


Virtually Faded

by AntlersandFangs, Celtic_Lass



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Angst, Cameos, Dragon hunting, Elvhen rituals, F/M, Feels, Gen, Humorous, It just keeps happening, M/M, Maybe - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Modern Characters in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, More tags to be added, NOTHING IS AS IT SEEMS, Self Harm, Slow Burn, Snowball Fights, Solas Being Solas, Solas is an Egg, Unreliable Narrator, You've been warned, drug mention, extremely and unapologetically self indulgent, in universe racism, just keep that in mind, like worse than possible in the games, misunderstandings are hilarious, solas finds out, worst world state, you're going off script a bit hun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2019-07-17 07:51:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 60
Words: 312,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16091261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AntlersandFangs/pseuds/AntlersandFangs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celtic_Lass/pseuds/Celtic_Lass
Summary: Game night gone horribly wrong! Two friends find themselves in a game, one has the mark the other is along for the ride. Follow Damon and Emma as they dive into the world of dragon age.Emma loves dragon age and it's characters but being pulled physically into Inquisition with the worst worldstate imaginable? Plus getting the anchor? Thankfully her longest and best friend is right beside her... only thing... He's now a Qunari and hasn't played the games yet.





	1. Chapter 1

     Damon was excited. EmmaTi had been hyping this game up to him for months, and today she said that she had finished her current playthrough and would let him do a trial run. She hadn’t managed to convince him to spend the money on it yet, but he was still excited to try this game she loved so much. They’d planned an overnighter, they were going to stay up all night, with the aid of a lot of coffee, and get as far through the game as they could before they crashed.

   “I brought beef jerky!” He yelled as he barged into her house. They’d known each other too long to care about things like knocking.

    “Great!” She yelled from the kitchen. “Everything's set up in the den. Dominos or Thai?”

    “Pizza!” He whooped and dropped his bag of offerings on the coffee table. “I have cash for a tip if you get spinach!”

    The brunette stuck her head into the den and made a face at him. “Why ruin a perfectly good pizza? I'll never understand your weird taste buds.”

   Damon rolled his eyes. “Fine, spinach only on my half. And my taste buds are not weird, miss ‘I like garlic on my eggs’.” He held the twenty out to her, waving and wiggling it obnoxiously in the air.

    “Fiiinnne!” She groaned as she ducked back into the kitchen. “I'm gonna order, start up the system, games already in there. Character creation is the longest part for me.”

    “Alrighty! You said I could be a giant with antlers, right? Cuz I wanna be a giant with antlers.” He flopped onto the couch and fumbled with the controller. His hands always felt too big for the things.

    “Horns.” She called back. “But yeah.”

    “Just as cool.” He watched the loading screen, wondering if it was supposed to glow that weird green. Game designers had strange ideas of cool colors sometimes. He watched the odd cutscene and eagerly began the surprisingly detailed process of creating himself.

    He, of course, chose a qunari warrior and gave it night black skin and ebony ram horns. He made the hair long and white and had fun playing with the eye colors until he found the perfect shade of silver white to match his hair for the left eye and a sharp gray for the right. He played around with the facial details, making his bone structure as sharp as possible and his ears as big as they would go. If he was gonna play a magical giant with horns it was going to be the most epic one ever. None of the tattoo options were quite right, he scrolled through them maybe four times before one finally popped out: it was a series of white dots that would line either side of his face like tear tracks. It was perfect. Satisfied with his appearance finally, he chose the deepest voice option available and started the game.

   “Hey, Emmati? I started! I’m in the weird green place.” He yelled back to the kitchen, eyes focused on the screen.

   There was a crash in the kitchen. “Ouch!! Son of a biscuit! Hold on… don't start without me! Crap!”

    Damon snickered at his best friend’s adamant refusal to ever use an actual curse word. He was sure the world would end if she did. “I’ll pause it as soon as I figure out how!” He started button mashing, sending his character tumbling around the screen.

   “I'm coming.” Emma darted from the kitchen to land on the couch beside him. The whole front of her shirt was wet with what looked like coffee. She gave his shoulders a quick squeeze in greeting as the screen cut to spiders chasing his character. Then the doorbell rang. “Pizza’s here.” Emma groaned."

   “Sweet! I’m starved.” He started to mash buttons. “How do you pause this thing?”

   “Here the middle button, let me.” Emma reached over his shoulder but yanked back hissing in pain as the controller shocked her.

   Damon dropped the vibrating controller in his lap and grabbed her hand to look at it. “Woah, are you okay?” Her hand sparked and she jerked, hissing again.

    “What the hell? Why is your hand glowing?” Damon’s voice cracked in shock as he did the only sensible thing he could think of and reached out to poke the oddly glowing green spot on his friends hand. There was a lurching sensation in his chest and time stretched oddly around them as an overwhelmingly loud crackling and screeching sound filled the room along with blinding lights in that same weird green from the game. He gripped Emma’s arm tightly, unwilling to risk losing her as something hit his head and gut with enough force to leave him breathless. The noise and lights grew in intensity until he squeezed his eyes shut and just held on to his friend, hoping to survive whatever was happening. Finally, an eternity later, his back crashed against something cold and hard and Emma crashed on top of him, crushing the last of his breath out with a wheeze.

    Emma moaned on top of him and flopped over curling into a ball cradling her left hand against her chest. “Crap, my hand feels like it's melting off!”

   Damon coughed and rolled over, trying to catch his breath, struggling to focus his eyes. “Shit, lemme see, I’ll get…” His voice trailed off as he realized they weren’t on the couch anymore. Everything was thrumming and dripping and… and green? “Emma, what’s happening?”

    Emma rolled over and uncurled her hand from her chest to show him but when she looked up at him her eyes bugged out and she scrambled backwards as fast a she could. “Wha…. who…. Damon?!” Her voice high pitched and squeaked.

    “Yeah, it’s me, did you hit your head?” He reached out to check her eyes, but froze at the sight of his hand. His pitch black, definitely larger than normal hand. “What the fuck?!” He looked at his arms which were also black, and reached up to feel the heavy weight on his skull. His fingers met horns. Horns. “Emma, hit me or something, I think I’m dreaming. Your hand is glowing and I think I’m a qunari!” It was hard to get air again, his breaths short and frantic.

  Emma visibly and audibly swallowed. “You’re big.” She squeaked out then turned her head to take on their surroundings. “Greenfloatingrocksdrippingbubblyblackwateritsthefuckingfade!”

    Damon stared at her with his mouth open for a second. “You swore. You- you actually said a swear.” He snapped his mouth shut and struggled to his feet. “Okay, end of the world. We’re in the Fade. C’mon, I’m not dying in here. Tell me how to get us out.” He swayed a bit. “Okay, I’m really tall now.”He was freaking out. A lot.

    “I think we try and find a tear… A green light.” Emma tried to stand but just as she got to her feet her hand crackled and hissed making her fall to her knees and cry out in obvious pain.

    Damon instinctively reached out to catch her and picked her up princess style. It was a lot easier than he remembered. “Okay, just point the way; I’ll get us there.”

     Emma used her other hand to point and he started walking in that direction. It felt weird and awkward to walk in his new body, but he was going to get them out of here come hell or high water. Or spiders. And there were spiders… not the small already creepy kind but spiders the size of large dogs, and not even just the oversized tarantulas like in Skyrim, but black dripping and screaming spiders. Damon clutched Emma tightly and muttered, “It’s gonna get bumpy, EmTi,” before breaking into a sprint, charging directly towards the glowing green tear hanging in the air, jumping and dodging the demonspiders as best he could. His legs burned and his lungs burned but he kept moving, up some sort of shifting staircase towards the green light. There was a blinding white figure there, reaching for them. He tried to shove Emma towards it, hoping it would help, but Emma gripped his wrist hard enough that her nails broke his skin, and dragged him forward with her.

    The light expanded and the air thrummed and he felt that horrible lurching in his gut before landing in an ungainly sprawl onto what looked like ash covered stone with no spiders in sight. Emma was still protected in his arms. “Did we make it?” He gasped, then toppled over into the dark numbness of unconsciousness.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Emma's head felt like it was in a vice and her stomach churned dangerously as she tried to pry her eyes open. She attempted to lift her arms but found them uncomfortably heavy. What happened? A hissing and popping noise accompanied by a stabbing pain in her left hand traveling up her forearm tore a whimper from her lips as she tried to curl around the limb. Oh yeah, that.

  
“She’s waking up… you! Inform the Seeker.” A hard voice ordered and she heard someone sprinting away. Rough hands yanked her into a sitting position, causing her stomach to lurch violently. She leaned to the side just in time to retch all over whoever was manhandling her’s boots. “Andraste's tits!”

  
“Emti?!” Damon’s voice sounded frantically from somewhere behind her. “Shit, let her go, she’s sick!”  
   

“Da...Damon?” Her throat was raw and now coated with stomach bile making her voice come out broken and horse. She tried to turn around to see him but a rough hand shoved her head forward almost to the hard stone beneath her.

 

“No talking.” Emma body was suddenly racked with dry heaves at the sudden movement. She could hear Damon cursing behind her until a sharp slapping sound shut him up. When her stomach calmed she chanced twisting her head to see if she was where she thought was. Yup, it was the dungeon for the beginning cutscenes. She was surrounded by four men, all with swords pointed straight at her.

  
“Oh wow, isn’t she scary all chained up and covered in vomit. You might need to get some more swords, guys!” Damon had that tone that normally meant someone was going to be very, very, very sorry pretty soon.

  
The door to the dungeon slammed open making her jump. Cassandra was a lot scarier looking in person, her features set into a hard scowl; the scar that ran along her cheek enhanced the fury that was clear in her sienna eyes. Leliana melded into the shadows behind her; if she hadn't known she was there she would have never spotted the redheaded bard.  
Cassandra circled her like she was prey. “Tell me why I shouldn't kill you now?” Oh, her voice was spot on from the game; Emma's inner fangirl squealed a bit. “The Conclave is destroyed, everyone is dead… except for you two.”

  
“Oh wow, that is kinda suspicious. Totally makes pointing swords at a sick girl reasonable.” Damon muttered under his breath.

  
Emma wanted to facepalm; of course Damon would antagonize, it's how he dealt with anything stressful: hit it or mock it. Cassandra's eyes darted to where Damon must be behind her. “Be silent, Qunari!” She spat out, hand tightening on the hilt of her sword.

  
“Qunar- Oh my gods! Are you racist? Emma, are they all racist?” He sounded horrified.

  
“Y… yes… Qunari are not liked.” She rasped out and looked pleadingly up at the Seeker. “He’s Tal Vashoth, he doesn't follow the Qun.”

 

“I don’t even know what the fuck a Qun is,” Damon muttered, but he finally fell silent.

 

Leliana moved into the torchlight for them to see. “You two are close, yes?” Emma nodded her head, but regretted it as another wave of nausea hit her. _Was the herald in this bad of shape or is it just me?_ “Do you know what happened?”

   
Emma thought for a moment, it would probably be best to follow the story dialogue here, lord knows she’s played it enough to have it memorized. “We were running, spiders chasing us… and then a… a woman.”

  
“A woman?” Leliana asked and Emma could hear an excited tinge in her voice.

  
“Go to the forward camp, Leliana.” Cassandra cut in quickly. “I will take the prisoner to the rift.” Leliana nodded and backed away, leaving them in the dungeon. Cassandra undid the shackles around her wrist but replaced them with a rope. “Come along.”

  
Emma tried to stand but her legs buckled under her weight. She cast a frantic look at Damon, noticing his clothes hadn’t fared well with his sudden size change. His jeans were in tatters barely covering him, and his shirt was completely gone. But they couldn’t get separated. She couldn’t leave him alone here. “I can’t.” She looked back up at Cassandra willing the woman to understand. “I need Damon.”

  
“Let me help her!” Damon piped up, rattling his shackles as he stood as far as the chains would let him.

  
“You think me foolish?” Cassandra asked as she tried to yank her to her feet once more, causing Emma to wince.

  
“Seeker.” Damon’s black lips peeled back to show his teeth. “If you hurt her again, I will chew through my own fucking arm so that I can crush you so far into the earth a god himself couldn’t find you.” He audibly growled, a noise she didn’t know he could make. “Let. Me. Help. Her.”

  
Emma saw Cassandra’s mask crack slightly at that and she tried again making her voice a pitiful as she could. “Please,” She pleaded, “I can’t walk, you can't carry me, but he can.”

  
“I’ll carry her, just that, no tricks. I don’t know what’s going on but you seem to need her. She’s hurt and needs my help,” Damon said softly.

  
As soon as Cassandra’s features softened, Emma knew they had convinced her. “Very well.” Her voice was clipped as she moved to Damon’s chains. “But if you run I will cut you down.”

  
Damon nodded curtly. “Got it.” He hurried to Emma’s side and gently picked her up. “You stink, EmTi.” 

 

Despite her pounding head Emma choked out a laugh. “Love you too, jerk.”

 

He arranged her into the princess carry and glanced down at the Seeker. “Where to?”

 

Cassandra lead them out of the dungeons keeping a wary eye on Damon the whole way. Damon rubbed soothing circles into her shoulder as he carried her, though she suspected it was as much for his comfort as it was for hers. They continued up a flight of stairs and onto the Chantry Proper. Emma loved old churches and would have probably gawked at everything under different circumstances, but right now all she wanted was her stomach to stop rolling and who ever was pounding on her head with a mallet to knock it off.

  
As they were lead out the Chantry's door, Emma felt Damon’s body tense and his arm tighten around her. “What the fuck is that?” He breathed, staring at the massive breach in the sky with his pale eyes wide in horror.  
Cassandra turned to regard them and Emma tucked her head against Damon’s shoulder to hide her face, not trusting she could fake an appropriate reaction and hoping his honest surprise and horror would be enough to convince the Seeker they had nothing to do with it.

  
“We call it the Breach.” Emma tuned out the familiar speech and clutched her hand as it flared back to painful life in response to the breach growing larger.

  
“Each time the Breach expands, your mark spreads… and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this but there isn’t much time.” Cassandra’s face was determined.

  
Damon reared back in shock, “It’s what? How do we get rid of it?”

  
Emma squeezed his shoulder in what she hoped was a reassuring gesture. “I understand.” She directed at Cassandra, looking over at the woman. Damon scowled and gritted his teeth but seemed willing to go along with what she decided.

  
“Then..”

  
“We’ll help however we can.” Cassandra almost smiled, almost, then turned to lead them down the path through Haven.

  
The game had not done the angry mob that gathered justice. The villagers swarmed around them, shouting curses and a few even gripping makeshift weapons. A particularly angry man charged at them with a hoe brandished, shouting something about “murdering Oxmen”, before Damon made a surprisingly agile twist and kick that connected with the man’s chest and sent him skidding back into the crowd. He bared his teeth at the crowd and tried to shield Emma with his new bulk.

  
Cassandra gave them an appraising look and made a poetic speech about angry people being like the sky before pulling out a dagger. Damon shied away, but Emma held her hands out, knowing what it was for.

  
“There will be a trial, I can promise no more.” She said as she sliced through the ropes.

  
“Oh, lovely! Are we going to have to sink to be declared innocent?” Damon grumbled.

  
Cassandra glared at him but turned to lead them down the path. Soldiers supporting wounded rushed past them, one cried about it being the end of the world. All this Emma knew but she wondered how far her knowledge went? There had only been one survivor in the game but with two? What was subject to changing? She worried her bottom lip between her teeth in thought. She couldn't fight like this. Damon couldn't fight while holding her. Sure, he did surprisingly great against the man with the hoe, but against demons? How would he manage against a demon?

  
The mark crackled again cutting off her thoughts as pain shot through her hand and arm. She whimpered, forcing her scream to stay in her chest where it couldn’t be heard. _How'd the game herald walk and fight with this? Am I that big a wimp?_

  
“The pulses are coming quicker now.” Cassandra said worry creasing her brow.

  
“No shit, Sherlock!” Damon scowled. “How do we fix it, Emma?”

  
“We need to keep going… once the breach is sealed it might stop.” Please lord make it stop. Damon tightened his grip and briskly followed Cassandra further as she told how they were seen falling from the rift with a women standing behind them. Something nagged at Emma's mind and she lifted her head from where it laid against Damon’s chest; she felt the blood drain from her face as she saw them approaching the bridge. _No.. nope, not gonna do that!_

  
“Cassandra, stop!” She shouted as loud as she could before the Seeker reached the bridge.  
“What is it? We must hurry!” She sounded miffed. _Thank me later._

  
“It's the Seeker.” A voice called out from the bridge and the soldiers at the far side started towards them. _Oh no!_

  
“GO BACK! GET OFF THE BRIDGE!” The soldiers stopped and everyone looked at her as if she’d grown a second head. They didn't run.

  
“What are you raving ab-” the Seeker was cut off as a boulder fell from the sky and ripped through the bridge, and those standing on it.

  
There was no time to react to the deaths before another boulder crashed into the frozen river nearby and a shade began to form.

  
“Stay behind me!” Cassandra shouted and charged down the embankment at the beast. Damon followed her down, albeit much slower with Emma in his arms. They watched as the Seeker caught the demon’s claw on her shield and pushed it back. They didn't watch long because another boulder smashed into the ground in front of them and began to bubble to life.

  
“Shit.” Damon glanced around frantically and spotted a crate. He rushed over and stuffed Emma hopefully out of sight behind it. The remnants of a soldier were nearby and he grabbed a battle axe from the dead soldier’s belt and rushed at the shade, swinging with every muscle he now had.

  
Emma panicked; she was useless like this. She watched as Damon dodged the shade demon’s claws. Glancing around she spotted a bow a few feet away and a soldier with a quiver full of arrows. _Oh.. thank god!_ She managed to push herself to her hands and knees and crawl to the bow to yank a arrow from the quiver. Never in her life had she been so grateful for a father who dragged her out in the woods every bow hunting season.

  
Notching the arrow, she used everything left in her to pull the string back and aim, but just as she had the demon in her sight, Damon finished it off with a final powerful swing, beheading the creature and sending black ichor flying. Cassandra on the other hand was still fending off blows from the shade she was fighting. Turning slightly, she let out a slow practiced breath and let the arrow fly. It hit the demon square in the back, making it rear back in pain giving Cassandra the opportunity to cut it in two.

  
Unlike the game, the bodies did not simply disappear and Emma wanted to gag at the sight of soldier and demon bodies torn apart. Damon rushed over to her and dropped his axe so he could check her for injuries. “Are you all right?”

  
“Yeah, I think so,” Emma said, then swallowed back down the bile that rose in her throat. Only now that she was on the frozen ground did she realize how cold it was, she was still dressed in her coffee stained Tee and sweats. How was she not frozen yet? That's when she realized how much body heat was rolling of Damon, and she leaned into it greedily. _Huh, maybe it's a Qunari thing? No wonder Bull goes shirtless._

  
“Drop your weapon, now!” The Seeker yelled, storming over towards them. Emma immediately dropped the bow and held her hand palms up, but Damon’s face clouded over and he turned a menacing glare on the Seeker.

  
“Seriously?!” Emma flinched at his cold tone. Bad things happened to people that tone was directed at. “She just shot a demon for you when we could have just run. She helped you when she could have just had me get her away while you weren’t looking and you’re going to yell at her? There’s fucking monsters falling out of the fucking sky and you want her to give up her only weapon?”

  
“Damon, it’s fine.” She tried to soothe his anger and rubbed his bicep with her good hand. She had only seen his temper flare this badly twice before back home, both times someone got hurt.

  
“No, Emti, it’s not fine!” He shook her shoulder slightly, not enough to hurt but still firm. “You're hurt, hell, you can't even walk! And yet you're still trying… pushing us forward without complaining, to help. The least she can do is show a little compassion!” He jerked his head towards the Seeker, who now looked thoroughly chastised. “And if she isn’t capable of compassion she can just stop treating you like you’re rabid.”

  
“I-”

  
Damon cut the Seeker off with a slashing motion of his hand and stood so he could loom over her. “No, you listen. She’ll help. That’s what she does. She always helps. My job is to make sure people like you don’t push her till she breaks. She’s going to help because she’s a good person, and I’m going to help her because that’s what I do, but you are going to at least be polite to her. Understand?”

  
Cassandra’s mouth snapped shut and her hands clenched into fists before she gave a crisp nod and turned from them. “We must hurry… take whatever weapons you need, I cannot protect you.”

  
Emma watched Damon close his eyes and breathe deliberately for a few breaths, reigning his temper in. She grabbed the bow and his ax. “I’ll hold these till you need them.”  
He nodded and stalked off, pushing corpses over and pulling arrows out of them until he had a quiver full. He slung the quiver over his shoulder and took a moment to tie a dead soldier’s cape around his waist to make a sort of skirt. “Here, if we can figure out how to put the ax on my back you can shoot while I carry you if we need.”

  
She could see the muscles in his jaw bunching. “Hey, you’re gonna break a tooth.” He snorted but loosened his jaw as he salvaged a sling for the axe. Emma tried to hand the axe to him but couldn't get the head off the ground. “How can you friggen lift this thing?”

  
He chuckled and took the handle, swinging it easily over his shoulder and into the sling. “I’m a bit bigger than you.” He scooped her up and turned to the Seeker. “We’re ready.”

  
“It's not fair.” She whispered, weakly slapping his chest, “I'm still me but you get the upgrades.”

  
“Well, I’ve gotta be useful somehow.” He glanced darkly at Cassandra, who was pointedly not looking at them.

  
Emma sighed and squeezed his hand to get his attention. “Cut her a little slack… she lost people.” When he glanced down at her with a questioning look she continued. “The Divine was like a mother to her… and she lost her lover. She’s hurt and confused.”

  
He was silent for a long moment before tilting his head to the side. “I’ll try. Right now though, I want to get that hand fixed. I’ll apologize or whatever later.”

  
“Thank you.” They continued on for quite a ways. The game had made the walk to the rift seem much quicker then it actually was. It was another fifteen minutes or so before they spotted the next group of demons.

  
Cassandra pointed the creatures out and Damon swung Emma up onto a boulder so she had a clear line of sight and a sliver of safety. She nocked an arrow and watched Damon and the Seeker walk an arc to flank the demons.

  
Damon was like a man possessed with that axe and Cassandra was equally impressive with her sword and shield. They really didn't need her help at all, but it didn't stop her from shooting one of the shades in the chest before Damon hacked clear through it like a rotten log. Cassandra handled her shade much quicker then the last time and the battle was over. _Did two shades qualify as a battle?_

  
She whooped and fist pumped in the air. Damon grinned up at her and shook his head as he headed back towards her. She may have started to shift her weight to gather up the quiver and next thing she knew she was slipping… and then falling. She flailed and absolutely did not squeal as she toppled off of her perch. Lucky for her there was a drift of snow against the boulder so it was a soft but very cold landing and the only thing that was hurt was her pride. Okay, and her skin. Ouch, snow was cold enough to burn.

  
Cassandra was the first to reach her, extending a hand to help her out of the drift. Damon was standing back with a toothy grin on his face. “You alright?” He didn’t sound overly concerned. If Emma knew her friend, and she did, he probably purposefully put her on the side with the snow pile.

  
“Shut up and get over here!” She growled without any malice. Her teeth were starting to chatter.

  
He laughed in a booming bass that was unfamiliar, but still completely his, and picked her back up. “Yes, your grace.” He countered the flippant words by hugging her closer to his chest and turning so his back got the brunt of the wind.

  
“How are you so warm?” She asked as she burrowed as deep into his arms as she could get.

  
“How are we even here?” He retorted.

  
“My guess? My amazingly horrible luck?” She joked halfheartedly.

  
“Makes sense to me.” He muttered as he trudged after the oddly silent Seeker. They fought one more time against some wisps and Emma was able to take them out fairly efficiently with her bow. She wasn't Sera good but she was happy with herself.

  
They had just started to climb up a steep set of stairs carved into the mountainside when Cassandra called down at them. “We’re getting close… you can hear the fighting.”

  
At the top of the stairs they found a broken bridge and below, a group of people fighting demons near a rift. Emma felt queasy looking at it, her hand throbbing with pain as they approached. They had to jump down a stone wall to get to the fighting and Damon quickly tucked her behind some (not on fire) rubble before charging into the fray.

  
The fight was bloody, but short. Emma kept the demons distracted with her arrows and the warriors cut them down in sprays of black ichor. Suddenly she remembered that she needed to close the rift and started trying to drag her jelly like legs forward. Solas appeared next to her and tried to drag her along, huffing with impatience when she collapsed against him. He picked her up, though with more difficulty than Damon, and carried her towards the rift. “Quickly, before more come through!” He grasped her arm and forced it toward the rift. Pain lanced up her forearm as it connected to the tear in the veil and Emma couldn't keep the scream in her chest this time. There was a loud cracking noise that drowned out her scream and a blinding flash of light and then the rift was closed. It was gone. Emma let out a sigh of relief as the excruciating pain finally eased, leaving her drained and nauseous. Solas let go of her as if she were on fire and she crumpled to the ground where she swayed weakly, trying to stay sitting upright.

  
Damon rushed over and knelt by her, concern creasing his brow. “Hey, what was that? Are you all right?” He frowned at Solas. “What did you do?”

  
Solas placed his arms behind his back, making Emma want to laugh despite the pounding in her head. “I did nothing, the credit is hers.”

  
“So the mark? It did that?”

  
“Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon her hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake – and it seems I was correct.”

  
Cassandra’s face lit up but before she could say what was on her mind, Varric leaned against a stone and drawled, “Is anybody gonna tell me why there’s an almost naked qunari here? I mean, get the man some pants!”

  
Cassandra’s face turned a bright shade of pink at that. “We….we could not find a pair large enough.”

  
Emma snorted shook her head at them. “Hi, I'm Emma. He’s Damon.”

  
“Varric Tethras, rogue, storyteller, and occasionally unwelcome tagalong.” The dwarf extended his hand and Damon shook it amicably enough.

  
“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I’m pleased to see you still live.” Solas stepped forward and nodded down at Emma, offering a small smile.

  
“By that he means, ‘I kept the mark from killing you while you slept’.” Varric clarified with a smirk.

  
“Wait! You’re Solas? The Solas?” Damon turned with wide eyes to Emma. “That’s the Solas you never shut up about?” Emma immediately felt the mage’s eyes burrowing into her back and the blood drained from her face. _Crap crap crap_!

  
Solas frowned. “You’ve heard of me?”

  
Damon wobbled his hand in a so-so gesture, apparently realizing that probably was not the smartest thing in the world to blurt out. “Um. Of, but not much about.”

  
“And you told him about me?” Solas’s voice was mildly inquisitive but she wasn't fooled.  
_Think, Emma! Come on, think!_

  
Cassandra frowned. “That makes me think, how did you know to warn those on the bridge?” _Bless you, Cassandra!_

  
“I...um… see things sometimes.” She knew she was playing with fire but it was the only thing that made sense to say.

  
Damon picked up the story and ran with it like only he could. “Yeah, it’s all vague and shit, but sometimes she’ll just wake up knowing things. It’s not real consistent and kinda vague. It kinda helps to listen to her. She said I should carry extra clothes last week, but-” He gestured at his torn jeans and makeshift skirt.

  
“You’re a seer? A mage?” Cassandra’s voice was hard as she asked the question but Solas answered before Emma could.

  
“She is no mage.”

  
“Gods, you’re even more smug than she said you’d be,” Damon muttered under his breath. She reached up and slapped the back of his head in the universal signal of, ‘ _shut up you absolute boat waffle’_. Emma could tell Solas had heard it by the way his eyes narrowed.

  
Damon coughed and stood. “You seem to know the most about the mark. Do you know how to get rid of it?”

  
“Solas is an apostate,” Cassandra cut in. “Well versed in such matters.”

  
“Aren't all Mages apostates now Seeker?” Emma answered quickly hoping if she defended the ancient elf it might throw off some suspicion.

  
Solas stared at her a split second before muttering, “Indeed.” Then focused on Damon. “Unfortunately all my attempts to remove the mark from your friend’s hand have failed.”

  
Damon frowned in disappointment, then narrowed his eyes. “How long were we unconscious? How long did you have to try?”

  
“Two days.” The Seeker answered, her voice laced with exhaustion. “We did not believe she would survive.”

  
“The mark worked though.” Varric said bringing everyone's attention to the here and now. “It might close the big one.”

  
Emma meanwhile was forgotten in the ground as they spoke and without Damon as her heater it wasn't long before she started shivering. “W-we sh-should probably get m-moving, huh?”

  
“Shit.” Instantly Damon scooped her up off of the ground and tried to rub some warmth back into her arms.

  
Varric shrugged out of his duster and offered it, “Here, princess, this might help.”

  
Emma would have squealed if she wasn't so blasted cold. _A bonafide Varric Tethras nickname!_ “Th-thank you, Varric.” Damon helped her put it on and she soaked in the warmth.

  
“Yes, we should hurry.” Cassandra said as she began to lead them forward again. It was slow going; they had to stop three more times to fight demons before they were near enough to the forward camp for her hand to react to the rift there.

  
“Dang it!” Emma hissed as the mark sparked again.

  
“Another rift,” Solas called out as her moved to stand next to Damon to look at her hand, worry creasing his brow. “We must seal it.”

  
Damon looked down on Emma in concern. “Can you? You’re looking pretty rough, EmTi.”  
Emma forced on a determined expression. “If I don't the demons will tear them apart. Just get me there.”

  
Damon hugged her sadly but nodded. “Okay. I’m not setting you down this time though.” He glanced at the group. “If you clear the way I’ll get her to the rift. Anyone have a sword I can borrow? I need something I can swing one-handed if I have to.”

  
Varric pulled a long dagger out from his belt. “Here ya go, Blot.”

  
Damon squinted at him but took by the dagger. “Thanks, short stack.”

  
Varric chuckled and moved forward. He, Cassandra, and Solas advanced on the rift to clear the way, cutting a path through the demons to allow Damon to charge directly to the rift with Emma.

  
Emma thrust out her hand and grit her teeth as it connected with the rift. The pain was overwhelming, making her head swim and darkness edge in on her vision. She gathered every scrap of stubborness she had left to focus on closing the rift. She heard the rift snap shut and her head lolled against Damons chest. She vaguely heard her name being called but there was a white hot ringing in her head, and she let her eyes slip shut.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Damon felt Emma go limp in his arms and frantically tried to wake her up. He set her down so he could turn her face towards him, calling her name urgently. She wasn’t responding. He checked her pulse and clutched her in relief when he found it. “Seeker! Please! She needs a doc- a healer!”

  
Solas knelt down by them, his hands flaring in a blueish green light as they hovered over her. Emma breathed deeply as if waking and her eyelids fluttered. “Her body is exhausted from fighting the mark, but she will be fine with the proper rest.”

  
“N-no time.” Emma mumbled but burrowed sleepily against Damon. “Your magic feels cold.”

  
Damon let out a relieved breath as the bald mage chuckled. “It was meant to revive, Da'len."

  
“We’ll make time. You can’t fix anything if your heart gives out.” He gathered her back up and stood to face the Seeker. “I know things are-” He glanced up at the breach. “Dire, but I need to take her somewhere to rest.”

  
Cassandra nodded and turned toward the gates that were being opened for them. “There should be cots set up for the wounded inside.” She glanced back apologetically before adding. “We cannot wait long but she could rest as long as we can spare.”

  
“Thank you.” He said sincerely.

  
They moved forward, Damon ignored the arguing as Cassandra directed him to a small lean to with a few cots. He gently laid Emma down and wrapped her snugly in nearby blankets. Solas sat on the cot beside her and took up her marked hand, hands flaring with healing spells. “I will watch over your friend and monitor the mark.”

  
Damon hesitated, eying the mage suspiciously. He knew from the tone Emma used when she mentioned him that he shouldn’t trust him more than he could throw him, but she always added “later”. You’ll find out later. It… it should be okay to leave her with him just for a minute. He could see the Seeker standing impatiently outside of the tent, probably with an important plot point. He nodded finally. “Thank you. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  
“Thank me when the breach is sealed.” Solas said with a sad shake of his head . “She may not survive the closing of it.”

  
Damon snarled soundlessly. “She’s too stubborn for that.”

  
“For all our sakes, I hope you are correct.” Solas then closed his eyes and slipped into what looked like meditation, holding Emma's marked hand firmly in his own.

  
“Anyway, she’s like all of my impulse control.” He grinned with all of his teeth and slipped out of tent to speak with Cassandra, who simply led him towards a group of people standing around a small table.

  
The redhead from the dungeon was there, and she was arguing with some guy in weird robes. She looked up with masked relief. “You made it. Chancellor Roderick, this is-”

  
“I know who he is!” The man sneered. “Where is the other? As Grand Chancellor of the Chantry, I hereby order you to take these criminals to Val Royeaux to face execution.”

  
Damon bared his teeth and straightened his spine, his fingers hovering halfway up so he could easily grab his axe if he needed. “You will take her over your dead body.”

  
Cassandra held out a hand to keep him back. “Order me? You are a glorified clerk. A bureaucrat!”

  
Damon watched them argue about something political, soaking in the scraps of information best he could. Finally, when it seemed it was going nowhere he spoke up. “What about the Breach?”

  
“You and your accomplice caused the breach.” The robed man shouted waving his arms angrily at him.

  
“Okay, Sir Rod the Dick, I need suggestions on what to do about the massive fucking hole in the sky instead of accusations. You’re, you, are useless right now.” He turned to the redhead, who seemed to be the thinking kind. “What are the options?”

  
Roderick opened his mouth but Damon just held a massive hand up so it blocked his face from view. “Besides trying to send us to die, because I’m not letting that happen.”

  
“We must get to the temple. It’s the quickest route,” Cassandra stated.

  
“But not the safest. Our forces can charge as a distraction while we go through the mountains.” Leliana countered.

  
Damon frowned. “I don’t know if i can make it through the mountains while carrying,” He glanced at Roderick, “My friend.”

  
“She has not recovered?” Leliana frowned.

  
“Sealing the rifts apparently takes a lot out of her.”

  
“Do you even hear yourselves?” Roderick asked in disbelief. “You would trust our fate to some… some-”

  
“DO NOT-” Cassandra snapped completely surprising Damon with the venom in her tone. “Do not finish that sentence, Chancellor!” The title was spat as a insult. The chancellors mouth snapped shut and he threw his hands up before storming off.

  
Damon shrugged to loosen the tension in his shoulders. This whole thing was fraying his temper to shreds.

  
Cassandra took a bracing breath. “What do you think, Damon?”

  
He blinked in surprise. “Me? I think we should take the direct route. I just don’t think I can get Emma through a mountain pass.” He gazed back to the tent where Solas was watching over Emma. “Solas says she doesn’t have much time.” The back of his eyes itched. He wanted to cry, to freak out over this whole mess, but right now… right now he just had to handle things until they could figure out how to get home.

  
Cassandra put her hand on his shoulder in what he guessed was supposed to be a comforting gesture. “We’ll do what we can, I promise.” She turned to the other women. “Leliana. Bring everyone left in the valley. Everyone.”

  
Everyone scattered to gather weapons, pass on information, all the details that moving an army required. Damon caught Cassandra’s elbow before she could leave.

  
“Hey, I-” He grimaced. “I’m sorry about the yelling thing earlier. I’m freaked out and I’m worried about Emma, but I know you’re just as…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish. “So, I apologize.”

  
Something flashed across Cassandra's features but it was gone before he could identify what it was. She pressed her lips firmly together and gave him a crisp nod; she took a step but stopped and turned back to him. “I am sorry as well… I was not… I was not kind… to either of you.”

  
“‘S forgiven.” He flashed a smile at her. “I’m gonna go get Emma. I’ll meet up with you.” He paused before turning away. “I’m glad it was you that found us and not… someone else.” He threw a meaningful look in the direction Roderick had left in. Her answering smile caught him completely off guard. She had a very pretty smile. He headed to the healing tent, his smile lingering.

  
Solas was watching a much improved Emma drinking what looked like broth. She peered up at Damon’s face curiously. “Okay, what did I miss?”

  
He shook his head and grinned. “I just yelled at some people, apologized to others, got us  
into another mess. We’re gonna charge with the soldiers to try and reach the temple.”

  
Her eyes widened at that. “But Leli’s scouts are on the mountain path. We’ll lose them!” Abruptly the color in her face drained and she glanced at Solas who seemed intrigued, either by her familiar name for Leliana or the knowledge she shouldn’t have.

  
“I’m sorry. I just can’t get you through the mountains. I had to pick the way I knew we would be able to get through.” Damon looked crushed. “Is… is there any way to save them while still going the direct way?”

  
Emma's face scrunched in thought, then she shook her head in defeat. “No…. they're fighting a rift and pinned down by demons… half the squad is already gone.” She dropped her head sadly. “Without me to close it..” she trailed off.

  
Damon closed his eyes and shook his head. “Fuck. So I got them killed.”

  
Emma looked up at him and shook her head. “No, people would have died either way. It's not your fault.”

  
Solas made an interested noise and stood. “Our primary concern is the breach.” He looked down at Emma with a piercing gaze. “While your concern for others’ wellbeing is admirable, you are our only hope to close the breach.”

  
Damon nodded decisively. “Right. A lot more people will die if we don’t deal with that. C’mon, Emma. Let’s go.” Before he bent to pick her up Solas held out a small flask to him. “What's this?”

  
“A restorative, not to be taken often, but it may help will give you more energy.” The mage turned and made to exit the tent.

  
“Solas?” He stopped when Emma called his name tentatively, turning back to her. “Thank you… for everything.”

  
“No thanks necessary, da’len.” He murmured and continued on his way.

  
“Sooo… what's his story?” Damon whispered when he was sure the mage was out of hearing range.

  
Emma dropped her head heavily back on the pillow behind her, “It’s…. really complicated.”

  
“Uh huh,” he gave her a sceptical look. “What was that last part? Da’ something or other?”

  
Emma snorted. “Child, he called me a child.”

  
Damon snickered. “Well, c’mon kiddo, we’ve got a war to fight.” He chugged the potion Solas had given him, grimacing at the taste and giving a full body shudder as it took effect. “Woo, that’s some nasty stuff.” He laid the empty flask on the bed and scooped her up.

  
Emma laughed, “I know right? He forced some down my throat too.”

  
“Feeling better?” He attempted to duck out of the tent but one of his horns caught on the door flap and he had to wait until Emma freed him.

  
“Much… I might be able to stand without falling over now.” She chuckled as she finished.

  
“That’s good. Want to try?”

  
Emma made a face, “Might want to save it… it gets rough towards the end… pride demon.”

  
He made a noise in the back of his throat. “Y’know what’s funny, Emma? I’ve killed actual demons now. Makes that bullshit name my parents gave me a little better. Maybe. Damon Theron. Demon Hunter.”

  
Emma threw back her head and laughed, really laughed, and the sound made the weight on his shoulders considerably lighter . “Oh, I'm sure you’ll rack up plenty of titles before you know it…. how does Damon Theron Dragon Slayer sound?”

  
He wrinkled his nose. “Redundant. Also. When you say dragons, are you talking like… big lizards? Or “oh gods, it set me on fire and stepped on me” dragon?”

  
“Think skyrim, but bigger.” She wiggles her eyebrows playfully.

  
“Bigger. Right. Okay.” He said faintly. “I need some armour.”

  
Emma patted his shoulder reassuringly, “don't worry I’ll steer us clear of dragons.” She paused then grinned. “At least until we’ve picked up Bull.”

  
“Bull? Who’s that?” Before she had the chance to answer, Varric popped up with a bundle and a grin.

  
“Ah, there you are. I managed to find you some pants. It even has some chain mail to protect those shins of yours.” The rogue made a thoughtful face, “You know, I've never seen a Qunari wear a shirt, do you wear shirts?”

  
“And hide all this?” Damon shrugged his massive shoulders and grinned. “I wouldn’t want to deprive the world.”

 

  
Things moved swiftly once the soldiers were in position. Cassandra kept them to the rear of the charge to ensure Emma's safety and so Damon didn't have to worry about setting her down in a battle field. There were a few casualties but most injuries weren't life threatening. There was another rift that the soldiers kept contained until they could get there. Right as he approached it with Emma, her hand sputtered to life again and the rift went active as if sensing her.

  
He set her down, and she wobbled for a second before finding her balance and nodded for him to go, notching an arrow to her bow string. Solas wordlessly took up guard next to her and Damon knew he wouldn’t let a demon get close. There was too much at stake.

  
Damon unslung his axe and charged in to help the soldiers currently fending of a new kind of demon. It was greenish brown with elongated arms and legs, dagger like talons, and a misshapen head. It’s jaw hung impossibly open, frozen in a soundless scream. How many varieties of demons were there? He charged, but before he reached swinging distance the demon bent down and appeared to rip a glowing hole into the ground that it disappeared into. “Shit.”

  
A cry of alarm went out and he turned just in time to see the demon reappear under a soldier, knocking him down, and eviscerate the man.

  
“Shitshitshitshitshit.” Damon chanted and charged at the creature before it could pull that trick again. It reached for the ground and he dropped low into a swing, chopping a hand off before it could disappear. The demon let out an ear piercing shriek and raised up to its full height, giving Damon full access to its vulnerable abdomen. It was quick work to cut it down. He let his axe touch the ground and took a moment to pant. Fighting was hard work. Being scared was hard work.

  
“DEMON!!” Cassandra yelled.

  
He looked towards her. “What?”

  
“BEHIND YOU!”

  
“Oh!” He realized she wasn’t just calling him and spun around, barely catching a demon’s arm with the handle of his axe. There was a snick and the demon reared back with a crossbow bolt in its shoulder, allowing Damon to jump backwards out of its reach. A sword tip suddenly emerged through the demons chest cavity and carved its way upwards and out its shoulder. The demon flailed but it was quickly put to a end as the owner of the sword brought it around in an arc and the head fell to the ground with a sickening thud, the rest of it body following.

  
The owner of the sword was in full armor, a helm shaped like a lion, and a dark red fur around his neck. The man nodded a acknowledgment to him and turned back to the rift. The demons were all neutralized and Emma moved towards it, supported by Solas who allowed her to place her weight on him, with one arm around his neck.

  
Damon moved to stand beside her just as she thrust her hand out. Again, her face twisted into a rictus of agony but she clenched her jaw and only the faintest whimper escaped as the rift slammed closed. Her knees buckled and he was there to lift her up.

  
“Sealed, as before.” Solas said gazing at Emma cradled in Damon’s arms. “You are getting proficient at this.” Emma laughed weakly but just shook her head and leaned against Damon.

  
The man with the red fur approached. “Lady Cassandra, you managed to close the rift? Well done.”

  
“Do not congratulate me, Commander. This is their doing.” She said gesturing to him and Emma.

  
The man lifted his helm from his head and raked a hand through sweat-soaked golden hair and studied them with whiskey colored eyes. “Is it? I hope they’re right about you two. We’ve lost a lot of people getting you here.”

  
Damon blinked in awe at the man before letting a slow, crooked grin slide onto his face. “Well, hello gorgeous.” He stuck out a hand. “I’m Damon, it’s a pleasure to see you.”

  
The man’s ears and cheeks colored beet red and a hand went to rub the back of his neck. “Maker!” He groaned and turned away. Damon flinched when Emma slapped the back of his head, hard. Really hard.

  
“Ow, what was that for?”

  
“You know!” She challenged.

  
“But-”

  
“Straight.”

  
“Oh.” Damon felt a bit disappointed but shrugged. “Sorry, man. I’m Damon Theron, this is Emma Konstantina.”

  
The man looked at Emma with a wary gaze. “Commander Rutherford.” He did a crisp salute, fist over heart. He turned back to Cassandra. “The way to the temple should be clear. Leliana will try to meet you there.”

  
“Then we’d best move quickly. Give us time, Commander.” She said then turned to give Damon a sour look. _Just because I made the man uncomfortable?_

  
“Maker watch over you – for all our sakes.” The man said before turning to help an injured soldier hobble away toward the healers.

  
Damon wasn't prepared for the sight ash covered ruins and burned corpses twisted in the obvious agony of their death. “The Temple of Sacred Ashes.” Solas’ voice radiated sadness and regret.

  
“What’s left of it.” Varric whispered and Damon felt Emma bury her head against his chest, not willing to look at the carnage. He tightened his grip and doubled his pace. The sooner he got her through all of this the better.

  
When they reached ash covered wall Cassandra pointed to spot close by. “That is where you fell out the Fade and our soldiers found you. They said a woman was in the rift behind you. No one knows who she was.”  
Damon nodded absently, in truth he didn't really care about that right now; what he did care about is getting Emma to the breach and her surviving this thing. Then they could go about finding out what had happened and hopefully find a way out of this nightmare.

  
They passed through a ruined archway and there, in the center of a crater, the heart of the destruction, was the twisted green rift. “The breach is a long way up.” Varric’s voice seemed far loader then it should have been, the sound bouncing off of the walls like a colosseum.

  
Heavy footsteps rang behind them making them all turn as the redhead, Leliana, jogged in followed by two dozen or so scouts. “You made it! Thank the Maker!” The relief in her voice was palpable.

  
Cassandra quickly started shouting orders and turned back to him, but focused on Emma in his arms. “This is your chance to fix this.”

  
Emma nodded. Cassandra seemed satisfied with that and turned away to shout more orders but Damon felt her tremble. “Hey, talk to me.”

  
She looked up at him, worry evident in her eyes. “It wasn't supposed to be me,” she whispered. “The one who got the mark wasn't as messed up as I am and closing the breach nearly kills them.”

  
Damon looked away. “Don’t think like that. You’re going to make it. I know it. You’re too stubborn and if you do die I will march into the fade and drag you out by your ears.”

  
Despite the war going on behind her eyes Emma laughed, “I’ll hold you to that.”

  
“Are you ready?” Cassandra asked as she gestured towards a stone staircase that survived the explosion.

  
Damon set his jaw and readjusted his grip on Emma. He waited for his best friend’s nod before heading after the Seeker. Let’s get this over with.

 

 

 

Damon felt sick as he laid Emma's pale, unconscious form on the bed in the cabin they had directed him to. At least it wasn't a cell this time around and he was awake to keep an eye on her.

 

Everything had gone to shit when they reached the Temple. First was the memory neither of them remembered, if it had happened at all. Who knows how this reality had been affected when they had been sucked over here. Then, there was the pride demon. When Emma had mentioned it she could've said something about the size. It had taken everything in him and the others to bring the son of a bitch down. His shoulder still ached, despite the healing from Solas, where the pride demon had managed to catch him with a claw. Lastly was Emma. She had managed to get herself into position to close the breach while he and Cassandra finished off the demon. Stubborn dumbass that she was, she had begun to try and close the damned thing before he could get there to support her. The resulting blast had sent them all flying backwards and when the dust had settled, Emma was laying pale and still on the ash covered ground, blood trickling from her nose.

 

He undid Emma’s fraying pony tail and finger combed her hair before braiding it up out of her face. Oh, and to top it all off the very people who were calling for their heads earlier that day now praised them as some kind of heros. How very typical of mobs.

  
Solas entered, carrying buckets of water and clean rags. He set them down by the bed and cast a small spell until steam curled from their surface, and held out a cloth to him. Damon took it with a weary nod of thanks and began washing the blood and ash from her face.

  
“Is she going to make it? I’ve-” His voice cracked. “I’ve never seen her this bad off.”

  
Solas frowned and took up her marked hand, his hands glowing as he cast some kind of magic. After a moment he hummed and set her hand back down gently. “Without the mark attacking her body, I would say she has a good change of recovering fully.”

  
“So it’s not killing her anymore?” He held the flicker of hope in his chest until he had confirmation.

  
Solas shook his head. “Not at the moment, but..” he paused and Damon felt his heart drop. “After a time the magic will prove to much for her body to handle.”

  
Damon sucked in a sharp breath and buried his head in his hands. “How long is ‘after a time’?”

  
Solas laid a light hand on his shoulder. “Time is on her side.” He said then sighed. “Perhaps we may yet find a way to remove it safely. But for now she and the mark are needed. The breach has only been stabilized.”

  
“The good of the many.” He murmured and used the cloth to clean some ash off of her wrist. “She used to mention you, you know.”

  
The hand on his shoulder tensed a fraction but relaxed almost instantly. “I admit, I’m curious to know what she may have said.”

  
“Nothing specific, whatever secrets you have are safe. She- hell, I don’t even know if she loves or hates you. She says you’re complicated. Dangerous, but she says that fondly. Leaves me in a hell of a predicament.” He chuckled. “I know you wanted to know what she’s told people. That’s it. All of it.” He glanced over at the mage. “I- I don’t know. I think I’m trying to thank you for all you’ve done for her.”

  
Solas nodded thoughtfully his eyes studying Emma. “No thanks necessary.” He said quietly and moved towards the door, pausing to glance back at Damon. “I will return with broth for both of you.” Then he smiled slightly as if remembering the man was a qunari. “Unless you’d like something more filling?”

  
Damon gave a tired smile. “I could probably eat a horse. I think Cassandra would disapprove of that though, so whatever is available would be appreciated.”

  
Solas inclined his head and shut the door softly behind him.

  
He stared at the closed door thoughtfully. Solas was odd. He was kind, oddly so. Always helping, always in the thick of things, always near the mark. His face was damn near unreadable too, but if you could catch him off guard you could see he was hiding something. Damon shook his head and finished washing ash from underneath Emma’s fingernails. As Emma always said, he’d see what Solas was up to later. For now, he’d accept any help with keeping Emma alive.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The first thing Emma noticed was a weight on her stomach, and it was heavy, almost uncomfortably so. She pried her eyes open only to shut them against the harsh light streaming in through the window. She must have groaned because the weight immediately shifted off of her.

“EmTi? Emma? You wakin’ up?”

“Da-dam-” her mouth felt like it was filled with cotton and her voice came out rough and painful. She felt him sit up next to her and lean away. A second later a cup was pressed into her hand and guided towards her mouth.

“Water. You’ve been out for a while. Solas helped me keep you hydrated, but you probably need to drink more.” She drank the cool water greedily and Damon had to pull it away. “Hey, not so fast.”

There was a quiet knock at the door and Damon rumbled permission to enter as he continued helping her drink, only allowing her a few sips at a time.

“How is--oh!” Emma peeked her eyes open to see Cassandra standing in the open doorway, her cheeks flushed. “Uh, forgive me, I thought you said I could come in.” She turn as if to beat a hasty retreat.

“Hmm? Oh, I did! She’s awake now. Did you need something?” Damon took the cup away from her and replaced it with a stale cracker like thing.

“How-” Emma tried again her throat didn't hurt as much now but her voice still sounded like it had been scraped with sandpaper. “How long?”

“Three days.” The Seeker answered, moving into the cabin and closing the door.

“Solas said you’d be waking up soon.” Damon said and nudged her hand holding the... cracker? Wafer? She took small nibble, not really feeling like eating anything but if it put Damon’s mind at ease she’d suffer through.

Damon wasn't usually a public cuddler, and the fact that he hadn't leaped away when Cassandra had showed up was evidence about how worried he was.

“Solas?” She asked as she took another small bite.

“Solas has been very helpful,” Cassandra said, her cheeks had returned to normal color but she seemed to be looking at everything in the cabin except them. “He assisted in your care without being asked and informed us that you should wake today.”

Emma frowned, how did he know when she would wake up? She frantically tried to remember if she had dreamed, there was something but she couldn't remember exactly what. The thought of Solas prowling in her dreams sent a chill up her spine.

Speaking of the devil: the elf knocked and briskly strode in with a bundle under under one arm and a pair of boots dangling from his other hand. “Ah, you’re awake.” He stated as he set the bundle on a chair near the door. “I brought some clothes, they should be better suited than your previous attire.”

“He burned your others.” Damon chuckled as he maneuvered to get up from the bed without squishing her. He grimaced. “Are you going to need help getting dressed?” Emma would bet that if Damon’s skin wasn’t so pitch black she’d see an embarrassed blush.

“I think I can manage.” She said hesitantly as he picked up the clothes from the chair and deposited them in her lap. There was a soft green long sleeve tunic and brown leggings.

He nodded with a grateful look. “I’ll be just outside if you need me. I think they’re gonna want to introduce you to the ‘mportant Inquisition peeps now that you’re awake.”

Emma's head snapped up at that and gave him a small pout . “Inquisition…. I missed that?”

He shrugged apologetically. “Yeah.” His eyes turned a bit glassy. “Cassandra was so bad ass.”

Cassandra coughed but Emma could see the woman trying to hide a smirk. Solas moved forward without her noticing and placed a hand on her forehead, making her flinch. “How are you feeling? Does the mark pain you in anyway?” He asked, pretending not to notice her reaction.

“Uh...fine I guess.” She mumbled and looked down at her lap. “Alittlelightheaded… noitfeelsfineIthink.”

“EmTi, don’t you dare try and be tough and lie.” Damon turned his suspicious eyes off of Solas and onto her.

Emma looked up at him apologetically, “It just stings a bit… but I'm fine.” Damon knew her pretty well, but she wasn't very keen on being in Solas’ debt either. She had loved his character in the games, but there's just something different about having the man right there in the flesh. And his eyes were boring into her as if he could somehow see her darkest secrets. Well, to be fair I do know a lot of his.

Solas picked up her hand and (gosh, his hand was cold) began casting what she assumed was healing magic as the sting eased to a slight.. itch? Yup definitely a itch. “You must be careful not to over tax yourself; your body is still recovering.”

“Yes, sir.” She said, withdrawing her hand and crossing her arms. Solas gave her a curious look but said nothing more to her. He bid Cassandra and Damon goodbye and left.

Cassandra and Damon moved outside to give her privacy, and she pulled the white sleeping shift she had been wearing over her head. Someone had replaced her underwear with what she guessed was a pair of smalls and her bra was nowhere in sight. Oh yeah, Solas had burned them. I really hope it was Cassandra who changed me and not Damon, heaven forbid it was Solas. Guess I'm gonna have to go without until I can find some wrappings or something.

She slipped the shirt over her head and immediately missed her bra as the shirt hid nothing. The leggings was a little more difficult to put on, seeing as she didn't trust herself to stand just yet. She ended up flopping backwards on the bed once they were on her legs and shimmying into them the rest of the way. They were tighter than she’d like but not uncomfortably so.

“Uh… I'm good!” She called out to the door.

Damon reentered the cabin and helped her into the boots Solas had brought, then helped her stand, supporting most of her weight with one arm. She felt stiff and shaky.

“Cassandra went ahead to gather up everyone. We’re supposed to meet them in the Chantry.” He told her as they made their way slowly to the door. Holy moly, it was cold outside; no wonder Solas' hands were like ice.

Haven was a bustle of activity, people darting from one place to another, merchants shouting over their wares near the gates, Inquisition troops marching past, and it was all much bigger than the game portrayed. She hadn't really noticed when Cassandra had lead them through on their way to the breach. Of course now that her hand wasn't actively trying to kill her it was easier to notice things.

They hadn't gone ten feet before almost everyone stopped dead in their tracks to stare at them and Emma felt like a deer caught in the headlights. Damon just squeezed her hand and kept moving them forward so she had to focus on moving her feet instead of the crowd. After a grueling ten minutes of awkward shuffling they finally made it to the Chantry and Emma sagged in relief once they were behind its doors and away from the mob’s eyes.

Cassandra greeted them with a grim smile. “This way, we have much to discuss.” She led them to a room and Emma suppressed a fangirl squeal as they entered the war room.

Cullen, Leliana, and Josephine were waiting there.

“You’ve met Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition’s forces.” She gestured at Cullen.

“It was only for a moment on the field. I’m pleased you survived.” Emma blushed, he really was handsome, with the scars and all of… him.

Damon nodded politely at him and Cassandra gestured to Josephine. “This is lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassador and chief diplomat.”

“You’re… even taller than I heard.” The brunette breathed as she took in Damons size.

Emma saw a wicked grin cross Damon’s face and knew, she just knew, what would come out of his mouth the second he opened it. She elbowed him sharply in the stomach. “No. Just. No.”

Cassandra glanced darkly at Damon before introducing Leliana. “And of course you know Sister Leliana.”

Damon looked like he was going to say something again with the way he looked her up and down and grinned. “Keep your libido in check for one blasted minute.” She hissed. Honestly, she couldn’t take him anywhere.

Leliana eyed them with sharp interest. “My position here involves a degree of-”

“She is our spymaster.” Cassandra cut in.

“Yes, tactfully put, Cassandra.” Leliana said dryly.

Damon inclined his head politely, seeming to finally be willing to be serious. “I’m pleased to meet you all. What was it that we needed to discuss?”

“We’ve discussed how your mark needs more power to close the Breach for good.” Cassandra addressed Emma.

“Which means we must approach the rebel mages for help.” Leliana leaned against her hands on the table. Emma was still shocked about the difference between the bard now and in the Origins game.

“And I still disagree. The Templars could serve just as well.” Cullen argued, one hand resting in his swords hilt, not threateningly, but as if it were just a more comfortable stance for him.

“We need power, Commander. Enough magic poured into that mark–” Cassandra tried to reason but Cullen cut her off with a wave of his hand.

“Might destroy us all. Templars could suppress the breach, weaken it so–”

“Pure speculation.” Leliana cut them both off.

“I was a Templar. I know what they’re capable of.” He said looking directly at Emma as if willing her to understand. Emma dropped her gaze to the map. She hated everything that Cullen had gone through yet for all he’s overcome she just couldn't side with him on his stance about the Templars.

Josephine finally spoke up. “Unfortunately, neither group will even speak to us yet. The Chantry has denounced the Inquisition – and you two, specifically.”

Damon scowled. “Y’all have some kinda theocracy? The Chur-Chantry runs everything?”

Leliana looked at him sharply and Emma had to stifle a groan. She hadn't been able to explain the current, complicated political dance in Thedas to him, not wanting to spoil the games for him and it was coming back to bite her.

Damon must have caught the look because he held up a placating hand. “I’m not from ‘round here, just trying to figure out how things work.”

“I see,” Leliana’s eyes narrowed. “And where are you from exactly? You never did say.”

“Virginia.” Damon shrugged, and Emma had to literally stop herself from banging her head against the war table.

“Really?” Leliana asked coyly, “I’ve… never heard of it.”

“It’s in th’ ass end a nowhere. Bet y’ don’ rec’nize my accent none neither.” Damon grinned with all of his teeth. Emma grimaced at the reminder of the years they had worked with each other to lose that particularly embarrassing trait.

“It's a small village in the Anderfells.” Emma supplied, hoping that would be enough. “Very isolated.”

“Interesting.” The Nightingale hummed. “How did you two meet I wonder? A human woman and a Tal Vashoth?”

“Our mas were frien’s. Grew up t’gether.” He seemed to be playing up the accent just to see Emma’s eye twitch.

“You don't have an accent?” Leliana asked, looking pointedly at her.

“‘I’ve spent a long time trying to rid myself of it.” She glared at Damon, who grinned unapologetically. “It is rather grating on the ears.”

“Leliana, please, this is not a interrogation.” Josephine came to her rescue, offering them an apologetic smile. And she loved the women for it. “Some are calling you the ‘Herald of Andraste,’ and that frightens the Chantry. The remaining Clerics have declared it blasphemy, and we heretics for harboring you.”

“Chancellor Roderick’s doing, no doubt.” Cassandra huffed leaning against the table in exasperation.

“It limits our options. Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the question.” Josie continued.

“Hold on!” Damon raised his hand for them to halt. “Who started this ‘Herald of Andraste’ thing?”

“People saw what you did at the temple, how you stopped the Breach from growing. They have also heard about the woman seen in the rift when we first found you both. They believe that was Andraste.” Cassandra informed them.

“Ah, searching for hope.” Damon muttered. “There’s no stopping that even if we knew for sure it wasn’t Andraste. Which at this point I don’t even know.”  
Emma hummed in agreement. (One couldn't’ completely discount gods and the like when you were magically dragged into a whole new universe.)

“So that leaves us with: what do we do now?”

“There is something you can do.” Leliana stepped forward. “A Chantry Cleric by the name Mother Giselle has asked to speak to you. She is not far, and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance could be invaluable.”

“Worth a shot. Where-”

“You’ll find Mother Giselle tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands near Redcliffe.” Leliana interrupted. Emma thought she might be feeling miffed about Damon’s answer that answered nothing.

“Look for other opportunities to expand the Inquisition’s influence while you’re there.” Cullen advised.

“We need agents to extend our reach beyond this valley, and you’re better suited than anyone to recruit them.” Josephine offered a bracing smile.

“In the meantime, let’s think of other options. I won’t leave this all to the Herald.” Cassandra stated in her usual way of grabbing whatever task presented itself by the ears.

Unlike the game that wasn't the end of it and they discussed several things over the course of two hours, only stopping when Emma’s stomach growled loudly making Cullen chuckle and she felt her face burn in embarrassment. “I can’t imagine you’ve had a proper meal yet.”

“Uh… no, just some crackers.” She mumbled staring down at the war table.

“I’ll have a tray sent to your cabin.” Josephine offered that perfect smile of hers. “You should probably rest, I highly doubt you are fully recovered.”

“Bless you, Josie!” Emma smiled then stopped and asked tentatively. “Uh, may I call you Josie?”

Josephine smiled brightly at her and it was infectious. “Yes, I would like that!”

“Are the arrangements in your cabin to your liking?” Leliana asked just as they turned to leave.

Damon nodded absently as he helped Emma through the door. “Cozy. Keeps th’ cold out, doesn’t leak. Can’t ask for much more. Thanks for it.”

Emma had the distinct feeling that she was missing something as they made their way back out the Chantry doors, thankfully this time hardly anyone stopped to gape at them.

“Ah, Princess! I see you’re letting the earth touch your feet today!” Varric approached them with a smirk.

Damon gave a wide, friendly smile. “Hey! Almost stepped on you there, bud! How’s things?”

“Ah… sky's stopped spitting out demons and Cassandra’s finally ignoring me.” Varric chuckled. “Can't be better.”

“Good to hear.” Damon’s face scrunched up. “I think she’s mad at me but I can’t figure what I did.”

The rogue waved his hand dismissively. “She’s like that with everyone… just be glad she didn't stab you in the book.” He winked at Emma who was grinning at him, no doubt he was hoping to get asked so he could spin another story.

Before Damon could ask though Emma gave Varric her sweetest smile. “Speaking of books, you wouldn't happen to have a copy of ‘Tale of the Champion’, would you?”

Varric’s eyebrows rose in surprise but he smiled widely at her. “Why, princess, I wouldn't have pegged you as a fan.”

“Wait, you write?” Emma could see Damon’s utter delight without even looking at his face. It was the way he shifted forward on his toes, the way he lowered his head like a bull ready to charge. This subject was not going to be avoided.

“Oh I've been known to dabble.” Varric said with false modesty, and Emma snorted. “Okay, okay, I've written a few serials.”

“Serials? Like mysteries or the good stuff?”

“The good-?” The dwarf started questioning before Emma cut him off.

“Both.” She smirked at his expression.

Damon’s smile widened, if that was even possible. “I’d like to read them. I love a good story. I didn’t know they had serials here.”

Emma rolled her eyes and looked down at a bewildered Varric. “By ‘good story’ he means smut.”

Varric’s eyes widened as he took in the qunari. “You?”

Damon’s pale eyes rolled good naturedly. “Me.”

Varric held up his hands and grinned. “Hey, I'm not going to discourage you, it's good for business.” He looked down in thought for a second before continuing. “I have a copy of ‘Tale of the Champion’ with me but I'll have to write my publisher to send me copies of ‘Swords and Shields’, there just isn't a good market for them.”

Emma wiggled her finger at him to move closer then leaned in to whisper in his ear. “They’ll be quite popular in Orlais.” Varric nodded but didn't seem convinced. “You’ll see.” She laughed.

“Something you ‘saw’, princess?” He asked teasingly.

“Yup.” She didn't bat an eye and smiled widely at him. A freezing breeze suddenly hit them and Emma shivered. God, she hated being cold.

Damon, of course, noticed right away. “You’ll have to excuse us, Varric. I need to get Emma back to the cabin. I will be checking back with you about those books though.”

Varric chuckled and waved them away, “yeah, yeah, go on and get princess to bed. Looks like a stiff breeze would knock her over.”

The cabin blessedly had a fire roaring and waiting for them were two large trays and a kettle of what she could only assume was tea. Josephine worked fast and Emma wondered what she could do to thank the ambassador.

Damon helped her sit on the bed and placed a bowl of broth in her hands. When she gave him a look and cast a meaningful glance at the plate piled high with roasted meat and vegetables he laughed. “Doctors orders. No rich foods till we’re sure you can keep it down.”

She pulled a face. “Solas?”

“Solas.” He confirmed and moved to the roast on his plate. They ate and though she hated to admit it, Solas had been correct, after four or five sips of the bland broth her stomach complained with a twist of nausea. “Son of a biscuit.” She looked mournfully at the roasted potato on the other platter.


	5. Chapter 5

It took Emma nearly a week to recover enough to travel to the hinterlands. Damon was disappointed that they didn't seem to have horses to spare and they’d have make a week long hike to reach the Crossroads. Cassandra Varric and Solas accompanied them and for the most part everything went well. He and Emma grew up camping every spring and fall so it was almost like being a kid again.

Emma seemed to enjoy herself but avoided Solas, when the mage would move to walk beside her she’d dart ahead to engage Cassandra or Varric in a conversation. Damon shook his head, whatever Solas’ story was it made Emma uncomfortable but the mage had been kind to her, going out of his way it seemed.

Cassandra had finally stopped glaring at him every time he opened his mouth, which was nice. They even managed a few polite conversations and he actually got her to smile once. Sure, it was because he slipped and fell into a stream, but it was still a smile. He and Varric were bros. He liked the Dwarf’s flippant sarcasm and loved his books. He was halfway through the first book in Swords and Shields and it was so terrible it was good. Varric looked baffled but pleased every time he caught him reading it. Solas and him… were polite.

All in all, it wasn’t a bad trip. Emma was regaining some color and could even walk by herself without help by the time they reached the Crossroads. Scout Harding was cute and even laughed along with his joking flirting before getting down to business on briefing them on the area.

It was decided that they’d head down to the Crossroads early the next morning and rest up what was left of the day. They pitched their camp next to Harding and her scouts and sat back to watch a herd of rams graze on the hill. Cassandra was sharpening her sword by her tent and rolling her eyes at whatever tale Varric was telling her. Solas was off in his tent, probably meditating. Damon flopped down in the grass next to Emma and immediately regretted it as his horns tangled in the grass.

“We need horses.”

“After we build the watchtowers.” She said absently as she turned a page in Tale of Champions.

“Ugh. That’d take weeeks.” He whined and tried to find a way to lay his head down without his horns catching the grass. She hummed in agreement and continued reading.

Damon turned to look at Cassandra, who was staring at Emma with a concerned expression. His horn was stuck in the dirt now.

“Emma, how do you say things such as that so easily? You speak of the future as if it is written in your book.” Cassandra set her sword and whetstone aside. “Even the most powerful seers must meditate and perform rituals for even a clouded glimpse to what may be. But you, you are certain.”

Emma closed the book and looked up at the Seeker with a thoughtful expression. “I don't know if I could explain it, Cass.” She said quietly. “I'm always half expecting to be dragged away for being a madwoman any minute.” She joked lightly. “Solas confirmed I'm not a mage.”

“Indeed I have.” The mage said from behind them, making them both jump. Dude could sneak.

Damon heaved himself up off of the grass and brushed the grass out of his horns. “I dunno what y’all have against mages anyway, but she sure as hell ain’t one. I think the most magical thing she’s ever done is make good cookies without any flour.”

Emma snorted and opened her book. “I would have to agree on that, even I didn't think they'd turn out.”

“You cook, princess?” Varric called over from the fire when he was skinning a fennec he had caught for their supper.

Emma started to answer but Damon beat her to it. “Not really. She set the house on fire once trying to make boiled eggs. I try to keep her out of the kitchen if I can.”

Groaning Emma picked up a small rock a chucked it at him. “I did no such thing you jerk!”

“The stove was smoking! There were shells on the ceiling!” He dodged the rock and moved to hide behind Varric, which probably wouldn’t help since the guy barely came up to his waist.

“Hey, don’t put me in the middle of this.” The dwarf chuckled raising his hands.

Emma rose from the ground and stalked towards them. “One time! It was one dog gone time!”

Damon grinned and got ready to run. “But what about the soup that turned black? Or the time you forgot to put a pan on the stove before you added the meat? Or-”

Emma moved fast and Varric, the little shit, tripped him up when he moved to flee and he fell onto the ground. Emma took advantage and pounced on him, fingers finding his ribs and digging in mercilessly. He shrieked. He was man enough to admit it. No one could stand against EmTi’s tickling. “Take it back!” She crowed through her own laughter.

“Never!” He tried to roll away from her but only managed to bump into Cassandra’s leg. He couldn't see because he was laughing so hard he was crying. “Seeker! Help me!”

Cassandra grinned down at them both and shook her head at their antics. “You are like overgrown children.”

Emma finally let him go and collapsed on her back next to him, laughing her head off. It was good to see her laughing like that. It had been a while. He took a few seconds to catch his breath before tilting his head back to grin upside down at the Seeker. “Y’gotta catch the fun in life and hold onto it with both hands. S’what my dad always said.” He stealthily reached over and poked Emma right in the stomach where she was most ticklish before (successfully this time) rolling to his feet and dashing away.

 

Damon was… Damon hated people right now. Emma had explained some of the prejudices and reasons for the current rebellion, but the templars and mages were fighting right in the fucking middle of a village. The civilians were getting caught in the crossfire, their homes and crops were being destroyed by the fighting. He couldn’t stand for this. Innocent people shouldn’t have to suffer for other people’s warring.

The group seemed to agree with him if the way they all followed him with tight grips on their weapons and grim faces was anything to go by. Varric stayed back with Emma to snipe off the more dangerous mages and magic users while the rest of them charged straight in, cutting down anyone swinging a weapon or staff.

The first time he swung his axe at a person, a human, he missed. He hesitated. During the hesitation the templar threw a vial at him that he had to leap out of the way of. It exploded and set a house on fire. He could hear screaming inside. Kids screaming. His blood felt like it was on fire as he kicked the door in so the villagers could escape and went back after the templar. This time he didn’t hesitate and smashed through the man’s chest in a red haze of rage.

After that it was just a fog of fire, blood, attack, and screaming. Eventually he could hear something talking. The sound was jarring enough after the roar of flames and screams that he paused, panting, to see what it was. Someone, no, the Seeker was standing before him, her sword sheathed and her hands up as she said something again in that horribly calm voice.

“-s over.” She took a cautious step towards him, looking ready to move away at the slightest sight of aggression from him. “You need to breathe, Damon. Calm down.”

He took a shuddering breath in and coughed at the smell of smoke. Was he in shock? He couldn’t tell, but the way he was clutching his ax seemed to make the Seeker nervous so he set it down. His hands were bloody. His- He scrubbed at his hands, trying to scrape the sticky red off of his skin. “I-” His voice cracked. He had blood on his hands. Human blood. A person’s blood.

His legs gave out from under him and he knelt heavily on the ground, still scratching at the blood. His eyes were burning again and he distantly thought it might be the smoke, but water was dripping onto his chest. He was crying. He had human blood on his hands. “I killed them.” Saying the words felt like he was swallowing barbed wire.

“They would have killed you.” Cassandra’s voice was soft as she crouched down next to him, using her water skin to rinse his hands. “You did what you had to. There is no shame in it. You protected these people and defended yourself.” She finished with his hands and tucked her waterskin back into her belt. “This was your first.” She said quietly, it wasn't a question.

He nodded and focused on her brown eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at the carnage around him. A corpse lurked in the corner of his vision. Did he kill them? “I- never a person.”

She nodded and held out a hand as she stood. “Come, help the injured. It will help to keep busy.”

He took another shuddering breath and let her help him to his feet. “What- how can I help?”

Cassandra lead him over to a hut where cots were already set up into a makeshift clinic. Emma was already there, talking to a dark woman in Chantry robes. Her face was carefully blank as the two spoke. Her eyes caught his for a second and she gave him a small strained smile before refocusing back on the mother.

He couldn’t muster the will to smile back as he walked over. He ducked his head respectfully to the robed woman but didn’t trust his voice to speak. He needed to help, to make up for the violence. He bumped Emma’s shoulder gently with his arm. She was going to shatter later. He needed to pull himself together before then.

The few healers that the Inquisition scouts had brought with them all worked tirelessly to help the villagers. There was only one mage healer besides Solas, who also helped where needed. The non-mage healers made him cringe as he saw one begin to reuse bandages without washing them. He stormed over and snatched the dirty rags away from the healer.

“No!” He absently noticed the healer pale and that he was baring his teeth at the poor woman. “You always boil it before you reuse it! And wash your hands between patients for gods’ sake!” He was not above using his size to get his way, and dragged every healer, even the mage, over to a pot of boiling water that Emma had arranged to show them how to sanitize their tools and wash their hands. A few tried to argue, but he just snarled at them until they obeyed.

It was exhausting and took every scrap of his attention to make sure they didn’t try to sneak behind his back with unwashed hands. By the time he finally had to sit down and eat before he fainted, the mage healer was convinced at least. She waved a hand over soldier’s wound and looked up at him with an odd expression before nodding and going to wash her hands. The first time he hadn’t had to remind them. He sat heavily into a chair and muttered to himself. “Gonna lose half our men to dumbassery.”

“Where did you train?”

He startled and glanced up at Solas. “Dude, you keep sneakin’ up on me like that I’m gonna stick a bell on y’.”

Solas chuckled and moved to stand next to him. “You used healing techniques that many have never seen, I was just wondering where or who you learned from?”

Damon shoved a piece of bread into his mouth and squinted in thought. “I dunno, to be honest. Emma’s been on my ass about hygiene since I was a kid. Wash your hands before and after you eat, after you piss, before and after you touch something injured. Was just how I growed up.” He shrugged.

“I see.” Solas hummed thoughtfully. “Another effect of her ‘gift’ as it were?”

“Maybe. Seems like common sense when you’ve always done it.” He shrugged again and spoke around the bread in his mouth. “Gotta keep things clean so you don’t carry infection from one person to the next.”

“That is a wise assumption.” The mage said and handed him a vile. “For dreamless sleep.”

He took it with a grimace. “Thanks. Emma’s gonna need it.”

Solas frowned and cast a glance over to the fire where she was currently reading the book Varric gave her. “She is doing remarkably well it seems.”

Damon glanced over at her and noted her white knuckled grip on the book and the way her eyes weren’t moving they way they would be if she was following the lines of text. “Not if you know her.”

Solas nodded, “There should be enough for the both of you if she desires to take it.” He gave a frustrated shake of his head. “I would be surprised if she trusted anything I would offer.”

He studied the mage for a moment before slowly replying. “I appreciate your help.”

The mage nodded and moved off to where his and Varric's tent was pitched. Cassandra sat by the fire next to Emma, sharpening her sword. Damon grimaced. He probably should sharpen his ax as well. He picked up the blade where it leaned by his seat and saw it was remarkably clear of blood. He moved towards Cassandra and Emma.

“Hey, y’gotta whetstone I could borrow?”

Cassandra nodded and handed him hers. “I am finished.”

“Thanks. And thanks for…” He gestured vaguely at the village lost in the dark and then at his own head. “Y’know.”

The Seeker nodded and clapped a hand to his shoulder before rising from her seat and stretching. “We should sleep while we can, we have much to do tomorrow.” She sheathed her sword and started towards her tent. “Goodnight.”

“Good night.” He watched her leave for a few seconds before taking the whetstone to his ax and sharpening it efficiently. Emma’s ma had shown him how to sharpen knives when he could barely walk. Once finished, he grabbed Emma’s shoulders and gently but firmly stood her up. “C’mon. Bed time.”

Emma paled. “I'm good...just let me-”

“Nope. C’mon. Solas gave me some Dreamless Sleep type potion deal for us both.” He squeezed her shoulders comfortingly and half pushed her towards their tent. “I know- I Know. But we have to rest.”

It took some convincing but Emma finally took the offered potion and grimaced as she swallowed half the vial down. “Ugh….would it kill him to make it taste less like a sweaty armpit? That's just terrible.”

Domain chuckled and downed the rest before crawling into his bedroll. Emma scooted hers closer to his and he immediately wrapped a comforting arm around her as she tucked her head under his chin. She shuddered after a second and the tears he knew she had been holding back all day finally fell. She sobbed until the potion took over and she drifted off to sleep. It took him a little longer before his own eyelids grew heavy and he hoped Solas was right about it working before sleep claimed him.

 

 

They had to stay in the hinterlands three weeks before they could return the Haven and Damon would be happy if he never set eyes on it again.

He and Emma focused on the village, hunting for enough food to keep them fed for several weeks and locating abandoned supplies (Emma thankfully knowing exactly where to find them) before they set out to find Dennet the Horse Master. After taking care of a demon controlled wolf pack and promising watchtowers, they got their horses. Emma even got the ornery old man to come to Haven along with the horses. They convinced a cult to help the refugees at the Crossroads, got a breathing potion for a woman with asthma, and closed all the rifts in the area. Each rift left Emma weak and exhausted so Damon would have to carry her until they stopped for the night, but it was nowhere near as bad as before. She was able to recover after a meal and a long night’s sleep. Redcliffe village had closed its gates and refused them entry. Honestly, he didn't blame them what with the Templars and mages fighting as they were with no care for casualties. Redcliffe was protecting their own.

They continued to be attacked by the Templars and mages throughout their stay until they finally had to hunt down the groups to give the area a bit of peace. Because the potion Solas had given him could not be taken often, Damon woke drenched in sweat from nightmares more times than he could count. Emma didn't fare much better; he found her already awake most nights, staring at the fire or brushing out the horses. They often sat together in grim silence, their company scant protection from the haunting memories of blood on their weapons.

With horses, the trip back to Haven took only three days as opposed to the week it had taken to get there. Dennet had given him a gelding that looked like a cross between a thoroughbred and a draft horse, with a gray dappled coat. It was strong enough to carry his qunari bulk and calm enough that Damon could just let it follow the group with the reins loose in his hands. He called it MoFo to Emma’s amused horror and everyone else’s confusion.

Emma snagged a mare that she fondly named. ‘Carmel’ because of its coat. Dennet didn't give the horses names, and Emma had pushed the rest of them to give their mounts names. Cassandra relented after being badgered about it for a few days and called her seal brown gelding ‘Prince’ just to shut her up. Varric had gotten a red-roan pony to accommodate his height that he named ‘Dopey’, making Emma cackle in glee and Damon shook his head with a grin knowing where her thoughts went.

Solas held out the longest before deciding on ‘Elgar’alas'nir’ for his red dunn. Of course nobody knew what it meant and when Varric asked, the mage refused to tell, but Damon saw Emma’s knowing smile when he said it.

They arrived in Haven shortly after midday, advisers meeting them at the gates. “Herald.” Leliana greeted them and chuckled when Emma gave her a glare. “It's good that you returned.”

“It's good to be back.” She said sliding down from the saddle and rubbing Carmel’s neck. The mare leaned into the attention. “Mother Giselle make it here yet?”

While they spoke Damon dismounted and leaned his elbow against MoFo’s back, watching the conversation with intent eyes.

“Mother Giselle arrived last week.” Josephine chirped happily. “And master Dennet sent a raven with his intent to be here with horses for the Inquisition in two weeks.”

“You did well.” Leliana acknowledged. “Cassandra sent reports of all you were able to accomplish. I must say I'm impressed.”

“I just helped.” Emma deflected and smiled back at Damon. “Damon did most of the work.”

He smiled and tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Jus’ did what was needed, s’all. Do y’all need some’in from us? I’d love to have a bath but duty firs’ an’ all.”

“Indeed.” Leliana studied him for a moment through narrowed eyes. “We can discuss things after you've all rested.”

“I will have baths ready for you all in your cabins.” Josephine smiled. “And a hot meal.”

“Josephine,” Emma rushed to hug the women. “Have I told you that you're my favorite?”

Damon made an offended noise in his throat. “Hey! I’m s’posed t’be your fav’rite!”

Emma stuck her tongue out at him playfully. “She’s getting me a bath.”

He paused and wagged his head consideringly. “Good point. Ms. Josephine, you are also my fav’rite.” He grinned at the lady and bowed with a hand on his chest.

Josephine giggled and pried Emma's arms from around her. “I'll remember that.” She laughed.

Cullen, who stood behind the women, chuckled. “Well, since you don't seem to need me I'll return to my duties.” He ducked into a bow. “Lady Emma, Damon.” He then strode off to where the troupes were training.

Damon followed his path with thoughtful eyes before jerking his chin in a nod and making a soft noise in his chest. He’d need to talk to Varric about getting a few books about Qunari and templars. He was missing something and couldn’t tell if he needed to be offended or not yet. He’d try to ask Emma, but Solas was hovering around her like a horsefly and he didn’t trust the elf not to pop up in the middle of a conversation he’d rather not be overheard.

Josephine was true to her word and there were tubs filled with steaming water waiting for them in their cabin after they’d stabled their horses. They hung a sheet between the wooden tubs to offer each other privacy and soaked until their fingers looked like prunes.

“Ugh…..I'm never leaving again.” Emma mumbled as they relaxed.

“Water’ll get cold.” Damon was having trouble fitting all of him into the tub, but it was still nice to feel truly clean.

“I wish I was a mage.” Emma thought aloud. “Then I'd just keep it hot.”

Damon hummed in agreement. “That’d be nice. We could even warm up the water on the road then. Hey, d’ya think you could ask Josephine to send me some paper and a pen? I need to write some stuff down to discuss with them.”

“M’sure she’d swing it.”

Damon smiled at the slip of Emma’s original accent. She must really be feeling relaxed if she wasn’t keeping her normal rigid control of her pronunciation. He was beginning to feel a bit cramped in the tub and stepped out to dry off and wrap and pin a length of fabric around his waist in a makeshift kilt. He wasn’t getting back into that armour till it had been thoroughly scrubbed. “Hey, I gotta go see a guy about a dog. I’ll be back in a few.”

“Later.”

“Don’t fall asleep and drown,” he called over his shoulder as he exited the cabin and shut the door behind him. He wandered around for a bit until he found Varric sitting by a fire and writing on a foldable desk. “Hey, short stack. I was wondering if you could get some books for me.” He kept his voice low, but not suspicious whisper low.

“Ah, I was wondering what was blocking the sun. What kind of books are you after?” The dwarf set aside his pen and smirked.

“Qunari history and culture, books on etiquette in all the major cultures, y’know, stuff to help me not make Emma look stupid.”

“Ah, is this about whatever has Leliana in a twist over you?”

Damon shrugged innocently. “I know nothing whatsoever ‘bout that.”

“Right. And I believe you.” Varric rolled his eyes good naturedly. “I’ll turn up what I can and send it your way, if you tell me why Leliana looks so frustrated when you walk away.”

Damon turned the deal over in his head and decided it was worth it. “She doesn’t like that even though I answered her completely honestly, she still doesn’t know the answer.”

Varric considered him for a moment before laughing. “Kinda like you just did there. Well, deal’s a deal and I gotta say, seeing her fussing over maps is rather entertaining. I’ll get those books for you. I have one on Qunari culture on hand, but the rest I’ll send to you as I find them.”

Damon accepted the book gratefully and bantered a bit more before heading to the Chantry to find Josephine. She was in her office looking over some papers but she smiled politely and put them aside when he knocked and stuck his head into her office door. “Can I have a moment of your time, Lady Josephine?”

“Of course, Damon.” She invited him in with a wave of her hand, directing him to the seat across from her desk. “What can I do for you? Were the baths delivered as ordered?”

“Yes, and they were perfect. You have our gratitude. It’s pretty great to feel clean after a month on the road. I did have a couple favors to ask of you.”

“Oh? And what might those be?”

“Firstly, I was hopin’ I might have some paper and pens. I have an idea that I need to jot down. It would save the lives of a lot of our soldiers.”

“Easily done.” She smiled and pulled a stack of paper from her desk along with a box that he assumed contained ink and pens. “And the other favor?”

He sat straighter in the chair and compressed his lips into a line as he thought how to word his request. “You’re an ambassador, you’re used to dealin’ with all sorts of people and not offendin’ them. I was wondering if you could teach me some of them city type manners. What y’all are doin’ is important and I dont’ wanna fuck things up.” He bit his lip for affect, not even having to try hard to project ‘nervous country boy’.

Josephine looked at him, astonished. “I… yes, of course!” She beamed at him. “I'm just surprised you asked. I'll be happy to assist you in any way I can.”

He grinned at her. “Thank you! I’ll owe you one. I see people giving me looks and I don’t think it’s always cuz of the horns, y’know. I might be… unpolished, but I ain’t dumb.”

Josephine sent him away with two books on Fereldon and Orlesian etiquette with the promise to quiz him on it once he’d finished them, as well as an invitation to dinner in a few days so he could practice using the right forks.

He tucked the stack of books and papers under one arm and stalked back through the Chantry, trying to get back to the cabin quickly so he could start studying. He caught sight of Cassandra’s boots sticking out from behind a tapestry and stopped to say hello.

“Oh, hello.” Cassandra started and shoved something into her pocket. “I did not expect to see you here.”

Damon took in her position half tucked behind a tapestry and wondered what she was trying to hide. “I was jus’ gettin’ some homework from Jos’phine. She’s gonna help me not be such a dumbass.”

Cassandra snorted. “Ah, Maker help her.”

He smirked. “I’d be offended if I didn’t agree. Y’ take care, Seeker.” He tossed a two fingered salute and left the chantry. A soldier not wearing Inquisition colors approached him with an offer to see a mercenary group in action so he could consider hiring them. It was an interesting proposition and he did his best to be polite before heading directly to the cabin. He barged in and set his stack of books by his side of the bed. “Hey EmTi, y’know anything about some mercs called The Chargers?”

“Yeah! They’re the mercenaries that follow The Iron Bull. We want him on our side. You’ll love him.” She answered from the other side of the sheet still hanging from the ceiling. He didn't’ think she’d still be in the water, it would have gone cold long ago, but he wasn’t about to move the sheet and find out.

“Ah. Some guy named Krem said we need to go to the Storm Coast to meet them. Wanted to get your Seeing on it.”

Emma yanked the sheet aside and glared at him. “Tell me that’s not a thing.”

“No can do. Word is the Herald of Andraste has visions from Andraste herself that allow her to know the future.” He grinned and sat at the small table in the corner and pulled out the pen box.

“How? I’ve only said things in front of the main party?” Emma flopped onto the bed and buried her face into the pillows.

“You stopped three ambushes and correctly guessed where half a dozen super secret hidden things were in front of dozens of soldiers, Em.” He practiced using the dip pen for a second before scribbling notes down as fast as he could think of them.

There was a knock at the door and Emma jumped up to open the door as a heavily pregnant elf came in balancing two loaded down trays. “Here let me help with that.” She said, quickly grabbing one of the trays.

The poor elf looked flustered. “Th-thank you, m’lady.”

Emma frowned as she tested the weight of the tray. “Did you carry these all the way from the tavern?”

“Y-yes mum.” The woman looked pale.

Damon set the pen aside and took the second tray from the elf with a slight frown. “If’n y’ don’ min’ me askin’, how far along ar’ya?”

The woman started to fidget. “E-eight months, messere.”

He scowled and the woman’s eyes widened. “Y’shouldn’t be carrying heavy shit like this that far along. Y’ gotta rest.” He hooked his foot around his chair and pulled it towards her. “Here, take a seat.” He set the tray on the table and poured a glass of water from the pitcher and handed it to her. She sat there, pale and clutching the glass under his considering gaze.

“Hey.” He said softly, moving back to sit in the second chair to make himself smaller. “We’re not tryn’a get you in trouble. We’re just worried ‘bout the baby and you is all. Y’ look like you’re workin’ too hard.”

Emma looked upset as she grabbed a coat Josephine had given her and shrugged it on. “Do you work at the tavern or for the ambassador?” She asked the elf quietly.

The small woman swallowed audibly. “Flissa gives me work where she can.” She lost more color as she seemed to guess where Emma was going. “Please don't cause a fuss, mum. Flissa’s only one who will hire a knife-ear.”

Emma paused with her hand over the door. “I'm not going to endanger your job.” She smiled sadly at the woman. “What's your name may I ask?”

“Frya.” She whispered.

“Will you be okay here with Damon for a bit, Frya?” Emma looked over at Damon. Her smile belied the anger in her eyes.

Damon quirked the corner of his mouth up in a sympathetic smile. “Just your friendly neighborhood oxman wantin’ you to rest your feet and drink some water over here.”

The woman gave Emma a tired nod after a moment and Emma was out the door. He really felt bad for whoever she was fixing to tear into. Meanwhile, he coaxed the women to eat a roll spread with a soft cheese from one of the trays,and even drink some tea. He also learned that her husband had worked and died at the conclave, leaving her seven months pregnant and trying to provide for herself and the baby.

Fifteen minutes later, Emma was back, dragging Josephine and Solas behind her, and smiling brightly at Frya. “I brought a friend of mine to check on your baby, if that’s ok?”

The poor woman looked wide eyed at the mage and ambassador. “Th…. uh… yes m’lady. Thank you.”

Josephine smiled kindly at the woman and went to sit next to her. “The herald has expressed her desire to have a personal maid.” She said sweetly. “Would you be willing to fill that position?”

Damon looked over at Emma and gave her a approving nod that made her smile back gratefully at him.

“M-me?” Frya stammered, eyes darting between the ambassador and Damon, who smiled at her encouragingly.

“Yeah, you’ve been doin’ great so far even with your other jobs. We think you’d be a great asset.” Damon leaned back in his chair and laced his fingers together behind his neck.

“But the babe?” She her hand went protectively to her rounded stomach.

“Will be just fine.” Emma smiled and knelt down next to her. “When it's born you can have a few weeks to rest and focus on being a mother. Josephine's arranged for a room to be added beside our cabin for your own. How does that sound?”

The woman nodded her head and began to cry, Emma moved forward and wrapped her in her arms.

Josephine smiled softly at the two and made her way to the door. “I'll make all the necessary arrangements.” She promised as she left.

Damon looked away so he wouldn’t join in. He had always been a sympathetic crier. Instead, he looked at Solas, who was watching Emma with a bewildered curiosity.

“Now,” Emma said as Frya finally stopped crying. “If it's alright I'd like my friend to take a look and see how your baby’s doing, if that's ok?” When Frya nodded Emma looked up at Solas. “Would you?”

“Of course, da’len.” Solse moved to kneel in front of Frya and gently placed his hands on her stomach. “It will tingle a little.” He closed his eyes and his hands began to glow in a soft blue light, making Frya gasp in surprise. After a minute Solas opened his eyes and stepped back. “A healthy boy, but you need to eat more meats or cheeses, your body is struggling to feed both yourself and the child.”

Damon straightened in his chair. This was something he knew about, he hadn't tagged along to his mom's midwifery appointments for nothing. He pulled a clean piece of paper towards him and started scrawling a sort of grocery list of everything he remembered his mom telling pregnant people to eat.

“Thank you, Solas.” Emma said as she rose and went to show him out. “I really appreciate it.”

“You're welcome, da’len.” Solas dipped his head and gave her a small smile. “I was pleased to give the favor. Goodnight.”

Emma shut the door behind him then leaned heavily against it, blowing out a tense breath.

“What was that about?” Damon asked, glancing over his shoulder at her.

“Crap on a cracker! I owe him a favor.”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

They were only in Haven three days before they had to leave for Val Royouax to meet with the Chantry leaders there. They were supposed to have been resting, but Emma had seen Damon constantly writing notes as he read the books Josephine and Varric had given him and he had also taken his handwritten first aid guide to Cullen and somehow convinced him to make it part of every soldier and healer’s training. She didn’t think he rested for a moment, but then, they were both waking up in tears from dreams of blood and screams, so maybe he was better off for it. 

She’d finished Varric’s book about Hawke; things were bad. Hawke was a female rogue, her sister Bethany was killed escaping Lothering, and Carver died in the deep roads. When the Qunari attacked Kirkwall, she had handed Isabella over them instead of fighting the Arishok. When they had killed Fenris’ ex-master, she had allowed him to murder his own sister in his rage. She’d allowed Merrill to finish working on the eluvian, ending in the whole Sabra Clan being wiped out. Every choice made had Emma cringing. But the worst thing of all, she’d sided with the Templars in the annulment of the circles and had executed Anders for blowing up the Chantry.

She was almost scared to ask for a book on the fifth Blight, but she knew she needed to know what choices had been made. All she did know was that Anora ruled as queen of Fereldon alone, which didn't bode well

They reached Val Royouax within four days of hard riding. Luckily there had been no rifts to close along the way. They stabled their horses at an Inn just inside the city's gates and rented rooms before they headed for the square to meet the Reverend Mothers.

As they were crossing the bridge to the main market, as if on cue, a noble women wearing a ridiculous looking mask took one look at them before gasping and rushing away. 

“Just a guess Seeker, but I think they’ve heard of us.” Varric whispered jokingly.

“I see them, Varric.” Cassandra growled back at him.

One of Leliana's scouts met them just before they entered the square and briefed Cassandra on the situation. The Mothers had asked the Templars to the talks. “They think the Templars will protect them from the Inquisition.” The scout reported.

“From us?” Cassandra fumed, her hands making fists. She took a breath and turned to Emma. “Are we in any danger from this?”

Emma shrugged, “Not that I've seen, but things are always subject to change.”

Cassandra nodded and turned back to the scout. “Return to Haven and inform Leliana… in case we are delayed.”

They continued through the square, which was packed with people, but the crowd parted like the butter under a hot knife when they saw Cassandra in her Seeker armor approaching. 

“Good people of Val Royouax, hear me!” The Revered Mother began her speech, which Emma mostly tuned out and instead studied the crowd around them. Most were nobles, made obvious by their extravagant and eccentric clothing and masks. She spotted the Templars off to the side getting ready for not-Seeker Lucius’ grandstanding.

Damon stepped up next to Emma and looked hard at the mother. “Do you even hear yourselves? The Inquisition only wants to close the breach! Help us stop this madness before it's too late!”

Emma cocked her head at Damon having dropped his accent after milking it for over a month. And no swearing. Huh. Maybe Josephine was actually working a miracle.

“It is already too late.” The mother said gesturing to the Templars that were now marching their way. “The Templars have returned to the Chantry-”

Emma nudged Damon’s arm and jerked her chin at the mother then looked meaningfully at the young Templar headed straight for her. He immediately headed directly for the templar, reaching them just in time to catch their punch, wrapping his hand tightly around their wrist and yanking their fist to a shaking halt right by her head. Shocked screams and shouts broke out among the crowd and he shoved the Templar back away from the Mother, moving between them and her. 

Not-Lord Seeker Lucius marched forward and sneered at Damon, (likely not happy that his little plan had been interrupted) and turned to the Templar. “Still yourself, they are beneath us.”

The Templar stepped back obediently as Damon shoved his arm away and glared at the demon-man-thing. “What did you hope to accomplish by ordering an attack on an old women? Are we supposed to be impressed?” Ironically the women in question was now cowering behind Damon for protection from the very people she declared would protect her.

“That was not for your benefit.” He snarled at Damon and began to walk away. Cassandra weaved through the crowd to catch his attention. 

“Lord Seeker, we-”

“You will not address me!” He snapped and shoved past her. His eyes slid to Emma and she immediately felt like she needed several baths. “I'm surprised at you, raising a puppet order, with a puppet herald claiming to be sent from Andraste!”

Emma didn't give him the satisfaction of addressing him and looked to the Templars behind him. “Templars, one of your own stands with us. The commander of our forces is Knight Captain of Kirkwall. Join us as he did. Help us close the breach.”

“Enough,” not-Lucius roared.

A dark Templar stepped forward and Emma immediately felt her heart clench. “But Lord Seeker, what if Andraste did send them?” It was Barris. She had rarely ever saved the Templars in her playthroughs but had done it a few times just to make sure she had done everything in the game. He was a one of the rare good ones and he was going to die if she sided with the Mages.

A senior Templar stepped up and grabbed Barris by his arm, yanking him back. “You are called to a higher purpose, do not question it!”

Emma swallowed thickly… and vaguely heard the demon declare Val Royouax unfit for their protection… Barris was going to die… she wanted to stay on script… if she changed anything it could change everything. She looked at Damon in distress and unslung her bow from her back as she made her decision and the Templars started to march. She saw him ready his ax from the corner of her eye and move towards her.

“ENVY!” She shouted as loud as she could. The demons head snapped in her direction and its eyes burrowed into her, as their other companions looked at her in shock. “DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK AWAY?” She stretched out her arms in mock invitation, even though they trembled knowing what she was fixing to unleash. “YOU WANT TO BE ME? I’M RIGHT HERE!”

Envy snarled and looked around at the Templars behind him. “This mad woman is the so called herald?”

“What in Maker’s name are you doing?” Cassandra hissed as she moved to stand next to her.

Emma ignored her, she was in too deep to quit now. “Templars,” she addressed the men as she notched an arrow to her bow, feeling the crowd tense and move as far away as the walls would allow. “Have you fallen so far as to allow a DEMON to lead you?”

Some of the younger Templars looked confused, Sir Barris looked absolutely horrified, but the Templar that had berated him for questioning orders glared at her darkly along with four others.

“You. Are. Mad!” Envy growled but Emma could see its control begin to waver, as it body began to quake, struggling to hold its form.

“Am I?” Emma laughed, not sure how she was able to. “Let's just test that. Seeker Cassandra, cast a Cleanse.”

“Emma-” Cassandra began but she cut her off. 

“Now, Cass!” 

Cassandra snapped her mouth shut and stepped forward hesitantly before raising her hand in front of her and focusing on a Cleanse. Emma held her breath as white light enveloped Envy, making the demon twist inhumanly and the form of the Lord Seeker fall away completely.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!” The demon screamed as it twisted into its true form, causing screams of horror from the crowds. It’s pale, slimy, elongated limbs sprawled out from it’s twisted torso and it’s gaping maw screeched deafeningly as it scrabbled towards them with too many limbs. “YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!”  
Emma felt bile rise in her throat as it bent it’s joints unnaturally to raise to it’s full height but she loosed an arrow directly into it’s grotesque neck. It didn't slow down.  
“I WILL HAVE YOUR FACE!” It reached for her and Emma felt Damon’s hand wrap around her arm and yank her behind him.

He swung at the demon and Emma watched with her heart in her throat as Envy dodged his attack. But then there was no time to panic. There were arrows to shoot and civilians to shove into doorways and attacks to dodge. Emma could feel Varric herding her back away from the screaming monster as they loosed bolt after bolt into Envy and the lesser demons that revealed themselves. Cassandra and Damon were a whirlwind of destruction and some of the templars managed to overcome their shock and join the battle. 

A lesser demon charged her and Emma tripped as she tried to move away. It was on top of her in an instant, smiling maliciously down at her as it moved to strike. A shield suddenly was rammed into the demons side and a sword ran it through before it could recover itself.

Emma stared wide eyed at her rescuer as he held out his hand to her. “My Lady Herald!”

“Sir Barris.” Emma grasped the man's hand. He pulled her to her feet then dashed off to fight Envy. Who was now bleeding green tinted blood profusely and way out numbered between Cassandra, Solas, Damon, Varric, and all the Templars that now fought with them.

Emma watched as Cassandra made the killing blow, using her shield to brutally bash in its head. 

Now that the fighting was over the square was deathly quiet as Templars and Chantry Mothers and sisters stared directly at her, making her stomach twist. Damon silently moved to her side and let the head of his ax drop to the ground so he could lean on the handle in exhaustion. 

After a good thirty seconds of staring, it was Barris who broke from the others to drop to a knee. “Lady Herald.” Others quickly followed, dropping to their knees in reverence, adding to the churning in her stomach.

She looked over the ranks of kneeling templars and thought to herself, “What did I do?” 

Damon seemed to sense her distress and took a step forward. “Templars!” He addressed them as they rose to their feet. “The Herald has risked her life to uncover the demons among you. I was told that you all took vows to protect. Is this true? Templars are feared all over because of this godsforsaken war. I’ve seen villages burned in your name. What are you going to do about it?” He gave the templars closest to him a hard look before continuing his speech just a bit softer so they had to lean forward to hear him. “If you want to be known as protectors again, join us. Not as templars, but as people doing what is right. Protect the ones affected by this breach and this war.” 

Sir Barris was the first to unsheathe his sword and stab it into the ground, kneeling once again to swear his sword and his life to the Inquisition’s cause. Others followed his example. The rest seemed to pass in a blur. She remembered Barris promising to meet them at Haven after he returned to Therinfal Redoubt to rescue as many untainted Templars as he could after she warned him about the red lyrium Envy was pushing them to take.

After it was all said and done she leaned heavily against a wall for support as her head swam. She just felt lost. She messed up the story. None of this was supposed to happen. What about the mages? Fiona would never approach them now that the templars were swearing loyalty to her. They would die.

A flash of a familiar hat in the corner of her eye had her turning towards it. It was him, just as pale and lanky as in the game. “Cole!” She called to him.

The spirit boy paused and looked at her oddly with pale eyes. “You know me, but don't.” His head tilted and he muttered to himself. “Head spinning. Gut clenching. ‘It’s all wrong now, he’s early, changed, help, he can help.” He suddenly appeared inches front of her. “Yes. How can I help?”

Emma hugged the spirit boy which made him startle. “Fiona! The mage leader, can you find her?” She stepped back and looked at him pleadingly. “We need to talk to her! Quickly before she flees! Please!”

Cole turned in a circle before running off down a walkway. Emma chased after him and heard the heavy footfalls of Damon and the others following after her and calling her name but she wouldn't stop, she couldn't. Cole took them around several abrupt turns before stopping with his hand splayed against a door. “She’s here. She’s frightened.” His eyes glazed over and became unfocused. “Panicked. Where can we turn now? So many counting on me. They were our only hope.”

“Hey, princess, what's wrong?” Varric huffed as they caught up with her.

Emma didn't answer, instead she grabbed Damon’s arm and tried to shove him towards the door. It was like trying to shove a wall. “You need to talk to her, she’s the leader of the free mages. Let her know she still has options with the Inquisition. She’s not going to trust me now.”

He nodded and ducked into the room leaving her with Cassandra, Solas and Varric looking at her as if she’d grown another head.

Emma crossed her arms self-consciously and leaned against the wall to wait. She suddenly felt a tickle behind her eyes and snapped her head around to glare at Cole. “I’m not going to forget you.”

Cole cocked his head. “Stubborn. I need to remember everything.” He nodded and sat cross-legged on the walkway. 

Varric eyed the boy curiously but spoke to Emma. “I thought you said we wouldn’t be in any danger, Princess.”

Emma rubbed her eyes. “We weren’t supposed to be. I- I changed things. I changed things I probably shouldn’t have.” 

“What do you mean by that?” Cassandra frowned. “You exposed the demon and saved the templars.”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t supposed to. I don’t even know how this is going to change things. I don’t know what will be true anymore because of this.” Her lungs felt tight as she gestured to Cole. “He’s not even supposed to be here yet, he’s not supposed to be here until-” She stopped talking and hugged herself.

“If you weren’t supposed to expose Envy because it might change things so much, why did you do it.” Varric sounded oddly gentle.

“I couldn’t let Barris walk away knowing he would die if I did.” 

She jumped as Damon opened the door and came out, looking relieved and tired. “She wants to meet with us in Redcliffe to talk.” 

Cassandra bristled but Emma spoke over her impending outrage. “Even with the templars?”

He nodded and she let out a soft, “Oh. Maybe we can save everybody.”


	7. Chapter 7

Damon was happy to get out of Val Royouax after the two days they’d stayed, for all its glamour it was stuffy and rigid. He’d never been one for a lot of polite scripts and tight suits.

They had found a note in their room at the inn and Emma had excitedly demanded they follow the clues. Damon hadn’t minded one bit. It was good to get back into his armour and head off down they alleys. The noble had been pompous and irritating and Damon actually let out a shocked laugh when the tiny blonde shot him. It wasn’t that he was happy about another person dying, it was just… shocking. The laugh seemed to endear him to the archer and her scattered speech about protecting the little people endeared her to him. And then she told them about stealing the guards breeches. The voice in the back of his head that sounded like Josephine and Emma yelled at him to behave and give a proper speech, but instead he grinned and said, “Oh, we are gonna have so much fun.”

Emma immediately groaned and buried her face in her hands, “This can only end badly.”

Then they had to go to a party, a very boring party. Well, it was boring until an idiot challenged them to a dual, only to be frozen by a woman in Maleficent horns. At first he thought the enchanter was bad ass, but after speaking with her he discovered that she supported the circles. It was only because of Emma's insistence that her connections would be of use to the inquisition that he offered for her to join them at Haven. No way did he want to travel with the woman.

And then it was off to the Storm Coast to meet this “Bull”. Sera elected to meet them in Haven instead of traveling back with them so she could take care of some “little people things”. The strange boy, Cole disappeared not long after they spoke to Fiona, but not before Emma got the boy to promise to came to Haven. So it was just Varric, Cassandra, and Solas with them again. Five days of travel, they fell into a routine of sorts. Emma and Varric and sometimes himself hunted for supper, Cassandra always picked the campsite and Solas set wards every night to alert them to danger.

The coast was cold and windy and well, stormy. Scout Harding met them at the base camp that the Inquisition had rushed to set up in preparation for their arrival. She briefed them on the situation. Apparently they had lost contact with one of their scouting parties and there was a group in the area calling themselves the Blades of Hissarien that were being hostile towards them. The peppy dwarf even playfully flirted with him after the briefing was over with. 

They were scheduled to meet the Chargers they next day, giving them all time for a much needed rest. As they had done in the hinterlands, they set up next to Harding’s camp and just relaxed. Well he relaxed, Emma talked Cassandra into teaching her how to fight with a sword. “Just in case I don't have my bow.” She had said.

The Seeker seemed to have approved and the next thing he knew he was watching Emma getting her ass kicked. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Cassandra was relentless and even though she held back, Emma couldn't hope to land a blow. After being knocked on her backside more times then he could bother to count, Emma gave up and limped over to where he was sprawled next to the fire.

“That's it, if I lose my bow I'm dead.” She huffed as she collapsed beside him, breathing heavily. “I should have never dropped out of karate in fourth grade!” She lamented.

He laughed. “I shudder t’ think of how scary you’d be if you’d stuck with it.” 

Emma grinned. “I'd terrify the enemy with my awesome ‘wax on wax off’ skills.”

He snorted and stretched. “I’m real glad you never were able to talk me inta that shit. I’m too honest for it. I like to just straight up punch a dude and call it a day.”

“That’s fine for you to say mister ‘I could crush you with my little pinky’.” She lowered her voice ridiculously in what he assumed was supposed to be an impression of him.

“S’not my fault you’re two hairs shy of being a flea.” He accepted her playful punch to the stomach with a grin.

Varric happened to be walking by at that moment and patted his head then held his hand out as if measuring himself before throwing a sharp glance at Damon. “I should be offended.”

Damon widened his eyes innocently but couldn’t hide the grin. “Don’ know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout, short stack.”

Emma took that opportunity to shake out her marked hand, probably thinking he wouldn't see. “Hey, you ok?”

Emma gave him a wide smile and stood. “Yup, I'm good.”

“EmmaTi.” He warned, grabbing her hand. He saw her trying to cover her wince. “How long?”

Emma shrugged. “It's fine.” He raised his eyebrows at her and she groaned. “It's not that bad ok?”

“Princess,” Varric shook his head at her. “You know you could have told Chuckles and he would have healed it for you again, right?”

Emma rolled her eyes. “I don't need to be healed.”

“Are you sure about that?” The dwarf looked at her worriedly. “You know Chuckles will shit a kitten that you didn't go tell him about it.”

“Well Solas can howl at the moons for all I care.” She huffed crossing her arms.

“Interesting choice of words, Da’len.” Solas's tenor voice commented from behind them all, making Emma visibly jump and then slap a hand firmly over her mouth.

“Solas, there is a bell in your future!” Damon joked, slapping a hand dramatically to his heart, making the mage snort.

“If your hand pains you I would gladly heal it.” Solas stepped into the glow cast by the fire.

“Nothanksimgoodjustgoingtobednowbye!” Emma mumbled then dashed, almost dived, into their tent.

Varric shook his head and looked over at Solas. “Whatever did you do to make her scared of you, Chuckles?”

Solas gave the dwarf one of his non smiles. “I fear it may be something I have not yet done, Master Tethras.” His voice was low and thoughtful.

Damon hummed noncommittally. Honestly, he still didn’t know why she avoided him but still insisted he was important and to be nice. It wasn’t like they had the time alone for him to ask without someone popping up with ears wide open. “Well, if i know Emma it’ll come out in a suitably dramatic moment.” He stood up and dusted grass off of his backside. “Well, good night, y’all.” He tossed a peace sign at them and ducked into the tent to rest. Tomorrow he’d get to meet this bull guy.

 

 

They set out early the next morning to find the Chargers. It was raining again but it wasn’t hard to follow the sounds of fighting to a beach. A group of people were efficiently and brutally mowing down another group of people. It was impressive if a bit worrying.

“Slavers.” Varric supplied, saying the word like it was poison in his mouth.

Damon immediately felt a lot better about how fast they were being slaughtered. They didn’t even get close enough to throw a shot in before the Chargers were checking each other for wounds and wiping their weapons off. Damon spotted Krem and headed for him.

“Well, we made it! Gotta say, I’m impressed.” 

Krem smiled. “Glad to hear it. Here’s the boss, The Iron Bull.”

Damon looked up at the qunari and lost his tongue for a good few seconds as he took in the man’s massive size and muscles and horns and- wow. “Fuck me and call it a date, you’re impressive!” 

Emma covered her face with her hands, Cassandra glared at him, and The Iron Bull laughed, “Well, maybe after we settle the business part.”

“Um yeah, business. That.” He shook his head and tried to focus on the matter at hand. 

The Iron Bull squinted his good eye as he looked Emma up and down. “So you’re the Inquisition, huh?” When she made a ‘ta dah’ like gesture he laughed, a deep belly laugh. “Gotta say, I thought you'd be more… well, ‘Herald of Andraste’, ‘divine visions’, and all that.”

Emma laughed and held out her hand. “Nice to meet you, Bull.”

The Qunari smirked and took her hand in his much larger one, dwarfing it. “Fearless little thing, aren't you?” He was smiling but his eyes were calculating. Damon would bet anything he was hiding behind his big size just like he did. People liked to think big meant dumb.

“Do I have anything to fear from you, Bull?” Emma asked grinning up at the giant. Damon briefly wondered if Emma had a crush on this character as well. He had a brief urge to call dibs but he was an adult and would absolutely not do that. 

“Well, I don't know,” Iron bull chuckled, “why don't you tell me? Given you’re the one with the ‘holy visions’.”

Emma smiled and leaned in almost flirtatiously, making Damon's mouth drop. Emma never flirted. “Do you prefer Bull or Hissrad?”

Bull’s eye narrowed and he looked at Emma sharply. “Well, that saves me from having to tell you about that, I guess.”

“Indeed it does,” Emma chirped and grinned like a cheshire cat “I want you to show Leliana all your reports before sending them off to your superiors and share whatever information you were going to offer in return. And you're hired.”

Damon looked between the two who were locked in a staring contest of sorts, except Emma was grinning her head off, while Bull seemed somewhat unnerved. And then it clicked. “Oh! Is this the honest spy?”

Emma nodded her head still grinning. “Yup!” Popping the p at the end.

“Damn!” Bull shook his massive head and laughed. “Don't do that too often, it's just down right creepy.”

Varric chuckled. “You’ll get used to it.”

Damon collected his head enough to offer an informal salute. “Welcome to the Inquisition, Iron Bull.” 

“Yeah, thanks.” The Qunari turned to speak with his second, ‘Krem’, and they turned to Cassandra who didn't look very happy.

“He is a spy!?” She hissed at Emma.

Damon shrugged. “One we know about and who is willing to share his reports so we know what information is leaving. S’better than one we don’t know about.”

Cassandra threw up her arms and stalked past Varric and Solas as she headed for their camp. Varric grinned and winked at them. “You know, if you keep getting the Seek mad at you I might need to pay you royalties, this is gold!”

 

Bull ended up sending the Chargers ahead to meet them at Haven but elected to stay with them to stabilized the region before they headed back themselves.

Once they were settled back at the campsite, Damon made a beeline for Bull and Emma could see the flirting all the way on the other side of the camp.

Cassandra came over and sat next to her with a deep frown. “Emma,” she began as if she was uncertain how to continue.

“Yes, Cass?” She said as she poked at the fire with a long stick. Varric was stirring a pot of thick stew from some rabbits they had shot on the way back to camp.

Cassandra looked over the fire at Bull and Damon. They were speaking to each other in hushed tones but Emma just knew by the way Damon was leaning into Bull’s space what was going on. “Does Damon’s… behavior bother you?”

The way she said it made Emma squint at Damon for a second then turn back to Cass. “What did he do now?”

Cassandra flushed a little and looked away as if uncomfortable. “The constant flirting… ugh… I don't know how to say it.”

Emma chuckled. “Yeah, he does that a lot, but hey, that's just how he is.” She shrugged. “It's usually pretty harmless.”

Cassandra made a noise that suggested that she didn't agree but she dropped the subject and moved to retrieve her whetstone from her pack. Emma shook her head at the warrior, it was like a religious ritual for the woman to care for her sword every night. If they fought that day or not.

“Hey, Storyteller?” She grinned over at the dwarf, who raised a brow at her nickname. But there was a twinkle in the older man's eyes. “How close is the stew to being ready?”

Varric stirred a few more times and spooned a piece of meat up to check. “I'd give it about five-ten minutes, Princess.”

“Sounds good.” Emma rose from her seat and stretched. “I’ll be back in a sec.” She began walking towards the trees but made a hard right in the other direction and rolled her eyes when she saw Damon and Bull headed the same direction. Nope! No way was she going anywhere near those two right now. He had better not bring back details or she was staying with Cass tonight. 

She went about a hundred or so yards from the camp looking for a secluded place for her to relieve herself. One of the two moons was out tonight so it wasn't too dark, however the trees didn’t help with her visibility. Just when she found a good spot, she heard something scurry to her right and it set her heart racing. She paused a few seconds and listened for anything else. 

It was probably a rabbit or a nug but she was never keen on not being able to see in the dark. After she calmed sufficiently enough to stop staring at the bushes like something was going to jump out at her, she backed up…. Right into something. Nope, that was a someone. Hands grabbed her arm to keep her from tumbling to the ground as she flailed to put some distance between herself and whoever it was; panic clutched at her chest as one hand snaked around to cover her mouth to keep her from crying out.

“Shhh… Da’len.” Solas’ voice whispered in her ear. “Shhh.”

When she stilled he removed his hand and let go of her arm. She rounded on him instantly. “Solas, you nearly gave me a heart attack!” She hissed, crossing her arms and glaring at where she believed his face to be. 

The mage chuckled, actually chuckled at her. “It was not my intention to scare you, da’len. But you went too far from the camp for your own safety.”

“I had to pee!” She huffed, turning to head back to camp, no way she wanted to be alone with him while she couldn't even see him.

“Hold a second, Emma.” Solas gripped her arm again, turning her back towards him and she fought the urge to yank away and take off as fast as her feet would carry her. It was also the first time he’d used her name, it had always been ‘da’len’, which made her a bit curious if she was honest. “You are afraid of me and I have done nothing to harm you.”

Crap! This was the last thing she wanted to talk to him about, she bit her bottom lip and tried to turn away but his grip was firm. “I'm not… uhhh I mean, you haven't… crap!” 

“Why?” The question was clear. Emma shook her head and tried to back up, surprisingly he relented, but her back hit a tree and he quickly stepped forward cutting off any means of escape. “Why, Emma?” His voice was low, barely a whisper.

“W-well, you t-tell me.” Emma stuttered and gestured at themselves and the tree. “W-who wouldn't be?”

Solas shook his head and leaned in closer, making her instinctively mold her back against the bark of the tree. “That is not a answer. Why. Are. You. Afraid?”

Emma felt her stomach roll, he couldn't, wouldn't kill her, right? Didn't he need her to fix the breach? He couldn't get the mark from her to do it himself. But what if he left? Did she know enough that they didn't need him? She doubted it. Maybe she should tell him. Killing her only ensured Corypheus’ victory. Maybe, but what if someone heard? Cassandra or Varric? Or what-

“Emma, why?” Solas shocked her out of her thoughts, his tone now almost a plea and his eyes glinted like a cats as the moon’s light reflected off of them. She shivered.

She hoped her knowledge of elven was correct and not just made up by overzealous fans. This was probably going to get her killed. She took a deep breath and barely whispered. “Fen’heral, Ar eolasa ma.” I know you, Dread Wolf. 

At his sharp intake of breath she knew her words at least registered. He was quiet for a while, it seemed like minutes. “Solas?” She asked quietly, tentatively.

He didn't answer right away but after a moment he took a deep breath. “You’ve told no one.” It wasn't a question.

Emma tried to shrug but she wasn't sure she succeeded. “You saved my life.” When he still stayed quiet she added. “Right now, your goals are the same as ours. Close the breach and stop Corypheus.”

His eyes glinted again. “You know his name.” At her nod he exhaled hard and stepped back. She took the opportunity to get away from the tree and almost fled but his hand caught hers. “What do I do that makes you fear me?”

Emma felt the weight of his eyes even though she couldn't see them. “You leave.” She whispered and gently pulled her hand away. “You leave and you want to remake a world, a world that you've decided is broken.” She turned away and this time he didn't stop her.

Emma entered camp and collapsed next to the fire. Crap, she still needed to pee.

 

 

Damon did his best not to whistle as he made his way back to the camp. He felt great, achy in all the right ways and high off of a good time. Bull was just the kind of guy he liked to hook up with for a once off, casual and rough in bed. Pretty sure there was a big ol’ bruise on his neck that Emma was going to give him shit for but it was definitely worth it. He tried to sneak towards his tent without waking the camp, his head down so he could try and see the ground better, when suddenly a fist connected with his nose in a burst of pain and a crunching noise. 

“How dare you!” Cassandra shouted and Damon thought that all his effort for trying to be quiet had been wasted over the throbbing pain that was his face.

“Wha’ the fuck was tha’ for?” He clutched his face and stumbled back away from her. 

“What was- How can you pretend you do not know? How could you do this? Have you no care for Emma?” The Seeker looked like she was winding up for another punch and Damon stepped back again, wondering if he would have to run.

“I didn’t do shit to Emma?” He was pretty sure his nose was broken.

“You! You-” She made a growling noise that was quite frankly terrifying and swung at him again. He managed to catch this one with his forearm. Damn, she had a hell of a swing. 

“Cass! Seriously! What did I do?” He held out a placating hand. 

“CASSANDRA! DAMON!” Emma shrieked and jumped between them, her hair wild from sleep and her clothes rumpled. “What in the name of all that is holy in this world are you doing?!”

The Seeker’s face crumbled and she softened her voice as she spoke to Emma. “I’m sorry, Emma. But I saw him coming back from meeting with- with that Iron Bull.” 

Damon gave her a bewildered look. “So?”

“So?” Cassandra’s eyes glinted dangerously. “How could you hurt Emma like that?” She spat at his feet.

“Why would me sleeping with someone hurt Emma?”

Cassandra threw her hands in the air. “You are dense. She is your lover and you go to another?”

Emma and Damon froze for a second before both of them burst into laughter, Emma clutching her stomach and Damon bending over so he didn’t breath in the blood from his nose. “Oh. My gods. Emma? Lovers?” He wheezed. 

Emma had to take several breaths before she could speak. “Cass, you punched him cuz’ you thought he was cheating on me?” 

Cassandra looked bewildered. “Of course.”

“We ain’t lovers!” Damon was hiccuping now from the laughter.

“But you share a bed!”

“You only gave us one!”

“You carry her and feed her?”

“She was sick!”

“But,” Cassandra looked like someone had dumped a bucket of cold water on her head. “Everyone assumes, even Leliana. You’re so… devoted.”

“We’ve been friends since before we could walk. Em, could you reset my nose?”

Emma shook her head, “Damon’s like a brother to me, Cass.” She said as she looked over his nose and winced. “Um, its shattered.”

“Fuck. Do you think Solas can fix it?”

At the mention of the mage's name Emma’s face paled; she was about to speak when the man himself walked over. 

“It shouldn't be too difficult.” He chuckled and turned Damon’s face so he could look at the injury. His hands glowed and he passed them over his face, sending an itching sensation through his sinuses. He turned away just in time to avoid sneezing on the mage. Damon poked his nose and grinned when it didn’t hurt. “Thanks, Solas.”

“My pleasure.” The mage gave a slight bow and an oddly significant but mysterious look at Emma. 

Cassandra clasped her hands behind her, looking ashamed. “I… am sorry for hitting you.”

“Nah, s’all cool. You were lookin’ out for EmTi. I respect that.” He lightly punched her shoulder. “You’re a good friend.” He paused. “Wait, is this why you’ve been mad at me for the past month? Cuz I was flirting and you thought Emma and I were t’gether?”

She nodded and shifted uncomfortably as Damon collapsed on the ground to laugh. Emma smiled and shook her head at him then turned to Cassandra. “Thanks for looking out for me, Cass. It means a lot.” She laughed again at Damon. “Can't believe you broke his nose for me though.


	8. Chapter 8

The storm coast was a roller coaster, first was Blades of Hessarian that killed their scouts. They’d had to wait a week for the Crest of Mercy to be crafted for them to challenge the leader. During that time they took care of rifts in the region and of course they saw the dragon and the giant fight. Emma’d thought they'd have to physically restrain Bull from attacking but thankfully he listened when she told him they weren't ready for that fight yet. He’d moped about it for days after though.

They had closed all the rifts by the time the crest was finished and off they went to challenge the Hessarian’s leader. The game hadn’t exaggerated either; the man was massive easily just a inch or two shorter than Bull. He had taunted them and demanded that since Emma carried the crest that it should be her to fight him. 

Damon was having none of that and thankfully insulted the man's pride enough that he wanted to tear him apart instead her. You could always count on Damon to make people unreasonably angry, whether on purpose or accidentally. 

The fight itself was a brief whirlwind of rage and ax swings. Emma and the group helped keep the hounds away and Damon used his considerable bulk to batter through the leader’s defenses and armor. Emma could see him afterwards, leaning on his ax handle and staring down at the man’s corpse in dismay while she accepted the Blades as agents for the Inquisition on his behalf. She could see each death was wearing on him. It was for her too, but she had a bit of distance behind her bow that he didn't’ have. The blood never touched her. 

The formalities finished, she leaned against his side until he inhaled deeply and forced a grin on for her. 

Cassandra suggested they head back to Haven after that and nobody disagreed. After the constant rain and mud she knew everyone was ready to go home. Huh, when did Haven start to feel like home?

Bull joked a lot on the return trip; he never asked her any direct questions but she knew he was still sizing her up, possibly believing her to be a fraud. Which of course she was, but it was best that they believed that she was a seer for now at least.

Cassandra was more relaxed around Damon now and even held non hostile conversations with him, which she found hilarious. The way Damon’s eyes followed the Seeker around as she moved was new though. There wasn’t a single crooked grin or cheesy come on which was even weirder. But, at least they were getting along. No more broken bones.

Varric was, well Varric. He complained, a lot. Most of the time it was just to get a laugh out of them so it really wasn't as annoying as Cassandra seemed to think.

Solas…… Solas stayed. After that night he had cornered her for the truth she’d expected him to be gone the next morning, but there he was sitting in companionable silence with Varric when she exited the tent. He didn't speak to her anymore than what seemed necessary but instead offered small significant looks and nods. It was weird but at least now she didn't feel as if he had a target pinned on her back.

They reached Haven a while after nightfall; deciding to push on the last few hours instead of making camp. Thankfully this meant the only ones to witness their arrival were soldiers, that apparently went and dragged poor Cullen from his tent. He met them outside the Stable, looking so adorably sleep rumbled as he walked towards them that Emma almost fangirl squealed. He was completely without his armor and instead he wore a loose linen shirt that looked rumpled, tan breeches, and of coarse his red furred cloak. His hair was in curls without the help of whatever he used as gel to painstakingly tame it.

“Cassandra, we didn't expect you until tomorrow.” He said as he drew closer to them.

Damon grinned. “It’s cuz she punched some of us into yesterday. Makes travelling faster.” 

Varric made a choking sound to try and cover up his laughter and Cassandra shot them both a glare. “It’s late, commander.” She addressed him as she handed her reins off to a stable hand. “We should call a meeting with the others in the morning.”

Cullen nodded his head in agreement then addressed Bull who was already dismounted and watching them attentively. “You are The Iron Bull, correct?”

Bull gave him a nod, “That's me, horns usually give it away.”

Cullen nodded and pointed toward the far wall. “Your men are here and pitched their tents just outside the gates.”

“Thanks.” Bull grabbed his pack and slung it easily over a shoulder and turned to the rest. “Catch ya later, I better go check on my men.” Then he tossed Damon a wink (or was it a slow blink? Emma wasn't sure but it looked like he was trying to wink) before striding off towards the gates.

Damon smiled after him for a second before nudging Emma with his elbow. “Hey, is he actually taller than me or is it just the horns?”

Emma just shook her head at him and unlatched her pack from its place on her saddle. “I guess we’d all better try get some sleep.” She called over to Cassandra and Cullen. 

“Love the way you think, Princess.” Varric stretched, popping several joints in the process before grabbing his own pack. “Join me for breakfast at The Maiden tomorrow?” 

“We’ll be there.” She promised as the dwarf departed.

Solas already had his pack in hand and followed closely behind the dwarf, only offering a polite ‘goodnight’ to them all beforehand.

Damon watched him for a second before nudging Emma's arm, “So what’s with Solas? You tap that or what?” 

“What!? No… I… No!” Emma's voice squeaked embarrassingly as she shook her head in denial. 

Damon rounded on her with delighted eyes. “Wait! Really? I saw you sneaking off int’ the woods same time I was but I didn’t actually-”

“Good Lord! No!” Emma's could feel her cheeks burning. “There's noooo way! I mean he isn't interested.”

“Ah.” Damon wiggled his eyebrows in that way that always left her wanting to punch him. “But you areeeeee?”

“Damon!” He dodged her swing easily and cackled at her. A chuckle behind her reminded her that they weren't alone and she turned to see both Cassandra smirking and Cullen grinning at them, his lip scar turning it crooked. She felt her face heat even more and quickly looked away. “Um…. uh… goodnight.”

With that she took off for their cabin, probably looking ridiculous as she nearly power walked all of the way. She threw the door open and came face to fa- well top of her head- with a wide eyed Frya. 

“My lady Herald!” The elf curtseyed, more a polite bob than the full thing, and gestured at the steaming tubs. “Your baths are ready and I had the tavern send over supper and tea.” She bobbed another curtsey when Damon ducked through the door and twisted her hands together in front of her belly. “Ser Damon.” 

“Frya!” The woman seemed startled that he remembered her name. “You’re a gift from the gods. Is that- are those cookies?” 

Emma looked at the table and sure enough, there was a plate of cookies that looked suspiciously like apple oatmeal cookies. Their favorites. They had been reminiscing about them before their trip to the Storm Coast but she hadn’t realized that Frya had overheard or even would go to the trouble of having them made. “Oatmeal cookies.” Emma turned and beamed at the Elven woman. “Can you adopt me?”

“And me! Can I hug you? I’d like to hug you because this is amazing.”

Frya flushed. “It wasn’t much trouble at all. I had the tavern hands do most of the work on account of the babe.”

Emma shook her head. “It’s wonderful and we are very grateful.”

The elf smiled shyly. “I- I hope it’s not to bold of me, but I also made some more clothing for you both. I-” She bit her lip nervously before gesturing to a stack of fabric laying on the bed. “I heard you saying there weren’t clothes around that fit you properly so I made some. I’m not the best seamstress, but they’re sturdy.”

Damon beelined for the fabric and unrolled a pair of trousers made of a sturdy black fabric and stitched with white thread. He held them up to his hips and grinned when the hem reached all the way below his ankles. “Wow! This is great! Thank you!” He tossed the other roll to Emma, hitting her in the face. 

She tossed him a mock glare before unrolling the brown fabric. It was a simple shirt but looked like it would be loose-fitting and comfortable. Along the sleeves was delicate stitching in yellow thread that looked like vines and leaves. “Frya, this is beautiful.” She held the shirt against herself and admired the stitching. She knew people back home that wished they could sew half as well and this was all hand stitched, no machines to make it easier. She quickly threw her arms around the women. “Thank you!”

Frya actually giggled. “It's not that good, my Lady.”

“Are you kidding me?” Damon grinned and hugged the woman as well. “They're great, thank you.”

That night they all ate together at Emma and Damon’s insistence. The cookies were to die for, both for how delicious they were and how Frya had made their return feel like coming home with her simple motherly gesture. Frya listened to Damon’s dramatic (and exaggerated) retelling of Cassandra decking him, her eyes wide and her smile wider. Emma leaned back in her chair and basked in the contentment that only good food with friends could bring. 

Time passed quickly and despite their plan, Emma and Damon ended up staying up the rest of the night talking with Frya, who finally consented to call them both just by their names. The sky was just starting to lighten when they finally fell into their beds… yes! Beds! Another bed had been moved in during their absence. Apparently Cassandra had updated the other advisers on her and Damon’s actual relationship. 

They both only got about an hour’s sleep before a messenger came pounding at their door. Damon just grumbled and pulled his pillow over his head. “That had better not be for me.”

Emma chuckled and stumbled over to the door, opening it to get hit by a gust of freezing air and to see a familiar looking scout. “Jim?” She asked before she could stop herself.

The scout cocked his head and gave her an odd look before shaking his head. “Uh, no, my lady. My name is Torrence.”

Emma shook her head at herself and smiled apologetically at the man. “Sorry, you reminded me of someone there for a second. What’s up?” Immediately the scout frowned and looked up at the sky. “No… I mean what do you need?” Emma managed without laughing. Some modern lingo just didn't translate she guessed.

“Sister Nightingale requests both you and Ser Damon to meet them by the next bell in the war room.” The scout (Torrence’ not ‘Jim) saluted then turned on his heel.

“Wait a sec. When's next bell?” Emma called after him.

“Hour and a half, my lady.” He called back and then hurried on his way.

She closed the door and turning to find Damon sitting up with his head in his hands and rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Heard that?” She asked as she headed for her bed to get her boots.

He threw his pillow at her and groaned. “I ain’t heard shit.” 

Emma pulled on her boots and ran a comb through her hair. She was about to pull on her Coat when she looked back to see Damon had flopped on his side and pulled the blanket over his head. She grinned at him. “If I leave you in here do you promise to get up and be at the meeting on time?”

He glared at her from under the blanket before rolling out of bed and hitting the floor with a thump loud enough to shake the floor. For a moment she thought he might actually be getting out of bed, but- nope. He scooted under the bed, barely fitting his shoulders underneath it.

“What are you doing? She laughed as she finished shrugging on her coat.

“You can’t jump on me down here.” He smirked sleepily and pulled the blanket up further over his face. 

Emma laughed and headed for the door. “Be there, Damon Theron, or Leliana will have your head.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He yawned at her as she stepped outside. 

Emma felt the crisp snow crunch under her boots and then grinned evilly as an idea hit her. She waited a good two minutes before scooping up two handfuls of clean snow and sneaked back inside. Sure enough, Damon was already snoring and had moved back onto the bed. Creeping forward, she got behind him and gently lifted his blanket so as not to wake him.

“Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey!” She shouted then dumped the whole load of snow down his back before dashing for the door.

She heard his screech and then the thudding that meant he was coming after her. She tried to duck around a corner but a lump of snow caught her right in the hair. Oh, it was on now. She dropped behind a cart and packed a snowball. A nearby guard stared at her with wide eyes and she gestured for him to get closer. He ducked down next to her and she pressed a snowball into his hands. “Get him in the face and run for cover. You go left, I’ll go right. Got it?” 

He nodded unsurely and she counted up on her fingers. One. Two. Three. They dashed out in opposite directions and tossed the snow. The guard’s snowball clipped Damon’s shoulder but Emma got him right in the face. 

“Is that how it is then, Konstantina?” Damon boomed out and a ball of slush splattered against the tent she slid behind. It was quiet for a moment. Too quiet. She packed another ball and peered out. Oh no. Damon was talking to Varric. She caught the guard who had helped her’s attention and gave the signal for him to gather reinforcements. She was going to need all the help she could get if Varric got in on this. The guard slunk off towards the training grounds where Cassandra and Cullen hung out. Emma chanced another look around the corner but Damon and Varric were nowhere to be seen. She packed a snowball and dashed for the next building closer to the gates.

“Hey, weirdy!” Emma turned only to get a face full of snow and Sera cackling wildly. “This is fun it’n’it.”

“Sera, you’re on Damon’s team?!” Emma sputtered and shook the snow from her hair. 

“Guess so.” The rogue grinned and dashed away towards Damon and Varric when Emma hefted her snowball threateningly.

“Hey! No fair! Three against one!” Emma called and lobbed her snowball, clipping Varric’s leg.

“You shouldn’t start wars you can’t win, EmTi!” A pair of snowballs arced towards her and she slid down to the ground to avoid them. When she stood back up Damon and the rogues were out of sight. She turned at the sound of footsteps and almost hit Cassandra with a palmful of snow. Cullen and Bull were following the Seeker with bemused expressions.

“What in Maker’s name is going on, Emma?” She got out before Emma grabbed her arm and yanked her behind the nearest tent, shoving a snowball into her hand.

“You’re on my team!” She glanced back at Cullen and Bull. “All of you!” Bull threw his head back and laughed deeply. Then a snowball hit his horn. 

“Hey, we play’n or wot?” Sera called from behind a barrel. 

The massive qunari scooped up a mass of snow and flung it at the barrel with enough force to knock it over. Sera shrieked and scrambled away. 

Cullen grinned and crouched down to get a snowball and moved next to Emma. “So, Damon, Sera, and Varric? Maker, I haven't done this since I was a boy.”

“Yup! Cover me!” Emma dashed toward their cabin and ducked behind a woodpile, spotting Bianca peaking out from behind a tent. She knew it was always strapped to Varric’s back. She eased forward and caught him on the back of his head.

Varric gave her a wounded expression when he turned around. “Why, princess, I thought we were friends!”

Before she could answer, two snowballs hit her from both sides. “Gotcha!” Damon crowed from one side and Sera cackled from the other.

The battle that followed was fierce, snow powdered the buildings as attack after attack was thrown. They were moving around Aiden’s as Damon and the rogues preferred to ambush and fall back. Emma was hiding behind the tavern when she spotted movement around the corner. She flung herself around and flung the snowball… And hit Solas directly in the chest. 

“I…. uh!” Emma stammered and backed up a step. Crap, she’d done it now.

Solas merely looked down at his chest then back up at her and raised an eyebrow. A smirk tugged at his lips. “It appears we are now enemies.” Before she could think he gave a flick of his hand and snow rained down on her from the taverns roof.

“That's cheating!” She screeched as she dashed behind the corner. “No magic!”

“Very well, da’asha!” He called out to her.

When she peeked back around the corner he was nowhere to be seen so she made a dash towards where Cullen was crouched behind Leliana’s tent. He was a little breathless but still smiling. “Do you see them anywhere?” she whispered, peeking around the side of the tent.

“No.” He answered and handed her a freshly packed snowball. “But I saw Sera head this way.”

She nodded and look around. “Watch out for Solas, he’s with them too.”

Cullen chuckled, “You two seem to have a knack for drawing people into things.” 

Emma laughed with him and then dashed toward a table that was set up. There were no papers on it so she flipped it over for a shield. Just in time for it to get plastered with snow. Cullen scooped up some snow. “Damon is near that tent by the chantry steps. I’ll distract the others, you take out the head.” 

Cullen leaped over the table and charged to the side, instantly the ground around him exploded into powder as snowballs from every direction streaked towards him. Cassandra and Bull popped out from behind a building and tossed snow every which way, and Emma. Emma scooped up a pile of snow and charged silently towards Damon, who was winding up to toss some slush towards Cullen. She slid across the final few feet of snow and kicked his feet out from under him, earning a satisfying yelp as he flailed and hit the ground. She rolled back and sat on his chest before he could get back up. She grinned and held the snow over his face. “Do you surrender?”

He mock growled at her. “Never!”

So she dropped the snow directly on his face. He sputtered and laughed as he easily picked her up off of him and pushed her down on the snow to rub some of it into her hair. She shrieked at him and tried to wiggle out of his grip, but he was too strong. She opened her mouth to call for help, only to get a mouth full of snow just as she saw Solas step out of a shadow and clock Bull in the face with some slush. 

A polite cough from above interrupted Damon and Emma’s playful wrestling match. She looked up to see Leliana, Josephine, and Vivienne all looking down at them with various expressions of amusement. 

“Having fun, Herald?” Leliana asked, smirking at them.

“Very much so, Lady Leliana.” Damon somehow managed a polite bow while still pinning Emma to the snow.

“Perhaps this is not the best image for the Herald of Andraste to show the people.” Vivienne somehow was polite and disdainful at once.

“Not everyone is willing to follow a symbol in the sky. But many are willing to follow a symbol in the sky that also comes down to earth once in a while.” Damon inclined his head politely and finally Emma managed to wiggle free. 

“Very true.” Josephine giggled, “It has probably done wonders for the men’s morale.” She said then gestured to the crowd looking on with grins and even some coins passed between hands. 

Emma allowed Damon to help her to her feet and brush snow from her hair. Her “army” as well as Damon’s “army” met up to shake hands and shake the snow off with laughs and jokes before parting ways. Cullen and Cassandra made their way over and Emma smiled brightly at Leliana. “Well, I believe we are on time for that meeting.”


	9. Chapter 9

Emma smiled down at the steaming latte sitting in front of her and cupped it between her hands to soak in its heat. She glanced around to see where she was at. Tonight, it was the coffee shop next to her apartment that she frequented. The Fade truly was a fascinating place.

The first time she had been here, she had dreamed she was standing at her parents house. It had been scary at first, but after a few moments it had dawned on her where she actually was. The Fade did a amazing job replicating ones memories and feelings, but there were always inconsistencies she could find that confirmed where she was. Like right now, the antique chandelier just floated in the air without attaching to the ceiling.

The coffee shop was completely empty except for a few curious spirits, their glowing forms floating from one spot to the next. They never spoke to her but kept themselves at a distance and merely observed. She never saw any demons, not that she wanted to. In fact she fervently hoped never to see a demon in her dreams. About as much as she hoped never to see Solas traipsing about her dreamscape.

The benevolent spirits though? She actually didn't mind them, even though they didn't interact with her, they kept her company. Their presences were soothing. She often found herself wondering what kind of spirits they were, but since they never spoke to her she could never be sure. 

She took a sip of the latte and smiled as the warm, rich liquid slid down her throat. She knew it was just the memory of the drink she was tasting, but it didn't make it any less enjoyable. She sighed and sat back in the chair, glancing out the storefront window to the vacant street. The sounds of the street were still there but there were no cars or people to accompany the sounds. It was always eery… and lonely if she were honest.

One thing the Fade was good for was planning and deciding how to proceed with things. She had thrown the timeline out of wack. First the Templars in Val Royouax and now Solas. Everything was all wrong now; how could she follow the game’s layout now? She groaned and laid her head down on the cool surface of the table. 

And Solas knew she knew who he was. How could she have been such a idiot? Why couldn't she have played it cool? Why’d she have to be so horrible at lying? Solas was probably plotting her demise for the moment she was no longer useful. What if he killed her after she closed the breach, before Haven falls? She would be just another Felassan.

The bell over the door chimed, making Emma jump out of her seat and spun around to see what or who had entered her shop. Solas stood there with a smug expression. “Ah.. I've been looking for you, da’len.”

“Solas! You're not supposed to be here!” Her voice sounded overly loud in the empty store, and slightly more panicked than she would have preferred.

Solas stalked towards her, a cruel smile twisting his lips. “It seems we are now enemies, da’len.” It was a harsh echo of what had seemed like a playful taunt from their snowball fight. With that, his form was suddenly enveloped in an ink black smoke. Emma suppressed the whimper as the swirling smoke formed into a massive wolf. Six blood red eyes suddenly locked onto her, causing panic to curl in her chest. She needed to wake up. Now! The wolf’s jaws snapped at her and she jumped back, knocking over the table in her attempt to get away.

She turned to run towards the back of the shop, there had to be a back entrance, but something clamped around her upper arm and she-

“Emma!”

-swung her free arm at the voice while trying to pull away. A large hand caught her wrist-

“Emma! Wake up!”

-and she opened her eyes to see Damon’s concerned face looming over her. She blinked several times, trying to reorient herself after being wrenched out of the Fade like that. 

Damon was kneeling next to her bed. “Hey, you ok?”

Emma ran a hand over her face and flopped backwards with a heavy sigh. Solas had been in her dream. Her dream. And he had threatened her! That egg-headed elf had threatened her!

“Egg-headed?” Damon laughed, but still looked confused. Had she said that out loud?

“Never mind.” Emma pushed herself up and threw back her covers. “I just need some air.” She shoved her feet into her boots and violently shrugged on her coat.

“EmTi, it’s freezing out there.” She could hear his heavy hopping behind her, no doubt trying to pull his boots on while following her. 

“Go back to bed. I'll just be a sec.” She yanked the door open and was immediately assaulted by the frigid wind.

“No, you go back to bed, you just tried to punch me and are now going outside with my coat!”

She blinked and looked down, then scowled back up at him. “You don't have a coat, you're a freaking walking heater!”

“Yeah, but now I have my boots on. I’m goin’ with ya.” He nudged her shoulder gently and grinned, but she could see the concerned wrinkle between his eyebrows. 

She sighed, “I'm fine, ok? Just need to set a certain elf straight on something.” She mumbled the last part, but judging by Damon’s dark expression he had heard her. “Just don't kill him, ok!?”

With that she turned and marched through the freshly fallen snow towards Solas’ small cabin. Damon followed a short distance behind, a silent, and slightly foreboding, presence behind her.

When they reached Solas’ door she froze. What was she supposed to say? She hadn't told Damon anything about the ancient elf, how was she going to give him a piece of her mind without ratting him out? Oh well, he should have thought of that before he invaded her dreams! Emma pounded on the door with as much force as she could.

Emma heard a muffled, “Fenedhis, I'm coming.”’ She continued banging loudly until Solas wrenched the door open and outright glared at her. His shirt was untucked, jaw bone necklace hanging lopsidedly, and his eyes looked bleary from sleep, but no less annoyed. “Was that really necessary?” 

Emma glared right back at him. “You tell me!” 

He raised a questioning eyebrow at her. 

“Stay out of my head!” She punctuated the sentence with a stab of her finger against his sternum.

His brow furrowed in confusion. “Stay out of your head?” He echoed slowly.

Emma growled. “I know you're a friggin somniari, Solas. Stay out of my dreams!”

At the word somniari, Solas frowned and glanced around, stepping backward and motioning her and Damon inside. “Perhaps we may continue this conversation inside?”  
Emma huffed and looked back at Damon, who just shrugged ‘it was up to her’. Solas made a impatient motion with his hand and she glared at him again. She made a snap decision and pushed past him into his house, Damon following close behind.

With a flick of his wrist, the fireplace began to blaze and several candles lit, bathing the cabin in a warm, flickering glow. “Now let me start by first saying that I have never entered your dreams.” When she opened her mouth to contradict him, he hushed her with a sharply raised hand. “Whatever you saw was not me. Possibly it was a demon, however, I find that unlikely.”

Emma still wasn't convinced. “So a demon shows up in my dream with your face and threatens me?” She had to fight to keep from rolling her eyes when he tucked his hands behind his back like he always did when he was ‘imparting knowledge’.

“As you yourself have said, I am a somniari. Thus, I can walk the Fade and often see into another’s dreams.”

“Wait, anyone’s dreams?” Damon leaned forward onto his toes like he was ready to fight. His eyes had that squint that told Emma he was worried. 

Solas took in his body language with the smallest of smiles. “Potentially. However, only mages tend to have a strong enough connection to the Fade to have clear enough dreams for me to truly see. Those who are mundane dream nothing more than flashes, shapes hard to decipher.” When Damon relaxed slightly, he turned his gaze back to Emma. “But if a dreamer is aware, they can exert their will to create a barrier of sorts, or if their will isn't strong enough, they can use wards to block their mind from accessing the Fade. This is common in circles to ward against possession.” He cocked his head and smiled at her curiously. “You are no mage, as we have established. Yet your presence in the Fade is a beacon, but your dreams are barriered; none can enter unless you wish it. If it it simply the mark aiding you or by your own will I am uncertain.”

“It’s her will.” Damon muttered quietly. 

Solas tilted his head and approached the fireplace, taking a kettle from the mantle and placing it close to the flames. It looked like he was about to make tea, which was weird. Solas didn't like tea. Emma's confusion was answered quickly however when he uncapped a jug that sat close by. He filled the kettle with a golden liquid and the faint aroma of apples drifted over. “I am curious,” he directed at Damon as he did this. “What makes you so certain?”

Damon’s mouth twisted into a wry smile. “No power in the ‘verse can stop her.”

Emma snorted, then turned to Solas, who was still studying Damon curiously. “So what did I see?”

Solas was silent for few minutes while he pondered the question. During his silence, he poured some warm spiced cider into wooden cups for them both. He poured some cider for himself and took a sip before answering. “At a guess? Your subconscious mind conjured a image of how you view me.” He gave her a sad smile. “If you truly believed that I would threaten you or was a threat, your mind would adapt the image to match.”

Emma suddenly felt horrible and looked at him apologetically. “It could have been a demon?” She tried.

Solas shook his head and took another sip. “As I said none can enter unless you wished to see them. You were aware I was a somniari and did not wish to see me, so I was repelled from your dreams.” He smiled. “It stands to reason that if you were aware of me, you were also aware of demons as well.”

Damon leaned forward with a hard smile. “So you’ve tried?”

Solas’ gazed dropped to his cup, “It would be futile to deny it. As I said, her presence is a beacon in he Fade. I worried she or the mark would inadvertently attract demons. However, as I found, that was not a issue.”

Damon made a noise in the back of his throat that Emma knew meant he didn’t believe a word of it. 

“So, tee-el-dee-are, you tried snooping, she’s locked down too tight to worry about anything, and I’m too,” He waved his hands around his head in a chaotic gesture, “for you to see anything useful?”

Solas chuckled. “In a sense, yes and no.” Solas downed the rest of his drink. “She did ‘lock me down’ as you put it. I can get glimpses into a mundane individuals dream. Nothing more then passing images that often mean nothing.” A slow teasing smile pulled at his lips. “However, after a few images from you I hastily decided against intruding any further.” Then added as an afterthought. “But I must congratulate you on your taste.”

Emma began coughing violently as the cider went down the wrong pipe. Did Solas just-? Yes. Yes he did.

Damon grinned, unashamed. “Thanks. I pride myself on my impeccable taste.” 

Emma stood abruptly and put her fingers in her ears, eliciting a chuckle from the both of them, “Nope, I don't want to know!”

“You really don't.” Solas laughed and Emma noticed the slight shadow on top of his usually shiny head. Oh, good! He wasn't naturally bald.

Emma glanced out the window and saw the sky was beginning to lighten. “Well now that I've thoroughly made a fool of myself, we should probably go now.” 

Solas followed her gaze out the window and made a irritated noise in the back of his throat. “Before you go,” he turned and locked his gaze with hers. “Let me assure you, you are in no danger from me, da’asha.”

Emma nodded crisply as she hurried for the door with Damon in tow, but stopped at the door to glance back at Solas standing by the fireplace. “You should really stop shaving your head.” She grinned at his questioning eyebrow. “You look like an egg.”

She hurried out the door, followed closely by a cackling Damon. She thought she heard Solas laugh, but she didn’t pause to find out for sure.


	10. Chapter 10

The next morning, they started out for the Hinterlands once again, despite Cullen's insistence that the Templars would be enough to close the breach. He wanted them to await Barris’ return from Therinfal with the rest of the Templars. Emma had been adamant that they had an obligation to try and resolve the fighting between Mages and Templars. It didn’t do much to get the other advisers on her side; it was only by reminding Leliana about the lead about the Gray Warden she had wanted them to follow and Damon digging his heels in and bringing up the whole ‘seeing the future thing’ that they were able to sway the council.

When Vivienne heard that they were going to treat with the rebel Mages, she insisted on going and was miffed when Emma denied her ‘request’, stating that it wouldn't send a great message to the mages if they brought a circle loyalist with them to meet. Damon heard her mutter ‘Vivienne greatly disapproves’ under her breath as the mage sauntered away. 

Damon had tried to persuade Sera to go with them, but the elf scrunched up her nose at the mention of meeting with the mages and firmly declined, saying something about seeing someone about bees. So off they went with Cassandra, Varric, Bull, and Solas in tow. 

The morning after they reached their camp in the Hinterlands was a pleasant one; a cool breeze over the hills and the sun peeking cheerily over the horizon. Damon was entertaining Varric and Bull by putting on an impromptu play with a hardboiled egg with angry eyebrows drawn on the shell, and a biscuit.

He wiggled the biscuit and drawled in a high-pitched voice. “An if ya ever get near my magical pumpkin again I’ll shove your noggin’ where the sun don’t shine!” He lowered his voice into a horribly fake posh accent and wiggled the egg. “I don’t know what that means and that makes me angry.” 

“You know what I mean!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Do!”

“Don’t!”

“Do!” 

Bull and Varric were clutching their stomachs as they laughed at the way he smashed the egg and biscuit together in a fake fight. A shadow fell over him and he looked up at Solas’ confused expression. “Hey! Meet your twin, Sunny!” He held the egg out to the elf. 

Solas gave him unimpressed look and took the offered egg, turning it over in his hands critically before then handing it back. “You forgot the freckles.”

Damon gave the elf a long, slow look over. “I see no freckles, and you ain’t really my type so I’ll pass on finding them.” He grinned cheekily. 

“I was under the impression that anybody was your type?” Solas quirked an unimpressed brow as he peeled the egg. 

“Nah, that’s Bull. I don’t go for scrawny.”

Bull laughed and raised his mug in a mock toast. Definitely not scrawny there. 

Solas huffed like he wasn’t sure if he should be offended or not.

Emma sat on the other side of the fire watching the whole thing, trying to hide her laughter behind her mug and failing miserably. “So, tracking down the Warden Blackwall today?” She asked Cassandra, who was sharpening her sword for the zillionth time.

The Seeker hummed an affirmative. “If we can find him.”

“Don't worry, we’ll find him.” She took another sip of her tea. “We should look near the cabin next to that lake not far from here.”

Bull leaned forward and studied her critically. “So Boss, how do you do it? You don't zone out or get all glowing like the Rivaini seers I've seen.”

Emma shrugged. “I'm not sure how to explain it Bull, but it's like a story I've read before.”

Damon shoved the last of the biscuits into his mouth and grunted. “A story she’s read a hundred times before and then vaguely talks about without ever giving the ending away.”

“Spoilers!” Emma gave him defensive look.

“Some spoilers would definitely help keep my foot outta my mouth.” He stuck his tongue out at her.

Emma batted her eyes playfully. “Aww, but I thought that was practice for all that time you spent with Bull?” Her cheeks turned a light shade of pink as she realized what she had just said.

Damon stared at her for a moment in stunned awe before cackling. “Oh my gods, I love you!” 

Bull guffawed and gave Emma a thumbs up. “Didn't think you had it in ya, Boss.”

“That’s cuz she didn’t, I did.” Damon poked Emma in the ribs playfully when she choked on her tea. “I’m gonna go get the horses ready.” 

Cassandra made a disgusted noise and sheathed her sword so she could stomp after him to help with the horses. “You are all worse than children.”

Damon smiled as he started efficiently brushing MoFo down. “Sometimes.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes and vigorously brushed Prince’s coat. They worked in silence for a while before Cassandra glanced over at him. “Damon, do you believe in the Maker?”

Damon frowned. “That’s a complicated question. I’ve seen a lot of miracles, I’ve seen a lot of bad. All done in a god’s name. I’m just… Well, I’m just me. I don’t know nothing for sure. Something sent me an’ Emma here. Maybe it was your Maker. I dunno, but I ain’t gonna say it wasn’t.”

Cassandra gave him a small smile and began combing Prince’s mane. “I believe he sent you, both of you at the hour of our greatest need. Emma is….” she trailed off in thought, her hand weaving small braids into the horses mane, before looking over and him. “She has a kind heart and is determined but… she is not a natural leader.”

“Nah, she ain’t. She’s always been the one to let me make the decisions, but with a healthy dose of advice first.” He chuckled and looked at the sky as MoFo snuffled against his chest. “Maybe your Maker was involved in sending us. If only one o’ us showed up it’d be a right disaster. They musta known that.”

Cassandra snorted. “I shudder to think of what you would be without her to temper you.”

He grinned and grabbed MoFo’s tack. “You’da killed me the first five minutes and I can’t even blame ya for it. I ain’t always the, uh… most tactful of people.”

“No, you’re not.” She laughed as she slipped Prince’s bridle on. “But then again neither am I.”

“Guess it’s a good thing we got Emma and Josie to knock us on the head if we get too rowdy.” He shrugged. “You don’t do too bad though. You’ve got enough… I dunno… fire? Faith? That people sit up and listen t’ya.”

Cassandra looked over at him again with a look of surprise. “I… thank you.” She ducked her head and Damon could see a faint blush across her cheekbones as she busied herself with her horse.

 

 

It wasn’t long before the others had finished their breakfast and got their own horses. Cassandra lead them towards the lake Emma described and sure enough, there was a bear of a man with an impressive beard yelling directions to a group of young looking men. “Remember how to carry your shield. You’re not hiding, you’re holding. Otherwise it’s useless.”

“Blackwall? Warden Blackwall?” Damon called out, sliding off of his horse.

The man stalked over. “You’re not- How do you know my name? Who sent-” He suddenly raised his shield and blocked an incoming arrow from hitting them. There was a yell from the tree line and suddenly a group of people were charging towards them. Blackwall glared. “That’s it. Help or get out. We’re dealing with these idiots first.” He gestured with his sword. “Conscripts! Here they come!”

With that he charged towards the attacking party. Damon unhooked his ax and glanced at Emma. She nodded and he charged off with Blackwall, quickly taking down one of the attackers with a powerful swing. The fight was short and bloody once Cassandra and the others joined in. When the last one fell, Blackwall knelt by the corpse and shook his head. “Sorry bastards.” He turned to the conscripts and addressed them. “Good work, conscripts. Even if this shouldn’t have happened, they could’ve- Well. Thieves are made, not born. Take back what they stole, go back to your families, you saved yourselves.” 

Damon approached Blackwall as the conscripts wandered off. Blackwall gestured irritably at him. “You’re no farmer. Why do you know my name?”

Damon shrugged. “Actually, I was a farmer for a time. But that don’t matter. I’m with the Inquisition. We’re looking into the disappearance of the Wardens and what it might have to do with the murder of the Divine.” 

“Makers Balls! The Wardens and the Divine? No, you’re asking so you don’t really know.” He hesitated. “First off, I didn’t know they disappeared. But we do that, right? No more Blight, job done, Wardens are the first thing forgotten. But one thing I’ll tell you: no Warden killed the Divine. Our purpose isn’t political.”

Damon shrugged amicably. “I ain’t here to accuse anybody. Just lookin’ for information. We’ve only found you, y’know where the rest at?”

“I haven’t seen any other Wardens for months. I travel alone. Recruiting. Not much interest because the archdemon is a decade dead. No need to conscript because there’s no Blight coming. Treaties give the Wardens the right to take what we need, who we need. These idiots forced this fight so I conscripted their victims. They had to do what I said, so I told them to stand. Next time they won’t need me.” He looked down. “Grey Wardens can inspire. Make you better than you think you are.”

Damon nodded thoughtfully. “That’s a good use of loopholes. I admire it. This leaves us at a dead end though.” Emma twitched her head minutely and he started to walk towards her. After a moment, Blackwall followed.

“Wait, Agent? Inquisition, you said? The Divine is dead and the sky is torn. In events like these, thinking we’re absent is almost as bad as thinking we’re involved. If you’re trying to put things right, maybe you need a Warden. Maybe you need me.”

Damon eyed him and the path that the conscripts had left on. Seemed like a decent enough dude, and he was their best lead on the Wardens. And Emma had seemed interested in picking him up. “All right. You’re in. We accept.”

“Good to hear. We both need to know what’s going on. And perhaps I’ve been keeping to myself for too long. This Warden walks with the Inquisition.” Blackwall turned and headed for his makeshift camp.

Damon shook his head as he turned away and headed for where Emma had wandered over to a pier where a small bowl sat at the end. “Well we’ve got a bearded warden. What now?”

Emma smiled at him and bent down to pluck some of the blood lotuses that grew plentifully near the water's edge. “Now we just get a favor from a spirit of valor and then head to Redcliffe to talk to Fiona.”

“Spirit?!” Cassandra’s shocked voice sounded behind them. They turned to see her ‘power walking’ over to them. “Emma, do you think that is wise? Favors from demons?”

Emma shook her head and smiled reassuringly at the woman. “Spirit of valor. It's quite benevolent.” 

“I don't know about that, boss.” Bull mumbled as made his over to them. “Spirit, Demon. Same thing really.” Varric nodded in agreement as he followed him.

Solas cocked his head as he approached them. “I do sense a spirit’s influence in this area, however, what kind of spirit would be hard to determine without entering the Fade.” He turned a questioning look on Emma. “Are you certain?”

Emma wobbled her hand in a so-so gesture, at which Cassandra threw up her hands. “I can't believe this.”

“It's perfectly safe.” Emma defended as she laid the blood lotuses into the bowl. The air around them shimmered, then the pier began to shake. Damon cursed and yanked Emma backwards onto dry land. They all watched as the bowl tipped and fell into the lake then emerged and floated back into its original place. The air wavered and something materialized and floated above the bowl.

“Well that's just creepy.” Bull said shaking his head.

“Wait. That’s not right.” Emma whispered from his side. Her face looked pale as she looked at the bow that hovered in the air. “That’s not right. Ohno, ohno, ohno.”

Damon clasped her shoulder, gently jarring her from her panic. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s supposed to be a sword. It’s always a sword, it’s never supposed to be anything else.” She shivered beneath his palm.

Damon reached out to touch the bow but jerked back when it sent a sparking pain through his skin where it brushed against the bow. “Ow.”

Emma frowned and hesitantly reached out.

“Must you touch it? It seems foolish at this point.” Cassandra tapped her fingers against her sword with an expression somehow both smug and concerned. 

“It’s safe, it’s just not what I expected.” She gripped the bow and pulled it towards herself. It didn’t seem to hurt her.

Solas frowned, “Is that-?”

“Carved Iron Bark.” Emma breathed reverently as she ran her fingers over the polished ivory colored wood. Vines and leaves were etched beautifully into the wood in elegant spirals. It looked so delicate, but Iron bark was rare and coveted for its steel like strength. But steel could never match its bend.

Solas looked at the lake and frowned deeply. “This must be a rare spirit indeed.” He then glanced up at Emma with narrowed eyes. “You expected a sword, correct?”

Emma nodded and looked back at the lake, smiling. “It's beautiful, thank you!” She called out, her voice echoing over the water. The water rippled in response and everything around them seemed lighter. Pleased almost.

“Well, this is definitely going in the book.” Varric chuckled and he whipped of a small leather book and jotted down something with a piece of charcoal.

Still smiling, she turned back to Solas, who was now taking in their surroundings with a look of wonder in his eyes. “Can you sense any enchantments on it?”

Solas glanced at the bow and his eyes shimmered for the briefest of seconds. Damon did a double take. So elf eyes glowed when they did magic? “It has been enchanted to only be used by you.” Then he shook his head. “I can sense nothing else.”

Emma nodded and smiled down at the bow before securing it on her back. “So, on to Redcliffe?”


	11. Chapter 11

Turns out that Blackwall had a lot of things to get sorted before they could leave for Redcliffe and Cassandra insisted that they wait until the following morning to start the half day’s ride to the village. Emma tried arguing that they needed to get there quickly, but Damon shushed her with a gentle reminder that they’d be better late than dead on their feet. 

Supper that night consisted of a bunch of bass-like fish that Blackwall had caught in lake earlier that day. Damon had commandeered it the moment Blackwall offered it and after cleaning it with a quickness that caught Bull’s attention, covered it in stale biscuit crumbs and fried it in bear fat over the fire with some herbs Frya had sent with him. He fried some sliced potatoes as well, and basked in his pride as the group consumed every last crumb. 

Bull triumphantly shoved the last piece of fish he had been tusseling Varric for into his mouth and grinned at Damon. “I only ever saw one of those Orlesian chefs prepare a fish like that. Where’d you learn? Couldn’t have been on the road.” 

Damon rubbed the back of his neck. “My ma showed me when I was little. She always said that the gods gave us good food for a reason and it’d be downright disrespectful not to take advantage of it when we can.” He grinned and fiddled with the fish skull he had saved. “She also tol’ me that if I was tall enough to steal a bite I was tall enough to he’p make it.” 

Emma snorted. “I was always glad to be shorter than you when we were in her kitchen.” She jerked her thumb at Damon. “He was tall enough to snitch bites and would share with me. So I got the food and none of the fish guts.” 

Damon grinned, “Yeah until you turned twelve and your dad took you huntin’ for the firs’ time. Whole messa guts then.” When she shuddered he nudged her playfully. “You were adorable with the blood smeared all over your face.”

Emma scowled at him. “That was terrible and not adorable at all!”

“Shoulda run faster.” Bull and Varric both laughed hard, Bull slapping his knee in mirth. Blackwall and Solas both listened with amusement clear in their eyes, but Cassandra looked troubled.

“I understand the need to teach children to hunt and defend themselves, but why the smearing of the first kill’s blood?” She looked down into the flames in the pit between them. “It seems barbaric. Not to mention the correlations to blood magic.”

Solas made a noise in the back of his throat that sounded like disapproval but before he could open his mouth, Damon answered her.

“It means sumptin’ different for everyone. My ma always told me it was because it was a life for a life. The blood is to teach that it was a life y’ spilled. The first life taken to feed me an’ my own.” He looked at his hands. “You never forget blood on your skin. Keeps you mindful of whatcha doin.”

Cassandra smiled at that and Blackwall nodded thoughtfully. “Your mother must have been a wise and remarkable woman.”

Damon smiled wistfully. “She was. She had a hand in every child’s birth for a hundred miles around. Half of ‘em kept her name and they all kept her teachin’s.”

Surprise was clear on Cassandra's features. “She was a doula?”

Emma shook her head. “Midwife. Midwife and healer.” 

“Your mother was an apostate?” Cassandra hesitated, obviously trying to be delicate but not knowing how. “Or a hedge witch?”

Damon guffawed and shook his horns. “Depends on who y’d ask!” 

Emma began hiccuping with laughter. “Re-remember when she thr-threatened the truant officer with warts if he came by the farm one more time?”

Damon wiped tears from his eyes and straightened up, holding out a finger threateningly. “Ain’t no school gonna teach these youngun’s more than they’ll learn here. Life’s more than just sums and letters, y’hear? They passin’ their tests every year with flying colors. Ain’t no reason for you to come back. Iffin you do I’ll hex warts on ya where the sun don’t dare touch!”

“Your mother educated you? I knew you both could read and possibly also write, but...” Cassandra trailed off and Damon was once again reminded of the state of the world. Children of peasants were denied basic education. Maybe he could work on that. “By your mother?”

Emma smiled softly as memories of the loving woman who practically raised her when her mother passed filled her mind. “Aunt Gemma believed in us being the best we could be. No one should be deprived of a education, no matter where they're from.” She blinked rapidly as if to ward away tears.

Damon closed his eyes. “She went to a university in the city. Got a fancy piece of paper saying she was the smartest person there, then came back to the woods to help the people in them.” He traced the skin over his wrist where he had had her name inked… before. “I’ll die a happy man iffin I manage to be half as great as her.” 

“The Qun has schools.” Bull said nonchalantly as if just making a observation, but his eyes were sharp as he watched them both for a reaction.

Damon bared sharp teeth in a smile. “Schools everywhere, but not for everyone.” He nudged Emma with his elbow, non verbally asking if she thought they should or could start a school. “Hmm?”

Emma chewed on her lip, tell tale sign she was thinking hard on it. “Why don't Chantries have schools?” She directed at Cassandra. “If they are supposed to minister to all the Maker’s creations, why are they getting rich off of imprisoned mages in Circles and sitting on it… they aren't giving back… they paint their temples with gold and jewels but not a cent goes to bettering people's lives.” She looked back at Damon. “Why not a school? The Chantry has plenty of room… l’m sure I could convince Mother Giselle.”

Cassandra’s mouth moved but no sound came out for several seconds, when it did, her voice sounded uncertain. “I must admit, the Chantry has its faults and should be improved but it does give people hope where they could find none.”

“Hope will get you through the night, but hope and some bread will get you through the day as well.” Damon lifted a huge shoulder in a half shrug. 

Emma hummed in agreement but then looked down at the fire thoughtfully. “I wonder how much hope is offered by telling people that their creator abandoned them? Faith was always a big part of my life, Cass. My mother was a true believer.” She smiled wistfully. “She believed in a creator who never abandoned us… and at the end she was at peace.” She shook her head. “If there's hope to be offered… I prefer her Maker to yours.”

Cassandra was silent but Damon could tell that she wanted to defend her faith. The silence was so thick you could spread it on toast. Solas looked like he wanted to put Emma under a microscope and figure out a puzzle, Blackwall and Varric shared similar expressions of discomfort, and Bull just looked on with a calculating gaze. He nudged Emma and gave her a raised eyebrow and an unspoken ‘not the best way to leave things’.

Emma cleared her throat to get Cassandra’s attention. “I'm sorry, Cass, I don't know why I'm in this mood tonight. Everyone has a right to believe what they wish and I'm the last person to say whether or not the Maker is real or what kind of God he is.” She sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. “Everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head recently.”

“Amen, sister.” Damon raised an imaginary glass and blew out an exhausted breath. “Let’s all hit the hay. I’ve got a feeling tomorrow is gonna be rough.” 

 

 

The next day was bright and cheery as the last and Damon eyed the red sky suspiciously as he tried to light a fire. “Red sky in morning...” He muttered irritably as he tried, unsuccessfully, to catch a spark for the tenth time. The coals had gone out during the night and now he had to start it from scratch all over. 

With a sudden whoosh, the wood burst into flames, nearly catching the ends of his loose hair. Damon scrambled backwards and glared at Solas, who was folding his arms behind his back smugly. 

“Show off. Just for that you get to help me make breakfast.” 

The elf inclined his head and smiled good naturedly. “Should I be relieved that there are no eggs?”

Damon smirked. “Thought they might make you uncomfortable. Y’know, raise those pesky moral questions like, ‘is it okay to eat your twin?’.” He tossed a wink to make sure the elf knew he was playing while he swept his white hair back into a loose braid. ‘Y’mind makin’ some tea? Emma’s a real fright in the mornin’s without it.” 

“Uhhh… Damon!” Emma's panicked voice called from their tent.

Damon scrambled to his feet and burst into her tent, clutching the paring knife like a weapon. “What’s wrong EmTi?”

Emma was as red as a lobster, still sitting in her bedroll. “I…. I'm… uhh.” He didn't know it was possible but she turned a whole different shade of red as she made a complicated hand gesture that ended with her hands flailing above her lap.

Damon took a moment to decipher the hand waving before his eyes widened in realization. “Ah! I’ll see what I can find?” He ducked out of her tent and headed for Cassandra’s tent. He hesitated, but steeled himself and called out quietly. “Hey, Cass? Can y’do me a favor?” He heard a bit of shuffling but nothing more. “Hey, Cassandra?”

“Fuck it.” He inhaled as much courage as he could muster and lifted the tent door to duck his head in. “Cassandra?” 

He only had a split second to realize Cassandra wasn't fully dressed before there was a gasp and flurry of movement and then a burst of pain as a fist connected with his cheek, sending him sprawling backwards out of the tent and to the ground. 

“Have you no respect?” Damon shook his head in an attempt to clear it and looked up to see the woman crawl out of the tent and fling herself towards him, murder in her eyes, sword in hand and a long tunic falling mid thigh, her only visible covering . 

He held up his hands placatingly and tried to push himself away by pushing against the ground with his feet. “Woah… take it easy! I didn't-” his words were cut off as Cassandra’s blade settled against his throat and her knee pressed into his stomach. He swallowed and held his hands out to the side, closing his eyes and sending a silent prayer to the skies that she wouldn’t actually kill him. 

“You didn't what?” Cassandra’s voice came out as a hiss. She moved closer until her thighs trapped his waist against the ground. “Did you like what you saw?” The sword pressed slightly harder into the hollow of his neck, the honed edge splitting the skin.

He whispered, deciding it would be wiser to not answer that question. “Emma’s on her blood moon.”

Cassandra’s sword wavered. “She is a woman. Why would this surprise you?” Her voice lost a little of its edge.

“No, I mean, she don’t have nothing for it. She forgot to bring- so I was gonna ask you for-”

The sword left his throat and he tentatively peeked an eye open. Cassandra was looking down at him, the murderous fire gone for the time being and a puzzled expression creasing her forehead. “She did not bring cloths with her?”

“She, uh, forgets a lot. I usually have stuff on hand, but with all the, y’know, I forgot too.” Cassandra relaxed her sword arm and looked away thoughtfully, seemingly forgetting that she was basically straddling his lap.

He was going to need to jump into the lake if this continued much longer. He was about the ask if he could get up when a loud laughter startled them both, making them both turn to see the hulking Qunari grinning at them. “You know I love a good show, but do you always have the sword during playtime, Seeker?” Bull’s grin widened as Cassandra’s face suddenly turned as red as a cherry as she realized their position and scrambled to stand.

Damon held out his middle finger to Bull with one hand and covered his face with the other. “I’m trying not to get stabbed here, asshole.” 

Cassandra huffed and disappeared into her tent. Damon started to sit up, only to get clocked in the face with a bundle. He grabbed the fabric bag and muttered a quiet “thank you” that he hoped she heard as he scrambled back to Emma, avoiding a chortling Bull. 

Rescue completed, he slumped by the fire and held a water flask to his swelling cheek as he stirred the oats Solas had helpfully started. 

The elf smirked and waved his hand, making the flask freeze. “You seem to run into the good Seeker’s fist quite a bit.”

Damon snorted. “Ain’t nothing broken this time. I think I might be growin’ on ‘er.” 

“Like a fungus.” Cassandra mumbled as she passed on her way to where the horses were tethered.

“Hmm. You are bleeding though.” Solas poured some tea into a mug, not even trying to hide his amusement.

“S’just a scratch.” Damon grinned and started sprinkling some salt into the porridge. Bless Frya.

“Most men do know better than to enter a woman’s tent, Blot.” Varric poured himself a mug of tea.

Damon widened his eyes dramatically and gave an exaggerated look at the tent he and Emma shared, and then looked back at Varric. “Huh. Good to know.” Varric wobbled his head in a “point taken” gesture.

Emma shuffled sluggishly out of their tent and frowned at Solas. “Why do you have tea? You hate tea.” 

Solas blinked and glanced at the mug in his hands. “It isn’t for me.” He handed it to her with a slight head tilt. Damon would bet he was wondering just how detailed Emma’s knowledge of him was. 

Emma took the tea tentatively, giving Solas a wary look the whole time. “Uh.. thanks?”

Damon saw Solas’ lips twitch as if trying to repress a grin. “Worry not, Da’asha. It isn't poisoned.”

Emma’s ears turned red. “I didn't think that!” She mumbled defensively then took a sip of the tea as if to prove her point. 

“Well now, hardly the harmonious group I was hoping for if you fear poison from each other.” 

Damon grabbed at the empty air on his back and whirled towards the strange voice. He cursed the fact that he had left his ax in the tent as he looked over the stranger. It was a shorter man with golden skin, dark hair, light hazel eyes, and a truly impressive and impeccable mustache. The rest of the group grabbed their sensibly at hand weapons and stood, but Emma just squealed and dropped her tea.

“Dorian!” Then she paled. “You’re not supposed to be here yet!”

Damon figured that he probably wouldn’t need his ax yet and moved to stand by her.

The man, Dorian, smiled uncomfortably but spread his hands as if to say, ‘ta-da’. “I see my reputation has preceded me! Am I terribly early? I was worried I was past fashionably late.”

Emma frowned thoughtfully down at her tea soaking into the ground and began muttering under her breath. “But he should be at the chantry, unless it’s the other way, and then he should be at Haven.” 

Damon nudged her to the side to fret and stuck his hand out. “Damon Theron. You’re obviously Dorian. What brings you here?”

Dorian did a theatrical bow. Then straightened to accept the handshake. “Dorian of House Pavus, most recently of Minrathus, at your service. I'm glad to see someone in the south has some manners.”

Damon grinned. “I dunno about manners, just an appreciation for a beautiful face.” He performed a slight bow which was perfectly timed to avoid Emma’s attempted head slap. 

Bull loomed behind Damon’s shoulder. “Careful, Boss. Tevinters are bad news… Especially the pretty ones.” 

Dorian smiled. “I’m flattered. But, pleasantries aside, I am here on rather important business.” 

“You want us to help get the Mages out of Alexius and the Venatori’s clutches.” 

Dorian blinked. “Well, yes. Rather, I was going to trade that information for your help.”

“Wait, the what?” Damon’s brow furrowed. There were a few words in there he didn’t understand. 

“Yes.” Cassandra stepped forward, looking at Emma with a mixture of curiosity and disbelief. “If you would kindly explain what this is about, Herald?”

“Well, the Venatori are a Tevinter cult. Alexius is Dorian’s old mentor, who allied himself with the Venatori in hopes of saving his son. They got to Redcliffe before us and convinced the Mages to sell themselves into servitude to Tevinter.” Emma summarized.

Blackwall and Bull gaped at her, not used to drastic revelations like that yet. Solas and Varric accepted it with grim nods. Cassandra, Cassandra though, she whirled on Emma with a frustrated growl. “You knew? You knew all this time and still you dragged us out here? The mages are beyond our reach now! Why would you waste our time if you already knew? For what purpose?”

Emma blanched under the women's ire. “It… I… it’s not…” she struggled.

Dorian held up a finger, “If I might, it wouldn’t be a complete waste of time if you dealt with the Venatori? They do seem like the kind of thing an Inquisition might care about.” 

Emma nodded vigorously in grateful agreement. “Yes!” Then turned to Cassandra. “They are a hostile force on Ferelden soil! We can't just let that lie.”

“Then we return with a army.” Cassandra argued. “After we deal with the breach.”

Emma shook her head. “We have a chance to end this peacefully without casualties to any of ours.”

Cassandra opened her mouth to retort but Damon held up a hand to silence her. “Everyone just calm the fuck down!” He turned to Cassandra who was gaping at him like a fish. “If there is a way to end this without countless good people dying, then that’s what we should do. I know you don’t like mages, but if saving them means saving your soldiers, what do you think we should do?”

The Seeker deflated. Damon thought she probably didn’t even realize the issue was not wanting to deal with the Mages. “You are right. Finding a way to resolve this with little bloodshed would be best.”

Satisfied, he turned to Emma. “Okay, so what did you see?”

Emma ran her hands over her face and began pacing. “It's changed but… there's a rift in the Chantry… tranquil are being murdered and used for a ritual… Alexis has gone mad trying to save his son from blight sickness… and the Venatori want to capture me because of the mark.” At the end she turned to look pleadingly at Cassandra. 

“Don't forget the time magic, dear.” Dorian, who had been silently watching this all unfold, said as if commenting about the weather.

Damon scoffed. “Time magic isn’t possible.” 

“Oh- crap on a cracker!” Emma groaned and kicked at the ground in frustration and spoke to no one in particular. “I forgot we have to---” she started shaking. “I don't want to!” 

Damon’s eyes widened. “Wait, you mean- But no! Even if it was possible without creating paradoxes, you couldn’t change time without unraveling matter? It’s not fucking possible!”

Emma threw up her hands. “I know that! You know that! Thedas doesn't know that!”

Dorian eyed them warily. “Are they mad?”

Bull shrugged. “Most likely.” 

“Well, Thedas is gonna get a clue. Time travel ain’t real. Fucking germ spreading reality tearing bitches.” Damon muttered the last bit under his breath. 

Emma looked over at Damon then suddenly busted into a fit of giggles. “You know we are surrounded but people that can throw fire and lightning, right?”

Damon inhaled deeply and steepled his fingers in front of his chest. “Manipulation of matter is possible even without the- the-” he waved his hand at Solas’ staff for lack of a better word. “Time is a universal constant! Y’can’t jus’-” He growled and threw his hands up. “I refuse to believe in time magic until it personally fucks me up the ass with a cactus.” 

Emma shuddered. “Well, thanks for that mental image.”

Dorian smoothed a wince out of his expression. “It was certainly colorful. But I feel we’ve strayed from the point at hand, which is: what is your plan of action?”

“We go to Redcliffe.” Emma said at the same time Cassandra said. “Inform the council.”

Damon ran a tired hand over his face as the two women glared at each other. “Iffin they got something that looks like-” he worked his mouth like the word tasted bad. “Time magic, then we need to go to Redcliffe and deal with it before they have time to really fuck things up.” 

“Well, I'm glad that’s settled.” Dorian smiled, then held up a finger. “I however cannot join you. If Alexius were to discover my presence I fear it might go quite badly.”

Emma nodded and walked closer to the mage. “You are welcome to stay at Haven. We’ll return once we have more information, tell them Emma sent you.” She then enveloped Dorian in a hug, making the poor man stiffen in shock.

His hands hovered above her back awkwardly and he looked at Damon, as if asking what he should do. Finally, he patted her hesitantly on the shoulder. “Yes, well, although I appreciate the offer of hospitality, I do fear we aren’t well enough acquainted for… whatever this is.” 

Emma chuckled and released him. “Don't worry, its purely platonic.” She gave him a wink. “I'm not your type.”

Dorian frowned. “Ah. I see. Or rather you do I guess.”

Damon perked up. “Oh?”

Emma glared back at Damon. “Don't even think about it!” She made a slashing motion with her hand that Damon recognized well enough.

He tilted his head in acknowledgment. “Gotcha.” No flings with this one. 

Dorian’s eyes widened at the exchange and he backed away slowly. “All right then, I’ll… just be… going then.” 

“To Haven, right?” Emma asked, worry creasing her forehead and Damon guessed she realized how that must have sounded ‘round the same time he did.

“Yes, it seems rather crucial I be there.” The man bowed and turned on his heel.

Emma watched him go with her brow creased in concern. “I think I might have creeped him out.”

Damon shrugged. “Not everyone is comfortable with someone they don’t know knowing every detail about them.”

Solas coughed to cover a laugh. “Indeed.”

Emma winced. “Yeah…. sorry about that.”

Damon noticed Blackwall shifting and eyeing Emma uncomfortably. Interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we've been trying to get to Redcliffe for three chapters now. We'll get there eventually...


	12. Chapter 12

The second they finished shovelling slightly overcooked oat porridge into their mouths, they broke camp and headed for Redcliffe. The group was oddly tense but Emma figured it was either from the knowledge there would be a fight as well as tense negotiations, or the fact that she had accidentally let too much information slip. 

Things weren't quite like they were in the game, the gate was shut and there was a rift, but there didn't appear to be any time altering zone while they fought to close the rift. There was however a feeling wrongness as they neared it and it was pretty clear to everyone that it wasn't a naturally occurring rift.

The demons were sluggish and seemed to be disoriented so it wasn’t as much of a battle to clear the area enough for Emma to close the rift. It was just as spine burning, nerve meltingly painful as normal to seal though, and Emma’s legs gave out the second the rift popped out of existence.

Solas steadied her until Damon could get his ax back on his back and make his way over to pick her up. The mage took her marked hand before she knew what he was doing and cast healing over it, soothing the ache. She gave him a tired smile in thanks. The gate started to rattle open and the group trudged towards it, shaking off what demon goo they could. Sorry, Minaeve. She didn't feel like harvesting demon’s guts and wasn't about to ask the others to do it. 

Once they were inside the gates, they were greeted by a Inquisition scout informing them that the Mages weren't expecting them. After they thanked the scout and moved further into the village, Emma lifted her head off of Damon’s shoulder to talk to the group. “Hey, Blackwall, Varric, there’s a tranquil named Clemence in the Gull and Lantern. Could you get him, and any other tranquil out of here? We need to get them to safety. Offer them work in the Inquisition if you need to.” 

Varric nodded and adjusted Bianca on his shoulder, “You said they were being used in some kinda a ritual, princess?”

“Yeah, there's a hut down by the docks with all the proof we need if y'all can grab that too.” Just the thought of going into that hut made her stomach turn.

The pair marched off towards the docks and Emma let herself hope they could save them. She wanted to give them a bit of time to get the tranquil out before they met with the mages and Alexius so she nudged Damon to wander about the town for a bit. 

Mages were everywhere. Tents were pitched and scattered throughout the village. The Venatori soldiers weren't hard to spot either, and they made no effort to conceal their presence in the city despite the fact that they really, really-

“They should not be so bold.” Cassandra had a tight grip on her sword hilt, but fortunately kept it sheathed. “Surely Arl Teagan would not let this stand?”

Emma shook her head. “Alexius forced Teagan and his men out of the castle, he had to leave for Denerim to request the queen and king’s aid.”

They browsed a few stalls in the market, attracting quite a few curious looks until Emma felt strong enough to stand on her own again. It wasn't a total waste of time however, they found a nice stand that had a good selection of books. Emma was able to find almost a dozen books about the Hero of Fereldon. She was debating on which would be the most accurate account when she noticed Damon leafing through a few tomes himself. At one point his eyebrows flew up and he tucked the book under his arm before picking up another book.

“Find something good?” She tried to catch the title but his bicep was in the way.

“Mhm.” He smiled at her and… then picked up a whole crate of books and took them to the vendor. “How much for these?”

Emma snorted and picked two of the books, one of which was by brother Genitivi. 

Solas moved beside her, seemingly browsing the selection but she could see him eyeing the books she’d chosen. “For someone who knows so much of the possible future, you seem fixated on the past.”

Emma shrugged and tucked the books under her arm. “I like to make informed decisions.” Then she waved at his own little stack of books. “What are those? If I'd have to guess I'd say they were about magical principles and theories that you plan on going through to mark their flaws and write the correct information in a side paragraph.”

Solas tilted his head in acknowledgment. “Ah, it seems your knowledge of me is more intimate then I first believed.” He pulled a book from his stack and handed it to her. 

She raised an eyebrow when she read the cover. “Dalish Gods and Lore,” She read out loud, then gave him a ‘really?’ look.

Solas smiled slightly. “I thought you might enjoy it.”

Emma rolled her eyes and dropped the book back into his stack. “Considering that the Dalish worship the very ‘gods’ that enslaved them I don’t think they're the most reliable source, do you?”

Solas looked almost pleased with himself as he smiled. “Ir abelas, I wanted to know how far your knowledge went, da’asha. And if your opinion of me was based off of the Dalish tales.”

“My opinion off you is based solely on your actions, both in the past and the future.” Emma spoke quietly noting that they had a bit of privacy for the moment. Cassandra and Bull were looking over a smithy’s stand and it looked like Damon was still bartering for his books.. “All you need to know is that I have everyone’s best interests at heart, including yours, Old Wolf.” 

She whispered the name, but still Solas winced. “I’d rather you refrain from calling me that.”

Emma grinned cheekily at his discomfort and leaned in. “Well since you haven't once called me by my name, It's only fair.. What about Fen instead?”

Solas shook his head but there was a smile tugging at his lips. “You are impossible.”

Emma bit her lip to keep from giggling. “I could just call you egg-head until you grow some hair.”

Solas shook his head but the grin he flashed was genuine. “Does the nakedness of my head offend you so much?”

“It would do wonders for your looks.” Emma pretended to scrutinize him. “Think of how you’d look with it shaved on the sides and long plaits down the back. Judging by your eyebrows you’re a dark auburn right?”

Solas just stared at her for a few seconds mouth slightly opened. Then finally he shook his head in disbelief, “I am unsure if I should be disturbed at how much thought you seemed to have put into that, or that you just accurately described my younger self.”

“Wait! Really?!” She thought those were just concept drawings. “How young exactly?”

“Much younger.” Was all he said as he pulled the books from under her arm. “I will see that these are purchased for a decent price.” With that he turned on his heels and headed for the vendor, leaving her standing stunned.

She knew about several thousand fans who would be squealing their heads off over that little revelation.

A hand shook her elbow, jarring her out of her brain melt. “Hey, you okay?” 

She glanced up at Damon who was suspiciously book free. “Hmm? Yeah. What happened to your books?”

“Paid a kid to carry them to camp.” Damon shrugged, “Figured it’d be best to have both hands free when we meet with Fiona.”

“Uh.. yeah good thinking.” Emma was still a little distracted by… things... and she shook her head as if that would help clear it. Think about it later. 

“Riiight.” Damon gave her a weird look. “I saw Blackwall leading a couple people outta the city so we should be good to go meet Fiona now.” 

“Sounds good.” Emma started walking but Damon grabbed her arm to stop her. “What?”

Damon smirked knowingly and she immediately wanted to kick him. But instead of needling her like she expected, he pointed in the other direction. “The tavern’s that way.”

She huffed and changed directions, allowing herself the indulgence of a sharp punch in the kidneys as she passed him. Cassandra actually snickered. 

The Gull and Lantern smelled of stale beer and BO, very ripe BO. Emma immediately began to breath through her mouth to avoid the stench but the effort seemed futile. It was a heavy, cloying scent that just coated her mouth. 

She survade the premises for Fiona but the elf was nowhere to be seen. Were they too early? Too late?

“Welcome, Agents of the Inquisition.” A young redheaded woman bowed slightly. “What has brought you to Redcliffe?”

Damon’s eyes narrowed and he moved forward subtly. “We wish to speak with the Grand Enchanter. Where is she?”

The young woman scowled but quickly soothed it away with a fake smile. “‘Grand Enchantress Fiona is indisposed. But rest assured I am fully able to answer any questions you might have.” The women gave them a formal bow. “I am Enchantress Helena Arline, how may I be of assistance?”

Damon looked over at her and Emma raised her hands in a ‘I've no idea’ gesture. It was supposed to be Fiona not this Helena. Yet another thing changed by her meddling? Damon sighed and turned back to the enchantress. “Fiona invited us here to talk about an alliance with the Inquisition.”

Helena scowled openly now. “The situation has changed. The free Mages have pledged themselves to the Tevinter Imperium.” 

“A alliance with Tevinter?” Cassandra shook her head in disbelief. “Do you not fear all of Thedas turning against you?”

Helena bristled. “Thedas is already against us!” She spat, “All hope of whatever peace we could have gotten died when the conclave exploded and we were blamed. We were dying, Tevinter is our best chance of survival.”

Wow, Emma thought. The women was quite obviously brainwashed by Alexius’ promises. At least in the game Fiona had recognized that allying with Tevinter was likely a huge mistake.

Just then the tavern doors flew open and in pranced the man himself, followed closely by his son, Felix. “Welcome, my friends!” His smile reminded her of a snake. “I apologize for not greeting you sooner.”

Helena’s face suddenly transformed into glowing smile. Yup, definitely some hero worship there. “Agents, allow me to introduce our gracious benefactor, magister Gereon Alexius.”

Alexius smiled approvingly at the mage. “Yes, as you can see the southern Mages are under my command.” His eyes traveled over Damon briefly but his gaze focused on Emma, more specifically on her hand. She noticed both Damon and Solas shifting closer towards her. “And you are the survivors, yes? The ones from the Fade. Interesting.” Emma had to fight to keep from shuddering. 

Damon looked hard at the magister and Emma knew he got bad vibes from the guy. “I haven't seen any of the Arl’s men here.”

Alexius’ smile wavered for a moment. “The Arl of Redcliffe left the village.” He said with a flick of his wrist as he turned and went to stand next to Helena. The enchantress practically preened.

“Arl Teagan did not abandon his lands during that blight, even when they were under siege.” The challenge was clear in Cassandra's voice.

Alexius held his hands out to the side in feigned innocence. He wasn't going to get a nomination for best actor anytime soon. “There were tensions growing, I did not want an incident.”

Damon snorted but managed a polite tone. “Tell me about this alliance?”

Alexius smiled, “What would you like to know?”

Damon glanced over at Emma before asking, “When exactly did you offer aid to the mages? I'm somewhat confused. We only just met with First enchantress Fiona in Val Royouax two weeks ago.”

Alexius cocked his head in feigned confusion, then put a hand on Helena’s shoulder in a gesture which Emma guessed was supposed to be seen as sympathetic. “When the conclave was destroyed, these poor souls faced the brutality of the Templars who rushed to attack them. It could have only been through Divine providence that I arrived when I did.”

Helena nodded in eager agreement. “The Maker must have been smiling on us that day.” Again, Alexius rewarded her with a approving smile.

Emma was grateful that Damon had taken full control over the conversation, it gave her time to study Felix, who seemed to be watching his father with growing concern. She wondered how things would go now that he wouldn't be pretending to be sick to smuggle the note for Dorian. 

“What do you gain from all this?” Damon asked with a furrowed brow.

Alexius grinned like the cat that got the cream. “For the moment, the southern Mages are a considerable expense. After they are properly trained they will join our legion.”

“And we are honored!” Helena added eagerly. Emma just shook her head at the poor naive girl. You had to be either stupid or naive to think being used as arrow fodder was an honor and Emma was feeling charitable at the moment. 

“And you'd willingly sell yourselves into slavery?” Damon shook his head in horrified disbelief.

“It’s not-”

“Are you feeling well, Felix?” Emma interrupted with a meaningful look at the man, hoping against hope that he would take the hint. She put on a concerned face as he looked at his father and Damon, who looked near to growling.

“Quite.” He smiled shakily and took a step closer to the group as if to prove his wellness, only to let his legs collapse out from underneath him. Damon caught him before he could fall to the floor as Alexius shouted in concern. 

“It's nothing.” Felix said breathily and stood on wobbly legs.

“Come, Felix, we'll get your powders.” And just like that Alexius morphed from sleezeball to frightened parent. “We’ll continue this at a later date.”

“We look forward to it.” Damon assured them as Alexius lead Felix away. Once they made their way out of the tavern and were certain no one could overhear, he turned to Emma. “Ok, where's Fiona?”

Emma chewed on her lip. “I'm not sure.”

Damon ran a hand tired hand down his face. “It looks worse than y’ lett’n on.” He shook his head. “And there's a rift in the Chantry?” At her nod he sighed. “Guess we’d better take care of that first.” then, looking down at her in concern, added, “Do y’feel up to it? Y’ haven't closed multiple rifts in one day since all this started.”

She flashed him what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “That means I’ve had more time to heal. Took me a lot less to get back on my feet this time.” 

He nodded thoughtfully. “Iffin you’re sure. That magister guy gives me the creeps.” 

“He’s bad news, Boss.” Bull grumbled as he rolled his shoulders. “Everything happened like lil’bit said.”

Emma cocked a eyebrow. “Lil’bit? Really?”

Bull nodded, smiling broadly. “Yup! We all have nicknames under the Qun. If you don't it's just a series of numbers.”

Emma shook her head. “Honestly! Between your ‘lil’bit’ and Solas’ “little woman’ you’d think I'm vertically challenged or something.”

Damon stopped in the middle of the path for a second before catching back up, “Wait, if the Qunari in the Qun just have serial numbers does that mean they’ll pick their own name?”

Emma answered before Bull, “The Qun doesn't give names, they just have titles like Sten, Tallis, Viddathari and of course Hissad.” She pointed at Bull on the last one. “It’s basically just a job description. Tal-Vashoth place a lot of value in their names because it sets them apart from the Qun.”

Damon made a little fist pump. “I knew Cullen was tryin’ to be polite and I was missin’ something!” 

“Hmm?” Emma frowned at him.

“He calls you Lady Emma and shit but I was always just ‘Damon’ and I was wondering what was up.” Damon shrugged. 

Bull gave him an interested glance but addressed Emma. “You seem to know quite a bit about Qunari.”

Emma shrugged as they walked up the steps to the Chantry. “I read a lot.”

He shook his head. “I’d rather be punching things than have my face stuck in a book.”

Damon held out a fist. “Right on.”

Bull eyed his fist. “What’s this?”

“You bump it with your fist. It’s called a fist bump. You do it when something’s awesome.”

Emma laughed as Damon showed Bull how to fist bump properly. Explosion noises and all. “Save it for after the fight, boys.” 

“That would be wise.” Solas chuckled. The instant they reached the doors to the Chantry, Emma's hand reacted, sputtering to life and making her clench it into a tight fist and grit her teeth in pain. 

Immediately the group fell serious, readying their weapons and falling into a loose circle around her. “Should be just a few shades and wisps, but I'm not a hundred percent sure.”she said pulling her Iron bark bow off her shoulder. Time to find out how this thing handled.

“So let’s be ready for the big shits and hope for the little ones.” Damon grinned manically and grabbed the door handle with one hand, angling his ax so he could immediately swing it up if he needed to. Emma held up three fingers, folding them one at a time to count down. When she closed her fist Damon yanked the door open and the group swarmed in. 

The rift was pulsing and spitting in the middle of the Chantry hall and as they approached it, half a dozen wisps and shades sputtered into existence and charged at them with hellish shrieks. Damon and Bull headed in opposite directions to flank the creatures while Cassandra took up a protective position between the demons and the rest of the party. Varric pulled Emma behind a pew for a bit of cover as they both started shooting bolt after bolt into the demons and Solas cast some spell that tingled across her skin in blue sparks. 

Bull and Damon each managed to catch a wisp in the back as they charged towards Cassandra, who had begun beating her sword hilt against her shield the second the large warriors were in position. The pair of qunari moved on to the next pair of wisps just as the first shade reached Cassandra and raked it’s claws down her shield in an ear splitting shower of sparks. Solas combined his ice spell with Varric and Emma’s shots on another shade splitting from the group, slowing it enough for their arrows to hit true and shatter the demon back to the fade. Emma saw Cassandra pull her sword from the shade’s chest and relaxed. That was all of them. She reached towards the rift just as Damon started charging towards her. 

“Emma, behind you!”

She whirled, lashing out blindly with her bow at whatever was sneaking up on her. She caught a brief glimpse of the glowing green form of a wisp right before her bow connected with its head. There was a sudden shearing noise, like someone was cutting tin with a knife, and the wisp trembled and exploded into a shower of white sparks. She stared blankly at the scorch mark where it had been a moment before. How had that happened? There was a warm thrumming in her hand and she glanced down at her bow in shock. It was glowing.

“Quick! Close it be-” 

“Right, yeah, before more come through.” She let Varric watch her back and reached for the rift again, letting the pain in her hand reach out and wrap around the rift, forcing it smaller and smaller until it disappeared with a crackle and a blast of pain that exploded behind her eyes. She swayed on her feet and felt a trickle of blood run from her nose. Solas caught her arm to steady her and very seriously held out his other hand in a fist. She blinked at it. Was he-? His eyebrow arched. He was! Dumbfounded, she bumped his fist, wondering if she had passed out already and was dreaming this up. He pulled his hand back and opened it in a perfect mimicry of Damon’s ‘explosion’ and Emma thought that she had BETTER remember this forever. With that thought, she blacked out.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning for extreme gore and violence
> 
>  
> 
> Merr Crimath, here's a post -AntlersandFangs

Emma woke in a tent with a dull throbbing in her head. There was a light, constant tapping on the tent canvas and she realized it was rain. She groaned and threw her arm over her eyes, hoping that the lack of light would make the throbbing go away.

“How do you feel?” She jumped at the sound of Solas’ voice from the other side of the tent.

“Holy-” she placed a hand on her chest to calm her heart, then turned a glare on him when he chuckled. “S’not funny!”

“That would be a matter of debate.” He flicked his wrist and the tent lit up with a greenish-blue glow as veilfire lit the small brazier. “Here.” He held out a mug of something steaming.

“Thanks.” She mumbled as she accepted it and gave it an experimental sniff. The aroma of apples and cinnamon filled her nostrils with a hint of something else she couldn't quite place. “Do you carry a flask of cider with you wherever you go?” She asked as she took a small sip. Was that elfroot?

Solas tilted his head with a soft smile. “I find it soothing.” He picked up a book she hadn't noticed was sitting in his lap and began to read.

“Where's Damon?” She asked, sitting up. She realized that her armor was gone and she was wearing her soft cotton sleep shirt and leggings. It was a bit uncomfortable to think about the number of times someone had changed her while she was unconscious. 

Solas turned a page before answering. “He and Varric went hunting for our supper. They placed a bet who could find the best game. The Iron bull and the Warden Blackwall, I believe, are socializing with Scout Harding and her men. The Seeker has been writing reports since we made it to camp.”

Emma hummed and sipped more of the cider; her headache was starting to ease, so it was more than likely elfroot she was tasting. “Good book?”

Solas smiled and handed it over. “It is the one you chose actually.” She grabbed the book and turned it over. Sure enough, it was the book by brother Genitivi. “My curiosity got the better of me. I wondered why you would want a book on something as well known as the Hero’s exploits.”

Emma frowned. How could she explain that depending on the choices that had been made she could more accurately predict what was going to happen? “I heard a lot of different versions of the same story and am curious what the truth is.” She said quietly, running her fingers over the books cover.

“Hmmm,” Solas hummed and nodded. “People do tend to exaggerate and expound upon stories.” He conceded, then looked up at her hesitantly. “If you wish to know the truth of what happened I can offer a solution.”

Emma blinked then raised a eyebrow at him. “This solution wouldn't happen to be the Fade would it?”

Solas raised his hands as if in surrender. “It was simply a suggestion and as we’ve established, you would have full control. You simply would have to allow me into your dreams and I could guide you to the memories you seek. If I did anything untoward you could very easily will me away and that would be the end of the matter.”

Emma shook her head and laughed. “You don't give up, do you?” 

Solas smiled and looked down at his hands. “I find your ability to control the Fade in your dreams remarkable, seeing you are not a mage. It’s fascinating.” He glanced up at her, cocking his head. “Can you truly blame me?”

She was about to answer when there was a rustling outside. 

“Hey, is she awake yet?” Damon asked softly as he folded his bulk into the tent. He squinted through the light of the veilfire and grinned at Emma. “Hey, Sleeping Beauty! How’r’ya feelin’?”

Emma rolled her shoulders and flexed her left hand. “Pretty good, actually. Solas brought me cider.” 

“Ah. Playin’ favorites I see.” Damon wiggled his eyebrows at the mage.

Emma blushed and scowled at him as Solas inclined his head. “She is rather pleasant company, unlike others I could name.” 

Damon clasped a hand to his heart as if wounded. “For reals though, thanks for lookin’ after her.” 

“It was my pleasure.” Solas said as he unfolded his crossed legs and stood. “So, who won, if I might ask?”

Damon bared his teeth in a savage grin and Emma wondered if he had had fangs the whole time and she had somehow not noticed till now. “I did. Varric’s right skillful with Bianca, but he don’ know ‘bout huntin’ like I do.” 

Emma slid her legs out of the bed to test how they’d hold up. “What’d you get?”

Damon held out an arm that she could grab onto if she needed. “Well, Varric caught three nugs and a Fennec.” He paused for dramatic effect and she rolled her eyes. “And I caught two nugs and a bighorn.”

“You mean a ram?” Solas asked with a slight tilt of his head.

“Yeah, a bighorn ram. We won’ have to hunt for a week if we prepare it right, or we can give the extra to one of the villages we pass.” 

Emma smiled at that idea, the hills in the hinterlands were pretty safe for hunting again but it would take a while before the Crossroads fully recovered. She placed the book on her pillow then started to pulled on her boots that were next to her bedroll. “Well how about we go get supper started, since the rain seems to have slowed up for now?”

Damon grimaced. “You’re not cooking. I might, maybe, be convinced to let you slice meat, but that’s it. Actually, no. You’re gonna sit a good three feet away from the fire and read while I cook.” 

Emma stuck out her tongue, making them both chuckle as she scooped up her book. “Fiiiine.” She brushed past him out the tent flap and looked around the campsite. They were next to an Inquisition camp, probably Harding’s group.

Several logs had been dragged close to the fire pit to allow for seating. She commandeered the furthest out from the fire pit but close to a brazer, since there looked to be only a few more minutes of daylight left in the overcast sky, and opened her book. 

It was vague to say the least, but she guessed that was to be expected if it was written by someone who wasn't there from beginning to end. She did discover, however, that the Hero was a male Cousland. The book told of the family’s tragic betrayal at the hands of Arl Howle, and the Hero’s daring escape with the help of the Warden Duncan. Ostagar was spoken of vaguely and there was no mention of Flemeth's intervention that saved Cousland or Alistair, only that despite overwhelming odds they had survived the massacre.

Emma made a grunt of displeasure when they omitted the names of the companions. Only mentioning the Witch of the Wilds for Morrigan. Chantry Sister for Leliana. Sten was the hornless Qunari. Wynne was simply the Enchantress. Zevran was The Elf. Orgren, The Dwarf. Shale, The Golem. But the one that angered her most of all was Alistair’s title of The Bastard.

By the time supper was finished and ready to eat, she was ready to throw the book into the fire. Damon handed her a plate of roasted potatoes and ram with some sort of gravy he had whipped together before she could act on that particular thought. She ate and tried to keep track of the conversation but her mind kept returning to the book. She was pretty sure they were discussing the dragons that Cassandra had killed.

So far everything was vague, just saying that they had secured the Dalish alliance, not if they had sided with Witherfang or Zathrian. They had won the dwarf king Bhelen’s support, but it didn't say if they had destroyed the Anvil of the Void or had kept it. They only things it said definitively was that they had supported the annulment of the circle tower at Kinloch Hold.

“EmmaTi?” Damons voice pulled her from her thoughts.

“Hmm?” She looked up from her plate to see everyone looking at her with various expressions of concern.

“You ok?” He gestured at her plate which was still mostly full while theirs lay empty at their sides.

“Uh, yeah.” She said lamely as she set down her plate. “Guess I'm just not that hungry.”

“If something is troubling you I could-” Solas began but she cut him off. 

“No, I'm fine.” She blurted out as she rose hastily. “I'm just going to go on to bed. Goodnight everyone.” With that, she grabbed the book from beside her, turned, and ducked into her and Damon’s tent.

“EmTi?” Damon had probably started follow her.

“I'd let her go, Boss.” Bulls' voice rumbled. “My guess is something in that book she was reading upset her. Let her have time to figure her thoughts out before you charge in and demand to know what's wrong.” It was times like these that she absolutely adored Bull.

They camp was quiet for a bit but eventually the conversation picked back up. It was too dark to read so she tucked the book safely in her pack. She lay down in her roll and stared at the canvas above as her thoughts kept her awake. Maybe she could find those memories in the Fade and get answers. Surly it wouldn't be that difficult.

 

 

She woke with a splitting headache. Turns out that it's much harder to change your surroundings then to just keep something or someone out of them. She had been in her apartment that night and though she tried, nothing would change.

It was still dark out. Damon was asleep, laying on his back with his head propped slightly to accommodate his horns, one arm tossed over his eyes, and his chest rising and falling in slow rhythmic breaths.

She inched her way out of her bedroll trying to make as little sound as possible while she slipped on her boots. Thank goodness Damon tended to be a hard sleeper. She slid out of the tent and rubbed her eyes as she let the flap fall back into place. Maybe some tea would help her skull stop feeling like it was being crushed. She shuffled towards the slight glow of the fire’s embers, trying not to trip over anything hidden in the dark. 

Her toe clunked against something metal near the embers and she was relieved to see it was the kettle that had been left out. She rubbed her temples as she realized she didn’t know where the tea leaves were.

“Head bothering you?” Bull’s voice was low but still shockingly loud in the night’s stillness. 

She gasped and clutched the kettle to her chest before glaring in the direction his voice had come from. “What are you doing sitting in the dark?”

He leaned forward from his perch on a log and fed some twigs to the embers, coaxing a small flame to cast some light. “It’s my watch.”

She grimaced at the tension in her head. “Ah. Probably be my turn tomorrow. I haven’t had watch in a while.” 

“Probably not. Closing those rifts seems to take it out of you and now you’ve got a headache.” He reached out and took the kettle from her hands then pointed to the log nearest to her. “Sit.”

Emma didn't feel like arguing. She obediently lowered herself onto the log and dropped her head into her hands. Bull didn't say anything for a while but she heard him shuffling things around and adding water to the pot, hopefully some tea leaves with it. 

After ten minutes of silence his voice rumbled quietly. “So, want to talk about it?”

Emma shook her head and immediately regretted it as a stabbing pain radiated through her skull. “It just a headache, nothing special.”

“You know I'm not talking about your head, lil’bit.” Emma looked up at him and quirked a brow, making him chuckle. “You were upset earlier, something in that book got to you.”

Emma felt her face blanch. “It was just history.” She cradled her head in her hands.

Bull didn't say anything, but she heard him moving again. A minute later a hot mug was placed in her hands. 

The silence grew heavier as it passed and Emma sipped the tea. It smelled familiar, like elfroot, and had an odd burning sensation that made her grimace. But it helped and she sighed in relief as the throbbing in her skull retreated. 

Bull was humming softly as she drained the last of the tea. She felt relaxed and so, so much better. Bull took the mug from her and refilled it. 

“Thanks.”

“Not a problem.” He paused. “Would you let me have a look at the book? See if I can puzzle it out? I like a good puzzle.” 

She snorted. “It’s not worth the read. The ‘Hero of Fereldon’ was a friggin sleezeball and messed everything up.” She took a gulp of tea and winced at the burn. “Every choice, everything. Worst. Possible. Decision. They’re why the world is this messed up and I can’t even go back to slap some sense into them.” 

“So why are you reading about them if it upsets you so much?”

“Gotta figure where we are. It’s like… Like… Like a tree branch. One little choice can give you two or three forks. You follow one and reach another fork.” She moved her hands in illustration, then took another sip of tea when she realized he wouldn’t be able to see her well enough. “If I know what’s been done, I know what branch we’re on, and right now we’re on the most rotten branch on the tree.” She drank the last of her tea and sighed. “I dunno know if I can even fix it or if I’m just takin’ a saw to the whole mess right now.” 

Her headache was gone and she felt sleepily fuzzy. She leaned over to rest on the log. “Gotta try and fix it anyway. Save who I can despite that… that…”

“Bastard?” Bull draped something soft and warm over her.

“Yeah.” Maybe she'd just lay here a minute then do back to bed. The fire was really nice and warm…

 

“Emma?” There was a gentle shake on her shoulder. “EmTi, wake up.” Emma blinked blurry eyes and looked up to find Damon standing over her with a bemused smile. “Good morning. Watcha doin’ out here?”

She sat up and yawned widely, her neck cracking at the movement. Damon frowned. “Why do you smell like whiskey. You don’t drink.” He sounded concerned. 

Emma blinked again. Whiskey? Why would-? Her thought settled there and she glanced around, her eyes falling on the big Qunari who sat nearby with a bowl of porridge in his hands. “Bull? Whiskey?!”

Bull just shrugged. “You needed to unwind, I just helped you out a bit.”

“Dude! Not cool!” Damon glared at The Bull. “You don’t just give people alcohol without their permission!”

“I would have taken it back if she didn’t want it.” Bull looked a bit confused. 

“I didn’t know it was there.” Emma was a bit worried that Damon might haul back and punch him. “I don’t know what it tastes like.” 

Bull gaped at her. “You’ve never had a drink?” At Emma’s head shake he laughed. “Explain how a grown woman has never drank before? I mean you're obviously not a Chantry sister.

“Lots of people don’t drink for lots of reasons.” Damon said quietly and deathly seriously. 

Emma dropped her head into her hands and groaned. “Oh, no. I was chatty.”

Bull chuckled. “Believe it or not I wasn't trying to get you to talk. But don't worry, you just said a bunch of stuff about tree branches and how the Hero of Fereldon was a bastard.”

“That’s good. Otherwise I would have had to feed you to the dragon.” She smiled halfheartedly.

“There’s a dragon around here?” Damon’s head snapped towards her. 

“A dragon?” The delight in Bull’s voice matched Damon’s in an unsettling manner. 

“Crap!” She shook her head and held up a hand. “I’m having breakfast first.” 

 

 

The air smelled like dragons. At least that's what Bull said, but all Emma smelled was sulfur. Yup that disgusting, rotten egg, sulfur smell. The air was heavy with the scent and the ground occasionally trembled faintly. She saw Damon crouch at one point and press the flat of his hand against the earth. 

His brow furrowed. “Feels like I should have brought a cup of water.” 

Emma snorted at the reference and he flashed a manic grin at her. She’d have to worry about his adrenaline seeking ways later. Right now, they were creeping into the dragonling infested valley, hoping to find a way past them to the dragon without exhausting themselves by fighting all of the horse sized creatures. Damon dropped to his stomach and elbow crawled to the edge of an outcrop, peering out through some brush. 

After a few minutes he wiggled back and began signing his plan to her with short, subdued gestures. “There’s a clear path around the edge of the valley, it’ll take longer, but they seems to avoid the shaded areas by the cliffs.”

She signed back, ignoring the holes being burnt into the side of their heads by the eyes of the group. “Can we get everyone around quiet enough?”

He wavered his hand. “Probably.” 

She shrugged and tossed him a thumbs up. Probably would have to be good enough.

Damon held up his index fingers by his cheeks and then pointed them towards the western cliff face. “Let’s go.” 

She pulled a brown hood over her hair as Damon motioned for the group to follow him. Solas was giving her an odd look so she signed, “Let’s go, egg head.” He gave her hands a frustrated but hungry look and she knew that he’d be asking her about sign language the second he had a chance. He probably hated not knowing what she was saying as much as he was excited about the prospect of learning something new. 

The group crept along the shadow of the cliff, a single, silent line of tension. The dragonlings were basking in the sunny area in the center, oblivious to their presence. There was a sudden heaviness to the air and the ground trembled as the high dragon leaped off of it’s hidden perch far above their heads and swept over the valley and to the next. The group halted to gape after the massive beast and there was a long moment of stillness after it had vanished. Damon caught her eye and signed emphatically. “Fucking big!”

“Told you so.” She shrugged with her gestures and he grinned with the slightest hint of a snarl.

The group managed to make it to the end of the cliff face without incident, whether because they really were the sneakiest sneaks to ever sneak, or by some divine interference, Emma didn’t know. But after a few more tense, silent minutes filled with itchy noses and too many leaves in her hair, they finally made it past the sleeping dragonlings and to the basin where the high dragon rested. 

Solas caught Damon’s elbow and murmured in his ear barely loud enough for Emma to catch. “I can cast a silencing spell to keep the dragonlings from hearing the battle and joining, but it will attract her attention the moment I do.” 

“Where do you need to be?” 

Solas pointed at a spot that would give him a vantage point over the path between the valley and basin. Damon considered it for a moment before signing to Emma. “Take Blackwall and go guard Solas while he casts. We’re going to try and flank her and take out a wing.”

Emma nodded and tapped Blackwall’s shoulder, motioning for him to follow her and Solas. She signed one last thing, “Good luck.”

Damon made a wry face as she slipped into the brush after Solas. The mage moved to the spot he had pointed out and watched the progress of the other group. Emma moved beside him and nocked an arrow, ready to aim at a moment’s notice. Solas’ eyes narrowed and he looked to be counting to himself as he watched the group stealthily round the massive beast. Blackwall adjusted his grip on his shield and glanced at the sky, mouthing a prayer before focusing back on their surroundings. 

“Now.” Solas murmured and slammed his staff into the ground. He threw out a hand in an arcing gesture over their heads. A red ribbon of light followed the motion, spreading into a dome that covered the basin and hit the earth with a sudden increase of pressure that made Emma’s ears pop. That wasn't like any spell she remembered from the games.  
The dragon’s head lifted and turned towards them and there was a ripple of movement in it’s sinuous neck. Emma drew her bow back, heart pounding in her ears. Suddenly the dragon roared, a horrendous shriek that seemed to pulse against her eyes. The dragon’s head whipped towards its side and she let an arrow loose, somehow managing to catch it in the open mouth. The beast shrieked and flung itself to the side, dragging a wing by no more than a strip of flesh. Damon and Bull had grounded it. 

She let out a sigh of relief and loosed another arrow, this one bouncing harmlessly off the dragon’s spinal scales. She could see Bull and Damon charging around the side of the beast, trying to reach the other wing before it could gather its wits. Cassandra was banging her shield, wisely situated by a boulder she could duck behind if the dragon decided to spit some fire. The dragon shrieked and snaked it’s head towards the noise, snapping it’s jaws as it began to gather it’s legs under its bulk for a lunge. A bolt from Bianca nailed the beast in the nostril but Emma couldn’t see where the dwarf was hiding. 

Cover fire. She had to help lay down cover fire. Keep it distracted. Solas handed her an arrow and she automatically nocked it, drew, and fired. It wouldn’t hurt the- 

The arrow connected with the dragon’s scales with an explosion of ice crystals that fractaled across the plated hide and shattered off, leaving an exposed patch of steaming flesh.

She whooped and grabbed the next arrow Solas handed her, this time noticing the shimmering rune on the arrowhead.

The dragon shrieked, infuriated, and turned its head towards them, hissing as it moved its considerable bulk behind itself. It inhaled and drew it’s head up, up, up, and a sulfurous glow flickered in its jaws. Blackwall knelt behind his shield and dragged her down with him, tucking her between him and the enchanted steel as he braced for impact.

“Solas!”

The whole word was fire. Fire and heat and the roar of flames licking past them in eye searing brightness. As suddenly as they started, the flames ceased, leaving them stranded in a charred waste, ash and smoke wafting around them in hot, choking swirls. She could hear the dragon shrieking in pain and hoped the warriors had managed to clip it’s other wing. She squirmed out of Blackwall’s grip and peeked out from behind the shield, searching for Solas. 

The mage was just letting the last shimmers of a barrier spell fade from his fingertips. Thank God, he was alright. He glanced at her before breaking out into a stream of elvhen curses and yanking his charred, smoking sweater from his body.

Emma allowed herself a moment to remember that to laugh at later before readying her bow again. The dragon was dragging both wings now, its head snaking around it’s own body as it circled to try and snap at Bull, who was scrambling after its hind legs and away from its teeth as fast as he could run with a loud war whoop. Damon and Cassandra seemed to be taking advantage of the Dragon’s distraction by climbing up to a higher vantage point. Emma kept an eye on them as she waited for a clear shot. 

The pair climbed up a boulder and shouted to Bull, who changed his course slightly, beginning to bring the circling dragon closer. Damon knelt and cupped his hands and Cassandra braced a foot against them- He had better not be- The dragon circled one more time and a tattered wing brushed the rock the pair was standing on. Damon heaved, Cassandra leaped, and the Seeker was sent flying towards the dragon. She hit the dragon’s side with a thud, and barely managed to wrap her arm around a raised scale to halt her slide. She was insane. The Seeker unsheathed her sword, and still hanging on with one arm, began plunging her blade into the flesh exposed by Emma and Solas’ arrow. 

The Dragon roared and tried to bite at the pain, but it was too close to its neck for it to reach with its teeth. While the beast was focused on one pain, Bull put every ounce of muscle he had into swinging his ax into the Achilles tendon of its hind leg.

Emma waved an arrow at Solas, “Do you have any more of that ice in ya?” 

He gave her a long suffering look as he waved his hand over the arrow head, conjuring the glyph into the metal. She immediately nocked the arrow and sighted down its length, waiting for her shot. Damon was running interference, keeping the dragon undecided between stomping at Bull or scraping at Cassandra. He was charging back and forth along the dragon’s side, swinging his ax against her scales when he passed close enough. Not with enough force to actually do anything besides make her look. 

Emma breathed in and drew. There. She breathed out and released. The arrow whistled through the air and connected right at the base of the dragon’s throat. The frost magic cracked the scales away, exposing important tendons, it’s trachea, and allowing access to it’s jugular. 

Cassandra doubled down on her stabbing, managing to hit something that made the dragon cough, blood misting from it’s mouth. Bull finished hamstringing the massive reptile and it staggered, it’s hindquarters hitting the ground hard enough to shake the earth and send Bull tumbling away. A crossbow bolt buried itself into the beast’s eye. The dragon’s head raised towards Varric’s hiding place on the cliff and it’s neck arched; it’s jaws spread and that terrible glow built up. Blackwall cursed and took an aborted step towards the dwarf rogue. He was too far away to help. Emma frantically nocked another arrow and let loose, trying to draw the creature’s attention. 

Suddenly, the beast made a horrifying, gurgling roar and lurched, its neck hunching in on itself as it threw itself backwards. Emma’s breath caught in her throat as she saw Damon clinging to his ax handle, the head buried deep into the dragon’s flesh. Blood was fountaining around him in bright, arterial red as he fumbled with his spare sword. Cassandra leaped off of the dragon, rolling away from the thrashing beast. Bull caught her and dragged her to her feet and they started to charge around the writhing hulk to aid Damon. Damon finally managed to grip his sword and stabbed it into the dragon’s throat. He swung his body out away from the dragon, and swung back in, using the momentum from the swing to hit his sword hilt with both feet, driving it all the way past the hilt into the dragon’s neck. Another fountain of crimson spewed out, coating him completely and the dragon let out a miserable keen as it crashed onto its side. Its chest heaved twice and then the dragon died with a quiet gurgle. 

Emma whooped and threw her arms around Blackwall, who happened to be the closest. “We did it! We freaking did it!”

“Uh, yes, my lady.” She looked up to see the man blushing terribly, even though there was the faintest smile tugging at his lips.

She released her hold and backed away sheepishly. “Sorry.”

There was laughter behind them and she turned to see Solas grinning and shaking his head. She stuck her tongue out at him in a not-at-all-childish display that only succeeded in making him laugh harder.

Emma slung her bow back onto her shoulder and began to make her way down the steep incline, sliding the last few feet, then running towards the others.

“Did you see that?” Damon grabbed Bull’s shoulders and shook him ecstatically. “Did you see the way she moved?”

“That gurgle before the flames?” Bull gripped Damon’s arms and laughed. “Did you hear it?”

Damon bared his teeth in a half snarl, half smile. “Damn! I feel alive!”

“Alive!” Bull reared back and headbutted Damon, who whooped and returned the gesture, cracking their skulls and horns together with a loud clack that had them both staggering backwards. Damon laughed and slung a friendly, but not at all pulled, punch at The Iron Bull’s shoulder, who returned it with just as much gusto. They both shook it off and pulled each other into a happy, rib crushing hug.

“If you two are through?” Despite her stern tone, Cassandra's face was flushed and smiling. “The inquisition could use some of these materials; Harritt could craft excellent armor from the hide.

“Yes! Yes!” Damon nodded, then grasped Cassandra’s shoulder and pointed at her emphatically. “You. Are the baddest mofo ever! You’re fucking amazing! That idea with the sword and the climbing! You were a beautiful, terrifying sight and I am lucky to have seen you!”

Cassandra’s ears turned red and she smiled. “I’m glad you think so, but you are getting blood in my hair.”

Damon snatched his hand away with an apology before he realized that she was already covered in dragon blood. He broke into giggles. “Let’s get this dragon chopped before I crash. Dibs on a tooth.”

The warriors huddled up to decide on how to approach butchering the corpse while Emma sucked up the courage to walk to the body of the great being. It was so much bigger than she had ever imagined. Nothing could have prepared her for how massive it was. She couldn’t imagine having to fight this thing up close. She rested a hand against its hide, feeling oddly close to tears. 

This creature was a thing of legends and fairytales. How many times had she read or imagined of these majestic beasts and dreamt of seeing one herself? Now one of them lay dead before them and she found it hard to justify its death in her own mind.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and raised her head to find Solas looking at her as if he understood. “They were once more…” he spoke lowly as his eyes fell on the dragon's body and he shook his head sadly. “Now, nothing more then mindless beasts.”

Emma wiped her eyes dry as she stood. “Could they ever be restored?”

Solas’ eyes snapped to hers, his expression wary. “Not without the restoration of the Fade and certainly not for several generations after.”

Emma nodded and smoothed her hand over the hide once more before turning towards him. “Show me?” Solas’ brow furrowed in question. “Memories. Show me how to find them?”

Emma was startled by the suddenly brilliant smile Solas flashed her as he tilted his head in a slight bow. “Ma nuvenin, Da’asha.” As you wish, little women.


	14. Chapter 14

They made camp outside of the dragon’s basin with the Inquisition soldiers in the area. That meant none of them had to be on watch. Damon was determined to try and cook some dragon meat, reasoning with Emma that it shouldn't taste too differently than the alligator Aunt Gemma used to fry up. 

Emma had to stifle her laughs at everyone's confusion; apparently alligators weren’t indigenous to Thedas, and when described their immediate conclusion was that he was talking about a dragonling. Damon begged a tub of lard and flour off of Harding's cook, who looked at him as if he’d gone crazy when he explained what it was for, but apparently didn't want to argue with a seven foot Qunari.

Damon sliced the big chunk of meat into long strips, keeping the spices simple, salt, pepper and something that passed as garlic, egg washed and battered the strips with flour and skewered them on a stick. When he served it up, Bull was the only one who tore into it without hesitation. When he made a approving moan and tore another large chunk of meat off, the others tentatively tasted theirs. 

Solas politely refused and contented himself with a small bread roll and jerky, making Emma wonder at the extent of the differences between dragons of this era and the ones he remembered. Damon didn't seem upset though and even offered to cook Solas something else, to which the elf declined graciously. 

Emma fiddled with her portion for a few moments, torn between not wanting to offend Solas if he felt strongly about it and not wanting Damon to think she didn't like it. Solas seemed to spot her hesitation immediately and motioned for her to eat it with the barest of smiles. And so she did. The meat was indeed similar to alligator but had a sweetness to it that made it that much better. She closed her eyes and sighed in pleasure at the taste. It was almost as if she were back in Gemma’s kitchen. 

“Very nice!” Bull rumbled as he finished picking clean his third skewer, and rubbing a large hand over his midsection. “If you ever feel like become a merc, Boss, there's a place open in the Chargers.” He stretched, groaning as his back popped. “I could get used to eating this good every night.” 

Emma laughed and was about to open her book when Damon snatched it out of her hands. He held it out of her reach when she tried to get it back, shaking his head. “Nope, not tonight.”

“But-”

“No buts.”

Emma scowled at him for ten minutes straight but nothing she said would change his mind or convince him to give her back the book. Varric entertained them with stories about Hawke’s and his time in Kirkwall. Apparently Hawke was the purple version, had a good heart but was naive based on the choices that were made. Emma doubted Varric would ever be so fond of the woman if she was just a plain jerk.

After supper, Varric regaled them of the tale of how Hawke had to bail blondie ‘Anders’ out of a scrap with the Templars. Cassandra seemed less pleased at the story and Varric's fond tone when speaking of the ‘abomination’.

Damon stretched and glanced around. “Well, I guess we should hit the hay, headin’ back to Haven in the mornin’ right?” He directed the question to Cassandra, who nodded and rose from her seat as well. 

Emma rose to follow when a mug appeared in front of her. She looked over to see Solas holding it out to her. “It should help you sleep better tonight.”

Emma took the mug and sniffed it. It had a slightly minty aroma. She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Do you just have a stash of drinks and teas for different things hidden somewhere under all those layers?”

Solas’ lip twitched, “Possibly. You are welcome to check.”

Emma choked on the drink and gave him a shocked look. Did Solas just make a dirty joke? With her? “You’ve been spending too much time around Damon and Bull.” 

“That is entirely possible.” Solas conceded with a chuckle, shifting his weight and placing his hands behind his back. He then asked in a slightly lower voice. “Did you still wish for my assistance tonight?” 

Emma downed the rest of her mug of the mint drink and nodded. “I think so.” She mumbled. 

“I’d rather you’d be certain, Da’asha.”

She sighed. “I’m certain. Just... nervous. Last time I tried I ended up with an awful headache.”

Solas seemed startled. “You tried on your own? And woke with a headache?”

She nodded, embarrassed. 

“That is… remarkable.” His eyes flickered over her curiously. “Very well. If you are certain, I shall assist you.”

“Thank you.” She smiled and handed him back the now empty mug.

Damon caught her eyes and wiggled his eyebrows obnoxiously, signing, “Someone getting lucky?”

She very emphatically signed, “NO.”

“What is that you do with your hands? As if you are speaking?” Cassandra asked. 

“We are speaking. It’s called sign language. Back home it’s how people who have trouble speaking or hearing communicate.” Damon answered. “Ma taught us when we were real young. It’s easier for a baby to,” he tilted a c shaped hand to his mouth, “Than to say drink.” 

Cassandra’s eyes lit up. “Would you teach me?”

“Of course!” Damon shifted towards her and held up his hands, no doubt to go through the alphabet. Emma turned her attention back to Solas.

“Ancient elvhen had something similar,” Solas informed her lowly. “Although not nearly as complex as yours seems to be.” She saw the tell tale hunger for knowledge in his gaze. “I would also like to learn if you would permit it?”

Emma cocked her head, “You don't need my permission to learn something, Solas.”

Solas shook his head, his braids falling around his shoulders, and smiled ruefully, “It is polite to ask, Da’asha.”

Emma frowned, “Why would-” she stopped and looked hard at Solas before what was wrong clicked in her head, or rather on his head. “Solas! You have hair!”

He threw his head back in a full laugh, blood-red braids tumbling down his back. “You expressed the desire to see me with hair, did you not?”

Emma looked around them. They were at the camp; it was perfect in almost every detail, except that there was no one. No Inquisition scouts on watch, none of the group stirring about, and the fire had a greenish tint to it that wouldn't be natural. “We’re in the Fade?” She gawked, “but how-” she stopped as foggy memories of bidding everyone goodnight and going to her and Damon’s tent filled her mind.

Solas smiled approvingly. “You were quick to realize, Da’asha.” He waved his hand and a bench materialized next to them. He motioned for her to sit. “Not even accomplished Mages notice so quickly.”

Emma took the invitation and sat next to him, unable to take her eyes off the braids that trailed down his back. It was just like the concept drawings she’d seen. He had many small braids tied together near the top of his skull and the hair on both sides of his head was shaved, revealing his ears, which were pierced.

“See something you like?” Solas’ teasing tone snapped her out of her blatant admiration. She dropped her head in embarrassment, her entire face and neck heating with a blush.  
“I’m…sorry uh… youshouldgrowitbackitlooksgoodlikethatandyoudstopgettingteasedaboutitandyoureallylookyounger.” She started to ramble but Solas’ laughter made her clamp her hands firmly over her mouth and close her eyes in frustration with herself.

“Peace, da’asha,” he chuckled, reaching out and tilting her head up with his fingers. “I was only jesting.”

She made herself try to relax but she couldn't shake the feeling that his fingers lingered on her face, but that was just her imagination, right? Because he wasn't touching her now. “Sorry.” She said lamely.

“No need to apologize,” Solas tone was still mirthful as he straightened in his seat. “Perhaps we should move on to the purpose of why we are here?” He gestured to their surroundings. “Show me how you tried to find the memories you seek.”

Emma nodded, thankful for the change of subject and closed her eyes thinking hard about the Hero of Fereldon and the game’s details she remembered. She made herself want to see what happened at the temple of sacred ashes. She wasn't at it long before Solas grabbed her shoulder. 

“Stop!” She opened her eyes to find his worried gaze on her. “I could feel the strength of your will pouring into the Fade, Da’asha.” He shook his head almost in disbelief. “The Fade responds to you willingly but the memories you seek are simply not there to find.”

Emma frowned. “But they should be, Cousland and the Warden Alistair discovered the temple of sacred ashes.”

Solas looked down at her thoughtfully. “Is that what you were doing? Pulling from your own mind on what you believe happened?”

Emma blanched realizing her mistake. “Yeah.”

Solas shook his head and smiled. “Come.” He gestured for her to stand and lead her to a wooded area. “You already have something in your mind about what happened and how, you are willing the Fade to show you that and the memories you seek all at once,” he stopped under a large birch tree and motioned for her to give him her hand. “You are contradicting yourself.”

“Thus the headache.” Emma concluded, shaking her own head. How could she have been so stupid? Anything could have happened at the temple that the games didn't depict. The Warden could have made completely different choices. Despite everything that had happened, everything that she changed, she still hadn't learned that nothing was set in stone. “So, how do I fix it?” She asked as she placed her hand in his. 

Solas pulled her forward and laid her hand on the birch. “Let go of all thoughts and ideas in your mind and focus on three key things that you wish to know.”

Emma frowned. “Three things? The Warden? Ashes. Temple.”

Solas chuckled, “ Close your eyes.” When she did she felt him shift beside her and his voice murmured directly by her ear, his breath warm against her skin. “Think them. Project them into the Fade. Ask.”

The warden. Ashes. Temple. Warden. Ashes. Temple. Warden. Ashes. Temple. Warden- “Open your eyes, Da’somniari.” Little dreamer.

Emma opened her eyes to find them both standing in the temple in front of the Urn of Sacred Ashes. She glanced down to find Cousland and a much younger Leliana arguing about what to do with the Urn. She clamped her hand over her mouth in shock when Cousland drew a dagger the second Leliana turned her back. He stabbed her from behind and let her fall to the ground where she lay crumpled against the cold stone, gasping in pain and shock.

Alistair rushed forward and cradled her head in his lap, glaring up at Cousland and demanding how he could have done such a thing. Cousland ignored him and climbed the dais, walking straight through them and to the Urn. He poured the blood onto the ashes, but not before stuffing a handful into a pouch.

Emma felt tears on her cheeks as she saw the anguish in Alistair's face as he tried to stem the bleeding in Leliana's back.

“Enough of this, Da’asha.” Solas shook her slightly. The scene wavered and then disappeared entirely. They were standing in a field of heather. She realized that Solas had his arms wrapped around her shoulders and was making little shushing noises as her tears fell freely. “Shhh… it is over.”

Emma didn't know why, but that made her tears transform into full blown sobs. Solas arms tightened and the next thing she knew her head was buried into his shoulder, as he stroked her hair. When she calmed, she noticed that Solas was humming. She would have laughed at the absurdity of it. The Dread Wolf humming to her, who’d have thought?  
Emma pulled away and wiped her eyes with her sleeves. “Ugh… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to.”

Solas handed her a handkerchief that he literally pulled out of the air. “Do not apologize.” As she dried her face he cocked his head. “Why would you wish to look for memories of betrayal?”

Emma closed her eyes and shook her head. “It shouldn't have happened that way.” She said quietly. “I needed to know.”

Solas looked at her contemplatively as she shifted her weight from one foot to another. “I am here if you wish to talk about it.” Emma's eyes snapped up. She expected more questions, not this easy acceptance.

“I... thank you!” She turned around and sat on a log that was close by. “So…. um, what now?”

Solas smiled and sat down next to her. “Now, I believe I asked if you would allow me to learn your language of signs.”

Emma smiled at the eager look in his eyes. “You really want to learn a language no one but Damon and I know?”

Solas smiled and nodded. “I would like to learn as much as I can about you.”

‘About you’? Emma blinked, then schooled her head. You plural. Makes sense. “Well I don't see why you can't learn it.

Solas cocked his head. “You truly don't mind?”

“Why would I mind?”

Solas didn't answer. Instead he reached over and pressed his hand gently against her cheek, making her freeze in shock. “Relax.” His whisper seemed to come from every direction, and seeped into her body. She suddenly felt heavy, but not uncomfortably so. Solas’ right hand moved up towards her temple, the fingers of his left gently tangling through her hair as he cupped the back of her head. 

“Solas?” Her voice didn't want to respond and his name came out in a whisper. 

“Shhh.” He whispered back. He pulled forward until their foreheads touched together. Suddenly the world began to spin, she felt both light and heavy, full and empty. And she could feel…. Solas? 

Her eyes snapped open and Solas’ eyes were right there. Their foreheads pressed together, his hand tangled in her hair. “Um… what… uh?”

Solas released her suddenly and she almost fell backwards off the log at the sudden loss of contact.”Ir abalas, da’asha.” At the sound of his conflicted voice, Emma looked up to find him now standing a few feet away and looking entirely too uncomfortable. “I took more than you were willing to give.”

Emma frowned, “I… what?”

Solas now looked like he’d rather be anywhere but there. “I thought you understood but….” he shook his head in what looked like anger, his braids now completely gone. “Ir abalas, it won't happen again.”

Emma stood, shaking her own head in confusion. “Solas you're not making any sense. What happened?”

Solas groaned, dropping himself down onto a bench that formed under him as he cradled his head into his hands. “You truly didn't know? How could I be so-” he cut himself off and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I am a fool.”

“Solas?” Emma reached out a hand to his shoulder but he ducked away in a fluid movement that left him standing out of reach.

“Do you not understand?” Her turned towards her with self loathing etched in his features. “I stole your knowledge.” He spit the words out as if they were poison on his tongue.  
Emma stood there for a second trying to comprehend what he was talking about. “What knowledge?”

Solas shut his eyes tightly as if he were in pain. “I stole this.” He signed slowly, his hands awkwardly shaping the words.

Emma's mouth fell open in shock. “But… you… I didn't.” 

“Yes.”Solas opened his eyes, hopelessness and self loathing within their depths. “You didn't.” He turned away from her and straightened his back. “I believe it's time to wake up!”  
Emma opened her eyes to the underside of the tent canvas. Well, that was…. Crap!

 

 

The trip back to Haven was… odd. Bull was still brimming with excitement over the dragon and it contrasted sharply with the subdued melancholy of Solas and Emma. Damon had thought that the pair were… getting along. He had even caught a few smiles given to the other’s back, but after that night they had been avoiding each other. Worse, Emma refused to talk to him about it, instead giving him watery smiles and leaving whenever he brought it up. He couldn’t even find the elf to talk to him. Solas was a master of disappearing.

But now they were finally home, Haven’s wooden walls looming comfortingly in the dark, and he was hopefully the brief rest would give the pair enough time to sort things out. The group split at the stables, each headed towards their preferred resting spots. Damon bumped Emma with his side as they trudged to their cabin. “A’ight?”

She nodded absently, adjusting the strap of her pack that hung on her shoulders. “Nothing a good meal can’t fix.”

“Mm. Maybe Frya will have cookies again.” 

“Herald, Damon! you've returned!” Cullen's voice called out from behind them.

They turned to see the commander striding towards them with a stunning smile on his face.

“Good to see you, Commander.” Damon bumped his chest with his fist in an informal salute. “What gives?”

Cullen smiled and clapped Damon’s shoulder. “I received a raven from Sir Barris this morning, they are about a days march from Tharenfal.”

“They’re making good time.” Damon redid the projected time frame in his head. If they wrapped up the mage mess quickly they’d have both armies hopefully within a week. 

“They are indeed.” Cullen gestured for them to follow as he lead them both towards the Chantry. So much for a good meal before duty. “He seemed hopeful that the Templars left at Tharenfal will listen to reason.”

Leliana and Josephine were already standing behind the war table when they entered the back room. The spymaster spared them a brief glance before continuing to peruse a letter.

The ambassador smiled broadly as they entered. “Our very own dragon slayers have returned, if the rumors are to be believed.”

“They very much are!” Damon grinned. “Fer once the rumors told th’ truth.”

Josephine giggled. “Truly?” She asked with a mock look of shock. “You really did kill a dragon and then eat it’s heart to steal it’s power?”

Damon faked a nonchalant shrug. “Was actually jus’ a leg, but close ‘nuff. I’m feelin’ stronger than ever.”

Josephine waved her hand in dismissal. “Details, details.” Then she smiled fondly at them both. “I'm happy to see you both back safely.

“S’good t’be back, My Lady Ambassador.” 

“Yes,” Leliana said put down her letter and drew their attention. “But next time, please do think of the Breach and the lives threatened by it before you take our only chance of sealing it into unnecessary danger.”

Damon frowned at her. “Have you tried tellin’ her no yet, Ma’am? I, for one, completely agree with ya, just so y’know.”

Emma huffed and crossed her arms. “I'm standing right here, you know.”

Damon pretended to be startled and looked under his arm, earning a small smile from his sister. “Oh, didn’t see ya there, Lil’Bit!”

Josephine covered a smile with her hand and Cullen chuckled quietly.

“Point is,” Emma shoved Damon playfully and turned her attention to Leliana, who seemed unimpressed by their shenanigans. “The dragon was a threat to the people.” 

Damon nodded seriously. “She was nesting and posed an immediate threat to the people around her lair. There’s no telling how far she might have flown to feed her brood. And what kind of a Inquisition would we be if we didn't do what we promised, which is to protect people?”

He felt a bit proud about keeping his accent completely out of the spiel and making the spymaster look a bit startled. Not much, but a bit.

“Now, I’m assuming you brought us here to discuss the situation with the Templars and also Redcliffe? Commander Cullen updated us on Ser Barris’ progress.”

And so the next two hours was spent discussing the invitation sent by Alexius for only the Herald of Andraste to meet with him upon their next visit to Redcliffe. Cullen and Leliana were both certain it was a trap; Josephine agreed but strongly advised that they shouldn't ignore it.

Cullen argued that Redcliffe castle was one the of most well defended castles in Fereldon, that it had survived hundreds of sieges and that there was no other way he knew of to get into the castle. When Damon suggested a sewer or drainage system, the Commander shook his head and said that there were none accessible that they knew of. 

Emma held up a hand to say something, looking over at Leliana with a confused expression. “Um, Spymaster?”

Leliana cocked her head ever so slightly, eyes narrowing. “Herald?”

Emma shifted her weight uncomfortably under the spy’s scrutiny. “During the Blight…. you, uh…” she shrugged. “Family tunnel?”

Something hard flashed through Leliana’s eyes before it was quickly smoothed away. “Ah… I will not ask how you know of my involvement, but,” she turned to Cullen and inclined her head. “There is a tunnel, used and known only by the family, it should be big enough to get my people through.”

“But that's not an army!” Cullen looked uncomfortable at the idea of sending them in alone. And said as much.

As things progressed, Damon saw Leliana’s gaze often drift to Emma when she thought no one was looking and he didn't like it. Emma kept glancing at the door as if expecting something or someone.

He let his mind run along the possibilities as he listened to the councillor’s arguments. Suddenly, he remembered something, or rather someone. Someone dramatic enough that he could see him bursting into a war room unannounced. “Hey, did that Dorian guy ever show up?”

The council paused their arguments and looked at him. “The mage?”

“Yeah, Dorian Pavus. He used to work with the guy or something. I bet he’d have information we could use.” 

Leliana nodded. “Very well, I shall have him brought in for questioning.”

“No!” Emma’s stern voice made the spymaster raise her brow. “He’s an ally! Not a suspect.” Emma rubbed the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “He’s a friend and can help your people get through the magical traps that have been laid in the tunnel, but you have to take him with you.”

Damon clapped his hands together and forced a brittle smile. “Great! We have a plan and a way in. I say this calls for a break so some o’ us can have a hot meal, a hot bath, and a soft bed.”

Josephine nodded her head. “Yes, you must both be exhausted, I'll have baths drawn for you both.” She said with a warm smile. “Thank you for coming to meet with us so quickly.”  
Damon exchanged polite dismissals with everyone, grabbed Emma’s hand, and pulled her out of the war room as soon as possible. The door closed behind them and he grabbed her around the middle and picked her up, breaking into a run down the hallway. “Quick! Before they change their minds!”

She laughed and feebly slapped at his stomach. “Put me down!”

“No! Not until we’re safely away!” He waved at Vivienne as they passed her and headed out the Chantry door. His ma would have a fit at him running in a church, but she’d be even more upset if he punched someone in a church. He slipped to a stop on the icy steps and set Emma down so they could walk the rest of the way to their cabin, a bit breathless from the game. 

There was a light on in their cabin and Damon was happy to see it. He slung the door open and called out to Frya. “Hello? We’re back!”

Silence. He pushed himself through the doorway and glanced around, his eyes quickly falling onto a bloody form laying sprawled across the floor.

“Frya!” Emma's scream echoed through the empty cabin.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for: blood, child endangerment, and possibly inaccurate medical stuff
> 
> Last chapter of the year! See you next year! - AntlersandFangs

Frya’s eyes were half open, her eyelids flickering and her chest rising and falling in short, fast breaths, but otherwise she was motionless. Her dress was wet with blood and fluid and Damon would bet his soul her water had broken. He knelt by her and felt her pulse: weak, but steady. He stood and grabbed Emma’s shoulders, shaking her slightly so she looked at him. 

“Boil water, a lot of it. Strip the bed down to a sheet, I’ll put her on it when I get back with the healer.” Emma shut her mouth and nodded, rushing to grab the biggest pot by the potbelly stove.

Damon rushed out the door and sprinted towards the healer’ tent, his blessedly long legs eating up the ground so it was just a matter of a few seconds to reach the nearby shelter and crash through the doorway in a flurry of haste and snow. “Frya’s having trouble with the child, she needs your help! Come quickly!”

The healer, a short, squat little man with graying hair, scowled at him. “It’s just a baby, they take their time.”

“There’s blood and she’s unconscious.” Damon hated the smug attitude doctors had about birthing.

“Them knife-ears been popping out their broods for thousands of years without my help. Dalish squat them out in a bush. Don’t see the point in wasting my time on one.” 

Damon felt a horrid buzzing in his ears and he clenched his fists by his side. “She needs help. Will you help her?”

The man waved him off dismissively. “She’ll be fine, and if not you can pick up another knife-ear in the slums.”

“Okay then.” Damon hauled back and punched him in the face, sending him crashing through the side of the tent and into the snow, where he lay still. Damon loosened his shoulders and breathed in and out. One. Two. Three. Then he grabbed every bag and tool he recognized and even some he didn’t before exiting the tent and sprinting back to the cabin. He set the bags on the table. 

Emma looked up from where she was bathing Frya’s face with a wet cloth. “Where’s the healer?”

“He refused to he’p. Said some shit, I laid him out.” He scrubbed his hands in some hot water and soap Emma had set out before crouching beside Frya. “I don’t know enough to help her.” 

“But-” Emma looked down at Frya with wide eyes, then took off out the door.

He carefully slid his arms beneath the elf and lifted her up. Her eyes fluttered at the movement and he spoke reassuringly to her as he moved her to the bed. “I’sa’right, Emma is getting help for you. We’re gonna take care of you both.” 

 

 

By the time Emma reached the cabin, her breaths were frantically fast and painful as the winter air burned her lungs. She slipped on the icy steps in her haste and banged her knee and elbow as she tried to catch herself on the way down. She grunted and pushed herself up and towards her destination. Solas hadn't spoken to her since they were in the Hinterlands. Would he even be willing to help her? What if he didn't? Frya was no one to him, not even a person.

She pushed all those thoughts away as she began to pound both her fists against the door. “Solas! Solas!” There was no answer, “Solas, please!” She beating kept her fists on the door, ignoring the blooming pain in her hands. “Solas, ma halani!” Help me!

The door swung open and she fell forward, most of her weight having been on the door. Lean arms caught her before she tumbled to the floor. 

“Da’asha?” Solas’ voice was full of concern as he helped her regain her balance. “What is it?”

Emma gasped in shock at the warm air filling her lungs and tried to force out the words. “Fr- Frya… the… baby is… som-something’s wrong.” She looked up at him pleadingly. “Please, I know... you're the best healer we have!”

“Wait here!” Solas ordered and Emma nodded, suddenly noticing beads of water dripping from his chin and dotting his face. As he rushed away, she saw the tub sitting in the center of the room with watermarks and puddles covering the floor between it and the door. And a very much shirtless Solas with damp pants that seemed to have been hastily pulled on. And if she wasn't embarrassed enough at this realization, Solas grabbed a new pair of pants from his pack, hands going to his waist and his back still towards her.   
Emma's face burned and she turned to face the door. She shifted from one foot to the other as she listened to the sounds of Solas rummaging through chests and shelves. She felt each agonizing second tick by until he appeared in the corner of her vision with a large box in his arms. “Take me to her.”

 

 

Damon was disinfecting the tools he had found in the healer’s bag. Well, some of them. Some of them were weird enough that he set them aside to deal with later, but the scalpels were definitely getting boiled. Frya was scarily still on the bed, blood slowly spreading on the sheets beneath her. He moved to her side and laid a hand flat on her stomach. There was nothing. No contractions, no squirming baby, just stillness. He counted to sixty, but still there was no movement beneath his hand besides Frya’s shallow breaths. 

The door burst open, Emma running through with disheveled hair and a torn sleeve. “I brought Solas!”

The elf rushed past her and set a chest down on the table before crossing over to where Frya lay on the bed, hand going to find a pulse. “How long?”

“We found her on the floor maybe ten minutes ago, don’ know how long she was there before that. Her pulse is jumping between 40 and 50 a minute, respirations at 25, she hasn’t had a contraction since we found her. Her water is broken, and she’s bleeding.” 

“Fenehdis!” Solas cursed, hands glowing and eyes closed in concentration.

There was a pounding at the door. “Damon, I need to speak to you!”

Damon jerked his head at the door with a glance at Emma, continuing to sanitize everything.

Emma opened the door and was nearly bowled over by the irate Seeker. “What explanation do you have for assaulting a healer? You broke his jaw! What-” Her words cut off as she took in the scene. “What is going on?” She asked in a moderately quieter voice. 

“Healer doesn’t think elves are worth helping. I showed him what I thought about it.” Damon pointed at the wash basin as he returned to Solas’ side. “If you’re staying to help, scrub up.”

Solas shook his head and let out a growl of frustration. “The child is alive, but in distress.” His eyes cut over to Damon. “If he’s not born soon either his heart will give out or his mother will bleed to death.”

Damon inhaled deeply through his nose.

Emma appeared nearby with a tub of steaming water. “Are you…?”

“I’ve only done it on goats, Frya is definitely not a goat. I…I don’t know if I can”

“Done what?” Cassandra’s arms were wet up to the elbow. Someone had taught her to scrub up properly then. 

“Cut the baby out.” Damon worried his lip between his teeth. “I done it before on th’ farm, but it was jus’ on goats. I don’ know if I can on a person.”

Solas’ eyes narrowed before he nodded his head in understanding. “It's the only chance we have of saving one or both of them. I can heal and minimize chances of infection as you work.”

Damon exhaled. “I didn’t find no sutures. Can you heal her enough without?”

Solas shook his head, then glanced over at Emma. “I'm still weak, run to Master Adan’s, get as many lyrium potions as you can carry.”

Cassandra spoke up. “I will do it, he will give me less trouble. I will be back quickly.” She charged out the door with a determined expression.

Damon laid out the tools and scrubbed his hands again. While cleaner than the barns he had worked in before, it was still no sterile environment. Thank gods for magic. He cut Frya’s dress open and washed her stomach and finished off by rubbing some of the potent spirits Varric had gifted him onto the skin. That was as good as it was going to get. He picked up a scalpel and looked at Solas. “Ready?”

 

Three hours later, Damon laid a squirming baby onto Frya’s chest. She smiled weakly and caressed the top of his head. “Hello there.”

Damon stepped away from the bed, feeling suddenly light headed. It was done. She was healing, the baby was alive. It was done. He went to wash his hands again. Again. There was blood on his hands.

He bolted for the door, barely making it off of the steps before he was on his knees and retching into the snow. A hand settled on his shoulder and he saw Cassandra’s legs next to him. 

“Are you alright?”

He shook his head and spat bile into the snow. “Blood on my hands. Again.”

Cassandra tsked and handed him a cloth. “But this time it means you saved a life. Two lives.”

He nodded but stayed in the snow. “I know. Sometimes the healer has the bloodiest hands. Emma used to say that… before. But it...”

Her voice was subdued. “It feels like the blood will never wash off.”

“Yeah. I know… I know what we do is necessary, that we fight for a good purpose. I’m just… sick of the blood.” He slowly got to his feet. “Thank you.”

“For what? You are the hero of the night.” She gave him a half smile.

He huffed a laugh. “Thank you for being here.” He gazed up at the Breach hanging ominously through the sky. The pair stood like that until even Damon felt a bit cold.

Cassandra bumped him with her shoulder like he and Emma did. “Let us go see what they named him.”

“Yeah.” He took one last breath of night air and followed the Seeker back into the cabin. Frya was sleeping with the baby across her chest and Damon could see from the door that her breathing was stronger. Emma was scrubbing blood off of the floor, hiding yawns with the back of her sudsy hand, and Solas was sprawled in a chair fast asleep, his head leaned back over the edge of the chair’s back. 

Damon felt a bit like curling up on the floor to sleep himself, but the scene was oddly heart warming. He moved to the side of his bed and looked at the baby, snuffling against his mother’s chest. 

“What did she name him?” he whispered. 

Emma smiled tiredly. “Gaelathe. It means perfection.”

“That he is.” Cassandra murmured. “You two go get something to eat, I will finish cleaning.” 

Damon glanced at Solas. “Should we wake him up?” 

Emma looked over and bit her lip, “I should probably get him back to his cabin, he might have mana exhaustion?” She said it as if she was kinda guessing.

Cassandra’s brow furrowed as she gazed at the mage. “He did use far more lyrium than I have seen consumed by a single mage before.” 

“I’ll go get us food at th’ tavern. You got ‘im or y’ need help?”

Emma shook her head. “I think I've got him.”

Damon tossed her a weary thumbs up and headed towards the tavern, grateful to leave Cassandra to clean up the mess. He felt foggy, no doubt over exhausted from a very stressful day, but he wasn’t fuzzed enough to not notice how people seemed to be scrambling away from him. He reached the counter and was relieved to find that Flissa didn’t seem to share the desire to leave him a wide berth. 

She smiled, though a bit strained. “What can I get for you, ser?”

“I need… food? Whatever you have available. For two. No, three.”

She hesitated. “Three? Then is… is Frya well?”

Damon nodded tiredly. “She’s healing and has a son.”

Flissa murmured something happy sounding and bustled away to get the food. Word must have spread pretty quickly, though the punching thing and everyone frantically running around probably wasn’t that subtle. 

A tray with two bowls of stew and another of dried fruits and sliced cheeses was pushed under his nose. He grunted gratefully and pushed several coins across the counter, not bothering to see if it was too much, and grabbed the tray. He made his way back to the cabin and set the tray down long enough to check on Frya and Gaelathe. They were fine so he downed his stew and flopped onto Emma’s bed. She could shove him over when she got back….

 

 

Emma watched at Damon headed out the door and blew out a breath, looking over at the ancient elf currently conked out in one of their table chairs. Cassandra was scrubbing the floor, humming quietly to herself and not paying them a bit of attention.

Emma bit her lip nervously and reached out to touch Solas’s shoulder, “Um… Solas?” He didn't respond, so she shook him gently. “Solas?” 

Solas’ eyes fluttered open, blinking several times before he focused his gaze on her. Confusion flashed across his features before he seemed to realize his surroundings. He lifted both hands to scrub over his face before sitting up and looking over to where Frya and the babe lay. “Thu ea ver mamae?”

Emma smiled. “She's good, Gealathe too.”

Solas tilted his head at that and glanced over at the babe. “She named him that?”

Emma gave him a worried look. Did she get the translation wrong? “It does mean perfection, doesn't it?”

Solas smiled slightly. “Yes, it does.”

“It's the perfect name for him.” Cassandra said with a gentle smile as she walked over to where they were. “How do you feel, Solas? That much lyrium-” she cut herself off but her eyes flicked over him in open concern.

Solas waved her off, “Do not concern yourself, Seeker.” He said as he started to stand. “I am well-” his knees buckled under his weight, causing Cassandra to reach out and steady him.

“Can you make it to your cabin on your own?”

Solas grimaced. “I would like to say yes, but I fear it might be untrue.”

“I can walk him back.” Emma offered. “It’ll be nice to be the crutch instead of needing one.”

Cassandra condeded with a smile and went back to cleaning up the cabin floor. Solas shot an odd look at her, but Emma just gave him a wry smile. He probably still didn’t want to be around her, despite coming to the rescue, but she knew he would appreciate being escorted by the worried Seeker even less. 

Solas nodded his acceptance and they began the slow trek back to his cabin, pausing every so often so he could steady himself against her arm. That amount of sustained healing magic really had taken a toll on even him. Snow was gently falling by the time they reached the cabin door, the flakes dusting across roofs and railings like powdered sugar.   
“You got it from here?” Emma shifted nervously as the mage fumbled with the door latch.

“I can manage.” Emma watched as he opened the door but he made no move to enter; instead, he turned to her with a curious expression. “You have surprised me with your knowledge of the elvhen language, Da’asha.” He then looked away as if he were upset at himself for saying anything. “Ir abalas, I have no right to ask.”

Emma shook her head at him and laughed. “Solas, it's fine,” She shrugged and looked down sheepishly. “I guess I just picked it up here and there.”

Solas tilted his head and small smile suddenly played at his lips. “You ‘picked it up here and there’? A dead language spoken only by the Dalish who often mistranslate and misuse words? Not to mention the horrible pronunciation?” She felt her face heat at being caught in such a blatant lie. How was she going to say that she had researched everything she could find online and in the games? 

Solas must have noticed her struggle because he gave her a sad look and held up a hand to stop her from speaking. “You owe me no answers, Da’asha.”

Emma nodded then blew out a long breath, lying to him wasn't how she planned on gaining his trust enough to convince him of a better way. “I was studying anthropology.”   
He hummed, his eyes burning with questions, but she could tell he was holding himself back. She looked away and shoved her hands into her pockets. “Why do you call me that? Little woman? I mean it's not like I'm a dwarf.”

Solas huffed a laugh. “I'm not in the habit of calling someone mine who isn't.”

Emma blinked, “That doesn't make- oh!” She slapped a hand to her forehead. “Emma or ma’: my or mine. I never thought- my dad named me that and in our language when it’s added to my last name it means universally stubborn.”

Solas’ lips twitched before his shoulders started to shake in badly suppressed laughter. “Ah, aptly named I see.”

“Ha. ha. ha,” Emma stuck out her tongue. “You're one to talk Mr, ‘Pride’.” She raised her hand to poke a finger to his chest but he caught it easily, turning it over to examine the scratches left by her earlier slip on the steps. She had all but forgot about them. 

Solas made a noise of displeasure in the back of his throat as he ran his thumb over them. “I'm afraid I can't heal these at the moment.”

Emma laughed and pulled her hand away. “They're just scratches, Solas. They'll heal fine on their own.”

Solas smiled, almost fondly, down at her. “You shame The Ancients. They would heal it for fear of scarring; their vanity was legendary.”

Did he just compare her to ancient elves? “Right. Good. That’s good.” At a loss for words she worried her lip between her teeth for a moment. She glanced around them and on impulse she signed, “Thank you for helping. Rest well.”

She quickly turned on her heel and headed back to her own home, but not before catching his bewildered expression and abrupt movement of his hands, as if he wanted to reply but wasn’t sure how.

Cassandra was gone by the time she made it back, and there was a bowl of warm stew on the table as well as a plate of dried fruit. Damon himself was laying face down across her bed, fast asleep with his legs hanging off the side. She yawned and set a chair by Frya’s bed and then set a glass of water and the plate of fruit on it so that Frya could easily reach it when she woke up. She let herself mourn the loss of a bath while she downed the stew, then flopped across the foot of the bed.

A noise attracted her attention and she sat up to see if Gaelathe was stirring. A glance at Damon’s empty bed had her jumping to her feet in a panic. Where was Frya and Gaelathe? Where was Damon? She took a step towards the door when she noticed the green hue of the lantern flame. Oh. She was dreaming. She let herself relax and looked out the window. Haven was empty of people, but she could see spirits floating about. There was a knock at the door and an oddly familiar voice called through the wood. 

“May I enter, Bright One?”

“Who is it?” She wasn’t about to let someone enter a dream door without knowing who, or what, it was. 

“I am called Wisdom.”


	16. Chapter 16

Wisdom?! Solas’ Wisdom? 

Emma hesitantly opened the door to reveal a matronly women more vivid than the game had ever portrayed. She was elvhen in appearance, her dark hair cropped short but tastefully, and was wearing flowing blue-green robes.

She graced Emma with a motherly smile as she gazed down at her. “I was curious as to what sort of creature made my friend doubt himself.” Wisdom bowed her head. “It is a pleasure to finally meet you child.”

Emma just stood there for a second in shock. In the games, Wisdom was never introduced until it was too late to save her. Solas was probably super protective of his Fade friend.   
Wisdoms laughter chimed like bells. “The wolf, would probably be upset if he knew.” Wait, did she just-? At the thought, Wisdom nodded. “We are able to hear the thoughts of others, as you have seen with the young spirit, Compassion.” Emma rubbed her face, this was kinda unsettling. “If you would prefer, I won't comment on your thoughts.” Wisdoms smile was warm and understanding.

“That would be…. appreciated.” Emma moved to the side as Wisdom entered the cabin and walked to the fire place. “So why are you more…. more solid? Other spirits I've seen seem more… wispy?”

Wisdoms smile grew was she sat down in a… loveseat? An actual loveseat. “I am much older then the spirits you have allowed to visit you thus far.” She gestured for Emma to take the seat next to her. “Older spirits tend to keep their distance from your kind for their own safety… but the younger are far too eager to experience the world. It is often their own undoing.” 

Emma nodded her understanding as she took the seat next to Wisdom. “Why did you want to visit me then? Wouldn't I be a danger to you?”

Wisdom leaned forward and placed a hand on Emma's knee, giving her a fond smile. “The simple fact that you are aware and are worried for my safety makes you a poor threat, child. And as to why I wanted to see you? I'm sure you can guess that on your own.”

Emma stood and walked over to the fireplace, staring at the sea green flame. “Because I know who he is?” She wasn't positive that was the right answer but it was her best bet.

Suddenly, Wisdom was standing next to her. It wasn't the ‘make you jump out of your skin’ kind of pop out of nowhere that Cole did, but it still made her somewhat uneasy, reminding her that spirits were their own species of beings.

“He has visited me more and more often, seeking my counsel on how to proceed.” Wisdom gave her a small smile. “You confound him.”

Emma laughed at that but quickly fell serious. “Do you believe what he plans to do is right? Good?”

Wisdom shook her head and looked down at the flames. “He has the weight of the world on his conscience. He blames himself for everything that has happened and only sees one way to correct his mistakes.” A sad smile played on her lips. “He is prideful and arrogant at times but his intentions are good.”

Emma frowned. She already knew he thought he was doing the right thing. “‘The road to hell is paved with good intentions’.” She quoted as she turned away from the fireplace and sat back down heavily on the loveseat.

“Those are wise words, if not your own.” Wisdom chuckled. “Your world must be fascinating to produce people as outstanding as you and your friend.” 

Of course Wisdom would know they weren’t from around here. Emma shrugged. “Every world has its problems, mine’s not perfect by any means. We had problems as well, just a different set of them.”

Wisdom nodded her understanding. “You have given me much to ponder, Bright One.” She smiled as she rose from the seat. Wait, when did she sit down? “I see now why he seems so puzzled by the both of you. Not once have you doubted my sentience. The rarity of it grieves him.”

Emma rose as well. “I think he’d be surprised if he’d just open his eyes. There are more good people in this world than he’s willing to admit to himself.”

Wisdom smiled sadly at her. “Good people they may be at heart, but until they stand against what they know to be wrong they are like everyone else.”

Emma had to concede that point. Most were afraid of speaking out against wrongs, here more so than on earth. And many more acted out of ignorance, like the Mages that- crap! The Mages! Her eyes snapped up to Wisdom, who cocked her head. “You know my end.”

Emma shuddered and shook her head. “That’s not going to happen this time!”

“How can you stop it?” Wisdom didn't seem upset at learning of her possible end, just curious.

Emma paced for a moment, “Would they be able to summon you if you stayed away from the Plains?”

Wisdom shook her head. “The Dreaming is not the same as the world awake, child. Wherever I reside in the fade I am susceptible to being summoned.”

Emma chewed on her bottom lip, there had to be a way, maybe a spell or- “The talisman!” She shouted in triumph. “The amulet for Cole!” She said, spinning to face Wisdom.   
Wisdom nodded solemnly. “Yes, that may work. But are you certain you should change this? What if the Mages lives? What of Compassion? Are you prepared for the changes that would occur?”

“I think if I have the chance to prevent suffering, I should do as much as I can.” Emma said quietly.

Wisdom smiled. “You are a rare thing.”

 

 

Emma woke with the same seamlessness that marked her falling into dreams. One second she was bidding Wisdom farewell, the next she was sitting up in bed and rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Damon was sitting at the table with a book open while he painstakingly carved something into the dragon tooth he had claimed. Frya was nursing Gaelathe on the other bed, an empty plate and a sewing basket stacked within her reach.

“Good morning, Emma.” Frya smiled at her from across the room and Damon turned in his seat to grunt at her before turning back to his carving. He was focused then.   
“Good morning. How’re you feeling?” Emma stretched and slid out of bed, her knee twinging with the motion.

Frya cupped the back of Gaelathe’s head with her hand. “Happy.” She pointed with her chin to the table. “Varric came by and brought us breakfast.”

“Varric is awesome.” Emma grinned over at them as she stumbled over to where a teapot sat and poured herself a mug. She really, really, really missed coffee. “You need anything?” At Frya’s head shake she stuffed a piece of toast into her mouth and headed for the door, snatching up her book before Damon could notice. “‘K, ahgo’adoa’ing.”

She could hear Frya’s laughter as she shut the door behind her. Her first stop was to the fortunately empty war room to grab a spare map so she could mark the general location off for Leliana. She asked a nearby scout where the Bard was and studied the map as she headed in the direction she had pointed her. She frowned as she wracked her memory for exactly where it was. She reached the room where she’d been told the Bard was working and went to knock, but paused when she heard voices. Should she interrupt or come back later?

“Another report already, Bull?” 

“Not quite. More of a list of questions.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I can’t quite get a read on that Damon.”

Leliana made a disgusted noise and Emma decided that eavesdropping would probably be a good idea. “Ugh, I can’t either. He answers all questions with the utmost sincerity but none of them make sense! There’s no such place as Virginia in the Anderfells, I’ve looked! I’ve looked everywhere!”

“Well, he did say his mother went to a university.”

“But the university in Orlais doesn’t accept Qun- oh. The Qunari universities? But that still- Unless Virginia was the name of his mother’s group when she turned Val Tashoth. That still doesn’t explain his accursed accent though. And it isn’t fake, he never slips. Rather it takes him more effort to not use it.”

“He also said his mother was a healer.”

“A mage? A Qunari mage? What does that have to do with his accent?”

Bull drawled in a passable imitation of Damon’s accent. “Iffin y’ sayso. See? The lips hardly move. All Saarebas get their mouths stitched shut. And he and Emma got this language that only uses their hands.” There was a slight pause before he continued. “I can ask my superiors for any information on a saarebas that came into their magic late enough to be given an education.”

“So if he learned to talk from a Tal Vashoth mage… Yes, that could explain the accent. And a Saarebas escaping would be rare enough that I’d never have encountered it before.” Leliana sounded relieved. “And Emma? She takes more care to hide hers.”

“From the stories they’ve told, Damon’s mother, ‘Gemma’, raised her too. It’s harder to get a read on her. She knows more than she says, that’s more than obvious.”

“Yes. You can practically see her chewing on her tongue when people are talking about the future.”

“But she doesn’t tell anyone anything until right before, and sometimes not until after.”

“Not even-”

“Not even Damon. Half the time I suspect he knows even less than us about what’s going on.”

“Hmm. What do you gather about our Herald?” Leliana’s tone had subtly changed. She was fishing now. Emma quietly shifted closer to the door.

“Everything points to what they tell us. They were raised in the wild by Damon’s mother, she knows how to hunt, how to fight, but she hates it. Hates the blood, hates the- the wildness.” Bull sounded confused by that. “She tries to act higher. Like she wasn’t raised on a farm.”

Leliana made an encouraging noise.

“She likes to help, has a lot of faith but not in any god we know. She’s impossible to read because you can’t really surprise her. She knows us too well.”

“I haven’t spoken to her much. Maybe I could.”

“She knows everything. She knows that mage doesn’t like tea, she knows where and when to find people, she knows who they’ll sleep with and who they won’t, she knows things they’ve done that only the dead know. She knows you. Everything.”

“That’s… disturbing. But you’re right, she has shown that she knows things about my past that no-one could know.”

“Yeah. Try traveling with her.”

Emma glared at the door. It wasn’t like she tried to be creepy! 

“Well, I would appreciate it if you shared anything else you found. I’m not comfortable not knowing my allies.”

“You could always ask them. They tell the truth.”

“And get more non answers like ‘Virginia’ and ‘I just know things’?”

Bull laughed. “I would have thought a spy like you would know how to read behind the lines.”

The door suddenly opened and Emma found herself face to face with a cross looking Leliana. “Uh. Hi?” She glanced down at the map in her hands and thrust it out awkwardly towards the spymaster. “I need, uh… a favor?”

Bulls laughter was thunderous as he moved towards them. “We need to work on your stealth, lil’bit.” When he ruffled her hair she glared up at him.

“I wasn't trying to spy!” She defended sourly.

“Sure, sure.” He chuckled. “Well, I think this is a good time for me to leave.”

Emma made a face at his retreating back before turning back to face Leliana.

“A favor, you said?” The redhead smiled politely. 

“Uh, yeah. It’s, oh yeah, it’s right here. Can I come in?” At Leliana’s nod she entered the room and spread the map out on a small desk. “It’s right…Here.” She tapped at a spot on the map. “There’s a duke there that has an amulet that prevents spirits from being bound.”

“Oh? And why would you want such a thing?”

Emma looked up at the spymaster and noted the distrust in her face. She chewed her lip for a moment before sighing and turning to face her completely. “There is a spirit, a spirit of wisdom. She is going to be summoned and bound by some mages soon and twisted into a pride demon. I want to prevent that.” 

“Why?” Her tone was harsh but Emma could almost hear the desire to understand.

“I… have to save everyone I can.”

“Even a spirit? I find that hard to believe.” Leliana frowned.

“I know. But it’s true.” Emma said quietly. “Others lives may depend upon it as well.”

Leliana raised a brow. “Others such as?”

Emma looked down and twisted her hands. “The Mages who summon her.”

“You would protect the spirit that would kill them?” Leliana laughed shaking her head. “Why not simply destroy the demon and avoid it all?”

Emma shook her head emphatically. “No the spirit won't harm them…. could never.” She bit her lip before looking at Leliana. “Please! It's important.”

Leliana sat down at her desk and steepled her fingers. “If what you say is true…. if…. how does this help us close the breach? Find Justinia’s murderer?”

Emma shifted her weight under the spymasters intense stare. “It has nothing to do with the breach… the breach will be closed before this ever happens, but it will not only save lives but it might show someone that this world has worth.” Her words startled her, she hadn't meant to add that last part but there was no way to take it back now.

Leliana placed her hands in her lap and leaned back in her chair. “While your intention may be noble, Herald, I see no point in wasting resources on this particular endeavor.” She then leaned forward, picking up her quill and making a “dismissed” motion with her hand.

Emma looked at her in shock, never in the games had she ever out right gone against the Inquisitor’s wishes. “You would just let them die?”

Leliana's eyes raised to her as she replied with a cold edge to her voice. “People die. You are naive if you believe you can save them all. Ideals such as that are nice to believe but they profit us nothing. We don't have the luxury for them.”

“Now is exactly the time for those kind of ideals!” Emma shouted back then blanched and took a step back when Leliana rose from her seat and slapped her hands flat against the surface of her desk.

“Good day, Herald!” They stared at each other for a long, tense moment before Emma turned to leave.

Just before she closed the door behind her she stole another look back at the bard. “Just because Cousland betrayed you doesn't mean I will!” She closed the door before the spymaster could reply and nearly ran towards the Chantry doors. WHAT IN THEDAS DID I JUST DO?

 

 

Damon carefully cradled Gaelathe in one arm, rocking him gently as he thumbed through a book of Orlesian etiquette. It was way too long and only volume one so it was with tremendous relief he heard a quiet knock at the door. He hurried towards it, well as much as one can hurry with a very tiny, very fragile newborn in one’s arm, and opened it up to reveal a beaming Cassandra carrying a very large reed basket.

“Damon! Is the babe asleep?” Cassandra whispered as she peered over his forearm at Gaelathe.

“No, but his mother is. She’s out like a brick, you can come in and set that down. What is it?”

Cassandra blushed. “I saw the babe did not have a cradle, so I searched for a place for him to sleep. I had to ask around for quite a bit, and everyone I talked to gave a birthing gift for Frya.” She set the basket on the table and looked around. “Is there a better place to put it?”

“Oh, yeah. I got it. Here.” Damon deftly slid Gaelathe into the Seeker’s arms, nudging her elbow up to support his head before turning to begin pulling items from the basket and lay them out on the table. 

“Um.”

He glanced up from smiling at a well worn but clean blanket to see Cassandra standing frozen in the exact position he had left her in. “Wassup?”

“I… I do not want to break him?” Her voice went a bit higher as the baby flailed an arm.

“You’re doing fine. Just keep the neck supported.” 

“I- Are you sure?”

He frowned at her. “Have you never held a baby before?”

“One doesn’t exactly stay around babies for long as a Seeker.” She said dryly.

He chuckled quietly and pulled out a chair. “Here, sit down. It feels more secure.”

She blew out a relieved breath and sat down. “I fear I will drop him, or hold him too tightly and crush him.”

“It gets easier with practice.” Damon smiled at her, enjoying the awed fear the Seeker emanated. He continued emptying out the basket onto the table, examining each item curiously. It reminded him painfully of the baby showers in the backwoods where there were often more babies than money and so everyone had to band together to pass on much needed items to new mothers. The basket’s contents were comprised of several well worn blankets, an iron teething ring, hand knitted baby socks and hats, four simple and soft baby gowns, and a few stacks of cloth diapers tied into a bundle.

He smiled gratefully at Cassandra, who was gazing down at Gaelathe with wide eyes. “Thank you, Cass. This is amazing.”

“His ears are so tiny.” She said softly, gingerly moving a hand to touch the tip of one of his ears. “His ears, his nose, his fingers, it’s hard to imagine ever being this small. It seems impossible.” 

He moved to her side and looked down at the wide eyed baby. “I get what you’re saying. Babies are miracles.”

Cassandra hummed in agreement before glancing at the table. “Is there anything else he might need? I do not know much about what babies might need.”

“You did great, Cass. Everything I would have put on a list is in here.” Damon quietly set the basket on of the floor and folded a blanket into the bottom. He’d scrounge up a better mattress later. 

“Is this what you’d do, growing up?” Cassandra tore her eyes away from Gaelathe to look at him. “Helping your mother bring babies into the world?”

“Yeah, soon as I was old nuff to be helpful.”

“That must have been…” She brushed the tips of her fingers across Gaelathe’s ears again. “Wonderful to have experienced.”

“Messy, stressful, exhausting, but yeah. Wonderful.” He chuckled. “Half the kids in the woods called me Cousin cuz ma would sometimes leave me at the new mother’s house to he’p out if she di’n’t have none.” 

“I can believe that.” 

“What, that my ma would leave me behind?”

“No, that so many would take the opportunity to claim you as family.” 

Damon glanced at her and noted the slight pink of her ears. Huh. Cool. “Flatterer.” He grinned and refilled Frya’s water glass. She was starting to stir, and just in time. Gaelathe was grunting and squirming and that meant he was gearing up for a good cry. 

The baby scrunched up his face and wailed and Cassandra looked at Damon in panic. “What did I do? I was holding him just as you said!”

Damon laughed and went to the rescue. “He’s just hungry.” He scooped him up and carried him towards Frya when she sat up and made grabby hands for her baby, a gesture she had picked up from Emma. “Cass brought by a bassinet and gifts for Gaelathe.” He stumbled over the name but made sure he pronounced it correctly. Kid needed a nickname. Fast. 

Frya smiled gratefully at the Seeker. “Thank you, it is much appreciated.” 

“It was no trouble.” Cassandra lied. “I should be going, I saw Varric darting suspiciously around the town.” She hesitated. “Would… it be okay if I visited again?” 

Frya gave the Seeker a shocked smile. “Of- of course, my lady!”

Cassandra made a face at that. “Please, it's just-”

She was cut off by the door swinging open and Emma bursting in. She slammed the door shut and leaned her back against it, blowing out a large breath. “Remind me to steer clear of Leliana for a good year or so!” She looked up and seemed to notice Cassandra. “Oh! Hi, Cass.”

“Why? Is there a problem?” Cassandra sounded somewhat worried.

“Oh nothing…. I just might have asked her to find something, she said no, then I might have said something I shouldn't have.” Emma scrubbed her face with her hands and muttered into her palms. “Really, really, shouldn’t have.”

Cassandra hummed, by now already used to her quirks. “If you think it would help I could talk to her?”

Emma shook her head. “Thanks, but no. The last thing I need is for her to think I've turned you against her.” She then crossed over to where Frya was nursing Gaelathe. “How’s our little prince today?”

“Hungry.”

“Babies usually are.” 

“Cass is gonna go track Varric for a bit and I’m gonna go pick up lunch for everyone. Y’good?”

Emma nodded and waved them off so Damon opened the door and ushered Cassandra out with an Orlesian bow. “After you, Ser.”

Cassandra grimaced. “That is almost painful to see.”

He made a face at her. “I’m practicing, okay?”

“No, no, it was well executed. It is just…”

“Shocking?”

“Well, yes. Seeing you act… refined seems almost wrong after I’ve witnessed you stuffing dragon meat into your face.”

“That dragon tasted good, admit it.” Damon bumped into her playfully as they walked.

“I will do no such thing! Now, run your errand and leave me in peace!” She laughed and waved him off. 

Damon clutched his heart. “You wound me like no other.” He tossed a peace sign and turned towards the tavern. “Good luck on your hunt.”


	17. Chapter 17

Emma held Gealathe gently, swaying and humming to him while Frya ate. If anyone had told her a few months ago that she’d be fighting to save the world and holding an elf baby she would have call them crazy. But as she gazed down at the little pink bundle, she wouldn't go back for the world. 

A knock at the door made her tear her gaze away from Gaelathe. Seemed like there was a lot more traffic than there used to be since he was born. She walked over and opened the door, keeping it cracked so the cold wind wouldn’t chill the baby. Bull grinned at her and ducked his head to peek through the partially opened door at the baby. “Tiny thing, isn’t he?”

“Babies tend to be.”

Bull waved at a wide eyed Frya. “Congratulations! Would you mind if I stole Damon and Lil’Bit for the evening? We have a lot to celebrate.”

Emma opened her mouth to decline, but Fray waved her on. “You go have some fun. There will be plenty of time to hold him later.” 

Fine. Emma layed Gaelathe into his basket and shrugged on her coat. “Alright. You find Damon already?”

“Yeah, he’s getting tables for everyone.” Bull was walking with a prominent bounce in his step.

“Everyone?” The after dragon celebration was just Bull and the Inquisitor in the games. 

“Yeah! Everyone that me and Varric could rope into it. We killed a dragon! If that’s not a cause to drink, I don’t know what is!”

“And a baby was born.” Emma remarked dryly. 

“Yes, but that happens every day. But a dragon…”

She laughed as they entered the tavern. Bull had a one track mind. Sera’s exaggerated waving, more like flailing, attracted her attention to a table near the tavern counter. Blackwall was sitting stoically beside the rogue, looking oddly out of place. Varric was badgering a reluctant looking Cullen into taking a seat, and as Emma and Bull walked towards the group, Cassandra and Josephine breezed through the door behind them. 

“Gang’s all here!” Varric gestured with both arms. 

Emma did a mental headcount and shook her head. Someone was missing. “Just a minute, I’ll be right back!” She called over her shoulder as she headed back out into the snow. She hadn’t gotten to talk to him since their meeting in the HInterlands, but she didn’t want Dorian to miss out on this. Or Solas. He might still be a bit tired from his heroics yesterday, but she didn’t want him to think he was being excluded. And she thought he might enjoy the sight of Damon playing drinking games. That was always fun. 

She knocked on Dorian’s door in an upbeat rhythm and tapped her fingers to a tune she couldn’t quite remember as she waited for him to answer.

The door finally opened and he frowned at her. “May I help you? I mean, other than that monumental task you apparently volunteered me for?”

She shrugged dismissively. “You were gonna offer anyway.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Alright, yes, I was going to, but only at a suitably dramatic moment and after getting to see the lot of you yelling at each other for several hours. And it is terribly frustrating how you do that.”

She smirked. “Yeah, I hear that a lot. But anyway, I wanted to invite you for drinks.”

He pressed his lips together into a flat line. “I’m afraid that-”

“No, no, not drinks, drinks. The gang’s getting together to celebrate Gaelathe and killing the dragon. I thought you might enjoy the fun, and if not at least the spectacle.”

He relaxed. “Ah. That does sound marginally less boring that sitting in my cabin and trying to find books about things that don’t exist.” He reached behind his door and pulled out a coat. “Lead on, dear Herald.”

She chuckled. “Awesome. Gotta pick up one more straggler.”

He gasped in mock offense. “I do not straggle!” 

Which was a funny thing to say as he trailed after her across the pathway to Solas’ cabin. She knocked on the elf’s door, feeling quite a bit more nervous than when she had knocked on Dorian’s. She still wasn’t sure what her status with him was. She kinda wished she still had the ‘greatly disapproves’ updates floating above people’s heads. 

There was a muffled answer, before the door was opened by a slightly bleary eyed Solas. “Yes, Da’asha?”

She hesitated, concerned but unsure about asking about how he felt in front of a relative stranger. She raised her hands and signed. “You feeling alright?”

Solas blinked in surprise, then stiffly nodded his hand in the sign for yes. “I am still a bit tired, but well.” He signed each word slowly. His hands probably didn’t have the muscle memory needed for fluid signing yet.

“Cool.” She spoke out loud, ignoring Dorian’s curious look. “You want to come to the tavern with us? The gangs getting together to celebrate Gaelathe and killing the dragon.” 

Solas hesitated, his eyes flicking over her and then Dorian. ”I… could be persuaded.” 

“It will probably be fun.”

Dorian laughed. “Ah, they will be singing praises over your powers of persuasion for ages to come.”

A smile played on Solas’ lips. “Alright. I will attend.” He exited the cabin and closed the door firmly behind him. She thought she saw a light shimmer across the knob before he pulled his hand away. Probably a ward he had set in place earlier. Probably not a bad idea when you lived in the same area as Leliana and Sera.

The trio headed back to the tavern and entered in time to hear the last bit of Bull’s speech about dragons to Damon. Sera waved them over. “Heya! Damon said you’d teach us the rules to your favorite drinking game! He won’t play Wicked Grace with us.”

“I’m not sure I should participate in-” Cullen moved as if to get out of his seat, but Cassandra clapped a hand on his shoulder, subtly pushing him back down.

Emma rubbed her hands together. “Okay, Two Truths and a Lie.” She nudged Damon over with her hip and sat on the bench next to him. “So, whoever’s turn it is has to say three things about themselves, two of them true and one of them a lie. The rest of us have to try and guess what the lie is. If you guess wrong, you take a drink. Then it’s the next person’s turn. If you don’t drink, like me, you just hold up a finger every time you’re wrong and when all of your fingers are up you’re out. Make sense?”

Bull leaned forward eagerly. “I like the sound of this game!”

Emma thought she caught sight of a flash of red hair in the dark corner of the tavern but was distracted by Flissa setting a tray of drinks on the table in front of them.

“So, who will start?” Dorian snagged a drink and pulled a chair to the other end of the table so he was situated between Cassandra and Varric. Solas chose the opposite end of the table, next to Emma and Bull.

“I’ll go first.” She thought for a moment. “I used to have a horse named Cookie. I love the rain. And I killed my first buck when I was ten.” 

Bull guffawed. “That one’s easy!”

Cassandra nodded. “You did not kill your first deer until you were twelve, did you not?”

At Emma’s nod, Dorian, Sera, Josie, and Cullen all took a drink. 

Sera frowned. “Who likes the rain?”

Damon rubbed his hands together. “Alright. I love eating roasted crickets, I once annoyed my kidnappers so much they let me go, and people used to mistake me for a girl so offen that I went by Therice to confuse people.” He leaned back in his seat with a shit eating grin.

Emma giggled at the blank looks everyone was giving him, except for Sera who began cackling in hysterical laughter.

Varric threw his hands in the air. “I don’t even know where to start with that!”

Bull leaned forward, squinting at Damon. “Kidnappers?” At his head shake he tossed back his drink and muttered. “They must not have been paid enough.”

“I would think the enjoying crickets is false, but I have seen you eat dragon meat so I cannot say for sure.” Cassandra’s brow was furrowed as she thought. She shrugged. “That is my answer. You hate crickets. That’s the lie.”

“Wait, why would that be your guess?” Dorian laughed.

“Take away the muscle and looming air of punch in the face, I can see a Therice.” Sera nodded. “Crickets the lie!”

Cullen shook his head and smiled. “Crickets.”

Varric laughed. “I want to hear that kidnapper story! Crickets.”

Solas nodded. “I would say crickets as well.”

Emma shoved Damon’s shoulder playfully, “Pretty, yet annoying. Confirmed.”

“Y’all right. I think crickets are disgustin’ no matter how ya cook’em.”

Dorian and Josephine groaned and took a drink. Josephine thought for a minute before smiling brightly. “I was given my first kiss when I was sixteen, I once had my underthings stolen and hung in a Chantry, and I love the taste of brandy.”

Emma scrunched up her face. She had heard the story about Leliana stealing Josie’s underwear, but the others she wasn't sure. It wasn’t on her Wiki anyway. “Brandy?”

“Brandy!” Varric piped up a split second later, crossing his arms and leaning back.

The rest of the group echoed him, except for Damon, Bull, and Solas, who eyed Emma closely before deciding, “Your first kiss.” 

Josie smiled widely. “First kiss it was.”

Varric gave Emma a dirty look as he and the rest tossed back a drink. “You let me down, Princess.”

Emma held up a finger and shrugged. “Nobody can know everything, Varric.”

“Good!” Sera muttered. “‘Cause that's just creepy.”

Eleven rounds later, Emma had eight fingers up and Sera was slurring her guesses, head leaning on the table. As expected, with Bull, Varric and Solas it was nearly impossible to tell what they were lying about. Bull, Damon, Dorian, and Solas looked more or less sobor, while the rest looked slightly tipsy. 

“C’mon le’sh play som’else.” Sera complained as she knocked back another drink after guessing wrong again.

Damon leaned forward with a wicked grin. “Truth or Dare!”

Emma choked on her water and shook her head. “Uh uh, nope. Nope. Nope.” 

Damon deflated. “Spoilsport.” 

“Woah, hold up now.” Bull chuckled. “Truth or dare? I like the sound of that! How's that played?”

Emma buried her face in her hands and groaned as Damon started to explain the rules. This wasn't going to end well.

“Whoever’s turn it is can pick someone to answer them. That person can pick truth, dare, or drink.”

“It’sh no far she don't drink!” Sera scrunched her nose and pointed at Emma.

“She’s only allowed truth or dare. It’s why she hates the game.” Damon, the traitor, informed them.

Cullen shook his head and stood. “However interesting as this may have been, I’ll have to excuse myself from this one, I’m afraid.” He gave everyone a head nod before heading for the door, a relaxed smile on his face that Emma was glad to see.

“Seems you have room for another, yes?” The silken French like accent made Emma's head snap up just in time to see the redheaded bard gracefully claim Cullen's abandoned seat. Oh no.

“Yeah, sure! Join right in!” Damon, the super big traitor she would never forgive, said. “Since Sera is the drunkest-”

“Hey!”

“I think she should start.”

Sera wrinkled her nose and pointed an unsteady finger at Blackwall. “You.”

His eyes widened and he lifted his mug. “Drink.” He gulped his drink.

“Aw, you’ no funz.”

Blackwall huffed and pointed at Dorian, who spread his hands in a shrug. “Truth.”

“How do you get your mustache to do… that?” He moved his hand in a circle to indicate Dorian’s face.

Dorian pouted. “Beeswax. And talent, of course.”

Leliana leaned forward with a slight smile. “Are all questions fair play?”

Damon shrugged. “Nothing purposefully cruel and no dares that could end in injury. Games only as fun as the players.” 

Leliana nodded with a smile and motioned for Flissa to fetch her a drink as well. “Ahh… that sounds reasonable.” She then looked down at Emma's glass of water. “You don't indulge?”

Emma shrugged and looked down, a familiar tight feeling in her chest. “I have reasons.”

“Okay,” Damon said a bit loudly, most likely trying to change the subject quickly. He rubbed his hands together. “Let’s play! Dorian my man, you're up!”

Dorian raised a brow. “Your man, am I? Very well.” He looked around the table before pointing at Bull, who wore a little smirk as he leaned forward. 

“Do your worst, Vint. Dare.”

Dorian got a devious glint in his eye. “I dare you to keep a mug of ale balanced on your head for the duration of the game.”

Bull huffed a laugh then boomed. “That all you got? Flissa, another ale!” 

Flissa hurried over and set the mug down in front of him, giving him the side eye. “Anything gets broken and it's on your tab!” She warned before moving away. 

Bull grinned as he raised the mug in a toast before balancing it between his horns. He spread his hands in a “Ta-da” gesture. After everyone was through giggling, he pointed at Leliana. “So, Red.”

Leliana had a small smile on her lips as she looked at the Qunari. “Dare.”

“Lets see how many weapons you're carrying around.” Bull smirked. “I'm curious if I missed any.”

Leliana nodded her head in agreement as she stood. Thirty seconds later the tabletop in front of her seat was littered with seven different kinds of knives, two chains with blade hidden along their links, four vials of ‘Emma-hoped-she'd-never-have-to-find-out-what’, and a garrote wire. Everyone burst into nervous giggles and leaned backwards, but the Bard held up a finger and removed her boot, pulling a flexible metal spike from a hidden pouch sewn into the back.

Leliana efficiently put everything back into its place as Varric shook his head. “I'm just glad she's on our side!”

Leliana’s laughter bubbled up as she took her seat, reminding Emma of the bubbly bard from Origins. She raised a brow at Damon. 

“Ah, truth?” He shrugged.

“Where were you born?” She asked with a coy smile.

“At home, on my mothers couch, right next to the fireplace. She would point it out and remind me how long it took to push me out ev'r'time I mouthed off.”

Bull snorted, the mug wobbling the tiniest bit. Emma was kinda hoping it would fall, sorry Bull.

Leliana laughed and shook her head. “Well, not quite what I was hoping for.” Wait, what? Emma's head snapped towards her and she squinted at the spymaster, who seemed to be ignoring her completely.

Damon laughed good naturedly and pointed at Cassandra. 

“Drink!” Cassandra quickly raised her mug and took a gulp. “I don't trust you.” She said as Damon raised his hands in a ‘come on’ motion.

“Ouch.” He clutched his heart and laughed along with the others.

Cassandra looked around the table in thought before she settled on Emma. “I pick you.”

Emma grinned. “Dare.”

Cassandra frowned. “I had hoped for truth, but….” She looked around the room before her eyes landed on Maryden and a grin burst across her features. “Sing us a song!” 

Emma groaned and dropped her head to the table top with an audible thud. “Seriously!?”

Damon nudged her grinning. “You know the rules!”

Emma shot him a glare before clearing her throat. “Twinkle, twinkle little star, How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high, like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are.”

Solas tilted his head slightly. “I’ve never heard that song before.”

“It’s a lullaby from where we growed up.” Damon punched Emma’s shoulder just a touch too hard. He was probably finally feeling his drinks. “C’mon you can do better than that!”

Emma stuck her tongue out making the table erupt in laughter. She grinned playfully as she turned to Solas. “Soollllasssss!” She sang.  
Solas gave her a challenging look. “Dare.” 

Emma bit her lip in an attempt to keep from laughing, he was probably going to regret this. “You have two choices, stop shaving your head for a month or do a handstand.”

Damon signed, “flirt.” At her and she turned bright red as she shoved his hands under the table, hoping against hope that Solas hadn’t caught that.   
Solas shook his head with a wide smile on his face. “Given my recent exertion, that seems hardly a fair choice, but very well, I shall attempt to let my hair grow for the allotted time.” He then looked up at her with a grin that could only be described as wolfish. “But beware, Da’asha. Emma nan nadas.” My/mine revenge is inevitable.   
Emma ducked her head and took a gulp of her water. Uh oh, now she’s done it. 

Sera cackled and pointed at Solas, wobbling so badly her drink sloshed over her hand. “Good, now I won’ be blinded by yer head.”

Solas gave her a exasperated shake of his head then turned to the spymaster. “Nightingale.”

“Truth.”

Solas tipped his head. “What made you pursue the Chantry?”

Leliana leaned back in her chair. “I was in a dark place. Divine Justinia and the Maker gave me a purpose.” She didn't elaborate but Emma already knew. She studiously avoided looking at Leliana and stared at the glass in her hand.

“Herald.” 

The spymasters voice made her raise her head. “Um… truth.”

She instantly regretted her choice as the bard leaned forward. “You don't drink, why?”

Damon suddenly slapped a hand against table making Emma jump and the mugs rattle. “Nope. Not that. Pick another question.” 

Leliana leaned back with an expression on confusion on her face. “Am I missing something? I thought the rules were-”

“Not. That. Question.” Damon growled between gritted teeth.

Leliana looked at her with a clear challenge in her eyes and Emma knew that if she didn't answer it would become something the spymaster would use against her without hesitation. And… She probably did owe her one painful memory to repay dragging up one of hers. 

Emma laid her hand on Damon’s arm. “It's fine.”

Damon looked down at her, surprised. “Fine?”

“Fair.” She felt her eyes beginning to burn and wanted to get it out before she started really crying. Damon subsided and she touched his elbow gratefully before turning back to Leliana.

“My parents were… when I was sixteen a drunk man… Attacked them. My dad died instantly but….. Took my mom a week to die.” She inhaled sharply through her nose and stood up. “It happened on their wedding anniversary. The man didn't even remember doing it.”

Her vision growing blurry, she cast a brittle smile around the table and hurried for the tavern door. She heard a noise like Damon was jumping out of his seat to follow her, but she didn’t look back. Tears were burning her eyelids and she needed… needed to get out. Get away. She needed a tree to hide in for a little while. Somewhere up high where the noise couldn’t reach her. 

She ran through and past the gates, which were blessedly left open, and toward the old apothecary's cabin. There she found a tree with limbs low enough to pull herself into and quickly swung up towards the top until the branches bent under her weight.

Once she was settled on a well sheltered branch, she leaned her head against the trunk, willing the images of her mothers burnt and broken body laying in a hospital bed from her mind.

She had stayed at Damon’s house that night, had been sitting in front of the fireplace when the police officers had knocked on their door.

Emma dropped her head into her hands, yanking at her hair as she tried to force the images away. She couldn't stop the sobs that racked at her chest until her ribs hurt with the effort of grief. Aunt Gemma had made sure that she wasn't alone for weeks after the funeral, and had given her their spare room, knowing Emma wasn't ready to go home. She had fought DHS to make sure Emma wasn't placed in another home, and jumped through hoop after legal hoop to be her foster.

“Emma? EmTi!” She heard Damon's voice calling, getting louder as he got closer.

She took several deep breaths before stilling as much as she was able to while perched in a tree. She loved Damon but she knew he would want to wrap her up in his arms and hold her, and right now she…. she just couldn't.

“Emma’ti!” Damon was almost right underneath her now. 

“Perhaps she doubled back?” Cassandra’s worried voice came.

Emma could barely see Damon’s dark form against the snow as he crouched by her tracks and then looked up into the tree. His shoulders sagged. “Hard to tell in the dark. She… She’ll probably show back up when she’s ready.” He lightly tapped the tree trunk with his knuckles to let her know that he knew she was up there and slowly stood up. “Let’s head back and wait for her. She won’t get lost.”

“How do you know? You haven’t been in the area much.”

“It’ll be one of the things she knows for certain, and if not, she can follow her own footsteps back. We’ll be there for her when she’s ready.”

Emma tried not to sniffle at that. Damon sure had come a long way from the gangly boy who would try to climb up after her and drag her down.

Cassandra made a soft noise in the back of her throat. “What you said to Leliana-”

“She was being cruel and she knew it.” Damon said flatly.

“Yes. I know. I was going to say you were far kinder to her than I would have expected. Everyone knows how protective of Emma you are.”

He snorted. “No sense being cruel back. Iffen she apologize like a decent person, she’’ll be fine. Iffen she don’t, then she aint getting near Emma again.” He shrugged and started trudging back towards the gates of Haven. “All of us got shit hanging behind us. All of us gotta learn not to hit each other fer it.”

She listened to the pair’s voices grow distant and wiped her tears off of her cheeks before they could freeze. She didn’t feel like coming down just yet. 

“You’re hurting. Hurting loud enough to hear from the walls.”

Emma startled and grabbed onto a branch to keep from falling backwards as Cole’s voice murmured beside her. The spirit was sitting on a branch and staring at her. “Cole!” She gave him a watery smiled. “You came.”

His forehead creased as he frowned. “You wanted me too.” He then tilted his head. “It hurts, tightening in my chest. Mom, Dad gone. Why?” His hands fidgeted and his voice turned distressed. “I can’t help you forget the hurt. It’s rooted, reaching, remembered.”

“I- I don’t want to forget it. Forget them. They were important.”

“But it hurts.” Cole’s legs were swinging now, but oddly enough they didn't disturb the branch. “Damon makes it better, but not this time.”

Emma nodded sadly. “Some things we don't need to forget, no matter how painful they are. They help us grow and define us as a person.”

Cole was silent for a long time. She looked back towards Haven and looked at the few lights dotting the walls. It was hard to believe that in a few short weeks it would be covered under the snow. It really did feel like home now. She was going to hate to lose it. What she needed was something to take her mind off of everything. She could start preparing.

Cole turned wide eyes on her. “Oh. You know what's coming. You have so much to do, so many to help. I can help you help them to help you.”

She scrubbed her face with her sleeve and nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I gotta find the mine shaft.” She pictured the mine shaft exactly as she remembered it and Cole hummed and appeared on the ground. She took the much slower and more physical route of climbing down to earth. 

Once they were both on the ground, Cole surprised her by grabbing her hand and leading her in the direction of the furthest trebuchet. On their way they passed several guards that seemed not to notice them at at.

“They don't.” Cole whispered. “I won't let them.”

Emma only nodded. She had forgotten about Cole’s abilities but she had to admit that it was coming in pretty handy right now.

When they reached the trebuchet, there was one guard on duty who was leaning against its frame, their head lolling suspiciously to the side. Emma wondered how she could get the monstrous thing turned by herself during the final battle at Haven. No way was she going to let Damon face Corypheus with her. Damon wasn't important enough to him and would kill him without a thought. Emma knew that was another problem she’d have to solve before Corypheus’ army attacked Haven.  
The mine shaft was a longer distance from the trebuchet than the game had portrayed, at least a hundred yards or so. The boards were rotten and completely covered in snow and if it hadn't been for Cole she wouldn't have known where to look. Huh, seems like the in-game Herald really had thought that they were going to die.

Cole helped her pry them up and peek down into the dark tunnel below. Ouch, that would be a hard fall. Maybe she could-

“I’ll do it.” Cole piped up eagerly. “Something soft, a warm coat, and potions.”

Emma smiled at Cole and gave him a quick peck on his cheek. “You’re a sweetheart Cole!”

Cole smiled but Emma could tell by the way he fidgeted that he didn't quite understand. With the shaft located, she decided it was time to head back. In the morning she would bring up her plans for the townspeople in the war council. Hopefully things would go fairly smoothly, but after tonight it was anyone's guess really.   
Emma chewed on her lip, thinking of her dilemma about Damon as they passed through the gates, the guardsmen still oblivious to their presence. What she wouldn't have given for this kind of invisibility way back when. 

“You don't want him there.” Cole’s voice was monotone as he read her thoughts. “I can't lose him. I can't risk it. But he follows, he always follows.”

Emma nodded. Damon would never let her ‘sacrifice’ herself like the Herald does. He’d drag her kicking and screaming through the tunnel if he thought there was even the chance of her life being at risk. Even if she told him of her escape plan he’d demand to go with her.

They were almost to their cabin when the only viable idea she could think of popped into her mind. He’d hate her for it, she knew, but she couldn't risk him.

She took a sharp right and jogged towards her destination. Would he even help her? Why did it seem like she was constantly seeking out his help? She swallowed hard as she stopped in front of his door. She shifted her weight and blew out a breath before working up enough resolve to knock on the door.

It opened nearly instantly, making her take a step back in surprise. “Da’asha?” Solas looked at her with equal amounts of surprise and concern.

Emma fidgeted with her hands as she dropped her gaze to the snow. “I…. uh…. I need your help…. Sathan!” Please!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning: brief mention of still birth

The war council the next morning was… tense. Emma was refusing to look at Leliana, Leliana was acting like Emma wasn’t even there, Dorian was growing increasingly uneasy and was badly hiding it behind quips, and Damon kinda wanted to go bury his head in the snow until spring. He was trying, trying so hard, to be professional, to be polite and rational, but every time Emma looked down with hurt in her face he felt like screaming. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, the action catching Cullen’s attention.

“Can we decide on one thing. Let’s just pick one thing, and figure that one thing out so that it feels like this whole meeting hasn’t been a waste.”

Cullen nodded quickly. “Yes. A departure date to Redcliffe. I’m sure we can agree on a departure date.”

Emma hugged herself. “Two days.”

Damon glanced down at her but she just lifted her shoulders. “Two days sounds feasible. Leliana?” He glanced at the spymaster, figuring that getting the most likely source of opposition to decide first would be the fastest route to getting the hell out of here. 

She pressed her lips tightly together but dipped her chin in a nod. “I can have my people ready in two days.”

Cullen and Cassandra agreed and Damon pulled a piece of paper towards him. He scrawled ‘decide departure date’ across the top and put a check mark next to it.

Cassandra snorted and the corner of her mouth twitched into a smile. “It seems our task list is complete.”

Damon smiled wryly. “We have a plan. We know where, we know how, and now we know when. I think this is as good as it’s gonna get right now.” He looked around the table. “I think that we should call this a wrap.”

“When we close the breach,” Emma shocked them all by speaking up before any of them had a chance to head for the door. “The safety of the people of Haven should be our first concern.” She didn't raise her eyes from the table, but instead stared at the map as she spoke. Her words sounded rehearsed, as if she’d been thinking on what to say for a long time. “We don't know how our attempt to close the breach will affect the surrounding area. All non-military personnel should be moved to a camp further up the mountain, with enough supplies to last them a few weeks should the worst occur.”

“But you do.” Leliana folded her hands behind her back when Emma looked at her with wide eyes. “You do know how closing the breach will affect Haven.”

Emma hesitated but nodded.

Cassandra looked between the two. “If she knows this and she recommends we move the people, I say we should do it.”

“Agreed.” Cullen rested his hand on the hilt of his sword in a nervous gesture Damon was very familiar with by now. 

“What aren't you telling us?” Leliana voice was quiet but it held a suspicious note.

Damon had to suppress a growl at the woman. Why couldn't she see that Emma was trying to help? He was on the verge saying so when Josephine’s enthusiastic voice piped up. “I, for one, think that is a fantastic idea,” she gave Emma an encouraging smile and turned to Leliana. “If I might suggest the use of some of your scouts, Leliana, to find the best path and place for them to camp?”

Leliana was silent for a second before nodding her head in acquiescence, and Damon could have kissed Josie right then. 

He smiled at the ambassador, “Josie, do you think we could get the appropriate amount of supplies together for the villagers?”

“Of course.” Josie scribbled something onto her clipboard and glanced around the room at everyone before she spoke. “We have a departure date and a plan to keep the people of Haven safe. I think we can call this meeting adjourned?”

Damon clapped his hands together and smiled gratefully at the diplomat before grabbing Emma’s shoulders and steering her towards the door. “That sounds perfect. Thank you, everyone, and goodbye.”

Right before he closed the door he heard Josephine voice call. “Leliana. A word, please.”

Someone was in trouble. No one spoke in that syrupy-sweet tone unless someone was getting ready to let hell loose. He hoped it helped. 

As they walked away he bumped Emma’s shoulder. “Hey, that thing,” he circled his finger around to indicated Haven, “You need help? Anything I need to make happen?”

She stopped and fidgeted with a tear in the sleeve of her shirt. “I…. yeah.” She glanced around to see if they were alone and when she spotted a Chantry sister in the corner watching them, she grabbed his arm and pulled him along behind her. Once they were outside, she lead him behind the Chantry to where there were several benches set up. She sat down heavily and dropped her head into her hands. “Damon, promise me you won't freak out and try and prevent this…. it…. it has to happen.”

Damon nodded slowly. “Alright.”

Emma exhaled in a sharp laugh of disbelief. “Alright? That's it? Just alright.”

He shrugged, not sure how to explain it. “You know a lot more than me ‘bout what’s goin’ on. You obviously have a plan on how to deal with somethin’. So… alright.” He bumped her shoulder with his fist. “I trust ya, Em. How do I help?”

Emma stood and circled her arms around his waist. “Thank you.” She whispered before taking a deep breath. “You remember that dark figure we saw at the temple that first day?” At his affirmative hum she continued. “He’s going to attack the night we close the breach if things haven't changed.”

Damon felt his blood run cold at her words. “And you just asked to get the villagers out to save them? What about everyone else?”

She nodded into his stomach. “We’ll need our soldiers to hold off his army, but if everything goes as planned they'll escape with everyone else through a tunnel under the Chantry.” She shuddered, “This has to happen. If I try to move everyone away from Haven before he attacks we lose every advantage we have here.”

He blew out a stressed breath and tightened his grip on her. She was probably worse off than him. “Okay then. What do ya need me to do?”

Emma stepped back and wiped her eyes, “They’ll approach from the south, through the pass.” She pointed in the direction. 

He looked at the mountains and frowned. There was a lotta snow on ‘em. “What if…” He shrugged. “I dunno if it’ll work, but we could aim a trebuchet over there and snow ‘em in when they come through.”

She smiled and nodded. “That's how they stopped them before.”

“Damn. And here I thought I was bein’ smart.” 

She chuckled. “You are! Cullen only thought of it after they were already under attack.”

He smiled down at her, feeling pretty warm at the fact that she immediately jumped to his defense. “I’ll ask him to aim one in thatta way before we leave so we don’t hafta mess with it when shit goes down.”

Emma nodded and fiddled with her sleeve again. “It’ll probably be best coming from you at the moment.”

He frowned and tapped her arm with his knuckles. “She’ll warm up to you. Ain’t nobody with brains can stay mad at you forever. But yeah, I’ll talk to him.”

Emma gave him a grateful smile but he could see the doubt in her eyes. “Do…. do you think... you could have him aim the other one too? That way?” She pointed in the direction she meant. “He might think you're crazy but it’ll seal off the escape tunnel so we can't be followed later.”

“Yeah, ‘sa good idea. I’ll talk t’im after he’s had a minute to destress after that meetin’. For now, let’s go to Frya and get that sleeve fixed. I can see it’s botherin’ ya.” Emma looked hesitant at that thought. “I didn't want to bother her, she just had Gaelathe.”

“She’s also bored outta her mind and she won’t even have to leave the bed fer it.” He started shuffling through the snow, taking exaggeratedly small steps so she could keep up. “C’mon.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him and jabbed him in the kidneys, but walked with him back to the cabin. Unfortunately, she was the perfect height for kidney shots and he was too bulky now to dodge them effectively. She was like a ferret, tiny yet ferocious.

They stomped the snow off of their boots and entered their cabin to be greeted by the sound of a loud wail and Frya’s relieved, “Oh thank the Maker you’re back. I’ve fed him and changed him but he won’t stop crying.”

Damon grimaced and scooped Gaelathe out of Frya’s arms, propping him up against his chest with one arm and patting his back with the other hand . “I got ‘im.” He looked around for a blanket and snatched it up, laying it flat on Emma’s bed. He laid Gaelathe on the blanket and swaddled him like Ma had shown him a lifetime ago. 

“Should we call for Ser Solas?” Frya watched him anxiously.

“Nah. Imma take him outside for some sun and air, see if that helps first.” He tugged a hat over Gaelathe’s ears and picked the squirming bundle back up. “If he don’ calm down in a few I’ll fetch im for ya.” He paused at the door and indicated Emma with a jerk of his chin. “She’s gotta tear in her sleeve iffin ya want something to do. I got little perfection here.”

Frya grabbed blindly at the sewing kit near her bed and rounded on Emma. “Why didn’t you say so?”

He laughed at Emma’s panicked expression and stepped out into the cold air. Gaelathe inhaled for another cry and hiccuped at the change in temperature, falling into silent baby confusion. Damon angled him so the sun fell on his face while he walked. He might as well talk to Cullen while he was out and about. 

The commander was exactly where Damon had expected him to be: training soldiers. The man never rested it seemed. “Hey, Cullen!”

“Yes, Dam-” Cullen stopped demonstrating how to hold a shield and turned towards him, pausing the second he saw the baby. “Is that Gaelathe?”

“Yup. Little Perfection himself.”

Cullen handed his shield off and hesitated. “Can I hold him? I’ve held babies before, I won’t drop him.”

“Sure.” Damon let Cullen pick Gaelathe up and cradle him against his chest. He’d obviously done it before.

“Maker. I haven’t held a baby since my sister Mia was so young. So why is he out and about today?” 

“Fussy. Mama needed a break.” Damon grinned at the picture the armored and scarred commander holding a tiny baby wrapped in a pink blanket made. “Plus the sun is good for him.”

Cullen hummed and adjusted Gaelathe’s hat, then looked up at Damon with an unsure expression on his face. “Cassandra told me of what occured at the tavern after I left. Is…. Emma alright?”

Damon winced, uncertain of how much he could say. “She’s… heartbroken? I think that would be the best way to put it. But I think she’ll be okay in time.” Cullen nodded his understanding and gazed down at Gealathe, smiling slightly as the baby pulled an arm free from the blanket and flailed it at the sun. “If there's anything I can do just let me know.” 

Damon shrugged. “Well, there kinda is, but it ain’t… I dunno how much I can say right here.” He glanced around at the soldiers pretending not to watch them. “Right now, she needs to know all y’all don’t hate her just cuz Leliana seems ta. And if ya don’ mind, there’s a favor I need to ask on her behalf when we have a bit of privacy.”

“Yes, yes, of course.” Cullen looked up the pathway towards Haven before nodding towards his tent. “We can talk in there.” He moved towards his tent, all the while cradling Gealathe to his chest. Damon smiled and followed him. 

 

 

Frya stitched Emma’s sleeve back together, humming to herself before looking up at Emma with a smile. “How are you feeling this morning, da’len?”

Emma smiled back at the endearment. Solas had a way of making that word sound condescending, but Frya’s voice was filled with warmth when she said it. It seemed to change the whole meaning. “I'm ok.” At Frya's raised brow she rolled her eyes. “I'm just worried about the breach and the meeting with the Mages.”

Frya hummed and nodded. “That is understandable.” She set the shirt down and patted Emma's arm affectionately. “You have already done so much to help people. People believe you were sent by Andraste and have faith in that, but I have faith in you and who you are.”

Emma swallowed to try and rid herself of the sudden emotions stuck in her throat. She gave up her resolve and wrapped her arms around Frya, who hugged her back just as tightly. “Thank you.”

Frya’s hand went to Emma’s hair and she stroked it. “Gealathe was not my first child.” Her voice was thick with emotion as Emma pulled back to look at her face. “I had a daughter years ago... but she was born still.”

Emma felt new tears well up. “Frya, I'm so sorry.”

Frya shook her head and wiped her eyes. “Don't be, da’len. I only meant to say that if she had lived, I would have been proud if she were as half as kind and caring as you are.”  
Emma was blubbering now and all she could do was hug Frya tightly. How could this woman feel like that about her? She didn't have the answer, but it felt as if she were back in Aunt Gemma’s kitchen again, being held and reminded that family wasn't about blood.

She didn't know how long they sat there just holding each other before there was a knock on the door. Emma quickly wiped her eyes and sniffled, knowing she probably looked a sight with red, puffy eyes. But after getting an encouraging nod from Frya, she went over and peeked out the door.

Cullen stood there, looking down at Gealathe and shushing him as he bounced him slightly. Emma’s fangirl brain melted and ran out her ears in a puddle of eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. She barely revived enough to realize that Cullen was speaking to her. “-ric dragged Damon away somewhere so I brought the little guy back.” He looked up and frowned when he saw Emma's face. “I think he’s hungry. Lady Emma? Are you alright?”

Emma swiped her eyes again and laughed. “Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Um… would you like to come in?” She asked as she opened the door wider.

Cullen looked down at Gealathe again as the baby began to squirm. “I… yes, I'd like that.”

Once he was inside, Emma shut the door and extended her arms towards Gaelathe in a silent request. Cullen smiled as he transferred the bundle into her arms. “He really is a handsome little man, isn't he?”

Emma nodded enthusiastically. “Yes, he certainly is.” She looked up at Cullen, who was smiling down at them. “Would you like some tea or something?”

Cullen shifted his weight from foot to foot. “You needn't go to the trouble.”

“No trouble at all!” Emma grinned and took Gealathe over to Frya, who accepted him with a warm smile and began nursing him. Emma turned and got the kettle down from the mantle. “Do you like it strong?”

“Um… yes.” Cullen suddenly sounded unsure, and Emma glanced over her shoulder to see him standing awkwardly in the same place she had left him.  
“You can sit down if you want?”

Cullen nodded and sat in the nearest chair at the small table. Now he looked like he didn't know what to do with his hands, whether to place them in his lap or rest them on the table.

Emma suppressed a smile went about making the tea. Soon she placed a piping hot cup in front of him and poured one for herself. “So, how's training the troops going?” Cullen groaned and took a gulp before answering. “Honestly, most of them are right off of a farm and don’t know which end of the sword to hold.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose. “Even the ones who've been training for a while seem to forget what their shield is for.” He looked up at her sheepishly. “You probably don't want to hear about all of this though.”

“I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to hear, Cullen.” Emma laughed. 

“Right,” Cullen smiled at his mug and shook his head. Emma noticed his eyes were slightly bruised underneath, probably from lack of sleep due to the lyrium withdrawals. 

“So how’s life as the Inquisition’s commander treating you? I heard you have quite the following of eligible women?” She teased, hoping to get him to laugh. Cullen blanched and coughed on his tea. “Who- who told you that?”

“I was just joking.” Emma backpedaled. “I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.”

Cullen shook his head but his shoulders relaxed slightly. “No, I'm sorry I should have realized.” He chuckled. “No gaggle of eligible women I'm afraid, but I enjoy directing the troops. It's-,” he paused a second before continuing. “It’s rewarding and keeps me busy.”

Emma hummed and sipped her tea. She doubted he trusted her enough yet to tell her about quitting lyrium, but she was happy that he was speaking to her in a relaxed setting this early on… Maybe she could help him earlier than the game allowed. “We’re lucky to have you.”

Cullen gazed down at his cup and Emma thought she saw a flash of regret. “That is a matter of opinion, I'm afraid.”

Emma hated the look of self-loathing he wore so she attempted to wipe it away. “Well that's my opinion and I'm the only one who counts!” She said puffing out her chest playfully. “You are forbidden to listen to the rest!”

Cullen actually laughed at that and gave a mock bow. “Your wish is my command, my lady.” He then glanced up at the window and stood. “I really should be going. I'm afraid I outstayed my welcome.”

Emma shook her head and smiled. “Nonsense, I'm glad you came by. Come over anytime.” She glanced back at Frya, who was smiling at them oddly. “Gealathe needs all the love he can get.”

Cullen smiled and opened the door to show himself out. “Until another time then?”

Emma nodded and watched him go, he was smiling slightly and she hoped that his withdrawals wouldn’t be so hard to cope with tonight. When she turned back around, Frya still had that odd smile. “What?”

She smiled and shook her head. “It’s just good to see you happy for a few moments.”


	19. Chapter 19

If she was honest with herself, even though she missed Frya and Gaelathe and hot baths already, it was a relief to be on the road again. Even with the dust and the rocks hiding in the bed rolls, it was easier to not have to expect Leliana’s suspicious looks at every turn. Sure, Leliana no doubt had spies watching her, but they were easier to live with than Leli’s… Leliana’s hardened eyes waiting for a slip up to pounce on. 

She wished she could go back in time and punch Cousland so hard he changed personalities. But if wishes were horses….

It was their last day of the trip. They had camped a scant hour’s ride from Redcliffe, next to Lake Luthias, to rest and make sure everyone was in place. Cassandra and Bull weren't too keen on the location, and she figured that it was probably because of the spirit of Valor.

When they rode up to the camp, Harding met them with a friendly wave and smile. “Herald!” 

Emma smiled at the dwarf as she dismounted Caramel and patted the mare’s neck affectionately. She handed the reins to one of the scouts that approached to lead the horses over to the tether that was stretched between a few trees. “Harding, good to see you!” She said as she reached out to grasp Harding’s outstretched hand.

“Good to see all of you back.” Harding playfully winked at Damon who chuckled behind Emma's back.

“Good to see ya, Lace.” He laughed and Emma turned to gawk at him. When did he find out Harding’s first name? She didn't tell the Inquisitor until after they were at Skyhold.

“Lace, huh?” Emma asked him teasingly but he just grinned and raised his eyebrows at her. She should know better than to ask. 

Lace Harding lead them to the campfire where a large pot of stew was bubbling away. “We have just about everything in place that the nightingale requested.” She said as she urged them to sit. “Our ground team will leave an hour before you in the morning to get in place.”

Damon hummed thoughtfully as he stretched out his legs on the ground and pulled his boots off. “Does that leave room for if shit goes bad?”

“Yes, We could be in position with only a half hour’s lead, but better safe than sorry.”

“You’re awesome.” He flopped backwards onto the ground and immediately cursed when his horns caught in the trampled grass.

Emma laughed and eyed the Lake. She should probably try and wash some of the road dust off, though the thought of the cold water was daunting. Blackwall appeared in her line of view as he walked slowly along the Lake’s edge. He stopped near a pile of stones and crouched to wash his face, inhaling audibly when the water hit his skin. She winced. That wasn’t going to be pleasant. But there was no helping it. 

One of the scouts was pulling a stack of wooden bowls from a pack so she stumbled to her feet and headed for the water, gently kicking Damon in the ribs as she passed him. “Wash up.”

“Sir, yes, ma’am.” He tossed a two fingered salute and rolled to his feet to follow her.

“It’s fairly cold.” Blackwall warned as they passed each other. She nodded and went to the same spot she had seen him use. It looked cold; the lake had that clarity that came with fresh and chilly water. She plunged her arms into the water and frowned. It was warm. Comfortably warm. 

“Hey, Damon, how does the water feel?”

He stuck an arm into it and shrugged. “Good for a swim I’d reckon. Looks river fed so prob’ly don’ have to worry bout cold spots this far over.” 

That… that actually sounded like a good idea. She leaned over and frowned at the water, wondering why Blackwall had said it was cold. Damon leaned over the water as well, eyes scanning for whatever had caught her attention. She immediately reached over and shoved him into the water, fairly easy with him already unbalanced like that.

His massive body sent up a huge splash that she couldn’t avoid and she laughed when he sputtered and flung water at her. “Jerk!”

Bull laughed behind her shoulder. “Gotta keep your eyes open better than that, Damon!”

Damon splashed water at the qunari and flung himself backwards into the water, diving under the surface and disappearing. Varric appeared by her elbow and eyed the water with a frown. “Is he going to be alright under there?”

Emma pulled her boots off and grinned. “I’ll go see.” She waded out until the water was waist deep and took a deep breath before sliding under the surface, kicking off the ground so she arced through the warm lake water. It was kinda odd how warm it was. Not even the lakes in Virginia stayed this warm outside of high summer. She saw Damon hunched over something on the lake floor and swam over to him, catching sight of something gleaming before she kicked up towards the surface. She didn’t have quite the lung capacity he did now. She popped her head above the water and waved at the group who had gathered on the shore. She yelled to catch their attention. 

“C’mon in! Water’s great!”

Bull shrugged and sat down to pull his boots off, followed fairly quickly by Dorian shrugging out of his overcoat. 

Damon burst out of the water beside her and gulped a few deep breaths before disappearing right back under the surface. Bull swam awkwardly out to where she was treading water. “What’s he doing?”

“He found something shiny.” She could see Blackwall examining the water with a frown as a shirtless Dorian and Varric waded into the lake. She flipped onto her back and let the water carry her. “He’s not too far down if you want to see.”

Bull inhaled and plunged underwater and she flipped over so she could look back to shore. The group was wading about the shallower water, even Cassandra and Blackwall. Solas was kneeling on the shore with his hand in the shallow water and he was chuckling to himself. She’d have to ask him what was so funny later. If he’d answer…  
Damon and Bull’s heads broke the surface and they gasped for a few seconds. “Emma, you gotta see this.” Damon’s face was excited and his tone was urgent, but he’d dragged her underwater to look at a fish skull before so she wasn’t interested. 

“I’ll see it when you manage to bring it up.”

“It’s stuck pretty good. It won’t budge even with both our backs in it.” Bull grumbled. “It ain’t even that big.”

“Fiine.” She bet it had something to do with what Solas was laughing about… but oh, well. Damon would pester her until she looked. She took a breath and dove into the lake, followed closely by the hulking shapes of the qunari. Damon nudged her in the right direction and she kicked down to the lake floor to grab onto the gleaming object. She tugged on it, but it didn’t budge for her either. She pulled herself closer and frowned, trying to focus through the dim water. Was that… a helmet? She immediately let go and shot towards the surface. Damon bobbed up a moment later and she looked at him with wide eyes.

“Was that-?”

He nodded excitedly. ”Yeah! Not one I recognize either! Do you?”

“There had better not have been a skull in that!”

Bull surfaced and she clamped her mouth shut. 

Damon shrugged. “I din’t see none.” He set out towards the others wading in the shallows. 

Bull huffed. “Is he giving up already?”

“He’ll probably be back with a spear to try prying at it.” She leisurely swam towards shore with Bull trailing behind her. He wasn’t the most graceful of swimmers to be honest. While Damon might be interested enough to go back at it, she was hungry. He could talk about it later. 

Speaking of the devil, she could hear Damon already talking to Solas as she drew closer.

“-s’got a scale pattern on the front and a long spike on the forehead part that also goes down to cover the nose area.”

Solas shook his head. “It doesn’t sound like anything I’ve studied, but I’m fairly certain that you won’t get it out of the lake.”

“Whyzat?”

“The spirit who gifted your friend her bow wants to keep it where it lays.”

“Aw. Okay.” Damon’s shoulders slumped and he shook water out of his hair, making Solas step away from the splatter with a grimace. “I’ll leave it alone then.”

Emma waded over to the shore and sat down on one of the boulders to watch the others wade. Varric wasn't very deep in, only a few feet, but the water already went to his waist.  
Sera whooped and cannon balled off of a boulder further out, bobbing to the surface with peals of laughter. “Whatcha waiting for, storyteller? come on in!”

Varric shook his head laughing. “You ever watch a dwarf try and float, Buttercup? I won't be your first example.”

Emma grinned and dipped her leg into the water to splash Varric from where she sat. “Can't swim?”

Varric glared back at her, “Now, I didn't say that.”

She looked over and caught Damon’s eye, giving him a wink and a mischievous grin. “If you don’t know how to swim, Damon could always teach you. We both learned from my dad real young.” 

Damon bared his teeth in a wide grin and started wading over. “Someone need to learn to swim the ol’ fashion way?”

Varric backed up suspiciously. “What’s the old fashioned way?”

“Sink or swim.” Emma sing-songed.

“Chuck ‘em in, sink or swim.” Damon feinted towards Varric, who splashed off towards land in a hurry.

“No thank you! I am going to go dry off and eat. I think I’m done in the water for now.” 

“Did your father really simply drop you into the water to teach you to swim?” Cassandra’s brow was furrowed.

“Yeah! Em was maybe five when she got tossed. I got tossed younger but that was cuz I couldn’t stay away from the pond like I was s’posed to.” 

“He likes shiny things.” Emma laughed and stretched out on the sun warmed boulder to soak in its warmth. Her wet clothes were starting to chill in the breeze. 

“Oh?”

“Yep. I’m just an oversized raven. I like shiny, pretty things.” Damon winked at Cassandra who simply rolled her eyes, though a blush dusted her cheeks. Emma doubted that Damon noticed it though because he just turned and headed towards the shore. 

Blackwall exited the water, shaking out his shoulder length hair and rubbing the water from his face before looking over at her. “How’d you do that, My Lady?” He furrowed his brow in thought. “I thought you weren't a mage.”

“I'm not.” Emma gave him a puzzled look. “And do what?”

Blackwall shifted uncomfortably at her answer and glanced at the water. “The water was like ice moments before. But then you touched it and it became warm. I assumed you had done it, forgive me.”

“It wasn't her.” Solas’ voice sounded close behind her, making her jump. She turned to see he had sat nearby her on the boulder, his feet dangling in the water. “I would guess the spirit that gifted her bow to her sensed her trepidation at bathing in cold water. Am I correct that you didn't relish the idea, da’asha?” He turned his gaze to her.

“Wot!” Seras voice sounded in alarm. “Ya mean some spirity shite did this?” With that she scurried out of the water as if it were burning her. “Nope, I'm done.”

Cassandra frowned and stared at the water around her legs with pursed lips. “It… seems to be alright.”

Solas nodded his head in reassurance. “It is perfectly safe, Seeker. The spirit seems to have a fondness for the Herald.”

Emma looked over the lake. Did Valor really do that for her comfort? She almost missed Cassandra’s concerned voice. “Is she at risk of possession from this spirit?”

“Not at all.” Solas assured with a small smile. “A spirit cannot possess the unwilling, and I think we can all agree our Herald isn't weak willed enough to fall prey to demons. I myself learned just last week her very name mean stubbornness.”

Emma blushed and shoved Solas’ shoulder, almost unseating him. “Hush!”

Cassandra’s shoulders relaxed. “That is good. Though I do wonder how your mother knew to name you so aptly.” 

Emma huffed and slid off of the boulder to go get some soup and avoid further teasing. “I was born a week late.”

“Ah.” Solas nodded as if that explained everything. Which it didn’t. 

Dorian followed her leisurely. “I don’t see why they call you stubborn. You seem agreeable enough.”

She shrugged. “Haven’t had a reason to dig my heels in around you yet.”

“Is that a compliment on my rational nature, or a compliment on a shared way of thinking?” He grinned and waved a hand over himself, instantly drying his clothes. 

“It’s only a compliment if you share the magic.” She pulled the wet hem of her shirt away from her stomach in illustration. 

He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but he did perform the spell again and dried her clothes off. She grinned at him. “Thanks!”

“I’m a bit surprised you weren’t concerned that I’d get blood on it.” He said dryly. 

“Nah, you wouldn’t do that to a perfectly good shirt.” 

He sniffed, but the corner of his mouth quirked in a smile. “You and I have very different ideas of what makes a ‘perfectly good shirt’.”

“Hey! I love this shirt!”

“Isn’t it your only shirt?”

She stuck her tongue out at him since she didn’t really have a reply to that. He finally cracked a full smile that lit up his face. Emma glanced around as she served up a bowl of stew for herself. The group seemed fairly relaxed. She saw more smiles and lighter steps than she had seen in months and sent a mental ‘thank you’ to Valor for making the water swimmable. 

She noticed Damon walk towards the lake with an extra bowl of stew and set it on the boulder she had been resting on earlier. He faced the lake and his lips moved soundlessly as he whispered. 

Solas frowned. “What is he doing?”

“Offering to share a meal with the spirit. It’s something his mom taught him.”

“But spirits don’t eat.”

“No, but she always said that they appreciate the effort. He’s always carried on the tradition.”

Varric nudged by her elbow to get to the pot. “Is that why he keeps giving Cole apples?” He chuckled at her nod. “The kid does seem to like it, even if he’s a bit confused by it.” 

Sera scowled and shoved in to the pot, making Emma step out of the way to avoid spilling her stew. “He shouldn’t be messing with that shite.” 

Emma rolled her eyes but ignored the comment. Arguing with Sera wouldn’t change her opinions on anything magical. She took a bite of her stew and chewed on the tough meat. Whatever Damon did to make it so tender when he cooked, he definitely needed to teach it to Harding’s crew.

Cassandra watched Damon with a frown before turning to Emma and asking quietly. “You were not raised to fear demons and spirits?”

Emma shook her head. “No… we were taught to try and understand anything that people perceived as dangerous… when you understand something, the less likely you are to mess up and hurt yourself around it. Like fire. It's useful, can cook your food, warm your home, and help you craft things like armor and weapons to protect yourself. But unless you understand it and give it a healthy dose of respect, it can destroy you and everything else with you.”

“The same can be said for magic and Mages.” Solas surmised while giving Emma a contemplative look.

Cassandra nodded thoughtfully and took a bite of her stew, immediately making a face. Looks like Emma wasn't the only one who was spoiled by Damon’s cooking.

After supper, everyone decided to turn in early. Since they were sharing a camp with Harding and her people, they didn't have to set up watches, meaning everyone could sleep the whole night through. And with what was supposed to go down the next morning, she knew they would need it.

But instead, Emma spent most of the night awake and reading by the light of a candle she had managed to sneak past Damon. Now, as she stared at the ceiling of their tent, she regretted it so, so much. She was tired and could already tell she would be grumpier than she wanted to be. She inhaled deeply to try and wake herself up a bit and suddenly froze, holding her breath while her tired brain tried to analyze what she was smelling. Was that…? She scrambled out of bed, not even bothering to pull her boots on as she flailed out of the tent. She sniffed the air and followed the tantalizing scent, heading for the campfire where Bull and Dorian were arguing about something in a tiny pot. She stomped over to them and sniffed again. “What. Is. That.”

Dorian grinned cheekily at her and held up a small cup filled with a steaming brown drink. “Well, some uncultured people might say it’s a sort of Tevinter pois- oh!”

She snatched the tiny cup out of his hands and sniffed it. It was! Oh thank God, it actually was! She tossed the coffee back and gulped it down in one swallow, closing her eyes to enjoy the feeling of sweet, sweet caffeine hitting her empty stomach. 

“Is she alright?” She held the cup out blindly towards Dorian’s concerned voice, not bothering to open her eyes unless it turned out she was dreaming.

Damon’s voice sounded from behind her. “I think she wants more.” 

She felt more liquid splash into the tiny cup and brought it up to her face to inhale.

Damon sniffed and laughed. “Oh gods help you, is that coffee?”

“Well, yes. Most people outside of Tevinter don’t really have the palate for it.”

She sipped from the tiny cup and finally dared open her eyes, gazing at Dorian with wide eyes. “I owe you my entire life.”

The mage blinked. “Well, that is unexpected.”

Damon clapped her shoulder and wrinkled his nose when she shoved the cup near his face triumphantly.

“Coffee!”

“Yes, I see, get it out of my face, weirdo.” He looked at the confused mage with a wry smile. “She’s never going to leave you alone now that you are the only person she knows with coffee.” He tossed a peace sign and flopped onto the ground. It seemed he stayed perpetually dusty when they were on the road. 

Bull grimaced. “That shit tastes like, well, shit.”

Emma clutched the cup to her chest. “Don’t be mean to it.” 

Dorian chuckled. “Well, I find I have competition with being the most interesting person in the room.”

Damon propped himself up on one elbow and put a hand on his hip. “Honey, there ain’t nobody in the room more int’restin’ than me.” He drawled. “If I had my high heels here I’d prove it.”

Bull playfully nudged Damon with his foot. “Hey, how come you never offered to show me your high heels.”

“I don’t use the high heels to get laid, just to prove I’m the baddest bitch in the room.” Damon laughed and sat up, dusting off his sides. 

Bull chuckled and Emma rolled her eyes, still cradling the precious cup of coffee. Dorian shook his head. “Ah. I am fading into obscurity, the horror.”

“Must you flirt before breakfast?” Cassandra pouted, though she would probably deny it if someone said that out loud, as she slumped onto a log. 

“Hey now, I already said I wasn’t flirtin’!” Damon pulled an offended face and rolled to his feet. “I’ll find somthin’ to cook. I don’t trust them with that pot.”

“Thank the Maker.” Cassandra muttered, though whether it was because of the promise of Damon’s cooking or the cease in dramatics, Emma couldn’t tell. 

She sniffed the coffee again and sighed happily. Life here had just gotten a whole lot better. 

Damon found some potatoes and fried them in the large cast iron pot, scrambling eggs, the knock off garlic, and some pepper into them once they were crispy. When he looked up from his work he seemed surprised to see a bit of a line, the group waiting with their plates in hand. Fortunately, Emma had managed to stay the nearest to the fire while he had worked. She grinned and held out her plate with one hand.

“Thank you!” 

“Y’all seriously need to learn how to use pepper.” Damon playfully grumbled as he started scooping potatoes and eggs onto plates. 

“Pepper, whatever it is that makes the potatoes crispy like this, how to make meats not cling to your teeth, there’s a lot of things you know that we don’t.” Varric snarked around a mouthful of food. 

Damon gave a pleased huff. 

After finishing her plate, Emma took it to the lake’s edge to scrub and rinse before packing it away. When her hands hit the water she was surprised to find it still pleasantly warmed. She smiled over the lake’s surface and mentally sent her thanks, hoping the message would be received. 

“You continue to surprise me, da’asha.”

At Solas’ voice, Emma glanced over to find him rinsing his own bowl. “From you, Solas, that could be either good or bad.” She joked, shaking excess water from the plate.

Solas chuckled. “It was meant purely as a compliment, I assure you.”

“Why, thank you!” Emma laughed as she stood. She noticed a short dusting of dark, reddish hair beginning to show on his scalp and was about to comment when Damon called to her.

“Hey! Dorian was gonna throw out the last of the coffee so I snagged it for ya. Drink up, the sneaky sneaks just headed out so we don’t have much time to set out.” All other thoughts were lost at the promise of coffee.

 

So far, everything went according to the game. They arrived at Redcliffe and were welcomed as they entered the castle, Emma’s dread growing with each step into the cursed place. She hated this part so much. It wasn't a game any longer; these were her friends. Real people. When they reached the foyer to the grand hall, they were accosted by Alexius’ lackey.

“The invitation was for the Herald, alone.” He sneered as his eyes roamed over Damon and Bull’s hulking forms. 

“They’re my honor guard.” Emma tried to stand as tall as she could, but the effort was probably useless when she only came up to Damon’s chest. “Where I go, they go.”

The lackey sighed irritably but agreed. “Very well. Follow me.”

Emma tried to hide a grimace as they walked through the all too familiar hallways. She really didn’t want to do this. There wasn’t even a reason for them to have to do this, she already knew what was going to happen. It was just horrible, useless, painful magic and she hated it. So. Much.

The hair on the back of her neck prickled as Alexius’ guards fell in behind them as they approached the throne. She could see Damon’ fingers twitching out of the corner of her eye, but she kept her gaze on Alexius. God, she didn’t want them to go through this. 

“My lord magister, the agent of the Inquisition has arrived.” 

Alexius stood and took a step towards them. “My friend! It’s so good to see you again. And your…” He glanced at Bull, Damon, and Solas with obvious distaste. “Associates, of course. I’m sure we can come to some arrangement that is equitable to both parties?”

Emma turned her head, expecting Fiona to speak up, but she wasn’t there. The mage from the Gull and Lantern, Helena was her name, stood meekly in her place. Emma really didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want for this to happen. 

“Shall we begin our talks?” He moved back to sit on the throne, Felix standing nervously nearby. “The Inquisition needs mages to close the breach and I have them. So, what shall you offer me in exchange?”

Emma gritted her teeth. Let’s get this over with. “I’d much rather talk about your time magic.”

Damon snorted, disbelieving. And Alexius shrugged expressively. “I’m afraid I have no idea what you mean.” 

Felix rounded on his father. “She knows everything, father.”

Alexius looked up at his son. “Felix… what have you done?”

Damon stepped forward and Emma was grateful she didn’t have to deal with the slimeball for a few moments. She didn’t want to do this. Didn’t want this to happen. “We made sure to disarm your trap before we came in.” He moved his shoulders in a motion that could be mistaken for a shrug, but that she recognized as him gearing up for a fight. A fight she didn’t want to happen. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“I’ve yet to see your cleverness, I’m afraid.” Alexius stood again, obviously agitated, and addressed Emma. “You walk into my stronghold with your stolen mark, a gift you don’t even understand, and think you’re in control? You’re nothing but a mistake! That mark belongs to your betters! You wouldn’t even begin to understand its purpose.”

“Father! Listen to yourself!” Felix urgently stepped towards Alexius. “Do you know what you sound like?”

“He sounds like the sort of villainous cliche everyone expects us to be.” Dorian emerged dramatically from behind the hall pillars. It was getting closer… Emma didn’t want this to happen. The faces of her friends twisted by red lyrium and the images of a full year of abuse flashed through her mind in a litany of pain.

Alexius scowled. “Dorian. I gave you a chance to be a part of this. You turned me down. The Elder One has power you will not believe. He will raise the Imperium from its old ashes. Soon he will become a god, he will make the world bow to mages once more and we will rule from the Boeric oceans to the Frozen Seas.” 

Dorian stepped forward angrily. “Alexius! This is exactly what we talked about never wanting to happen! Why would you support this?”

Emma heard the quiet grunts of Alexius’ guards being cut down. She closed her eyes briefly. She didn’t want to go through this. She didn’t want this to happen. She had to save the mages, but oh God, she didn't want this to happen.

“Stop it, Father! Give up the Venatori. Let the Southern mages fight the breach and let’s go home.” Felix pleaded. 

Alexius shook his head. “No. It’s the only way, Felix. He can save you.”

Damon shifted his weight slightly, his fingers twitching like he wanted to grab his ax. Emma bit her lip, waiting, waiting for the horror to start. Don’t let it start. She didn’t want to do this. 

“Save me?” Felix near shouted. 

“There is a way. The Elder One promised if I undo the mistake at the temple-”

“I’m going to die. You need to accept that.”

Alexius turned away from his son and pointed at Emma and her group. “Seize them, Venatori! The Elder One demands this woman’s life!” He looked up in horror as Leliana’s men cut down the last of the Venatori in the halls. 

“Your men are dead, Alexius. Surrender.” Damon called out confidently. Unaware of the horrific deed that Alexius was about to do.

Emma clenched her fists. She knew what came next and she didn’t want her friends to endure that. Even if she undid it, she didn’t. Want. That. 

Alexius snarled. “You are a mistake!” He held his hand up and a green light began crackling around the necklace in his palm. “You should never have existed!” 

No. No. Nononononono. Emma felt the fury at the pain that would be inflicted, on the horrors they would endure. No. She refused. She felt her rage explode in her scream as she stomped her foot against the stone floor. She refused to let this happen to her people. “No!” Her foot connected with the stone with a dull, rushing sound like the ocean pounding into a cavern, her scream echoing like a fly caught in a web. 

The air seemed frozen for the briefest moment.

And the light in Alexius’ palm went out. 

She suddenly felt weak, like she had been hollowed out, but she made herself stay standing as she pointed shakily at the stunned magister, standing between her people, her friends, and him. “I. Won’t. Do. It.”

Damon glanced down at her, brow furrowed in confusion and his ax in his hand. “Am I missing something?”


	20. Chapter 20

Alexius’ expression was one of defeated shock as he fell to his knees. 

Damon frowned and looked around. That seemed way too easy for how stressed Emma had seemed about the ordeal. “Was that all? That was the best you’ve got?” He glanced at Emma, who was swaying ominously, but Solas had edged closer to her and he trusted the elf to catch her if she fell. He needed to deal with the threat in the room first. 

Alexius shrugged bitterly. “You won. There is no point in extending this… charade.”

Felix crouched by his father. “It’s going to be alright, father.”

The defeated magister’s voice broke. “You’ll die.”

“Everyone dies.”

Alexius stumbled to his feet and Damon gestured for two of Leliana’s men to escort him away. He frowned in thought as he considered Felix. “You should go to Haven so you can spend… time with him.”

Felix bowed his head. “Thank you.… I think I will.” He followed the guards and his father. 

Dorian stepped towards him. “Well, I’m glad that’s over wi-” His words cut off when Emma’s eyes rolled back and her legs collapsed beneath her. Solas caught her before the fall could hurt her and eased her onto the floor. His hands flared with magic over her head and he stepped back suddenly as Damon rushed to her. 

“Is she alright? What happened?”

“She’s… sleeping.” Solas’ knuckles were white as he gripped his staff, but his expression was blank. “I… I am not sure what happened.”

“What do you mean by ‘sleeping’?” Cassandra whispered worriedly, glancing back at the soldiers who were looking on with various expressions of worry and discomfort.

Solas’ face fell into a mask of indifference. “Her body is exhausted, similar to the exhaustion from closing a rift.”

Damon followed Cassandra’s glance and nodded. “Help me get her up, they shouldn’t see her on the floor like this. We’ll figure this out somewhere more private.”

Cass looked at the door of the main hall where the sounds of marching armored feet echoed. “Have Bull lift her, I fear we have company.”

Damon nodded and helped Bull lift Emma’s unconscious form, brushing his hand softly over her hair before turning his attention to the snooty looking blonde woman who sauntered in behind the lines of soldiers. She stared down her nose at the mage Helena, who was half hiding behind a pillar. “Grand enchanter-”

“She’s not the grand enchanter.” Damon cut in. There was no way he was letting that sycophant speak for the mages.

The woman turned her ire to him. “When we offered sanctuary to the mages we did not give them the right to drive our people from their homes.”

“And I’m sure Grand Enchantress Fiona would be horrified to learn that had happened.” He gestured at Helena. “This one was aiding a Tevinter plot. Which we stopped. If we could locate the Grand Enchantress I’m sure we could have this all sorted out quickly.” 

“The mages have worn out their welcome. They must leave Fereldon or we will be forced to make them leave.”

Damon glanced over at the nearest scout. “Search the premises for the former Grand Enchanter, once she’s found we can get answers as to what happened here.” The scout gave him the hand over heart salute he was becoming accustomed to seeing and scurried away with four other scouts in tow. Damon turned his attention back to the woman, who was evidently someone important, but he wasn't quite sure as to who exactly she was. “We came here to offer an alliance to the Mages in an effort to close breach.”

“Admirable, but I want them gone, and you as well. You have caused enough turmoil.”

Damon nodded. “Ah, yes. I’m sure it’s a great idea, politically speaking, to throw the unconscious Herald of Andraste and her allies out into the street shortly after they retrieved your stronghold from Tevinter invaders. The people will love that.” He compressed his lips and stared directly into the woman’s eyes. He did not want to have to carry an unconscious Emma across an hour’s ride back to camp, and he still needed time to find the mages. 

The women’s eyes narrowed and her jaw clenched in obvious anger. It surprised him when she graced him with a tight smile that was yet anything but friendly. “Of course, how inconsiderate of me. Herald of Andraste, you say? And who exactly are you?”

He gave the fist over heart salute and inclined his head politely. “Damon Theron, Inquisition Agent.”

“Personal friend and advisor to the Herald.” Cassandra added, stepping up to stand at his side and bowing to the women. “Your Majesty.”

Woops. Apparently she was super important. It was a little late for him to start bowing though. 

The woman eyed Cassandra. “Seeker Pentaghast, I assume?”

“Yes, your majesty.” Cassandra straightened. “What he says is true, the Herald is currently indisposed. We would greatly appreciate it if you would allow her time to recover before we leave. And we give you our word she will deal with the Mages as soon as she is able to.”

“Very well. I will have rooms prepared for you until she recovers. And then you will leave.”

He’d take it. “Thank you, your majesty.” 

The women ignored him and instead inclined her head to Cassandra before turning on her heel and heading further into the castle followed by what Damon guessed was her honor guard. ‘Bitch’ was the only word he could think of as he watched her leave, but he did Josephine proud and did not say it out loud. Not even a whisper. He waited until the guards had finished marching out before he turned to Cassandra and quietly asked. “So… who was that and how badly did I fuck up?”

 

 

They placed Emma in a relatively large room in what Damon assumed was the guest wing of the castle. Solas did the glowing hand thing again and sat heavily in a nearby chair, covering his mouth with his hand. He looked… distraught. Dorian and Cassandra had stayed, obviously concerned about Emma and also looking like they were brimming with questions. 

“I don’t like that look. Is she alright?”

Solas nodded. “She is… simply sleeping. A very deep healing sleep that she might need help waking from, or that she may simply wake from on her own in time.”

“Right. Okay. So… what happened?” Damon perched on the edge of the bed and looked at the three.

Cassandra folded her arms. “It looked… it looked like she somehow performed a smite.”

“Wassat?”

“No. A smite would have affected Solas and I as well, and one of that magnitude would have also thrown everyone to the ground. It would seem she cast a dispelling.”

Cassandra shook her head at Dorian. “She is not a mage, we checked. She cannot use magic. That’s impossible.”

“But yet, she apparently did. Are you sure you checked thoroughly?” Dorian asked.

Damon looked over at Solas who sat there staring at Emma as if she were a very stressful anomaly. “So that thing she did was possibly magic?”

Solas scrubbed his face with his hand and sat straight. “It appears it was, but yet it can’t be. But yet she shows the signs of magical exhaustion. I’ve checked many a time, she is not a mage. She has no magic.”

“So… how did she cast a… a dispelling?”

Solas waved a hand vaguely. “Sometimes… when a mage uses too much power, they will then tap into their very will and use their own force of will and life to power their spells. It’s very dangerous and is only used as a last resort. It…”

Dorian brightened. “It might be possible that she skipped the magical depletion and went straight to using her will! Which technically should also not be possible.”

Damon gave a short, abrupt laugh. “So the best theory is she out stubborned the universe?!”

Solas closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “For that to happen it would indicate that she is capable of magic, yet for whatever reason it is blocked. Not completely cut off from the Fade, like a tranquil, but instead incapable of drawing from it.”

Damon chewed on his thumbnail for a moment. “So, to sum it up, she’s impossible and the impossible thing she did put her in a magical coma? Do we need to do anything to help her?”

“I could try to find her mind in the fade and wake her, but because of the circumstances surrounding her… collapse, she is probably barriered off. Her sense of self preservation would make it to where only people she trusted explicitly would be able to reach her.” He glanced over a Damon. “You are not capable of it and I… do not fit that description.” 

“So… we just have to wait for her to wake up or not?”

Cassandra scowled. “I do not like this.”

Dorian shrugged. “I don’t think any of us do, but that seems to be how it is. I will look through some of the notes Alexius left behind. Maybe during his research he might have come across something like this before.”

Solas snorted, making Damon frown at his expression of disdain. “Mages of this era would simply spend themselves into such a state of exhaustion that they would expire… this is an act of self preservation that I have only seen in the deepest memories of the Fade. Ancient elvhen would place themselves in a state called Uthenera. The long sleep. It could last for months or centuries before they woke.”

Damon involuntarily clutched Emma’s motionless leg. “Months?”

Solas stood and looked down at Emma. “The Ancients were immortal, she is human. There is no way to tell how long it would take for her…. essence to restore itself.”

Dorian quietly left the room with a murmur about finding that research anyway. Damon sighed and rubbed his eyes. It felt like he spent too much time waiting over an unconscious Emma. And every time he was powerless to help. 

Cassandra squeezed his shoulder. “I’m sure she will wake soon. Come, we should discover the Enchanters whereabouts.”

He nodded tiredly. “Yeah. Okay.” He glanced at Solas, who was staring at Emma with an unreadable expression. “Do you mind staying with her? I don’t… I don’t want to leave her alone.”

Solas nodded then turned to face him. “A moment before you go. What are your plans for the Mages?”

Damon blinked. “Ask them for help? Maybe pull an IOU if they don’ wanna help. Emma was pretty clear she wanted their help.”

Solas relaxed his shoulders slightly. “Your friend has tried her best to lead, but I fear she is not suited for it.” He then stared meaningfully at Damon. “You may find yourself having to step up into that position.”

Damon laughed bitterly. “Especially if she keeps sleeping through important meetings. I… I don’t have the sight like she do, but if I end up having to decide things I’ll do my best.”  
Solas gave a satisfied nod and sat back down in his chair. Damon and Cassandra headed for the door but that phrase Solas kept saying made him stop and look back at the mage. “She’s your friend too, ya know.” Solas remained expressionless as they left.

 

 

The next several hours made Damon's head swim and he almost found himself wishing for a cup of coffee to help the tension in his temples. The scouts had found Fiona and a few other mages in the dungeons beneath the castle and had brought them to Damon. Fiona had been very relieved Alexius was gone and very willing to ally with the Inquisition to deal with the Breach. She had agreed to gather her people and set out for Haven as soon as possible. That much had gone surprisingly smoothly, so smoothly he had not been surprised at all to run into the apparently Queen Anora. 

Cassandra had ridden ahead to the camp to inform the scouts about the successful alliance and to send word to the counselors in Haven about the mage army travelling towards them. Responsibilities met, Damon headed back to watch over Emma. 

When he had neared the guest hall he heard a slightly raised, feminine voice that was met by Bull’s deep rumble. He turned the corner and saw that Anora was arguing with Bull, who was using his bulk to block the door leading to Emma. Anora was backed by a handful of her honor guard as well as a nervous looking human clutching a healer’s bag. 

He quickened his step and, though he knew it was rude, addressed Bull instead of the queen. “What’s going on?”

Anora’s face reddened. “I brought suitable guards and healer to tend to the Herald and I demand you move aside!”

Bull crossed his arms and planted his feet firmly in front of the door. Damon frowned, “The Herald’s guard and personal healer,” Sorry, Solas, but it’s true. “Were hand picked by the Herald herself.”

Anora sniffed. “She must not have had many options if she chose a bunch of oxmen and knife eared mages. Now, she can have her pick of the best.”

Damon bit his tongue and smiled politely. “One moment.” He squeezed behind Bull and opened the door just wide enough to stick his head in. “Solas, would you mind putting a barrier on the door? We’re having a bit of a situation.” He closed the door and felt a flash of satisfaction as a solid blue shimmer of magic materialized across the solid wood.   
He heard the queen’s frustrated gasp and turned his attention back to her. “Now, the Herald of Andraste chose us, and we will do our job, which is to protect her.”

A sound that Damon used to associate with a shotgun being cocked, but now recognized as Bianca, reached his ears. He turned his head to see Varric walking up with his beloved crossbow out. “Can't you people just play nice for one minute?”

Anora stepped back. “Guards, remove-!”

Damon held up a hand and spoke over her. “I would like you to think about that a bit more before you finish that order. How do you think the Herald would feel if she woke to find that her guards were dead and her healer was removed? Because the only way you will get to her is over our corpses. Do you think she might feel like she had been taken hostage?”

Anora shut her mouth and narrowed her eyes at him. 

“The Herald is much loved by the people. The people who make your food, who build your defenses, who make your weapons, who dress you, and who make up your armies. How would these faithful, who love the Herald of Andraste, how do you think they would feel if the Herald either disappeared into your walls or announced that you had killed her friends and guards? I would ask you to think on that a moment before you force us to defend our Herald.” 

He smiled grimly as several of the honor guard shifted uncomfortably. Doubt showed in their eyes as they looked between him and their monarch. Good, that meant that they themselves were some of the ‘faithful’.

Anora seemed to notice the hesitation as well and her eyes darted between the door and her guards as she recalculated. She smoothed her face out and folded her hands properly. “Very well. I will allow you to remain with your Herald. To ensure her safety I will have my guards stationed along the hallway with you and I will leave my healer here to tend to the Herald when the knife ear proves inadequate.” Her face turned into a sneer as she leaned forward slightly. “But be assured, Qunari, that your superiors will hear of this.” With that she swept off, followed by half of her guard. 

The remaining guards saluted him uncomfortably and moved several doors down the hall to stand at attention with their backs facing the group, probably to make it clear they were guarding them, not containing. The healer shrunk back when Damon turned his eyes on him. 

“I, uh… will just wait… over there.” The man scurried off to sit on a bench near the guards.

Damon waited a tense moment before blowing out a quiet, relieved breath. That had gone better than he had expected. 

Bull chuckled and tapped his shoulder to gain his attention. “That was fun but, uh…. how do you plan on getting Solas to drop the barrier? That door’s four inches thick.”

Damon looked at the door and groaned. The barrier was a good inch from its surface, making it impossible to knock. “Fuck!” He banged his horns on the wall in frustration. “I guess we can ask Dorian?”

 

 

It took two hours to track down Dorian and for him to figure out how to get a message to Solas and then wait for him to agree. Apparently he had some trust issues with the other mage. But finally, he was back to waiting by Emma’s side, sitting in tense silence beside Solas while he waited for any indication that Emma would wake from her ‘not magical’ coma. The waiting was monotonous, stretching on without even the ticking of clock to mark the seconds. Damon had tried reading to pass the time, but his mind kept going back to Emma, worrying about how long it might take for her to wake from this uthenera. How could she even do that? Solas had said only the apparently immortal ancient elves had been able to do that. Gods, he was bored. Solas produced a flask of cider from out of nowhere and set about pouring himself a mug.

“Hey, would you tell me somethin’ ‘bout elvhen culture?” Talking was supposed to make time go faster right? What better way to get Solas talking then ask questions? He seemed to be the type that enjoyed schooling others on their misconceptions.

Solas raised his brow at that. “Why would you be interested in elvhen culture?”

“Cuz I stick my foot in my mouth often enough that I’d rather go ahead and learn how to not offend. Bein’ respectful means you need to learn.” 

Solas dipped his head in acknowledgement and grabbed another mug, filling it with cider and passing it to him before taking his seat. “Very well, what would you like to know?”

“Right. Uh, what’s the magic like? Is it different?”

Solas chuckled. “Before the Veil, Magic for the elvhen people was as natural as breathing.” His face fell slightly, “The magic of this era is more… muted.”

Damon sat up, interested. “So the Ancient elves, you said something about them being immortal. Was it cuz of the magic?”

“The Chantry teaches that the Maker created the Veil when he created the beings of Thedas, to separate them from ‘his first children’ the spirits. This, however, is wrong. The elves predate the Veil.” Solas frowned into his mug. “The immortality was simply part of being elvhen. As I said, magic was as natural as breathing. Their unobstructed connection to the Fade is what made them immortal.”

Damon snorted. “Yeah, established religions do like to rewrite history to fit their idea of right. But so it was kinda like how a fish outta water doesn’t live as long as a fish in water?” 

Solas close his eyes and made a pained expression. “Precisely so, on both counts. The victors tell the story.”

“Shit. How’d the veil happen?” Damon frowned. That didn’t sound good. “Was it like a massive natural disaster or… I don’t know how it works to be honest.”

Solas took a sip from his mug, obviously contemplating whether or not to respond. “There are several accounts to choose from. The Andrastians believe that the Maker created the Veil. The Avaar believe the Lady of the Sky's watches over them and has always been.” He turned his head to gaze into the flames in the fireplace before continuing. “The Dalish account, for all their faults, is the most accurate, I find.”

“What’s their take?”

“I heard a keeper once recite this to his clan.” Solas closed his eyes as if he were trying to remember it word for word. “In ancient times, only Fen'Harel could walk without fear among both our gods and the Forgotten Ones, for although he is kin to the gods of the People, the Forgotten Ones knew of his cunning ways and saw him as one of their own. And that is how Fen'Harel tricked them. Our gods saw him as a brother, and they trusted him when he said that they must keep to the heavens while he arranged a truce. And the Forgotten Ones trusted him also when he said he would arrange for the defeat of our gods, if only the Forgotten Ones would return to the abyss for a time. They trusted Fen'Harel, and they were all of them betrayed. And Fen’Harel sealed them away so they could never again walk among the People.”

Damon mulled that over for a few moments. “Smart plan, but why’d he do it? People and gods don’t do things like that without a good reason.”

Solas’ following chuckle sounded bitter in Damon's own ears. “Yes, a smart plan. One that caused his people to slowly lose themselves.” He shook his head. “To hear the Dalish tell it, it was simply his nature to trick, deceive, and betray. But the answer to your question is present in the tale. The words ‘truce’ and ‘defeat’. The ‘gods’ were at war. Only a fool would believe that the war only affected the ‘gods’.”

“So, good guy, tried to save people, didn’t know what would happen.” He hummed. “I can see that.” He took a sip of cider. “So before Fen’Harel made the veil, the elves would do, uh, uthenera? To heal themselves?”

Solas shook his head. “Uthenera was only used for healing in the most dire conditions. When one lives an immortal life, they would eventually tire of the world. They would enter uthenera for centuries, when they awoke the world would have grown… and be new to them once again.”

Damon wasn’t sure how he felt about that. He’d have to save it to think on later. For now… “So if Emma is in a kind of uthenera, she’s in big trouble? Cuz as far as I know she ain’t immortal.”

Solas nodded gravely. “This is what concerns me.”

“Yeah. “ Damon chewed his thumbnail. “Hey, what’s that thing you call her mean? The, uh, dasha thing?”

Solas chuckled and looked back over at Emma's form. “It seems not even I am immune to her charm and talent of endearing herself to people. Da’asha is an endearment of sorts, meaning ‘little woman’.”

Damon snickered. “Always with the little. But yeah, she grows on ya fast. Thanks.”

Solas leaned back in his seat. “I find it hard to believe that she hasn’t taught you what elvhen she knows. Surely she must have practiced with someone.” 

“She tried to teach me but only a few words and one phrase stuck in my head.”

“Which one?” He brought his mug to his mouth to drink.

“Ava ‘ma edhis.”

Cider shot out of Solas’ nose and his face flushed crimson as he tried to catch his breath through the inhaled drink. “Are- What did she tell you that meant?”

Damon grinned, judging by his reaction Emma had been right. “Means ‘suck my dick’, don’ it?”

Solas coughed and covered his face with his hand. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Yeah. That’s all I know. I never was good at languages like her. I only managed to learn sign language cuz it was my hands.” He let Solas catch his breath. “Thank you, for talkin’ with me.”


	21. Chapter 21

Emma groggily opened her eyes. It felt like her mouth was stuffed with cotton. Again. She struggled to sit up, her arms feeling stiff and unwieldy, and looked around. Solas was sleeping in the chair next to the bed she was in, his hand resting palm up on the bed like he had been holding hers. Probably checking on her during however long she had been out. She could see Damon sleeping in another chair near the wall. A fire burned low in the fireplace but there were no windows, so she couldn’t see how late it was. There was a flask blessedly near her and she reached for it, accidentally knocking over an empty mug that fell to the floor with a loud clatter. 

Solas and Damon jumped out of their chairs at the noise, Damon grabbing at his ax and looking at the door, and Solas turning to her with his magic glowing in his eyes. Well. Something had happened. 

“W-” Her throat clenched painfully and she switched to sign language. “What happened?”

Damon shook his head rapidly as if to shake off confusion and set his ax back by his chair. “You passed out in the great hall. We’re in a guest room at the castle.”

She frowned and signed again. “No, what made you two so jumpy?”

“The queen may have, uh, attempted to take you away from us.” Damon winced as he answered in sign language.

She stared at him blankly. That wasn’t good.

Solas touched her head with a glowing hand. “He handled it very well. She is upset, but cannot act against us without her own soldiers protesting.”

Damon threw the mage an odd look. “Thank you.”

“The mages?”

Solas pulled his hands away, looking perturbed. “They are on their way to Haven as allies of the Inquisition.”

“Wait, how do you know sign language?” Damon’s face was scrunched in confusion.

The elf froze for an instant, but his face remained carefully blank. Emma chewed her lip and hesitantly signed, “I taught him?”

“In a few weeks? He learned enough to keep up with us in just a few weeks?”

“He’s,” Her hands shaped the words slowly, “Really, really smart?”

“You flatter me.” Solas’ mouth quirked.

“Emma, if you don’t want to tell me just say so.” Damon rolled his eyes and moved closer to the bed. “How d’ya feel?”

“Tired. A little sore.”

Solas hmmed. “Do you recall what happened in the hall?”

She wracked her brain, trying to remember through the exhausted cobwebs in her mind. “The spell failed somehow? And I got dizzy and I’m assuming I passed out. How long?”

“All day. We-” Damon looked away and swallowed. “We were worried you wouldn’t wake up.”

Emma frowned. Why would they be worried about that? Solas knew how to travel the fade and had been to her mind before. “Solas could have woken me up if I was stuck in the fade.” 

Solas flinched minutely and moved away to pour some cider out for her. 

“Uthenera?” Damon sounded like he had said the words many times. His pronunciation was close to perfect. 

She shook her head, confused. “I’m not an ancient elf and I’m not a mage.”

“And yet, according to the evidence we have, you somehow cast a spell with no magic and fell into uthenera when you are not immortal.” Solas pressed the mug into her hands and she sipped greedily. 

“Me? Cast a spell?” She croaked.

“Dispell. You somehow stopped Alexius’ magic.” Damon knelt by the bed and hugged her, pressing his forehead against hers. “You had us worried, EmTi.”

“Sorry.” She hugged him back tightly. “I’m alright.”

He pulled away reluctantly. “Good enough to travel?” At her nod he slung his ax onto his back. “I’ll let the others know. I want us out of here before that- uh. Queen wakes up.” He glanced at Solas. “I’ll leave Bull at the door till I get back.” 

Emma watched as he left the room and looked up at Solas. “So…. what did happen? You said yourself I'm not a mage. How could I cast a spell without magic? That doesn't make sense.”

Solas sat down heavily and leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, propping his chin up on his hands. “Da’asha, nothing about you seems to make sense.”

Emma frowned. “I’m not trying to be confusing.”

“And yet... “ he sighed and shook his head. “Ir abelas, I do not know if I can ask.”

“Go ahead, I’ll answer or I won’t.” She shrugged.

He gazed at her thoughtfully. “When I took your language of-”

“When I gave it to you.”

He seemed taken aback, but continued. “Each sign is connected in your mind to a meaning. A memory or image. Some of them… are things I’ve never seen before.” He frowned and started awkwardly signing, though it was smoother than the last attempt she’d seen. “As I practice: car, light, video, music. The images connected…” He shook his head in frustration. ”My name, even.”

She blanched, realizing that he was seeing her memories of earth. “That’s…. well.” She frowned. “So you didn't just get the words but…. memories?”

Solas nodded and sighed. “Now do you understand my transgression?” He stood and paced in front of the fireplace. 

“Huh. I probably should have thought of that.” She laughed wryly. “That…” She hesitated, wondering if this was the right track. “Secret for secret, Fen’Harel?” At his nod she slowly continued. “We’re… not from this world. I don’t know how we got here. There’s no such thing as magic in my world. No elves, no blight, none of this. Damon used to be human.”

He stopped pacing and gazed at the ceiling, looking pale and tense enough to shatter at a touch. “Secret for secret. Our lives are a story you’ve read a hundred times before.” He walked slowly back to his chair and sank into it, head falling into his hands. “This is how you know everything. Know me.”

Emma was quiet for a few minutes, but when he didn't say anything else she slowly pushed the covers away, swinging her feet to the floor before leaning over to pull his hands down. He allowed this but didn't raise his head. “Solas, look at me.”

Solas sat up straighter, his face a carefully blank mask. “The images and emotions make more sense. I've gone through the names. Everyone in the Inquisition. You truly care for them. For me. How is that possible when we are but characters in a story to you?”

“But you’re not.” She poked him. “You’re real. You’re here. We are speaking. And in my world…” She frowned, trying to think of how to explain. “I wished you were. I played your story over and over just to talk to you, I learned your language that no one else cared about because I wanted to be understood by you. I... wished you were real. And now you are.” 

Solas laughed bitterly. “You ‘wished’. You wished I was real? A man who caused the suffering of his people? Who caused the deaths at the conclave? Who plans on causing more?” He pulled away and stood, walking over to the fireplace once more. “My name... to you it causes grief… utter-” He groaned, fingernails scraping through the new growth of hair on his head. “Chaos. Grief, anger, hope, confusion, fear, despair it’s all so entwined I can’t make sense of it.”

Emma froze. He felt her emotions that were connected to his name? Images and emotions. “I… worry for you. I'm afraid of what you think you need to become. I grieve because I know I can't change your mind. I'm angry because you are a bigot and don't even realize it, you don't see the people around you as the beautiful people they are. I have hope that maybe, somehow you'll see. I’m confused because sometimes… I think you’re right but there must be a better way.”

Solas took a shuddering breath before turning to her. “And you despair?”

Emma looked down at her hands and swallowed. “Because no matter how much I wanted to…. I couldn't help you look for a better way. I couldn't save you from becoming what you despised.”

Solas closed his eyes and his nostrils flared as he took what she assumed were supposed to be calming breaths before he spoke. His voice was low, almost chilling in its intensity. “If you know what I plan, why not end it? You care for this world so much, why not stop me?” He advanced towards her quickly, as if trying to scare her, but she wasn't intimidated. Why? She didn't know. “Why tell me that you know? Why let me continue the charade? Why?” He now stood directly in front of her so that she had to look up at him from where she sat. When he saw that she didn't flinch away despite how he loomed over her, his voice dropped to an almost strangled whisper, his face twisted in confused pain. “Why?”

Emma impulsively took his hand and gently pressed it between her own. “Because I care.”

His throat convulsed and she felt a tremor through where his fingers lay in her palms. He stared at her like she was the sum of all he could not comprehend. And she wished, how she wished she could explain herself to him. Her lips parted to find something, anything to say to him-

The door opened. “Y’all ready?”

Solas jumped away as if burned and turned his face towards the fire. Emma felt her cheeks heat up as Damon stared guiltily at them with wide, shocked eyes. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry!” He started to pull himself back out the doorway.

Solas turned to face him, his face smoothed back into that infernal mask of indifference. “No need. I was just leaving.” He tilted his head slightly in Emma's direction. “Ma serenas, da’-” he paused for the briefest of moments, seeming to stumble over the word. “Da’falon.” With that he turned and slipped past Damon and out the door.

Damon frowned after him and looked back at Emma. “Falon is new.” He winced. “I really am sorry for barging in.”

Emma shook her head and ran her hand through her hair. It was getting longer than she usually kept it. “It wasn't anything like that.” Then she smiled sadly. “Friend… it means little friend.”

 

 

 

Despite the two of them saying he’d been fine, Damon could tell that he really had interrupted something important. Solas put on a good front, but he was too quiet. He’d stare up at the predawn sky as they traveled back to camp, the reins clutched in a white knuckle grip while Emma kept throwing lost looks towards him. Maybe he hadn’t interrupted what he thought he had at first, but something big had gone down all the same. 

Varric rode beside Emma and chattered away about what had gone down at the castle, with a few embellishments of course. Damon didn’t bother correcting any of them. It sounded cooler that way. Emma laughed quietly at a particularly obvious exaggeration. “Varric, you tell the best stories, but anyone could tell that part wasn’t true.”

Solas threw an unreadable glance at Emma.

“I’m offended. All of my stories are true! More or less.” Varric grinned 

Damon was very happy to see the camp come into view. Only a few scouts were up and about in the dim, early light, but they already had a fire going. He pretty much associated camp fires with food now, and his stomach grumbled, reminding him he hadn’t dared eat anything at the castle all day yesterday. He tugged at the reins and slid off of MoFo’s back to lead him the last few yards to the tether.

“Hmm. I feel like having some coffee. How about yo-” Dorian said. 

“I would love some coffee!” Emma turned desperate eyes onto him as she swung her leg over Caramel’s back and slid off while she was still walking. Damon caught the mare’s bridle as she passed. 

“I got ‘er. Go get caffeinated.” He looped Caramel’s reins over the tether to hold her while he untacked MoFo. Varric, the bastard, tossed his mount’s reins over the tether and walked off before he could protest. Dorian was at least polite enough to pass his horse off to another scout.

Solas dismounted Elgar’alas'nir and quietly began unbuckling the saddle. Damon waited until the scout walked away before asking in a low voice. “Hey, you alright?”

Solas gave him a look of surprise before he nodded. “I am well, but thank you for your concern.”

Damon gave him a skeptical glance, the dude looked shaken, but didn’t press. “Kay. But if you need to talk or sumthin’ I’m willin’ to listen.” He finished removing Caramel’s bridle and scratched her forelock.

“Damon? A moment?” At Solas’ words he looked over to see the elf leaning on Elgar’alas’nir’s side, fingers twisted in the mares mane as if using it to ground himself. 

He moved closer to the elf so he could talk quieter. “Yeah?”

Solas didn't look over at him as he spoke but his expression told volumes of the stress he was feeling. It was the most emotion he’d ever seen him show. “Emma has told you nothing about what she knows of the people who surround you?”

Damon frowned, wondering where this was going. “Not really. Just things like, ‘don’t flirt with him, he’s straight’. Maybe a hint on where to find someone, but tha’s it.” He shrugged. “She wants me to form my own opinions on people, and I prefer it that way.” 

Solas’ head dropped to lean against the mare. “She has told you nothing of me… nothing at all?”

He hummed. “She’s got a lot of emotions about you, but she never tol’ me nothing. You’re complicated. Tha’s it. All I knew was your name.”

“And the opinions you have formed?” Solas’ voice sounded strained.

Damon eyed the elf silently while he gathered his thoughts. Something big had gone down in that room. “You’re… smug, but rightfully so. You’re smarter than most everyone in a room. You’re… kind. You help people even to the point of maybe hurtin’ yourself. I-” He huffed, trying to voice his thoughts. “I didn’t think twice about having you lock yourself into that room with Emma. I trusted you to protect her. I trust you.” He shrugged, at a loss for more words. 

Solas exhaled a ragged breath but his voice still sounded pained. “How do you view the people around you? Are they in your eyes…. People?”

Damon snorted. “I’m not racist, if that’s what you’re askin’. People are people no matter if their ears are different or they’re a bit shorter than me.

Solas finally turned to look at him and Damon saw the torment in his eyes. ”Even though they are a story for your entertainment?”

Oh. Shit. He was stunned that…. THAT had come out, but nothing for it now. “Everyone becomes a story eventually. Stories becoming people don’ seem that far fetched.” He said slowly. “You’re real to me. I’ve bled for y’all and I will again without hesitation.”

Solas studied his face as if searching for something. “Emma cares for everyone she has gathered around her.” He dropped his gaze and closed his eyes tightly. “It was unintentional, but when she shared with me the knowledge of your sign language, when the knowledge was transferred, other…. thoughts and memories did as well.”

“Ah. Tha’s why she was bein’ all shifty about it.” Damon frowned. “That… That had to be rough for you. To think we didn’t feel y’all were real. But we do, and we do care. Emma knows y’all better, but I care too. Even though I don’ know you well yet.”

Solas snorted and shook his head. “I have seen many wonders in my lifetime, but nothing could have prepared me for the possibilities of other worlds… universes.” He then cocked his head at Damon. “Emma said you were human before…. I can't imagine the change was easy.”

“Tore my favorite jeans to shreds.” Damon joked, but quickly fell serious again. “I… don’t think much of it. I was already a tall guy before, and… I was already used to people treatin’ me like I was shit cuz of how I looked.” He shrugged. “Besides the horns gettin’ in my way and losing my ink, I was too busy tryin’ to keep Emma alive to worry about it.”

Solas nodded thoughtfully and Damon could see the wheels turning. “If… if you were changed, was Emma?”

Damon shook his head. “Besides the glowing hand? Nah, she’s exactly how she was before. Jus’ more prone to fallin’ out.”

Solas’ hand went to cup his chin in thought. “Have you thought of trying to reverse the process?”

“Get rid of the mark, y’mean?” Damon was confused. They had already tried that.

Solas shook his head. “That mark cannot be removed without the artifact that placed it there… I meant whatever caused your body to change.”

Damon frowned as he thought about it. “I… I don’t think I would. Only thing I really miss is my ink.” He shrugged. “I’m fine like this.”

Solas looked at him as if he’d grown another head for a second before shaking his head and chuckling. “How can the both of you be so resigned to your situations? You have lost your world…. friends, family. Everything you knew.”

“Emma’s all I had left.” Damon said quietly. “My… my parents were gone before we came here. Everything that means anything to me is here now. I’m not resigned, I’m holding onto what I have with both hands.” He wiped his eyes with the back of his arm, not wanting to cry right now. “There’s good people here, friends.” He looked at Solas significantly. “I can help protect them. I’m happy, not resigned. You don't find happiness, you make it.”

He paused and caught Solas’ eye. “And hey, I don’t just care about y’all cuz Emma does. Just so you know.”


	22. Chapter 22

Solas was avoiding her, and it worried Emma. She had expected him to seek her out in the Fade for more answers without fear of being overheard, but he had left her alone in her dreams.

She felt strangely abandoned. When she woke the next morning, she found him sitting silently by the fire while Damon cooked in matching quiet. It was… odd. She sat down on one of the logs and hugged her knees to her chest, unsure if she should say anything. Damon nudged the tea kettle towards her, but didn’t look up from the pan. 

“Thanks.” Damon just grunted his acknowledgment as he stirred the contents of the pan. She chewed on her lip, feeling strangely lonely. She cast about for any way to relieve the silence, to figure out if they were angry at her or… or…

“We need to go to the Storm Coast again.” She blurted out. She hugged her knees tighter and waited for their reaction. 

Damon finally looked at her. “Whyzat?” Solas frowned but otherwise didn't comment.

Emma filled her mug with coffee; for some reason today, it wasn't the comfort it had been a few days ago. “Alexius’ son, Felix… he’s contracted the blight.”

Solas’ eyes snapped up and confusion flashed across his face. “The blight is fatal, Da-” He cut himself off before finishing the endearment and looked down at the fire, frowning.

“What’s at the Storm Coast? Sumthin’ to help him?” Damon flipped the pan and she saw he was making pancakes. His attention was on her though. 

Emma shrugged. “Gray Wardens found a way to slow down the blight’s effect, it's part of what makes them wardens, but it’s only a thirty percent success rate.” Emma took a sip of her coffee.

Damon hummed. “Thirty is better than none. I’m in.”

Emma smiled, her mind eased. Damon wasn't upset with her. “Fiona, the Grand Enchantress, used to be a gray warden but somehow her taint from the blight just went away… if I could replicate that… find out how or isolate whatever it was that cured hers…. maybe I could cure Felix.”

Emma heard Solas’ audible intake of breath, and glanced over to see him looking at her as if she'd said she wanted to do a handstand on Bulls horns.

Damon paused and pulled the pancakes off of the fire. “Jeez. That’d be awesome if you can. I’m assumin’ we’ll need to head straight there so you have time to research.” His face screwed up in thought. “If we take a small party and bust ass we should be able to get there and back to Haven round the same time as the mages.”

“I need a few vials of Darkspawn blood but I'm pretty sure I know where to find them.” Emma scrunched her nose in thought. In the game darkspawn only showed up on the coast after the attack on Haven. she hoped that she wasn't leading them on a wild goose chase.

“Wassa darkspawn? Type of demon?”

“A darkspawn is a tainted creature.” Emma cringed at Solas’ voice. “They are vile creatures, no one is certain how they came to be, but the taint in their blood will cause the ones exposed to it become as tainted and twisted as they are.”

“They’re zombies.” Emma said quickly. “Very scary zombies.”

“Ew.” Damon grimaced. “Yeah, we’ll definitely make time for that.” He shook his head at the sky. “Zombies. Fuck it all.”

Solas frowned and signed the word ‘zombie’, making Emma roll her eyes. He then looked up at her and frowned. “I'm not sure that is an accurate description.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, but it’s close enough for him to get it.”

Damon looked at Solas in fascination. “That’s really cool. The… hand and memory thingy.”

“It was not intentional.” Solas grumbled as he dropped his hands uncomfortably into his lap.

Emma groaned. “I agreed to give it to you, ok!”

Damon’s eyes darted between the two of them, obviously sensing a story, but he just shrugged. “It’s still cool though. I’d maybe even be able to remember how to read Elvhen thataway.”

Emma reached over and shoved him, or tried to. He didn’t budge. “This coming from the man who couldn't grasp Spanish? You don’t have the head for it. Besides, you can’t reach the Fade enough to learn that way.” 

“Hey! I know enough Spanish! Might not have the grammar right, but I can make myself understood.” He laughed and turned back to make another round of pancakes. 

Emma shook her head. “Elven is a lot like German, you keep building upon it.”

Damon pointed a finger at her. “Now German I will readily admit I don’t get. I can say ‘good morning’ and ‘no’ and that’s all I understand.”

Emma laughed, leaning back to take another sip of her coffee and noticed Solas watching them with a small smile on his face. “Is this the normal morning for you? Discussing how to cure a fatal disease that no one knows the cause of, and similarities in languages?”

“Pretty much. She’s like… a genius. Speaks five languages, top of her class, historical scientist, et cetera.” Damon shrugged. “I keep up well enough for a mortal.”

Emma felt her face burn but tried to play it off. “I'm not a genius…” then after a suitable pause. “And its eight languages, counting dovazul, Tolkien elvish, and DA elvhen.”

Damon made a ‘there you go’ gesture at Solas.

Solas chuckled and shook his head. Seeing him smile made her hope that this awkwardness between them would be short lived. “You were a scholar.”

Emma shrugged. “I did what I enjoyed. Makes learning that much more easier if you enjoyed the subject.”

Damon rolled his eyes. “That’s what all you geniuses say.”

Emma stuck out her tongue at him gaining a chuckle. “I seem to recall you achieved the exact same grades I did and was offered a full scholarship of your choice.”

He shrugged. “That was for math. Math is easy.”

Emma made a face. “For you! I struggled.” Then she laughed. “Judging a fish by how well it climbs a tree, I guess.”

Solas cocked his head. “I have never heard that term before.”

Damon shrugged. “Big genius back home said it. Means that different people can be geniuses at different things, and trying to hold everyone to one standard ain’t gonna work. I’m good at math, she’s good at languages, comparin’ us to call one smarter won’t work.”

Solas hummed his understanding. “A wise man.”

“Who's wise?” Came Varric’s gravelly voice, Emma looked over to see him wiping sleep from his eyes.

“Yo momma.” Damon smirked and waved at the platter of pancakes. “Food’s hot.”

Varric gave Damon a blank look before shrugged and shuffling over to the fire. “So..” he asked as he piled some onto his plate. “Back to Haven after breakfast?”

“Nope. To the Storm Coast. At least some of us. Gotta ‘portant errand to run.”

Varric looked pointedly over at Emma and sighed. “Really? It had to be the Storm Coast?”

Emma held up her hands, laughing. “Why are you looking at me?”

“Because anytime we make a detour, Princess, you're the reason.” Varric wagged a finger at her before stuffing a large bite into his mouth.

“Heh, glad someone recognizes she’s the trouble maker.” Damon grinned.

“She does not cause trouble as much as you. Of the two of you, only one yelled at a monarch.” Cassandra huffed teasingly and stacked several pancakes onto her plate.

“That was Awesome!” Bull laughed and picked up the platter. “These are for me right?” 

“If you don't give me at least three of those I will put itching powder on your eyepatch!” Emma threatened holding out her plate and brandishing her fork at the hulking Qunari.

He meekly held out the platter and let her snag a few. Damon laughed and waved a placating hand. “I’m still cooking! There will be more!”

 

“Are you sure this is a good idea, princess?” Varric asked as they stood outside the large cave entrance. 

“It’s probably not, but oh well.” Damon laughed uneasily. He got a bad vibe from the place. 

Emma pulled the bow from her shoulder and looked over at him. “Spiders don't still creep you out do they?”

“Spiders still creep me out.” He sheepishly admitted. That run in with giant demon spiders in the fade had reawakened his fear of them. 

“Crap! Ok then…. yeah… there’s spiders…. big ones… like dog big.”

“Oh…” He said faintly. “Okay…”

Bull bumped shoulders with him hard enough to make him shift his feet for balance. “Think of it this way, at least you’ll see them coming.” 

“Yeah. That makes it a little better.” He inhaled deeply and gripped his ax. “Let’s go.”

They inched their way into the cave, thankfully there seemed to be some sort of natural ambient light in the cavern, just enough to see by. 

Damon felt more than heard the scrape of a chitinous exoskeleton against the stone floor. He swung his ax towards the sound and cringed as it crushed through a spider’s abdomen. It did that horrifying curl and twitch spiders did while dying, but he had to turn his attention away from it to deal with the next giant arachnid. The hairs on the back of his neck were standing up the whole time they battled through the cavern. 

Finally, after what felt like ages (and his heart was pounding hard enough to be painful), the spiders were gone and they entered a slightly larger area of the cave. Damon looked around cautiously. The place felt bad. “I don’t like this.” 

Emma shuddered. “If I’m right…”

“Darkspawn!” Varric shouted and shot Bianca into the shadows. There was a horrible gurgling growl and Damon smelled the cloying scent of rotting flesh.

He quickly grabbed the rag he had procured earlier and wrapped it around his mouth and nose before charging towards the small group of rotting horrors. 

He beheaded one and carried his swing over to catch the next, but it blocked… blocked… with a sword. He didn’t have time to process that shock because another darkspawn was coming up on his flank with a pair of daggers. He wrenched his ax back and spun away, barely avoiding the dagger’s point. He was quickly on the defensive as the darkspawn pressed him from both sides, making him use his ax to block blows rather than attack. 

An arrow sank into the dagger wielding horror’s eye, making it head snap backwards from the impact as it fell. He used the gap to dance backwards, leading the remaining darkspawn out into the larger cavern. The second he was far enough back, he heard a rumbling sound and could see several large boulders fly through the air to block the tunnel entrance. 

There were five darkspawn left, but he had enough breathing room to actually fight, and now he had Bull to guard his back. Finally, the last horror was cut down and Emma rushed forward with glass bottles in her hands. He kept his ax ready and eyed the area as she wrinkled her nose and collected vials of the blood from the darkspawn corpses. It seemed like the danger had passed, the tunnel the not-zombies had come from was blocked off and there were none left moving on this side of the boulders. He panted and pointed a shaky finger at Emma.

“Those were NOT zombies! Zombies don’t strategize!”

She clutched her vials of darkspawn blood and winced apologetically. “It was the closest thing I could think of?”

He shuddered and tore the rag off of his face to wipe a few splatters of black blood off of his arm. “Did you get all you needed at least?”

At her nod he started stomping back towards the cave entrance. He needed a bath. Now. “You owe me. You owe me big, Emma Konstantina.”

He could hear the footsteps of the group following him and Varric’s curious yet disgusted questions. “We came all the way over here for that? Why do you need that nasty stuff?”

Solas fell into step beside him, chuckling. “I told you that ‘zombies’ wasn’t quite correct.”

“Yeah, yeah. Next time I’m sitting through the technical explanation and asking dumb questions.” Damon huffed.

“I need it for research.” Emma defended loudly enough for Damon to turn, just in time to see Emma snatch a vial out of Dorian’s hand.

“Hey, if you break one of those and make me have to fight more of those things, I will shave your mustache off!” He growled, pointing a threatening finger at the mage. 

Dorian held up his hands in surrender, a smile tugging at his lips. “Now, there’s no need to threaten such violence! A simple threat of dismemberment would have deterred me well enough.”

Emma snorted as she kneeled down next to her pack and carefully wrapped each vial in its own cloth strip before packing them away. She frowned at the pack and he saw her catch her lip between her teeth as she thought on something. “I wonder if I can get Dagna to build me a microscope.”

“I can probably draft out a blueprint of one.” Damon shrugged. He didn’t know who Dagna was yet, but he was sure he’d meet them soon enough. “I had to fix yours often enough I could practically do it in my sleep.” 

Emma grinned at him. “See! And you said I was wasting your time.” 

He rolled his eyes and grinned as he saw Solas sign the word ‘microscope’ and curious wonder cross his features. That accidental memory transference was pretty nifty. And come to think of it, probably the reason the two had that tiff way back.

“A micro-what?” Varric looked at them like they were talking gibberish.

“Just go with it.” Bull rumbled shaking his head. “My brain hurts whenever they break out the new words. Better to just not try and figure it out.”

Solas looked a little smug at being in the know and Damon flashed him a knowing grin. “Neat, huh?” He asked low enough so only he would hear.

Solas nodded. “The wonders your people achieved without magic is… staggering.”

Damon smirked mischievously and signed, “Moon landing.”

The elf blinked and came to a complete halt. A split second later his mouth fell open as he processed the memories attached to the signs. His eyes snapped up to Damon’s. “That’s… the implications...” he shook his head and scrubbed the stubble on his scalp with his hands. “I have no words. The...”

Emma glared at him and signed. “Did you have to dump that on him right now?”

Dorian looked between them curiously but Bull just patted his shoulder. “Just move on.” 

Damon shrugged and signed back. “Science is a wonderful thing that must be shared.”

Solas paced forward out of the cave, one arm wrapped around his waist and the other cupping his chin in thought. Emma frowned. “I think you broke him.”

 

 

The trip back to haven was pleasant. Solas was a bit quieter than normal, which he hadn’t been sure was possible, but there you have it. But he had had his world completely turned upside down at least three times, that he knew of, since they had left Haven. When they passed through the gates, Cullen approached them before they even managed to get off of their horses. 

“Damon, Lady Emma! Ser Barris and the mages have both arrived. As soon as you have time join us in the war room.” 

Damon stifled a sigh and nodded. “Will do, Commander.” 

He turned to ask Emma if she felt up to it and saw her frowning at Cullen's back. “Something’s wrong.” She whispered to herself, but he was close enough to hear.

“Wrong, like bring my ax, or wrong like, out of order?” he signed. Solas straightened in his saddle and turned his attention on them.

Emma shook her head. “I don't know.”

He hummed thoughtfully and signed. “I’ll bring my ax just in case. You want back up? I can probably talk someone in.” 

Emma chewed her lip staring at the gates were the commander disappeared. “Cullen’s shoulders were tense… I don't know if it’s just stress or the-” she snapped her mouth shut, cutting herself off before she looked him in the eye. “Probably wouldn't hurt.”

He nodded and looked at Solas, asking him in sign language. “Would you mind going in with us? I’d prefer you at our backs if something has gone down.” Plus he could talk to the guy without others knowing what was going on if things got real dicey for some reason.

Solas dipped his chin in agreement and dismounted, tethering his mare to the post before retrieving his staff. Emma sat on Caramel, chewing on her lips in thought.

Damon swung off of MoFo and wrapped the reins around a post for a soldier to tend to. He tapped on Emma’s leg. “Hey. You good?”

Emma looked down at him, her brow creased with worry. “When did we last hear from Barris?”

“Right before we left for Redcliffe. We had just received word that he would get to Therinfall faster than expected.” Damon made sure his ax was secure on his back and offered a hand to help her down. 

Cassandra dismounted with a worried frown. “Did you See something?”

Emma shook her head. “I don't know.”

“May I suggest that we go see what the problem is?” Solas suggested, moving closer and laying a faintly glowing hand on Emma's elbow. Damon saw some of the tension leave her shoulders and he wondered if she had even realized. “Speculation gets us nowhere.”

Damon nodded and grabbed Emma’s waist, picking her up off of Caramel and setting her on the ground. “Yeah, he’s right. C’mon, Em. Let’s go sniff it out.” He glanced at Cassandra. “I want Solas to go with us. If something is really wrong he can get Emma out of there while we deal with things.”

She hesitated, but accepted it with a conflicted nod. He sent her a grateful look and looked at the others. “Would y’all mind hanging near the chantry? We don’t know what’s up but I’d feel better if you had your eye out for trouble.”

Varric sighed dramatically but pulled Bianca from its custom holster in his saddle. “Never a dull moment with you two.”

Bull rolled his shoulders. “You got it, Boss.” Then let out a sharp whistle, seconds later his second, Krem? Was it?, popped his head into the stable area.

“Yeah, Chief?”

“Run the Chargers though some drills and if you hear a ruckus head toward the Chantry like there's damned darkspawn on your tail.”

Damon gave Bull a grateful nod and nudged Emma's shoulder. “C’mon, we’re as prepared as we’re gonna get, I reckon.” He headed towards the Chantry with Emma at his side and Cassandra and Solas a step behind them. 

The moment they entered the chantry, a very stone faced Vivienne swept out of her haunt to speak to them. “My dear Herald! What were you thinking exactly? Giving the Mages free rain without proper Templar supervision?” 

Emma groaned. “Hello to you too, Vivienne.”

Damon gave the mage a flat look. “Hello, Vivienne. I was thinking, ‘let’s ask these grown ass adults to help us with our mutual problem’.” 

Vivienne raised a brow at him as if he were a child who had just spoken out of turn. “My Dear, surely you can see the danger this puts us all in? Magic unchecked will eventually go awry.”

“Just as likely as me going berserk and tearing people apart with my teeth. You really should learn not to listen to the tall tales people like to spread about people they don’t like.” He bared his teeth at her in a forced smile. 

“Vivienne,” Emma held her hand up placatingly. “I understanding your concern, but don't you think it's better to have them here of their own free will then brought in chains? We are trying to close the breach, that is our goal first and foremost.”

The mage inclined her head to Emma and smiled, whether or not it was real Damon couldn’t tell. “Of course, you are correct, My Dear. The breach threatens us all. We can discuss this at another time if you are willing to entertain me.”

“Of course, Vivienne.” Emma gave the mage a smile Damon knew was fake. “Now, if you’ll excuse us?”

“Certainly Dear, do give my best to Josephine.” With that the enchantress turned on her heel and retreated to the corner she had apparently claimed for herself.

“Remind me why we recruited her again?” Damon whispered through gritted teeth. He took the second Emma was looking at Vivienne’s retreat to sign ‘bitch’ at the insufferable woman before herding Emma towards the War Room.

“Her connections will eventually aid the Inquisition immensely.” Emma sighed rubbing her face. “She’s a hard nut but she really does care under all that steel. Her whole life, lies about Mages and herself have been shoved down her throat to the point she doesn't even question it.”

Damon snorted dismissively but sighed at Emma’s reproachful look. “I will try to be more… diplomatic with her.”

They could hear the councils raised voices the closer they got to the war room door. 

“-not that simple!” Leliana’s high voice rang out.

“Please, this gets us nowhere.” Josephine’s stressed voice grew louder as they opened the door. She cast Damon a relieved look. “Thank the Maker, you’re back.”

Damon ushered Emma into the room and made sure Cassandra and Solas made it in before closing the door. “Unless your aim is to upset half of Haven, I'd lower your voices. This place ain't exactly soundproof.”

Solas hung back by the door as they approached the table. Damon glanced around, noticing a haggard looking Ser Barris sitting in the corner with his head in his hands. “What’s going on?”

Ser Barris didn’t raise his head as he answered. “They’re all gone.”

Damon glanced at Emma, who looked pale but not completely surprised. “The rest of the templars? What happened to them?”

“He says they’ve either been killed or… corrupted.” Cullen looked heartbroken but was obviously trying to put a brave face on.

“Corrupted?”

“Red lyrium. Turns them... “ Emma covered her mouth with her hand. “Makes them go mad and then turns them into... “ She signed the last word. “Monsters.” She looked at Cullen sadly. “I’m sorry. I had hoped… hoped we would get there in time.”

“So now we have corrupted Templars to contend with.” Leliana threw up her hands. “Do you realize that that is a-” she stopped mid-sentence and her eyes snapped to Emma. “An army.” She finished quieter than before.

Emma nodded shakily.

Damon thought of the trebuchets and her moving the civilians to the mountains. “Do you.. Do you know when?”

Emma swallowed hard before nodding. “After we close the breach.”

“Then we evacuate before they arrive!” Cullen shouted as he caught on.

Damon shook his head. “Then they’d follow us to somewhere else. Somewhere where we don’t have the same advantage as we have here.” He inhaled sharply. “I’ve already talked with you about preparing for this eventuality. We can most likely put a hell of a dent in them here.” 

Cullen combed a hand through his hair. “Haven isn't a fortress, even if we had enough time…”

“We don't need to win… just hold them back long enough to save as many of our people as we can.” Emma whispered.

“This is what you planned?” Leliana's voice was quiet as she spoke. “The civilians? The supplies?”

Emma winced and nodded. “The one who is responsible for the death of the Divine is also responsible for the Templars corruption.”

Damon rubbed his temples. “Okay. We… we already prepared for this then. We just…” He closed his eyes in thought. “We have to close the breach. There’s no choice in that. Do you know how long after that we have?”

Emma nodded. “If we close the breach tomorrow, it will be after the sun sets.”

“So... “ He shrugged. “We send the civilians away and wait. Hit them hard, dent them, get out.” 

Emma nodded. “This is the only way to get our true enemies to show themselves.” She sighed and dropped her head. “Closing the breach is only the beginning. This is a war.”

“Maker help us.” Cassandra whispered. 

Josephine’s hand covered her mouth in shock, her eyes wide.

Cullen turned to lean both hands against the wall, hands turning to fists, before he yelled and punched the wall so hard dust fell from the ceiling. “Maker damn it!”

Damon watched quietly, unsure but determined. He met Leliana’s eyes across the room and recognized the same in her. She lifted her chin and set her mouth in a firm line. They would deal with this as best they could. 

“We know what's coming.” He said his voice holding a note of calmness he didn't feel. “Let's prepare, and then we have to close the breach. We have to.” He glanced around. “We… we have the mages still. We can handle this.”

Cullen pushed off of the wall and straightened his shoulders, exhaling loudly. “I'll prepare my men.” He excused himself from the room without looking at them.

Damon glanced around, gauging everyone before turning to a shaken Josephine. “Would you please bring Grand Enchanter Fiona here? We need to discuss the breach with her.”

 

 

Emma walked briskly towards their home. Home.. the little cabin would be gone within the next Forty-eight hours if everything happened as it was supposed to. How could the little cabin feel like home in such a short time?

Emma felt tears burn her eyes as she acknowledged that she would be losing yet another home. Damon had stayed behind in the war room to speak with Fiona about having the Mages ready at first light to close the breach, but urged her to go to the cabin and rest. 

She scrubbed at her eyes and opened the door to be greeted by warm air and the scent of cinnamon. Frya turned to her with a smile that quickly faded.

“Da’len… What’s wrong?”

Emma saw a plate of apple oatmeal cookies on the table and the pit in her stomach only clenched tighter. She tried her best to smile but knew she was failing utterly. “Just a stressful day.” She spotted Gealathe in his bassinet laying contently in that little way babies tended to do only after their bellies were full. ‘Milk drunk’, Aunt Gemma used to say. “How’s my little angel today, huh?” She cooed as she picked him up. 

“He’s well, and you are changing the subject.” Frya moved over to place her hands on Emma's shoulders. “Da’len, look at me.” When Emma looked up Frya frowned. “You're worried about something.”

Emma nodded, rubbing her thumb over Gealathe’s chubby hand. “We’re closing the breach tomorrow.”

“Ahh…” Frya guided her to one of the table chairs and made her sit. “Does this have anything to do with why the nightingale has ordered all noncombatants to be ready to leave Haven in the morning?”

Emma could only nod, it was probably best if Frya thought her only worry was the breach.

Frya stood and poured Emma a cup of tea that smelled freshly brewed and set it before her. “Do you worry about people's safety or your own?”

Emma swallowed. She’d prepared for this as much as she could. She knew where to go, what to say. But something could always go wrong. “Both.” Her voice sounded raw with emotions.

Frya looked down at her hands. “I see.” She then stood and went to the little add-on room that was hers and Gealathe’s. “My mother was Dalish, did you know?”

Emma wiped her eyes while she had the chance and Frya couldn't see. “No I didn't.”

Frya hummed as she came back into the room. “She left her clan to marry my father.” Frya suddenly stood behind her. “My grandmother gave her this.” Frya dangled a delicate teardrop pendant on a slim silver chain in front of her eyes. “She said it was from a time when our people were still proud. She told my mother to wear it always and it would protect her.”

Emma's breath caught as Frya pulled the chain around her neck and clasped it. “Frya, I can't-”

Frya’s hands squeezed her shoulders. “You can and you will.” She circled around and knelt in front of Emma's chair. “At least until you can return it to me.” She smiled fondly and squeezed Emma's hand.

The tears Emma fought to hold broke free and she had no hope of stopping them. So they fell and Frya held her through them. 

 

 

Damon’s head was pounding by the time the details were laid down, and his heart was in his throat. it was decided that to avoid a panic they wouldn't tell anyone what was coming. So many lives… and they kept looking at him for answers, for decisions. He was just a guy thrown in the wrong place at the wrong time. It seemed too much to ask him to lead when all he’d done was carry a friend out of danger. He’d do what he had to, do what they asked, but it just felt like he might not be able to carry the weight of their trust. If that was what it was… It might just be desperation.

The chantry seemed hollow; most everybody was gone to carry out the tasks that must be done before tomorrow. He wandered slowly through the simple but grand building. It reminded him of the catholic cathedrals his ma had taken him to see when he was young. He dropped into a bench and folded his hands under his chin, wondering…

He pressed his interlocked fingers to his forehead and thought about the lives that would end tomorrow. The battle… Most of those soldiers would be Andrastian. He closed his eyes and started murmuring the prayer he had learned so long ago, changing the words to be more appropriate, more like the things Cassandra had talked about. He hoped.  
“Hail, Andraste, full of grace. The Maker is with thee; blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the song of they soul. Holy Andraste, Bride of the Maker, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.” He inhaled slowly and held his breath for a long moment before exhaling. “Amen.”

He looked up and was startled to see Leliana looking at him contemplatively. “I did not know you were Andrastian.” She said quietly. 

“I’m not, not really. But most of the people that might… fall tomorrow are. I’ll pray to their gods for their sake.” He propped his chin on his folded hands. “They might not hear or listen to me, but it’s the least I can do.”

Leliana looked down for a long moment in thought. “I think I see. I’ve never heard that prayer before.”

“I learned it real young, for a different god for a different person’s sake. It’s… one of the few I know and it seemed… fitting.”

“It’s… beautiful. Would you teach it to me?”

He ran a hand over his face and nodded. “Yeah, I’ll write it down for you.”

She pulled a paper and a pen with a tiny bottle of ink from a hidden pocket in her cloak. He huffed a quiet laugh and smoothed the paper down on the bench beside him to write down the modified prayer for her. He handed it back to her and she folded it neatly, pressing the creases with her fingers. “You confuse me, and I do not like it.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” He rested his elbows on his knees and dropped his head. He didn’t really want to talk about this. 

“What I’m trying to say, is that I do not like that I am confused. I seem to have no cause so far to have a problem with you.”

“Ah. Fair enough.” He glanced up at her. “As long as we’re both jus’ tryin’ to help people best we can, you shouldn’t have a problem from me, bein’ confusing aside.”

She inclined her head slightly and slipped away silently, leaving him alone with his prayers. He didn’t know how long he sat there before a touch on his shoulder startled him. He looked up and saw Cassandra frowning down at him in concern.

“You’ve been here an hour. I grew worried, I’ve never seen you so still.” 

He sat straight, his spine popping with the movement, and indicated the space next to him on the bench. “Jus’... tryin’ to do something possibly useful ‘stead of fretting.”

She sat next to him and nodded slightly. “Leliana showed me your prayer.”

“Gossip.” He cracked a smile to show he was joking. Now that he wasn’t focused on the prayer, he could feel the stiffness in his muscles and that his feet were asleep.

“You worry, even though Emma knows the outcome?” 

“She knows the outcome, but she never said we wouldn’t lose people. I know we’ll ‘win’ if that’s what we can call it, but I’m… I guess I’m grieving for the ones that’ll die while I have the time for it.” 

Cassandra’s eyes dropped to her hands. “Then… may I join you?”

“Yeah. I’d like that.” He rested his head on his hands again with her solid presence next to him as a quiet comfort.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings for: blood and brief descriptions of injuries

There it was. The Breach itself. Emma felt nauseous looking up at it as it pulsed and flared in a sickly green rhythm that echoed in her skull. Chunks of the shattered temple orbited the focus of the breach and the air shimmered thickly in a manner that had her eyes watering. It felt wrong. She gritted her teeth as the mark flared to life in crackling pain. It lanced through her arm with enough power to make her stumble as the mark began painfully pulsing in time with the breach. 

She could feel everyone’s eyes on her, some of them determined, some hopeful, some worried. She glanced over and saw Solas regarding her with that emotionless expression she hated so much. Damon gripped her shoulder, fingers digging in desperately. “You sure-”

“I can do it.” She didn’t try to force a smile, it would only seem desperate. Instead she nodded to Cassandra and started to walk forward, forward to the breach. 

“Mages!” She heard Cass call to the mages for their attention. 

The mark flared and she bit her tongue to keep from whimpering. She had to do this, no matter how much it hurt. 

“Focus past the Herald! Let her will draw from you!” Solas’ voice rang out as he commanded the mages lined behind her.

The air around her was thick with the power of the Fade. She had to physically fight her way forward and fight to keep her feet beneath her as the mark grew in intensity the more she struggled on. The breach flared and she cried out at the searing pain that echoed in her bones. Dimly, she heard the mages shout as she stumbled forward. She couldn’t see anymore, everything was the glow of the fade pouring from the breach. Then…

Then she felt it. At first it was nothing more than a prickle that made the hair on her arms stand up, nothing against the pain in her veins. But as she fought for one more step against the thick power warping the air, she felt it rush past her like a waterfall of song. Instinctively she reached for it, grasping it and drowning in its beauty. She inhaled and felt it flow in and through her. Pain was forgotten as she reveled in the song. She lifted her eyes to the breach and raised her hand to channel the power through the mark, sending it out and around, in, out… 

The tear in the veil lit up with her power and she grabbed and pulled, stitched and shoved while her soul sang with power, and then, and then, and- The breach sealed, slamming shut so quickly her power rebounded in an explosion of light, throwing her backwards through the air. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

 

 

Damon had felt his pulse in his ears the entire time he had watched Emma struggle towards the breach. He had been helpless, but had still taken a step forward when he heard his sister scream and saw her stumble. Cassandra had grabbed his shoulder, holding him back. He couldn’t help her. When the mages had started glowing, supposedly sending Emma their power, he had seen her feel it. She had abruptly straightened, a robe of white light swirled around and into her, and she had raised her hand to the breach. He barely had the time to register that the breach was changing before the white light around Emma exploded, sending everyone flying through the air. 

His face was bleeding as he struggled to his feet, the blood trickling into his eye as he staggered towards Emma before he had even managed to find his balance. Solas’ fingers dug into his bicep as the mage pulled himself up and forward alongside him. She was kneeling, her face turned towards the space the breach had been a moment before. He reached for her, but pulled his hand back as his skin was shocked by the air near her. 

She stood and turned towards him, her eyes glowing an unearthly silver and her hair standing on end like she was lit from within by lightning. She shined like Damon imagined a goddess of light would, beautiful with barely contained power. She smiled, radiant and blissful, and Solas sucked in a sharp breath. 

“I did it. I can feel-” The light in her eyes went out and he saw her normal sea-blue irises for a brief moment. Then her eyes rolled back and she went limp as a rag doll.   
Damon caught her by her waist before she could collapse to the ground. He gathered her legs up and cradled her limp form to his chest, turning to Solas desperately as blood began trickling from her nose and eyes. “Help her, please!”

The mage’s hands were trembling, barely enough to notice, but he reached for her with fingers alight with his familiar healing magic. He touched her face, fingers sliding along her temples and jaw and leaving trails of quickly fading light in their wake. He shook his head. “I do not-” He closed his eyes and pressed his palm against her forehead, a flash of magic sinking into her skin. His shoulders relaxed when her eyelids fluttered and he spoke quietly. “She will wake, this is not uthenera. She is simply exhausted.” 

Cassandra moved into his field of vision. “She will recover?”

At Solas’ nod, her breath hitched with relief and she turned to the mages and Inquisition agents watching them. She raised her fist and shouted. “The Herald lives! She has closed the breach!” 

A cheer rose from the crowd, a swell of relief and joy. Solas quietly wiped the blood from Emma’s face before any of the agents could get near enough to see and Damon was relieved when no more trickled out. Solas’ magic had helped. 

He hugged his friend’s limp body tightly and earnestly looked at the shorter man. “Thank you.”

Solas’ answering nod was harsh, little more than an abrupt dip of his chin. His eyes dropped to Emma, his gaze lingering curiously before he moved away to check on the Mages.

 

She woke in the Chantry, the candles giving off just enough light for her to make out that she was in the small prayer room. Everything ached. Emma couldn't stop the whimper that escaped when she tried to sit up. She felt like someone had squeezed her through a wringer, and like… like… she felt like something was gone. Something important. She glanced at her hand, but the mark was still there. What was missing? 

A soft rustle of fabric made her look up from her hand. She saw Solas sitting on a chair by her stretcher. His eyes flicked over her. “How do you feel?” The way he said ‘feel’ made her pause.

Empty. She felt empty. She frowned and shook her head. “Sore, but alright.” She saw him rub a hand over his face and make a frustrated sound in the back of his throat. “What happened?”

“You closed the breach and lost consciousness.” He leaned forward, his hands glowing as they passed over her form. “What do you last remember?”

“I remember trying to get closer, the Mages, their power filling the sky... it was like… music, bright music, like a song or something.” She shook her head at how crazy that sounded and rubbed her hand over her chest at the memory.

She looked up to see Solas smiling, not a half smile or smirk, but an honest to god smile. “You felt it.” 

She gave him a confused look. “Yeah...I mean, I think so.”

Solas brought his hand up to her face and pressed it gently against her cheek, making her freeze. “What about this?” His hand glowed softly and she felt a cool, almost menthol, feeling under her skin where his palm touched. Something inside her leapt towards it as if it were a starved animal, it wanted… no, needed to feel it, taste it.

Emma leaned into his touch, further into the sensation. She could almost hear… The empty feeling in her chest tugged at the coolness, drawing on it, pulling it into her and digging into it to get to the beauty- 

He jerked his hand away, leaving her feeling dizzy and bereft. She involuntarily leaned in the direction his hand had gone. “Wh… what was that?”

Solas’ face was unreadable but his eyes bored into her with an intensity that made her want to recoil. “That was… magic.” Then he gave her a slight smile. “More specifically, my aura.”

Emma rubbed her forehead in confusion. “But…. you've healed me before… it…. I never felt anything like… I don't understand.”

Solas leaned forward and pulled her hand from her forehead, cradling it within his like she had done that night in Redcliffe. “Emma, you are-”

Bells rang out, causing them both to jump up. Solas pulled his staff over from where it was leaned against the wall. 

Emma swallowed around her heart in her throat. “They're here.”

 

 

“Here they come!” Bull billowed from his viewpoint on the wall.

No matter how much they had planned and prepared, when the alarm rang out, Damon felt dread grip his heart. It was happening just like Emma said it would. He joined Bull up on the wall, adjusting his grip on his ax nervously as he searched the inky darkness of the valley. He saw the torches, at first just a few of them dotting the darkness, but then they grew to the hundreds, possibly thousands.

“Damn. Seems she was right.” Varric sounded like he was trying to joke but it fell short.

Damon watched the lights pour into the valley, waiting, counting. He nodded when the lights looked like they were thickest where he calculated the snow would fall and raised and dropped his hand in a signal. 

The trebuchet groaned and clattered as it sent it’s load hurtling into the darkness. There was a low rumble in the distance and Damon felt the ground vibrate beneath his feet as hundreds of thousands of pounds of snow thundered down the mountain, burying the encroaching army and extinguishing the torches. A cheer went up from the soldiers on the wall, but Cullen and Damon just watched the valley. That was too easy… Even if they knew ahead of time, it was still too easy. Especially with the way Emma had been so adamant they remove the civilians. 

“Well, that wasn't so bad.” Dorian laughed, but Damon could see the worry in his eyes.

“That cannot be everything.” Cassandra shook her head, her sword ready in her hand.

They watched the valley for movement, eyes straining to see the next threat. Damon heard a high, swooping shriek that made the hair on his neck stand up. It sounded like-

“Everybody down!” He shouted, grabbing Blackwall by the back of his neck and forcing him down behind a boulder. Not even a second later the trebuchet exploded in a ball of otherworldly red flames, sending the soldiers too slow flying. Damon looked up in time to see what looked like a dragon swoop away. 

“Andraste’s dimpled asscheek!” Sera shouted as she picked herself up from the ground.

“God fucking dammit, Emma!” He swore and let Blackwall get back to his feet. “Everyone back to the gates!” They had no hope of fighting an air-born dragon. 

Cullen grabbed a limping soldier and started shouting as he half carried the man towards the gates. “Move it! To the gates!”

Damon watched the sky uneasily, the dragon was flying back and forth across Haven. She would spit fire every now and then, lighting a building up, but she just kept circling. She was looking for something… He would bet she was looking for someone, actually. He headed for the gates, pushing a straggling soldier through just as Cullen slammed the heavy wooden doors shut. 

“We need to get everyone to the Chantry!” 

Cullen nodded sharply and waved his arm at the soldiers. “To the Chantry! It’s the only thing that might hold against that beast!”

Just as he reached the top of the stairs, he saw Emma running out of the building, buckling on her armor and looking up at the sky, with Solas and Leliana close on her heels.

He ran to meet her and grabbed her arm. “A dragon? Emma!?” He tightened a buckle on her arm as he yelled. “Why the fuck didn’t you warn us?”

Emma shook her head, “We don't have to fight it, just get everyone in the Chantry now.”

He pointed at her angrily. “We’re gonna talk about this later. Fuck’s sake.” He turned and shouted at Cullen, who was running behind a handful of soldiers. “That everyone?”

Cullen nodded and looked back as the dragon bombed the smithy. “That’s all of us. I don’t know how long the chantry will stand against that beast though.”

Emma nodded. “There's a tunnel, a path in the back of the Chantry, get your men down there and get them through.” She said as they slammed the heavy doors of the Chantry shut.

“Why didn't you mention the dragon?” Leliana asked, but for some reason the steely suspicion her voice usually held was missing.

“The dragon’s not important.” Emma buckled a pair of daggers around her waist.

“Not important? How in Thedas is a dragon not important?!” Varric near shouted. 

“What’s this about, Emma?” Damon frowned. Something wasn’t right. She wouldn’t put all these lives at risk just to attract a dragon. Was there something bigger?

Emma’s shoulders dropped. “Damon… the attack…. Corypheus did it to get to me. These people don't matter to him. He wants the mark. He wants me.”

He dragged his hand over his face. “Em. You should of tol’ me! Protecting someone is a hell of a different strategy than fighting a damn army!” He glanced into the darkness where she had had him aim the second trebuchet. He’d wondered why she was so specific, because it would bury Haven if it hit right there. “Oh.” He felt his face fall as he realized what her plan must be. “No. We’re gonna figure something else out. You’re not sacrificing yourself.”

Emma smiled sadly and shook her head. “We don't have time to argue.” She turned to Cullen. “Commander, get your men out of here. Send up a flaming arrow as a signal when your men are past the tree line.”

“But what about-” Cullen cut himself off. “You’re going to bury Haven.” He said as realization hit him. “Someone has to stay behind but…. you can't-”

“I can.” Emma cut him off. “Go, commander. That's a order.”

“Emma, be reasonable.” Cassandra pleaded, stepping forward to touch her shoulder.

“No! The hell, Emma! I’ll do it, you got more important things in that head of yours.” Damon said desperately. 

Emma patted Cassandra’s hand but pulled away and turned to him, pain in her eyes. “No, Damon, it has to be me.”

“Then let me come with you.” He grabbed her shoulders and shook her slightly, desperately. “You’re all I got left, Em.”

Emma’s eyes started to water and he saw her bite her lip to keep the tears back. She dropped her gaze but when she looked back up to him her face was determined. “Ok, but you need to do everything exactly as I say.”

“Exactly as you say, I promise.” His stomach dropped as the fact that they both would probably die sank in. 

Emma nodded and he released her shoulders. She went over to Solas and squeezed his arm. “Sathan Solas, ma halani?”

Solas bowed his head and shut his eyes tightly, his jaw clenching. Whatever she had said hit him hard.

“Surely there's a better way!” Cassandra's voice was distressed.

Emma shook her head again. “Unless someone seals off the tunnel, his army will follow. It has to be this way.”

Solas walked over to him and pointed at a burn on his back. “You're injured.”

Damon waved him off, he had to go with Emma, he didn’t have time to deal with that right now. But the mage held out a vial of a familiar looking blue potion. Oh, right. That’d help if he didn’t have to worry about his back acting up, actually. He grabbed it and drank it in one swallow, wincing at the taste. “Thanks, man.” He adjusted his grip on his ax, preparing himself to follow Emma to their end. 

Solas looked stricken. He took a sharp step backwards like Damon’s words had stabbed him.

Damon tried to take a step towards Emma, to go with her at the very least. He could help. But his leg gave out under him and he frowned as he fell to his knee on the stone floor. “Em? Wh-” His tongue wasn’t working right.

Emma squeezed her eyes shut before she kneeled down next to him, cupping his face in her hands. “I'm sorry.” She whispered, tears falling from her chin. He could barely feel the kiss she left on his cheek. “But I can't lose you.”

“What have you done?” Was that Cass’ voice?

He tried to reach out and grab onto Emma as she said something to Cass, but his limbs weren’t responding. He collapsed onto the stone floor, someone’s arms catching his head at the last moment. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed was Emma’s feet walking towards the door, leaving him behind.

 

 

“What have you done?” Cassandra accusing voice felt like a punch to the gut. 

“He would have died.” Emma watched as Bull and her both rushed forward to break Damon’s fall. He’d hate her for this, but it was the only way. She stood and looked over at the others giving her Various looks of surprise, shock, and even distrust. Only Solas wasn't looking at her; his jaw was clenched tightly and he had a white knuckled grip on his staff.

She turned sharply towards the door, she didn't have time to explain herself. Best get this done. “Get everyone out, Commander, and send up that flare.” She called over her shoulder as she slipped out the door.

Haven looked deserted, that meant not even Corypheus’ forces had gotten close enough to breach the walls. That was good. She took a deep breath and sprinted towards where she knew the trebuchet was located. She heard the blighted dragon roar in the distance, and it sent a chill right down her spine. She gripped the handles of the daggers she was wearing. She hadn't wanted to risk losing her bow and had given it to Cole that morning, asking him to put it where she would find it… after.

She made it to the trebuchet and looked around. It was quiet except for the burning buildings, fires crackling and roaring in the cold air. She stood there and counted to one hundred and when nothing happened she searched the sky for his Dragon. “Come on. Come on! Where are you? I'm right here!” She screamed up at the night sky. 

The dragon roared in response, drawing her eyes to the left. She could just make out it’s dark shape before she saw the tell tale glow of it preparing to launch its red lyrium tainted fire. She waited until just the last second to dive away so the impact of the blast next to her made her fly further than she would have otherwise.

She struggled to her feet and faced were she knew Corypheus would appear through the flames. She felt the Dragon land and the ground shake as it bounded in her direction. Don't look, don't look. She chanted to herself trying to keep her back straight as she felt the force of its roar hit her back. 

“Enough” Corypheus shouted as he walked predictably through the flames. His form, however, was much more grotesque then she was prepared for. The red lyrium growing from his flesh pulsed like a heartbeat, lighting up his withered and stretched out flesh like an ominous alarm. His elongated and blackened hands stretched towards her in a clawed parody of a pointed finger. Sickly yellow eyes glared balefully at her as he spoke. “Pretender. You toy with forces beyond your ken no more.”

“Finally.” Emma sighed quietly and tried to stand tall, but she’d admit that was pretty difficult with a dragon breathing down her neck. Guess it was time to start the script questions and buy that time. “What are you? Why are you here?”

“Mortals beg for truth they cannot have. It is beyond what you are. What I was. Know me. Know what you have pretended to be. Exalt The Elder One, the Will that is Corypheus.” It was just like the game: full of dramatic pointing, “You will kneel.” 

Emma shook her head and tried not to let her voice tremble. “No.”

“You will resist. You will always resist.” He reached within his robe, at least she hoped it was from his robes, and withdrew Solas’ orb. “It matters not. I am here for the anchor.” The orb glowed a corrupted red. “The process of removing it begins now.” 

Emma felt her hand crackle and spit angrily. She tried to bite back her scream of pain but failed as her knees gave out, causing her to fall to the snow. Her nerves felt like they were melting, boiling through her muscles in streams of agony.

Corypheus droned on in that grating bass. “It is your fault, Herald. You and your Qunari pet interrupted a ritual years in the planning and instead of dying you stole its purpose. I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as touched, what you flail at rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens.”

Emma tried to struggle to her feet and fight through the pain but every time she tried to stand her legs failed her. She saw the dragon circle her, letting out low growls that vibrated in her bones.

“And you used the Anchor to undo my work. The gall!” Corypheus spat.

“The anchor... is mine.” She panted through the pain. “You can't have it.”

“You can’t even comprehend its purpose, and yet you claim it.” Corypheus scoffed as he stalked forward and snatched her up by her marked arm, causing her to scream in pain. A cruel smile twisted his cracked lips. “I once breached the fade in the service of another, to serve the old gods of the Empire in person. I found only chaos and corruption; dead whispers. For a thousand years I was confused. No more. I have gathered the will to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world. Beg that I succeed. For I have seen the throne of the gods, and it was empty.”

She felt pure power from the orb tugging at the anchor. That empty part in her chest she had felt earlier lurched for it but recoiled when the song it expected and longed for was wrong, wrong, twisted, and vile. The power pulled and yanked painfully at her arm with so much intensity that she wished Corypheus would just cut it off and be done with it. 

Corypheus suddenly growled and she felt herself be flung through the air like a ragdoll. Her back connected with the wooden frame of the trebuchet. She felt a rib snap and searing pain stab up her spine and side. “The anchor is permanent. You have spoiled it with your stumbling.” He growled.

Emma struggled to pull herself upright, biting her lip and forcing herself to move through the pain as she used the trebuchet to pull herself to her feet. Shit! She growled as more pain flared in her side.

Corypheus and his dragon advanced on her and she looked to the sky. Please please please. “So be it. I will begin again. Find another way to give this world a nation and god it requires.” And there it was. That beautiful flaming Arrow streaking through the sky like a shooting star. “And you, I will not suffer even an unknowing rival. You must die.”

Emma forced herself to stand straight as she pulled her dagger from its sheath and tossed Corypheus what she hoped looked like a grin. “Thanks for the speech, asshole.” She swung her dagger as hard as she could and sent Herritt a mental ‘thank you’ for the razor sharp blade as it sliced the rope cleanly through and embedded into the wooden frame.

She heard Corypheus’ roar of anger as she ran for it and jumped from the wall. She heard the beat of the dragon’s wings, preparing to bear its blighted master to safety, as her feet hit the snow bank beneath her. The roar of the mountain as the trebuchet hit true and it released the snow that had clung to its side. Each breath was fresh agony as her lungs and muscles pressed against her broken rib with each frantic step.

She was almost to the mine shaft, just another fifty yards. Then she heard it. A wail…. a terrified wail that only a newborn child could make. Emma forced her feet into the snow to slide to a stop, falling and jarring her side painfully. She looked around frantically, there wasn't much time; she could hear the avalanche making its way closer.

There…. there ten yards away someone was huddled on the ground. It was too small a form for a Templar. One of theirs? A young soldier? The wailing grew louder as Emma struggled towards them. “Hurry!” She yelled at the top of her lungs as she neared the figure. “We must hurry.”

She tripped a few feet from the figure and scrambled through the snow, reaching out blindly to grab their arm. “C’mon!”

The person’s arm was sticky with blood and black with burns and Emma cursed as she hurried to turn them over, searching for the baby she could hear so clearly now. She caught a glimpse of blistered elvhen ears and felt her heart clench as she heaved the slight form over and found Gaelathe wailing underneath his mother’s charred body. 

“No no nonononono.” She whimpered under her breath as she snatched Gaelathe from the snow, her rib screaming in protest. The ground shook beneath her feet and she didn’t have time to stop, to think, not even to check if Frya was still alive. She clutched Gaelathe close and sprinted the final few yards to the mine, curling around the baby to protect him as she jumped and crashed through the rotted boards, tons of snow thundering over them and sealing them into the mine.


	24. Chapter 24

Cullen watched from the tree line as the dragon flew away and the avalanche fell, burying Haven under enough snow to cover even the Chantry roof. There was no chance she could've made it inside and to the tunnel in that short window of time between setting off the trebuchet and the avalanche hitting.

He clenched his jaw at the realization that she was gone. She had walked out of that Chantry knowing she wouldn't have time to escape. He clenched his hands into fists, it should have been him. He should have insisted that he take her place. 

She was too pure, too vibrant to have it end like this. What was he? An ex-Templar struggling with the withdrawals of lyrium. He was expendable. She… she is- was one of a kind.  
He turned to where Bull and Blackwall were supporting Damon’s limp form between them. She had been so determined to go alone that she had had Solas drug her best friend, her brother. The mage stood off to the side, eyes not leaving the scene of Haven even though it was now completely buried.

Anyone with eyes could tell how the elf cared for her, even if the mage himself didn't. He didn’t know why he felt shocked that Solas would go to such extremes to protect what she loved. 

He looked over the soldiers that stood behind them. Some had obvious tears in their eyes, others had angry and shocked expressions as they realized their Herald had fallen. In the short months he had known her she had managed to win the hearts of his soldiers with an early morning snowball fight of all things. He remembered her impish grin as she had dragged him into it, dropping a snowball into his hand and making him a partner in crime. Maker, he had lost his heart to her as well in that moment.

He shook his head of those thoughts and clenched his jaw in determination. He had to get his men, Damon, her friends, everyone to safety. That what she would have wanted him to do. The civilians had a camp further up the mountain, they had supplies enough to make it weeks in the mountain at her insistence. She was still taking care of them even after she was gone. They hadn't deserved her.

“Everyone, move out!” He forced himself to bellow the command, even though it tasted like ash in his mouth.

 

 

Bull readjusted Damon’s arm over his shoulder, hitching him up higher. Damn that girl. He gave Haven just enough of a glance to confirm that there was no way she could of gotten out. She died for these people, but had denied Damon his choice to do the same. He could maybe admit that he felt bad for her… missed her already if he was honest. But it was hard to think about with her brother’s body hanging off his shoulder. 

It was hard to hold the image of her pushing Damon into a lake in his mind next to the image of her watching Damon fall to the floor. Didn’t make sense. How a person could be teasing punches and playful jokes but still betray a… a friend like that. 

Bull glanced at Solas as they walked past him. The elf was still staring at Haven, clutching his staff so tightly he wondered if it would break. The mage made more sense. You did shit for the people you decided to follow, and Solas had decided to follow Emma way back. Bull would bet that thing she had whispered to him had been the order to take Damon out, and even though he’d obviously not wanted to, he had still done it. 

He had to give it to her, she had made preparations. She'd known exactly how Damon would react to hearing she was going to sacrifice herself and had planned ahead of time how to deal with it. It was smart… so why did it irk him so much?

Before he’d met her on the coast, he had thought she was a fraud. Climbing the social ladder with the hand she'd been dealt. But the girl he’d met on the coast was earnest, kind hearted, soft even. She’d looked at everyone around her like she truly cared for them. Even him, who she had just met, who she knew was there to spy and report on her. She’d cared.

Allright, fine. He would admit to himself, and only himself, that he was upset, sad even, that she was gone. Even with the creepy knowledge and ‘non-magic’, she had been good company. He would miss her. But, for now he needed to get her brother to safety. That would have been her final request, he was sure of it. She had been all about protecting people. 

 

 

Varric walked slightly behind Bull and Blackwall as they carried Damon through the snow to where the civilians were camped. He had seen the snow cover Haven. Princess was gone. Shit, he’d known from the beginning that the story never ended well for the hero, but this?

It was hard to think that the woman that had walked out those doors to her death had been the same weak little thing he’d helped escort to the breach. Princess, he'd called her that because Damon was constantly picking her up and carrying her everywhere.

She was a treasure, her heart still naive, full of love and wonder for the world. She gave hugs to perfect strangers and treated them all like long lost family. She cared for them all.  
He’d seen the hurt and conflict in her eyes as she’d knelt by Damon. She would protect him even if she had to lie to him. He got that. How many times had he lied to protect his friends? To protect Hawke? Bianca? He'd never had to give them a knockout potion but there was no telling what he'd be willing to do if he were desperate enough.

He looked back, Chuckles still hadn't moved from that spot where he looked over Haven. He knew what the Elf was feeling. You only realize what you have after it's gone, in this case, after she's gone. Oh, he’s sure Chuckles hadn't even realized how far he had fallen. He pitied him, this wasn't how anyone should find out they cared for someone. After it was too late.

He looked over at the Seeker who was walking solemnly behind Curly. Her shoulders were slumped in defeat. She was the kind of woman that expected everyone who was good to be noble and keep their word no matter the cost. She wouldn't understand why Princess had done it. He feared none of them would.

 

 

Blackwall couldn’t look back at Haven. It made him feel sick to his stomach with guilt. That girl, the Herald, had walked out those doors knowing that she would die, and she had done it to save them. Him. He should have been the one to spring the trap. He wasn’t worth a quarter of what she had been. Maybe dying to give the others their escape would have finally redeemed him. But he had followed orders, hadn’t fought her… though, judging by the dead weight of her own brother on his shoulder, fighting her probably wouldn’t have helped. 

The girl knew things, always with the knowing. She’d known where to find him. She’d known events that hadn’t happened yet. She’d known how Damon would want to follow her to the grave, a protective shadow behind her sacrifice. He wasn’t certain how well she had known him. Surely, if she’d known she wouldn’t have let him join her ranks… but he doubted she would have let him die for her. 

In the few weeks he had traveled with her she had proven time and time again that she wanted to save lives. Wanted to help, make things better. It had put him to shame and gave him an example of what he aspired to be.

He struggled on under Damon’s weight, carrying him forward to the camp that the Herald had ordered before… before the attack on Haven. Even in death, she protected. But yet… she had betrayed her friend. Damon had been willing to go under the snow with her, had made his choice, and she had lied to him. Made him think they would save everyone together, and then she had someone else he had trusted betray him. Damon hadn’t even hesitated to drink the offered potion. Had trusted it would heal, that it would give him strength to follow the Herald one last time. She had let him down. Had watched him fall and had turned away. 

The knot of guilt in his stomach tightened. He had no place in judging her.. But it still felt wrong. You don’t betray the trust of your brothers. She had been a great woman, but still she had wronged him. 

 

 

Leliana walked up next to Solas, the apostate who seemed to have grown close to Emma during the past months. “When did she ask you to give Damon that potion?” 

Solas didn't look at her, his eyes still trained on the ruins of Haven. “Weeks ago,” his voice came out hoarse with the emotion he was struggling to keep from his face. “Before we secured the Mages.”

“Why did you agree?” She was careful to keep her voice neutral, neither approving nor disapproving.

Solas let out a bitter chuckle. “How could I not? She asked me to help her save the life of someone she loved… She has proven herself over and over to care for people, spymaster.” He twisted his hands on his staff as if it were a lifeline. “How could I, in good conscience, deny her the peace of mind of knowing her only family would survive?”

Leliana nodded and looked out over where the little town used to lay. The wretched little village. So many memories, none good, were tied to that cursed place. Part of her was glad to see it gone. 

Emma had been smart. She had planned weeks, maybe months, ahead for this and because of her they all made it out with only a few casualties. Because of her forewarning they had survived.

The girl never claimed to be chosen, never wanted the title of Herald. She was naive and her heart too soft. She reminded Leliana of her younger self, looking and hoping for the best in people. She would go out of her way to save those who were expendable. Simply because she could.

Once Leliana had believed that she was chosen by the Maker, her dream, her vision. She’d believed the Maker wanted her to travel with Cousland to help him end the blight. She was wrong, she was supposed to stop him and… she had failed. All because she wanted to see the good in him, didn't want to believe he was capable of something so heinous. And what did the naivety get her? A knife in the back from a man she trusted… a man she thought she’d loved.

She shook her mind free of those memories and looked down where Emma had fallen. Her supposed sight had unnerved Leliana to her very core, for the girl not only apparently saw glimpses of the future, but also the past. She had somehow known that Leliana had traveled a time with the warden, had known of his betrayal to her... to the Maker. No one knew, outside of those who had traveled with them, what he had done in that temple.

She had misjudged the girl, she could see that now. She had thought she’d been lying about knowing things, but at every turn she had prepared and planned.

She thought of that night in the tavern, it had been cruel of her. She knew when she first asked why the girl wasn't drinking that there had been a deep pain behind the decision. But Emma had hurt her, unintentionally maybe, but in a moment of pettiness she had wanted to do the same. And she hated herself for it.

Josie adored Emma’s ‘bubbly personality’, it would crush her friend to learn of her fate, a fate she chose because she wasn't willing to let anyone else make that sacrifice. Unless….  
Emma had planned weeks to months in advance for this… could she possibly have made plans for her own escape? She knew of the tunnels… of the paths. Could she have had a plan for herself as well?

“Is it possible that she knew a way to survive this?” The question was quietly spoken, she was surprised that it had come out of her own mouth.

She heard Solas’ intake of breath at the question, he must have truly believed her gone. Never in all the months she had watched him had he shown so much emotion. His weight shifted, his stance changing from one without hope to one who was now determined. One with a purpose. “At this point? I wouldn't be surprised.”

“Then we must prepare for that possibility.” She turned away, following the tracks that the others had left in the snow. If it were possible that the Herald, that Emma, had survived, she had faith that the girl would return to them. 

Leliana chuckled to herself at how outrageous that sounded in her mind. ‘She had Faith’. 

 

 

Dorian did not like how the evening had gone. What a wonderful understatement. The Herald had shocked him. She’d seemed so… young. Playful. Trusting. Damn, she had even greeted him with a hug on their first meeting. Who did that? Who hugged a perfect stranger and welcomed them into their inner group? Maybe not the innermost circle, but definitely trusted. Trust. A funny thing to think of when her brother was falling to the floor at her bidding, still reaching out for her. 

He didn’t think the ordeal would have affected him as much as it did if it hadn’t been for Damon reaching for her even as he realized he’d been betrayed. Dorian inhaled uncomfortably, not wanted to show emotions around the others. He wasn’t sure how he fit into this organization now that the Herald was dead.

Damn it all. She was dead and she had known she would be. How could she have remained so… bright? Knowing she would die today? He didn’t know how her Seeing worked, hadn’t had the chance or confidence of allowance to question her about it. But she’d started sending supplies to the mountains before they had left for Redcliffe. Before the day spent splashing in the lake. Solas had prepared that potion long before today. She had planned to betray her friend long before any of them had even realized they were in any danger. 

Had she been thinking of this when she had stolen his coffee and laughed at Damon’s risque theatrics?

It didn’t make sense. 

 

 

Weirdy was dead. Seemed fake, what with the glowy hand and knowing shite. She had to have known this was coming, known a way to get out of the way, right? She had known. Had gotten the little people out of the way, good on her. Had gotten the little people and the big people out of the way but hadn’t jumped herself.

Sera had kept her distance from her. It was creepy, the knowing things, the spirity shite doing things for her. She had to be a mage, a sneaky one. But she didn't act like a mage, she didn't throw firewhatiz’ of freeze things. She acted like a little person, even with the fancy title. 

Sera looked back to where they carried Damon. That was a low blow but Weirdy had said she saved him right? She was trying to protect him, yeah? It looked like an ass thing to do, but if it saved people?

She hadn't seen Droopy Ears coming though, Weirdy had somehow talked the ‘stick up his ass’ into helping her. She was good at that. Getting people to like her. She had wanted to like her, with her joking and playfulness. She wasn't serious like the Seeker, or stuck up like Droopy Ears. She had cared about the little people, cared about what Sera was doing. It didn't matter what someone looked like on the outside, they were still people.

Sera felt a sense of dread wash over her. Without Weirdy, how was the inquisition going to treat the little people without her there to remind them that they matter? Damon sounded like he felt the same as Weirdy, maybe he would continue her fight?

Sera knew one thing: Even though the crazy girl had weirded her out, she’d miss her.

 

 

How could she? How could she betray her friend, her brother, like that? Anyone could see that the two had trusted each other. They had practically been joined at the hip since the day they fell out of the Fade. How could she lie to him? Make him think he had a choice? How could she have used his trust against him like that? 

Cassandra was angry and hurt and… and… sad. She had liked Emma. Had enjoyed her company and childish glee, had like the way she played with Damon as if they were still children. She had seemed so innocent, but had turned away from her brother as he fell and let others catch him. She may have sacrificed herself to save the soldiers, had prepared and saved the civilians, but Cassandra wasn’t sure she could forgive her for what she had done to Damon.

Damon had argued with her. He could have been convinced, she knew it. He was the kind of man who felt the weight of the lives on his shoulders. Emma had not needed to… to end it like that. To make his last memory of her the sight of her leaving him on the floor after giving him a lie to believe in. 

It was wrong. Her heart ached for the loss of her friend, but she could not forgive her for it. Damon had survived and he would be heartbroken. He had lost his sister, his closest friend. By his own words, he had lost the only thing he valued in this world. She tried not to think of how the thought stung. His greatest love hadn’t even used her own hand to seal the betrayal. She had instead used his trust in another to do the crime. 

How could Solas have agreed to this? Was it love? Did it blind some so greatly they would go against a man’s final choice and give him a disguised potion? Would he have done it even if he wasn’t so blatantly besotted? 

It wasn’t faith. The apostate was far from faithful. He had not done the deed because it was the Herald asking. Cassandra had a brief moment of doubt where she wondered if she would have followed the Herald’s command if she had been asked. But no. While chosen, Emma had still been human. Still capable of error. It was wrong, and she would not have obeyed. 

She saw Blackwall stumble under Damon’s weight after having carried it for so long and hurried forward to relieve him. Damon would need their support more than ever now that he was without Emma.

She didn’t understand how Emma could have done this to him… to them. 

 

 

Solas knew the others had left him. He had heard the Commanders orders. But he still could not find the will to move from his vigil. He did not know why he still looked, she was gone. No one could have survived the cascade. But still he watched. Waiting for he knew not what. 

Damon had trusted him and saw him as a friend…. and he had betrayed that trust…. for her.

She had completely baffled him. A human. He had thought of her as nothing but a tool when she had been laying in that dungeon floor. He could not take the mark from her hand, so he had to make sure she survived long enough to fix his mistake. His mistake.

She had shied away from him, the day she first woke she had flinched, he had seen it. In his stubborn bigotry he had assumed it was because he was an elf and she a human. But no. She showed again and again that she didn't care about the race of a person. She had taken in the elf servant, Frya, heavy with child. Embracing her as she would any other woman who had lost their love and was left to raise a child alone.

She had recruited the Iron Bull, made it clear that she didn't care that he served the Qun. It had irked him. Why did she embrace others so freely yet cower at the thought of him being near? He was a fool.

She had known, from the beginning she had known. Known his secrets, known his identity. The Dread Wolf, Fen'Harel, betrayer to his own people. He had been forced to corner her alone in the darkness to find out.

He had thought of running, but what she said made him willing to stay. They’d had a common goal. A common enemy. So he had stayed, and he was glad he did.

Afterwards, her fear of him had seemed to disappear, she had talked to him freely, joking and laughing as she did with the others. Only then did he see how much she truly cared for the people around her. Himself included, it had… humbled him.

She had no fear of spirits, had even sought to gain the favor of some: a spirit of Valor who gifted her with a bow of iron bark. Only a very old and powerful spirit could have achieved such a thing. Yet she was not scared. She had thanked it, and it responded in kind. To him it had showed yet another depth to her he would not have thought to look for.

When he had discovered her and Damon had their own way of communication, his desire for the knowledge had been insatiable. When she asked him to help her find a memory he had jumped at the chance to learn more of her mind; she had successfully blocked his previous attempts with the skill of a dreamer.

The transference of the knowledge he had sought had proven to him how little she actually knew and it had shamed him. He had stolen her knowledge and her memories connected to it. She insisted that she had agreed but how does one agree to something they don’t fully understand? He had unknowingly taken advantage. He had betrayed her trust, even if she hadn't wanted to see it.

With that transfer came memories of wonders he had never seen and many that he couldn't comprehend. He had so many questions, yet had no right to ask them. It was suffocating. The night Valor heated the water for her he realized that the strength of her will didn't restrict itself to the Fade. What a mage she would've made! A dreamer with that much willpower? She would've been something to behold.

Then she had done something that should not have been possible. She had somehow cast a dispel, with nothing but the strength of her own Will. It shouldn't have been possible, but still she had done it. Then she had somehow put herself in uthenera. Uthenera. A human, a mortal. To say it had shocked him would be a understatement. It had terrified him.

He’d watched over her while she slept, he had spoken with Damon and learned more of the man's character. They were alike in many ways, yet very different from each other. He had asked questions to learn more of her condition, and it lead to questions of the Veil. Out of his own curiosity, he had recited the twisted tale the Dalish told of Fen’Harel to him. Damon had surprised him. He immediately looked for reasons to why The Dread Wolf would have created the Veil. Had… empathized with him. 

Once Damon had fallen asleep he had practiced more signs. When he had gone through a simple phrase, “Hello, my name is Solas,” he had not been prepared for the waves of memories and emotions that came with the signing of his own name. He had focused on it… it confused him. His name… the memories…. like looking through a window at himself, an interactive story... The emotions… grief… anger… chaos.... hope… confusion… fear... despair…. and at the very core…. love. How was that possible?

It was a violation but he couldn't help himself, he had signed others’ names, knowing he would be experiencing her private memories and emotions. What he had found? She cared deeply for them all… loved them all. She had tried to explain when she woke but when he… he had tried to scare her, he had questioned her motives, he had thought she would flinch away from him and show that fear she had had in the beginning. But she hadn't.

He took a shuddering breath at the memory of her taking his hand in hers. Gently, tenderly stroking it with her thumbs, and told him with unwavering conviction that she cared.  
He had been glad when Damon had come in, it had given him a chance to flee, to work out the conflicted feelings stirring in his chest. In the week that had followed he had found that he had more in common with the two then he had previously thought. He had found a companionship with them that he had not felt since... he knew not when. Now that companionship was gone…. one he had betrayed… the other, snuffed out like a candle to save the people she loved. 

He felt the tightness in his chest constrict even more as he thought of her sacrifice. He had just thought her to be an ally, but would the death of a ally cause him so much turmoil? He dreaded what the feeling in his chest implied. Had he not impulsively called her by her name? Named her his when she woke? 

He heard the spymaster approach, he answered her questions. She stood there with him, silently remembering the dead, it seemed. Then the last thing he expected happened. The spymaster gave him hope.

Could she have survived? Was it possible she had made a way for herself? That feeling in his chest clung to that sliver of hope…. Hope that she was alive…. that the world hadn't lost her bright spirit…. that he hadn't lost her... 

It took all of his restraint to wait for the spymaster to be far enough away before transforming into his wolf form and bounding down the mountain. If there was a chance she was alive… he would find her.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for endangered baby, but baby will be okay.

Emma landed on a pile of pillows with a cry of pain. They cushioned her fall and kept her from jarring Gaelathe too much, but her rib throbbed from the impact. She wrapped herself around him as the snow fell on top of her. She waited until the thundering above her fell silent before she straightened, forcing her shoulders up through the snow that had fallen into the mine. It wasn’t enough to bury her, but the only way she was getting out of the mine was to follow it like in the games. She shuffled down the dark pathway, quietly shushing Gaelathe, until her feet hit something that clinked like glass. She carefully crouched and felt around with one hand until she managed to grab hold of a corked vial. She couldn’t see what it was right now, so she tucked it into her armor and felt around for her bow. There it was, and that felt like a quiver of arrows. 

Bless you, Cole.

She slung the bow and quiver over her shoulder and pressed a hand against the wall. It was a lot darker than in the games… She took a bracing breath and stepped forward. Only way out was through. She stumbled through the dark, keeping track of her progress by trailing a hand along the side of the tunnel. Finally she saw a light ahead. She hurried towards it, but froze when she remembered the rift. She’d only have one chance to control it, to use it to destroy the demons. She couldn’t fight them with Gaelathe in her arm. 

She inhaled shakily, wincing as her rib twinged, and pressed forward, cringing when her mark flared as she neared the rift. She could do this. She focused on the rift as the demons materialized, reached out and clenching her fist, willing it to do as she asked. The rift felt as if it were struggling against her, but the demons shrieked as she manipulated their connection to the fade. She was sweating when they fell and she forced the rift closed. 

Thank god… 

She allowed herself a moment to catch her breath before pressing forward again. The air was colder now and she could feel the wind biting at her. She pulled Gaelathe’s blanket up to cover his face, trying to protect him from the freezing temperatures. She had to be quick, would have to move fast in order to keep him from freezing. Her heart clenched. He shouldn’t be here. Why had Frya been in Haven? She’d sent them away… 

Her teeth chattered as she finally reached the end of the tunnel and emerged onto the surface. Unlike the game, there was no invisible wall to keep her on course, and the snow was blinding as the wind whipped it around her. She gritted her teeth and put her head down, heading in the direction she remembered. She had to make it. She had to get it right. 

Her legs ached as she struggled through the snow. Her face burned as the icy wind tore at it. Gaelathe whimpered against her chest and she bit back tears. She had to make it. He was depending on her. Step after step, she trudged on, praying that she had remembered the way, praying that she hadn’t veered off course. 

And eternity later, she heard a wolf howl. Or was it the wind? Her chest hitched in a sob, jarring her rib in a flare of pain, but she pressed on. The muscles in her thighs were shaking with the effort of climbing up through several feet of snow and her teeth were chattering painfully. Where was it? Where was it? There. She cried out in relief when the ravine finally appeared through the whipping snow. Almost there… they should be… there… 

There was no relieved shout though. No rescue. She struggled into the ravine, maybe she was misjudging the distance, and came face to face with an enormous white wolf. Her heart dropped and she slowly reached for her bow. She couldn’t shoot it one handed but maybe she could hit it hard enough to make it leave.

Its ears laid back against its skull and something about it seemed so familiar… Like a drawing she’d seen a thousand times before... “Solas?” It ducked it’s head and the air shimmered and shifted around it. Then suddenly it wasn't a wolf, but an elf.

“Solas!” She cried in relief, sinking to her knees in the snow.

Solas hurried towards her, hands glowing and a wave of warmth ran through her before he had even reached where she fell. “Are you alright?” His voice was low as he pressed a hand to her head. His gaze traveled over her, looking for injuries, before stopping on the bundle in her arms. “Em- Ma’falon?”

Emma couldn't explain, her throat closed up with emotion, so she shifted Gaelathe for him to see. Solas sucked in a breath, but immediately his hand was on the babe’s exposed cheek, fingers glowing. Gaelathe whimpered, making Emma’s stomach clench in worry, but his skin flushed as warmth spread through his tiny body and he snuggled into the hand at his cheek.

“That should keep him warm until we make it to camp.” Solas pulled his hand away and turned to her. “Are you hurt?”

Emma almost said no, but the stabbing pain in her side and back overrode her normal desire to not worry people. She nodded. “Broke a rib, I think.”

Solas brows furrowed as his hands hovered over her side. “It is broken.” He confirmed before looking back at her. “I will have to set it so I can heal it properly… it will be painful.”

Emma nodded and looked around for something to bite down on… she had had a broken thumb before that Damon had set when they were younger… sure, it wasn't anything big but it had hurt like the dickens. She pulled one of the leather straps off of her armor and bit down on it, nodding to indicate when she was ready.

Solas moved behind her and rested a hand over her rib cage. As soon as the bone started to shift she felt it: pure agony in her side and back. She tried not to jerk away but whimpered and clenched down on the strap as the pain continued for what felt like hours. “Ir abelas. Just a little more.”

Finally the shifting stopped and menthol cool magic rushed into her, soothing the pain away. It ended too soon as Solas pulled away and moved around to look at her. “That is the best I can do. The bone will be fragile for a few days, but it will heal.”

A few days versus a month or two? “Magic is awesome.” Emma joked.

“Indeed.” Solas chuckled as he pulled her to her feet. “Fortunately, you’ve been moving in the right direction. You may have found us unaided.” 

“Turn right at the snow.” She smiled tiredly as she started trudging through the snow. Again. “So you can turn into a wolf?”

“Among other things.” Solas moved to her side to support her weight should she need it. 

“I knew it.” She muttered triumphantly, shifting Gaelathe. He would probably be getting hungry soon. Would they have a goat at the camp? Something? Emma swallowed thickly around the lump in her throat. What was she going to do?

After they had walked for a awhile, Solas casting a warming spell every few minutes, he asked hesitantly. “How did you survive?”

Emma shrugged. “An old mine shaft not far from the trebuchet.” 

Solas stopped, catching her by the elbow and making her turn to face him, his face unreadable. “You knew you would survive…you knew this and didn't tell anyone?”

Emma swallowed, “I didn't want-”

Solas shook her arm, shocking her into silence. “We thought you went to your death!” His voice was almost a growl, “You couldn't tell us that you’d be fine? You had me betray Damon because you couldn't tell him everything would be alright?” He jerked away and turned his back to her, running a frustrated hand over his head. “Fenedhis! Did you not think?”

Emma took a step back in shock at his outburst. “I- he would have died if he came with me.” She tried to explain. “It was the only-”

Solas turned on her sharply. “You didn't tell him you’d survive! He thought you were going to die… that's why he was so adamant to join you!” The anger in his voice was… far from the Solas she knew. “Everyone thought you were going to die…. and you let them believe it.”

“I- I had to! I can’t- I don’t know how things will work if things are different!”

Solas shut his eyes tightly and took a deep breath. “If you had just explained…” he didn't finish the sentence, but instead shook his head and took her by the elbow again, leading her forward. “Come, what is done is done.”

They walked in silence the rest of the way, Emma knew he was right. She should have explained, but would that have kept Damon from trying to stop her? From trying to follow her? She was trying to do what she thought was best… to keep everyone safe.

Emma’s stomach felt tight when they saw the fires of the camp flickering through the trees. It looked like the councillors had set up away from the soldier and civilian camps. She hugged Gaelathe tightly and pressed forward, trudging through the last few yards of snow. Solas squared his shoulders beside her. He looked like he was bracing himself and he gave her elbow a little squeeze before letting his hand fall away from her.

As they neared the camp, Emma could see Damon leaning over a table, pouring over a map with Cullen, Cassandra, Josephine, and Leliana. They seemed to be arguing about something while the rest of the companions looked on.

Blackwall caught sight of her first and yelled in shock. “The Herald!” The group turned towards her in shock, Cullen taking an aborted step towards her. 

Damon ran towards her. “Emma!” He sounded so relieved that for a moment she hoped he might have forgiven her, might have understood. 

But then his eyes dropped to the baby in her arms and his face fell. The muscles in his jaw bunched and his eyes were hard when he looked back up at her. “Emma. Why do you have Gaelathe? Where is Frya?” 

Emma shook her head. “She’s... “ She couldn’t finish the sentence. Couldn’t say it aloud. 

Damon growled in his throat. “Why was she there? Everyone was moved?” 

Cullen quietly walked to her side; he gently reached out and took Gaelathe from her arms, murmuring something she didn’t catch. Emma wrapped her empty arms around her waist, hugging herself tightly. “I’m sorry. I don’t know. I thought- I thought she was safe.”

He shuddered. “You thought. You thought it would be fine. Just like not telling us about the dragon. Just like not telling us your plan. Just like… This isn’t a story, Emma.” He exhaled shakily and looked away.

“Damon, I-”

He made a slashing motion with his hand, cutting her off. “How could you? How could you do that to me?”

“I had to! You would have died!”

“I didn’t care! I made my choice!” He scrubbed his face with the heels of his hands. “I was gonna go down with you, Em. I-” 

“I couldn’t let that happen! I couldn’t let you die!” She reached for him but he pulled away.

He stared down at her with a furrowed brow, tears wet on his cheeks. “How did you get away.” It was a question but he said it so sharply it didn’t sound like one.

Emma dropped her head, Solas was right. “A- an old mine shaft-” 

“An old-” He swore and raised a hand in an angry gesture. “Then you should have talked to me. Anything, told me no. Told me you’d get away! That you had a plan! But instead you lied and you- You drugged me!” He yelled through his tears. 

“You would have done the same for me!” She said, desperately trying to get him to understand. She had known going into this he would hate her, but it still hurt.

“No. I didn’t, Emma.” He shook his head, his voice chillingly quiet. “Tell me. If I had picked you up and carried you outta that tunnel, would you have been able to stop me?”

She opened her mouth but couldn’t find the words.

His lips peeled back in a soundless snarl. “Tell me!”

She shook her head. She wouldn’t have been able to stop him.

“I could have, easy nuff, but I didn’t. I respected your choice. I trusted that you knew what you were talking about. I trusted you to know our options.” His voice was still quiet and it scared her. “I wanted to go with you, and you said yes. I trusted that you meant it. And then you used him,” He gestured at Solas, who was standing rigid and silent by her side. “To drug me. So no. I wouldn’t do what you did. I trusted you and-” He looked away and swallowed, his tears falling onto his face. He lifted his hands and shakily signed. “You betrayed me.”

With that he turned away from her and walked away, leaving her and Solas in the midst of the group, who were all silently watching with so many different expressions she couldn’t hope to figure them out through her tears. 

She wiped her eyes with the back of her arm and ran, pushing past Leli and Josie to get to the trees. She couldn’t- She couldn’t bear if they- Not right now. She’d deal with them hating her later, but right now she couldn’t. She found a tree and leaned against it, pressing her forehead against its rough bark, and let herself cry. 

She didn't know how long she stood there, pressed against that tree, before a soft voice spoke behind her. “Word is spreading that the Herald has returned.” Solas’ hand rested gently on her shoulder.

Emma swiped her eyes with her sleeve. “I don't care.” She shook her head. “They'll think I came back from the dead…. I don't want-” she bit her lip to keep more tears from falling.  
Solas was quiet for a moment before slowly turning her by her shoulders so that she had to face him. “They are arguing over where to go now.”

Emma folded her arms over her stomach, hugging herself and wishing she had gone up the tree earlier. She knew he had the solution, but didn’t have the energy to bring it up.

“I… may know of a place.” He watched her for a moment before continuing. “But I fear they... mistrust me now and would not choose to consider it.”

She sniffled. “Damon. He- he might listen.”

He exhaled a harsh laugh. “After what I-” He shook his head. “I think not.”

“He's not mad at you.” She slid down the tree trunk until she was sitting in the snow. What a mess she’d made of all of this. 

“I find that hard to believe.” He murmured, as he dropped to sit next to her. “He has the right to be angry at my part in this.”

They sat there in silence for a long time before Emma spoke, breaking the silence. “You should tell him.”

“Have you not been listening?” Solas sighed.

Emma shook her head. “Not about Skyhold… I mean, yeah, about Skyhold too, but about you.” She dropped her voice, barely over a whisper. “About Fen’harel.”

He sucked in a sharp breath and looked at her incredulously. “How would that not make things worse?”

Emma laughed without mirth. “You think deceiving him further won't blow up in our faces?” She leaned her head back and blew out a breath. “Besides you already know our secret.” When he didn't answer her she looked over to find him staring hard at the snow in front of him. “I'm not gonna tell him, so it’s up to you.”

Solas never answered her, so they sat there silently. The sky was crisp and clear; there were so many stars on full display. Under any other circumstances she might have enjoyed it.

 

 

Damon was sitting on a makeshift bed near the edge of camp, cradling Gaelathe and trying to drip warm goat’s milk into his mouth fast enough to keep him from wailing but not so fast he choked him. He’d been at it for almost an hour now, but he didn’t mind, it kept his hands from shaking. Poor kid. He didn’t know why Frya had gone back to Haven, but she wasn’t coming back. Kid was an orphan now. He’d lost a friend and Gaelathe had lost his last parent. He looked up when a shadow fell over them. Solas stood there, clutching his staff with white knuckles but keeping his face expressionless. 

“What?” Damon glanced back to Gaelathe, who’s eyes were finally starting to droop.

“I need to speak with you... Privately.” His voice was careful and hesitant. Dude probably thought he’d explode on him like he had Emma.

Damon stared at him for a long moment, considering. Long enough for Solas’ shoulders to sag in defeat and Gaelathe to finally drift off. “Alright.” He finally decided. He stood and tucked Gaelathe into the crook of his elbow before he headed away from the camp. He had found a bit of a clearing away from the camp while he had been waiting for- for anything. 

He turned his back to the wind to shield Gaelathe from it and glanced at Solas. “What’s up?”

Solas opened his mouth but closed it again without speaking. He looked away uncomfortably, seeming to struggle with what to say.

“I’m not mad at you, y’know.” Damon said quietly. He’d been used just like the rest of them.

The mage’s eyes snapped to him in bewilderment. 

“I should probably be pissed as hell, but I ain’t.” He shrugged, distantly watching Solas’ reactions. Everything felt a bit detached right now. 

“Why- How?” Solas’ brow furrowed in confusion. “I would understand if you were furious, if you…” He trailed off, at a loss for words. 

“I might think twice before taking another drink from you, but I know why you did what you did. I woulda done the same in your shoes. I bet you were workin’ on the same info she gave the rest of us.” He shrugged again, feeling hollow.

“Why does Emma earn your anger but not me? It was my potion.”

Damon chuckled humorlessly. “I trusted Emma to- to not do me wrong like that. Thought I knew her better.” He looked down at the mage. “Been thinking ‘bout what she said to you right before. Sathan. Means please, don’t it?”

Solas nodded and adjusted his grip on his staff. 

“‘Please, Solas.’ Bet the rest was her asking you to do it.”

Solas nodded again, a sharp dip of his chin. “Ma halani, Help me.” He confirmed quietly.

“I ain’t mad at you because I always knew where I stood when it came to you an’ me. I always stood behind her for you and I’m alright with that.” He sighed. “That ain’t changed. She’s… She’s all I got left and I trust you with her. Thank you for bringing her back.” He clutched Gaelathe tighter to his chest and exhaled shakily. “And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry she dragged you into this. I ain’t pissed at you, but I don’ know long it’ll take before I can forgive her. Just… do me a favor? Don’t ever drug me again. Anything but that.”

He shook his head and looked up at the stars. Time to change the subject. Quick. “This ain’t what you wanted to talk about. S’goin’ on?”

Solas turned away from him, his shoulders tense. He turned back to regard Damon before speaking. “I know of a fortress, a place the Inquisition can grow. It has long been empty and waits for a force to hold it.”

Damon looked at him for a long moment. This had Emma written all over it and he didn’t know how to feel about her sending information through someone else. “How do you know about it?” He asked quietly. 

Solas opened his mouth to say something but shut it quickly, and began to pace back and forth.

“S’okay if Emma tol’ you about it. I’ll listen to you even so. You know how to find it?” Damon rubbed his eyes with his free hand. 

Solas shook his head. “She did not.” He looked up at the night sky as if it would provide him with the words he sought. “I told you once.. the story the Dalish tell?”

“Yeah, ‘bout Fen’Harel stoppin’ the war.” Where was this going?

Solas flinched slightly at the name. “The story was…. “ he cut himself off, shaking his head in frustration. “I'm Fen’harel!” He spat out the words.

Damon blinked and considered that, his mind eagerly latching onto the distraction. How could that be possible? Then considered it some more with a reminder to himself at what kind of world he was in right now. “Shit, man. That’s heavy.” And… the weird knowledge, the shiftiness about Emma knowing him, the ‘he’s complicated’… It made sense. Kinda. “How’d you get here? I’m assumin’ that was like, at least a millennia ago.”

Solas turned slowly, looking at him as if he had lost his mind. “This is all you have to say?”

Damon shrugged and widened his eyes dramatically. “Dude, I’m not from around here. If there’s something I’m missing you gotta spell it out for me. I’m just curious about how-” He slapped his forehead in realization. “Uthenera!” He frowned. “Shit, man, You copin’ okay? It’s rough wakin’ up and findin’ everythin’ all weird.”

Solas startled him by letting out a shocked laugh. “I just told you I'm an immortal elf from a legend and you just asked if I was… coping?”

“I ain’t great with words.” Probably not the thing Solas wanted him to focus on, come to think of it… “An’ I’m an accountant from a world with baloney and electricity. Shit’s heavy.” He shrugged. “You’re obviously, uh, nervous about this, but I dunno what else to say ‘cept: you all right?”

A smile played at the Mage’s lips as he shook his head. “Once again, you have confounded me.” He straightened his back and Damon saw him relax. “The fortress was mine, built over a millennia ago.”

“And you’re okay with all of us movin’ in?”

Solas nodded, looking down at his hands. “I have other reasons for giving it to the Inquisition. Besides, it has been vacant far too long.”

“Thank you.” Damon forced a weak smile. 

Solas gave him a bitter smile. “You may want to save your thanks.” He looked at Gaelathe, who was still asleep in Damon’s arms. “Emma has yet to inform the council, but Corypheus caries an elvhen artifact, a foci that he used to destroy the conclave…. an orb…. my orb.”

“So you wan’ us to help you get it back? Seems pretty important to get it away from the crazy guy with a corrupted army anyway.” Damon mused. Must of been taken while he was in that Uthenera shit.

Solas just stared blankly at him for several moments before speaking. “With it he could do untold damage-” He sighed and shook his head. “I had a speech prepared to try and convince you of the need to retrieve it.”

“Seems pretty obvious to not leave nuk- uh, powerful artifacts in the enemy’s hands.” Damon shrugged. He felt really, really, really out of his depth here and really, really tired. And… kinda glad he and- he wasn’t the only one out of place here.

“It would be unwise,” Solas agreed before turning solemn, “Another thing, if word reached others that an elven artifact caused the breach and destroyed the conclave, I would fear for their safety.”

Damon nodded thoughtfully, Gealathe squirmed slightly but didn't wake. He'd seen some of the prejudices against elves already from those that didn't have a cause, so he could just imagine how much more that would escalate if they tried to blame them for that. “Yeah, I see your point. Okay, so we don't tell ‘em. There's no need to bring up its origins.” 

Solas nodded gratefully. “Thank you,” he turned to leave. “I will mark Skyhold’s location on a map for you.”

“Hey, I'm assumin’ you don't want the ‘I'm an immortal elf’ thing getting around, right?”

Solas stopped and looked back at him. “It would not be wise, no.”

“Gotcha.” Damon worried his lip. “I… I might have questions later, if tha’s all right, but later. Not… not tonight. For now, would you go with me to tell the councillors? I don’ want the other’s thinkin’ it’s okay to... “ He ran a hand over his face. “The groups all split ‘bout what Emma did. I don’ want them thinkin’ I’m lumpin’ you in with her and....” He didn’t know how to say it, but half the group ostracizing him would not be good. 

Solas’ brow furrowed in thought, “You are concerned about my position?”

“Somethin’ like that, yeah.”

Solas inclined his head. “Very well.”

“Thanks.” Damon took a deep breath of the cold night air and headed back to camp. 

When they emerged from the tree line he was met by several pairs of suspicious and curious eyes watching them. Damon jerked his head towards the table and walked over, Solas following slightly behind him.

Cassandra scowled and leaned her hands on the table top. “What is he doing here?”

“I asked him.” He said firmly.

She blinked and opened her mouth as if she was going to argue, but Damon started talking over her.

“We got a place to go. An abandoned fortress.”

Leliana eyed Solas sharply, immediately guessing where the knowledge came from. “And how do you know of it?”

Damon waved his hand vaguely at the elf. “He’s got that fade thing. I don’t understand how it works, but he found it. Doesn’t matter, we got somewhere to rebuild. Least we should do is check it out. Better lead than anything else we got.” 

The councillors all looked over his shoulder and Damon turned to see Emma standing awkwardly a few yards away, looking like she didn’t know if she was allowed. Damon set his jaw and jerked his head for her to get over here.

She hugged herself but walked over, standing near the edge of the circle. 

“Right, so, after we check out Skyhold, we’ll need to have another meeting. Discuss what the Herald knows, in detail, away from prying ears. That sound alright to y’all?” He glanced around in question, eyes skipping over Emma quickly. 

Cullen shifted uncomfortably, “Would you be able to mark the location of this ‘Skyhold’ on a map?” He asked, addressing Solas, but his gaze kept jumping between Damon and Emma.

Solas stepped forward and tapped a spot on the map spread out on the makeshift table with his forefinger. “It is due north from here. Roughly a week and a half of travel with a caravan of this size.”

Damon readjusted Gaelathe and nodded. “We’ve got enough supplies for a trip that long. I went over the inventory lists... “ He inhaled. “A few hours ago.”

Everyone was quiet for a long, awkward moment before Leliana spoke up. “It seems we have a plan.” She crossed her arms and looked around the table before her gaze settled on Emma. “Is there anything you need to add, Emma?”

Emma fiddled nervously with the hem of her sleeve. “Corypheus is our enemy, he's an ancient Tevinter mage… and a darkspawn.”

Damon would have to get someone to give him the dumbed down version of what a darkspawn was after all. “Are-” He cleared his throat. “How long do we have until he’s an immediate threat again?”

Emma didn't look up at him, her head lowered and guilt practically radiating through her body language. “We’ll only have to deal with his… commanders for a while. Next confrontation with him won't be-”

“No details. Not here.” Damon cut her off but didn’t look directly at her. There were too many people around for this. “We just need to know if we can get to Skyhold safely right now.” 

Emma shook her head. “He thinks I'm dead. He won't follow.”

He snorted, feeling a sharp sense of humor at the thought. “That’s good.” He glanced over at Cullen, who looked like this was the last place he wanted to be at the moment. “Commander, we have a destination. Let's get our people there.”

As he turned to leave them, Josephine spoke up hesitantly. “I could look into finding a Sister to care for Frya’s ch-”

“No.” Damon’s eyes cut to her sharply. “No. Frya was- Gaelathe is staying with us.” He shuddered and closed his eyes long enough to calm down, clutching the baby to his chest. “Thank you for the offer, but Gaelathe is staying with me and- and the Herald. We… we might need someone to care for him while we’re both out on missions, but Gaelathe stays with us.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fear not, Damon's reactions will be explained! Later... :)


	26. Chapter 26

The trip was going pretty smoothly. It was slower going than he was used to, but considering the number of people they were dragging along there had been surprisingly few problems. Damon was riding at the front of the caravan with most of the main group, letting MoFo follow Solas’ horse while he focused on Gaelathe, who rode against his chest in a sling one of the scouts had rigged up. There was too much time to think up here. He hummed, a song sticking in his head. Gaelathe’s green eyes blinked softly as he started singing quietly. 

“You never know just what you've got, till it's slipping through your fingers. Never know just what you've got, till it's gone with the wind. And you never miss your shadow, till there's no one left beside you, you never miss your shadow, till you're alone, alone in the dark.”

MoFo started edging towards the edge of the path and Damon nudged him back into line with his knee. “But I saw Death's face today, as he led my friend away. I saw Death's face today, as he cast his shadow over me. I saw Death's face today, as he led my friend away, so I'll ask who I gotta pay, to bring her back, bring her back to me.” 

Gaelathe hiccuped and Damon felt a smile crack his face for the first time in what felt like forever. “You never know just what will break you, till you're picking up the pieces. Never know just what will break you, till your world, it falls apart. Never know how small your voice is, till you're screaming at the silence. Never know how small your voice is, till you're arguing, arguing with god.”

“That seems a bit much to be singing to a baby.” Varric’s voice startled him.

He looked over at the dwarf, who had guided his horse to walk beside him. “You never know the words you should've said, until they're all you're left with, until the dirt is falling and the guilt, it burns your bones. And we ask the biggest question: why the fuck did this all happen? Who on Earth deserves this and what the hell do we do now? So we live like we have lost and we love like we are broken, and as the colour leaves the sky, we're left in reverence of the frailty of it all.”

“Yeah, that’s definitely a bit much for a baby.” Varric chuckled with a nervous edge to his voice.

“Maybe, but it’s one o’ the few songs I know.” Damon shrugged. “He don’t know what I’m sayin’ yet anyway.”

“Still, singing ‘bout death to a kid…”

“Like I said, I don’t know many songs.” Damon gave him a wan grin. “Seemed better than the one about liking big butts.”

“Debatable.” Varric chuckled, but sobered quickly. “So how long are you and Princess going to be avoiding each other?”

Damon let his head fall back with a sigh. “I dunno, shortstack. I dunno.”

“She was just-”

“I know.” Damon realized that was a bit harsher than intended and tried again, quieter. “I know what she was trying to do, but she hurt me more than she can understand. It’ll take time for me to get my head straight. We’ll make up eventually, always do.” He shrugged, hoping Varric would drop the subject now.

Varric hummed. “You know…” he worked his reins between his fingers before continuing. “My brother betrayed me once… but the big difference between him and Emma… he did it out of selfishness, left me and my friends to die.”

“What happened to him?” Varric didn’t seem like the type to leave things unfinished.

Varric was silent for a while. “He went crazy… mad… the ‘treasure’ he betrayed me for made him lose whatever sanity he had left, and I-” Varric looked away before finishing. “I ended it.” He shook his head, “What I’m trying to say is that she thought she was protecting you.”

“I’m sorry about your brother.” Damon said quietly. “And… I appreciate you tryin’ to help. I know what she thought she was doin’. I jus’... gotta deal with some shit.” He looked away and blinked, trying not to cry. Damn it. 

“Bartrand wasn't-” Varric cut himself off then shook his head and held up a hand, “I just don't want to see you two torn apart… you two are family, real family.”

Damon inhaled and nodded. “Thanks. I’ll… We’ll be okay. Eventually.” He glanced at Varric. “Promise.”

Varric nodded, apparently satisfied with that answer. “Good,” he then gestured at Gaelathe. “So, what about him?”

“What about him?” Damon involuntarily moved his arm to shield Gaelathe.

Varric chuckled. “As good as that would be for a plotline, you can't run around and save the world with a kid strapped to your back.”

Damon clenched his jaw and looked down at the baby. “I know. I’ll- We’ll figure something out. I’m not gonna abandon him, but I ain’t gonna endanger him neither.”

Varric made a noise in the back of his throat, “I could… I know a few people who could look after him? Just a governess or something?”

Damon nodded, his throat feeling a bit tight at the thought of having to leave Gaelathe with someone else, even temporarily. “Yeah. that’s… That’d be good. Thank you.” He hesitated. “Could- Have Em- The Herald meet them first? In case… in case she recognizes them.” He finished lamely. 

“Sure.” Varric assured him, “Don't worry too much about it, things’ll work out.” 

“Yeah.” He sighed. Enough of that. “Wanna hear another song?” He asked, grinning with enough teeth that Varric should get the hint that he really, really didn’t want to hear what other songs Damon knew. 

“No no no no, I'm good.” Varric said quickly, chuckling, “I kinda get the feeling it wouldn’t do anything to lighten the mood anyway.”

Damon huffed a laugh. “Yeah, probably not.”

 

 

Emma was finally holding Gaelathe again. She hadn’t really been able to see him since Haven, Damon had kept too close a hold on him and she hadn’t… hadn’t felt okay asking for him back. Damon was more shaken than she had even… 

But while they had been riding, Sera had come trotting out of the caravan on her pony and had gone straight to Damon. The two had conversed quietly for a few moments and then Damon had guided MoFo over to her. He gestured for her to halt Caramel, and when they were stopped, had carefully given her Gaelathe, adjusting the sling securely on her. Then he had silently shaken a flask to indicate she should use it, and had ridden off into the caravan with Sera. All without once looking her in the eye or talking. 

It hurt. 

But the flask had milk in it, so Emma focused on trying to feed Gaelathe as much as he wanted while Caramel walked. Gaelathe was sated and making happy baby noises by the time Damon rode back up beside her, Sera no longer with him.

“I had Sera and Cole help me ask around, figure out how Frya ended up in Haven.” He said quietly. His hands were tightly clutching the reins. “Turns out, she told the soldiers that went to get her that the Herald needed her to stay behind. They…” He snorted wryly. “They didn’t question it.”

Emma throat tightened and she hugged Gaelathe closer to her. “Why? Why would she do that?”

“Did you give her the same line about the Breach that we gave the rest of the civilians when she gave you her necklace?” He looked towards the horizon with a blank expression.

“Yes.” 

“I know what that necklace meant to her. She used to take it out and show it to Gaelathe, talk to him in Elvhen. She told me about her mother. She was worried about you.” Damon finally looked at her. “Best we can figure, she stayed so she could help you. She believed in you. By the time she’d have known what was really goin’ down… it’d been too late to get away.”

He leaned over and brushed his fingers over the top of Gaelathe’s head then clicked his tongue at MoFo, urging him back towards the front of the group. She watched him ride up next to Blackwall and strike up a conversation that had Blackwall looking pleased.

Emma pulled Frya's necklace out from beneath her shirt and thoughtfully rubbed the pendant between her thumb and forefinger. Frya wouldn't have… If she had just- 

“Lady Emma?” Emma’s head shot up at the sound of Cullen's voice; he had maneuvered his large black charger to ride beside Caramel.

Emma swiped at the tears she didn't realize had fallen with her sleeve. “Cullen, what can I do for you?”

Cullen shifted in his saddle. “How… uh, how is the little fellow doing?”

Emma looked down at Gealathe, who was still cooing happily, “He's doing good. I think the goat’s milk is sitting well on his stomach.”

“That's… good?” Cullen said awkwardly then cleared his throat. “And… yourself?”

Emma looked over at him and caught sight of the blush on his neck. Was he nervous? Around her? “I'm… good.”

“Good… that's good!” Cullen glanced around them as if looking for something to talk about. After a moment of awkward silence he cleared his throat. “So… you ride well.”

Emma couldn't help the giggle at his awkwardness. “Thank you,“ she smiled. “I grew up on a farm.”

Cullen relaxed in his saddle at her mirth. “So did I, outside of Honnleath.” He looked down at his hand that held his charger’s reins, voice turning wistful. “Though I left to join the order when I was thirteen, part of me misses it.”

Emma nodded. “You never forget your roots.”

Cullen chuckled. “No, you don't, I guess.” He looked over at her and his gaze dropped to Gealathe. “So you and Damon plan on raising him?”

Emma followed his gaze to the baby and nodded, not trusting herself to speak around the lump that suddenly appeared in her throat.

“I think it's a fine thing to do.” Cullen said softly, he leaned in his saddle and rested a hand on her elbow. “If you need anything, anything at all, you need but ask.”

Emma looked over at him and saw the earnestness in his amber eyes. She’d just opened her mouth to answer when Solas’ voice called out. 

“Emma’falon? Are you well?” He asked as he pulled Elgar’alas'nir up along her other side. His brow furrowed in concern as he glanced between her and Cullen.

Emma nodded, “Everything's good. Cullen and I were just talking about our childhoods; we both grew up on a farm.”

Solas’ concern didn't seem to be eased by that. “Truly?” He asked, looking directly at Cullen. “Amazing how people can have the same background but turn out to be completely different.” He cocked his head and Emma knew exactly where he was going. “You were at Kirkwall, were you not, Commander?”

Cullen shifted in his saddle and Emma saw the tension return to his shoulders. “I… yes. Forgive me, but I must see to my men.” He looked over at her and inclined his head. “Emma.” He then pulled his reins sharply away and rode off.

Emma turned to Solas and glared. “Was that necessary?”

Solas feigned ignorance. “Was what necessary?”

“Being a complete ass!” Emma bit out. “You have no idea how hard he's worked to redeem himself.”

Solas frowned. “If you believe I was overly harsh, then I apologize.” He then looked over at her, his gaze contemplative. “I do think you should be more careful in your dealings with Templars for the foreseeable future, however.”

Emma blinked at him her face blank. “What?”

Solas sighed and edged Elgar’alas’nir closer to Caramel. “If we can find a time away from listening ears, we… I need to discuss something of importance with you.”

Emma frowned. “Something important enough to remind our commander of a past he regrets?”

Solas studied her face for a moment. “You-” he cut himself off and looked straight ahead, shutting his eyes. “Ir abalas, Emma’falon. I’ve forgotten how deeply you care for our companions.”

Emma shook her head. “You can't just-” she shrugged, unable to find the words. “Just promise me you’ll be more understanding. We all have things in our past that we regret.”

Solas nodded solemnly. “You are correct.” He then looked down at Gealathe whose eyes were starting to droop and reached over to touch his fingers to his check, a soft glow sinking into the babe’s skin. The warming spell from before.

“Thank you.” She said quietly sending him a small smile. 

Solas nodded in acknowledgment and leaned back into his saddle. They rode together in companionable silence for several minutes before he spoke again. 

“Emma’falon, please know that my actions earlier were meant only with your safety in mind.” Emma looked over at him in confusion but before she could ask what he meant by that he continued. “You have become important to me…. a friend I had not expected to find in this muted world… I would not see you hurt.” With that he kicked Elgar’alas’nir, urging him into a canter to ride next to Damon in the front.

Emma was left in stunned silence.

 

 

He had spoken too soon. The trip may have been going smoothly, but now two carts had busted their wheels, forcing them to have to halt for a few hours to wait for repairs. Blackwall volunteered, showing an impressive ability with woodwork. Damon stood off to the side and kept half an eye on the process while he set about filling up the bottle that Josephine had bought off a family in the caravan. Emma had quietly returned Gaelathe to him when he’d asked. He didn’t like how meek she seemed right now but there was nothing for it. A shadow fell over him as he tied the cloth nib onto it and he looked up to see Cassandra watching with interest.

“What is that?”

“Baby bottle. Once he figures it out it’ll be a lot easier to get him fed.” He double knotted the tie, “he’ll be less prone to gas an’ colic too.”

She shifted her weight and asked. “May I try?”

“Yeah, sure!” He nodded towards a barrel near him and she sat down. He passed Gaelathe over to her and she was a bit more confident about holding him now. “Right, just lift his head up a bit higher. There.” Damon passed her the bottle and showed her how to hold it, smiling at the determined wrinkle between her eyebrows.

Gaelathe was fortunately an adaptable baby and figured out the new method of eating real quick. Cassandra smiled brightly. “He took it! Did you see?”

He grinned, enjoying her excitement. “Yeah! You’re doin’ great!”

Cassandra watched in fascination as Gealathe worked on the bottle. Gealathe suddenly smiled around the nib making Cassandra giggle, actually giggle. “He smiled at me!”

“Shit! That’s awesome!” Damon leaned over her shoulder to see him closer. “Baby smiles are the best.”

“They are wonderful.” she agreed enthusiastically. 

He chuckled. “He must like your smile too.”

Cassandra blushed but laughed dismissively. “With a smile like that he’ll be breaking hearts before long.”

He took a second to steal a fond glance at her before replying. “Eh, hopefully we’ll teach him some sense before then. C’mon, you gotta burp him in the middle of the bottle. I’ll show you.”

She looked nervously between him and Gealathe before getting a determined set to her jaw and nodding. “How do I-?”

Damon reached over her and took the bottle. “Put him up on your shoulder, like this.” He reached over her and helped her position Gaelathe on her chest. “Then, pat his back till her burps.”

She started timidly tapping the baby’s back with her fingers and Damon snickered. “No, you gotta actually get some effort in.”

Cassandra looked at him, horrified, “But he's so small… I don't want to hurt him.”

“He’s a bit tougher than you’d think.” Little guy had survived quite a bit already… “You’re not going to beat him, you just gotta do a little more effort.”

“But-”

“I’ll let you know if you do too much.” He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. 

Cassandra nodded hesitantly and resumed patting Gealathe’s back, still too softly.

He gave her an encouraging smile. “A bit firmer. Like this.” He put his hand over hers and showed her how much force to put into the patting. “You gotta help get the air out.” 

She nodded a bit more confidently this time and began patting his back with the exact same pressure that Damon had. Not two seconds later she was rewarded with a healthy belch from Gealathe, making her chuckle and smile brightly at Damon. “I did it… he burped, did you hear?”

“I heard! Great job, Cass.” He grinned. It was always pretty cool to see people react to baby things. “Now you just gotta get the rest of the milk he wants into him, then burp him again.”

This time Cassandra adjusted him without any help and offered the bottle confidently. Gealathe latched on immediately, making her smile and coo at him. 

“Badass.” He murmured.

She tore her eyes away from Gealathe to glare at him. “You are mocking me.”

“Not at all, actually.” He reached over and rubbed a thumb over the little guy’s forehead. “Babies are hard but you’re rockin’ it. ‘S badass.”

Cassandra looked down at the baby in her arms and smiled gently. “I think I will take that as a compliment then.”

“S’best compliment I got.” He laughed.

“Damon!” Cullen called out as he headed in their direction. “The carts have been repaired, I was hoping we could cover a bit more ground before we lose the sun, if you're agreeable?”

“Yeah, let’s move out!” Damon called back, straightening up from where he was still leaned over Cass’s shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Damon sings is The Colour of Leaving by Parkway Drive  
> link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UiXwI1mmYSM


	27. Chapter 27

Emma didn't know what was going on with Damon and it worried her. She'd known he'd be angry, that he'd be hurt and would hate her, but she didn't think he'd be so... scared. That was the only word she could think of to describe him right now. He was the kind of guy that just ran into his problems head on and beat what he could change into line. This... Quiet avoidance worried her.

He was sitting by the remnants of the campfire, staring at the embers and scratching absently at his wrist. His eyes were red and he looked like he hadn't slept in days. He startled badly when Bull clapped him on the shoulder; somehow he hadn't noticed him approaching.

"Hey. Let's spar."

Damon started to shake his head, but Bull just pushed him. "C'mon, Boss. You need to get your head straight."

Damon closed his eyes and nodded sharply, standing up and shaking out his arms. "Alright. Yeah."

The pair walked off to a clear area and Emma hesitantly followed, not sure if she was allowed but unwilling to let Damon out of her sight while he looked so lost. A few soldiers moved with her, coins already flashing as bets were placed on which massive Qunari would come out on top. There was a joke there that Damon would have appreciated.

Bull grabbed Damon by the back of the neck and pulled him close, murmuring something she couldn't hear. He gave her brother a slight shake and Damon nodded with a grim expression. 

The pair separated and Damon raised his fists defensively, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. Emma chewed on her thumbnail nervously. This was going to get bloody. Fast. 

Bull threw a few easy punches and Damon deflected them easily, responding with jabs that were more testing than attempts to hit. It looked like they might spend a while figuring each other out until Bull suddenly switched strategies and charged at Damon with his head down. Emma's breath caught in her throat but Damon spun away from his horns at the last second and hit the back of Bull's head with an open hand, a move not meant to hurt. 

"C'mon, Boss! Hit me already!" Bull taunted as he sauntered back into range, leaving himself wide open even to Emma's less than skillful eye. 

Damon shrugged and threw a punch at Bull's unguarded stomach. Bull accepted the blow with a grunt and took advantage of Damon's reach to drive his offside fist directly into Damon's jaw.

Damon's head snapped back and Emma could see blood when he shook his head, baring his red streaked teeth in a feral grin.

After that... after that all pretense at strategy was left behind. They swung at each other viciously, snarling when blows landed and never once pulling a punch. There was blood on the snow and Emma's heart was in her throat when Bull finally won the upper hand by rushing Damon and forcing him off balance with his shoulder. Damon slipped in the trampled snow and Bull forced him down, using his knee to pin Damon's chest to the ground. He hit him, once, twice, in the face before Damon tapped him on the leg.

Bull looked at Damon for a long moment before moving off of him, holding out a hand to help him up. Damon laughed ruefully and accepted the help, shaking his head like he was dizzy. He said something low, and the pair gave each other friendly shoulder slaps before walking side by side towards the healers' tent. 

Emma didn't understand it, but Damon's step was lighter, despite a slight limp, and he was talking animatedly about some move Bull had done. Their faces were swelling rapidly and they left drips of blood in the snow behind them, but they smiled with bloody teeth and shoved each other playfully with their shoulders.

"Andraste's tits, imagine what it'd look like if they'd actually wanted to kill each other!" 

Emma looked over to see Sera happily tying her coin purse shut.

“I’d rather not.”

The rogue wrinkled her nose. “Yeah, prob’ly be all squishy and messy.”

“Thank you for that mental image.” Emma winced.

“Where’s the li’l one? Seems you two haven’t set him down since the showdown.” 

“Cassandra has him. She’s determined to figure babies out.” Emma folded her empty arms uncomfortably. The sight of Damon’s bloody smile lingered in her mind. 

“What's there to figure out? They eat, sleep, cry, and shite. Simple.”

Emma huffed a laugh as Sera sauntered off. Simple. Right.

 

 

Damon rode up to Solas, catching his eye and signing. “Ride up front with me? I got some questions if you don’t mind.”

The mage hesitated but nodded, digging his heels into his mount’s sides to urge him forward. MoFo automatically hurried to follow, barely needing Damon’s knees to keep him next to Solas. Bless this horse. Once they were far enough in front of the caravan that they would be safe from listeners, Solas slowed his horse to a moderate pace and looked at him.

“What do you wish to know?”

“Wa’s Fen’Haral mean?” Damon kept his voice low even though they were pretty far away from the rest of the group. He prodded at his split lip with his tongue. The healer had only dealt with his concussion, the worst of the bruising, and his fractured knuckle, saying that he deserved to heal the rest naturally. No matter, he was used to black eyes taking more than five minutes to mend.

Solas inhaled deeply before replying. “The most accurate translation would be Dread Wolf.”

“Huh. Can you actually become a wolf? Or did your parents just have shitty taste in names like mine did?” It’d be really fucking awesome if he could actually turn into a wolf.

Solas smiled at that and shook his head, “My name is Solas. Fen’harel came later, an insult I took as a badge of pride. The Dread Wolf inspired hope in my friends and fear in my enemies.” He then smirked. “And yes, I can shift into a wolf, among other things.”

“Badass.” Damon grinned. “Think you could show me sometime?”

Solas glanced back at were Cassandra rode next to Cullen. “Perhaps. However, shapeshifting is frowned upon by the Chantry. You’ll understand my caution.”

Damon nodded. Yeah, completely understandable. “So… What were the Evanuris?” Damon had found a book about Dalish lore in Emma’s things but hadn’t ever gotten past the first two chapters, so he was probably sounding like a first class idiot right now. 

Solas frowned and looked up at the sky. “The Dalish believe them to be gods, their creators. But the truth? They were Mages, infinitely powerful.” 

Damon sat thoughtfully for awhile before asking. “If they was jus’ Mages then how’d they get to be remembered as gods?”

Solas sighed. “Slowly… it started with a war. War breeds fear. Fear breeds desire for simplicity. Good and evil. Right and wrong. Chains of command. After the war ended, generals became respected elders, then kings and finally gods: the Evanuris.”

Maybe it was a good thing he hadn’t read any more of that book. “So that story you told?” Damon glanced over at Solas, noticing his uncomfortable posture. “Hey, you don’t gotta talk about this if you don’t wanna. I’ve got questions but you don’t owe me answers or anythin’.”

“No, you deserve answers.” Solas took a deep breath. “The story you heard has been passed down for a millennia and twisted with each telling.” He shook his head and looked over at Damon. “Absolute power corrupts. As the Evanuris grew in power they steadily desired more. It became a practice to enslave their followers. The more slaves and followers, the more power they had. They fought bloody wars among themselves for hundreds of years. The crimes against my people were…. unimaginable. I sought to set my people free from the would be gods. I broke the chains of all who wished to join me. The false gods called me Fen’harel and when they finally went too far I formed the Veil and banished them forever. Thus, I freed the elvhen people and in doing so…. destroyed their world.” Solas voice was full of regret and self torture. “Cut off from their connection to the Fade, the elves began to age and change as generations continued.”

”Why not jus’ kill the Evanuris?”

Solas chuckled, but Damon could tell there was no mirth behind it. “Would that it was that simple.” He shook his head. “The first of my people do not die so easily.”

Oh. Right. Immortal. And the dude probably wanted to avoid more war. “Sounds like ya’ didn't have much of a choice then.” 

“No, every other alternative was worse. Had I not created the Veil the Evanuris would have destroyed the entire world.” Solas looked down at the reins in his hand and worried them between his fingers. “The Evanuris were banished forever, paying the ultimate price for their misdeeds.”

“Man, that's…. a lot to think on.” Damon blew out a breath. When Emma had said he was complicated, she hadn’t been kidding. “Thanks for… tellin’ me about it.”

Solas inclined his head but didn't look at him, his jaw clenching. They rode in silence for several minutes before Solas spoke. “There is another thing you should know.”

Damon didn't know if his head could handle much more but he shrugged his shoulders. “Shoot.”

Solas paused slightly at his phrasing but continued. “Emma knows, but the mark… on her hand. It is mine.” Damon sucked in a breath but remained quiet and nodded for Solas to continue. “I can only surmise that when the two of you stumbled across Corypheus at the temple, she came in contact with the orb, taking the mark before Corypheus could claim it for himself.”

“Shit. You don’ go halfway with the confessions.” Damon felt like his laugh was a bit too near hysteria. “If it’s yours does that mean you do know how to get it off her?”

“I tried, but in my weakened state-” Solas shook his head. “I woke from uthenera a little over a year ago. I was not strong enough to remove it from her. I could only soothe it's fusing with her hand. If she had died, the mark would have been lost. All hope of closing the breach and stopping Corypheus would have been lost.”

“Huh. That’s why you were on her like glue at first.” And why Emma had been so nervous around him as well. “So… if the orb put it there can the orb take it off?” 

Solas nodded. “That is my hope.” 

Damon nodded, sounds like they really needed to get that orb back then. 

“I had a question, if you would entertain it?” Solas asked quietly.

“S’only fair. Go for it.” 

Solas’ brow furrowed. “That song you sang to Gaelathe?”

“The Colour of Leaving? What about it?” That was a hell of a subject change but Damon could roll with it. 

“Why-” Solas frowned. “What made you decide on that particular song? The lyrics…” he didn't finish the sentence but Damon was starting to see why the song might shake him considering what he’d just confessed.

Damon shrugged. “Seemed better than the song about setting everything on fire.” He reconsidered a bare second later. Joking didn’t feel okay right now. “It’s… This ain’t the first time Emma’s left me behind.” He continued quietly. “Losin’ Frya, getting… forced to stay behind again. It… That song’s gotten me through some shit before and it seemed… fitting.”

Solas glanced back and Damon assumed he was searching out Emma among the crowd behind them. “That is…. hard to picture. Emma seems devoted to her friends.” He looked back at Damon then shook his head apologetically. “Forgive me.”

“You’re fine. Emma is devoted. Loyal as fuck, but…” He ran a hand over his face. “Have you found her up a tree yet?” 

Solas furrowed his brow in concern, questions clear in his eyes, but he just shook his head.

“She’s devoted, but when she’s hurt she runs. I spent many a year trying to drag her down outta trees.” He huffed a wry laugh. He knew better now. “She comes back, always does. Just… might take a bit longer than you’d expect.” Or need.

He looked up at the sky and blinked hard to ward off tears. “You never miss your shadow till you’re alone in the dark, but I’ll ask who I gotta pay to bring her back to me.” He glanced at Solas. “Does that… does that answer your question?” 

“It does.” Solas nodded solemnly, “Ir abelas, if I have caused bad memories to return.”

“Nah, you’re good. They’ve been there.” Damon huffed and smoothed his thumb over his empty wrist. 

They rode in front until the sun was about to set and it was time to halt. It took about two hours for the caravan to set up camp. They’d started serving mass meals for the trip. It was easier to make sure everyone was fed and also keep track of supplies than to just leave people to fend for themselves.

Damon finished his bowl of bland stew before deciding to hit the sack. They had set him up a personal tent since that first night after Haven; Emma was in another one not far away. If he was honest with himself he missed the company but right now he…. just couldn't.

It took a few hours of tossing and turning and staring blankly at the canvas before he was able to drift off. 

Damon woke with a bitten off cry in his throat and cold sweat sticking his blanket to his skin. He sat up and scrubbed at his face with shaking hands. That was... A new one. Worse. Worse than he could… He growled and threw the blanket off. He needed to-

“Godfuckingdamnit!” He fell back onto his butt when Cole appeared right in front of him, startling him badly enough that his hands stopped shaking. “What are you doing here, kid?”

“You’re hurting. Blood on my hands, blood in the-”

“I know!” Damon cut him off before he could rehash his dreams. “But what are you doing here?”

“Oh.” Cole held a small bag out to him. “Your hands remember the hurting, but they can remember something soft as well.”

Damon took the bag hesitantly. Cole still hadn’t quite figured out helping just right yet. “What is it?”

“Clicking, clacking, creating, calming.” The boy tilted his head. “You used to do it all the time, in the trees and on the horses. You should again. It helps.”

Damon looked into the bag and smiled at the sight of a ball of black wool yarn and a set of double-point needles. He hadn’t knitted since… He looked up at Cole. “Did you pay the people you took this from?”

“Pay? Trade. Give and take and give.” He shook his head and frowned. “No.”

“Here.” Damon rummaged around the tent, feeling for his belt. There. He pulled out a couple of the heavier coins, worth way more than a ball of wool and a set of needles. “You can leave this with them. Then they can get more things they need or want.”

Cole considered the coins. “I help you and you help them and everyone hurts less.”

“Yeah.” Damon huffed a laugh. “Yeah, pay it forward, kid.”

When he looked up Cole was gone, but he still had the bag. He smiled softly. He knew exactly what to make with this. 

 

 

Today was looking brighter. Damon had come straight out of his tent this morning and had made a beeline to where Dorian was brewing coffee. They had talked for a bit and then Damon had poured a cup of coffee and brought it over to her. He had handed it to her silently with a forced smile, kissed Gaelathe on the forehead, and walked off purposefully. It seemed... it seemed like he was trying and the hope that they maybe could be okay one day was wonderful. 

Damon hadn't talked to her since, instead riding next to Blackwall and listening intently to what the man was saying while knitting with some black wool he had somehow acquired. She hadn't seen him knit in so long. It made her smile to see him back at it, guiding MoFo with his knees as he worked. She didn't mind the avoidance so much today; he was trying and that helped. 

Solas was shadowing her. At first she had thought it was simply because the group was kinda giving him the cold shoulder, though Damon treating him like normal helped, but the third time he narrowed his eyes at Cullen when he rode too close, she turned on him in exasperation and signed. "Let's ride to the front and talk about whatever has you acting like Cullen is going to stab me if he gets too close."

Solas frowned and signed back. “As you wish.” Then he got a puzzled look on his face a moment before she saw his ears turn a suspicious shade of pink. He looked forward and nudged Elgar’alas’nir with his heels, riding towards the front of the group. Emma wondered what that was about but followed. Damon looked up and frowned as they passed but she signed ‘fine’ and he settled back in his saddle, thankfully not following them. After they were far enough out, Solas pulled up and waited for her to catch up.

“So what’s the deal with Cullen?” She asked as she pulled Caramel up alongside him. 

Solas held out his hand and gestured for her marked hand. “You haven't let me heal it for several weeks. Does it not pain you?”

“It itches.” She sighed as she complied and let him grab her hand. “And I asked you a question.” No way was she going to let him change the subject.

Solas’ hands glowed and the incessant itching was soothed instantly. “If you have patience I'll attempt to explain.” A hint of a teasing smile played on his lips.  
Emma huffed as his cool magic continued to wrap around her hand. Part of her wanted to see if she could feel it like she had in the Chantry before- she cut that thought short before it could go further, ignoring the ache in her chest. “So, about Cullen?”

Solas hummed and let go of her hand. “You said after you closed the breach, it sounded like a song… the magic?”

She nodded. “Yeah, I think it was the magic. It… was like a song I’ve heard before but can’t remember.”

“And my magic?” He searched her face with an odd expression. “How would you describe it?”

“Like a similar song, but colder?” She shrugged. This didn’t make sense. “I'm sorry, I don't understand where you're going with this.”

Solas smiled. “You have all the markers of being a mage. Your ability to dream consciously in the Fade, your sensitivity to spirits and magic, your extraordinarily strong willpower-”

Emma waved her hand, stopping him. “But I'm not a mage. You said so yourself, there's no magic in me.”

Solas gave her a frustrated look. “I'm aware.” He sighed. “The fact that I couldn't sense magic in you, is why I made the assumption in the first place. The evidence, however says otherwise.”

“But-”

Solas held up his hand. “Please allow me to finish.” He smiled when she wrinkled her nose as him. “It is possible that you are in fact a mage, but that your ability to draw from the Fade is hindered…. blocked in some way. That is why I could sense no magic in you save for the mark.”

Emma looked down at the mark thoughtfully. That was- but how? She was blocked from the Fade? “So... I'm like a tranquil?”

Solas’ head snapped towards her, looking alarmed. “No! Far from that!” He looked just as shocked by his outburst as she was and continued in a more sedate tone. “A tranquil is completely cut off from the Fade, they cannot dream and are emotionless. You are very much connected to the Fade and it responds to you eagerly in your dreams. You are simply unable to draw from it as other Mages do.” He looked at her with a furrowed brow. “I hope this also explains my discomfort with seeing the commander near you… if he or any Templar should suspect-” he shook his head. “For my sake, be cautious, emma’falon.” 

She turned that over in her mind. It would be hard to explain if something like what happened at Redcliffe were to happen again. She hoped Cullen wouldn't view her differently if that were to happen, but still: he had a point. She nodded and he visibly relaxed.

She didn't speak for a while before softly, hopefully, asking. “Could it ever be… Could you unblock it?” To hear that song again…

Solas gave her a gentle smile that did something to her insides. Nope… she mentally shook herself. She wasn't an elf and this wasn't a game. 

“I promise I will try to find a way. If it is within my power, I would see you truly connected to the Fade.” He glanced behind them, then smiled back over at her playfully . “We should return to our companions, before they believe us to be plotting our next foul deed.” 

Emma tried to laugh, she did. But the reminder of what she-

Solas sobered. “Ir abelas, emma’falon. That was in poor taste.”

Emma shook her head. “No, no, it's fine I just…” she shrugged and tried to smile. “Just still a little raw I guess.”

Solas nodded, “I understand.”

They slowed their horses even more to allow the others to catch up, while they waited Emma's curiosity got the better of her. “When you signed earlier… what was that blush about?”

Solas immediately shifted uncomfortably. “I… ir abelas, emma’falon.” He looked down and fidgeted with his reins. “I did not realize it meant more than… It had two meanings and I did not expect it.” 

Emma blinked at him, her mind coming up blank. “What?”

Solas cleared his throat uncomfortably. “When I signed ‘as you wish’ I saw… a young man telling a woman he… loved her.”

Emma immediately wanted to facepalm. He got her memories of the Princess Bride? Really!? “No that's not… I mean that was a story. It doesn't actually mean-”

“What's this about a story?” Emma made a little yelp as she realized Varric had somehow managed to catch up with them without her noticing. “Have you been regaling Chuckles with stories and didn't think to invite me?” He put a hand over his chest and feigned a pained expression. “Now I'm hurt, Princess.”

“It was nothing.” She mumbled, trying to change the subject. 

“Oh, no you don't,” Varric wagged his finger at her. “Come on what kind of story is this?”

“I would also like to hear this story.” Solas said and Emma could have sworn he was enjoying her sudden discomfort. 

Emma sighed in defeat. Well, if she was going to get roped into it she was going to try and do it justice. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to remember how it went. “It has Fencing. Fighting. Torture. Poison. True Love. Hate. Revenge. Giants. Hunters. Bad men. Good men. Beautifulest Ladies. Snakes. Spiders... Pain. Death. Brave men. Cowardly men. Strongest men. Chases. Escapes. Lies. Truths. Passion. Miracles.”

So that's how she introduced Thedas to the Princess Bride. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for the rest of the group to guide their horses closer so they could also listen in and she felt like her face was going to burn off at all the attention. At least Cassandra wasn’t glaring at her though...

She spent two hours telling it and didn't even get halfway through before it was time to stop for the night. Unfortunately, she didn’t get away before Varric weaseled a promise to continue the story out of her. 

When the caravan did stop, Damon disappeared for an hour. She settled by a fire and worked on feeding Gaelathe while Solas watched quietly. She looked up and smiled hopefully when Damon approached.

He gave her a small smile, but just leaned over and pulled Gaelathe’s hat off, replacing it with a black knitted hat with a stuffed pair of tiny, curled horns sewn onto it. A baby qunari hat!

"Oh my word, that's so cute!" She grinned.

"You are going to raise him as Tal Vashoth, then?" Solas asked with a frown, but quickly tried to soothe it away with a joke. “You couldn't find a easier way of having a child qunari?”

"No, this ain’t nothing like that. I ain't trying to change him from being elvhen. This is just a cute welcome to the family thing." Damon huffed a laugh. "He'll be learning about his heritage. I'll be working harder on learning Elvhen for him and he's got you to help Emma teach him his language and about his culture, don't he?" He clapped a hand to Solas shoulder and walked off, leaving the mage staring after him with wide eyes.

Emma covered her mouth with her hands and felt her face heat up in a blush. Why would Damon say that?!


	28. Chapter 28

Damon bolted upright at the sound of a raised voice. He grabbed blindly for his ax, fingers closing around its handle just as he recognized the voice’s owner. Cass?

“I will not risk it! You have done enough damage as it is.” Cassandra sounded pissed.

Damon scrubbed his hand over his face and set the ax aside. He inhaled deeply to try and slow his racing heart down and reached for the tent flap.

“I-” Emma sounded close to tears. “It’s just-”

“No!”

Damon stumbled out of the tent and frowned at Emma and Cassandra. Emma was clutching a bowl of porridge to her chest, her eyes teary. Her expression crumpled when she saw him. Cassandra had her arms folded over her chest and was glaring at Emma.

“Wha’s goin’ on?” His back popped as he stood up straight and glanced between them.

“She was just leaving.” Cassandra narrowed her eyes at Emma.

Emma hesitated, opening her mouth like she was going to say something, but instead she gave a defeated sigh and held the bowl out to Cass, who took it with narrowed eyes. “Here. You can… you can test it or whatever.” She forced a smile and turned to go without meeting his eyes.

Damon frowned and watched her leave. “What was that about?” 

Cassandra pressed her lips into a grim line. “Nothing.” 

He was too tired for this. “Cass, what happened?” 

“She… brought you this. But she was riding in the front, talking with the apostate yesterday and I do not trust it.” She scowled and indicated the bowl in her hand.

“Cass. They were holding hands, not plotting.” He combed his fingers through his hair, wincing when they snagged a bad tangle. He hadn’t brushed it for real in days or managed to braid it up so it wouldn’t snarl.

Cassandra made a skeptical noise in the back of her throat. “Still-”

“Look. I get you’re mad at her. That’s okay, I know she… she hurt you too. But please don’t keep her away from me.” He said quietly. “She’s still my sister and this whole mess is because neither of us can bear the thought of losing each other. It’s okay to be mad because she lied to you, but you can’t… you can’t be mad at her for me. That’s my job, okay?” 

Cassandra folded her arms and frowned down at the snow. “She lied to us… she hurt you… all of us. I… I thought better of her.”

“Yeah.” Her and he both. “I get that and I’m sorry… She’s got a lot of shit in her head and a bad habit of thinking she’s the only one who can handle it.” He huffed. He was one to talk. “I appreciate you stickin’ up for me, but she’s still my big sis. I’m… hurt, yes. But we still gotta work together and maybe one day I can forgive her.” 

Cassandra nodded but her face remained hard as she gestured to the large tent where they served meals. “They are about to run out of porridge if you are hungry.”

He glanced at the bowl in her hands and back at her face. It felt… kinda nice that she was trying to watch his back. Though hopefully she’d be a bit… nicer about it from now on. “Thanks, Cass. I’ll go get some.” He started to walk towards the meal tent, but stopped and turned back to her. “Hey, would you be willing to help me braid up my hair later? It’s killing me. Normally Em...” He trailed off, not willing to finish the sentence. 

Cassandra nodded in understanding and gave him a forced smile. “Of course.”

“Thank you. I’ll… I’ll find you after I get somethin’ to eat.” He smiled, though it felt more like a grimace and walked off. 

He drifted towards the mess tent and saw several of the inner circle members gathered around a fire pit. Varric and Blackwall looked to be deep in a conversation that had the Warden chuckling. Sera was trying to balance an arrow on her nose for gods knew what reason while Bull and Dorian laughed at her antics. Emma…. Emma sat a ways off to the side, her back against a tent pole, with Gealathe in her lap and an empty bottle sitting next to her.

His first impulse was to go and mess up her hair, make her punch him and wipe that forlorn look off her face. He took an automatic step towards her but stopped when he saw Solas moving towards her like a moth to a lamp. He huffed and changed directions. She’d be fine without him a little longer. He went in and managed to get one of the last few servings of breakfast left. When he headed back to the fire pit he could see Solas had sat down next to her, their thighs almost touching.

The elf leaned closer and said something that made her laugh quietly. It was relieving that she wasn’t completely alone right now. Made him feel less guilty about taking the time to get himself straight. He sat beside Varric and started shoveling the bland porridge into his mouth. 

“So…” Varric nudged his elbow to get his attention and nodded his head in Emma's direction. “How long you think it'll take before those two stop dancing around each other?”

Damon snorted. Emma was a ‘take it slow if I even manage to notice you like me’ kinda girl and Solas seemed like emotions had to hit him upside the head with a baseball bat to be recognized. “I’d say… four months. At least.”

“Nah, he’ll break before that. A month at most.” Bull snickered.

Dorian glanced between them and at the pair in question. “Surely no more than a week? They’re practically shadows of each other already.”

“Ptffff,” Sera plopped down on the ground next to the Tevinter mage. “Droopy Ears is all about lost ‘elvhen glory’. Surprised he's even interested, yeah?”

“S’why I say at least four months.” Damon pointed at her with his spoon. “He’s gotta get over himself firs’.”

Blackwall ran a hand over his beard thoughtfully as he watched the two in question. “She seems the shy sort… I would guess four months, maybe five.”

Varric whipped out a small leather bound notepad from his jacket and began taking notes. “Ok, Tiny says a month. How much you putting down?”

“Three sovereigns.” Bull laughed. “Go big or go home.”

Damon couldn’t help but smile as the group started placing their bets. He joined in, mostly because it was absolutely hilarious for Emma and Solas to have a betting pool on their first kiss. The bets were barely placed before Varric snapped the notebook shut and tucked it back into his jacket, looking innocently at the dying fire. Damon looked in the direction of the dwarf’s line of sight and smiled when he saw Cassandra approaching. 

“Hey.”

She frowned suspiciously at Varric but addressed him. “Commander Cullen wishes to start the process of moving in half an hour.”

“Oh, shoot.” He needed to meet up with the guy and help sort shit out then. “Hey, d’ya mind getting my hair real quick? I’ll need to go help him.”

Cassandra’s ears turned red and she glanced at the rest of the group before sighing and muttering something under her breath as she moved to stand behind him. “Very well. I cannot do much with it here.”

“S’all right, if you’d just braid it out of my way that’d be great.” He hadn’t quite learned to braid around his horns yet or he’d do it himself. 

Cassandra huffed but used her fingers to untangle the worst of the knots in his hair. He hadn't been able to do much with it since… He felt an itch in his skin and looked over to find Emma staring at him with a lost expression. She’d done his hair every morning since they were kids, since the first set of pink sparkly hair ties she had gotten for her fifth birthday. He dropped his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see her as Cassandra efficiently braided his hair into a simple plait and tied it off.

“There.” Cassandra patted his shoulder to indicate she was finished. “It is not stylish, but it is serviceable.”

He stood and gave her a grateful smile. “It's perfect, Thanks.” He tossed the rest a two fingered salute. “Off to see Cullen. Catch’a later!”

Bull shook his head and waved him away, shoulders shaking in a silent laugh.

Damon found Cullen standing near the horses with Leliana and Josephine. The trio were talking but stopped to greet him as he approached. He bowed his head slightly in response. 

“Ahh… Damon.” Cullen offered an outstretched hand, “I believe we can cover more ground today if the sun lasts.”

He gripped his offered hand politely and glanced at the sky. “Should be clear nuff. Don’ smell like snow either. I was lookin’ at the maps yesterday and if we make good time today we should be able t’ see it by breaking time.”

Josephina blinked at the snow comment but seemed willing to ignore it. “That is not the only reason that our Commander believes we will make good time today. Apparently he found some carts full of miscellaneous objects such as heavy furniture and… ‘useless objects’. He had them removed and the carts are now being used to help transport people and some of the more practical supplies.”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. “Josephine, we have absolutely no need of Orlesian couches and vanities… our primary concern should be to get these people out of the elements as soon as possible.”

Damon nodded in agreement. “He’s-”

“Commander Rutherford!”

Damon gritted his teeth and set his face in a polite smile before turning towards Vivienne’s voice. That tone didn’t sound promising of a fun conversation. And he’d bet that they had just found the owner of the furniture. 

“Yes, Madam Enchanter?” Cullen asked politely but with a note of wariness. 

“Am I to understand that you were responsible for the destruction of my belongings?”

Cullen turned to the enchanter and dipped his head, his tone challenging. “That would be correct. I don't know how they do it in Orlais but here in Fereldon we value our people's health more than useless furniture.”

“Useless? Why-”

Damon spoke over her but tried to keep his voice as even and diplomatic as he could. “Madam, I know the objects may have had great value, but we have hundreds of people under our protection. Right now they are in the snow with no shelter and limited supplies. Surely you can see why we would need to make sacrifices so we can bring them to shelter as quickly as possible?”

Josephine practically beamed at him. “Yes, madam Vivienne. And I can promise you that as soon as the inquisition is able, your items will be replaced in full.” She smiled politely and took the, now somewhat mollified, mage’s arm, leading her away. “Now if you'll just help me compile a list of the damaged items….” her voice faded as they moved away.

Leliana laughed. “She does not get paid enough.”

Damon chuckled and rubbed his eyes. “There ain’t enough money in the world to pay the three o’ you what you’re worth.”

Cullen pinched the bridge of his nose as if to ward off an oncoming headache. “If I never have to deal with that…. woman again it'll be too soon.”

“I feel ya.” He shook his head. “Where we at with getting shit movin’ then? Anythin’ I can do to help?”

 

 

Emma rode next to Josephine today; the ambassador was a breath of fresh air. They spoke of her home in Antiva and her family there for several hours before Varric rode up, demanding the conclusion to Princess Bride.

She didn’t much feel like telling stories today, but yet she couldn’t just leave it unfinished. As soon as she picked it back up from where she had left it, she noticed the group closing in a little tighter around her so they could hear.

The sun was past overhead when she finally reached the end. “Since the invention of the kiss, there have been five kisses rated the most passionate, the most pure. This one left them all behind. The end.”

Emma looked around in surprise when she heard them start clapping. They had liked it that much? She noticed Cassandra riding along the edge of the group, a soft smile on her face, but when she noticed her looking, her face hardened and she rode off without another glance. Emma watched her fall in beside Damon and lean over to see Gaelathe. She stifled a sigh; she wouldn’t ever forgive her…

“That was a masterful story there, Princess.” Varric said, scratching the stubble on his chin. “You could make a handsome profit if you let me write it down for you. Publishers would fight over it.

Emma shook her head and laughed. “Sorry, but it's not my story to sell.”

Varric waved a hand dismissively. “Please, I've heard every folktale and fairytale from here to Tevinter and I've never heard anything like that before.”

“It’s from where I came from.” she said quietly. Solas looked at her with an unreadable expression. “It’s… a big deal there. Important. You all are the first outside of… to have heard it.”

Varric held up his hands in surrender. “Alright, princess, I get it, but whoever came up with it should sell it… believe me, I know good stories when I hear them.”

Emma smiled at that. “Thanks Varric.” 

Varric nodded and urged his horse forward to ride next to Blackwall and Sera. Solas maneuvered Elgar’alas’nir into the spot Varric had vacated and smiled at her. “That story must have been a favorite of yours if that memory was tied to that phrase.”

Emma blushed. “I may or may not have forced Damon to sit through it with me enough times to have it memorized.”

Solas chuckled. “A good story deserves to be remembered.” Solas tilted his head. “I wonder if you might have more to share?”

She shook her head vigorously. “Oh no, I'm not going through my collection of love stories and making a complete fool of myself, thank you!” She wagged a finger at him, drawing a smile. “This was a one time thing.”

They rode together for an hour more before Solas excused himself to ride up front with Damon. She allowed Caramel to slow her pace and let the majority of the group pass her by. She looked up when she saw Dorian and a thought struck her. She nudged Caramel and fell in beside him. She felt a little nervous, she didn’t know how he felt about her, but… She had questions. Or rather, a question.

“Hey, Dorian?” 

“Yes, Lady Herald?” He smiled politely at her. “What can I do for you?”

Very formal. Not a good sign. “Would you… can I ask you something?”

He hummed noncommittally. “I could hardly stop you from asking.” He seemed to notice her disappointment and waved his hand for her to continue. “Ask away.”

“You-” She frowned, uncertain how to phrase it. “What does magic feel like to you?”

“What does magic feel like? That depends on what it is. Fire burns, ice freezes, and so on.” He gave her a puzzled smile. 

“No, I mean… what does magic itself feel like. Your magic.” She hoped that wasn’t considered too personal.

“What an odd question.” He seemed to think over it for a minute. “It feels… like a flicker inside my chest. Like a candle flame waiting to be used to light a fire. Does this answer suffice?”

She frowned but nodded. That didn’t sound anything like what she had felt with Solas or at the breach at all. “Thank you.”

“May I ask what brought that subject to mind?” He glanced at her oddly. 

She chewed on her lip and tried to think how to answer that. “Back home… I used to be a... A researcher of sorts.”

Dorian frowned uneasily. “And now you are wishing to research mages?”

“No! Nonono, nothing like that.” She grimaced. “Look, I don’t have enough information or any data of any real kind yet, but I want to research Blight sickness. I have a lead that might... “ She glanced at him and found him staring at her in blatant shock. “I want to look into finding a cure.” 

“What on- oh.” He sat back in his saddle, looking stunned. “Is that why you had us gather those bottles of darkspawn blood? For your research into a possible cure?”

She nodded and he raised his eyebrows. 

“What kind of research did you do back then?” 

“Lost histories, cultures, languages, sciences, diseases…” She shrugged. “Lots of things. I was studying a disease that may have wiped out an ancient tribe when… before all this.”

“And you think you have a lead, you said?” He sounded like he was trying not to sound eager.

“Possibly. It’s… it’s just a hypothesis right now. I have to do a lot of research. And testing if I ever get that far.”

He regarded her for a few long moments. “If I may ask, what prompted this mad adventure?”

She sighed. “Felix.”

“Oh. I see.” Dorian hesitated and straightened in his saddle. “If I may, I would like to offer my services in aiding your research. I seem to have a personal stake in its success.”

She smiled brightly at him. “That would be great! Thank you! Hopefully I can set up a lab at Skyhold soon and get right into it.”

“Right.” He laughed in a stunned sort of way. 

Damon rode up and glanced between the two of them curiously. “Emma, come ride up front with us for a minute.” He turned to Dorian. “I’m sorry, but I have to interrupt your conversation for a bit.”

“It is no problem. I have plenty to keep myself occupied while you three are off being heroic.” Dorian waved them off. 

Damon laughed and turned MoFo back towards the front and Emma urged Caramel to follow. She glanced curiously at Solas when they caught up with him. “What’s going on?”

Damon jerked his chin towards the horizon. “Solas says we’ll be able to see it soon.”

Emma smiled. “That’s awesome! I can't wait to see it in person.” 

Solas glanced at her, looking pleased. “I hope it doesn't fall short of your expectations, emma’falon. I haven't seen it for a long time.”

They rode for several minutes before Emma saw Solas lean forward in his saddle. She eagerly watched the path ahead as they rode up the steep incline. Finally, they reached the top of the hill and could see down into and across the valley ahead. Her breath caught in her chest as she saw Skyhold sprawling solidly atop a mountain. It was so much bigger than she had expected. So much… more. It was taller and more imposing, towers seeming to brush the bottom of the clouds. 

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered in awe. 

“Damn, that’s impressive.” Damon’s mouth was hanging open a little as he stared at Skyhold. “You- yeah. No. I got no words. It’s just fucking impressive.” 

Solas chuckled. “You should have seen it when it was first built. Many have called it home and it has been rebuilt several times.” He looked down at the fortress fondly. “But the original structure remains the same.” He pointed to the steep cliffs that surrounded it. “It is defensible, any approaching armies would be spotted miles away and there is only one entry point. The valleys behind it are protected by Skyhold and natural barriers, allowing for farms and pastures. It can be completely self sufficient.” He elaborated and Emma could hear the pride in his voice as he showed off the genius of the fortress.

“That’s pretty damn impressive, Solas.” Damon grinned, but Emma could see him thinking about something. He had that look that meant he was connecting dots in his mind. 

Solas straightened in his saddle and smiled widely. “It also was built over natural hot springs. A waterfall supplies it with fresh water, that should still run through pipes throughout the hold if the mechanisms have held up over time.”

Emma whirled on him. “Running water?!”

Solas nodded, grinning and leaning in as if sharing a secret. “And heated baths.”

Damon groaned happily. “Solas, if I wasn’t sure I’d be dead before I got there, I’d kiss you for this.”

Before Solas could react, Cullen, Cassandra, and Varric rode up next to them. 

“Maker! That's-”Cullen looked over at Damon, slack-jawed. “Is that it? Skyhold?”

Damon nodded, his face falling serious. “It is, Commander. Looks like it’s downhill for a ways before we reach the access point. If we break camp down there-” He pointed at a natural clearing a few miles off. “We should reach Skyhold by tomorrow evening at the latest.” 

Emma smiled and guided Caramel to the side so Cassandra and Varric could see the massive fortress. She noticed Solas watching her and signed. “Thank you!” Before urging the mare to join the others behind them to tell them the news. She smiled to herself, thinking of running water and hot baths.

A few hours later, they were stopped for the night and were all settled around a campfire together. Emma could tell most of them were still upset with her, but Damon's few overtures of friendship, seeing Skyhold, and her retelling of The Princess Bride seemed to be making them a lot more comfortable around her. Comfortable enough that they were willing to sit near her and not glare at her. Well, besides Cassandra...

"So, you have any stories, Damon?" Varric leaned forward with a grin.

"Nah man, Emma's got all the stories. I'm no good at them." He waved the dwarf off. 

"Hmm. How about a song then? I'm sure you've got something of interest, something new." Varric pressed, a mischievous glint in his eye. 

Damon laughed. "Oh no, who made you mad enough to try an’ get me to sing? You already know the kinds of songs I sing."

"You can’t only know songs about death. Cmon, give us something new." Varric grinned 

"You’d think." Emma muttered.

Damon glanced at her sharply but shrugged. "Emma's the singer."

Cassandra nudged him with her free elbow. Gealathe was sleeping soundly in her other arm, tired after a long day of eating, crying, and sleeping."I have yet to hear you sing. I find myself intrigued."

He sighed and frowned.

"Cmon, entertain us!" Bull said, leaning back against a log, legs sprawled out.

"I will! I'm just tryin’ to think of sumthin that don't have false chords or fry screaming. Don' wanna make the baby cry."

"Thank god." Emma muttered, burying her face in her hand. This wasn't gonna go well. Damon was a die hard metal head and she didn’t think Thedas was quite ready for that.

"What's that?" Sera asked.

"Fry screaming is a kinda singing that's also screaming and false chords are like a roaring kind of singing." Damon grinned.

Bull raised his eyebrows in interest. "I wanna hear that!"

"Maybe when Gaelathe ain't around. Both are really loud." Damon laughed. "Alright, I think I got somethin’. It's way too high for me; Emma coulda sung it better. But here goes." He hummed and started softly. 

"When the days are cold and the cards all fold and the saints we see are all made of gold"

Oh no. “Damon I don't think-” Solas placed a hand on her arm to quiet her and listened with interest.

"When your dreams all fail and the ones we hail are the worst of all and the blood’s run stale. I want to hide the truth, I want to shelter you but with the beast inside there’s nowhere we can hide."

"No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed.This is my kingdom come. This is my kingdom come."

Damon winced when his voice cracked on the high note but kept going. "When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide. Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside, it’s where my demons hide. It’s where my demons hide."

Cassandra inhaled sharply and looked at Damon in concern while Bull shifted uneasily.

"When the curtain’s call is the last of all, when the lights fade out, all the sinners crawl. So they dug your grave and the masquerade will come calling out at the mess you made."

Solas’ hand on her arm tightened slightly, but Emma didn’t look at his expression, not wanting to call attention to his reaction.

"Don’t want to let you down but I am hell bound, though this is all for you don’t want to hide the truth. No matter what we breed, we still are made of greed. This is my kingdom come. This is my kingdom come."

Emma risked another glance at Solas, whose hand was still on her arm. He looked tense but not horrified like Cass, Cullen, Vivienne, and Sera did. Dorian and Bull just looked contemplative. 

"When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide. Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside. It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide."

Damon shook his head at the group’s reaction but kept singing. "They say it's what you make, I say it's up to fate. It's woven in my soul, I need to let you go. Your eyes, they shine so bright, I want to save their light. I can't escape this now, unless you show me how."

His voice cracked again, but this time it sounded like it was from emotion rather than the song being too high for his voice.

"When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide. Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside. It’s where my demons hide, it’s where my demons hide."

He coughed and bowed mockingly. “There you have it, a song not about death.”

"Damn, Blot, you really know how to one up yourself." Varric shook his head. “Next time I'm asking Princess to sing.”

Sera squinted at Damon, then threw up her hands and stood. “That's it! I'm done! Creepy music-song shite gonna give me creepy dreams!” She moved off, muttering something under her breath that Emma didn't catch.

Damon ignored her and pointed at Varric with a toothy grin. "You knew what you were asking for."

"Why-" Cassandra shuddered. "Why would you sing about being possessed?"

Vivienne scowled and nodded gravely. “Possession is not something to make light of or sing about, Dear.” 

Damon sighed and shrugged. "’S not about bein’ possessed. Everyone's got demons, most jus’ metaphor. Everyone's got somethin’ they want to hide, something they fight in themselves." He smoothed his thumb over his wrist. “Song’s about wantin’ to love someone but bein’ scared to because you got secrets they don’ know. ‘Sbout pushing people away cuz you think you’ll hurt them and feeling trapped by your own mess.”

Cullen shifted his feet before excusing himself quietly and heading for his tent. Emma watched him go, hoping he was ok but not daring to ask.

Everyone just sat silently for a few awkward moments before Varric reached over and poked Emma's leg. “What about lightening the mood for us, Princess?” He gave her a crooked grin. “After that love story you told, surely you have a good song or two? Something not about death or demons?”

Emma looked at him with a horrified expression. “Oh no! Nonono!”

Damon started cackling. “You’ll have to blackmail ‘er, Varric. She don’ sing in public for no reason.” He leaned forward. “I do happen to know a love song though.”

“Truly?” Cassandra glanced at him dubiously.

Before he could reply, Bull leaned over and put his hand over Damon’s mouth. “It won’t be one you’d enjoy, Seeker.” 

Bull startled and pulled his hand back, looking at Damon with a confused expression. “Did you just lick me?”

Emma snorted. She had been on the receiving end of that trick many times growing up and had soon learned that a quick kidney jab or shin kick was way more effective and less disgusting.


	29. Chapter 29

They had sent scouts ahead of the caravan to make sure the fortress was clear. The scouts had reported back that it was safe, if a bit run down and word had spread quickly through the caravan. Moral was high, songs breaking out among the civilians as they had travelled the last leg of the journey. Damon's estimation of time had been correct and they set camp in the massive courtyard of Skyhold as night fell. 

The next morning he was up bright and early to start helping Cullen get things sorted and figure out the layout of the fortress. It was even more impressive inside the walls that loomed protectively high over their heads, towers reaching even higher. 

He was looking over a crude map of the main castle the scouts had drawn up when Solas walked by. 

He glanced up from his papers and since he had his pen in his mouth he signed, "Good morning."

The mage replied in kind, "Good morning, Damon." He stopped when he signed the words and his eyes flicked over him curiously. 

Damon spat the pen out. "What?"

Solas shook his head. "It is one thing to hear that you used to be human, and another to see it."

Ah. He'd just gotten Emma's memories of him then. He grinned. "Used to be downright pretty, right?"

Solas hesitated. "Pretty is not the word that came to mind."

"Oh? What is?"

"You were... much altered."

Damon laughed. He’d had a lot of ink and piercings before, and a shit ton of eyeliner when he was off the clock. "Shoulda heard Emma scolding me when I got my tongue pierced."

Solas winced. He opened his mouth and then shut it again. Obviously, he had a question but didn't know if he could ask.

"Dude, jus’ ask. I won't be bothered by questions, I'll jus’ let you know if I'll answer or not."

Solas huffed a laugh. "I was wondering why you would wish to alter yourself so extensively."

"It's..." Damon shrugged. "I was always too big, too loud, too pretty, too flamboyant, too bi, jus too much for people. I never fit. Some shit happened, made me unsure of myself. Every mod made me feel like I had gotten a piece of myself back under control. Plus, I love how it looked."

"And..." he hesitated again but kept going. "Do you feel as if you have lost yourself now that you are so dramatically... different?"

"Nah, I'm still me. Same shit in my head, jus’ a bit taller and less likely to have to deck a bitch cuz they think I'm too sissy to fight."

"Sissy?" Solas frowned in confusion, his hands hovering like he wanted to sign it but couldn't find the word. 

"Uh, girly, weak. I’ve never let anybody cut my hair so Emma used to do my hair up in all her fancy stuff and I'd run around in skirts cuz I liked the swish." He shrugged. "Kids didn't like that, would try and pick on me cuz they thought there was something wrong with being girly. Em an’ I went home with a lot of black eyes till they learned to leave us alone."

"You protected each other."

It didn't sound like a question but Damon answered it anyway. "Yeah, since we were four an’ five an’ I pushed Tommy out a tree cuz he made her cry. He broke his arm and Emma stole a knife from my ma's kitchen and we made the blood sisters pact. Ma sure was angry we used her good paring knife for that." He smiled wistfully at the memory. He missed her. 

Solas looked around the room as if to make sure it was empty. "Blood sisters pact?"

"Yeah, it's when two people cut their palm and hold hands so the blood mixes and they swear that they're family forever." He shrugged. "Emma still has her scar on her left hand. I lost mine, but we’re still blood sisters."

Solas regarded him curiously. "So it is an attempt at a blood ritual?"

"Sorta. It kinda is. Don’ know if it'd actually make a magical bond or sumthin here, but it's considered sacred back home. People don't do it often anymore cuz of diseases and stuff."

The mage tilted his head and folded his hands behind his back. “Your people only feared the risk of contagion? Not the blood magic?”

“I mean, magic ain’t exactly a thing back home. But yeah.” Damon squinted at him, the question nagging at him. “Why do you ask?”

“I would refrain from mentioning your pact in front of anyone else, including your friends and allies. The Chantry’s views on blood magic are severe. Being accused of using blood magic could prove… fatal.” 

Damon blinked. “Woah. Good to know.” He frowned as he considered that.. “I… I might need someone to give me the dumbed down version of what to never ever mention ever.”

Solas surprised him by laughing. “Perhaps I could write a handbook for you entitled ‘How to not be Labeled a Malificar or Heretic: the Simple Version’.” 

“Shit, that’d be awesome!” He knew Solas had meant it as a joke, but he couldn’t pass the chance up. Especially if he could get Emma killed by mentioning something when he didn’t know better. “Would you really?”

Solas shook his head, still smiling. “Perhaps it would not be a bad idea at that.”

“Thanks man. I’m a bit…” Damon wobbled his head uncertainly. “Lost.”

 

 

 

Emma was really glad she wasn’t Damon today. She didn’t think she’d seen him stop for a moment since she’d woken up. He was either talking to Cullen or ordering people about or answering questions or looking over papers. She wanted to bring him something to eat, she doubted he’d thought of breakfast in the chaos, but Cassandra was more often than not right behind him and she didn’t want a repeat of the other morning. 

She had had enough fretting about it though, when she saw Damon lean a hand against a wall like he needed a second to balance. She looked around for Cassandra and when she spotted her talking to Leliana near the gates of the courtyard, she held Gaelathe against her shoulder and marched straight for her. 

The Seeker turned a hard gaze onto her when she got close. “What is it?”

“Damon. He’s been going non stop since before the sun came up. He needs to eat, but he’ll just keep forgetting until you put something in his hands.” She straightened her shoulders and looked Cassandra in the eye, fully prepared to argue about this.

Cassandra scrutinized her coldly for a long moment before nodding sharply. “I will see to it.”

“Thank you.” She relaxed in relief and turned away to go back to holding up a wall and staying out of the way. 

She watched Damon talk animatedly over some papers with Josephine. She was just getting worried that Cassandra might have forgotten when she appeared by Damon’s side and placed what looked like a sandwich directly into his hand. He gestured with it for a moment before taking an automatic bite and startling. He glanced from it to Cassandra and said something that made her smile. After she walked off he scanned the courtyard until his eyes landed on her. 

He lifted up the sandwich and signed, “Thank you,” before resuming his conversation with Josephine. 

Emma smiled to herself and focused back on Gaelathe, who was starting to squirm and scrunch up his face. Probably about time for another feeding and change. She worried her lip as she considered how to go about finding milk in all this chaos.

“Looks like you and Damon are starting to make up.” 

Emma glanced down at Varric where he had sidled up to her and gave him a wan smile. “Not yet. I think… I think he’s trying though.”

“He’s said as much.” Varric held out the bag Damon had put together to hold Gaelathe’s things. “He asked me to bring this,” He also held out a flask of what she assumed was milk, “and this to you.” 

Gaelathe let out a cry and Emma slid down to sit on the ground so she could change him on her lap. “Thank you.”

By the time she had finished bundling Gaelathe back up into his blanket he was full on wailing. She shushed him gently and reached for the bag to dig out the bottle, but found Varric trying to tie the nib on with an expression of extreme focus. He finished the knot and held the bottle up, turning it to and fro critically. 

“I think I managed it.”

She took it from him and gave it a glance over. “That you did.” She smiled and adjusted Gaelathe comfortably to feed him. Once he had latched on and was eating greedily she glanced over at Varric, who was still standing by her. “Did you need something?”

“No. You just look all sad and lonely over here by yourself. And… I might be avoiding the good Seeker.” He chuckled good naturedly. 

She laughed wryly. “Ah. Well, next to me is the best way to avoid her. But what did you do this time?”

“I am offended! I have done nothing!” He gasped playfully as he moved to sit beside her. 

“I’m sure.” She adjusted Gaelathe’s hat so the horns were even. 

They sat there a while, Varric silently watching her feed Gaelathe. It wasn't until she stopped to burp him that he spoke. “So the guy you saw?” He started out quietly. “You're sure it was Corypheus?”

Emma knew exactly why he was asking. “Yeah… it was.” When Varric didn't say anything she looked over to find him staring hard at the ground. “It isn’t your fault. You know that, right?”

Varric shook his head grimly and stood, dusting off his breeches. “Well, it seems like it’s time for me to be moving on. I’ll catch you later, Princess.” He tried to sound jovial but she could tell from his eyes that he was anything but.

Emma followed his line of view and saw Solas approaching. “See you later, Varric.”

Varric nodded in acknowledgment as he wandered off, probably to contact Hawke, with a wave to Solas, who inclined his head politely in response. 

Solas stopped by her feet. “Good day, Emma’falon.”

“Hey. What’s up?” She asked as she repositioned Gealathe so he could finish the bottle.

He seemed amused by her phrasing. “Damon would like those of us in the inner circle to look through the main castle and pick our preferred rooms before they start assigning them out.” He sat down next to her, leaning his back against the wall. “After he is fed, I could show you where some are?”

Emma bit her lip, uncertain if Josephine had already assigned her room or not. But still, Solas personally showing her around Skyhold? Particularly pieces of Skyhold she'd never seen? Yes, please. “That would be great!” She smiled over at him.

He seemed more relaxed then she'd ever seen him before. His back resting against the wall, legs straight out in front, ankles crossed and his hands resting behind his head as he smiled back. His hair had grown, maybe a half inch of dark auburn. It was getting close to his one month mark, and she hoped he wouldn't shave it off again. 

“What seems to have caught your fascination?” Solas’ voice made her start and her face burned as she realized she had been staring at him. 

“Nothing.” She said a tad to quickly. “I was just… you look… better… with hair, I mean.” When he laughed she groaned and slapped a hand over her face. “You know what… just ignore me.”

“I could never.” He chuckled. Emma tried to ignore the flutter in her chest at his teasing tone and focused on Gaelathe, who was just about finished with the bottle.

As soon as he finished and she set the bottle down, Solas surprised her by taking her marked hand in his, casting healing through it before she could object. It hadn't even been itching.

She startled when his thumb ran along the old scar across her palm that ran alongside the mark and she had to fight shivers at the feather light sensation. “The mark pains you less?” Solas’ voice was low as he gazed down at her hand.

She shrugged, not really sure why he seemed to be so touchy right now or what he wanted her to say. “I guess I'm just getting used to it?”

He made a noise in the back of his throat and his thumb stroked the pact scar again. “Once this is over I will try and find a safe way to remove it.”

Images of Solas taking the Inquisitor’s arm to save their life flashed through her mind and she swallowed hard at the reminder of what was likely to be her future. Crap, she was actually going to lose her arm. The orb was corrupted...

“You fear something.” She looked up to find Solas frowning at her in concern. “Something about the removal of the mark?” Emma bit her lip and nodded slowly. Solas’ gaze fell to her mouth for a brief second before he stood quickly and dusted off his pants. “Perhaps now that his belly is full you would like to see a few rooms?”

Emma knew he probably guessed that she couldn't talk to him about anything here out in the open, and nodded, offering up a tight smile. “Yeah… that sounds good.” She gathered Gaelathe’s things together with one hand and put everything neatly in the bag. She looked up at where Solas stood before gesturing to the babe. “Hey, could you hold him for a sec?”

Solas looked stunned for a second before nodding and taking Gaelathe carefully from her arms, holding him exactly as he had seen her hold him, albeit much more stiffly. She stood and slung the bag over her shoulder and turned to take him back, but stopped at the sight of Solas looking down at the little guy an expression of mixed wonder and confusion.

She leaned in to peak at Gaelathe, whose eyes were wide open and little dimples showed up as a grin split his chubby face. “He something isn't he?” She whispered and smiled up at Solas.

Solas pulled his eyes away from the baby to glance at her. “He is….” He paused and looked back down at Gaelathe. “I did not expect… I have never held a child so young.” His ears tinted pink at the admission.

Emma took in how he held Gaelathe, head supported in the crook of his arm. It was nearly perfect but she could tell he was uncertain. “You're doing great for your first time.” She assured him, patting his arm gently so not to startle him. “Let's go find Josie. She said she’d watch him for me a bit today.”

She expected Solas to try and hand Gaelathe back to her but he surprised her by simply nodding and walking in the direction of the ambassador’s tent. Emma had to stifle a giggle, it seemed like their whole inner circle was starting to take a liking to Gaelathe. Between Cassandra and now Solas, she and Damon might have to fight to hold him soon. Josie was fortunately at her tent and Solas handed Gaelathe off to her with fairly well concealed reluctance. Emma gave the ambassador the bag and the suggestion that Gaelathe might need a nap soon, and grabbed Solas’ wrist, quickly tugging him along behind her out of the tent. They had barely made it out the door when Gaelathe started fussing. Just in time. 

She grinned at Solas. “Where to then?”

Solas chuckled and turned his hand to catch hers. “Not far, come.” He steered her towards the main entrance and up the stairs. She almost squealed when he led her through the door to the Rotunda. His desk was absent, along with the couch and scaffolding he would use to paint, but it was the Rotunda. The old paint on the walls was flaking so badly that you couldn't tell what it was before, but it was THE ROTUNDA!

She must have squeezed his hand or something in her fangirl excitement because he looked at her curiously. “What is it?”

She blushed. “It’s… it’s the rotunda.”

“You know it?”

She nodded awkwardly. She had spent a lot of game hours in here. “Yes. It’s… It’s where-” She hesitated, unsure if it was okay to remind him of the story. “It was where I could find you.”

Solas’ eyes darted around the room, “Interesting. This room?” At her nod he laughed and whispered. “Once upon a time it was a library, the walls lined with every book and scroll I could get my hands on.”

“Isn’t that one level up?” She craned her head back to look up to the next story. 

Solas sighed and pulled her along, “As I said, changes have been made from its original design.”

He pulled her through a side door that hadn't been there in the game and down several flights of stairs to what looked like a long hallway with a heavy door on each side and one at the very end. He bypassed the two doors and led her straight to the last one, opened the door and practically shoved her inside.

At first glance it didn’t look like much beyond big. The floors and walls were bare stone and there were no windows, just a door in one wall, but the second glance made it more attractive. There were candles lit in sconces on the walls so they could see. It was clean, none of the musty smell that some of the other areas she’d ventured into had, and there was a fireplace so it wouldn’t get frigid in here. There was a lot of space. She could already see fitting a personal lab space in one half of it with no problem. She went to the smaller door and peeked inside, grinning when she realized it was a private bathroom. A large stone bath was cut into the floor with a drain in the center and the pipes that must fill it sticking out from the wall.

“Oh, Solas, this is amazing!” She smiled at Solas and realized that she was still holding his hand. She was surprised he hadn’t asked her to let him go. 

He grinned, obviously pleased with himself, “Shall I inform the ambassador that you've chosen a room?”

Emma bit her lip and nodded. “If she doesn't mind.” She suddenly dreaded the idea of a dignitary or a noble getting this room.

He laughed. “I'm sure she could be persuaded.” He led her back into the bedroom and waved his hand, the fireplace lighting with a self sustained and smokeless flame. “Perhaps now would be a good time to speak about what troubled you about the removal of the mark? With the orb it may be removed safely.” It seemed like he was trying to reassure her.

Emma winced. Not what she really wanted to talk about right now. Or ever. But… “It’s… about the orb.” At his interested glance she continued. “Corypheus used it, tried to take the mark from me. I- I could feel it, like a song like your magic has, but… wrong.” She shivered, fingers unconsciously tightening around his. “Corrupted.”

Solas sucked in a sharp breath and turned to her, releasing her hand and gently grabbing her shoulders. “Are you certain?” His voice sounded desperate as he searched her eyes. 

Emma nodded. “It didn't feel right…. and it glowed red…. like the red lyrium.” She rubbed the mark at the memory of the pain and wrongness.

Solas’ head fell and his hands tightened on her shoulders. He whispered something so low that even though they were right in front of each other she couldn’t hear what he had said. He inhaled and raised his head to look at her. “I… I will need to… It will take time, but I will search for a solution that does not require my orb.” 

He shuddered and moved his hands from her shoulders to pick her marked hand back up. He sent magic into it, but this time it felt searching instead of healing. After a long moment he frowned. “Now that I know to look, it does feel altered. Not corrupted, but changed.” He glanced up at her, his hands still cradling hers. “You said he tried to remove it?”

“Yeah. He tried, but said it was permanent, that I made it like that by using it. After…” She frowned. “Afterwards I was able to use a rift to get rid of demons.”

He blinked. “How?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged and spoke quietly. “I just… I could feel their connection to it and… stopped it? I don’t know how it worked, I was just trying to get Gaelathe out of there.”

He ran a hand over his hair but kept her fingers in his other hand. “I would need to see you perform that feat in person in order to tell you for sure what transpired.  
She shuddered but nodded. “Okay. I can try to do it again for you if it will help.”

“It might.” He closed his eyes and shook his head. “I will think on the problem. For now, let us inform the ambassador of your choice in rooms.” He squeezed her fingers slightly and headed for the door, leading her into the hallway. 

A thought occurred to her and she released his hand and stopped before they passed the other two doors. Solas halted and looked at her quizzically. 

“Who would get these rooms?”

He raised his eyebrows and glanced at the doors before shrugging. “I believe Dorian has chosen the one on the right.” He walked back to her and opened the other door. “I had intended on taking this one, but…” He paused, looking unsure.

Emma looked in to find the room nearly identical to her own, if a bit smaller and not near as clean. She glanced up at him. “Would you rather the bigger one? I'd be just as comfortable here…. I mean it's your-” she bit her lip before finishing the sentence. She'd have to watch herself.

Solas surprised her by reaching up and using his thumb to pull her lip free of her teeth. “You shouldn't do that.” His voice was low as he gazed down at her. He seemed to realize where his hand was and pulled away quickly, stepping back and leaving her to stare after him in shock. “This room is more than suitable.” He gave her a small smile. “It pleases me that you liked the room I showed you.”

She didn't know what to say… Solas just… but he…? She could only nod dumbly, her mind a jumble of questions and emotions she couldn’t identify.

Solas shook his head and took her by the elbow. “Come, let us go inform the ambassador.”

She allowed him to lead her back up the stairs, but her mind was drawn to the hand on her arm, its heat sinking through her sleeve. Her stomach was doing flips no matter how hard she tried to calm it and it wasn’t like he had kissed her for goodness sake! There was absolutely no reason she should be feeling like this. He saw her as a friend, just a friend. Someone he didn't need to pretend with.

She mentally shook herself. She was his friend and it was her own responsibility to not make more of it than it was. She had dealt with crushes before, she could deal with it again. 

She was slightly out of breath by the time they reached the door back to the rotunda. She was going to have some amazing legs if she had to go up those every morning. Solas opened the door and immediately dropped her elbow. She frowned and looked over his shoulder to see Josie, Leliana, and Cullen all looking like they had been interrupted from an important conversation. Josie was rocking a sleeping Gaelathe.

“Lady Herald.” Leliana inclined her head politely. “Solas.”

“Did we interrupt? Sorry.” She started to inch towards the exit but Cullen shook his head. 

“No, actually we needed to speak with you, if you have a moment.”

Solas stepped away from her. “I will take my leave then.” He bowed his head politely and left Emma alone with the Council.

She forced a nervous smile. “How can I help you?” Did her voice sound a little panicked? She thought it sounded a little panicked. 

“We were hoping to get your Se- your opinion on a certain matter.” The word that Cullen had changed sounded suspiciously like it would have been Seeing. 

Leliana motioned for her to come closer and when she did she smiled at her. Actually smiled. “You know that now that the Inquisition has a base again and with the threat that this ‘Corypheus’ possesses we have need of a leader… an Inquisitor.”

She felt oddly shocked that this was coming up. None of them should trust her. She wasn’t leader material at all. 

Leliana continued. “Your brother, Damon, has proved time and time again that not only does he care for our cause and our people, but that he has the ability and talent to be a great leader. We are most confident in his ability, but we were hoping to get some of your… insight into the decision.” 

Emma felt a wave of confused relief. If she was honest with herself she absolutely did not want to have to try and lead. And if she thought about it, it made sense. Damon had the new body and skills while she had the mark, they had been split. Herald and Inquisitor. That… that changed a lot… Oh no, that changed so much. Her expression must have been as unclear as her emotions because Cullen frowned.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No, nonononono, I just. Something just made sense to me, two halves, a split down the middle…” She gestured vaguely. “I just... “ She winced, realizing she probably wasn’t making sense. “Something just became clear to me.”

“Ah. A vision can be clearer in retrospect.” Leliana looked down away for a second, no doubt thinking of her own vision.

“If you want my opinion on it, I think Damon will be great. He’s… He’s a good guy and he’s good at making things work. It’s… I think it’s a good idea.”

“Then it is settled.” Josephine beamed and passed Gaelathe to Emma. “An unanimous decision. We can speak to Damon tomorrow, and if he accepts make the announcement.”

“He will.” Emma said quietly as she adjusted Gaelathe’s hat. Damon wouldn’t like it, wouldn’t like people looking up to him like that, but he would do what he needed to help.


	30. Chapter 30

Things were coming together nicely. Civilians were slowly being sorted into the protected and abandoned farmlands and villages in the enclosed valley, with plenty of soldiers to keep them protected until they knew the entire area was safe of course, and some were staying up at the main castle to work. Soldiers and scouts were sorted into the old barracks and the council and inner circle had all chosen their rooms and areas of operation. It would still take a little more time to furnish everything and get things running but at least the Inquisition had walls and a roof. He had even gotten a massive room of his own with a view of the valley. Josephine had chosen it for him since he had been too busy dealing with a pair of guys fighting over the ownership of a goat when the subject had come up. She had also forced him to go to bed when she caught him falling asleep over a pile of papers long after the sun had set. 

So yeah, there was still a ton of work to be done but Damon felt pretty good about their progress. He hadn’t seen much of Emma yesterday, been too busy to seek her out like he should have. He knew that she had told Cass to bring him food, had managed to find her long enough to thank her, but then she and Solas had run off together and he hadn’t seen her again the rest of the day. He was probably gonna lose that bet.

He was intending on finding her this morning and at least saying hello, but when he opened the door he came face to top of head with Cassandra. 

“Good morning, Damon.” Her ears were red and her jaw was set. She was embarrassed about something. 

“Morning. What’s up?” 

She sighed. “Josephine insists that you do not look… ‘unkempt’ today and asked me to help you with your hair.” 

“Oh, yeah. I had forgotten about it.” It was still in the braid she had done days ago. He hadn’t messed with it beyond dunking his head in some water to get the worst of the dust out. He glanced at her expression and frowned. “Does fixin’ my hair bother you? I can ask someone else if it does.”

She shook her head. “No, it is just… Never mind that. I know you own a brush. Find it.”

He huffed a laugh and tossed a two fingered salute as he moved back into his room, leaving the door open so she could follow.. “Ma’am, yes ma’am.”

He rummaged around in his travel bag until he found the brush and offered it to her with a slight bow. She scoffed and took it, motioning with it for him to turn around. He tailor sat on the floor so she could reach his head easily. She untied the braid and made a frustrated noise when she immediately ran into a tangle trying to unbraid it. 

“Why do you not simply cut it? It would be much more practical.”

He covered what hair he could reach with his hands and leaned away with a glare. “No!”

She touched his shoulder, gently moving him back into position. “I will not cut it, I was simply asking.”

“Sorry. I’ve just had people try to take a pair of scissors to it behind my back before.” She made an angry noise in her throat and he smiled at her offense on his behalf. “I don’ cut it because I like it long. Always have. When I’m not havin’ to fight and move I like to keep it down.” He shrugged. That was the extent of it, but people never believed it, always thought there was some greater meaning to it. 

He winced as she began working the brush through his hair and pulled his travel bag closer so he could dig through it.

“Hold still, I am trying not to yank.” 

“Sorry. Jus’ gettin’ something for my hands.” He pulled his knitting out and started working a few more stitches in while he had the down time. He needed to get it done this week. 

“Did your mother teach you?” Cassandra asked curiously.

“Emma’s mom. ‘S the only way to get me to sit still to get my hair done as a kid. I kept at it because it’s relaxin’.”

“Ah. I do something similar with sharpening my blades. It is… meditative.” 

“Yeah. ‘xactly.”

They fell into comfortable silence as she worked the brush through his hair and he focused on counting stitches. He’d made a good bit of progress when Cassandra put the brush down and started separating his hair into strands. 

She tsked and started braiding. “I’m afraid I do not know much more than simple plaits.”

“It’ll be fine. Your own hair always looks great so I know mine’ll be fine.” He felt Cassandra’s hands pause for a moment before continuing to braid. Finally she tied the end of the braid off and walked around him to examine her work.

“I think it is presentable enough. I do not have a mirror to show you.”

“S’all right. I’ll believe you.” He grinned at her and tucked his knitting away. “Thank you. I really do appreciate it.”

She smiled. “You are welcome. Now, let us go to breakfast.” 

Damon huffed fondly at her bossiness and gave her a playful bow. “Lead on, m’lady.”

She blushed and laughed as she headed for the door. “You are mocking me!”

“I could never.” He followed her up the stairs and into the main hall. His mind immediately focused on a broken window and started making a note about scaffolding and- Cassandra grabbed his wrist and tugged him out of his thoughts. 

“You can work in a few minutes, eat first.” She said in exasperation. 

He circled his fist over his chest in apology and she furrowed her brow in concentration as she signed, “No problem.”

He grinned at her. She was learning pretty quick for the amount of time they had had to practice. She pinched her fingers closed and put them to her mouth in a command to eat. They headed for the kitchens, which weren’t near fully running, but were in good enough condition to run simple meals out slightly easier than on the road. 

He grimaced when he found it was porridge, again. He was getting sick of the stuff. But it was cheap, easy to store, easy to cook in huge amounts, and so on. Practical. He frowned at the bowl as he followed Cass back to the main hall to find a space to eat. He needed to ask Josephine for a favor. She’d probably know how to swing it. 

Once they had found a corner to eat in, Damon spoke between mouthfuls. “So, there a plan for the day?”

Cassandra nodded. “Yes, there is a matter of importance we need to address. The council awaits outside.”

He squinted at her. “This got anything to do with why Josephine wanted my hair pretty?”

She hesitated, but nodded. 

He shrugged, not really getting why she was being vague but whatever. “We can find Emma and get right to it then.”

“I don’t think-”

“Cass. Personal issues aside, Emma is still the Herald. She’s still- She’s important and we can’t leave her outta things. Especially if we’re gonna do whatever it is outside where everyone can see us. The Herald’s gotta be at our side.”

Cassandra made a face but sighed. “You are correct. I had not thought of… appearances.” 

“I can be more than a pretty face if I put my mind to it.” He grinned when she rolled her eyes but didn’t dispute it. 

They finished eating and returned the dishes to the kitchen and Cassandra started heading for the main door. Damon saw Emma leaning against a wall, talking to Varric with Gaelathe in her arms, and motioned for her to join them. She looked startled but hurried over, falling into step beside him.

“So, what’s goin’ on?” He asked. Emma looked away nervously, pretending to be absorbed in Gaelathe’s hat.

Cassandra face fell serious as she answered. “Your decisions let us heal the sky, your determination brought us out of Haven and to Skyhold. You are that creature’s rival because of what you did. And we know it, all of us.” 

Damon frowned as they exited the hall and started down the main steps. He could see Leliana waiting down at the flat area where the steps turned. She was holding a fancy sword and he got an uneasy feeling in his gut. He glanced at Cassandra, who’s shoulders were back and her chin up in, was it pride? Or determination? Emma was more obviously proud, but a bit pale. She walked with her back straight and her head high but with Gaelathe close to her chest.

“The Inquisition requires a leader: the one who has already been leading it. You.”

Damon stifled a gasp as he realized what they were trying to do. He glanced down at the courtyard below the stairs and saw the area was crowded with soldiers and people, Cullen and Josephine near the front. Leliana bowed her head and offered him the sword. It looked ceremonial. Important. Nothing like him. 

He glanced between the three women, dread coiling in his chest. “Did you all decide this? Y’all have that much confidence in me?”

“All of these people have have seen your efforts. They will follow you.” Cassandra replied. Emma smiled bracingly at him and moved so that she was standing next to him, but slightly behind. Supporting him.

“But me?” He didn’t know if he could do this. He was out of place, out of his world. He didn’t know if he could lead. Didn’t know if he could handle these people’s lives on his head. He was just a messed up dumbass from the backwoods. 

“I will not lie. Handing this power to anyone is troubling, but I have to believe this is meant to be.There would be no Inquisition without you. How it will serve, how you will lead: that must be yours to decide.”

They had decided then. They had chosen him. There was nothing he could do but do what was asked of him. If this was how they wanted him to help, then he would do his best. His heart was pounding and he had to work hard to keep his panic from being obvious on his face. He accepted the sword from Leliana, glancing over the dragon on the hilt.

“Then I… then we will do what is right. The Inquisition will fight for us all.” Did that sound appropriate? Was that good enough for an acceptance speech? Had he fucked it all up in the first thirty seconds? He glanced at Emma, wishing she had warned him about this, had told him what to say, but she looked just as pale and nervous as he felt. 

Cassandra turned to the crowd watching eagerly below and shouted. “Have our people been told?” 

Josephine shouted back from the front of the crowd. “They have! And soon the world.”

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Cassandra looked over at Cullen. “Commander, will they follow?”

In. Out.

“Inquisition! Will you follow?” Cullen turned to the soldiers, who raised their fists and shouted.

This was actually happening. Breathe in. Breathe out. He felt Emma touch his arm, subtly trying to comfort him. He needed it. 

“Will you fight? Will we triumph?”

A roaring cheer swelled up again and Damon’s stomach flipped. He had better not upchuck until afterwards and he was out of sight. 

“Your leader, your Inquisitor!” Cullen drew his sword and raised it above his head in a salute. The soldiers shouted again, some drawing their own weapons. Josephine shouted, then covered her mouth in embarrassment. 

Fuck it. This was actually happening. They had put him in charge. Why? Why would they do that? He looked over the hopeful crowd and did the only thing he could think of. He raised the ceremonial sword above his head and hoped he didn’t look as terrified as he felt. 

 

 

 

Emma knew he wouldn’t turn it down, but she also knew that this was the last thing he wanted. He’d think he wasn't good enough, wasn’t smart enough. He always thought he wasn’t smart enough, but he was. She believed in him. She had been surprised when he had asked her to walk with him. She knew he was still hurt. He still got that lost look when he looked at her, but he had wanted her by his side still. 

She had been close enough to see the slight tremor in his arm when he had raised the sword, could see the carefully controlled breaths he was taking. She had impulsively touched his arm like she would have before and he hadn’t flinched away, had actually relaxed minutely. Maybe one day they’d actually be okay. 

After the crowd had had their moment to celebrate, the councillors had flanked Damon and her and had herded them into the War Room for their first meeting, only pausing long enough to allow her to hand Gaelathe off to Cassandra. 

Cullen looked around the room. “So this is where it begins.”

Leliana shook her head. “It began out in the courtyard. This is where we put that promise into action.”

“But what do we do? We know nothing of this ‘Corypheus’ except that he wanted the Herald’s mark.” Josephine asked. 

Emma hugged herself nervously when Damon looked directly at her. “We need details, Lady Herald.” His voice was low and serious. “All of them this time.”

“Wh-” She cleared her throat. “Where should I start?”

“Are we safe here?” Leliana asked.

Emma nodded. “As far as I know. Some… some things have changed so the future is more uncertain. But as far as I know he won’t come here.”

Cullen closed his eyes for a moment in relief. 

“Kay. Then who or what is he?” Damon folded his arms across his chest and even though she knew it was more defensive than anger, she still wanted to go hide. 

“He’s… he’s an ancient Tevinter magister and a darkspawn. He wants to restore the Tevinter Imperium to its former glory and become a god in the process. That’s… that’s why he wanted the mark. So he could enter the fade and reach the Black City.” She chewed her lip, trying to figure how much it was safe to say. 

“And?” Damon prompted quietly. 

“He has… a stolen artifact. He used it at the conclave. It’s… we need to get it away from him.”

“We need- Do you know of his more immediate plans? Anything we need to prepare for?” 

“He’s going to try and assassinate the Empress of Orlais in order to throw the south into chaos.” Emma winced at Leliana and Josephine’s gasps. 

“When?” Leliana leaned her hands onto the old table.

“At the masquerade ball in the Winter Palace.”

“Then we must warn her!” Josephine cried. 

Damon eyed her, his face expressionless. “I’m guessing that won’t help and that we’ll have to get there ourselves somehow.” She nodded and he rubbed his temples. “Outcome?” 

She hesitated. This was… tricky. Possibly treason but she wasn’t Orlesian. “It… depends on what you decide to do when there, but whatever you decide should be successful as long as you play the Game well.”

He raised his head out of his hand and stared blankly at her. “Oh no.”

Leliana frowned. “What do you mean?”

She twisted her hands together anxiously and caught Damon’s eye, turning the nervous gesture into the sign for ‘later’. “I can’t tell you how everything will go because it all depends on how you respond to certain conversations, a bunch of tiny details that add up. If you play the Game correctly things will work out, Orlais will be stabilized and the Inquisition will have a powerful ally.” She looked at them and shrugged. “I can’t tell you how to play the Game.”

Damon grimaced. “I’ll double down on the etiquette and shit then.”

Josephine made a note on her clipboard. “I will make sure you have some time to work with either Leliana or myself on certain mannerisms and composure before the ball. We do have a few months to prepare.”

“Thank you.” He glanced at Emma. “You?” 

She nodded but her gut twisted in uncertainty. “I know what I'm supposed to do but….” she glanced hesitantly between Leliana and Josephine. “We might need dancing lessons.”

Damon looked upward in gratitude. “At least something will be fun about this.”

Josephine scribbled on her clipboard. “I'll make the arrangements.”

Damon nodded, then looked around. “If that's it for now, I think we need to talk about renovations. I've seen several things that need fixin’ and we need to prioritize.”

They talked for a good thirty minutes about plans for Skyhold. Cullen suggesting things for defense, Leliana about security, and Josie, bless her, about furnishings, some of which she somehow already had being built or on its way. Emma’s head was hurting halfway through and she wasn’t even the one in charge.

They were just wrapping things up and she was about to make a retreat when Damon got her attention, signing, “We need to talk.”

Her stomach turned. She had a idea about what he wanted to talk about, and she knew he wasn't going to like it. She didn't like it. She nodded mutely and he lead her out of the war room and toward the door to the Inquisitor's quarters. They were silent as they climbed the stairs.

Damon closed the door to his room behind them and gestured for her to go on into the main area of the room. Once there, he turned to her and frowned. Obviously mulling on something.

“What did you want to talk about?” She tried to sound calm but her stomach wouldn't stop turning.

“It’s about the decisions at the Ball.” His hands went up to run over his face in exhaustion. “Jus’ give me the best and worst outcomes.”

“That’s… complicated. There’s not a… there’s not a best? It just… changes things.” 

“Dammit, Emma! Just talk to me!” Damon shouted, making her jump and step back. He inhaled slowly and and continued in a more moderate tone. “Just tell me what I need to know. Please.” 

“You’ll end up deciding who rules Orlais and how.” She looked down and wrapped her arms around her waist.

He scrubbed a hand over his face and swore. He looked stressed and scared and she didn’t know how to help him anymore. 

“There’s… three people who you’d have to choose from.” She continued quietly. “In different combinations. It affects future wars, elvhen rights, who will become Divine, and the future of the Inquisition. None of them are exactly right or wrong. It just depends on what you want to happen.” 

He sank to the floor and sat heavily. “Okay. Lay it out. Divine. Tha’s like the pope here?”

She nodded and sat in front of him. “It’s… it’s between Leliana, Cassandra, or Vivienne unless that’s changed somehow.”

“Shit. And?”

“It… they each will change things. Cass will reinstate the circles with a few changes and maybe reform the Seekers. Leliana will abolish circles and form a mage college instead and allows other races into the priesthood. Vivienne reinstates the circles and reforms the Templars.”

He scratched at his wrist and studied her. “An’ circles are where they imprison mages?”

“Sort of, yeah.” She grimaced. “There's other ways you'll influence who becomes Divine, but who rules Orlais does affect it.”

He shuddered and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “Shit, Em. That's too much power. Why?” his voice broke and he raised his head from his hands to look at her with terrified eyes. “Why’d you let them put me in charge? I know you coulda stopped it. I can't- I'm just a dumb hick, Em.”

She straightened indignantly and opened her mouth to protest but instead closed her mouth and shook her head. Now wasn't the time to have this argument again. “Because I honestly believe you'll make the best choices. You'll do what's right, even if it's hard.”

He inhaled shakily and let his hands drop into his lap, his expression determined. “Okay, best outcome for elves?”

“Either reconcile Briala with the empress, or make the duke a puppet ruler with Briala controlling him.”

“And mages?”

“Either, doesn’t really matter either way, but a puppet Gaspard makes it more likely that Leliana becomes divine.”

He chewed his thumbnail. “how's that Gaspard guy get in charge?"

She hesitated, he knew he wouldn’t like this. “You'd have to let the assassin get Celine before catching them.”

“Fuck, I can't just allow a hit! I can’t just let someone die.” He put his hands back over his face in horror.

“I don’t know for certain, but if you save Celine, there’s a chance you’d have to support Gaspard’s execution to avoid another civil war in the future.” She said quietly. 

“Wait, his execution?”

“I know where to look but there’s evidence that he was planning a coup. It’s… you can either have him exiled, executed, or blackmail him into being a puppet. Or you can just never bring it up.” 

Damon shook his head. “So basically it’s Celine and Briala or Gaspard and Briala?”

“Yeah, if you’re concerned about elves and mages: yeah.” She twisted her hands together in her lap and let him think. “Do you need more detail?”

“I’ll… I’ve got time to think. I’ll come to you with questions as I find them.” He finally spoke. “Thank you, for talking to me. I’ll let you know when I’ve made up my mind so you can plan accordingly.”

He sounded so formal it made her heart hurt. They shouldn’t be like this. She had ruined them. But then he shuddered and growled in his throat. “Alright. That’s for later. I’m gonna go hug Gaelathe.” He jumped to his feet and shook his hands out. 

She followed him back down the stairs and to the door to the main hall. He opened it and made a happy noise and she looked over his shoulder to see Cass standing there with a fussing Gaelathe. “I think he is hungry. His cloth is clean.” Her eyes cut to Emma for a second before focusing on Damon.

Damon huffed and took him from her. “Thanks Cass, I appreciate you watchin’ him for us. I’ll go get ‘im some milk.”

“I'll just… um…” Emma’s voice was quiet as pointed towards the rotunda. “See y'all.”

Damon gave her a small smile. “Alright.”

Cass didn't answer. It hurt, knowing Cassandra would probably never forgive her for what she did to Damon. She looked down and slipped away from the pair, leaving them to care for Gaelathe. 

She took a quick trip down to her room and grabbed her book. It only took her a moment of being in the empty place before she decided to go sit in her favorite room in Skyhold. She was out of breath again by the time she reached the Rotunda. She was glad she had been hiking and riding practically every day for the past couple of months or living downstairs would have been a lot harder. There was a lot of traffic in the library with people trying to get it set up and useable, but the Rotunda was fortunately empty when she reached it. The platform she knew so well wasn’t built yet, so she simply sat on the floor with her back against the wall to read. Maybe behind a stack of crates so it was harder to see her. She wasn’t hiding. Just reading. Not hiding.

It took a few pages for it to really catch her interest, her mind kept running back to Damon and the Inquisition, but eventually she was absorbed in the book, caught up in trying to read between the lines and figure out what had really happened. They only said the Chantry sister had perished at the temple, not that Cousland had betrayed her. They just called the Landsmeet, when she had the sudden urge to sneeze. Must be all the dust they were stirring up upstairs. She tucked her head into her sleeve and sneezed loudly, the sneeze turning into a cough as she inhaled saliva when a loud curse right next to her startled her. 

There was a loud thud as a stack of books fell to the ground next to her and she pulled her legs in quickly to avoid being hit. She peered around the stack of crates and saw Solas with a shimmer of magic in his fingers.

He relaxed and the magic disappeared when he noticed her. “Forgive me, you startled me.”

She laughed and gestured to the books. “Sorry. You kinda startled me too.”

His eyes flicked over her position between the crates and the wall. “Why are you-?” He stopped and frowned before finishing the question.

“I wasn’t hiding.” She said, feeling defensive. She hadn’t been hiding. Just reading. In a corner. Behind something. She sighed. “Okay, I was kinda hiding.”

His lip quirked as he tried to repress a laugh. “Ahh.”

She impulsively stuck her tongue out at him and he lost his composure, laughing out loud with shoulders shaking as he bent to pick up the books that had fallen. She smiled and moved to sit on her knees and help him gather them up. She wasn't sure what to talk about now so she just said the first thing that came to her mind. “So, Josie said that we should be getting some furniture in our rooms within the next few weeks or so.”

Solas stilled, his eyes darting up to look at her face before dropping back down to the books in his hands. “That is… good to hear.” He sounded unsure about something.

Emma furrowed her brow at him. “Unless you like your bedroll and don't want a bed?” 

“What?” He looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“You sounded like you didn't know how to feel about that.” Emma handed him a few books. 

Solas added the books to his stack and tapped on the top cover as if trying to think. “That wasn't…. forgive me.” He blew out a breath. “Earlier I…. I overstepped.” Emma opened her mouth to question him but he continued. “I made you uncomfortable yesterday with my actions. You are a dear friend and I… would not risk that.”

Suddenly it was clear what he was talking about and she felt heat flood her cheeks at the memory. She had known he hadn't meant anything by it but now that it was confirmed she felt… disappointed. How foolish she felt. She shook her head and gave him the best smile she could muster. “You didn’t! I mean, we’re fine. I was just… you didn't strike me as ‘touchy’.” When he frowned at that she rushed to assure him that wasn't what she meant. “No nononono… I don't mind it… it's actually kinda nice… I mean I'm a hugger and with everyone… you know, it's nice to have someone who doesn't mind.” She buried her face in her hands. “I'm rambling aren't I?”

Solas smiled gently and shook his head. “I don't mind… Its endearing.” 

Emma knew her face was on fire now. “Stop that!” She laughed and shoved his shoulder lightly, picking up her book and standing. “Now that that's settled, I think I'll go find another hid- um, reading spot.”

Solas chuckled and stood with her, tucking some books under his arm before hoisting the rest of the stack in front of him. “Might I suggest the gardens? They have not yet begun work in them, but there are several stone benches yet well preserved.”

She nodded, liking that idea. “That sounds perfect, thanks.” She grinned at him before heading for the door, but turned back last minute to find him still watching her. “See you at supper?”

Solas smiled and nodded. “At supper.” He confirmed.

She waved goodbye before she ducked out the door. She felt completely and utterly stupid. Of course Solas only saw her as a friend. ‘Dear friend.’ Of course that was all. Definitely feeling stupid. But knowing she was being stupid didn't stop the ache in her chest.

She found the garden deserted, like he had said it would be, and a bench against the wall with a natural arbor of vines providing shade. It was the perfect place to read. Soon she had the book open again: the Landsmeet was called, Cousland had managed to gather the support of the nobles, Logain was found a traitor and--- nonononono.

Emma snapped the book shut and stood, needing to find- She gasped and stepped back, almost tripping over the bench, when she found Leliana there in front of her, looking startled.

“Forgive me, I was not meaning to scare you.” She brought her posture under control and folded her hands behind her back.

“It’s okay, I was just reading.” Emma set her book on the bench. She was unsure whether or not she should be glad or wary that it was Leliana, the exact person that she wanted to speak to. She tried to figure out how to phrase her question, but Leliana surprised her by speaking first. 

“May I speak with you?” 

Emma nodded, a little warily if she was honest, and Leliana gave her an understanding smile, completely sincere as far as Emma could tell. What the crap? She felt like she had just stepped into an old Twilight Zone episode. Last she checked Leliana distrusted her completely, maybe even hated her.

“I have thought on your words back in Haven quite a bit.”

Oh no. Emma quickly scanned the garden. Yup, they were alone. She was about to die. Maybe if she-

“And I believe you were right.” Leliana’s words snapped her out of her panic. The Bard pulled a small wooden box from her cloak and held it out to her.

Emma took it curiously and opened it. “Is this-?”

“Yes. The amulet you requested.”

“Thank you thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Emma couldn’t help it, she grabbed Leliana and hugged her. The Spymaster stiffened and Emma quickly let go and stepped back. “Sorry...I’m sorry, I just- Thank you!” She felt herself tearing up. She could save Wisdom now!

Leliana stared at her for a moment before inclining her head. “You are welcome.” She turned to leave before stopping and looking back at Emma. “You were right, I had lost sight of what was truly important.”

Emma watched Leliana start to walk away, completely stunned. She never talked to her about Butler, one of her softening moments. But the Bard had not only told her she was sorry in her own way but had also obtained the amulet she had asked for after emphatically refusing her.

How much was actually different? Had she changed that much already, or were the differences already there? She was so stunned she almost forgot why she was glad to see Leliana. 

“Leli, wait!” Emma called to the Bard, and felt her face burn in embarrassment that she had shortened Leliana”s name. Leliana paused in her stride, turning her head and raising an eyebrow in question. ”Can I-.... I mean… It’s about Alistair.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *singing offkey* You take two steps forward then you take two steps back, all cuz you think they don' like you like that! -AntlersandFangs


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings for self harm, drug mention, vague discussion of suicide. The first and last sections of this chapter are the parts containing these
> 
> song is Let Me In from the movie Rigoletto https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5eKagzGAv0 skip to like the two minute mark to hear the song

Skyhold was coming along quickly. Damon was a little shocked at how quickly the council could get things together in the middle of nowhere. The kitchens were running, the windows were at least patched until they could ship new glass in, foundations were being repaired. All of it at unbelievable speeds. They’d even turned ground in the valley for the first of the new crops. Hopefully they’d have good luck with them, Damon was getting tired of rationing their supplies out. And porridge. So tired of porridge.

Skyhold was coming together and Damon felt like he was falling apart. He was keeping it together well enough during the day, he had too many people counting on him to be anything but down to business. But at night… most nights he woke up with his heart pounding and nausea in his gut from the dreams plaguing him. He spent most of the hours of darkness knitting away by candle light to keep his hands from shaking. He knew he could get some of that dreamless sleep potion from Solas, but he just… he couldn’t. Not with his head like this. Times like this he was glad his skin was so dark because the bags under his eyes barely showed up.

First thing in the morning, Damon had gone looking for Cullen, wanting to go over some reports that he had sent over to his room on Red Templar sightings, but when he got there he found the commander in the tower he had claimed as his office leaning on his desk, that Josephine had somehow acquired for him, over a small box. Cullen looked up at him and Damon noticed the dark circles under his eyes had gotten worse. 

“As leader of the Inquisition, you..” He exhaled and stood up, hands going to rest on the hilt of his sword. “There’s something I must tell you.”

“Yeah? ‘Sgoin’ on?” Damon looked over him in concern. He looked rough, even rougher than Damon felt.

“Right.” He leaned back onto his desk. “Lyrium grants Templars our abilities, but it controls us as well. Those cut off suffer. Some go mad, others die.”

Damon felt his stomach clench. He didn’t like where this was headed.

“We have secured a reliable source of lyrium for the Templars here, but I… no longer take it.” Cullen's head dropped in exhaustion at the admission, as if he had been carrying a weight on his shoulders.

“You’re quittin’ it?” He felt a bit… looser at that.

Cullen nodded, his hand going to rub the back of his neck. All the mannerisms Damon had noticed in the last several months made sense now. The pinching the bridge of his nose, the lack of sleep, lack of appetite, gripping the handle of his sword to prevent his hands from shaking. All of these were signs of withdrawals that he probably should have noticed before now. “When I joined the Inquisition. It’s been months now.”

“That’s great!” Damon couldn’t help a grin. “You gotta support system or you been goin’ alone?”

Cullen blinked and looked up at him. “I have asked Cassandra to... watch me. If my ability to lead is compromised, I will be relieved from duty.”

“Tha’s great an’ all, but I meant do you have someone to talk to when the cravings get bad, someone to help out when the withdrawals get shitty.” Damon didn’t want to think of going through that shit alone.

“You sound as if you know what it feels like.” Cullen straightened and put his hands back on his sword hilt, looking defensive.

“Not… not lyrium. Somethin’ else.” Damon winced and smoothed his thumb over his inner wrist. He didn’t… didn’t want to talk about this. Hadn’t talked about it, ever. But… if it helped… “When I was… when I was twenty-one my mom died. Heart attack. Dad did himself in the next day.”

“Maker.”

“Emma ran away, went to school so far away I couldn’t reach her.” He shrugged uncomfortably. “I… lost it. Started takin’ shit, bad shit, anything to numb myself out. It took me a long time to get help and get off it. Was clean almost three years. Emma… I never told Emma.” 

“Is that why…” Cullen looked down and frowned.

“Why I freaked out on her so bad for drugging me? Sorta, yeah…Ain’t exactly fair to her cuz I still ain’t told her. But I don’ want her to… to...” He shook his head. “But this ain’t about me. All I’m sayin’, one ex-addict to another: You’re doing a great thing and if you need to talk to someone or need something to hit, I’m here for you.”

“Thank you.” Cullen’s voice was thoughtful, but then he straightened and ran a hand over his face. “The Inquisition’s army must always take top priority. Should anything happen… I will defer to Cassandra’s judgement.”

“I’m glad you’re tryin’ to be responsible about this, and I trust Cassandra’s judgement, but take care of yourself too.” The reports could wait. Damon needed to… needed to- he didn’t know what he needed but it needed to be not this subject. He put his fist over his heart in a salute, that Cullen returned quickly, and turned on his heel and made his escape with his pulse pounding in his ears. 

 

 

Emma had tried to catch Solas the other day to give him the amulet, but she hadn’t been able to catch him alone in order to talk about it. This kind of thing needed to be said in private without the risk of someone walking in on them. But things were hectic as they settled into Skyhold and everyone was busy. 

Today though, today she had managed to wake up earlier than normal and was going to try and talk to Solas before the majority of the castle was awake. The amulet was still safe inside its box and was tucked into her pocket. She kept a nervous hand on it as she snuck out of her bedroom and down the hall, hoping Dorian wasn’t a light sleeper, and walked to Solas’ door. She didn’t know how he was going to react to her knowing about Wisdom. She didn’t even know how to go about bringing the subject up. 

She looked up and down the hallway to make sure it was clear before quietly tapping on the door. Hopefully he was awake already and could hear it. She stood at the door for nearly a minute. He didn't answer or call out. She glanced anxiously back at Dorian’s door and knocked softly again. There was still no answer. She didn’t want to call out to him and risk waking Dorian, God knew what kind of gossip he’d spread just to see her blush. 

Maybe he was already up? She tested the latch and found that it gave under her hand. She could just peek in. If he wasn’t there, there’d be no harm done and she really did need to talk to him sooner rather than later.

Reasons perfectly justified, she cracked open the door. It was pitch black inside, she couldn’t even make out four feet in front of her face. Did he let the fire go out on purpose? She heard shuffling behind her, coming from Dorian’s room, and in a panic quickly stepped inside and shut the door behind her as noiselessly as she could. She held her breath for a moment, waiting to see if she had been noticed.

She could hear Dorian’s door open and footsteps fading down the hallway. She exhaled a breath in relief. That had been too close. She started to stand straight when harsh fingers gripped the back of her neck and slammed her against the door with enough force to knock the air from her lungs. She instinctively raised her hand to fight back, but it too was grabbed and pinned against the ancient wood. 

“Who sent you?” She felt hot breath on her ear as her assailant whispered harshly, almost growling.

She felt a whisper of magic enter her. It was...compelling her… she felt her mind fog as she struggled to think. Her body shuddered at the invasive pressure on her mind. She felt it clawing, digging for control. No nononononono. She pushed back as hard as she could, prying the claws from her mind until she could make her mouth work. “S-Solas!” She gasped out urgently. “It’s me!”

“Pala!”

In an instant the pressure left her mind and the hands and body restraining her jerked away. Without anything holding her to the wall she felt her body sag from both mental and physical exhaustion. She slid down against the door and sprawled onto the stone floor in relief. 

LIght suddenly lit the room, the fireplace and every candle flaming to life. A pale and shaken Solas stood over her with a horrified expression.

She suddenly felt sorry for him, but God that was scary! Solas just- she never thought- mind-freakin-control? She shook her head trying to shake the phantom feeling from her mind.

Solas seemed to have come out of his shock, because now he was kneeling by her, hands glowing ready to heal, speaking in a near frantic tone. “Ir abelas, did I hurt you? Ir abelas, Emma. I didn’t-” he cut himself off, shaking his head in horrified guilt. “Ir abelas, Emma’falon.”

The utter despair in his voice broke her heart, Emma pushed aside her distress over what had just occurred and gave him a weak smile as she tried to assure him she was alright. “Solas, I’m ok. Freaked out a little but I'm good.” When he still didn’t look relieved she sighed and touched his arm gently. “I’m ok, really.” His arm was tense, muscles stiff under her hand, so she clasped his hand in hers instead, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m sorry.”

He looked at her incredulously. “You are sorry? I almost- if your will wasn't-” He cut himself off and looked away, running his free hand over his hair. “Why are you even in here?”  
“Um. I needed to talk to you privately and I haven’t been able to for a while?” She winced, that sounded less reasonable out loud.

“That was a foolish thing to do. You could have told me at any point that you wished to speak privately and it could have been arranged.” He tried to scold her but she could tell from his voice that his heart wasn’t in it. He was probably blaming himself for what happened even though she was clearly the guilty party. She had invaded his room, the Dread Wolf’s room. Someone who had probably had countless attempts on his life throughout time.

“Yeah… it was pretty stupid in hindsight.”

She made to stand and Solas grabbed her arm, pulling her to her feet. “Come.” Before she could protest, he led her over to where his bedroll was laid out. Since the furniture shipment hadn't come in yet, everyone was still using their travel rolls until the bed frames were either delivered or made. “Let me check you for any… injuries I may have caused.”

He pressed her to sit and she sank onto the bedroll. If she was completely honest with herself, her legs were still pretty shaky. She sat quietly as he ran his hands over the back of her neck, cool healing magic soaking into her skin, probably ensuring that she didn’t bruise from his rough handling of her.

A question nagged at her mind and she chewed on her lip as she debated whether or not to ask it. Finally her curiosity got the better of her. “I thought mind control was only associated with blood magic?”

Solas’ hands stilled and his eyes dropped to hers. “It… is a common misconception.” He answered quietly, as he picked up her wrist. “I… the technique is harder to master without the use of blood. Thus many resort to blood magics.” His hands pulsed cooling magic through her wrist as his thumb ran over where a bruise was already starting to form. “Had I known-” he cut himself off again and opened his mouth to say the apology she knew was coming yet again.

“Don’t.” She put her free hand over his mouth and almost laughed at the startled look on his face. “We really need to break the habit of you apologizing to me all the time.”

She felt his lip twitch under her hand and she pulled it back for him to speak. “If only you knew how close-” he let go of her wrist and ran both hands over his face as if to scrub the thought from his mind. “That form of magic was not developed with the... subjects health in mind. It was used to gain information from hostile soldiers and spies during the great wars.” He raised his eyes to hers and she could see self loathing within their depths. “Your mind could have been shredded completely. If you were any less-” his head hung in utter guilt, not able to look her in the eye any longer.

It was heartbreaking. It was her own idiocy that had gotten her into trouble, he had just simply reacted as he would have if it were his life in danger. 

She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, look at me.” He hesitated but did eventually look up at her. “I'm fine. My mind is fine. You didn’t hurt me. Scared the living daylights out of me sure, but I'm ok.”

He didn’t look comforted by that so she did the only thing she could think of: she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He stiffened in surprise for a second before his body relaxed and his arms tentatively encircled her as well, his forehead falling onto her shoulder as he breathed deeply. “If I had-” he cut himself off, shuddering and his hands gripping her tighter as if assuring himself she was still there. She was ok.

“Shh.” She rubbed his back lightly and tried not to think about the flutter in her stomach. He cared for her but not like that. Maybe like he cared for Wisdom and that would have to be enough. “You didn’t.”

They sat like that for a few moments more before he took a shaky breath and began to pull away. She let him go and watched him sit back, putting some distance between them.

He offered her a weak smile. “You are much more forgiving than most, Emma’falon.” He shook his head and stood, walking over to where his travel pack hung on a wall peg, and pulled out the sweater like shirt she’d seen him wear at Haven. He came back and handed it to her. “Here, put this on. It will take a while for the room to heat and I have not set out permanent heating runes yet.” She opened her mouth to protest but he cut her off with a quiet. “Please.”

She didn’t have the heart to refuse but the thought of wearing his clothes made her ears burn in embarrassment. Nevertheless, she slipped the garment over her head, struggling a bit with the sleeves. “So how come you let the fire die?” She asked once it was on, hoping to get her mind off of her embarrassment.

“Most elves still have the ability to regulate their own body heat to adjust to their environment.” He said, almost absentmindedly, as he leaned against the wall next to where she sat.

“Thus the lack of footwear.” She laughed, pointing to his feet, which only had the green footwraps, toes free. “So it IS an elven thing.”

He chuckled. “Yes, I suppose so.” Is was good to see him smiling after… everything. “What was it you wished to speak to me about?”

She hesitated, still unsure how to bring Widsom up, but finally she dug into her pocket and brought the box out. She held it out to him and he made a pained expression before taking it. He opened it and frowned, his eyes snapping back up to her in confusion. 

“Where did you get this?” She opened her mouth to answer but he shook his head. “Why did you get this?”

“It’s…” She picked at the hem of his sweater nervously. “It’s for Wisdom.”

His expression blanked as his gaze flicked between her and the amulet. After a few seconds he shuddered and slid down against the wall to sit. “I can only assume that- that something terrible would happen to her if you went to the trouble to procure this.”

She nodded, but rushed to reassure him when his face fell. “But it won’t happen now! We can keep it from happening.”

He picked the amulet out of the box and ran his thumb over its surface before grasping it tightly in his fist. “This amulet was created to prevent spirits from being bound.” He looked at her then, barely contained rage showing in his eyes. “Who?”

She shook her head vigorously at him. “Oh no! I know that look and I didn't go through all of this just so you could go all vengeful anyway.” He opened his mouth to protest but she cut him off before he could say a word. “No. We have the amulet now, we can protect her. They won’t be able to hurt her now so there’s no reason to incinerate anyone.”

He winced slightly. “Ah. You’ve… seen me…”

She nodded. “But this time I can stop it, can keep her safe.” She then looked away, mumbling. “And save them from their own ignorance.”

Solas looked down again and rubbed his thumb over the amulet in thought. When he spoke again his voice sounded strained with an emotion she couldn’t identify. “Thank you, for protecting my friend.” He looked over at her. “Wisdom is- was the only one… when I was in uthenera.”

Emma smiled gently. “She’s dear to you. I get it.” When he nodded and looked back down she nudged his arm. “So you need to give it to her as soon as possible.”

Solas nodded and took a breath before standing and crossing over to place the box with the amulet into his travel pack. “I will need to do a summoning ritual to bind her to the amulet.”

“We can use one of the towers that are still abandoned.” She suggested as she slowly rose to her feet, testing her legs. “I can have Josie and Cullen keep everyone away until it’s done?” She had to steady herself with a hand to the wall.

Solas pursed his lips in thought then nodded. “That should be sufficient.” He looked over at her and frowned. “You feel weak.” It wasn’t a question.

“I’m fine-” She stopped when he leveled a disbelieving look at her. “Yes, a little. But I really am okay.”

He made a noise in the back of his throat and held out a hand to her. “Come, I’ll escort you to the dining hall. A meal will help you regain your strength.”

“No!” He raised an eyebrow at her frantic head shake and her face flamed in embarrassment. “I mean… If anyone sees us…” her face only grew hotter. “Damon will never leave it alone.”

Solas stared at her with a unreadable expression before chuckling and shaking his head at her in clear exasperation. “You worry he’ll see it as something else?”

“I’d only be leaving your room in the early morning while wearing your clothes. What could possibly be gossip worthy of that?” She rolled her eyes.

His lips quirked as he took in her form. “Yes, I'm sure there would be nasty rumors about how the Herald of Andraste was cold and was forced to wear her friend’s oversized, unfashionable sweater.”

“It’s not that bad.” She grabbed the hem and pulled it away from her to look at it, then realized she was being distracted. “Fine. But you get to deal with Damon.” 

Solas chuckled and steadied her with his hand on her elbow as they made their way to the door. “Ma nuvenin.”

Emma's foot faltered midstep and her eyes darted over at him, but he only steadied her and guided her through the door. He didn't seem to have any idea what he just- no don't go there. She chided herself. It was elvhen, Solas had said it several times in the game, it wasn't anything like that.

 

 

 

Damon was feeling a little better. He had had his freak out and now he was determined to get through the day on a bright note, to try and get his mind off of… things. It was time he started trying to get over himself and fix things with Emma. He was no good without her and he could see him keeping his distance was hurting her. He saw people avoiding her, saw them give him wary looks before talking to her. That wasn’t okay. He didn’t want to hurt her, just to get his shit together. He needed to suck it up and fix it.

Breakfast was being served and Josephine and Dorian both had come through for him so he was feeling proud of himself when he left the kitchens and scanned the main hall for Emma. She was sitting at a table in a corner, Solas beside her as usual, though he was watching her with an odd intensity. Well, more intense than normal. He seemed concerned? Damon looked over Emma as he approached. Cass had Gaelathe that morning so Emma’s arms were empty and she was gesturing haphazardly as she talked to Solas, but she did seem a bit pale. Had something happened? She was wearing a new sweater, and for a moment he wondered where she had gotten it until he realized it looked really familiar and like it would fit the man next to her better than it did her... Oh boy, he really was going to lose that bet. 

She stopped talking when he walked over and gave him a tentative smile. He returned it and set a cup of coffee in front of her, enjoying how her nervous smile transformed into a delighted one.

“Thank you!” She grabbed the cup with both hands and pulled it towards her greedily.

He grinned and produced the tiny pound cake Josephine had helped him procure and a paper wrapped package he had been hiding behind his back. He knew she’d really prefer he did this in private, but he needed to make a silent statement to the people watching. 

She looked up at him with a puzzled expression. “What’s this?”

“Happy birthday, Em.” He set the cake in front of her and saw Solas glance at her with a surprised expression. He probably should have remembered to tell him…Oops. 

“Really?” She asked excitedly and pulled the tiny cake closer. “How’d you get a cake?”

“Best I can tell. Looked at the calendars here and figured it close enough. And I asked a few favors.” He nudged the package closer to her. “Gonna open it?”

Emma eyed him nervously but tore the paper open to reveal the gray and white patterned hat he’d been working on for weeks now. He was proud of it, patterns weren’t his strong point, but the diamond pattern had shown up nicely, gave it a kinda furry look. She started to smile but her expression froze when she unfolded it and saw the wolf ears sewn onto the top. He grinned as her entire face turned red and she shrank down in her seat.

“You gonna try it on? I worked real hard to get it done in time.” He knew exactly why she didn’t want to and that made it that much better. It was easy to fall back into their old rhythm and he’d missed teasing her. 

Her eyes darted to Solas, who was watching her curiously but couldn’t see what she was holding in the paper. Damon reached over and snagged the hat out of her hands and pulled it on over her head before she could protest, adjusting it and stepping back to admire his work. “I think I did okay, wha’d’ya think, Solas?”

Solas looked at the hat for a long moment, his ears turning slightly pink before he shot a sharp glance at Damon. “It is very well made.” He looked back at Emma and inclined his head. “Mar’Gonun.” 

It must have been a compliment because Emma gave him a smug look before jumping out of her seat and rounding the table. She wrapped her arms around him, standing on tiptoe. He bent to return the hug and grinned unashamedly when she hissed, “I will kill you.” directly into his ear. They’d be alright. 

He caught some movement in the corner of his eye and freed an arm to point directly at Varric. “Touch that cake and your boots will be full of sand for eternity.”

The rogue raised his hands innocently. “My hands are nowhere near it. But, uh, what’s the occasion? Is it someone’s name day?”

Emma let go of him and crossed her arms defensively over her chest. “It’s mine.”

“Well, why didn’t anyone tell us! We could have had a-”

“And that’s why I didn’t tell anyone.” Damon laughed.

“Must have told someone. Why else is Curly looking real nervous about that box he’s carrying?” Varric leaned against the table and jerked his chin towards where Cullen was indeed looking anxious and holding a wooden box. Solas gave the commander a narrow look, but said nothing.

“Well, I had to ask for the stuff for the cake.” Damon shrugged and waved at Cullen, inviting him over. “Might as well let him get it over with.” 

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck before walking over and tilting his head in greeting. “Damon.” He said before turning to Emma. “Josephine informed me it was your name day and I-” he cleared his throat and awkwardly held out the box. “This is…. it’s not-”

Damon took pity on him and decided to help him out a bit. “He got you somethin’ for your name day.” 

Emma smiled. “Thank you, Cullen, but you didn't have to get me anything.” She took the box and set it on the table to open it.

Cullen shifted his weight as she opened it. Only Emma would be oblivious enough not to notice that two men in the room were crushing on her. He hoped she figured it out soon before the two started trying to mark territory and got decked. “I’m afraid it isn’t much but I noticed that you don't carry any… perhaps you'll find them useful.”

Emma opened the box and gasped, causing Damon to step forward and look over her shoulder in curiosity at what had gotten that reaction out of her. There inside the box sat two matching daggers with polished rosewood handles that had been expertly carved. The blades themselves were dark like obsidian.

Damon let out a low whistle, Cullen knew how to treat a girl. “Niiice.”

“Cullen, they’re beautiful!’ Emma said quietly as she picked up one of the daggers and turned it over in her hands. “I never used daggers because I don't have any training. I’ve only ever used a bow.”

Cullen relaxed slightly at her words and even managed to smile. “If you would like I can arrange for you to have some training.”

“Thank you.” Emma beamed. “I’d like that.”

“Consider it done.” Cullen looked down and shifted his weight again. “I must be going now.” He looked up and cast her a timid smile. “Enjoy your name day.” He nodded to the others in the room before turning and heading towards where the barracks were located.

Damon noticed Emma didn’t watch him leave, instead turning her attention back to the daggers after waving goodbye to Cullen. Solas however, watched the Commander leave with barely veiled suspicion. Only Emma would find someone as smart but as oblivious as her. He rolled his eyes and pulled a stack of papers from his bag and slid them over the table to her. “This ain’t exactly a birthday thing, I just happened to get it done around the same time.”

Emma grinned at him and unfolded the papers, letting out a happy squeak when she saw the writing at the top that said it was the blueprints for a microscope he had hand drafted. “Thank you thank you!” 

He laughed as Solas leaned over the table to look at the papers, his brow furrowing as he tried to decipher them. “This is your design for a microscope then? It is an incredibly intricate piece of machinery.”

Damon shrugged. “S’not my design. I jus’ drew it out.”

Solas gave him an odd look. “From memory?”

Damon nodded, feeling uncomfortable. “Yeah, I fixed Emma’s old one of’en enough to know how to draft it. Emma needs it so...”

Varric shook his head with a chuckle. “Well, since you are breaking out the nonsense words, I’ll be taking my leave.” He patted Emma's shoulder as he passed her. “Happy nameday, Princess.”

Damon huffed a laugh and waved him off, waiting until he was reasonably out of earshot before turning to Solas. “Hey, while I got you here, can we talk privately later? I need to discuss sumthin with you.”

Solas gave a mysterious but significant look at Emma, who turned red and shrank in her seat, before he replied. “Yes, if you wish, we can speak in the gardens this afternoon? They should be empty.”

What was that about? Oh well. “Thanks that’ll work.” He glanced at Emma who was trying to subtly reach up to remove the hat. Oh, no she didn’t. “Hey, when’s that Dagna person get here? The one you said could build the microscope?”

She froze and stared at him for moment before shoving the blueprints into the dagger box and jumping to her feet, clutching the box to her chest. “I gotta go talk to Leliana!” She called out and scurried off towards the door to the Rotunda, hat forgotten and still secure on her head. 

After she left, Damon leaned his hands on the table and caught Solas’ eye. “You can’t be subtle. She don’ catch it.”

Solas straightened indignantly. “That is none of your concern.” 

He stood up and held up his hands placatingly, the message had been passed, he would back off now. “Okay.” 

A hand slapped the back of his head and he glared at Bull, who just frowned at him as he walked to the door. “No cheating.”

“I wasn’t cheating.” He grumbled and waved goodbye to Solas before walking over to where he could see Cass holding Gaelathe and looking like she had bitten into a lemon. He ambled up and smoothly took Gaelathe, kissing his forehead and getting a baby smile for reward. “Wassup, Cass?”

She scowled and crossed her arms. “You…” she glanced around the crowded hall and moved towards a more secluded hallway.

He rolled his eyes but followed her. Everyone was so secretive nowadays, including himself. It was kinda funny. Once away from most of the people, she turned on him with an expression both confused and angry. 

“Why are you acting like Emma did nothing wrong? Like she did not betray you and everything is fine between you?”

Oh. He sighed softly. “I’m not. I’m acting like I’m not angry at her for what she did.” He shook his head when she opened her mouth to argue. “I’m not, not anymore! I’m hurt, yes. What she did wasn’t okay, I know that. But I can’t stay angry. It’s not good for me.”

She frowned. “What do you mean, it’s not good for you?”

This was tough to put into words. “If… if I let myself stay angry ev’ry time someone hurts me, eventually… eventually that will be all I have left. Anger and hurt until it burns me out inside.” He looked her in the eye. “I refuse to become a bitter, angry, old man because I can’t learn to forgive.”

Her shoulders hunched slightly, defensively. “But…”

“Cass.” He said her name quietly, silently pleading with her to understand. “Even past not wantin’ to stay angry all the time, me avoidin’ her is hurting her.”  
Her jaw set mulishly. “So?” 

He regarded her for a long moment. He was so godsdamned tired. “If you take an eye for an eye, everyone ends up blind.” He shrugged. “I’s not okay to hurt someone cuz they hurt you. Defendin’ yourself is one thing, actively allowing someone to be hurt is just revenge.” 

She looked down in thought but her jaw still had a stubborn line. 

“Hey, you know…” He hesitated, unsure if this was okay to talk about, but her attentive glance made him continue. “You know how Em Sees things? Everything from someone’s secrets to the fate of a battle?”

Cass nodded uncertainly. “What of it?”

“She can’t See me.”

Cassandra’s arms uncrossed in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“She knows what will happen to you, she knows who will survive battles, she knew she’d survive facing down a blighted dragon and it’s master. But she can’t see me. She can’t see my future, can’t see my fate. Jus’, jus’ think about it. Can you imagine knowing for certain tha’ everyone would survive a battle except for your best friend? Can you imagine knowing that someone will make it, except for one person?”

Cassandra’s lips parted as she processed that. “But… That…”

He smiled grimly. “Can you imagine knowing someone would follow you to the grave without thinking twice about it, and knowing that you would survive but not if they would? Never knowing if they would make it, but knowing they’d literally follow you in and outta the Fade?”

She paled slightly. “Oh.”

“Yeah. And on top o’ that, sometimes a single sentence said at a certain time can change the future, so you don’t even know if you can say something without losing your certainty that others will survive.” He hugged Gaelathe and looked away from Cass, ready to be done thinking about this. “So, no, I’m not angry at her anymore, and I don’t want her to be hurtin’ jus’ because I am. I don’t want people pushin’ her away cuz I’m upset.”

“I think… I think I understand. You are not acting as if she did nothing wrong, but as you must to keep from hurting her.” She lifted her chin, determined. “I will try to be… kinder to her. For your sake.”

“Thanks, Cass.” He gave her a smile and bumped her shoulder with his fist. “Means a lot to me.”

She gave him a tight smile and turned on her heel. Damon watched her leave, wondering if he had said the right thing. But, what’s said is said. He gave Gaelathe another kiss and set off to find Emma. As much as he’d like to, he couldn’t hold Gaelathe all day with everything he had to do.

So he found her looking pleased while walking out of the Rotunda. Apparently this Dagna person was already on their way to Skyhold. He passed the baby off to her, then set about getting together the willpower to get those reports to Cullen and discuss them. That didn’t take too much time and then he was out of there and back into the administrative whirlwind that apparently came with being Inquisitor. Funny enough, it didn’t feel that different than what he had been doing before the title. There was just a lot more people saluting him and they called him Inquisitor or Ser instead of Damon. Felt weird, but he was practically doing the same shit he’d been doing. Weird. 

He was trying to nail down an area for a makeshift hospital, trying to convince the main healer the necessity of an indoor area that could be easily sanitized. It… was not going well. The healers were following his first aid and sanitary rules, mostly, when people were looking, but they still didn’t really seem to stick to them as tightly as they should. He was just about to give up and yell at the idiot when Solas appeared out of nowhere and smoothly asked. 

“If you don’t mind, how many injured die from rotten wounds now, compared to before the Inquisitor set out his rules of healing?”

The healer stopped and thought for a moment before turning and flipping through a large journal. He counted under his breath every few pages before frowning. “We lose less than half of what we used to.”

Damon made a ‘there you have it’ gesture. “And we can probably lose even less if we have a contained area that is easy to scrub down and keep clean.”

The healer nodded thoughtfully. “I see, but still, the air and-”

“Pick a place with windows.” Damon pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look over the maps and pick a few places with windows, I’ll look over them later and we can discuss any modifications that might have to be made.”

The healer saluted and moved off and Damon looked at Solas gratefully. “Thanks for steppin’ in. I didn’t even think of bringing that up. I can’t believe people think that ‘fresh air’ is more ‘mportant than, y’know, not having dirt in wounds.”

“It was no trouble. Come, you missed lunch.” Solas started walking towards the other side of the courtyard to where the entrance to the gardens was.

Damon fell into step beside him, but stayed quiet. His stomach did feel a bit empty, but this was probably about the talk he’d asked for, not actually about food. 

Once in the overgrown gardens, Solas walked to one of the far corners and gestured to a bundle sitting on one of the cracked but still functional stone benches. “Emma said that you would have forgotten to eat and had the kitchen staff put together something for you.” He hesitated. “She asked me to assure you that she didn’t touch it.”

Damon huffed. She was missing the point, but trying. Good enough. “Thanks.” He sat on the bench and started unwrapping the bundle, nodding to the other end of the bench to indicate Solas should sit. It was a simple meal of bread and cheese but he was hungry and now he didn’t have to try and make himself remember to eat later. 

Solas sat and looked at him. “What did you wish to discuss?”

Damon chewed thoughtfully, trying to figure out how to word things. He must have been taking too long because Solas frowned minutely.

“Sorry, jus’,” he gestured at his head with the bread. “Tryin’ to figure out how to say it.” He shrugged. Might as well just jump in. “You used to be something like a general, some kinda leader, right?” He asked quietly.

Solas flinched slightly but dipped his chin in a nod. “Something of the sort, yes.”

“So you know strategy, dealing with people, that-” Damon waved his hand vaguely. “In charge stuff?”

Solas looked a bit wary but nodded. “I do have some experience in those matters, yes.”

“Right. Cool. Uh.” He snorted derisively at himself and charged on. “Look, I don’t know what I’m doin’. I’m a college dropout from the backwoods that don’ even know half of the shit goin’ on in this world and they had the godsdamned idea to put me in charge. I don’ got the head for this. I need help.”

The mage regarded him quietly, long enough for Damon to want to go bury himself in that weird hole in the ground over there. “You want my help in leading the Inquisition because you feel inadequate for the task?” His tone was unreadable.

Damon winced. “Kinda but, like. An advisor sort of deal? I’ve thought about it, an’ you got the experience, the ability to tell me to shut up or whatever without anyone knowin’ what you said, and you... You know the extent of what I don’ know. You know I don’ know nothin’ about this world and that I’m swinging blind.” He ran a hand over his face, feeling the stress clinging to his bones. “I’m just an out of place dumbass with a bad temper tryin’ to do his best, but I am smart enough to know I need help and to ask for it.”

“I believe you might not be as unintelligent as you claim.” Solas murmured. 

Damon gave him a startled glance, unsure if he had heard him right or even if it was insulting or not, but the mage continued talking.

“So you wish me to act as your advisor? Unofficially?” 

Damon shook his head and scratched at his wrist. “Officially. If you’d agree, I’d want you in the important meetings and shit.”

Solas seemed startled, then narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “Did Emma put this idea in your mind? You know that will raise… concerns?”

He frowned. “Why would she do that? I mean, she didn’t say anythin’ to me. I jus’ connected some dots myse’f. As for the concerns…“ Damon leveled a look at him. “Cuz you’re a mage? I’ve made it pretty clear I’m good with mages. Cuz you’re elvhen? I’ve literally broken a man’s face for bein’ a shit about elves and I would again. Cuz the council might question why I’d appoint you? You got that handy Fade walkin’ thing. I did try an’ think this through before askin’ you.”

Solas frowned at the ground thoughtfully. “The Nightingale and the Commander would not be fooled into believing my military knowledge would come by simply watching battles in the Fade.”

“Wouldn’t believe that watching thousands of battles fought over thousands of years an’ studyin’ them wouldn’t give you a bit of knowledge?” Damon shrugged. “I’d believe it. Hell, half the shit I know comes from watchin’ movies.”

Solas chuckled and shook his head. “The Commander has a deep rooted mistrust of magic and all things related to the Fade. The Nightingale’s stance is unclear. And as we have established, you and Emma are extremely rare individuals.”

“Like I said, it’s only if you’d agree. I think I can talk ‘em ‘round, but it’s up to you.”

Solas nodded thoughtfully. “I will have to think on it.”

It wasn’t an outright ‘no’ so Damon would take it. “Take the time you need. Thanks for even considerin’ it.” 

Solas inclined his head and stood “I will inform you of my decision.” 

Damon watched him leave and absently gnawed on the cheese. He really hoped that he agreed, he really was out of his depth here. Well, enough worrying about that. He’d find out later if he’d have help or not. He shoved the last of the food into his mouth and stood, brushing crumbs off his pants. He still had work to do before the sun went down. 

 

 

Emma wore the sling Damon had made for Gealathe so she could keep her hands free as she helped Dorian sort through a crate of books. Apparently there had been crates full of old books already there, left by the previous tenants. They’d been at it for a while. Some of them were too badly damaged by mildew, time, and little creatures to be readable but most were still in good condition. Dorian was like a kid in a candy store every time he found an old tome that the Chantry apparently had banned for either its views on magic or its accounts of Andraste's Exalted March that didn't match up to their beliefs. 

“Look at this one.” He said excitedly, pressing the open book in her face. “This one claims Shartan was her lover.” His face split into a grin. “Oh, this would definitely be burned the moment a Chantry mother discovered it.”

Emma shook her head and chuckled. “I know you're Andrastian, Dorian.” She chided playfully. 

Dorian shushed her and looked around. “Please, Emma, I have a reputation to maintain.” Emma laughed and placed yet another poor book that didn't survive onto the refuse pile. 

A throat being cleared drew both of their attentions to the stairwell, where a nervous looking Blackwall stood. “Lady Herald, I have something for-” he cut himself off then tried to smile. “It may be best if I show you.” He gestured for her to follow before heading back down the stairs.

Dorian raise a quizzical eyebrow and Emma gave him a ‘I don't know’ look before following the burly warrior down the stairs. It surprised her when he turned into the rotunda door instead of the main hall. When she rounded the corner she let out a little gasp at the sight of a hand carved crib. 

“I thought you might need one for the little one.” Blackwall said quietly as he gestured to it.

It wasn't elaborate but it was perfect. “Thank you!” Emma quickly hugged Blackwall who stiffened but laughed anyway. “It's perfect!”

She let him go and ran her hands over the crib excitedly. A real crib! Made by Blackwall! She looked back up at Blackwall with a happy grin. “Would you help me move it to my room? It’s a lot of steps.”

He nodded, looking slightly uncomfortable as he moved to pick it up for her. “Of course, my lady.”

She led him down the stairway and hall to her room. He hesitated when she opened her door, but followed her in and set the crib where she indicated.

“Thank you so much!” 

“It was no trouble. I am glad that you approve of it.” He bowed and beat a hasty retreat. 

She kicked at the door to close it and set about arranging Gaelathe’s blankets into the crib. It was nearing his nap time. When he started to fuss she started singing softly as she worked. 

“I love the part in fairy tales, that's very near the end, when all the kingdom cheers for this new queen; and all is well and all is good and everyone belongs, and happily they're ever-aftering.”

“But when I enter the kingdom of dreams and face the promise of all I can be, will they see me as a heroine? Tell me, will they let me in?”

Gaelathe snuggled against her chest and she smiled as she continued one of her favorite songs.

“I love the hour the seasons change, and winter turns to spring, and empty branches welcome newborn leaves. The earth makes room for every flower that reaches for the sun; we're glad you've come’ is whispered on the breeze. But when I enter the spring of my dreams just like a wildflower that burst on the scene, will I find my place with a gentle wind? Tell me, will they let me in?”

Gaelathe’s eyes started drooping, blinking softly in that beautiful baby way.

“And if a heart's breaking, a part of me's aching to show them how much that I care. But if no one lets me or turns and forgets me, then how, how can I share?  
“There is a part of fairy tales that's very near the end; the princess and the prince proclaim their love, and hearts are healed and souls are changed and two blend into one, all orchestrated by the stars above.”

She finished arranging the crib and blankets and smoothed a thumb over Gaelathe’s forehead.

“But when I stand at the door of my dreams and face a lonely heart calling for me, I could fill that emptiness within, if that heart would let me in. Won't someone let me in?”

She let the final note trail off and looked fondly down at Gaelathe, who was now sound asleep in his sling. He really was such an easy baby. She turned to get back up the stairs to work and had to clamp a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming when she found Solas standing in her doorway, watching her with a peculiar expression.

“Solas! You scared me!” She whispered, laughing a little at the absurdity of them both ending up in the other’s room and scaring each other in one day. Though his had been a little more dramatic.

“Forgive me, your door was ajar and I heard…” He paused. “You have a beautiful voice.”

She blushed and looked away. She hated singing in front of people. “Thanks. Dad got me lessons when I was little.”

“That song, it is both hopeful and sad.” He glanced at her with that odd expression again. “A song of the beauty in the world, and then a plea to be part of it.” 

Oh. “I hadn't thought of it like that. I always heard it as wanting love like in the fairy tales.”

“Both could be true.”

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” 

Solas shook his head with a slight smile. “The two of you know the most pointed songs, words aimed straight at the heart’s deepest fears and only disguised in the barest of metaphor. Your world must be…” He sighed with what she thought was a wistful tone. “Must be something to behold if it produces such unflinching songs.”

She couldn’t help a quiet laugh. “You’re just hearing the ones Damon and I know well enough to have memorized. There are millions of songs of all different kinds from all different kinds of people. A few hundred years ago we only had songs like the ones here. This world might still be writing their own songs. It’s still young.” 

He hummed noncommittally, but looked thoughtful. 

She frowned at him curiously. “Why’d you come down here? Did you need something?”

He folded his hands behind his back. “I have been paying more attention to the- to Gaelathe recently. Noticing him more. A few minutes ago I sensed him.”

She glanced down at Gaelathe. “Sensed him?”

“When you sang, his aura flared. He is a mage.” He looked at her intently, searching for something. “His magic will most likely manifest in a few years. I felt it was important to warn you.”

Emma hugged Gaelathe to her, feeling the sudden need to protect him from everything. “Oh. Good thing the Circles aren’t established anymore or I’d have to fight the world.” She chewed on her lip. “Is there anything I need to do? To help him, I mean? Obviously keep him away from Viv and the last of the Templars, but like, to help him grow into his magic safely?”

Solas’ gaze fell to her mouth and she immediately released her lip from her teeth. He looked back to her eyes.

“You continue to surprise me, Emma’falon.” He said quietly. “Your… simple acceptance of his magic will help as he grows. He is well protected for now, so rest easy.”

She let out a relieved breath. “I’ll need to tell Damon.”

Solas stepped in closer and looked down at Gaelathe. “How do you think he will react?”

She shrugged. “Probably the same way I did. He’s really supportive of mages. Isn’t scared of them.”

“It is one thing to support a cause and another when it affects you directly.”

“Not for him. He’s… he’s an all or nothing kind of guy.”

“Ah.” He reached out hesitantly and gently touched Gaelathe’s head, resting his hand against the soft baby hair. “He is surprisingly hard to read for how honestly he presents himself.” 

“Honest doesn’t mean open.” She smiled sadly. “You can keep things close to your chest without lying.”

His eyes snapped up to her and he pulled his hand away from Gaelathe. “Indeed.” He straightened his shoulders and placed his hands behind his back. “He asked me to serve as an advisor.”

She furrowed her brow in confusion. “Why would- Oh! That’s what he’s been thinking about so hard. I knew he was putting something together in his head.” 

Solas eyed her intently. “You did not give him the idea?”

She shook her head. “No. I wouldn’t put you on the spot like that. I know how-” She cut herself off and winced. 

“You know my need for secrecy.” He gave a tight smile. “Damon seems to understand as well but simply in a different form. He presented arguments in his own… informal and self deprecating manner, not only as to why he considered it, but also as to how he would go about keeping my secret.”

She nodded thoughtfully. Damon had always been better than her at thinking things all the way through. Unless he was upset. “What do you think about it?”

He frowned. “I’ll admit, the thought of being in the thick of things is tempting. To see firsthand the decisions and motivations that will shake the world being made...” He shook his head, disbelieving. “And then to not only be able to witness but be allowed to guide? Damon places a great deal of trust in me and I do not understand why.” 

Emma didn’t know how to answer that. She was slowly coming to the realization that she didn’t understand Damon as well as she thought she had. 

Solas watched her through her silence before sighing softly. “Is this… one of those events you know the outcome of?”

She shook her head. “No, this is something completely new.”

He compressed his lips thoughtfully. “Very well. I will have to think on it more.” He held out his hand and offered a smile. “Come, it is nearing supper. We should not miss it.”

She took his hand automatically and let him lead her out of her room. This time she made sure the door shut all the way behind her.

 

 

Blood and sharpness, the neverending silence broken only by sparks of pain, the feeling of drowning on air so thick you felt you were floating. Damon woke, or did he? He could barely tell anymore. He was blank, no mark to remind him, no symbol of success. He was alone and drowning again, guilt and faulty memory clutching at him with barbed claws. He shuddered and rolled out of his bedroll, grabbing his wrist and whimpering when it remained stubbornly blank. Had he ever succeeded? Or was he just riding a bad high? 

He gritted his teeth and grabbed the dagger he kept by his head. He needed to fix this, needed to remind himself. He was fine. He was good. He had made it. He had promised.  
His hands were shaking badly but he kept going. He needed his promise back. The tip of the knife was razor sharp, honed by night after night of sleepless sharpening, and it split the skin easily. Too easily. He tried to get the lines right, make them how he remembered, but his hands spasmed when he shuddered and it went too deep. 

“Shit.” That much blood wasn’t good at all. He felt around until he found his crafting bag and pulled out the first scrap of cloth he felt and pressed it against his wrist. He watched the blood seeping out, mentally calculating if he needed help or not. 

He did.

He chewed his lip as he thought over his options. He didn’t want anyone to see his latest fuck up, but someone was gonna have to help him. And there weren’t that many healers to choose from here, and only one he’d let see him like this. He sighed and stumbled to his feet, keeping the rag tight against his wrist as he headed for the door.  
It was late and the castle was as silent as a place full of hundreds of people could be. He hoped Emma was asleep…

He managed to get through the Rotunda and down the stairs without leaving a trail of blood, so he let himself be proud of that. Let himself focus on that and not that he was about to show off a horribly embarrassing mistake.

He glanced up the hallway to Emma’s door and sent up a mental prayer that she was out cold and walked to Solas’ door; she couldn’t see him like this. He gritted his teeth and knocked quickly and sharply, immediately moving his hand back to put pressure on his wrist when the blood welled up and started running down his forearm. 

“C’mon.” He whispered with a glance at the door behind him. He made himself count to thirty before knocking again, a little louder.

Another thirty seconds passed and he cursed under his breath and kicked the door, hard. It was loud and he held his breath nervously. 

He was just about to say ‘fuck it’ and go ahead and try and just go in, the bleeding was bad enough he’d risk walking into some magical trap or whatever at this point, when the door opened and Solas peered out at him.

"Hey, uh, I kinda need some help?" Damon shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, clutching the rag to his wrist and feeling like a first class idiot. 

Solas frowned at him, but opened the door further and stepped back so he could go in. "What is it?"

"I... kinda messed up my arm." Damon stepped in and motioned with his wrist, but didn't remove the rag, which was steadily turning red.

Solas closed the door behind them softly and waved a hand, lighting up the candles scattered about. "What happened?"

He... really didn't want to explain so he just moved the rag away to reveal the crude cuts on his inner wrist, keeping the rag underneath so the blood didn't drip on the floor. He knew what it looked like. The cuts were too clean and there were too many of them to be an accident. Solas made a noise in the back of his throat and touched his wrist with glowing fingers, his brow furrowed as the skin stitched back together till not even a scar remained. 

Damon ran a thumb across the bloody but smooth skin of his inner wrist and frowned, feeling lost. "Thanks. I’m sorry for both’rin’ you."

Damon turned to leave, to get away, but Solas caught his elbow. “Damon.”

His voice was too quiet, too gentle. Damon couldn’t look at him. Instead he smoothed his thumb over his blank inner wrist and kept his eyes on the wall.

"Did you-"

Damon shook his head. "Wasn’t… Wasn't like that.”

“Can… you give me assurance this will not happen again?” 

Damon finally looked at Solas. He looked pale and had that blank expression that meant he was upset. “Not… not if I’m honest with you. I’ll probably keep trying till I get it right.” He snorted. “This is just what happens when you try to fix something in the middle of the night with shaky hands.”

“What- What could possibly be fixed by cutting into your own flesh?” 

Damon’s shoulders hunched. He didn’t want to talk about this. It was a mistake, he knew it, but… The dream… “My ink is gone. Paint rubs off, pen don’t show. I…” He trailed off, helpless to finish the sentence. It wasn’t something he’d ever said aloud. “I need my ink back, keeps my head straight, but I… so I was trying to get it to scar up. But…”

“You were trying to replicate your tattoos.” Solas finished thoughtfully, as if things were now starting to make sense. “But your hands were shaking.” 

Damon nodded and looked away. It was embarrassing. He hadn’t… hadn’t meant to...

“I’ll get it right next time. It won’t-”

Solas cut him off. “You will do no such thing!” His voice was sharper than Damon had ever heard before. “You cannot simply injure yourself to fix the problem. Draw what your tattoo looked like and bring it to me.” Solas went to his pack and pulled out a small vial that Damon recognized as the dreamless potion he had given him all those months ago. “For now, take this and you will not be bothered by dreams, your head will be clear when you wake.” 

Despite knowing what it was, Damon flinched a little when he held it towards him. 

Solas saw his reaction and smiled sadly. “You do not have to take it. But I give you my word, what happened before will never happen again.”

Damon had to consider it for a little bit before he took it, had to fight his instinct to refuse with the rational part of him that said he couldn’t keep going on like this. He… he didn’t know if he could actually take it when it came down to it, but at least it’d be there. “Thanks.” He took the vial, and if Solas noticed his hands were shaking still, he didn’t say anything about it. ”Do- do you really think you can get my ink back?” He asked quietly, desperately.

Solas looked him in the eye. “Yes. I am sure of it.”

Damon grabbed onto that flash of hope with both metaphorical hands. He felt his spine relax in relief. “Thank you. I- Just. Thank you.” He shook himself. Even if he didn’t take the potion he could still work on drawing his ink out. “I’m gonna… I’m gonna go back now. I… I’m sorry.” He hesitated. “Could… could you not say anythin’ to Emma about this? I don’t want her to… worry.”

There was a long pause as Solas studied him. Finally the mage nodded. “Very well. I will not bring the subject up with her.”

He gave him a weak but grateful smile and moved to leave again. This time Solas let him go.


	32. Chapter 32

Something was wrong with Damon. She felt guilty about it, but it was Solas that made her notice. This morning at breakfast she noticed that Solas seemed a bit… withdrawn. His expression was carefully controlled, but he kept glancing over at Damon with his blank ‘I’m upset but don’t want to show it’ face. The third time he did it she watched Damon to see if she could figure out why. 

Damon was bent over a pile of papers across the table from them, pen in his mouth as he flipped through the stack, Gaelathe propped in the crook of his elbow with an expertly balanced bottle to nurse from. Nothing abnormal there. Yet… his eyes were red and he had none of his normal energy. He was a little thinner than he had been a few weeks ago and she made a mental note to be more aggressive about getting him food. She frowned. He looked like he hadn’t been sleeping or eating, and now Solas was watching him like something had happened. She quietly nudged Solas with her elbow and signed below the table where Damon couldn’t see. 

“What’s wrong with Damon?”

Solas hesitated, his hands opening like he would sign back, but then he closed his fists and shook his head. He knew but couldn’t tell her.

She glanced at Damon’s full plate and leaned over the table, picking it up and setting it directly on top of his papers.

“Em!” He let the pen drop out of his mouth and into his hand and glared at her. “I was busy.”

She pinched her fingers closed and put them to her lips and glared right back. His jaw set like he was getting ready to fight her on it, but then his eyes flicked to Solas and he deflated.

“Fine.” He picked up his spoon and started shovelling food into his mouth methodically. 

Something had happened, something that had Solas worried and Damon not wanting to worry him. Damon presented his empty plate to her with an eye roll and shoved it aside to go back to his papers. She frowned and opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, but Solas touched her elbow and shook his head. She closed her mouth and sat back unhappily. This wasn’t right. 

Damon frowned at a paper and glanced up at her. “You need a tower to yourself for the day?”

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s important.” Josephine must have passed her request on to him officially.

He glanced between the two of them for a moment and her face turned red. “Not- No!” She switched to sign language when he smirked. “We need to do some magic stuff to help someone.”

“Sure. Sure.” He grinned when Solas gave him a sharp look, but scribbled something onto the paper. “Yeah, okay.” He shoved the paper across the table to her. “Just show it to Leliana and she’ll make sure the area is clear for you.” He pinned the paper to the table with his fingers when she tried to take it and wiggled his eyebrows. “Stay safe.” 

She wished she had the ability to set him on fire with her eyes right now. Solas didn’t seem to get what the phrase meant and simply nodded. “We will be perfectly safe.”

Damon snickered and finally let her snatch the paper away. “Good. Jus’ be outta there before lunch. We’re planning on scouting out the place to plan out some stuff I got in mind this afternoon.”

He gathered up his papers with one hand and stood, leaning backwards a bit so Gaelathe’s bottle stayed balanced against his chest. She never had managed to learn that trick. “I gots things to do, catch y’all later.”

Emma watched him leave and worried her lip with her teeth. He was in a brighter mood than a few minutes ago, but she was still concerned. At least he had eaten…

Solas touched her elbow again to get her attention. “If we are to be finished before lunch we should speak to the Nightingale soon.”

“Is he gonna be okay? You don’t have to tell me what happened, just if you think he’ll be okay.” She asked quietly as she stacked her empty plate on top of Damon’s.

When he didn’t answer right away she looked at his face, searching it for answers. He seemed thoughtful. “I believe so. In time.”

She chewed her lip worriedly as she watched Damon leave the dining hall. “Did I do the right thing? Letting them make him Inquisitor? Do you think it was too much to put on him?”

Solas was quiet for a few seconds before answering with a careful question of his own. “Are you asking because you believe there was a better option or because you worry for your friend?”

Emma twisted her hands together in her lap. “He’s been leading since day one and he's done an amazing job but now that it's official… I guess I’m worried he’ll burn himself out trying to take care of everyone.” She glanced over at Solas who was watching her carefully. “Does that make sense?” 

Solas nodded. “Yes it does. You worry for his health. Not that he would fail.”

“Yeah. He’ll… he’ll be amazing. Already is. But… “She gave him a helpless glance. “He looks rough and…”

Solas surprised her by laying a hand on top of hers and squeezing them, halting her anxious fidgeting. “When he is ready, I believe he will speak to you about what troubles him.” He straightened in his seat and smiled. “Until then, just remind him that you are there.”

She nodded and gave him a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

“No thanks are needed.” He said as he stood and collected their plates. “I will deposit these, then we may speak with the Nightingale about the use of a tower.”

Emma nodded. “Sounds good.”

After Solas returned, he motioned for her to lead the way. They left the dining hall and took the closest route to get to Leliana's perch at the top of the library. On the way, Emma was pleased to see that Josephine had had a desk placed in the center of the Rotunda floor. She nudged Solas and pointed as they passed, earning a chuckle from him. 

“I may have mentioned my preference for the room to the ambassador.” He confessed as they climbed the stairs.

They passed Dorian on their way through the future library. He was still going through books and had apparently commandeered the plushiest and most comfortable looking chair she’d ever seen in Skyhold and had set himself up a little cubby to work in. 

“Emma, my fellow heretic! We must put these ones under lock and key for their own protection.” He called out to her, gesturing to the stack of books beside him.

Emma laughed and Solas raised a brow at the other mage.

“Take them to your room until we can get the vault repaired.” She suggested as she passed, waving goodbye.

“An excellent idea!” Dorian called after her before aiming a comment at Solas. “Tan and green again? Don’t you have any other colors in your wardrobe, Solas?”

Solas shot Emma a glare when she giggled but ignored Dorian and kept walking. Once they were out of earshot, Solas shook his head. “My choice of attire amuses you?”

Emma laughed. “Oh, don't be too upset. That's just Dorian. I happen to like earth tones.” She clamped her mouth shut as she realized how she just sounded and felt her face heat.

“Ah..” Solas smirked. “Well as long as you approve...” A few steps more and Solas suddenly looked up the stairs with a narrow look that she was beginning to associate with Cullen being around. When they rounded the last of the steps and reached the top floor of the Rotunda, Emma could hear Cullen’s voice, sounding low and urgent.

“-dangerous!” Cullen looked like he was arguing with Leliana. “I’ve seen too many go wrong.”

“If the Inquisitor gives his personal permission, we are to keep the area clear. I had Josephine send the request to him for this very reason.” Leliana somehow found the line between sharp and soft. They both turned when she and Solas walked in.

His hands moved to his sword hilt and his mouth opened, but Emma spoke up before he could say something. 

“I have this.” She walked over to Leliana and held out the paper Damon had given her.

Leliana took it and scanned it before giving her a slight smile. “There you have it, Commander. The Inquisitor gave his personal permission.”

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck and turned beseeching eyes onto Emma. “Lady Emma, being near… magics such as this is simply too dangerous.”

Solas’ spine straightened and he folded his hands behind his back, his expression somehow both disdainful and controlled. 

Emma shook her head and gave Cullen a reassuring smile. “It’s perfectly safe. We’ll be fine.”

“But-”

“Cullen, Solas is a very skilled mage. I trust him and Damon does too.” She reached out and touched his arm, wishing he’d relax. She understood his fear of magic, but they had to do this. She saw Solas glance at her hand sharply and remembered what he had said about her and Templars. She didn’t think Cullen counted anymore, but pulled her hand back anyway. 

“I simply fear for your safety. I do not think this is a good idea.”

“I appreciate your concern, but it’s safer here than outside of Skyhold by ourselves.”

Cullen started. “You wouldn’t-” He sighed and looked away. “You would. Very well, Lady Emma. I will be nearby... in case...“ He gave Solas a hard look. “Anything goes awry.” 

Solas inclined his head, somehow polite and still disapproving. “Your concern for her wellbeing is admirable, Commander. I can assure you that if it was not perfectly safe, I would not allow Emma to be present.”

Cullen looked like he had just sucked a sour lemon but still looked at Emma. “If anything- If you have need, call. I will hear you.”

Emma was starting to get tired of everyone's overprotectiveness but still gave Cullen a smile. “Thank you, I’ll remember that.”

She gave both him and Leliana a wave goodbye and snagged Solas’ hand, dragging him back down the stairs. She looked back to see Solas smirking slightly. “What’s that look for?”

“I am simply amused.” When she raised an eyebrow he chuckled. “You faced down both the Spymaster and the Commander without so much as shaking. You are becoming more confident with yourself.”

Emma shook her head at him. “In my defense, until recently Leliana hated me.”

“Unlikely.” Solas laughed. “She was merely intimidated by the knowledge you have of her.” 

They made it to the bottom of the Rotunda and exited the door that led straight to the stairs to the battlements. They were immediately hit by a biting cold wind when they reached the top and were past the protective shield of the walls. Emma shivered but ran to the edge of the battlements, grabbing onto the stone and leaning over excitedly. This had always been her favorite spot to jump down to the courtyard in the game. It was so far up and so beautiful! She grinned wistfully. 

“Man, I wish I could jump.” 

“Pala!” Solas’ hands suddenly grabbed her around the waist and pulled her away from the edge with enough force for her to lose her balance and fall back against him. His fingers dug into her arms as he bodily turned her to face him. “Why would you wish that?” He looked pale, like she had just terrified him.

He thought- “No! Nonononono, not like that!” She shook her head frantically, then looked around to make sure they were alone before explaining. “In… in your story, I couldn’t be hurt in Skyhold, I could jump from anywhere and not get hurt. This was my favorite way to get down to the courtyard quickly. I wouldn’t actually jump now!”

He searched her face for a moment before his eyes closed in relief and his fingers loosened on her arms. “The pair of you are… distressing at times.” 

She huffed a laugh. “In the story, I’d jump from the top of the Rotunda and land on your desk. Every single time I had to go up to talk to Leli: Plop. ‘Hi, Solas!’.” 

He stared at her in confusion before shaking his head and moving his hands so he was holding her elbow like usual. “That sounds… amusing.” He started back towards the tower.

“Stairs are only for going up.” 

“That is impractical. You can go down stairs as well as up.”

“Not always.”

He gave her a curious look and she elaborated.

“We have moving stairways called escalators. One goes up and one goes down. You just stand on them and they take you up or down. If you try to walk down the up one, you’ll just stay walking in place.”

He blinked in surprise and shook his head as he opened the door to the tower. “The things your world has thought of.”

“Give Damon enough time and motivation and he’d figure out how to make them here.” She laughed. 

He frowned at her. “He said he was a bookkeeper?”

Her smile faded at the reminder. “He was gonna be a mechanical engineer but he dropped out of college halfway through and never went back.”

“Why?” He shook his head. “Nevermind, I should not have asked.”

“I’d tell you if I knew, but I don’t know. He’s never told me. I tried to get him to go back, he’s too smart not to, but he keeps saying he ‘doesn’t have the head for it’ like he can’t draft and modify a microscope from memory and was getting perfect grades until… he suddenly wasn’t.” She looked down at her feet. She’d wondered over and over and had tried to get him to talk to her, to explain, but she still didn’t know all these years later.

“Was this when you left him behind?” Solas asked softly.

Her eyes snapped to him in shock. “How did you-?” She stopped, Damon had most likely said something. “Yeah. I got a scholarship at a college across the country. Two weeks after, well… Aunt Gemma passed and Uncle Chase a few days later.” She blew out a breath and leaned against the wall of the empty tower. “I had just gotten off a plane in Belize when I got the call. It was the chance of a lifetime, to work under one of the top anthropologists in the world.”

Solas didn’t comment, just stood there, quietly listening. Not judging. She pushed off the wall. “I missed the funeral, for both of them. I wouldn’t have been able to get a flight back in time. I thought he was angry at me; he never called. Several months later I got a call in the middle of the night... He… he was drunk. Begged me to come home. I just…” she shook her head and fought the tears that started to fall. “I just couldn’t. Mom and Dad were gone, Aunt Gemma too and…” she shook her head again and felt Solas’ hand on her shoulder.

“You do not have to tell me this.” His voice was gentle and quiet.

Emma nodded. “I know, I just-” she couldn’t stop the sob that broke free from the lump in her throat. Solas slowly wrapped his arms around her and turned her so that she could tuck her head into his chest. How many years had she carried the guilt of missing the funerals? Not even being there for the people who had given her everything when she had nothing? Not being there to help Damon bury his parents?

She didn’t know how long they stood there but when her tears ran out she realized she had completely soaked the front of his shirt. She pulled away, mumbling an embarrassed, “I'm sorry,” as she scrubbed at her eyes. She knew she was an ugly crier, her eyes were probably red and puffy now.

Solas gave her a sad smile. “Tel’abelas.” Don’t be sorry.

She inhaled deeply and smoothed her hair back, forcing herself to get her emotions back under control. “I- We probably need to get busy if we’re going to be out of here in time.”

He looked over her a moment before straightening his shoulders and nodding. ”Ma nuvenin.”

Her chest ached at those words but she shook it off and blew out another breath. “So, what do we need to do?”

Solas motioned her to stay next to the wall as he moved to the center of the room.

 

 

Damon rolled his shoulders as he walked out of Josephine’s office area. She had agreed to watch Gaelathe until Emma could take back over and his arms were thanking him. Little guy wasn’t that big, but holding your arm in one position for hours was tiring and Emma had the sling somewhere. He opened the door to the main hall and almost ran right into a stressed looking Cullen.

“Whoah, wha’s wrong?”

The Commander stepped back and pressed his fist over his chest. “Forgive me. I was just- The tower where the apos- Lady Emma and Ser Solas are-” He looked a bit panicked. “The tower has been glowing for some time and I am growing concerned, but your orders are to stay clear. So I-”

Damon held up a hand and interrupted him. “Is there anything actually going wrong? Or is it just taking longer than you expected?”

Cullen gripped the hilt of his sword with one hand and shook his head in frustration, the other hand going to rub the back of his neck. “She doesn't understand the dangers… Solas is a apostate that we have no real knowledge of.” 

“Commander.” Damon felt like his tone was a bit sharp but he was getting a little tired of Thedas’ attitude towards mages. “Solas is our friend. He has proven himself time and time again to be capable and protective of us. As for the ‘dangers of magic’, The Herald is probably more aware of the dangers of anything in this place than anyone else. She’s Seen more than your history books tell or will ever tell.” 

Cullen squeezed his eyes closed and deflated slightly. “You.. you are right.” He turned away slightly and sighed. “She just… seems too trusting. I worry for her.”

Damon smiled sympathetically. “I get it, but you gotta remember: she knows almost everyone’s secrets already. It’s easy to trust when you already know the worst and best.”

Cullen grimaced at that. “I forget she knows most of us better than we know ourselves.” His voice sounded resigned as he spoke.

Damon clapped a reassuring hand to his shoulder. “She’ll be fine. Keep an eye on the tower if it makes you feel better, but Solas ‘s got her.” 

Cullen nodded. “He loves her.” It wasn’t a question.

Damon hesitated, it was true but he wasn’t sure how it was appropriate to respond. The dance Emma and Solas were doing was still fragile. “She’s easy to love.” He said quietly.

The laugh that escaped Cullen's lips sounded close to bitter. “Yes.”

Ah… That’s what this was about. Emma must have done something, probably unintentionally, that made it clear who she preferred. “I know it don’t help much when it isn’t the way you want it to be, but she does care about you.”

“You are right, it does not help much.” Cullen suddenly stood straight and saluted. “Ser.” With that he turned on his heel and marched away.

Damon rubbed his eyes and hoped that didn’t come back to bite anyone. Curiosity got the better of him and he headed for the doors of the main hall, stepping out long enough to look up at the tower Emma was in. It was indeed glowing, but a steady glow that didn’t seem maelovent at all. Kinda peaceful if you stared at it, actually. Satisfied, he tore his gaze away from the light and set off to find Leliana. Cass had brought some stuff to his attention and he felt it was about time for another meeting to make sure they were all on the same page. 

He found Leliana ‘not lurking’ near the stairway to the tower, though by the way her eyes scanned the pathways instead of the tower he’d bet her concern was more for Cullen than Emma and Solas. He set up the meeting for later that day and headed back to his room. With the main people who needed his attention distracted he could actually maybe go through the stack of letters and papers Josephine kept handing him.

No one stopped him on his way back to his room and he settled in at the desk Josephine had rustled up and pulled the first pile of papers towards him. Down to business then.

He was trying to decipher some noble’s (or was it a merchant?) penmanship when he heard the door to his room swing open and light footsteps clattering up the stairs. He looked up from the letter as a beaming Emma swung into his room followed closely by a more controlled but pleased looking Solas. 

“We did it! She’s safe!” Emma bounced in place happily.

Who was safe? “That’s great!”

“She was so beautiful! I could hear her!” She unconsciously rubbed her chest and Damon noted Solas’ odd glance at that gesture. “Thank you so much for clearing the tower!”

“Yes, thank you for allowing us the space and opportunity to perform our ‘dangerous magics’.” Solas was hiding a smirk as he tipped his head in a slight bow.

Damon laughed and Emma rolled her eyes. Dude was a bit snarky when he wasn’t trying to hide. “S’all good. I’m glad it went well.”

Emma bounced again and looked around. “Where’s Gaelathe? I wanna hug him.”

“Josephine offered to watch him while I got stuff done. She’s in her office.”

Emma ran over and hugged him and he barely managed to return the hug before she was dashing towards the stairs. Damon chuckled at her exuberance. Whoever they had been protecting with that magic had made Emma really happy. 

Weirdly enough, Solas didn’t follow her, instead stepping closer to his desk and folding his hands behind his back. 

“Is it common for the two of you to barge into each other’s quarters without knocking?” Solas sounded curious, but Damon would bet this wasn’t why he stayed behind.

“Yeah. We grew up together, shared a room for a bit growin’ up too. We have a system for when we don’ want the other to come in. After that, we even had keys to the other’s places so we could let ourselves in whenever.”

Solas hummed as if he had just figured something out. “That makes sense then.”

“Yeah. So, what’d’ya need?”

Solas eyed him for a moment before answering. “The people in this castle speak louder than they realize. On the way here I heard of both Emma’s and your own defense of me.” 

“That fast? Huh.” Skyhold really was coming together if they already had an efficient gossip chain.

Solas gave him a slight smile. “That fast. Maybe you should refrain from having discussions in the middle of the main hall if you do not wish the whole castle to know of it.”

He shrugged. He didn’t mind the whole castle knowing his stance on mages and Solas. He hoped that the private bit about Cullen and Emma hadn’t gotten around though… 

Solas continued. “I have given your request a great deal of consideration.” He made a wry face. “I will admit that the pieces of gossip I caught on the way here did help solidify my decision.”

“Which is?” Damon made himself keep breathing regularly. Now was when he found out if he’d have help or not.

“I accept.”

Damon couldn’t help a small fist pump. “Fuck yes! Thank you! Awesome timing too cuz there’s a meeting in the war room this evening.”

Solas shook his head and laughed. “I take it you wish me to attend?”

“Yeah. It’s nothing that should be like, big or anything, but that makes it better to get them used to you bein’ there.” 

He nodded. “I have to return some things to my room first but I will meet you there after.”

“Awesome. Thank you, really.”

Solas turned to go but Damon quickly opened a drawer and grabbed at the sketch he’d been working on last night. “Wait, you said to get this for you.” He smoothed out the paper and held it towards Solas nervously.

Solas took the paper carefully and looked down at it before turning his gaze to Damon. “A millennia ago the elves would use magic to place tattoos… they were… mostly used on slaves to mark and bind. But it is possible to place a tattoo without the bindings, so that it is a mark and nothing else.” Solas gave him a small smile. “I know how to do this, but it will essentially be magic branded into your skin. You should know this before you decide if you do wish to follow through with this.”

Damon chewed over that for a moment. “It’s not gonna be, like, against your morals or anythin’ to put a mark on me that you associate with slaves, is it?”

Solas frowned before answering. “In your case, no. The mark would be tied to you and you alone, I would hold no influence over you.”

Made sense. Damon let himself think over it again before replying. “I think I’m good with it.”

Solas nodded. “I can apply it whenever you choose. Just be prepared for backlash. The mark will not look like just a tattoo. It will have a sheen and it will be obviously magically created.”

Damon huffed a wry laugh. “Will it get Emma, you, or me burned as Maleficars? Cuz if not, I don’t give a fuck what people think about my personal dealings with magic. I can stick a cuff o’er it for formal shit jus’ like I did on earth.”

Solas inclined his head and ran his fingers over the sketch in his hands. “You truly trust me to do this for you?”

Damon chewed on his lip before answering. “Firs’ time I heard your name, I walked into Emma’s house and found her cryin’ over the console. She turned it off so I didn’t get spoilers, but you broke her heart somehow. But here we are, and she trusts you, even knowin’ all she does. So… As for me, you- Yeah. I trust you to do this.”

Solas seemed troubled by that. “She never told you what I did to cause her pain?”

Damon shook his head. And that right there was why he wasn’t really worried. Solas wouldn’t knowingly do shit to upset Em. “Jus’ said ‘goddamn Solas’ and started cryin’ again. I remember because she don’ swear much.” He frowned. “But… she’s… this ain’t her game. Nothing is inevitable.”

Solas looked down at the sketch again. “This has a special meaning for you?” 

Damon knew he was changing the subject and decided to allow him that. The dude needed to get his head straight about Emma. He could understand that. “Yeah. A lot. Almond flowers for a promise, Celendine for joys to come, my mom’s name: Valerie-Keen, courage and wisdom. It’s… it’s a promise to stay strong until the good finally shows up.” 

Solas glanced up at him. “I thought her name was Gemma.”

“Nickname. Thought Valerie-Keen was too proper. S’what the diamond in the middle of her legal name is for, everyone called her Gemma to the point that most people thought that was her real name. Emma was named after her. Our moms grew up together like Em an’ I did.”

Solas gave him a small smile. “We may do it now or later if you wish. It will only take a few moments.”

“Really?” Damon was startled. It had taken three hours for his first one. “As much as I would love to do it now, we should probably leave the ‘dangerous magics’ mark until after I announce you’re gonna be in the war room from now on.”

Solas chuckled at his sarcasm. “Yes, I dare say the commander would assume I somehow influenced your decision.”

Damon ran a hand over his face and huffed a laugh. “‘Xactly. Would… would tonight, after the meetin’, be okay?”

Solas nodded. “I will meet you here if you wish it. It would be best to be done in private.”

“Yeah, that’d work. Thank you. Really, I can’t tell you how- jus’... thank you.” Damon felt his stomach unclench as it sank in that he really was going to get some of his ink back. The most important one. 

 

 

Varric had stopped her on her way to Josie’s, asking about the tower and what she and Chuckles had gotten into. Apparently Cullen had been out there watching the tower anxiously almost the entire time. She felt bad for worrying him, she really did, but there nothing she could do about it now.

When she was finally able to escape the dwarf, she headed for her original objective. Her heart felt light and she couldn't help the grin on her face. She had done it! Saved Wisdom from her fate! ‘Banal nadas’ indeed! Emma’s smile faded when she walked into Josie’s office and saw that Gaelathe wasn’t in her arms or laying anywhere near. “Josie, where’s Gaelathe?” 

The ambassador smiled brightly. “Oh! Lady Vivienne wanted to order a wardrobe for him and took him with her to be fitted. It really is-”

“Vivienne?” Emma could feel the blood drain from her face.

“Yes. Are you all right?” Josephine looked at her with concern. 

Emma nodded weakly and turned on her heel, dashing out of her office without taking the second to say goodbye. Nononononono Vivienne couldn’t be around Gaelathe, he was a mage and she’d- nonono What was she going to do? She couldn’t fight- Damon! She grabbed Damon’s arm as he walked past absently.

He frowned at her. “What’s wrong-”

“Vivienne has Gaelathe!” She whispered frantically.

“I know?” He drew the word out like he didn’t quite understand.

“Gaelathe is a mage!” She hissed. Emma could feel that she was probably hurting him with her grip, but she needed him to understand the danger. They might try to take him away.

His eyes widened. “Fuck.” He turned on his heel and walked briskly off, leaving Emma to scurry after him.

He went into one of the towers and went up the stairs three at a time, counting audibly until he stopped at a door and knocked. Emma was panting by the time she caught up with him. 

The door opened and a very poised Vivienne greeted them. “My dears! How can I help you?”

“I heard that you already were.” Damon gave a smile that looked perfect, but Emma could see it was fake. Why was he so calm? “Lady Josephine informed me that you were generous enough to offer your own tailors to make him some clothing.”

Vivienne graced him with a pleased smile and dismissive hand movement. Emma had to physically restrain herself to keep from pushing past her. “Think nothing of it, darling. He is much too beautiful a baby to be dressed in rags.”

“And we are very grateful for your gift. If it is not too much trouble, could we sit in and watch?” Damon tilted his head in a slight bow.

Oh. He was being diplomatic, avoiding a scene. Emma pasted a polite smile onto her face and opted to stay quiet. Her heart was still pounding too frantically for her voice to not sound strained. 

“Of course! Please, come in.” Vivienne moved to allow them into the room.

“Thank you.” Damon hooked his hand in the crook of Emma’s elbow and very gently dragged her inside. 

The room was lit by a massive window that had somehow survived time and there were many dress forms and baskets of ribbons and threads and shelves of fabrics. On a table near the window an exasperated woman was trying to wrap a length of string with evenly spaced knots around Gaelathe’s flailing arms. He looked fine, excited by the attention in fact. Emma let out a breath of relief and sat in the seat Damon nudged her towards. She could vaguely hear Vivienne and Damon talking, could vaguely notice that Damon hadn’t slipped into his natural accent once, but the majority of her attention was on Gaelathe and how to get him away without making Viv suspicious. 

The tailor eventually managed to get the measurements that she wanted and wrapped Gaelathe back into his blanket. She moved as if to return him to Vivienne, but Damon smoothly intercepted her and took him with a polite introduction. The woman looked flustered as she craned her head back to look at him as she answered. 

“Lady Emma?”

Emma blinked and looked at Vivienne. It sounded like she might have been trying to talk to her for a bit. “I’m sorry, yes?”

“Are you alright, my dear? You seem a bit distracted.”

She opened her mouth to answer, but closed it again when she realized she didn’t know what to say. A large hand rested on her shoulder and she looked up at Damon, who was looking down on her with fake concern. 

“Did you See something?” He murmured, but loud enough for the others in the room to hear.

Vivienne looked at her in interest and Emma realized what Damon was doing. Viv hadn’t been around her enough to know how the ‘Seeing’ worked. He was throwing her an opportunity to see a secret to excuse Emma’s distraction. 

She nodded and gave him a weak smile. “Nothing that can’t wait until later. I don’t want to cut our visit short.” Did that sound okay?

“Are you sure? I’m sure Lady Vivienne would forgive us if we had to get you to your room to rest.” Damon sounded so poised. It was weird.

“Of course, please don’t strain yourself on my account. We can have another chat at a later time.” Vivienne stood and offered her hand, squeezing her fingers lightly when she accepted it. “You must rest. I can find you when you feel better and discuss designs with you.”

“Thank you, Lady Vivienne. Until a later time.” Damon bowed to her and offered his free arm to Emma. She grabbed onto it and gave Vivienne another smile as Damon practically carried her and Gaelathe out of the room and down the stairs. He didn’t pause until they were through the Rotunda and into the stairs to her room and the door was shut firmly behind them. He leaned against the door and thumped his horns back against it.

“How’d I do?” His accent was back.

“Better than I would have.” She gave him a ghost of a laugh. “You sounded so proper I didn’t recognize you.” 

He ran a hand over his face and snorted. “Tha’s the point.” He carefully slipped Gaelathe into her arms so she could hug him as they walked down the stairs. He peered down at the smiling baby over her shoulder. “So the little guy’s got magic? How’d’ya know?”

“I sensed him.” Solas’ voice startled both of them and they looked up to find Solas standing in front of his room door as if he had just exited. “He is a mage.” 

Emma glanced up at Damon, wondering if he’d react like she thought he would.

“Well, shit.” 

She saw Solas frown out of the corner of her eye, but Damon kept going, obviously thinking out loud.

“So we gotta keep him away from ‘let the Templars control all mages’ Vivienne and whatever Templars we got running around here. I know the Circles aren’t up anymore but I don’ trust it.”

Emma felt a tension she hadn’t realized she was carrying slip away. Solas also looked like he relaxed minutely. Damon frowned and glanced between the two of them.

“So what do we gotta do to take care of him? I’m assumin’ he’s gonna need trainin’ an’ stuff when he gets older but like, do we need to do anythin’ while he’s still a half-pint? The Templar party line is that demons are a danger to mages, is that somethin’ we actually gotta deal with to protect him?”

Solas smiled wryly. “He is well protected from demons. In fact, I would wager that other mages would not be able to sense his magic at all.”

Emma frowned at him. He’d said something like that before. “How is he protected? We haven’t done any wards or anything.”

“Your will. The moment you discovered he was a mage, your will moved to shield him.” He shook his head, slightly smiling. “No demon can touch him, and I have seen no evidence that the other mages in Skyhold can even sense him.”

Emma hugged Gaelathe and booped his nose absently. She was rewarded with a gummy grin. She had done that? Was it like how she had blocked off her dreams? 

“So he’s safe for now?” Damon bounced on the balls of his feet nervously, but at Solas’ nod he deflated in relief. Only to fist pump a moment later and crowd in to press playful kisses to Gaelathe’s forehead. “Oh my gods, our kid is magical! That is so freakin’ cool! He’s gonna be so badass! Harry Potter ain’t got nothing on you, kid!”

Emma laughed, both at Damon’s exuberance and Solas’ startled expression. Damon laughed as well when he saw Solas’ face. “S’a story ‘bout a boy who finds out he’s a wizard.”

“I would like to hear it some time.” Solas looked expectantly at Emma, who shook her head frantically.

“Oh no! I'm not going through seven books.” She protested.

Damon grinned mischievously. “If seven books is too much, but Princess Bride isn’t, then you shouldn’t have trouble telling him Ever After.” 

Emma glared at him. “I doubt he wants to hear another cheesy romance, Damon!”

“How’s that library scene go?” Damon pressed a dramatic fist to his heart. She had made him sit through that movie so many times he could probably quote it word for word. ‘In all my years of study, not one tutor ever demonstrated the passion you have shown me in the last two days. You have more conviction in one memory than I have... in my entire being.’” She opened her mouth but he continued. “Or that other one...‘If you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners corrupted from infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded, sire, but that you first make thieves and then punish them?’”

He grinned triumphantly when Solas looked at her curiously. “That does actually sound like a story I would be interested in hearing.”

Emma shook her head in defeat but then looked up at Damon, pointing a threatening finger at him. “I will get you back!”

Damon gave her a mock serious look. “Em, you can’t get me back for payback.”

“Watch me!”

 

 

Damon took a second to brace himself before opening the door to the war room. This wasn’t going to be pleasant. The second he went through the door, Leliana looked up and opened her mouth to speak, she was always straight down to business, but she stopped as her eyes fell on Solas walking in behind him.

Emma was already there and was chatting with Josie about something he didn’t catch because the moment she saw Solas enter with him, she smiled brightly. How the two hadn’t figured it out already was beyond him.

Cullen looked up from a folder he was holding, his eyes narrowing slightly before he looked back down at the report. His other hand went to grip the hilt of his sword like it was a lifeline. Yeah. Definitely wasn’t going to be pleasant. Maybe not as loud as he’d expected if Cullen wasn’t putting up a fuss already, but definitely tense at minimum. 

Josie, for her part, looked unruffled and graced them both with a wide smile. “Damon. Ser Solas, it’s a pleasure to see you again.”

Damon nodded a greeting and moved to his normal spot at the table, Solas drifting in his wake, stepping into the role of humble apostate once again. Which felt weird now that he knew the guy to be honest. “Evening.” He gave Josie an extra smile just because she was awesome and she like Solas. “I had Solas join us for this meeting because I had an idea I wanted to get your vote on.” 

He paused and looked around the council to give himself a second to get his thoughts straight. ““We have a Spymaster, a Commander, and an Ambassador… I was hoping to add an Arcane Advisor to that list.” He gestured to Solas. “I’ve spoken to Solas. His expertise in ancient magics and the Fade not only saved Emma’s life but also has helped us countless of times in the past. He’s agreed to help us but I would like to get all of your opinions before I make a final decision.” 

Emma was practically bouncing on her feet with a grin on her face but she didn’t look all that surprised. Apparently Solas had already told her he’d been asked but not his decision. “I think that’s a great idea!”

Josie nodded and scribbled something on her clipboard. “It is not a bad idea. Many courts have a position of Arcane Adviser. It would do much for our standing and, as you have said, his expertise has been invaluable.” She gave Solas a sweet smile that made Damon love her all the more. “Ser Solas would be a welcome addition.”

Leliana hummed in acknowledgment. “Yes, it has.” She reached over the table and picked up a paper. Damon wasn’t sure what it was about but the motion made her seem disinterested. This woman was good. “I am not opposed to the idea. No offense meant to Ser Solas, but I wonder if you’ve thought of the backlash we may receive for choosing an apostate over a circle mage? Lady Vivienne may see it as a personal slight. After all she was arcane adviser to Empress Celine for many years.”

Damon gave her a level look before diving right into that mess. No time like the present to start letting people know his stance on Circles. “I have thought of it, and I am willing to face whatever backlash I need to.” He took a deep breath. “The Circles are no more and that’s perfectly fine with me. People should never be locked away for how they were born. I refuse to support ripping families apart because the kid is different. If you’re worried about uncontrolled magic,.” He glanced at Cullen, who had a white knuckled grip on his sword but an impassive face. “Then teach them. Don’t lock them up.” He shrugged. “That’s my official stance on that.” 

Emma startled everyone by whooping, then flushing red as everyone looked at her. Damon shook his head and chuckled. He knew how she felt about Circles, even more now with Gaelathe at risk, and making it official probably had made her day.

The smile Leliana gave him looked pleased and he knew he had just passed whatever test. “You have my support, Inquisitor.” She cast a quick glance at Emma before adding. “Vivienne has her talents and is a master in the art of the Game but the woman is… trying to say the least.” 

Damon stifled an agreeing snicker behind his hand and looked at Cullen. “Commander?”

Cullen shifted his stance and straightened his shoulders. He frowned at the table in thought and Damon wondered what he might say. After their talk earlier that day he hadn’t struck him as someone who’d stand in the way of other people’s happiness or let his personal feelings make him petty. Seemed a solid dude, but now’s when he’d find out for sure he guessed.

“Everyone here has a point.” He said slowly as if he were still searching for the right words. “Solas is a skilled mage and has shown his support many times over… as a former Templar, my judgement in these matters may be compromised at times. However, I see the advantages of having his counsel. We have come across many magics lately that I have… never seen the like.” Cullen looked up from the table and gave Solas a nod. “The Inquisitor and The Herald trust your judgement and your expertise is appreciated.”

Damon let out a relieved breath and moved a bit to the side to make it obvious that Solas was to be right at the table with the rest of them. That had… actually gone a lot easier than he’d expected. He clapped Solas on the shoulder, startling the mage slightly, though he hid it pretty well, and grinned. “Welcome to the party.”

Josie hid a giggle behind her hand and Leliana cleared her throat to get their attention. “Damon, Cassandra sent a note to my office this morning with a request to hunt down some rogue Templars and apostates that the Seekers had been searching for before their disappearance. With the Envy demon that had impersonated the Lord Seeker, she seems anxious to find out what really happened to him.”

Damon nodded. “She talked me about it as well. I think it is worth looking into.” He very purposefully didn’t look directly at Emma, who was chewing her lip in thought. “Skyhold is still being repaired and won’t be ready to accept dignitaries for another month or two. So it would not strain the Inquisition overly if I accompanied Cassandra in her search. It would also give me the opportunity to see what needs to be done for the people and hopefully build up support with the common folk. If we have their support it could sway the nobility for fear of revolt.”

Josie nodded enthusiastically and Cullen hummed in agreement. “It would also bolster our forces if you could inspire some of them to join our cause.”

Emma asked Josie for some paper and snagged a quill and ink from a side table and began scribbling thoughtfully as he kept going.

“The Herald could stay at Skyhold to help keep the Council apprised of any Seeings that might occur while I’m gone.” At that Emma straightened, her mouth falling open in protest before he cut her off with a low blow, but a sure method to win his way. “How much time do you think Felix has?”

Emma’s mouth snapped shut before she looked down at her hands. “I don’t know.” He voice was quiet. “It didn’t…” she stopped herself from speaking more.

“Then you need to get your lab set up quickly.” He said quietly and turned to Leliana. “When did you say this Dagna was supposed to get here?”

Leliana’s eyes narrowed as she looked between them. “The last raven I received said she was in the Hinterlands, she should be arriving any day now.”

“I gave Em some designs for machines she will need for her research. She says that Dagna should be able to build them.” 

Leliana inclined her head and smiled. “Yes, Dagna is very enthusiastic when it come to creating new things. She is the best arcanist I know of.”

Emma frowned, looking confused. “But-” she chewed her lip as she tried to think of something. “What about rifts? You can’t close them without me.”

To his surprise, he didn’t have to come up with a answer for that. 

“If I may?” Solas spoke up. “Damon and the Seeker could mark the locations of the rifts they come across, it will give the Commander the intelligence he needs to make sure the surrounding areas are safe and we will not be surprised by them. We can strategize which ones must be closed first without causing you fatigue.”

Damon was so, so glad Solas had agreed to be here. Dude had probably already guessed his need for space right now. “He’s right. And I don’t want a repeat of the last time you closed too many rifts at once.” He said softly.

Emma looked down at the table, clearly not liking it but also knowing that she couldn’t argue their point. “Just… just make sure you keep us updated, okay?” She looked up at him. “And be careful.”

“Of course.” He gave her a smile and crossed his heart playfully. “Cross my heart, hope to die, I promise not to actually die.” 

That got a chuckle out of her. “Better not! Or I’ll find a way to bring you back that way I can kill you myself.” Her grin was playful but Cullen shifted a little uncomfortably at the statement.

He laughed and bowed slightly at her. “I will make sure you don’t have to.”

She shook her head at him and bent to finish writing on her scrap of paper, before asking. “So, who do you plan to take? Obviously Cass.”

“Yeah. Cass, but I was thinking also Bull, Dorian, and Sera. Normally I’d want Solas with me, but he needs to keep you out of trouble and we need to keep the group small so we can move fast.” He glanced around the table at the councillors, nonverbally asking their opinion.

Cullen nodded. “Three warriors, mage support, and a rogue. It is a good combatant group if you run into trouble.” 

Leliana nodded her approval. “I’ll make sure ravens are ready and available for you to bring with you. Cassandra knows how to keep them close without the use of cages. They will not hinder your progress.”

Emma finally finished what she was working on and passed it to him. “Here.” He looked down and saw it was a list of names and locations, almost exact locations, with the footnote that all were hostile.

He never stopped being impressed by how much time she had spent memorizing this world. “Thank you.” He passed the list to Leliana, whose eyebrows rose in surprise but started copying it down onto another piece of paper.

“This information will cut down the time it would take immensely,” she looked up at Damon. “I’ll have my scouts find the fastest route to them for you.” 

“Thanks.” He smiled at gratefully at her and looked around the table. “Is there anything else we need to address?”

Leliana straightened. “There is one other matter that Emma brought to my attention and requested.” She looked over at Emma, who looked back at her in surprise. “I’ve contacted an old friend of mine, he believes he may have found a lead and is following it for me. You may know of him. Zevran Arainai.” 

Emma let out a happy squeak and covered her mouth with her hands excitedly, practically vibrating with happiness. “Yes! I know him!”


	33. Chapter 33

It was early when he decided to leave, still pre-dawn. A misty fog draped over Skyhold, leaving the air with a soft and damp feel until the sun had a chance to rise and chase it away. Emma shivered as she stood in the courtyard to see them off. Damon had just led MoFo out of the stables, followed closely by Cass, Bull, Dorian, and Sera. Cass and Bull didn’t look phased by the early morning activity, but Dorian and Sera looked… Dorian would probably be indignant if he heard her say it out loud, but they looked grumpy. Getting up early didn’t seem to be their favorite thing. 

Damon had that twitchy energy that he got after pulling all nighters and Emma worried her lip. He still wasn’t sleeping then and she hoped that he managed to rest better on the road. He bounced a bit on his toes and grinned at her when he neared her.

“Hey, Emti! Morning’s just like home, right?”

She looked around them, it did kinda remind her of the backwoods in Virginia before the sun was fully up. “Yeah.” She mumbled and looked back up at him. “Are you certain you need to go today? Maybe tomorrow would be better?”

He shook his head and hooked his arm around her in a half hug. “Sooner I leave, the sooner I get back.”

She buried her face into his midsection, making him have to hold her fully. She didn’t like this. Didn’t like how he looked. Didn’t like that he was leaving her behind. She knew he was, that he had made sure she couldn’t find a reason to go with him. “Just be careful, ‘Kay?”

His voice rumbled in his chest by her ear. “Kay. I’ll be careful. I promise.” His hands gripped her shoulders as he pulled her back to look her in the face. “You do the impossible while I’m gone, kay?”

She nodded and started to say something snarky back when a flash of color caught her eye. There on the inner side of his wrist was a tattoo, not just any tattoo, but the first one he’d ever gotten. Her hand went to it automatically, fingers touching the silver lettering. He didn’t shy away but she could feel his arms tense.

There was no redness or small scabs from a needle. It was smooth and had a sheen that almost made it glow against the pitch black of his skin. “Damon, where-” she didn’t finish the sentence but simply ran a finger over the delicate lines of her aunt’s name and the flowers. They were so detailed, almost as if they were freshly plucked from the earth and planted on his wrist.

He gave her a smile loaded with an emotion she couldn’t name but didn’t answer her half question. Instead he squeezed her shoulders and quickly mounted MoFo. “We’ll be back in a month if Leliana’s scouts are right.”

Cass guided Prince to stand next to Damon and gave Emma a curt nod. It was way more than she’d expected from her. 

“Make sure he remembers to eat, please?” She hugged her own waist anxiously.

Cass’ expression softened slightly and she nodded her agreement. Damon snorted. “Pair of mother hens.”

Emma glared at him. “I’ll stop pecking at you when you stop forgetting to eat until you pass out.”

He raised his hands in surrender and Cassandra shot a concerned glance at him. “You’ve truly forgotten so long?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah. Just… take care of him.” 

Cass inclined her head seriously. “I will.”

Damon shook his head at them and looked back at the others who had mounted up behind them. The other horse big enough to carry Bull’s bulk besides MoFo was a bay draft horse Emma was certain they’d had to buy off of a farmer. Dorian’s mount was a sleek red roan, what the breed’s name was here she didn’t know, and Sera’s mount made her want to giggle. The paint that she already knew was a Dalish All-breed would probably make the elf have a fit if she knew it was more ‘elfy’ than her. But as it was, Sera was slumped in her saddle, hugging the gelding’s neck and mumbling something about ‘stupid morning people’.

Damon seemed satisfied and tossed Emma a wave as he guided MoFo towards the gates. Emma watched as the group slowly disappeared, the mist wrapping around them until they were nothing more than shadows.

“He hurts less.”

Emma jumped at the voice and turned to find Cole standing behind her. She gave him a small smile. “Hey, Cole.” She said softly, turning back to look at the gates even though there was nothing left there to see.

“Hello.” He moved to stand next to her. “He has his promise back. Simple ink but more. Mother’s love, father’s warning, tying him to be real. It helps.” His head cocked to one side, the overly large hat making the gesture a mix of comical and innocent. “Left and lonely. Everything is different, strange, alone and hidden. Together the pain is less, apart it gnaws and grows. Chest hurts, hands sweat. Friends but more.”

Emma thought hard, trying to decipher his rambling. She knew that Damon’s tattoo for his mom was important to him and that they were more than friends, they were family, but… she looked over to ask what he meant but the boy had disappeared again.

She sighed and looked up at the sky, the sun was starting to rise and she could see a bit of light cutting through the fog. On impulse, she decided that she hadn’t watched a sunrise in far too long and headed for the nearest stairs that lead to the battlements.

She found a perch among the parapets and sat on them, hanging her feet over the wall and swinging them in the air as she waited for the sun to rise above the line of mountains breaking up the horizon. Her heels started tapping a rhythm against the stone as golden light spilled through the mist. 

“For someone who claims they would not jump, you tend to place yourself in many precarious situations.”

Emma looked over at Solas and put a hand onto the parapets to show she was holding on. “Best way to see the sunrise is from up high. There used to be an old tree in the woods where I grew up, bigger than all the rest. I used to climb to the very top and hang on to the branches to wait for the sun.” She patted the stone next to her in invitation to join her. “Once, for my birthday, Damon took me to the ocean. It was completely flat for miles, but we climbed to the top of a lighthouse and watched the sun come up over the water.”

Solas hesitated but moved to sit beside her, keeping his legs on the wall instead of hanging them over the edge like she did. “Cole came to my room. He told me you were here.” 

Emma gave him an apologetic smile. “Cole’s a sweetheart. I’m sorry if he woke you.”

Solas shook his head. “I had intended to see them off this morning but there were... matters I had to tend to.”

She smiled mischievously and lowered her voice so only he could hear. “Agents not doing their jobs?”

Solas started, then relaxed and chuckled. He waved his hand and she felt a dome of energy settle over them. When he spoke his voice was a normal volume, confirming in her mind that it was a silencing spell so they could speak without worry of being heard. “Of course you would know about that.” He looked out over the mountains. “I asked a friend to go to one of the old temples still standing, one yet untouched by this world. It is my hope that its library still stands and that it might hold some answers as to what is blocking your ability to draw from the Fade.”

Emma felt that empty spot inside her more vividly now that she was reminded of it again. It was a strange thing, she never noticed it before. Maybe it was a side effect of being in Thedas for so long. Did Damon feel anything different? When Solas had done the ritual for Wisdom she had felt it so acutely that it had almost been painful. She never saw the spirit but could feel it’s presence pressing against that empty spot, not trying to enter but simply to express gratitude. 

Solas had explained that he hadn’t drawn Wisdom fully across the Veil, just far enough to bind her to the amulet and send her back safely without fear of corruption.

“Are you alright?” Solas’ voice pulled her from her thoughts and she realized that she had her hand pressed to her chest again. As if trying to soothe the ache. She seemed to be doing that more often now without realizing.

“Yeah.” She dropped her hand to rest on the stone between them. At his side glance she rolled her eyes. “I was just remembering… how it felt.”

Solas gave her a look of understanding and rested a hand over hers, pressing it gently. “I won’t give up until I've exhausted every possible avenue, Emma’falon.” She looked up to find him smiling gently at her. “To see you… the magic laying dormant within you released to its full potential.” He shook his head looking almost wistfully. “Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to do this for you.”

Her chest now ached for a much different reason: the sincerity in his voice nearly broke her resolve. He sat barely a foot away. How easy it would be to just lean over- she stopped the thought and looked away. Who was she kidding? She could never… he was helping a friend, nothing more. A Friend.

“Thank you.” She whispered, not trusting her voice to not shake if she spoke any louder.

Solas gave her a concerned look, but movement in the courtyard caught his attention. He stood and held out a hand to her. “Come, Skyhold is waking and the first bit of the morning meal should be ready.” She hesitated but took his hand as he helped her from her perch. “If I remember correctly, the ambassador said something about sweetmeats this morning. Apparently, she was able to procure a ham.” He was obviously trying to cure her of her sudden melancholy.

“That sounds great.” She squeezed his hand and gave him a smile. “Damon will be sorry he missed that.”

 

 

 

It was good to be back out on the road. Damon liked being outdoors and the weather was beautiful as they trotted down the path. Dorian and Sera were slowly perking up as they trailed behind and Bull was riding a bit ahead and talking with the scout Leliana had assigned to travel with them. They’d meet up with the rest that had traveled ahead later. Cass was riding next to him and he could tell by the way she kept frowning at him that she had a question.

“Wassup, Cass?” He nudged MoFo to walk a bit closer to Prince. 

“You…” She sighed. “I believe you are not as well as you pretend.”

He winced but didn’t reply. If she’d noticed, she’d noticed. 

“But you and Emma appear to be back to normal.” 

It wasn’t quite a question so he didn’t answer.

“I have learned a tactic from watching Emma in her dealings with you. I believe it is called ‘pestering’.” She gave him a sly smile.

He rolled his eyes. “Give me an actual question and I might give you an actual answer.”

“Are you alright?”

“No. But I will be.” He twisted the reins through his fingers and looked ahead.

She gave him a sharp look but he could tell it was concerned. “Will you?”

He shrugged. “I’ve gotten through shit before. Jus’ takes time.” He gave her a playful grin. “I’ll just pretend a little better until I ain’t pretendin’ anymore.”

“And that works for you?”

“Yeah. Mostly.”

“Thus the sudden willingness to leave her behind?”

He gave Cass a sharp glance but her mouth was set. She wasn’t going to drop this. It felt a bit weird to be noticed like this. “Fine. Yes, I’m avoiding her for a little bit. I finish dealing with my shit,” He saw her open her mouth and held up a hand to stop her. “Yes, by which I mean avoid the hell out of it until I pretty much just forget, then I get back, we get back to normal. Everything’s good.”

“That seems…” She frowned. 

“Unhealthy? Like I’m avoiding the problem instead of dealing with it?” He snorted wryly. “I know. S’what I’m best at. Can’t bother you if you don’t think about it.”

She shook her head. “Very well. But… I am here if you change your mind.”

“Thanks, Cass. ‘Preciate it.” He hesitated. “An’... thanks for noticin’. I’m not real used to people seeing past the off color jokes and shit.”

She huffed. “It takes some skill.”

And care. He gave her a soft smile. “Yeah. Now let’s move on and let me forget about shit.”

Cass nodded but he doubted that this was the end of that conversation. “Very well.”

Bull turned in his saddle and looked back at them. “So when you guys stop flirting back there, you think you can update us on where we’re going?”

“Now now, let the love birds be.” Dorian piped up cheerfully. “They don’t have much time for flirting, let them have their moment. It's much easier to watch than our resident hobo apostate and our Herald do their dance.”

Damon flipped him off with a grin, but didn’t bother denying the flirting. He wasn’t, not really, but whatever. “He’s not a hobo, he’s a hipster. And it’s to the Hinterlands. Again. Em says he’ll be near the forest camp Harding’s people are staying at.”

Dorian’s eyebrows rose. “Hipster?” He tried the word out in his mouth before nodded. “Ah yes, I think hipster has a certain ring to it.”

“Wots a hipster?” Sera asked, eating an apple stuck on an arrow for some reason.

“A hipster is someone who likes things ‘before they were cool’, kinda guy who likes old stuff and obscure knowledge.”

“Sounds about right.” Bull nodded and grinned, turning back in his saddle. 

Damon wasn't sure what he was so happy about, but whatever. He glanced back at Cass and made sure he didn’t laugh out loud when he saw she was blushing. She’d probably smack him if he did.

“Why did you bring Dorian instead of Solas?” She wasn’t looking directly at him, her ears still red. “Solas actually has manners.”

Damon huffed. “One, cuz Em would probably figure out how to teleport to us if I took Solas away from ‘er. Two,” He leaned closer and lowered his voice, smiling internally at the way Dorian’s eyebrows rose. “I have a gut feeling Dorian’s got a crush on someone and I think a month on the road with him will make things happen.” 

Cass looked back and forth between Bull and Dorian dubiously. “Truly? All they do is fight.”

“S’called flyting. S’when you flirt by fighting. There’s actually a proper form where you insult each other in rhyme.”

She shook her head. “That sounds ridiculous.” She laughed then looked over at him, her brow furrowed in thought. “And Emma and Solas? You truly believe that they are-” she looked like she couldn't find the words. “I have seen a few looks but she seems…”

He chuckled and shrugged. “Emma’s had her eye on him since before they met, but has it in her head he ain’t into her. She’s…. Blind like that. Solas is obviously head over heels but I dunno if he knows it yet. Or if he does know it, might not know that it goes both ways.” He paused and shrugged. “He’s worried about losin’ her. Won’ push it.” 

“So he would love her from afar instead of risking it?” Her voice had a strange tone to it.

“Yeah. Better to love at arm’s length than not at all.” He shook his head. “Personally, I don’ get that. I’ll risk it an’ ask, an’ if they say no, back off and then love ‘em from arm’s length.” 

Cass cut her eyes at him. “Truly?” He voice sounded a tad disbelieving but still held a playful quality.

He looked at her and smiled softly. “I’ve only had a few real crushes. I talk a big game with one nighter’s, but I get all shy an’ shit with crushes. Takes me ages to actually get around to askin’ them. But I do. Eventually.”

She shook her head smiling. “I cannot picture you as shy.”

He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “Really? I’ve been told I’m downright bashful.”

At that she snorted, causing them both to start laughing. It was nice. He felt like the weight of Skyhold was finally off his chest. Even though he now had the fancy title of Inquisitor, Cass still treated him like… well him

After they rode for a bit, Cass turned to him. “Now that Varric is not here I have to ask, how much did you bet?”

He sucked in a breath through his teeth. “Three sovereigns. They just gotta hold off two more months for me to win.”

Cass hummed, “That is a long shot, she was wearing his shirt two days ago in the dining hall.”

“Why, Cassandra! Are you gossiping?” He pulled a shocked face.

She flushed and punched his arm sharply. “No! Just making an observation of your poor betting judgment.”

He laughed. “Well, if we’re gossiping, the day she had Solas’ shirt he looked like he wanted to chase Cullen off. He wouldn’t be worried about that if things were settled.”

She scowled at him. “She was wearing his clothing! In public!”

“Cass, you should know by now Em an’ I run by different rules.” He rolled his eyes. As if barging into tents and inviting people into rooms wasn’t obvious enough. Oh, and apparently hair touching was a Thing here that he hadn’t known about!

She shook her head in exasperation but a smile lingered on her face. After awhile it faded into something more serious. “Cullen told you of his withdrawals? Maybe it is best that Emma had not noticed his interest.”

He flinched but tried to cover it up with a shrug. “He told me.” He rubbed a thumb over his ink, letting it settle him. “She knows about him quittin’. Saw it. S’why she’s so gentle with him, I think. I- I dunno if that makes any diff’rence. She’d already decided before meeting either of ‘em I think.”

Cass nodded thoughtfully. “She treats everyone as if she cares deeply for them. It…. it is easy to see how it could be misinterpreted as something else.”

“Yeah, and the other way around. How her crushin’ could be explained away with how much she cares about everyone. ‘Specially after that big misunderstandin’ ‘bout her an’ me.” He gave her an impish grin and touched his nose.

Cass bristled a bit. “That was- everyone thought it! It wasn't just me! You two were-” she made a frustrated sound. “I've never seen a relationship such as yours.”

“‘S rare. I’ll give you that. Even back home where everyone knew us, people’d ask us when the weddin’ was. Got to the point once where we pretended we had eloped to stop the jokes. Di’n’t work.” He shuddered. The teasing had somehow gotten worse when people thought they were married.

Cass smiled softly. “You two have been friends longer than I had realized.”

“Since the womb. Our ma’s actually moved in t’gether for a while after Em was born so when I came along they’d jus’ put us in the same crib to save space.” 

Cass smiled, but it was a sad kind as if remembering something painful. He glanced at her. “Somethin’ wrong?”

She shook her head and straightened in her saddle. “No. Just… reminded me of something.”

“Sorry.”

She waved his apology away. “Don't be.” She then smiled. “Tell me, do you have anymore stories like the one Emma shared?”

“I’ve got plans to get Em to tell another one. One of the best love stories. I don’ wanna spoil it for you.” Her face fell and he couldn’t stand to see her disappointed. “Hey, if you want, you can borrow my copy of Swords and Shields. It’s so terrible it’s awesome.”

Her eyes got round as saucers. “You read Swords and Shields?”


	34. Chapter 34

Damon had been gone three days and Emma was doing her best not to mope about it. There wasn’t much she could do until Dagna arrived, but she might as well go talk to Felix, see how he was doing and explain what she wanted to do. She was sure Dorian had mentioned it to him, but she still needed to talk to him herself. She tucked Gaelathe into the soft, two handled basket she’d been using to tote him around when she didn’t feel like using the sling, put the bag with his things in it over her shoulder, and left her room. 

She was grumbling under her breath when she reached the top of the stairs. There were simply too many stairs in this place. They needed elevators. She finally made it to the rotunda and burst through the door with a relieved breath. Ducking steps. 

Solas was at his desk, looking at her with an amused expression. “If I had known of your dislike of stairs I may have suggested a different room.”

She stuck out her tongue at him, earning a head shake and a chuckle from him. Was it her imagination or did he laugh more in reality then he did in the game? Wait. Something was different. Her eyes flicked over him for a second before she realized he had shaved the sides of his head, leaving the top part with it’s two months of progress. She grinned happily. It looked like he might be growing it out to how it had apparently used to be.

He looked like he was hiding a smile. “What has caught your attention?”

“You.” She turned red as she realized how that sounded and his hidden smile turned into a full one. “No, I mean, you- your hair is different. I noticed. It’s good, I like it… I'mgoingtoshutupnow.”

“I am glad it pleases you. So what has you braving the stairs this morning?” He asked as he rose from his desk, sketch pad in hand. 

Emma shrugged, happy for the subject change. “I can't really do any research until Dagna can build me a microscope and she’s not here so I thought I might check on Felix? See how he’s doing maybe ask him for blood samples.” She fidgeted with the handles of the basket. “Could you… I don't know, put a preservation spell on them for me if he agrees. Like you did with the darkspawn blood?”

Solas nodded. “If that is what you need.” He moved to stand next to the first section of empty wall she knew would be a depiction of the conclave. She noticed the faint lines of charcoal already outlining the scene. 

She couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. “When did you outline it?”

Solas glanced up at her from his sketch pad, then back at the wall, before laughing. “I could not sleep last night and the wall begged to be painted before someone hung a hideous tapestry over it.” He cocked his head at her. “I'm attempting to tell the story of the Inquisition through them, however, I only have a few designs I am happy with.”

“The Conclave, Inquisition, Mages allied, Haven, Adamant, Halamshiral, Mythal’s temple, and I never got to see the last one finished.” She said absently as she looked over the walls. It was going to be so much more impressive to see them in person. 

Solas looked at her in shock before he flicked his wrist and the dome he had used when they had been on the battlements fell over them. “You shouldn't say things like that where people can hear, Emma’falon.”

“What? The paintings?” She gave him a confused look.

Solas sighed and walked over to where she stood, taking Gaelathe's basket from her arms before leading her to his desk and placing the basket atop it. He turned and gripped her shoulders, his eyes willing her to understand. “Emma, listen to me, there could be spies for Corypheus here. If he discovered you know of the future… of his plans... Your knowledge would be useless if he changed his tactics.”

“Oh.” She blinked, then shook her head with a wry laugh. “Thank goodness Damon was here to be Inquisitor instead of me. Mom always said I had too many facts in my head and didn’t have enough room left for sense.” Her mind suddenly flooded with memories of her mom. 

She hadn't realized her smile had faded until Solas’ hands fell from her shoulders. He picked up both of her hands in his, leaning back to sit on his desk as he focused on her marked hand. “You miss them.” He said quietly as he turned over her marked hand and soothing healing magic poured into it.

She gave him a weak smile and nodded. “I'll always miss them. It took me a long time to realize that moving on and healing didn't mean that I had to forget about them.”

Solas hummed as he finished healing her hand. Then looked over at Gaelathe, who was laying flat in the basket and playing with his feet. Solas smiled down at him and then looked back at Emma. “Why not leave Gaelathe with me while you check on the Tevinter?” When she gave him a surprised look he chuckled. “There are many stairs in Skyhold, Emma'falon. Are you sure you wish to carry a child up all you come across?”

Emma chewed her lip in thought. “What if he gets hungry?”

Solas huffed a laugh and grabbed the strap to Gaelathe's bag and slipped it off her shoulder. “I believe I am capable enough to warm the goats milk and feed a child.”

“What if he… you know… needs to be changed?” She had a hard time picturing Solas changing a nappy.

“I am sure I can figure it out.” He assured her, still smiling.

She considered it anxiously. On one hand, she really didn’t actually want to have to lug a baby over however many flights of stairs it took to find Felix, on the other hand… she was nervous about leaving him behind, especially without Damon here to run interference with Viv. She glanced at Solas, who was watching her expectantly, and made up her mind. He’d be safe with him. He’d be fine. And Solas babysitting was a weird but nice image in her brain.

“Okay. Thank you.” She took a step towards the door but hesitated, what if-

“Emma.” Solas sounded fondly exasperated. “We will be fine.” 

She huffed and left to find Felix. She really did need to go ahead and get those samples ready. She wanted to be set to start researching right way when Dagna got the microscope ready. Maybe she could get samples from Fiona and Leliana while she was at it. Wait, if she was getting samples she needed vials. She detoured to the underforge first. Leliana and Josephine had people setting it up to act as research and crafting areas for both her and Dagna. She went to the little area in the corner set aside for her official research lab and grabbed a padded carry bag with empty glass vials and the tools she’d need to collect the samples. Now she could find Felix.

It took a while and a lot of asking around, and way too many sets of stairs, but she finally found him near the stables where they had modified one of the stalls to act as a temporary prison until the dungeons were fixed. Skyhold had too many projects that took priority over fixing the dungeon for only one prisoner. He was sitting in a chair, talking to his father through the bars, but he immediately stood when he saw her, steadying himself with a hand on the back of the chair. “Lady Herald.” 

She frowned in concern. She really hoped Dagna got here soon enough to find a cure. He didn’t look well and this far along, she doubted he’d survive the joining. “Ser Felix. Please sit back down, you don’t look so good.”

He hesitated but complied. Alexius leaned against the bars with a sneer. She noticed lightly glowing runes carved into the metal. Probably to negate his magic or something. They felt… achy if she focused on them.

“Finally bored enough to come gloat?”

She rolled her eyes and ignored him. Damon would probably have to deal with him when he got back. She stepped a bit closer so she could keep her voice low, Solas’ warning about spies still fresh in her mind. “I- did Dorian tell you about what I want to do?”

Felix nodded warily. “He said you wanted to search for a cure.”

Alexius gave her a skeptical look. “If our best scholars in Tevinter can not find a cure, what makes you think an upstart from the Anderfells can?” 

“Father!” Felix's tone sounded exhausted as he shook his head and she could tell that he really didn't have the energy to debate his father. 

She gave him a narrow look but turned her attention back to Felix. Fighting with him wasn’t going to help anything. “I have some experience with studying diseases. I can’t really do much until I get my equipment built, but I was hoping I could- that you would be willing to give me a blood sample so I could start as soon as it’s ready.”

Felix’s face turned stony. “You want my blood?”

“Not for a phylactery or blood magic or anything like that!” She rushed to assure him. “No blood magic, it’s- blood carries a lot of things, things like the blight or other diseases. Once my equipment is built I’ll be able to see what’s in your blood, maybe figure out how to get rid of what you don’t want in it. Everything about the blight points to it being bloodborne.”

He frowned and looked down, obviously thinking it over. Alexius narrowed his eyes at her. “What can you hope to find? The blight is born of magic.”

Emma shook her head. “I find that unlikely, but what have you got to lose. If I'm wrong you're no worse off than you were before but…” she paused as she turned back to Felix. “If I'm right, we could find a cure or at the very least buy you more time.”

Felix looked up at her. “Why do you want to do this?”

“I have to save everyone I can. I might be able to save you, there’s a chance however small, and if I can… I might be able to save other people who get infected.” She hugged the research bag to her chest. “I have to try at least. If… if you don’t agree I’ll have to find someone else and I don’t know how long that would take.”

Slowly, he nodded. “Very well. I agree. If it may help others as well…”

“Thank you!”

Several minutes later, and a very stern command to stop letting the healers bleed him for goodness sake, she had her carefully labeled and packed away sample. One down, two to go. Aaaand that meant more stairs. 

She was huffing by the time she found Fiona in one of the towers set aside to house the mages. It was practically on the opposite side of Skyhold from where the soldiers and templars were, probably Damon’s idea. 

“Grand Enchantress!” She tried to catch her breath as she waved at the woman. 

Fiona folded her hands and dismissed the woman she had been talking to before approaching her. “Lady Herald, how may I help you?”

Emma glanced around the tower level curiously. “How are the mages settling in?”

“There have been a few incidents with the remaining Templars, but the Inquisitor’s support of mages has helped settle things peacefully. We could not have made a better ally and the Inquisition has our full support.”

“That’s good!” She hesitated and looked around to make sure they were reasonably alone before diving right into why she was here. “I had a favor to ask.”

“What is it?”

Emma fiddled with her research bag. “I’m, uh, I’m planning on researching, trying to find a cure for the Blight. I know... “ Fiona looked shocked but she kept going in a rush. “I know you lost the taint from your joining and I want to see if I can replicate it.”

The mage was silent for a long moment, obviously shaken. “You truly do See things then? I had thought it an exaggeration.”

Emma winced but nodded. “It’s… sometimes. Yeah. I know you used to be a Grey Warden, and then you lost the taint and couldn’t rejoin. You’re possibly immune now. If I can figure out how to make it happen in other people...”

“You could…” Fiona shook her head in disbelief. “What do you need from me?”

“Oh. Um. A blood sample. No blood magic! I promise, no blood magic and no phylacteries. I just need to look at it once I get my equipment built, try to see how your blood is different.” The mage looked hesitant and Emma added quickly. “It could possibly also work to cure wardens who have started to hear their callings.”

It worked and Emma knew Fiona’s mind went straight to Alistair. “Would I be allowed to observe your research sometimes?” She asked, a little more at ease. 

“Sure.” Emma shrugged. “I don’t mind.”

“Very well. You may have your sample.” Fiona looked around and directed her to a side room. She shut the door behind them and bolted it before pulling up the sleeve of her robe. “I assume you have a vial?”

Emma nodded and retrieved three empty vials from her bag. Within moments she had her second sample set. One more to go…… and more stairs.

She headed back for the rotunda, fairly certain where the spymaster would be. When she entered, she came to a halt at the sight of Solas leaning back in his desk chair, Gaelathe laying sound asleep in the crook of his arm, as he read a book that he held in his other hand. He hadn't seemed to notice her but instead seemed engrossed with his book. Emma smiled and snuck up the stairs. The Dread Wolf babysitting, nobody back home would believe it.

Leliana was sitting at her desk, looking over reports, when Emma reached the top of the stairs. The spymaster looked up and smiled. “Ah, so it is my turn?”

Emma made a frustrated face. Of course she already knew. “I thought I was being quieter.”

Leliana’s voice tinkled like bells as she laughed. “Running across Skyhold asking for blood samples? You are the Herald. Did you really think it would escape my notice?”

“No. But I was being quieter.” Emma said as she walked over to the desk.

Leliana just smiled and shook her head before dropping the report onto the desk and steepling her fingers in front of her. “I assume the blood is for your ‘research’ but what would make you interested in mine?” She cocked her head and looked at Emma as if trying to see her innermost thoughts. “I have never had the blight.”

“You’re resistant.” Emma chewed on her lip before continuing. “It'd be extremely hard for you to contract it.” 

Leliana’s eyes narrowed, but it didn’t seem threatening, just curious. “Just how much do you know of me?” The question seemed absent, like it had slipped out while she was thinking. 

Emma fidgeted with the string of her bag. “I, uh…the spell Alexius was trying to cast in Redcliffe… it, um… it would've sent me a year into the future if I hadn't… you know.” She waved her hand vaguely, she still wasn't sure how that had happened. Leliana gestured for her to continue. “Well, in this… future you had been captured and… experimented on.” She winced at the memory of the ghost the game Leliana had become. “It was found that you were resistant to the blight. Highly resistant.”

Leliana stared at her silently for several moments before speaking. “And you prevented this future?”

“Well, in that future the breach was never closed so… yeah.” Emma shrugged self-consciously.

The spymaster seemed to consider that for a long moment before straightening. “You and the Inquisitor have a habit of answering my questions without giving me the answer I want.” She sounded amused. “If you truly believe my blood will help, you may have it.”

Emma breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you!” She moved to stand near Leliana and got her vials ready.

Leliana nodded and rolled up her sleeve as Emma directed, having to pause to remove a hidden dirk holster.

Emma laughed. “You’re so awesome.” 

Leliana smirked but chose to pursue a different subject. “You know that my agents have reported that the ‘Hero’ is looking for a cure as well?”

Emma made a disgusted face. “If that man is looking for a cure it's born out of pure selfishness, not to the benefit of others.”

“No doubt.” She gave Emma a secret smile. “I hope you beat him to it!”

“Me too!”

After the vials were filled, packed away, and Leli’s arm was wrapped. Emma was about to say her goodbye when Leliana spoke. “The arcanist, Dagna arrived this afternoon. She is very eager to see this new machine the Inquisitor designed.”

She hugged her sample bag to her chest excitedly. “I’ll get them to her right away! Thank you!”

Leliana waved her off with a smile and Emma hurried down the stairs, stopping when she saw, or rather, felt a faint shimmer out of the corner of her eye. She paused before her foot hit the last step and looked into the Rotunda, searching for the source of the strange feeling. Solas was sitting at his desk still, but his head was back and Gaelathe was propped against his chest. They were asleep. Cole was sitting cross legged on the desk, watching them curiously. 

“Shadow but solid, warm and real and fragile. Peaceful to touch, soothing and settling, but small and faded. Muted but there.” He cocked his head. “He doesn’t know why he likes him, but it’s relaxing to have him near.”

“Babies do that.” Emma took the final step and felt a faint rippling underfoot that made her chest twinge. She glanced down, wondering what that was, but when she looked back up, Cole was gone and Solas’ eyes were open and looking directly at her.

Oh, must have been a warning ward. She frowned down at her feet. “Why didn’t you just go somewhere more secure instead of putting an alarm on the stairs?” She asked quietly.

Solas sat up and held Gaelathe steady against his chest with one hand, the other going to rub his eyes. “I did not want to worry you if you returned and found us gone from where you had left us.”

“Oh.” She smiled at the thoughtfulness. She would have worried. “Thanks.”

 

 

They had reached the Hinterlands in record time and should be able to find the first person on Emma and Cass’ list in the morning. They had camped a decent distance away from the area Emma had noted and now were resting up for what would probably be a fight tomorrow. 

Damon could feel Bull staring at him. It was getting to the point that the hair on the back of his neck was prickling so he looked up from his book and glanced at him. 

“What?”

“I’m just trying to figure out if you only cook when Lil’bit is around.”

“It’s cuz he’s the bossy pants now.” Sera draped herself over a log by the fire. “Bossy pants don’t cook, they get other less bossy people to cook for them.”

Damon frowned and put his book aside. “Is it time to cook already?”

Bull looked at him shrewdly but spoke to Sera. “Nah, it’s just because Lil’bit isn’t around.”

Damon rolled his eyes and flipped him off. “You could just ask me. I don’ mind cookin’.”

Dorian sighed. “But that requires effort on our part.”

Damon laughed at that. He could still feel Bull’s eyes on him as he stood and moved to their supply packs. He could probably figure out something easy for tonight. There was a collective groan when he pulled out the bag of porridge oats, but he held up a hand. “Patience.”

He hadn’t made oatcakes since he was young, so it took a minute for him to get the consistency right for frying. Bull was all too happy to ‘clean up’ the first couple that fell apart on the griddle. After a few tries though, he was humming under his breath and scooping oatcakes onto people’s plates while he chewed on one he had accidentally broken.

Cassandra sighed happily as she held out her plate for her third helping. “How do you do it? You used the same oats we eat every morning, but these are divine.”

“Salt and fat.” He grinned and shoved some food into his mouth to free his hands so he could serve her some cakes.

She narrowed her eyes. “It cannot be that simple.”

He shrugged. “Kinda is. Sure, pepper and stuff helps, but basically it all come down to salt and fat. Iffin your bored of sumthin, fry it.”

Sera reached over his shoulder and snagged a cake straight off the griddle, making a screeching noise as it burned her and she tossed it from hand to hand. “Bread. You can’t fry bread. It’s just boring.”

Damon laughed and bit into another broken oatcake. “Actually, if you got stale bread you can dip it in egg and salt, then fry it. S’good with honey.”

Sera’s eyes widened. “You gotta make that now!”

“Hmm. I believe there are some farms in the area. I’m sure we could buy some eggs tomorrow after we deal with Ser Torn.” Cassandra looked a bit eager at the thought.

There were only two oatcakes left on the griddle and he looked around. “Y’all done eatin’?”

At their assorted answer, he grabbed the last two and shoved them into his mouth and set about cleaning up. Once that was done he collapsed back onto his spot by the fire and reached for his book, but Dorian interrupted him.

“Surely you know a story or two to share. After Lady Emma’s masterful tale, I find it hard to believe you don’t know a few yourself.” 

Damon groaned. They just wouldn’t leave it alone. “Fine. You know what? I will tell you a story if y’all promise to stop askin’ for them.”

Cassandra settled next to him with a smile. “We promise. For a time.”

“For a time will have to be good enough.” He rubbed his hands together. “Here goes. There once was a scorpion who was travelling across the land. One day, he came to a river. He needed to get to the other side but there was no bridge and he could not swim. He walked along the river bank, searching for a way to cross, when he came across a frog.”  
He felt ridiculous, but they were all listening raptly so he just forged on through it. “The scorpion called out to the frog. ‘Hello! Would you please carry me across the river? I need to reach the other side.’ The frog was wary and asked the scorpion. ‘I know you scorpions, it is in your nature to sting and kill. How do I know you will not simply sting me while I carry you?’”

“The scorpion considered this for a moment before replying. ‘I can give you my word that I will not sting you, as well as the fact that if I stung you while you carried me, we would both die.’ The frog thought it over and agreed to carry the scorpion across the river. When they reached the other side, the scorpion climbed off of the frog’s back and thanked him. The frog was confused and asked, ‘why did you not sting me? It is your nature to sting.’ The scorpion very seriously answered. ‘I cannot control my nature, but I can control my actions.’ The end.” Damon gave a bow and laughed when Sera clapped. 

Bull had a crease between his eyebrows and seemed like he was deep in thought. “Where’d you hear that story?”

“My dad used to tell it to me. A lot. I think he was worried about my temper.”

Bull made a thoughtful noise, but Cassandra nudged him. “I have yet to see this temper of yours outside of battle.”

“Cass. I threatened to chew off my own arm and beat you with it within five minutes of meeting you.”

“Really?” Dorian’s eyebrows rose in interest and Sera cackled.

Cassandra blushed. “I see your point. And I believe his exact phrase was ‘crush you so far into the earth a god themself could not find you’.”

“Nice!” Bull grinned. “I'll have to remember that one.” 

“Thanks. Best first impression I ever made, I think.” Damon chuckled.

Cassandra rolled her eyes. “Yes, you nearly got yourself killed before you ever left the dungeons.”

“But here I am. So someone in the room had some sense at least.” Everyone around the campfire laughed. 

They finally let him get back to his book and Damon had gotten through a few pages when he heard Dorian ask Bull. “I hope it doesn't bother you to travel alongside a ‘Vint,’ Iron Bull.”

Bull squinted at Dorian, a grin on his face. “That what you are? You people all kinda look the same to me.”

“I'm also a mage. Would you prefer me bound and leashed?”

Bull chuckled at that. “I'd buy you dinner first."

Damon nudged Cassandra subtly and gave her a ‘see?’ expression. She shook her head and pulled out her whetstone.

“Hopefully before you sewed my mouth shut.” Dorian continued, pretending not to be phased.

“Depends how much you keep yapping.”

Sera groaned loudly. “Just go find a bush and bump bits already!”

Damon laughed when Dorian actually sputtered. Sera was awesome. 

Bull grinned at her and stood. “Well now, I didn't think I was your type, Sera, but since you're offering.” He took a step towards her and she bolted from her seat.

“Not me, ya daft tit!” She screeched as she scrambled away from him.

“Whatever revenge you get on him better not touch me.” Damon barely pulled his feet back in time to keep from being stepped on. Not overly eager to inevitably get caught up between Sera and Bull, he grabbed his book and slipped off to his tent, Cass had first watch so he could try to catch a bit of sleep before his turn. Oddly enough, he had barely laid down before he was drifting off. Was nice. 

He was woken by something touching his foot. He blindly kicked at it and rolled, reaching for his dagger and coming up ready to fight who or whatever was in his tent. He blinked a bit at the early morning light shining in behind Cassandra, who was smirking and holding a broken stick.

“Cass? Wh-” He frowned. Why was the sun up? “I missed my watch?”

“I could not wake you when I called to you, so The Iron Bull offered to take your place. I believe you needed the rest.” She tossed the stick aside

He set his dagger aside and squinted at her while he tried to calm his racing heart. “I thought you had this weird thing about goin’ in other people’s tents.”

Her ears turned red but her eyes were playful. “I tried yelling, but you did not wake. So I thought it only fair I should get to startle you.”

He huffed and scrubbed a hand over his face. “Fair enough. You gotta wait till summer till you’ll get a look at my butt though.”

Her entire face flushed and she made an indignant noise in her throat. “I was not-! Ugh! You are horrible!” She threw her hands up and left, letting the flap to his tent drop back into place.

He laughed and grabbed his bag before crawling out of the tent and stretching till his back popped in a series of loud cracks. 

“Ew.” Sera giggled from by the fire. “That sounded like a basket of eggs got sat on.” She looked like she was peeling potatoes.

He snorted and walked over, curious. Sure enough, she and Dorian had a bowl of potatoes peeled and sliced. “What’s this?”

Dorian had his brow furrowed in concentration as he tried to slice a potato into even chunks. He looked like he didn’t have much practice with it. “It was hinted to us that if we did the menial labor and preparations, that you would be kind enough to cook breakfast for us so we did not have to suffer yet another bowl of porridge.”

He grabbed a chunk of raw potato and popped it into his mouth, enjoying Dorian’s look of horror as it crunched between his teeth. “Fair ‘nough.”

Bull appeared from the tree line with a skewer of meat. “Pan’s hot and I got the grease in it already.” He gestured with the skewer. “Nug walked up to me on watch so we have meat too.”

“It walked up to you?” Dorian raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Whyever would something want to do that?”

Bull grinned. “It’s amazing what can happen when you can stay quiet for more than a second.”

Damon rolled his eyes as the two started their flyting back up and set about frying up breakfast. When they had finished eating, Cassandra wiped her hands off and approached him. “Your hair is loose and we might have a battle today. Would you like me to fix it?”

“Have at it.” He gestured towards his bag and continued scraping out the pan. 

She dug out his brush and set to work on brushing out his hair, untangling a few strands from his horns. 

“Lady Cassandra only seems to know the two styles, why do you not let someone else deal with your hair?” Dorian’s tone was teasing.

Cass huffed but Damon just shrugged. “She does great. An’ anyway, I don’ just let anyone back there.” He saw Bull’s mouth open and pointed a finger at him. “And you weren’t back there for my hair, an’ I wouldn’t let you for it either.”

He winced when Cassandra tugged sharply on his hair with an irritated huff. Didn’t sound like she was actually upset though, so he let himself enjoy the way Dorian’s eyes darted between him and Bull and spots of color appeared on his cheeks. Liked that mental image then. 

She patted his shoulder to let him know she was done and he tilted his head back to smile up at her. “Thanks.”

Sera made kissing noises and he flipped her off and rolled to his feet. “Welp, let’s break camp and get this over with.”


	35. Chapter 35

 

Torn had, of course, attacked them on sight just as Emma had predicted. It wasn’t… it wasn’t much of a fight. Nothing compared to demons and dragons. Damon had to spend a long time scrubbing his ax with wet sand to get the blood off. Too long. 

Instead of staying another night in the hinterlands, he had pushed for them to move on, using the excuse that the sooner they located the next person on the list the sooner they got back to Skyhold. Surprisingly, Cass hadn't fought him on it. She had probably already guessed his need to get away. Taking another person’s life…. would never get any easier. And he didn’t want to be the kind of person where it would get easier.

He hadn’t felt up to cooking that night, or eating. His stomach was twisted in knots, though whether it was from guilt or hunger he couldn’t tell anymore. Cass had set a plate of food directly in his hands and had glared at him until he ate. Her face was stormy, but he knew she was just worried. Sometimes anger and concern looked the same.

Conversation around the fire was nearly nonexistent, everyone seemed to be riding on his mood. He didn't like it, wished he had the energy to crack a joke and break the mood. Seemed wrong of him to bring them down with him, but shit was just too heavy right now. He’d make it up to them later. 

It was his turn for first watch, and it passed by slowly. He tried to find the constellations that he had read about in the stars overhead, but the more he focused on them the more his heart raced at the reminder that he was alone out here under a sky he couldn’t navigate. There was no Polaris here to guide him back home. The darkness and silence grated on him until he was twitchy and raw when Sera finally took over. He tried to sleep. He really did, but… he couldn’t. Memories of blood and and violence too fresh on his mind played out everytime he tried to close his eyes. 

He ended up pulling out the dreamless sleep potion Solas had given him and turned it over and over in his hands. He hadn't ever gotten up the nerve to take it. He found that he still couldn't and shoved it back into his pack. He gave up and left his tent, waving Sera off back to bed. She didn’t argue, too eager to get back to sleep. He’d faced dark nights alone before. He would just have to wait out another one. 

He sat back up on the boulder overlooking the area around their camp and tried to remember how to build a hydro-powered pump.  He’d had to draft one as a project when he was in college, it had earned him some extra credit and he hoped he could remember the design. Maybe he could draft it out back at Skyhold, build them to help the valley farmers irrigate fields. He was just figuring out the connections between the wheel and water screw when movement behind him had him whirling around with his knife in his hand. Cassandra held up her hands peaceably.

“It is just me.” When he put his knife back in his belt she dropped her hands and moved towards him. 

He sat back down and rubbed his ink to settle himself, his heart loud and insistent in his ears. She glanced at his wrist as she sat next to him. “Your tattoo…” she looked a little uncomfortable as she spoke. “I did not want to mention it but… Did Solas give it to you?”

He nodded wearily, not sure if he had the energy to defend him verbally right now, and she frowned. 

“It is… magic, is it not?” 

He nodded again, reflexively pulling his wrist to his stomach to protect it.

She must have noticed the movement because she rushed to assure him. “Do not misunderstand me. I just… You trusted him to place his magic in your skin?” The last part was said quietly but bewildered.

Again, he nodded, but his shoulders felt a little looser when he realized she wasn’t going to condemn him for it. She studied him for a long moment. “What does it mean? It obviously has great importance to you.”

He held his wrist out and let her look at it. Her fingers hesitantly touched the pink spray of almond flowers and cluster of yellow celandine, the sensation seeming to race through his arm. It felt… peaceful. Right.

“Promise and joys to come.” His voice sounded hoarse in his own ears, strained with the effort of keeping himself together.

A slight furrow between her brows appeared as she traced over the silver script of his mom’s name, her finger coming to rest on the diamond in the center of it. He wasn’t sure if it was the distraction or the contact or both, but his heart was slowing from it’s near panicked pace. He felt… he felt like he could breathe again.

“Diamond for my gem of a mom. Strong and beautiful. Her real name means wisdom and courage.” He voice was clearer now, but still just as hard to use.

She made a thoughtful noise in her throat. “It is very beautiful.” She glanced at his face seriously. “I worry for you. Twice now you have pulled a knife on me in instinct.”

He looked away and circled his fist over his chest in apology. It was too much effort to speak and Cass knew this word. Cass had become a good friend to him since Haven and he felt guilty for reacting like she had been a threat. He shouldn’t be taking his problems out on her like that.

“It is a good skill to have in our kind of life, but it is not something you used to do.”

He couldn’t help the reflexive glance back towards his empty tent. He’d never done well alone. Never handled not having someone at his back well. Not having someone to reach out and touch when his head got dicey. When he had first had to take a life, Emma had been there. She had held him, grounded him, and understood. Now he just had the dark and his own shitty head full of mistakes. 

Her eyes followed his line of sight and she frowned. “For one so loud in the day, you are very silent at night.” She looked back at him and haltingly signed. “Is it easier like this for you?”

He huffed and nodded his fist.

She moved her index fingers back and forth from her mouth. “Talk.”

He hesitated and slowly signed. “You won’t understand most of it.”

Her lips moved as she deciphered the signs and then she smiled gently at him. “I will still listen.”

Had to think about it for a moment before he decided. It… it would actually probably help to talk about it, and it would be easier to say everything because he knew she’d only understand maybe a quarter of it. She had been there for so many of his meltdowns, a steady presence to lean against. He was burning down inside with no other way to really let it out without hurting himself. He slowly brought his hands up and started signing, picking up speed as he figured out what he wanted to say. At first it was just an explanation for why he was acting weird, then it turned into a sharing of secrets. She watched his hands the entire time, her face determined and open even though she could only catch a few words here and there. By the time he was explaining his freak out with Emma, his fears of relapse and abandonment, hurt and nightmares, guilt and inadequacy, the loneliness but fear of rejection, he had to stop every few words to dash the tears from his eyes. 

He- he couldn’t finish. Couldn’t say the rest, even to a silent and uncomprehending listener. He let his hands fall to his lap and looked down, waiting for her to give up and leave or say something. Instead, she hesitantly reached out and touched his arm.

The contact broke him and he turned and pressed his face to her shoulder to cry. She startled, but her arms went around his shoulders before he could pull away and apologize, keeping him there. He felt his entire being sag with relief at her acceptance and he just let himself sob till there was nothing left.

He wasn’t sure how it happened, when his crying stopped and he had fallen asleep, but somehow he was starting to wake and feeling both bone weary and rested. And safe.

“One word and they will never find your corpse.” Cassandra whispered menacingly above him, pulling him into awareness.

He opened his eyes and turned his head to look in the direction of her voice, feeling incredibly embarrassed when he realized his head was resting on her legs and the sun was up. He sat up in time to see Dorian take a step backwards with his hands held up placatingly.  

“My lips are sealed, but if silence on the matter is what you wish, you may want to move before Sera and the spy come this way in search of someone to cook for them.” A smile was playing on his lips as his eyes darted delightedly between Damon and Cassandra. 

Damon scrubbed his face with his hands, unsure exactly how he had fallen asleep in Cass’ lap, or how upset she would be about it. Touching was a Big Deal here. He didn’t know how badly he’d fucked up. “Go tell ‘em that I’ll make that fried bread if they get the fire going. That’ll keep ‘em distracted for a bit.”

Dorian inclined his head, still with that damned smirk on his face, and headed back to the camp. 

Damon glanced uncertainly at Cassandra. “I’m sorry.”

Her ears turned red but she shook her head. “No. I believe you needed that.”

He huffed and covered his face with his hands. Not a major fuck up then, but still across a line. “Yeah. Still…”

“I refuse to be embarrassed about being there for a friend.” She said firmly. “Now, come teach me to make this fried bread before Sera starts composing dirty rhymes about us.”

“Yeah. Okay.” He got to his feet and held out a hand to help her up, giving her a half smile when she accepted. “Thank you.”

He impulsively squeezed her hand and let go, feeling his face heat up but also feeling pleased when she also turned red. He’d need to think about that later. 

Breakfast was good, Sera didn’t say anything about him and Cass walking into camp together, but Bull watched them with interest. He didn’t say anything either, but Damon could feel him watching. He wasn’t willing to start that conversation though. He knew Bull saw more than he let on. They broke camp and got back on the road, headed for the Emerald Graves and the second person on their list. 

It took him a bit, but Damon managed to get back into the banter of the group. He did actually feel better. Lighter. Cass kept giving him looks he couldn’t read, but he didn’t mind. When she got caught up in a conversation between Dorian and Sera that had her looking appalled, Bull rode up next to him and indicated he should ride ahead a bit with a jerk of his chin. 

Damon made a face but nudged MoFo to pick up the pace. When they were far enough ahead to not be overheard, Bull gave him a long look before speaking. 

“You don’t know much about Qunari, do you?”

He shook his head. “Parents never once mentioned it, I never got around to readin’ or askin’ about it till all this shit.”

“Hmm. Odd that. Most Tal Vashoth make a big deal about how different they are from the Qun.”

Damon gave him a flat look. “Bull. Stop fishin’ and get to the point. You know I jus’ answer or don’t.”

He laughed. “True, but sometimes you can get more from a reaction than an answer.”

Point. Damon gave him a ‘go on’ gesture. 

“You know the difference between Qunari and Tal Vashoth?”

“Yeah, I read up a bit. Viddathari an’ Kossith, basic shit. All from an outside point of view, of course, so I dunno how accurate it was.”

“Hmm. Most likely horseshit.”

“Yeah. I figured. And again, the point?”

“Fine. You know what a kadan is?” At Damon’s head shake he explained. “We don’t marry in the Qun. Sex is just casual, easy. But sometimes, someone finds someone. Their Kadan. Closest translation would be something like, ‘my heart’ or ‘my home’.”

Damon laughed. “Ah. I see where this is goin’.”

“So, the point is: did you find yours?” 

He shrugged. “Might have. Figurin’ that out.” He gave Bull a sly glance when the man grinned. “Playin’ matchmaker or cheatin’?”

“Well. Looks like the Vint wants to fight some more.” Bull grinned and tugged on his mount’s reins, falling back to where the others were watching them curiously. 

He met Cass’ eyes and gave her a small smile, which she returned. Yeah. He was still figuring that out. He nudged MoFo to move beside her and signed. “Want to learn some more words? We have time.”

She nodded and asked with her hands. “What did-” She paused and pointed at Bull, continuing her sentence when he supplied her with the sign. “What did Bull say to you?”

“He was telling me about Qunari.” He had to spell out the last word. There wasn’t a sign for it.

“Why?”

He hesitated before shrugging and telling her. “He was teasing me about you.”

Her ears turned red and she scowled. “He should mind his own-” She made a frustrated sound and spelled out. “Business.”

“Business. I agree.” He laughed out loud over his signs. It felt nice. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Dagna was every bit the bubbly genius the game had portrayed her to be. The energetic dwarf was practically giddy with excitement when Emma had shown her the blueprints for the microscope. However, she did ask for ‘samples’ of her own in return for building the microscope, which she immediately followed up with a rambling spiel about not really meaning it and being happy to work with the Inquisition that Emma had to cut her off from with her agreement. If that was how she sounded when she rambled nervously, it was actually kind of endearing. 

The blueprints were delivered with the promise that they would be made priority. Now Emma was left to twiddle her thumbs until the microscope was built… hopefully. 

Gaelathe took up a lot of her time, unless she could find a willing circle member to babysit for a hour or so, she was stuck lugging around a basket or using the sling. She didn't mind all that much but it was exhausting. He seemed to be going through a growth spurt too, which meant more bottles, which meant more changes, which meant less sleep all around.

She was carrying him in his sling this morning as she made her way to the healers. It was around day ten since Damon left, and she wanted to be sure they were following the guidelines he had laid out for the clinic. She was pleased to find that the majority seemed to agree with his new standards of cleanliness. The clinic had been set up in a room with a cistern fed by the waterfall. They had set up a section alongside the cistern where the water could be boiled in a large kettle before use. Patient’s wounds were kept clean, the tools were being sanitized regularly, and the room was scrubbed down daily.

A few grumbled about the new standards but others argued that the statistics didn't lie. They lost fewer people to wound rot and fever now. Emma made a mental note to invite the healing staff down to the undercroft after her microscope was finished and introduce them all to the pesky germ theory, maybe help keep the peace and strengthen their resolve to keep it up.

Next up: she was off to see Josie and Mother Giselle. She had been tossing the idea around in her mind since Haven but now that they were in Skyhold and the threat of Corypheus attacking has passed, it's time for a school. A real school.

When she reached Josie’s office, she found that Damon had also been thinking about it as well and had marked off a few places on the map of Skyhold to consider for where the school would be, as well as a piece of paper saying that if Emma asked for it, she had his authority to do what she needed to to get it started. Emma didn’t know how he managed to get everything that he did done before he left. Had he slept at all since they got to Skyhold?

But with Josie’s support and a piece of paper giving her the power to get things rolling, she headed for where Mother Giselle was apparently helping get the gardens into working condition again. When Emma found her and presented the idea, the woman seemed shocked, but then immediately on board, sitting down with her and discussing what they might need to find teachers and books and a million other details that had Emma’s head hurting. 

She left the gardens feeling exhausted but pleased. If things went well they should have at least a basic school for reading and writing up and running inside a month. Gaelathe was starting to fuss so she headed for her room, hoping for a bit of peace and quiet while she got him fed and changed and hopefully down for a nap. She waved at Solas as she passed through the rotunda, giving him a smile as he looked up from his book. He had been pouring over the same two for a few days now.

Once Gaelathe was fed and changed, he was surprisingly willing to let her hum and rock him to sleep, settling down when she put him into the crib without fuss. She let out a sigh of relief and sat on her new bed to read for a bit. She was barely five pages in when a soft knock at her door caught her attention. She quickly set her book aside and rushed for the door before whoever it was knocked louder and possibly woke Gaelathe up. He was normally a hard sleeper, but with how fussy he’d been lately she didn’t want to risk it. 

She opened the door to find a triumphant looking Solas.

“I believe I may have figured out what is blocking your access to the Fade.” He said quietly, but his voice was practically dancing with excitement. 

“Really!?” She hugged her waist excitedly and stepped back to allow him inside. “What is it?”

He hesitated, but stepped across the threshold and let her close the door behind him. 

“I just got him to sleep, so…” She pressed a finger to her lips and his eyes dropped to it before focusing back on her eyes. 

He glanced at the crib and walked over to the empty side of her room. She followed curiously and he flicked his wrist, a dome of silencing energy settling around him. 

“You have said before that there is no magic in your world, no fade to have a connection to?” At her nod he continued. “It is possible that you have always had the ability to connect to the Fade, but in its absence, the ability became stunted, your will blocking it off to protect you from the pain that searching for something that did not exist would cause.” 

She chewed her lip and thought over it. “So I cut myself off? Made like a barrier? A barrier that can be broken possibly?”

“In a manner. I... “ He hesitated. “I would not be certain unless I entered your mind.”

She looked up at him with an eager smile. “You’ve done that before. We can again.”

He winced. “It would have to be while you are awake and conscious. It…It is considerably more intrusive and you would have to trust me not to injure your mind.”

Oh. She involuntarily shivered at the phantom feeling of his magic clawing into her mind.

He must have seen her reaction because his expression faltered. “It would not be like that. I would not be attacking you. You would be able to push me away with a thought.”

“Which is why I’d have to trust you, because if I didn’t you’d be out?”

“Exactly so. I understand if-”

“Yes.” She interrupted him. She hadn’t realized how much she wanted to hear that song, to have that ache in her chest to be gone. Ever since the breach she had felt wrong… hollow.

He blinked at her with his mouth open in surprise before shaking his head with a smile. “Very well, Emma’falon.”

“What do you need me to do?”

Solas had her tailor sit on the floor in front of him, close enough that their knees touched. He picked up both her hands in his and caught her eyes. “Are you sure?”

At her nod he leaned forward, her heart started to race as their foreheads touched, their joined hands resting between them. “Relax,” He whispered and the sensation of his breath brushing her face made her shiver. “Let me in.”

She felt the cold touch of his magic through her palms and face and that hollow space inside her lurched. She forced herself to keep it back, not take his magic. She remembered him abruptly leaving when she had accidentally taken it last time. At least, that’s what she figured had happened. 

It felt… odd. She could feel his magic flowing through her until it felt like it was hers, like she could flick a hand and send it out. There was a heavy presence pressing behind her eyes that quickly grew comfortable as it settled. After a moment she recognized the presence as Solas. He felt searching, like his magic was racing through her body and mapping her out. It felt strangely intimate and she shuddered as he focused on the hollow part of her. 

There was silence for a moment before she heard, both within her head and out, “I think I have found it. I will need you to not fight me, even if it hurts.” She felt his unsureness. “Do you think you are able?” 

She didn’t have to vocalize her answer. He just knew as soon as she knew that she thought she could do it. 

“When you feel it, picture your mind opening. Feel the barrier and break it.”

He crashed against something and it felt as if he had punched her in the stomach. She gasped and clutched his hands tightly as he did it again, but gentler. She could picture it in her mind now that he had found it for her and she focused on it, trying to will it open, will it apart. It felt like she was being disjointed, stretched apart till something tore within her and she was overcome with the painful pins and needles of a limb she didn’t know she had regaining circulation. 

He said something approving, but she didn’t comprehend what it was. She could  _ feel _ it! Her magic, HER magic! It burst through her like a song of ecstasy, white hot and strange and so, so beautiful. It entwined around Solas’ magic happily, winding around and following it back to its source, to where it sat brightest. There was a disorienting moment where her vision split, but then she was they. They could feel their hands clasped together, the pressure where their knees met. They opened their eyes and they inhaled at the sight of their faces, overlapping into a repeating mirror as they saw themselves and themselves.

They focused on one of their faces, the one with their eyelids half open and silver light spilling across their freckled cheeks. They were beautiful. Their face was slack with bliss, their lips parted-

They- no… she felt a wrench throughout themself as they… no, he, unwound and withdrew, slipping away. Her magic filled the absence and she shivered as she wrapped it around herself like a blanket. Dorian had described it as a flame, but this? This was like a bonfire in her chest. She opened her eyes and looked with only her own sight.

Solas had his back pressed against the wall, his fingers splayed against the stone like he wanted to dig into it and hold on. His chest was heaving as he panted and his eyes were shimmering faintly, wide with an emotion she couldn’t place.

“ _ I’m sorry, did I hurt you? Are you alright? _ ” She frowned when the words came out; she could tell they were what she meant but they sounded wrong.

He inhaled shakily and straightened, smoothing his hands over his shirt. “I am fine. I… I just did not expect you to be able to complete the connection.” He huffed a wry laugh, his fingers twisting in the fabric of his shirt. “I should have known better.” 

His words sounded right. Why did his sound right and not hers? “ _ My words feel wrong.  _ “ She frowned and ran her tongue over her lips, tasting the magic lingering there. “ _ Oh, this is the wrong language.” _

He inhaled shakily and looked away, running his hands over his hair. He looked shaken, but his ears were red.  “An aftereffect of my presence in your mind.” He touched his lower lip with the tip of his tongue. “I find I am having the same difficulty with my own words. It should fade in a few minutes, however.”

She held out her hands and looked at them, curious if she could- Silver light sparked in her hands and she heard Solas’ sharp intake of breath. She looked up at him with an ecstatic grin. She had magic! The hollow part of her was gone, was healed, and she could hear her power.

“Emma, your eyes…” He whispered, looking like he couldn’t understand what he was seeing. 

“What about them?” She reached up and touched her face, but couldn’t feel anything besides the energy singing within her.

“They shine. Your power is making itself visible.”

“But-” She frowned and concentrated, trying to reel her magic in, settle it and control it. 

After a moment Solas made an odd noise in his throat. “You show a surprising level of control.” His eyes travelled over her for a moment. “We will have to work on training, teach you to use your magic.”

She nodded and a whisper caught her attention. She stood up, following the sound. It was Solas’ spell, but the magic sounded different than him. It sounded like privacy and protection. She stepped through it curiously, mapping out in her mind where it began and ended. She reached out and placed her hand in the air where it hung, feeling the hum of it against her palm. If she focused she could hear the pattern of it, like a song being played down the road. A song she could possibly replicate if she caught the right frequency. 

“What are you doing?” Solas asked, moving to stand next to her.

“Listening.” 

He gave her an odd look and the spell abruptly ended. She frowned at him.

“I wasn’t done with that. I had almost-” She lifted her hand to try and mimic the motion she’d seen him do many times now, but paused when she remembered that Gaelathe was in the room. She couldn’t practice magic in the same room as him. Wasn’t safe. 

She moved to Gaelathe and rested a hand on his back, smiling when she felt the soft hum of his aura flare against her palm. He felt bright, summery, but blanketed in a protective shield that she instantly recognized as her own. She had shielded him without knowing. She glanced at Solas in concern. “Am I safe to be around him?”

Solas was watching her in bewilderment. “Yes. I believe so. Your will is too strongly inclined to protect him.”

“What am I doing?” He gave her a puzzled look and she elaborated. “You’re looking at me like I’m doing something weird.”

He gave a wry chuckle. “You are defying every reasonable expectation, Emma’falon.”

“You should know by now that I’m not very reasonable.” She laughed, smiling at him.

Solas took a deep breath before shaking his head. “As much as I enjoy seeing you like this, you must learn to hold your aura close to your skin.” He took a step closer and picked up one of her hands. “Every emotion you now feel radiates magic, your eyes shine molten silver. You must reign this in. What I see clearly as your power and yours alone, others will mistake for possession.”

“Oh no.” He r eyes glowed, like Solas’. Like Anders. How was that possible? But she could figure that out later. For now... She bit her lip and focused on her song, mapping it out in her mind. It radiated from her chest and she coaxed it back until it nestled in that part of her that had been empty so long. She glanced up at him, noticing his gaze fixed on her mouth, and released her lip. “Better?”

His eyes flicked back up to hers. “No, I do not think it better. But your eyes will not frighten people for now.”

A knock at the door startled her and she had to take a second to rein her aura back in before pulling her hand from his and moving to answer. She cracked the door open and was surprised to find Varric standing there, accompanied by a blonde elf with green eyes that looked very familiar.

She squinted at her for a moment before smiling, making sure to keep her aura leashed. “Orana!”

Varric raised his eyebrows at her in surprise. “I was going to make introductions, but seems like you Saw us coming.”

Orana herself was wide-eyed and bobbed a curtsey. “Lady Herald. Master Tethras says that you are searching for a governess.”

Emma smiled at her. She had always loved the girl in the game, even though she didn’t have many lines. “Yes! Would you like to meet Gaelathe? He’s sleeping right now, so we’ll have to be quiet.”

Varric chuckled. “That’s it? I figured with how protective you are of the half-pint there’d be hours of interrogation.” 

Emma rolled her eyes and let them in, only remembering that Solas was there, in her bedroom, when Varric got an impish grin. Oh no. She gave him a glare and gestured at the crib, daring him to make a joke and risk waking the baby. Orana glanced between them nervously but stayed quiet. 

Emma quietly made introductions. “Orana, this is Ser Solas, the Arcane Advisor for the Inquisitor. Solas, this is Orana, a potential governess for Gaelathe. She worked for-”

Her eyes widened in realization and she rounded on Varric. “Is Hawke here? Can I meet her?”

Varric hesitated but nodded. “Alright, Princess.” 

Emma turned to pick up Gaelathe but found Solas had his hand on the baby’s head. She felt him cast something and the song of it sounded like protection and warning. He’d be able to tell in an instant if something happened.

“Perhaps Orana can watch over him while we are meeting Ser Hawke?” He suggested mildly but with a warning glance at her eyes.

She reined in her aura carefully and nodded. “Would you? We shouldn’t be gone long.” She asked Orana. “We can talk about details like pay and stuff when we get back?”

Orana nodded and curtseyed again. “Yes, ma’am.”

She hesitated, worried, but Solas moved to her side and gave her a reassuring smile. Varric glanced between them with a smirk but motioned for them to follow. “Well, come on then.”

He led them up the stairs and through the Rotunda, cutting through the main hall to get to the courtyard. Emma noticed Vivienne visibly startled as they passed, but she didn’t have time to wonder what that was about. She was going to meet Hawke! Varric took them up so many stairs to one of the corner battlements, where a familiar looking woman was leaning against a parapet and looking out over the valley.

“Hawke, I brought someone to meet you!” Varric said as they got close. “The Herald of Andraste herself.” 

Hawke turned to her and looked her over with a crooked grin. “The Herald herself, huh? I thought you’d be taller.”

Emma tried to suppress the surge of excitement that meeting Hawke caused, but she must have failed because the blood suddenly drained from Hawke’s face and she stepped back, her hand hovering over her daggers. 

“The fuck, Varric?” She hissed.

Varric actually took a step away from her. Emma tried not to feel hurt but… 

“Uh, Chuckles, what's wrong with Princess?”

Solas’ magic pressed against her, a calming song brushing against her own aura. “Nothing is wrong with her, Master Tethras.” His voice was even but his aura felt offended with a strange surge of protectiveness. “Emma is and always has been a mage. Her magic was simply blocked.”

Hawke narrowed her eyes. “I’ve seen that before and it was  _ not _ just a mage’s magic.” Something dark and red… nothing like Solas’ aura, tentatively brushed against hers before recoiling as if struck, but not before she felt a wave of heartbreak from the unfamiliar aura. Was that Hawke? Did she have magic? Was Hawke a mage?

“I’m not possessed.” Emma hugged her arms around herself. They thought she was… an abomination. Solas said they would but… Varric was her friend. “I just… I don't know-” She couldn't finish, her eyes burning with the threat of tears.

Solas’ hand came to rest on her shoulder, the touch increased the calming effect his aura had. “Calm yourself, deep breaths.” Emma nodded and looked down at the stone beneath her feet, breathing deeply as she listened to Solas address Varric and Hawke. “Emma is experiencing what many Mages do when their power first manifests. However, instead of erratic and uncontrollable magic manifestations, her willpower keeps her magic from lashing out.”

“Chuckles! Her eyes are glowing!” Varric’s voice sounded worried but also accusing. It hurt.

Solas made a noise that sounded almost like a growl. “Her power is manifesting itself the only way it safely can. Her eyes glow because she is feeling and seeing magic for the first time, but yet her control is beyond explanation. There is no spirit involvement.” 

“Fuck!” Hawke cursed and Emma looked up just in time to see the women scrub at her face. None of her color had returned yet. “Varric… just…. fuck.”

“Shit!” Varric straightened his back and immediately looked worried. “Curly hasn't seen her yet has he?”


	36. Chapter 36

The moment it seemed like Hawke was ok, Varric and Solas had herded her off of the battlements and back to her room: Varric making sure the coast was clear ahead of them and Solas murmuring reassuringly in elvhen that she was fine, but that she wasn’t leaving her room until she had her eyes under control. Part of her wanted to fight against being basically grounded, but then again, getting that reaction from Varric and Hawke had hurt and she didn’t want a repeat.

At least Varric was trying to be understanding. The way Hawke had eyed her as they left made Emma wonder if the Champion would ever feel comfortable around her. Maybe her relationship with Anders wasn’t so cut and dry as she had thought. In fact Varric never said in the book who she had romanced… but if she romanced Anders why would she…? No, her mind couldn’t handle that right now.

Solas informed the council that she now had magic and was adjusting to it so they wouldn’t worry, and ended up basically camping in her room for the next two days. He made her do breathing exercises and other things to try and stop her eyes from shining. Just when she felt like she’d made progress, something would happen to make her smile or laugh and she’d be right back where she started. It seemed like the only things that kept her eyes from shining was feeling sorry for herself or getting depressed. 

Orana kept Gaelathe for her most of the day. Solas had told the girl that she wasn’t feeling well and settled on a generous salary for her. It felt strange to let her take Gaelathe, In her head, Emma knew that Orana was trustworthy but still… Solas had to assure Emma at least a few time a day that Gaelathe was fine and that he would be able to tell if Orana wasn’t doing her job.

During her ‘house arrest’ Varric made sure to bring them meals. There wasn't much to do in her room, so mostly she sat on the floor with Solas doing exercises. He forbade her from casting any spells until she mastered keeping her aura under control. He kept testing her to see if she could keep her eyes from reacting.

He would cheat: sometimes he’d praise her, next he'd say something to make her laugh, but the sure fire way he’d found was to get her thinking of Gaelathe. It wasn't fair. She was- Her mom had always told her that she was emotions held together by skin. Trying to hide them was so far out of her nature she felt it was impossible. 

The third time in ten minutes he’d managed to make her slip up she groaned and stood up, only to go flop facedown onto her bed. “I give up. I’m going to be a hermit. I’ve decided.” 

Solas huffed a laugh and stood. “Perhaps we have practiced enough for now.” He conceded. “You could do with a distraction, a book from the library and coffee perhaps?”

Emma raised her head from her pillow and gave him a hopeful look. “Really?”

Solas gave her a look that let her know her eyes were shining again, as he turned to the door. “I will return shortly.”

Emma nodded as she pushed herself up into a sitting position and watched him close the door behind himself. She hugged her arms around her waist and looked around the room. Her emotions felt like they had been on a rollercoaster the last two days. On one hand, she felt elated that she could feel her magic, it was like the part of her that had always been missing had been found. On the other, now she was a prisoner because of it. Sure Solas was encouraging, happy for her even, but... why did her eyes shine like that?

She had read about new mages’ magic manifesting in the codex and accounts for books. They all involved things catching on fire or shattering when they are upset… never eyes shining.

A brisk knock on her door pulled her from her thoughts. She hesitated for a moment before taking a calming breath and pulling her aura tightly inside of herself.. she hated the feeling but the last thing she wanted was a repeat of Hawke and Varric’s reaction. 

She cracked open the door to find the runner she’d seen dashing in and out of Leliana’s haunt but had yet to catch their name. “The Nightingale requests your presence in the war room, Lady Herald.”

“Oh, thank you… um?” She asked, hoping he’d catch that she was asking for his name.

“Briggs, ma’am.” He saluted her, hand over heart. “Do you wish to send a response?”

She nodded at him, careful to keep her arua tightly wrapped in her chest. It didn’t feel natural to not smile at him or act friendly, but both of those things seemed to send her magic out. “Thank you, Briggs. Please tell the Nightingale I’ll be there shortly.”

“As you say.” He saluted again and turned on his heel.

As soon as she shut the door she let her aura go and gave a sigh of relief as it untangled itself. She chewed her lip as she debated if she should wait for Solas to come back before going but what if it was an emergency? What if something happened to Damon? She decided to write a note to explain where she went in case he came back while she was gone. If she was lucky she’d bump into him on her way there.

She jotted down the note. ‘Going to the war room, something came up.’ She folded it into a tent and stood it on her bed so that it would be clearly visible the moment he walked in. 

She took a deep breath and wrapped her aura around herself again, why was it so uncomfortable? And stepped out into the hallway. The walk there was uneventful, but uncomfortable. Everyone who saw her waved or smiled as she walked by, making her have to fight her aura and emotions that had her wanting to smile back. As wonderful as her magic was, she wasn’t sure it was worth it to have to stay flat and stoic like this.

There was an elven guard standing outside the hall that lead to the war room. He smiled at her and saluted as she passed and she hoped her head nod was sufficient. Uggggg why? Her aura fought her and she shut her eyes tightly just in case, taking the next few strides blindly. When she reached the door, she leaned against it as she wrangled her aura back into submission before entering.

Leliana looked up at her when she opened the door to the war room and gave her a small smile. “How are you feeling? Solas informed us the other day that you had come into your magic.”

Emma looked around the group nervously, wondering why Vivienne was there. “I’m well. He’s been helping me learn to keep it under control.”

“Is he far behind you? I sent for him as well since this concerns him.” As Leliana spoke, her eyes drifted in Vivienne’s direction.

Emma glanced over at the mage, who held her head high but didn't look at her. “Um… he should be here soon. He went to get me some coffee when your messenger came so I left him a note.”

“Excellent,” Josie exclaimed and motioned to Vivienne. “Madam de Fer has expressed concern over whether or not your introduction to magic is being handled properly.” She sent Emma an apologetic smile. “We informed her of Solas’ new position of Arcane Advisor but she insisted on speaking with you on the matter of your newfound magic.” 

Emma too k a subtle but deep breath to settle her aura. This was off script and she didn’t know how to be diplomatic very well. “What did you wish to speak about?”

“I was simply wondering how you are finding your tutelage under Solas. Being trained by an apostate must be… interesting.” 

It was frustrating and felt impossible, but she wasn’t about to tell Vivienne that. “He is a very patient teacher.”

“That is good to hear, darling.” She tilted her head and smiled perfectly. “My door is always open if you should wish to learn about your abilities from someone competent in the skill.”

Emma took another slow breath and coiled her aura tightly into her chest. “Solas is more than competent.”

“I’m sure he is as competent as you could wish, but darling, please think of how it appears for the Herald to be closed off in her room with a man, especially an  _ elven _ apostate. You should take more care with your image.” 

Did she just-?

Emma felt a flash of rage and tried to shove it down, but Cullen cursed and something sharp and searing battered through her chest, making her stagger and have to catch herself on the table. Her song was gone, the empty place where it sat was aching with all too familiar pain, sharper now that she knew what it felt like to be whole. Did he just Smite her?! She didn’t have time to process that because Vivienne’s knees gave out and Emma rushed to try and catch her, struggling under the taller woman’s weight as she guided her to a seat. The councilors seemed frozen in shock. 

Vivienne was barely slumped into the chair when Solas burst through the door, a sword in one hand and his other crackling with an electric green magic.

Emma felt an immediate wave of hysterical relief. “Oh crap, you went full Skyrim.” That was weirdly awesome.

His eyes flicked over her and his expression darkened. He turned enraged eyes towards Cullen, whose face was ashen and was staring at her with guilty horror. 

“You attacked her?” Solas’ voice had taken on that growl like quality that you only hear once in the game. 

Oh, Crap! She recognized that tone and jumped in front of him, holding her hands out to stop him. “Don’t! I slipped up! He just panicked! I’m fine!” 

Solas’ lips curled in a snarl and his eyes burned with murderous rage. “He. Attacked. You. I warned him your magic was manifesting oddly. I warned you!” He practically growled the last bit at Cullen as he took a step to pass her, his hand gripping the sword so tightly she thought it might have permanent indentations from his fingers.

“I…” Cullen’s voice sounded hollow and Emma could practically hear exactly where his head was going.

“Stop!” She put a hand on Solas’ chest, gripping the cords of the jawbone necklace he always wore to hold him back. Not that she thought she had a chance of stopping him if he actually decided to push her away, but she had to try. He did stop, but his eyes remained focused on Cullen. She turned to point at Cullen. “I know what I looked like to you. You thought I was possessed and reacted. You didn't hurt me. I’m okay, you didn’t hurt me.”

“How are you even standing?” Vivienne murmured, sounding exhausted and confused. 

Emma waved her off. “I’m used to it.” She felt Solas’ muscles tremble with barely contained rage under her palm and gave him a quick, grateful glance that he was allowing her to stop him.

Cullen gripped the hilt of his sword tightly, then glanced at Solas and moved his hands away from the weapon. He suddenly looked completely defeated. “He…” he squeezed his eyes closed and swallowed hard before he continued. “Is right. I did attack you. I must-”

“Don’t you dare!” She hissed at him. “You are not giving up your position over this! The Inquisition needs you!”

Solas moved and she twisted her fingers into his shirt, the leather cords of the necklace tangling over her wrist, hoping that he wouldn’t actually try to get around her because she would not be able to physically stop him if he really tried to get at Cullen.

Cullen’s jaw set but he looked away from her eyes. “I am obviously-”

“No! You’re not-” She glanced at the others, not wanting to air his secret and wishing she could order most of them out. She realized that she wasn’t in charge and latched onto the thought triumphantly. “You can’t do anything until Damon gets back. You can’t leave the Inquisition without a Commander while the Inquisitor is gone.” 

“Then call him back!” Cullen snapped then immediately ran both hands over his face before tugging at his hair. “Maker’s breath, Solas did warn me and I still attacked you before thinking.”

Emma sighed. “Did he warn you that my eyes glowed?” She glanced back at Solas. “Did you?” 

Solas’ jaw clenched but he remained silent. It was Josie who answered. “Ser Solas mentioned that your magic was manifesting oddly but only said that it was harmlessly visible and we should not be alarmed if we saw it.”

Emma exhaled sharply and looked up at Solas, shaking her head. She knew what it looked like, how people reacted but- “Really?” Before he could answer her, she turned to look at Cullen. “There you have it… you weren’t prepared and acted accordingly.” She felt Solas’ aura press against her angrily and was annoyed by the fact that she couldn’t respond to it or even bat it away. She settled with giving his chest a small shove.

“If the Inquisitor headed straight back he is maybe a week away.” Leliana said quietly. “However, this situation is a bit…. Delicate to put on a raven.” 

“How long for a messenger to reach him?” Josie asked as she tapped her quill against her clipboard absentmindedly.

“A messenger would take at least three days. More if they are moving quickly. A raven could be there in maybe a day and a half.”

Emma rubbed her aching chest, tugging insistently on Solas’ shirt when his aura flared, pressing with concern and anger. She really did need Damon back, both to keep Cullen from giving up and to hopefully figure out how to avoid a murder happy Solas and also how to deal with her… problem. “I- I can write a message that would have him rush back the minute he got it but even if it was intercepted no-one would understand.”

At Leliana’s nod, Josephine quietly slid a piece of paper and a quill onto the table, her eyes darting between Cullen and Solas with an expression Emma could only guess was trepidation. 

Emma tugged on Solas and breathed a quiet sigh of relief when he allowed himself to be moved by her, she didn’t dare release his shirt just yet. No until Cullen was at least out of his line of sight. She chewed her lip as she stared at the paper, trying to figure out exactly which phrase to use, which phrase would explain exactly how urgent it was without panicking him. She glanced at Solas, whose face was carefully controlled but whose eyes were still burning with rage. She knew exactly which phrase to use. She scribbled it down, put her name under it, and slid it towards Leliana. 

The spymaster picked it up and frowned in confusion. “You’re sure this is enough for him to understand?”

She nodded and released Solas’ shirt, immediately wrapping her fingers around his wrist, the one with magic still flickering between his fingers. The readied spell ended the second her skin touched his and his hand moved to twine with hers, gripping tightly. “Yes. It’s… he knows what it means.”

“Very well. Until the Inquisitor returns, we should attempt to carry on as normal.” Leliana said with a sharp glance at Cullen, who was leaning with both hands against the war table, head hanging.

“Yes. It would not do to have people thinking the Inquisition is fracturing.” Josephine said. “We should be able to keep up appearances for that long.”

Cullen straightened his shoulders. “In that case, I must return to work.” He started for the door, but hesitated and turned to Emma. “For what it is worth, I sincerely apologize.”

“Cullen.” His hand hovered over the handle of the door at her voice but he didn’t look up. “Don’t use it. I’ve Seen what will become of you if you do. Please don’t.” His shoulders stiffened before he straightened and saluted, still not looking directly at her, and left. Or escaped. She hoped he’d be okay.

“I’ll…” She hesitated. “I’ll keep to my room or lab as best as I can until Damon gets back.”

“I will continue to assist you with training your magic.” Solas said rigidly. 

Leliana nodded and looked over at Vivienne, who was still sitting weakly in her chair. “That would be best. I’ll send this off right away.” She tilted her head in a polite goodbye. 

Emma looked at Vivienne, who was watching her shrewdly from her chair. She sighed and released Solas since Cullen was now safely away, and went to the tea tray Josie always made sure was fresh for every meeting to pour her a cup. “Are you okay?” She asked quietly as she handed it to the older woman. 

Vivienne narrowed her eyes at her before sighing and taking the cup gratefully, obviously not finding anything that suggested Emma was trying to trick her. “Yes, dear. I will recover.” She paused before hesitantly asking. “ If I may ask, what did you mean when you said you were used to this?”

She shrugged. “It’s what I felt like everyday before I got my magic.” Solas’ aura pressed against her again, this time with decidedly less rage and more concern. She turned and took his hand as she headed for the door, towing him along behind her. He followed willingly enough, pausing only to silently return the sword to the elvhen guard standing at the end of the hallway. Huh, so that’s where he got it.

When they reached the corridor to her room, they were met by a frantic Orana holding a wailing Gaelathe. 

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know what’s wrong. He started screaming suddenly a few minutes ago and won’t stop. I went to find you, but the guards said you were busy in the war room.” The girl’s face was pale.

Emma instinctively stepped forward, releasing Solas’ hand so she could gather Gaelathe into her arms and press him to her chest. He whimpered and clutched her shirt, burying his face into her chest. She shushed him and pressed her lips to his head, turning to Solas for help. 

“Thank you, Orana. You did nothing wrong. We will care for him until he calms.” Solas gave Emma an unreadable look before taking her elbow and leading her to her room.

“Yes, Ser Solas.” Orana called after them in a relieved voice.

Once inside, with the door securely shut and a silencing spell over them, Solas exhaled a ragged breath and passed hands glowing with healing magic over her and Gaelathe.

“I felt-” He clenched his eyes shut and shook his head. “I felt your aura disappear suddenly, right after I found the note that said you would be walking into the room with the templar. I feared the worst.” He didn’t look at her eyes, instead passing his hand over Gaelathe’s head. “There is nothing wrong with him. I believe he may have felt it as well.” 

“I’m sorry.” She didn’t know if she was apologizing for worrying him or for failing to keep her aura under wraps and causing this whole mess. Both. She was apologizing for both. 

He studied her for a moment before stepping back and seemingly changing the subject. “That word you sent, if I may ask, what does it mean?”

“I… You’ll have to ask Damon.” She said quietly, hugging Gaelathe as he curled against her. “It means something more to him than it does to me. For me, it means I need help. If you want to know what it really means he can explain it right. It’s… it’s not my word to share.”

He nodded, accepting her non answer, and sat on the edge of her bed, dropping his head into both hands before rubbing them over his hair and looking up at her. “That was a foolish thing to do. You threw yourself between me and the object of my anger without thought.”

She shook her head at him. “It would have been really bad for you and everyone else if you had killed him.” She knew he would never hurt her. He might leave in the end, but he wasn’t going to hurt her physically. Okay, besides the arm. But that was necessary so she didn’t think it counted.

“And you do not wish to see him harmed.”

She shook her head and moved to sit next to him. “No, I don’t want him hurt.”

He frowned. “You know- you have hinted you know what I have done in my anger. Why would you put yourself in the direct path of it?”

“I knew you wouldn’t hurt me.” She smiled and looked down at Gaelathe who had reached up and caught some strands of her hair into his fist

“Do you?” He murmured so softly she wasn’t sure she heard him right. 

  
  


They had found the third person on the list that afternoon. Had… ‘dealt’ with them. Damon was pretending he didn’t have their names memorized. He had claimed first watch for tonight. Last… last time he had tried to sleep right after… it hadn’t gone well. He could pull another all nighter, hopefully be exhausted enough tomorrow night to sleep without waking up the whole camp with his own issues. 

He was trying to read the book of stars by the moon’s light, trying to memorize the constellations and find them. It wasn’t going well, too dark to decipher the intricate charts easily, but he didn’t mind. It was something to focus on. 

“It is me.” Cassandra’s voice murmured behind him. 

He startled, but didn’t pull a knife this time. Improvement. Yay. “Hey, Cass. Can’t be time to switch already.” He signed.

“No, it is not.” She hesitated. “May I sit with you?”

He nodded and shoved his book aside so she could take its place beside him. 

She settled next to him and glanced at him. “Is it a silent night again?”

He wavered his hand in the air and she nodded understandingly. They sat in silence for a few minutes. He alternated between staring at the stars and her, while she frowned at her hands. Eventually, he signed at her, “Are you alright?”

She huffed. “I find my own mind is unsettled tonight.”

“Talk?” He nudged her gently with his shoulder.

She studied his face for a long moment before nodding and looking back at her hands. “I had a brother.”

Past tense. Oh. He hesitantly moved his hands in a question. “What happened?”

“Anthony was older than I, a dragon hunter who showed what a Pentaghast could truly be. I idolized him. I wanted to hunt dragons as he did, even though our uncle forbade it. Anthony promised to train me in secret. We would hunt together one day, brother and sister vanquishing the beasts of old. And then he died on me.” Her jaw set like she was facing up for a fight. Probably one in her own head.

He circled his fist over his chest in apology. He couldn’t imagine… if Em… He shouldn’t have asked.

She shook her head. “No, it’s fine.” She inhaled deeply and continued. “A group of apostates wanted dragon blood, and wanted Anthony to get it for them. He refused, and they killed him for it. In front of me. I begged the Chantry to let me become a templar. Instead, they sent me to the Seekers. It took many years to let go of my drive for vengeance.”

“Shit. I can understand that.” He made himself say the words out loud. His throat still felt tight but she needed to know he understood.

“At times I could not breathe; the rage nearly choked me.” She shook her head at him. “You do not have to force yourself to speak.” She was silent a long moment before she continued. “I sometimes wonder how different my life would be if Anthony was still alive. Would I be a dragon hunter? Married to some noble fool, a mother of three? I cannot say. I take solace in believing the Maker has a plan, but… He is not always kind.”

Damon nodded thoughtfully and leaned over to press his shoulder against hers. She let out a sigh and leaned back into him. They watched the clouds passing over the moons for a while before she spoke again.

“How did you deal with losing your parents?”

He shuddered and shook his head, signing with sharp, abrupt movements. “I failed. Crashed and burned.”

She frowned, considering. “And then you gave yourself a promise and put yourself back together.”

He smoothed a thumb over his ink and huffed wryly. He didn’t feel back together, but yeah. “Your brother would be proud of you.” 

“And your parents would be proud of you.” She bumped into his shoulder when he started to disagree. “They would. They have much to be proud of.”

“Thank you.”

Footsteps behind them had Damon reaching for his knife, but Cassandra put a hand over his arm, stilling him.

“My turn, Boss.” Bull rumbled quietly. “Take the damn potion and get some sleep.”

“Stay out of my stuff, Bull.” He rubbed his eyes with the hand that Cassandra was not touching. 

“Sera’s the snoop, not me.” 

“Mmhmm.” He wished he had that hand-wavy stuff Solas used to keep people out of things.

Cassandra squeezed his arm gently and got to her feet. She hesitated and awkwardly signed. “If you need, wake me and I will sit with you.”

He smiled softly as he stood. He was ninety percent sure he was in love by now. He touched his fingertips to his chin and brought them down in thanks before grabbing his book and leaving a smirking Bull to stand watch.

He didn’t take the potion that night, didn’t even pull it out of his bag to look at it. But still, he managed a few hours of sleep before the nightmares had him stumbling out of his tent in a cold sweat just as the sky started to grey with impending dawn. Close enough to daylight for him. 

He ignored the significant look that Bull gave him and instead set about starting up the fire for a hot breakfast. They could break camp right after and head off for the Exalted Plains. While he waited for the fire to burn into a steady heat, he rummaged through his bag and pulled out the near finished dragon tooth he had been working on carving for months now. All he had left was to plait the cord to hang it from. He glanced at the sky and decided he had enough time before people started stirring. 

He’d managed to wrap the tooth into the leather string exactly how he wanted and was plaiting the ends into a cord when Bull walked by him, pausing mid stride as he passed. 

“What’s that you got there, Boss?” Bull’s voice had a strange tone and Damon glanced up at him curiously. 

“Gift.”

Bull’s eyebrows rose and he made an amused sound in his chest. “I see that. For who?”

Damon’s glance at Cass’ tent was enough of an answer for Bull. 

He laughed and clapped a hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. “It’s about time.”

Damon huffed in confused amusement and finished plaiting the cord while Bull ducked into his tent. He stuffed the necklace into the soft bag he’d been carrying it around in and shoved it into his pack. Time to cook. 

By the time people started tumbling out of their tents, he had enough oatcakes made to keep them busy and their hands off of the griddle. Sera seemed to have a perpetual bandage around her fingers from burning herself while stealing food from the pans. 

They ate, he did too, packed up the camp, and headed back out on the road. After a while, Damon noticed that Sera and Dorian had their heads together and were looking distinctly like they were plotting. 

He narrowed his eyes suspiciously and called back to them. “What you two up to?” 

Dorian smiled brilliantly. “We were discussing the possibility of convincing you to favor us with another tale. The road is long and boring, and I fear that Sera might take to singing to pass the time.”

“Polite, flattering, and a threat all rolled into one.” Damon made an impressed face. 

Dorian made a half bow over his mount’s neck. Cassandra subtly nudged Prince to walk closer to MoFo so she could hear better. Damon rolled his eyes.

“Listen, I told a story from my dad last time, so it’s only fair I tell one from my mom this time, but I gotta warn you: all of hers are kinda dark.”

Bull shrugged. “I’m interested.”

He waited for the whole group to agree before he rolled his shoulders. This one should get them to stop asking him. “Once upon a time, there was a woman who walked the woods alone. One night she came across a small, abandoned wolf cub. She took it home with her and nursed it back to health, raising it inside her house and sharing her food with it. Her neighbors feared the wolf and demanded that she collar and muzzle it, for surely it would snap and return to it’s wild nature and tear her apart.”

Bull glanced sharply at him but Damon just shrugged. He’d warned them. “She refused and continued to live alongside the wolf, even letting it lay near her babe while she worked. Eventually, word reached the ruler of the land of the woman who lived with a wolf. A rich man complained to him of the dangerous creature, and the ruler sent word to her commanding her to collar and chain the beast. “

“She refused, arguing that the wolf was perfectly safe and her friend. The ruler said that if she would not chain it, then she must prove she truly trusted the beast and must leave her child with the wolf to stand guard and come to him. They would return to her home together and see if the wolf was truly safe. She agreed to prove it, and set her child in their crib and asked the wolf to stand guard.”

“That’s just stupid.” Sera made a face.

“I’m telling a story for little kids, Sera.”

“Fiine.”

“Anyway, she traveled to the ruler and led him back to her home. When she reached the pathway however, the wolf came running towards them, blood covering its jaws and paws. ‘See! It has murdered your child!’ The ruler cried and immediately drew his sword and killed the wolf.”

Bull made a satisfied sounding growl, like he had been proven right about something.

“The woman ran the rest of the way home and found the door to her house laying in splinters. Inside, covered in blood, was a dragonling laying dead next to the crib where her child safely slept.” He stopped there, exactly where his mom had always ended it.

“That cannot be it.” Dorian frowned. “How does it end?”

“My mom always stopped there. She said that how it ended depended on the kind of person who told it and that I had to decide my own ending. My dad always said that the ruler learned from his mistakes and became a better leader. My uncle said that the woman immediately killed the ruler and took his place. Emma says that the woman took her child and ran into the woods, and as the years passed the ruler found that none of his armies or men could enter the woods without fear of being devoured because of the Women who ran with Wolves.”

“And how does it end for you?” Cassandra asked curiously. 

He hesitated. He’d been told many times that his version of the end was a bit disconcerting. “And when the woman saw that the wolf had been wrongfully killed, she turned to the ruler and pointed at him and said, ‘By the innocent blood of my friend, his ghost will follow you for eternity, watching, waiting. Every time you act on your fear or prejudice instead of the truth, he will steal something you love as you have stolen mine.’ And with that curse laid on him, she gathered up her child and returned to the skies as the moons. And forever more the ruler felt the hot breath of a wolf that no one could see against the back of his neck, reminding him of her curse. The end.”

“Shiiiiit, you get scary.” Sera grimaced. “I like Weirdy’s ending better.”

“I warned y’all.” He huffed quietly.

Dorian narrowed his eyes and glanced between Damon and Bull. “It seems a bit... pointed.”

“All stories are. Sometimes the point is just sharper for some than others.” He shrugged. “Even Em’s love stories got a point.”

“In your ending, she did not get vengeance.” Cass said thoughtfully. “She simply gave him the power to decide whether he would be punished or not, and how severely. She gave him the chance to do well.”

“Yeah.” 

Bull grunted thoughtfully but didn’t comment.

Cassandra frowned up at the sky and pulled Prince to a halt. “I think there is a- Yes, there is a raven above. Let me call it down.”

Damon tugged MoFo’s reins and slid off of him when he stopped. When he turned to Cassandra she was holding a massive raven on her arm and untying a note from its leg. She lifted her arm and it hopped onto her shoulder, picking at her hair as she scowled at the note. 

“It is from Leliana and the Herald, but it is just a nonsense word.”

“Lemme see.” He took the note and felt his heart drop in dread. “Shit. Shitshitshit.” He dropped the note and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Cass, I’m so sorry and I promise we will finish this for you soon as we can, but we need to go back to Skyhold right now.” 

“What’s wrong, Boss?” Bull asked.

He swung into his saddle and shook his head. “Dunno yet but it’s an emergency.”

Cass dug in her pockets and produced a scrap of paper and charcoal, scrawling a short note and tying it to the raven’s leg. The bird croaked and launched itself into the air at her quiet command. “I sent word that we are headed back.”

“Rag or rocks? How’s that supposed to mean emergency?” 

Damon glanced at Sera, who had somehow picked up the note he’d dropped and was tilting her head left and right curiously. Dorian plucked it out of her hands and frowned. 

“Question mark, rag-nar-ok, question mark? You and the Herald have more than one secret language of your own if that is all it takes to send us scurrying back.”

Damon clutched the reins tightly. “We need to hurry.” He said desperately. Normally he’d be okay with playing up how weird he and Em was, but right now she needed him and he was so far away.

Cassandra swung onto Prince and nodded grimly. “Then we will.”


	37. Chapter 37

He’d pushed the horses hard the last few days, he knew it wasn't good for them but he couldn't calm the dread in his gut. He had to get back, soon. He never should have left Emma behind. He should have just gotten his shit together and been there to protect her. Now something had happened that had her worried about the end of the world and he was too far away from Skyhold to help. 

The initial panic from the note never subsided, but instead morphed into steady stress that ate at him even as he tried to keep on functioning. He wasn’t doing a great job of it, kept pushing himself and the others until they were ready to collapse in exhaustion and stopped for the night. They didn’t take the time for campfire meals in their rush, instead eating the supplies cold and on horseback, mostly dried meats. Cass and Bull had teamed up to keep him eating, it just kept slipping his mind. Or… if he was honest with himself, which he rarely was, he was punishing himself for leaving Em behind. Dorian and Sera kept the mood light fairly well during the day, despite their grueling travel pace, but Damon had too many hours to fret at night. 

The first night they’d stopped after getting the note was the worst… his terrors woke the whole camp. Cass had had to talk him down and awake. Apparently he’d had his knife out. Bull suggested he take the sleeping draught again but he still couldn’t bring himself to do it. He knew it wasn’t the same thing, but his brain still recoiled at it. 

The next few nights he’d jolt awake what felt like mere minutes after his eyes closed, memories of his murders, his greatest fuck up and failure still haunting him, and worry over Emma melding together into dreams that had his heart pounding and hands shaking as he clutched his wrist and made the ink remind him that he’d made it and would again. 

By the fourth night he had crossed that threshold of exhaustion to where he couldn't sleep even it he tried, so tonight he was sitting watch. Was supposed to be Dorian’s turn, but someone should be able to sleep tonight anyway.

He turned the dragon tooth necklace over in his hands, inspecting the scrollwork around the lines of script. Anything to get his mind off of what could be wrong with Emma. It had turned out pretty good, even in his opinion. He was especially pleased with the way the verses he had picked out was so clear and easy to read, even in the dim light. It had been tough to carve that deeply and still keep the fine linework, but there it was. Now he just had to get up the nerve to actually give it to Cass. Everytime he thought about it his heart dropped with the thought that she might laugh or tell him to fuck off. He didn’t think she would, not really, but the fear was still there. She meant a lot to him. More than he had realized at first. 

Speaking of… He turned his head towards the sound of quiet footsteps approaching from the camp. Ever since that night in the Hinterlands, Cass always seemed to show up when he was outside and sleepless. He had a feeling she checked if he was up throughout the night. There wasn’t really another explanation for how she unerringly showed up when his head was keeping him out. The fact that she kept looking out for him night after night made his chest feel less like he was being crushed beneath his own mess.

“Bad night?” She murmured as she dropped to sit next to him.

“Not too bad. Head’s fine. Just can’t sleep.” He gave her a small smile. “You?”

She shook her head. “I just saw that you were up again.”

“Thanks. ‘S easier with you.” He felt a little guilty that he kept her up so much, but she really did smooth out the sharp edges of his mind.

Cassandra smiled softly before her eyes dropped to the necklace in his hands. “What is that?”

He chewed his lip nervously before replying. “It’s a gift for someone.”

Her eyes cut to him curiously. “Who? It looks quite significant.”

“There’s a woman. She’s strong, deadly, beautiful, full of faith, pretty much the most amazing person I’ve met. I made this to give to her. It’s kinda like her.” He held up the necklace by the cords, letting it spin in the faint moonlight for her to look at.

“It’s beautiful.” She said quietly. “When will you give it to her?”

Instead of answering, he coiled the necklace up and pressed it into her hand. She inhaled abruptly and looked at him with wide eyes. “Me?”

He looked away, embarrassed, and nodded. 

“Maker, you’re being shy. That-” Her hand rested on his forearm. “You were being shy? With me?”

“Yeah.” He winced. “I’m not… I don’t know how to do this right. I’ve… I’ve been holding onto that for a while now because I don’t know how to- Been trying to find the right words, the pretty ones that you deserve. But I can’t find them, so all I have is this.” He reached out and tapped the tooth with one finger. “I spent months on this, trying to get it to look like how I see you. Fierce and beautiful.”

She turned it over in her hands before reading the verses aloud. “ _ Blessed are they who stand before the corrupt and the wicked and do not falter. Blessed are the peacekeepers, the champions of the just. Now her hand is raised _ ,  _ A sword to pierce the sun. With iron shield she defends the faithful. Let chaos be undone.” _

“It truly is beautiful. It is one of my favorite parts of the Chant.”

”I know.” He said quietly. “Half of why I picked it.”

She exhaled softly and looked at the sky. “I think you are doing well. Meaningful gifts by moonlight and honest compliments.” She smiled and held the necklace out to him. “You should put it on me.”

He moved onto his knees so he could slip the cord over her head, adjusting the tooth pendant so it rested in the center of her chest. He sat back on his heels and looked at her, enjoying her smile. He really was head over heels.

“It looks good on you.” His voice cracked with emotion at his internal revelation. “You make it look good.” 

She blushed but reached out and took one of his hands in hers, twining their fingers together. He moved so they were sitting side by side, shoulders pressed together as they looked out into the night. She rested her head on his shoulder and his stomach fluttered excitedly. She actually liked him back! He rested his chin on her hair and let out a long, relieved, happy, nervous breath that released most of the tension in his spine. 

They sat in their easy, comfortable silence. It felt right. She felt right. He could see himself here beside her forever if she’d let him. If she really did feel the same way, if they did this right and went in for the long haul, he’d need to tell her the truth about himself and where he came from. He couldn’t keep that away from her. He couldn’t let her believe a lie. It wouldn’t be easy, but he wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he tried to pass himself off as something he wasn’t to her. 

Not tonight though. They stayed there, leaning against one another, long enough for Damon to start dozing off, listing towards Cassandra as his body relaxed. She touched his arm, fingers brushing over his tattoo softly. “Go back to your tent and sleep. I will stand watch.”

He started to shake his head, he could stand up and be fine, but she shoved him lightly. “Sleep.”

He obeyed, staggering to his feet and squeezing her shoulder as he moved past her and back to camp. “As you wish.”

She inhaled sharply and he heard a quiet. “Oh.” As he walked away.

Exhaustion, relief, and a slightly giddy sense of happiness had him falling asleep practically the second his head hit his bed roll. His dreams were tumultuous, but he didn’t wake until movement outside his tent dragged him to awareness. He heard the sounds of people taking down their tents and sat up, rubbing his eyes and taking a moment to orient himself in reality. Sera was humming loudly and Dorian was grumbling at her without real heat. Someone was carrying a saddle. He could hear the buckles clinking in time with their footsteps.

“Suns up. Go wake your Kadan so we can get moving.” Bull said, his tone smug.

Damon froze. What was Bull doing?

“What is a Kadan?” Cassandra asked.

“He didn’t tell you when he gave you that? Weird. You’d think he’d tell you what it means when he gave that necklace to you and made you his Kadan.”

_ ‘Made you his-’  _  Damon’s mind halted that thought and his chest clenched as he realized exactly why Bull had been weird about the necklace. Fuck, he should’ve asked more questions! Bull should’ve known he didn't know so why’d he-?

“You devious motherfucker.” Damon yelled and burst out of his tent. “You-” He stopped and scrubbed his face with his hands, trying to shove his temper down and think before he swung. “Fuck.” He’d fucked up. He hadn’t known and now- Now Cass was looking at him with a confused expression and he- “Cass, we gotta talk.”

She frowned, a shadow of suspicion on her face as she glanced between him and Bull. 

Bull, for his part didn't look surprised and even went as far as throwing Damon a wink before moving towards the horses. That meddling bastard! But he didn't have time to be angry at Bull, right now he needed to clear things up with Cass, explain what was going on. 

“Please, Cass.” He sounded a bit desperate, even to his own ears, and she pressed her lips together but nodded and followed him into the trees. 

The second he figured they were far enough away to have a bit of privacy, and if he caught one of those fuckers spying he was going to straight up stab them, he stopped and turned to Cassandra. 

“What is a Kadan, Damon?” Her voice was flat and he flinched.

“It… it means ‘my heart’. I was told it’s like… it’s like the qunari way of saying ‘you’re the only one for me’.”

She looked shocked, her eyes wide and her ears flushed red. “And your necklace, it is saying I am yours?”

“Apparently. He… he didn’t tell me that part.”

Her face hardened. “So you did not mean to declare your heart? It was a mistake?” 

He held up his hands, desperate that she not misunderstand. Please, if any gods could hear him, please don't let her misunderstand. “No, Cass! I just- Listen, please. I didn’t know what it meant when I gave it to you, but now that I do- Now that I know what it means I wish I had given it to you right! Shit, something like that, something that big needs, I don’t know, flowers and candles and poetry and shit. Instead I just gave it to you in the middle of the night and didn’t know what I was even saying.”

Cassandra gasped softly. “Damon-”

He held up a hand stopping her. “No, wait.” He ran a hand over his face. “Shit, Cass. I was trying to do this right, do you right. Take it slow, gifts and romance, get to know you. I’m… I’m all in but we didn’t, we didn’t talk. Hell, I don’t know if you’d even be okay with me long run. I’ve got a kid, I’m raising a kid with my sister and best friend. Would you even be okay with that? Are you okay with a kid and my not-sister tagging along with the mess I am? I’ve got a fucked up head and secrets. Big secrets.” He exhaled sharply and wrapped his fingers around his inked wrist, holding on to steady himself. “I- I’m all in for you, Cass, but before you make that kinda choice you gotta know the truth about me.” 

Cassandra looked confused but straightened her shoulders. “Then speak. Let me decide.”

Fuck. She wouldn’t believe him. He wouldn’t believe him. He hesitated, trying to make himself think things through before speaking. It was too open here and he’d bet anything Sera or Bull were just out of sight. “If- I can’t tell you here. I’m… It involves Emma too. Can you- would you be willing to wait until we get to Skyhold and I can have her help me explain?” 

Cassandra made a frustrated noise as she reached for the cords of the necklace. His heart clenched. “Wait.” He asked softly. “I gave it to you and I’m not asking for it back. Just… hold onto it until you know if you want my heart on your chest or not.” 

Cassandra stilled, her face softening. “I was… putting it out of sight.”

He exhaled softly and closed his eyes. “That’s… thanks. I’m sorry I fucked this up like this. You deserved better.” 

She tucked the necklace under her armor and looked at him, her expression confused, but he could tell she was trying to understanding. “I will wait but… Damon, I believe you do not see the value of your heart.”

He gave her a half smile, relieved beyond words she was giving him a chance. “It’s worth as much as it means to the person holdin’ it.” 

Her lips parted and she stared at him for a long moment before setting her jaw in determination. “Let us move on. I find myself eager to return.” 

  
  
  


 

 

 

      Dagna had finished the microscope and Leliana sent her a note, letting her know that her lab was set up and both Harritt and Dagna had been made aware of her… condition, and a promise to Solas to keep all ex-Templars to the barracks or training fields, well away from Emma.

    Despite this, she was still nervous about their reactions when Solas escorted her down to the underforge that morning. She hugged her bag of samples to herself as they walked down the steps. She’d expected that at the very least the Dwarf would be wary of her. She didn’t expect the blinding smile she got as the little woman practically skipped towards her.

     “I finished it. The design was easy to follow. Tested it out too and the things I saw…” her voice took on a tone of awe. “I wonder why no one thought of this before? Well, sailors, of course, have their spyglasses and this is really just a much better spyglass, except it’s for things close up. I’m working on a better model design but this should get you going. Do you know how much the university would pay for something like this?” She then paused and rubbed her neck. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

       Emma felt herself start to smile and shut her eyes tightly as she tried to rein in her aura, trying not to scare anyone. They might have been told but still… “Dagna, you’re amazing! Thank you!”

       There was silence for a moment before Dagna said anything, and Emma worried that she hadn’t shut her eyes in time. But when she did speak, she didn’t sound nervous or frightened. Instead, she sounded concerned and a bit curious. “The Nightingale said your eyes glowed when you were happy. You don’t have to hide them… honestly, I think that’s pretty neat and it’d be a lot easier. I'm terrible at judging people’s reactions.” Well that was…. Emma cracked her eyes open tentatively to find Dagna smiling giddily at her. “Wow, that’s actually really pretty! You really are excited then? Don’t mind Harritt, he said he doesn't mind but he’s not a talker.”

       Emma couldn’t help herself, she laughed and her aura unwound itself from the cage she had carefully crafted. Solas’ aura pressed against hers and she could tell that he was definitely pleased with Dagna’s response to her magic.

       “Thank you for your understanding, Mistress Dagna.” Solas said, tilting his head towards her. 

       The dwarf laughed and waved a hand at him dismissively, “It’s just Dagna.” She waved them towards the corner where they had set up her lab. There was a desk with a long table laid out next to it. “Everything's over here. The drafts had pieces of flat glass and other things along side it so I whipped a bunch of those up for you too.” 

        Emma followed her to the desk and gasped as the dwarf pulled a cloth off of the microscope… a real microscope! Damon had modified it to use mirrors and candles instead of an LED light and it was a bulkier than her old one, but everything was there. “Oh Dagna, It’s perfect!” She gushed as she ran her fingers over it.

         She turned to find Dagna smiling at her brightly. “Your eyes are glowing so you really must like it.” She exclaimed, happily bouncing on her heels.

        “I do!” Emma assured her and bent down giving the woman a hug, who returned it without flinching. “Thank you!”

        Dagna laughed. “If you want to thank me, send more of these designs my way. It was a lot of fun and gave me some ideas for other things I’d like to try.” 

        “You’ve got it!” Emma promised as she pulled away.

         Dagna smiled and waved. “I have some things that I promised the Nightingale I’d get right on after your Scope was made so I’ll let you get to your research, call me if you need anything.”

         Emma nodded and eagerly slipped into the chair they had set up in front of the microscope and began fishing out her samples from her bag and laying them out neatly on the desk. The candles set next to the little mirrors lit up and Emma turned her head to find Solas smiling, clearly more relaxed than earlier.

         “You seem to be in good hands here.” He commented as he looked around. Herritt had paid them absolutely no mind at all since they entered the underforge and was sitting at his workstation sketching out what she assumed was new armor designs. “I have some research of my own to attend.” He informed her then stepped forward and continued in a lower voice. “I will return periodically to check on you. If you have need, search out my aura and I will come.” He stepped back and smiled. “I’ll collect you for the noontime meal.”

         She smiled at him gratefully, it was sweet that he was so protective of her right now but it was also kinda suffocating. That he was stepping back from her and showing a bit of trust to let someone else around her was a relief. He must have really liked Dagna. “Okay, I’ll see you soon then.”

        He smiled back and his aura pressed against hers. It carried a pleased feeling and also a farewell of sorts with the promise of return. She sucked in a breath. “You know that’s really cool how it does that. How do you put the feelings into it?” 

        Solas chuckled. “Think of your aura as another voice only you and those you choose can hear.”

          She thought about it for a second before pushing her own aura towards his, she tried to think of it as asking for confirmation. Did she get it right? By Solas’ wide smile she could tell that she had succeeded. “Well done.”

         Solas left her there to work. She donned a pair of thin leather gloves she had gotten just for this reason, before transferring drops of blood to the slides Dagna had made and labelling them. They weren’t the disposable latex gloves she would have preferred for this job, but it would have to work. She was delighted to find that the microscope worked perfectly with a few minor adjustments. Dagna really was a genius! First step was to see if she could identify the blight contaminate. By comparing Felix’s blood with the darkspawn sample she was able to see some similarities that could be the germ. Now to isolate it....

         True to his word, Solas returned around lunch to check on her and take her to eat. It really hadn’t seemed like that much time had passed but after cleaning up she allowed herself to be dragged to the garden for the quick lunch he had set up for them. He didn’t want her in the dining hall until he was certain she could contain her aura.

         He laughed at her as she gobbled down her lunch, eager to get back to work and knowing he wouldn’t let her skip. But she didn’t care if she had food on her face. If this worked… she would be able to save Felix, she’d still be a long way from a cure for the general public, would need to figure out a more broadly applicable treatment, but still…

        After they ate, Solas escorted her back to the underforge, not willing to let her make the trip alone and take the chance of something happening on the way to make her aura flair. She went straight back to work as soon as they got back, much to his amusement and he left her again with the promise to return in time for the evening meal.

      Emma pulled her eyes from the microscope lens and pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. It was late, Dagna and Harrett had already called it quits for the day, leaving her alone in the underforge trying to figure out what to do. 

     The day had started out promising: Fiona's blood did have properties that resisted the darkspawn bloods taint. Within ten minutes her blood had completely neutralized the tainted sample Emma had introduced, whereas Leliana's just resisted it, keeping it separated but the taint remained present. She made a note to try and isolate the exact reasons later.

     She tested Felix’s blood sample for compatibility with Fiona and Leliana’s. They had both clotted. She tried several times hoping she was wrong but the results remained the same. Their blood types were just too different.

    She was tossing around the idea of separating the plasma and seeing where that would take her when she felt a familiar pressure against her aura and heard a throat cleared at the top of the steps.

    She looked up to see Solas carrying a tray. “I thought you would prefer to take your meal here this evening.” He explained as he brought the tray over and set it down on the empty table next to her desk. It was a roast, potatoes and a roll, with a steaming cup of cider. It smelled divine. Her stomach betrayed just how hungry she was with a loud rumble. 

     Solas chuckled as she pulled off her gloves and waved his hand at the wash basin that was carved into the wall not far away. Dagna had figured out the pipes running through the underforge and gotten it working shortly after arriving at Skyhold. They were still in the process of checking the rest of the pipes throughout the keep and trying to figure out the mechanisms or magic or whatever that moved the water upstairs, but a few wash stations were set up already. “Wash up.”

    “Thank you!” She said enthusiastically as she rushed to the basin and scrubbed her hands with the lye soap she had brought down with her. After she dried her hands she walked back to snatch up the roll, tearing a small piece off before dipping it into the juices from the roast and popping it into her mouth. “I lost track of time.” She said around the bite.

     Solas smiled. “Seems to be a theme with both you and Damon.” 

     She shook her head, laughing, and some of her hair escaped from her makeshift bun and fell in her face. She really missed elastic bands. Leather ties just didn’t cut it. 

She made a noise of frustration and put down her roll to try and put some semblance of order to back her hair and keep it out of her face.

    Solas chuckled at her fumbling attempts and batted her hands away as he moved to stand behind her. “Here, allow me.”

     Emma gave up, giving him a grateful smile as she snatched a small potato from the tray. She was starting to get used to his affectionate side, his little touches and casual hand holding happened frequently enough that she was just about broken from getting flustered or embarrassed. His hands combed through the strands of her hair, separating them into sections. She sat and ate quietly as he worked, his hands gently lulling her into relaxing from the hundreds of questions and ideas her day of work had brought up.

     When he finished, he made a satisfied hum and stepped back. “There, that should keep it out of your way while you work.”

      Her hands went to explore his work. Four delicate braids pulled the top half of her hair back, keeping it safely away from her face while the rest fell freely down her back. It reminded her of the hairstyles for elves in The Lord Of The Rings. She grinned at him. “Thank you!” 

      “My pleasure.” He smiled back and turned to the vials on the table and peered through the microscope lens. “How is your research going?”

     Emma took a sip of the cider before answering. “Fiona’s blood has the most immunity to the blight and can fight back, while Leliana’s simply has a high resistance to it. Problem is, neither of their blood types are compatible with Felix’s. Back in my world we were able to identify and categorize blood types and so we could cure a lot illnesses and save a lot of lives. I was hoping that if Fiona could give Felix some of her blood, that immunity would transfer over to him as well, crude but possible in a time crunch, but…” she waved at a few test slides she had set aside. “The blood is clotting. Felix’s blood won't accept Fiona's.”

    “So If I understand the problem correctly, their blood is simply not compatible? One is rejecting the other?" Solas asked almost absently as he gazed into the microscope.   
    "Exactly that." Emma sighed and rubbed her temples. “I'm thinking about separating the plasma in the blood… that’s the liquid part of the blood that carries cells and proteins through the body.” She explained quickly. “To see if that will work but… I’d need a centrifuge and Damon isn’t here to draft one up and I don’t know how to explain what it is to Dagna.” She let out a frustrated groan. “I don't know, the last thing I want is to subject him to the joining but if that's his only chance…”

    “Hmm," Solas hummed, then raised a finger. "Has the thought of using magic to persuade them to join properly not occurred?"   
         Magic?! Emma sat up suddenly in her chair.   "Is that… That's possible?"   
         Solas gave her a wide grin and waved his hand over the two vials of blood marked with Felix and Fiona's names. “During the great wars we tried learn how to save our soldiers who were suffering from blood loss. Magic can seal a wound but not replace the blood lost.” He took the dripper and deposited a drop of each onto a clean slide. He must have been watching her work and she hadn’t noticed him somehow.  “We learned that each individual’s blood was different and learned how to persuade them. Observe." He placed the slide under the microscope lense and gestured for her to look.   
         Emma immediately peered into the scope: the blood mixed seamlessly, no clotting. Nothing. She let out a squeal and threw her arms around his waist hugging him tightly. She couldn't believe it. He did it!

She pulled back to grin up at him, opening her mouth to gush about how great this was, when his hands suddenly went to her face, thumbs brushing her cheeks as he bent down and pressed his mouth to hers.

He was- but he- Her eyes were wide with shock as she realized that he really was kissing her. Her?! But-! He must have felt her lack of response because he suddenly pulled away and let go of her face. He looked panicked and his mouth opened with what was no doubt an apology as he took a step backwards. But she didn’t want an apology. He kissed her first. That meant- 

She lunged out of the chair, wrapping one hand around the back of his neck and the other around the cords of his necklace, and dragged him back in for a desperate kiss. She felt a sigh of relief against her lips and his hands went to her waist and hair, fingers twisting into it as his mouth moved against hers with a hungry intensity. There was a moment where she felt like she was spinning, then she realized he was turning them around. She feared that he would pull away so she moved closer, intending to press against him and not let him leave. She never wanted this to end. She must have overbalanced him because he sat down heavily in the chair she had left, a hand going to her waist to drag her down with him and she went so very willingly, impulsively moving to straddle his lap to get even closer. Close enough that she could feel his aura against her skin, could taste it on his lips. She chased after it eagerly, drawing him even closer, tangling her aura around his. 

He gasped against her mouth and she could feel his pulse racing under her fingers, matching her own frantic heart. His aura responded to hers, wrapping and tangling with hers eagerly. It felt starved almost, desperate as it clung to hers. This was impossible and wonderful and- he pulled back, breaking them apart and pressing his forehead to hers as they shakily breathed in each other’s air.

“Ma’fenor elvar’asha, ma eolasa tel’ahn ma’en.” He murmured, his fingers clutching possessively at her.  _ My precious, difficult woman, you know not what you do. _

She laughed softly, giddy with pleasure at his words, and stole another sparking kiss. Again, he responded with with an intensity that spoke of pure hunger. His hand moved from her hair and rested on her wrist, her skin tingling with the contact as he drew it to his mouth and pressed his lips to the sensitive skin of her inner wrist.

“Emma,  _ ma’emma’lath _ , your magic touches everything you do.” He whispered against her wrist before looking up at her. She inhaled softly at the sight of his eyes shimmering an electric green. “Ma sulahn em.”  _ You sing to me. _

She bit her lip, embarrassed, but couldn’t even consider trying to draw her aura in right now. “Sorry.”

He closed the distance between them and nipped at her lip, his magic flaring against hers when she moaned at the sensation. He huffed softly and his aura flared with satisfaction. “How long I’ve wanted to do that.”

He dropped his head to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, breathing deeply before placing feather light kissed against the skin he found there, all the while his aura danced with hers. She shivered and instinctively tilted her head back to allow him at her throat. 

She made a small noise of protest when he pulled away before she was ready for him to stop, she was never going to be ready for him to stop, and he laughed softly, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek softly. “You are so beautiful.” He whispered before claiming her mouth again. The kiss was… soft yet intense… Solas’ aura flaring with sincerity and... But those words… ‘ _ you are so beautiful.’  _  Emma felt dread settle in her stomach and it must have bled into her aura because he pulled away to give her a concerned look. “ _ Emma’lath?” _

She looked away for a moment to gather herself before she spoke. “Solas, this isn't… it’s not… it's not because I have magic now is it?”

Solas’ aura closed tightly around hers, almost as if he was afraid she would withdraw it from him. “No and yes.”

The dread in her stomach twisted and she sat up, releasing her hold on him. His arms tightened around her. 

“Please, let me finish.”

She stilled at the plea and waited. She felt a brush of relief from his aura.

“No, because I have desired you since... “ He hesitated. “I have wanted since long before your magic.”

“And yes?” She couldn’t keep the hope out of her voice. 

“And yes because,” his eyes closed as if he were trying to rein himself in. “Your magic sings to mine, calls it with a song that leaves me intoxicated. Your power shines when I enter the room and I began to dare hope it was for me.” 

He sagged against her, burying his face in the crook of her neck when her relieved acceptance bled into her aura. She wrapped her arms around him and let herself laugh in her relief. “I thought you only thought of me as a friend.”

He huffed, his breath against her skin making her shiver. “And I you.” 

The realization that they had both thought themselves ‘friend zoned’ made her giggle a little hysterically. They could have been- “I didn’t think…” she cut herself off, now feeling embarrassed.

Solas lifted his head and brushed his lips against the line of her jaw. “Didn’t think what?” He seemed content to torture her until she answered.

“I didn’t think-ah…” She gasped when he nipped at her throat and rushed to finish the sentence. “ -didn’t think you’d be interested.”

He moved to capture her ear lobe between his teeth, making her arch against him. “Does it feel like I’m not interested, ma’lath?” Emma shook her head, not trusting her voice at the moment. Solas chuckled and his aura flared with satisfaction. “Tell me, why did you think I would not be ‘interested’?” He asked as he moved back to her throat.

Emma knew her breathing was getting labored and rushed to get it out. She didn’t want to talk right now! “Ah- Because I’m human.”

At that he laughed, not just a chuckle, but a full laugh. He raised his head and she could see the little crinkles of skin in the corners of his eyes. He shook his head, “You thought me so shallow?”

She flushed in embarrassment, “Well, I-”

His mouth covered hers, cutting off her reply and she readily gave up trying, losing herself in the sensation. When he pulled away, his gaze burned into hers. “ _ Emma’lath,  _ I am not  _ him _ .” He dropped his mouth to her throat once again. “Dirtha ma ane’ma.”  _ Say you are mine.  _ “Sathan.” His voice was quiet and desperate when he said please, his teeth pressing against the skin of her shoulder as if he wanted to lay his mark but didn’t dare. 

Her heart was racing in her chest at his words, as she let her aura curl around his in a gentle caress. God, how could she have been such an idiot? “Ir ma’ane, ma’fen. Sul la’var uth’var ma’emathe’em”  _ I'm yours, my wolf. As long as you will have me. _


	38. Chapter 38

They reached Skyhold late that night. Damon had begged the group to hold out and travel the last few miles instead of stopping for the night. Surprisingly enough, they had agreed with only a playful grumble from Sera. But they were here now and Damon could see Cullen standing rigidly at attention near the gate, no doubt woken up by the scouts that saw them coming. He looked tense and Damon’s stomach flipped as he nudged MoFo into a trot towards him.

“Inquisitor-” 

“Where’s Em?” Damon slid off of MoFo and looked around anxiously. He knew he was being rude, but where was she?

“She is in the Undercroft. But Ser-”

“Em first. Get everyone together in the War Room, I’ll be there soon.” Damon ordered and raced off towards the castle. He heard Cass call after him but he needed to see Emma first, make sure she was okay.

He ran through the castle and burst into the Underforge, taking the steps four at a time. Emma was sitting at what looked like her lab, writing on a sheet of paper with Solas hovering near her shoulder. 

“Emma!” 

“Damon!” She jumped out of her seat with a delighted grin and ran towards him, squeezing her eyes shut so she was moving blind.

He met her with a hug and spun her around, so relieved and happy that she was okay. He set her down and put his hands on her shoulders, holding her away to look her over, reassure himself that she really was okay. She seemed off, was wearing a scarf when it was too warm for one and her eyes were still tightly shut despite her happy grin. Was she sick?

He frowned in concern. “Emti, what’s wrong? Your eyes okay?”

Her smile faltered and Solas shifted in the edge of his vision.

“I… um.” Her voice sounded small. “Don’t freak out?” 

“Kay.” 

Slowly she opened her eyes and he sucked in a shocked breath as silver light spilled across her face. He moved a hand to her cheek, smoothing his thumb under her eye. It looked like the light should be giving off heat, but all he could feel was her cheek under his palm. “Holy shit, Emma. What’s this?”

She chewed her lip and looked down, making weak jazz hands. “Surprise… I’m a mage.”

He glanced at Solas in question, noticing how he was balanced on the balls of his feet like he was ready to leap forward and snatch Emma away in a heartbeat. Something had gone down that had Solas’ protective streak amped up to eleven.

“Her magic manifests visibly with her emotions.” Solas eyes flicked over his face searchingly. “It is harmless.”

“Fuck! You’re a wizard, Emma!” He laughed, a little disbelieving and a lot awed. He moved his thumb under her eye again, catching the silver light on his skin. “Holy shit, you’re beautiful.”

Emma’s laugh sounded more like a sob and she sagged in relief. Solas relaxed slightly and muttered something in elvhen.

Damon glanced between the two and focused on Emma. “Ragnarok?”

Her eyes darted to Solas, who despite relaxing was still looking pretty damn protective. Huh. She meant it a little less figuratively than he’d assumed.

She nodded. “Yeah. You gotta-”

“Fuck. Cullen’s getting the councillors together in the war room.” He straightened and let her go, noting Solas’ lip curl slightly at Cullen’s name. “We’ll talk about it there, get shit sorted. Anything I gotta know before I go in there?”

“Templars equate glowing eyes with possession. They react without thought when they see them.” Solas sounded angry. “The-

Emma hugged her waist, talking over him. “He calmado al lobo por ahora, pero temo que todavía pueda morder al comandante mientras no estoy mirando.”

Solas gave Emma a frustrated look when she broke out the spanish and he realized he couldn’t understand. Damon took a minute to mentally translate it before scrubbing his face with his hands. She’d calmed Solas down but was still worried he’d do something to Cullen. He could already tell this wasn’t good if she was worried Solas was gonna flat out assassinate someone. “Fuck. So straight up Ragnarok?”

She nodded. “Pretty much. If it got out of hand…. well.” She didn't have to finish for him to understand.

He rolled his shoulders, mentally bracing himself. “Right. Let’s go then. You got her?” He addressed the last bit to Solas, who nodded and moved to Emma’s side, his hand going to rest on the small of her back. They’d graduated from just handholding then. And huh. He was still growing his hair out for her, at least most of it. He really did look like a hipster now that he had an undercut. Emma probably loved that.

Emma took several deep breaths and the silver light flickered out, leaving just her natural blue eye color as her face fell flat and expressionless. He didn’t like that. Emma was too bright to be suppressing herself. He frowned at her eyes, somehow familiar but now wrong. 

They made it to the War Room without incident. The council was all there and Damon nodded to them in greeting as he moved to the war table, Emma and Solas taking up the space at the end between the rest of the councilors and him. 

“Right. What happened?” 

Josie didn’t greet them as she usually did but instead glanced nervously between the Spymaster and the Commander, quill twisting in her hand. 

Cullen looked away for a second, but before he could say what was on his mind, Leliana produced a thick stack of papers from her cloak and slid them across the table to him. “I had everyone involved write out their perspective of the… incident. I thought it would help avoid unnecessary shouting over each other.” 

Damon accepted the stack wearily but gratefully. This looked daunting, but was worlds better than having to use the talking stick to get everyone to wait their turn. “You’re a godsend, Leliana.”

He flipped through them, reading the names on the front of each folder before pulling out Leliana’s to read first, trusting it to have more facts than speculation or personal bias. He scanned through it quickly, feeling awkward to have everyone staring at him while he read. He frowned when he got to the part with Vivienne and Em. That didn’t sound right. “Why would Lady Vivienne say that?”

Josephine hesitated. “It… is possible that she was seeking to get an emotional response from the Herald. If she could cause Lady Emma to have a magical outburst, she could use that to insinuate that Solas’ tutelage was inadequate and possibly suggest that she would be better suited.”

“Why?”

Leliana answered. “Lady Vivienne is well versed in The Game. Being the personal tutor of the Herald herself comes with a great deal of prestige, but her pride will not let her simply come out and ask. She is too subtle for it and would have known Lady Emma’s answer. Everyone knows of Lady Emma’s… fondness for Ser Solas.”

Emma flushed bright red and clenched her eyes shut. Solas somehow looked pleased with himself and threw a suspicious glance at Cullen at the same time.

Damon considered that for a moment. “She feels left out. Irrelevant.” At Leliana’s nod he looked at Josephine. “Think you can find something important for her? Something with a lot of nobles that I might have to deal with otherwise?”

Josephine nodded and wrote something on her clipboard so he continued reading. He frowned and looked at Solas, using one hand to spell out: “Smite?”

Cullen’s eyes darted between the two of them before he gripped the hilt of his sword nervously. The skin under his eyes was bruised from lack of sleep and his face was pale. He was either very, very worried about how Damon was going to react to this or was feeling really guilty, or both. Probably both. 

“A templar attack that temporarily blocks the target and surrounding mages from their magic.” Solas’ signs were sharp and angry. 

Damon sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth. Oh boy. And…. yup. Barely two lines later: enter a very angry Solas. He snorted at Emma’s reference and read through Leliana’s account of the ensuing drama three times before rubbing his eyes.

“So, basically you went angry glowstick, Solas didn’t tag properly so Cullen did a hard reboot, Solas wanted to go John Wick so you went Betty Ross, and now he wants to Judge Dredd,” he pointed at Solas and then at Cullen, “And he wants to give his two weeks?” He asked Emma.

She snorted, her eyes shutting tightly again, and nodded with a ‘yeah, that’s pretty much it’ expression. 

“None of those words make any sense, especially in that order!” Solas said in exasperation. 

Emma smirked, her eyes still closed, but he could see a slight glow leak through her lashes. “Losing Shirley Temple would be an iceberg to our Titanic.” 

“Right.” He let himself enjoy the brief humor of the council’s lack of comprehension before looking through the stack of papers to find Cullen’s folder. He glanced at the Commander, who had a very tight grip on the hilt of his sword and was very much not looking at Solas, before scanning through his account. Shit. He really didn’t want to say this in front of everyone… but...

“You on it again?”

Cullen’s shoulders tensed but he shook his head. “No. I… No.”

“Good.” Damon let out a relieved breath. “Then, I do not accept your resignation. You’re an excellent commander and are performing your duties impeccably. Losing you would be a blow the Inquisition could not recover from.”

Solas’ eyes narrowed and his hand went to Emma's hip, pulling her slightly behind himself, but he said nothing. Cullen however, looked bewildered. “Inquisitor, I attacked the Herald. I-”

“Reacted to a perceived threat with non-lethal force. I can find no fault with it. The Herald clearly understands your reaction and does not blame you for your actions.” Damon said firmly. “Commander, will it happen again?”

He hesitated but shook his head. “No.”

“Then we’re good.”

Cullen’s eyes closed in what could be either relief or resignation, but he pressed his fist to his chest in salute. “Understood. If that is decided, may I take my leave, Inquisitor?”

“Cullen.” Emma’s voice was quiet but Damon saw Solas tense beside her as she turned her head, eyes still shut tight, in the direction of the Commander, who flinched at her voice. “It will get better.” Cullen said nothing but his chin dropped in a sharp nod after a moment. 

“You may, Commander.” He was glad that Emma could give him that assurance. This whole thing had most likely shaken Cullen to the core. He’d try and talk to Cullen in the morning, check up on him.

Cullen saluted again and moved for the door, careful to give Emma and Solas a wide berth. He could see Solas’ muscles bunch and his free hand close into a fist as the commander passed. Emma's hand moved to cover his fist in an attempt to calm him. Fuck, she wasn’t kidding about him wanting to take him out. 

 Damon looked around the room as Cullen left. “Anything else that needs my immediate attention?”

Josie waited to see if Leliana had anything to say before clearing her throat nervously. “I… there are rumors as to why the Herald has secluded herself, ranging from pregnancy to illness. I was wondering how you would like me to handle them?”

Oh boy. He glanced at Em. “Puppies or Joan of Arc?” 

Emma flushed bright lobster red and he could see Solas’ ears turn a very similar color behind her. “Damon!” She groaned, dropping her head into her hands. “Maybe the illness card? I can’t let everyone see me with demon eyes.” 

“They’re not demon eyes.” He said sharply. He saw Solas give him an approving look and took a moment to think it over. “Em…. You’re a freakin’ prophet who can see the past and future. Why wouldn’t someone with the Seeing have glowing eyes?” He glanced at Leliana and Josephine uncertainly. “That make sense?”

Josie’s face lit up at that and she immediately started to scribble frantically on her clipboard. “That is an excellent response.”

Emma lifted her head from her hands and opened her eyes for the first time since they’d entered the room, silver light spilling out and swirling where her pupils should be. 

Josie looked up from her clipboard and tilted her head in thought. “They do give you an otherworldly appearance, and it could lend some credibility to the rumors of your being the chosen of Andraste.”

Solas placed his hands on Emma's shoulders a second before Damon noticed the tears of relief starting to spill over her cheeks. He reached down to grip one of her hands, squeezing it gently. She’d been trying to hide them for however long and he knew that had to have been torture, especially if they were attached to her emotions like Solas had said. 

“So if we go with that she can keep her eyes open?” 

Josie nodded enthusiastically. “It should be enough that she doesn’t have to worry. I will make sure all of the former templars under our command know and will be made aware that any action against the Herald will be punishable by death, unless the Herald herself or the Inquisitor chooses leniency.” 

He nodded, it was harsh, but how things generally ran here and Josie had put in a nice, large loophole so they wouldn’t actually have to kill anybody. That crisis averted, he turned and signed to Emma, “Can you get Cass and meet me in my room? We have another thing to deal with once I finish up here.”

She nodded and turned to go, Solas moving to follow. 

“Solas, stay a minute?”

The mage hesitated, looking to Emma as they seemed to have their own silent conversation. At Emma’s nod he folded his hands behind his back and inclined his head in acceptance. Emma smiled at him before turning and taking a few breaths before slipping through the door. 

Josephine and Leliana excused themselves and as soon as the room was clear, Damon spoke up. “Are you going to be able to work with the Commander?”

Solas’ jaw clenched but he nodded. “Yes, I will.”

Damon exhaled hard and collapsed into a chair. “You gonna be okay workin’ with him?”

“That is the same question.”

“Firs’ one was professional, this one’s me concerned about you.”

Solas studied him for a long moment before speaking. “You were surprisingly lenient with him. I know how you care for Emma. I expected… more. I expected you would deal with-” He frowned down at the war table. “If Emma had not pleaded his case, he would not-” he cut himself off and a look of frustration passed over his features. “She does not wish him harmed.”

Damon ran a hand over his face. “No, she don’t. I understand why he did it. It won’t happen again and the Inquisition needs him.”

“You understand?” Solas’ voice was flat as he began to pace. “To be forcefully separated from ones magic is excruciating.”

Damon silently reached into his bag and pulled out the sleeping potion, setting it on the table between them. Solas looked at him in confusion.

“I know about reactin’ to things in ways that ain’t rational. Everyone’s got something. I freak out about… taking stuff. Cullen freaks out over his shit, you freak out over yours.” He huffed when Solas looked like he was going to argue that. “Solas, I’ve got eyes. I can see that the thought of losing Em makes you lose it. I’m willing to bet that if it hadn’t involved Emma that you would’ve been able to see past it. We all freak out over shit.” He said quietly and ran his thumb over his ink. “So, yeah, I understand him and I’m worried ‘bout you as well.” 

Solas stopped pacing and took a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. “You worry I will expose myself in my anger?” 

“No. I’m worried ‘bout you. Bein’- I know you can sense people’s magic. If Em’s a mage, I’d bet you keep a close eye on her. And then she probably disappeared if she got cut off. That… was probably terrifying and I want to know if you’ll be okay.” For such a smart dude, Solas could be a bit oblivious at times. 

Solas looked over at him, the tension in his shoulders giving out to pure exhaustion. “She… her magic is so bright that it’s absence felt as if the one bright spot in this world had been ripped away.”

Wow. Dude had it bad. “I’m sorry.” 

Solas huffed a mirthless laugh. “She hardly felt it… stood between me and the object of my rage while a mage of many years could not even stand.”

“Yeah.” He said softly. “She’s tough and stubborn. She was probably tryin’ to protect you. Him too, but you.” 

He smiled to himself. “Yes. I believe you are correct.” He looked over at him. “You are.... Very empathetic. I believe I will be ‘okay’ working with the Commander. And… I can assure you that no harm will befall him from me.” He chuckled, “I believe with her magic, Emma would be very formidable if crossed.”

“No power in the ‘verse can stop her.” Damon huffed, feeling very relieved that Solas wasn’t going to knock off Cullen, even if it was just because of Emma.

Solas nodded before asking. “If I may ask, what does- the word that Emma sent you. She said to ask you what it meant.”

Oh. Interesting. Emma knew what it meant to him and her telling Solas to ask him made her using it that much more significant. “You want the short answer or the long one?”

“Both, if you do not mind.”

“Short answer: it’s the end of the world. Long answer: My mom followed a god. He was the god of fire, chaos, change, lies, the god of those cast aside by society. He’s Loki, the Trickster. Loki had many children. All of them strange, considered monsters by the other gods. They all play into Ragnarok, but the main one is Fenrir, the dread wolf.” 

Solas startled but remained silent.

“Fenrir is imprisoned by the other gods. But when he breaks free, he brings the end of the world and kills all of the other gods.” Damon studied the elf for a long moment, watching his face settle into a blank mask. That hit a nerve. “Some people believe that Ragnarok is an inevitable disaster. My mom believed it was necessary, a final change from Loki in order to bring about the next cycle of the world.” He moved out of the chair and stretched. “That’s what it means to me.” 

Solas stared for a long minute before speaking and when he did his voice sounded thoughtful. “She described the situation with one word.”

“Yeah. S’probably why she picked that one instead of the dozens of others that woulda had me rushin’ back.” 

Solas nodded but he still seemed contemplative, and not quite following the conversation. Just how close was Emma to the nail? 

Damon threw him a bone in the form of a subject change. “Want to help me break the news that I’m not from ‘round here to Cass?”

That snapped the elf out of it, his head coming up to gawk at him. “The Seeker?”

“Yeah… S’not a secret I can keep from her anymore.” He felt suddenly nervous. It was the first time he’d hinted to anyone how he felt about her. Even Em was probably still in the dark.

Solas surprised him by laughing. “Ah, so you’ve finally fallen to the fair Seeker’s charms?”

He snorted. “‘Bout the second time she punched me, yeah.”

Solas chuckled but sobered after a second. “I will help you but… a secret like this… it will not be easy for her to accept.”

He ran a hand over his face. “I know. S’gonna shake her bad, but I gotta. Can’t… I just can’t keep that from her and be with her, y’know?”

“Yes. I can understand that.” Solas said softly. “Let us go tell her, and then I believe you need to sleep.”

His laugh veered towards hysterical at that. Sleep was not easy right now. He shoved the potion back into his bag, ignoring Solas’ concerned look, and headed for the door. Solas fell into step beside him and he shortened his strides so he didn’t have to run to keep up. 

They found Emma and Cass standing at the door to his quarters. Emma looked... wrong. She was hiding herself again. Her face was emotionless as she stood next to Cass, who was shooting her concerned looks. Apparently, she’d noticed it wasn’t natural as well.

Damon waved them in and Emma opened the door and slipped into his room, Cass hesitating before following. Once they were all in and the door was shut behind them, he moved so that he was partially between Cass and Emma. 

“Cass, Em’s a mage now and her eyes glow. S’nothing wrong with her, they just glow. You gonna freak out if you see them?”

“They glow? Like-” Cass cut herself off and frowned. “There is a lot to consider in that sentence, but no, I will not ‘freak out’.”

“Thank you.” He reached back and punched Em’s shoulder lightly, trying not to be too obvious about the fact that his body was between her and Cass. He knew Seekers weren’t exactly like Templars, but there were enough similarities to worry. “Stop hidin’, Sunshine.”

Emma let out a breath and her eyes immediately began to shimmer, only getting brighter when she smiled at him. “That’s not going to stick is it?” 

Cass gasped softly but otherwise didn’t move. She studied Emma with a furrow between her eyebrows but didn’t seem to be inclined to anything drastic.

“Nightlight? Glowstick? Sparkler? Moonshine?” He grinned and subtly herded her up the stairs to his room, Cass and Solas close behind.

“Sparkler is Dorian’s nickname.” She snorted. “As to the others… how attached are you to your horns?”

“Very.” He fell serious when they reached his room and he set his bag beside the fancy new bed he apparently now had. He turned to the others and opened his mouth, closing it again when he realized he didn’t know how to start. 

Cass glanced at him before addressing Emma. “Damon says that the two of you have a secret, one that I must know before-” Her ears turned red and she scowled before she pulled the cords of the necklace from beneath her armor and showed the dragon tooth pendant to her.

Emma’s eyes widened and her hand went to cover her mouth in shock and Solas actually chuckled. “Ah, it seems I owe the Bull a sovereign.”

Damon shook his head. Of course they had bet on it. “Bull cheated hella hard, you don’ owe him shit. Also, did everyone know what that meant besides me?”

Emma bit her lip and looked at him guiltily. “I knew you had a dragon tooth but I didn't think… I mean I knew you and Bull weren't serious so I thought it wouldn't come up.”

Damon ran a hand over his face, feeling like laughing or crying. “It did. I fucked up how I gave it to her cuz I didn’t know.”

Cassandra straightened her shoulders. “What is this secret? He will not allow me to fully accept the necklace until I know it.”

Solas waved his hand in the air like he had cast a spell and Emma gave him a grateful glance. Damon clutched his wrist and tried to think, think of how to say it. It was too big, too unbelievable.

Emma bit her lip and her eyes darted between him and Cass before settling on the latter. “Um… Cass, you uh…”

Solas sighed. “They’re not from this world. They were somehow pulled here from their world, a world that has no magic. In their world, Damon was a human and we were a story.” 

Emma shut her eyes tightly and Solas physically jolted, shooting her a look. What’s that about? Damon felt a flash of curiosity but it quickly faded as he focused on Cass, who was staring at them like they had gone mad.

“Is this a joke?” Her voice held a disapproving note.

“No, it’s not a joke.” Emma opened her eyes and gave Cass a sympathetic look. “You know how I know things? Know people and what might happen? It’s because… It’s because I’ve… ‘read’ your story so many times that I memorized it.”

Cass looked at Solas, her expression torn between disbelief and panic. “And you?”

“I discovered their secret when I-” He flinched and shot an exasperated look at Emma. “Accidentally acquired Emma’s memories of her world.” 

“Acquired her memories?” Cass frowned as she studied the mage warily.

“I gave them to him.” Emma clarified, shooting him a look. “We’ve been over this. I gave him my memories of sign language, and in a roundabout way he got my memories of my world attached to them.”

“Ah. That is how you learned so quickly.” Cass murmured, her voice sounding a bit faint. “Can you show me one? Prove this isn’t some terrible joke?” 

Emma bit her lip thoughtfully and Solas frowned. “Seeker, I don't think-”

“I can try.” Emma cut him off.

Solas clutched her arm and turned her towards him. “Emma’lath, you are too untrained for something like that… how do you know it would even work outside of the Fade?”

Damon sat on the edge of his bed and covered his mouth with his hand, lost and unable to think of how to fix this, make her believe them. Emma glanced at him and her face got that stubborn look Damon knew so well. She was about to try the impossible. She frowned and held out her hand, palm up, her eyes flaring so brightly Damon had to look away from her face. When he looked back she was holding a bright sphere of light in her palm.

She tilted her hand back and forth, studying the sphere before holding it out to Cass. “I think I did it. This is the memory of Damon and I starting your story, right before we were brought here.”

Solas’ eyes sparked electric green and he turned his back to them before shaking his head. “Elvar’asha.”

Cassandra eyed the silver orb warily, but when she glanced at Damon, her shoulders fell and she reached out hesitantly and touched it with the tips of her fingers. Silver light shimmered over her eyes for a moment and she staggered backwards with a gasp.

“Maker. What was- Where? You-” She looked at Damon, her face pale and her eyes frantic as she looked him over. “You truly-” Her hands clutched her head and she stepped backwards again. “But-”

Damon stood up and reached towards her, feeling helpless. “Are… are you okay?”

“No! If we are but a story to you, then-”

“You’re not just a story! You’re real to me!” Damon felt his heart clench and looked at Emma helplessly. How had she handled this with Solas?

It was Solas who stepped forward, his hands held out palms up. “I felt the same confusion and turmoil you are feeling now when Emma revealed this to me. Take a deep breath and look at Damon.” Cass shook her head but did as he said, her eyes locking with his. “Does he look like he sees you as a fiction?”

Damon’s heart was pounding in his ears as she studied his face and his stomach flipped anxiously when she shook her head.

Emma hugged herself and moved to stand next to him. “I'm the one who knew about you before we came here... Damon didn't know anything, his thoughts and opinions were formed by spending time and getting to know you. He never knew you as a story. He cares because you’re you.” 

Cassandra looked at her, but it seemed like her eyes weren’t actually seeing her. “And you?” 

Emma smiled softly. “You were my friends long before I knew you were real. I wished you were real.” She moved back to stand next to Solas, who took her hand in his.

Cassandra pressed her hand to her forehead and stared at the floor for a long moment before murmuring. “I see now why you insisted I know the truth.” 

“I…” Damon wanted to reach out and touch her, bump her shoulder like they did when the nights were bad, but not knowing if he was allowed anymore. “I care about you, Cass. I couldn’t ask you to keep my heart and not know the truth. Couldn’t lie to you like that.”

Cassandra's hand drifted up to the dragon tooth that hung loosely around her neck, his eyes couldn't help but follow the movement as if his whole future depended on it. It did. She clenched the tooth in her fist before opening her fingers and looking down at the carvings. Her lips moving as she silently read the verses again. 

After what seemed like an eternity she looked back up at him. “May I…” her eyes darted over to Emma and Solas  before settling back on him. “I need time… to think… I… I am not saying no but-” she couldn't finish and he could understand that.

He nodded, his chest tight with dread and hope. “I- Yeah. Okay.”

Cass gave him a grateful look before turning and walking towards the stairs, pausing to look back at Emma. “Thank you for sharing that with me… it… took a lot of courage.” Her eyes then caught his. “Try to sleep.”

That simple phrase, her still trying to make sure he took care of himself, made his throat tight. He nodded and watched her leave, murmuring softly after her, “As you wish.” 

Emma let go of Solas’ hand and moved to stand next to him. “You ok?” Her voice was soft and concerned.

He started to nod, automatically trying to force a grin on, but he couldn’t summon it up. Instead he shook his head and stepped back to collapse onto the edge of the bed. 

Emma sat next to him and wrapped her arms around his waist holding him tightly. “She didn't say no… hold onto that, ok?” 

It was like all the other times she had comforted him but yet… it was different, everything about her was calming, as if she was casting a bubble around them that kept out the hurt and guilt in the world. Gods, he’d missed her. He turned and clutched her, pressing his face to the top of her head and holding on until he could get his heart to stop hurting. 

They sat like that, clinging to each other, for a long time. Long enough for him to hear her murmur something and guide him to lay down on the bed. She moved and he reached out blindly and grabbed her arm, not willing to face the night alone again. She gently patted his arm and climbed over him, curling up against him with her arm over his waist just like when they were kids and she had the nightmares instead of him. 

He heard her whisper something and Solas say something back, but he was already slipping into unconsciousness.


	39. Chapter 39

 

No dreams assaulted his mind that night and he woke just as the sun peeked over the mountain tops and through his windows. Emma’s head was on his shoulder and her arm over his chest. He felt well rested for the first time in almost a month. Or two. Time was kind of weird for him lately. 

Movement caught his eye and he turned his head to find Solas lounging on his couch, book in hand, reading as if he was sitting at his own desk. Damon absently thought he should feel embarrassed about Solas seeing him break down like that, but he’d already seen him worse off. All he could feel was relieved that he’d had someone at his back while he’d been out. He’d bet that Solas hadn’t slept. 

He tried to slip out from under Emma without waking her, but the moment he shifted his weight her eyes fluttered open, faint silver light gleaming in her pupils. 

“S’kay.” Her hand patted his chest reassuringly. 

He huffed fondly at her sleepy murmur. “Yeah. Suns awake so I’m awake.”

“Snowman?” She blinked and shook her head as she sat up and rubbed her eyes. “Now I’m gonna have that song stuck in my head.”

Damon grinned. “Emma?” When she looked up at him he couldn't help it. “Do you wanna build a snowman?”

“Urg.” She made a frustrated sound and rolled her eyes, climbing over him to stand up and stretch.

“It doesn’t have to be a snowman!” 

Solas glanced between them and shook his head with a smile. Emma immediately looked over at the mage as she moved to the wash basin. “No.” 

“You got telepathy now?” He sat up and twisted back and forth to pop his spine. He’d noticed they’d been somehow having what looked like entire conversations in a look. 

Emma shook her head. “Mages have aura’s and they can act almost like a second voice. It's kinda cool!” She picked up the jug and poured some water into the bowl.

Solas huffed as he snapped his book closed and stood. “Yours is more attuned then the average mage, Emma’lath.”

Emma rolled her eyes at him and pulled her scarf off to wash up, revealing a half healed but still very vivid bruise that looked exactly like one hell of a bite mark right where her neck met her shoulder.

“Godsdammit Emma!” He exclaimed, making her jump. “You couldn’t wait three more weeks? Now I owe that fucker money!” Damon laughed and fell back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands. He was happy for them, but dammit he did not want to give money to Bull right now.

At the sudden silence in the room he looked up to see Emma's face was bright red, her hand pressed to her mark as if trying to cover it. Solas actually looked smug even though his ears were tinged pink. He chuckled and rolled out of bed, bumping Emma over so he could wash up. “So, what finally got you two to stop acting like magnets turned the wrong way?”

Emma dropped her head into her hands and groaned as Solas moved to stand behind her, smiling as he wrapped his arms around her waist. “God, were we that obvious?” 

Damon gave her a flat look. “Em. Everyone knew since before Redcliffe.” He waved a finger between the two of them. “So, what was it? Was it the aura thing?”

Solas dropped his head to Emma’s shoulder as his own shook with suppressed laughter. Emma swatted at him but it only made him laugh harder. “Sorta…” when Damon raised an eyebrow at her she rolled her eyes at him. “Okay fine, it was partly the magic but… then he kissed me and then… well...”

Solas finally seemed to get his mirth under control and looked up from Emma shoulder. “I impulsively kissed her after she hugged me for showing her how to persuade the blood samples to mix properly.”

Damon grimaced. “You didn’t do it next to the samples, did you?”

“You think me a barbarian?” Solas said with a grin, just before Emma's elbow connected to his gut. 

“You are not sharing details with my brother!” She hissed, rounding on him. Solas continued to grin at her, probably enjoying getting a rise out of her.

What. The. Fuck. They’d actually done the do. He never thought Emma woulda moved that fast. He let himself have another laugh before reaching out and putting a hand on each of their shoulders. “I’m very happy for you, don’t use my bed while I’m gone.” 

He didn't think it possible but Emma turned a even darker shade of red and her eyes flared a brighter silver. “That's just wrong!”

“Exactly.” He chuckled. This was… the best he’d felt in a long time. Despite Emma's embarrassment, he could tell she was truly happy and if Solas did that for her…he watched as the mage grinned down at her, his eyes shining like she was his own personal moon. Well, guess he was adding a brother to the family.  Speaking of family…

“Who has Gaelathe?” It suddenly dawned on him that everyone they trusted with him had been in his room last night.

“Oh! I hired a governess. I know her and she’s really good with him. Her name’s Orana. She normally takes him out to the gardens for some sun after breakfast so you can catch him for some snuggles.”

As awesome as it felt to be teasing Emma again, and as much as he wanted to go hug Gaelathe, he had to go catch Cullen before he threw himself into his work. He let Emma fix his hair and then left them in his room, too much in a hurry to shoo them off to their own haunts. Emma called after him to remember to eat as he went down the stairs and he tossed back a two fingered salute. He’d slept later than he’d expected and needed to hurry and find Cullen and talk to the dude, see if he was doing okay. He’d grab something to eat after.  

He climbed up to Cullen’s office and rapped his knuckles on the door twice before entering. The Commander was leaning on his desk, staring down at a box, a very familiar box. His stomach twisted as he took in the way he was looking at it like it was an answer. Cullen gave him a haggard glance before dropping his eyes back to the box. “Forgive me. I didn’t hear you enter.”

“You all right, man?” Damon closed the door softly behind him and stepped away from it so he wasn’t blocking the exits. “You need to talk?”

Cullen shook his head and straightened. “You don’t have to-” He groaned suddenly and caught himself on the desk before he fell. “Makers breath. I never meant-” He leaned heavily on the desk and looked away. “When I realized what I had done… You would have been well within your rights to have me executed. When I saw you using your secret language with Ser Solas I thought for sure he would advise-” He cut himself off and shook his head. “Why didn’t you? I attacked your… sister and you did nothing, simply-” He gestured wearily to his office, indicating that Damon had just sent him back to work.

“I’m not gonna kill a good man cuz he panicked. I dunno what happened to you, but people like us don’t get where we are without something in our head that has us pulling a knife when we’re scared.” He tried to keep his voice steady but- Shit. Cullen had spent how many days thinking Damon was gonna literally kill him?

“What happened to me… I was at Fereldon circle. It was taken over by abominations. The Templars, my friends, were slaughtered.” He moved to the window and looked out before continuing, his voice sharp with bad memories. “I was tortured, they tried to break my mind and I-” 

Cullen let out a bitter laugh and looked out the window like it was a lifeline. Damon took another subtle step away from the path to the doors so he wasn’t looming over the escape routes.

“How can you be the same person after that? Still, I wanted to serve. They sent me to Kirkwall. I trusted my Knight Commander and for what?” He gestured angrily.  “Her fear of mages ended in madness. Kirkwall’s circle fell. Innocent people died in the streets. Can’t you see why I want nothing to do with that life?” 

“Of course I can.” Damon understood it on a bone deep level.

“Don’t! You should be questioning what I’ve done!” Cullen pressed his hands to his head. “I thought this would be better, that I would regain some control over my life but these thoughts won’t leave me. Maker, I attacked Lady Emma simply because she reminded me-” 

He started pacing, moving closer to Damon as he gestured helplessly. “How many lives depend on our success? I swore myself to this cause! I will not give less to the Inquisition than I did the Chantry! I should be taking it!” He suddenly turned and drove his fist into the bookshelf by the wall. His shoulders sagged and he repeated, quieter. “I should be taking it.”

“No, you shouldn’t. You give enough. I can not,  _ will not _ , ask you for more. The Inquisition could be your chance, fuck, our chance to start over. If you want it to be.” Damon reached out and gripped Cullen’s shoulder, wishing he could help, could make this better. Give Cullen some sort of hope or something to hold onto. 

“I don’t know if that’s possible.” Cullen sounded hopeless.

“It is. It has to be.” Damon gave his shoulder a slight shake before he let go and wrapped his fingers around his wrist to settle himself. It had to be possible. Had to.

Cullen’s eyes dropped to his wrist and a contemplative expression crossed his face. “What-” He shook his head and stepped back. “Forgive me, I have no right to-”

“You can ask me, man. I don’ mind.” That was a lie. He did mind, but he’d answer anyway.

“Your arm… I’ve seen you do this many times.” He touched his own wrist in illustration. “But now-” He shook his head. “I do not know what I am asking to be honest.”

Damon held out his wrist to show him the tattoo. “This is my promise to myself. Keeps me hanging on till the better times. I… I had it before but lost it when I brought Em outta the fade. I got it back because I need it, need to see it to remind myself I can be okay.” 

Cullen studied his mark for a long time with an odd expression before letting out a sigh and rubbing the back of his neck. “Alright. I will- Alright.”

Damon nodded, feeling relief unclench his stomach. He looked up as a drip of water landed on his shoulder. Cullen’s hovering near the windows along with his revelation of being trapped fresh on his mind as he looked at the broken, open roof above Cullen’s bedroom space. “You need a skylight.”

Cullen frowned. “A what?”

“A window, but in the roof. Let’s the light in and the water out. You can see the sky and shit without your papers getting blown around.”

“Ah.” Cullen looked bewildered and a bit wary. “That… Josephine sent some workers in to repair it but I….” he didn't finish, instead looking out the narrow window again.

“Yeah. I get it.” He glanced back up at the roof, mentally tracking the support beams. “I’ll get someone to get me measurements and draw up a skylight for you, have the workers get it done.”

Cullen studied him for a long moment. “I… Thank you.” 

“No problem. You gonna be okay?”

Cullen straightened his shoulders and nodded. “Yes. I believe I will.”

“Good. Track me down if,” He gestured vaguely at his own head. “Shit gets heavy.”

He gave a salute to Cullen, who returned it promptly, though he still looked a bit thoughtful and confused, and took his leave. He held onto his wrist as he walked. It was a little easier to think about when he was trying to help someone else… but he still didn’t want to think about it. He needed to find Gaelathe. He’d missed the kid. 

He was halfway down the steps when he practically tripped over Varric. 

“Shit, sorry shortstack. I’d apologize for not seeing you, but it’d probably just sound like a joke.” He flashed a grin and let go of his wrist. 

Varric chuckled. “Ah, well since you're a lumbering giant I guess I can forgive you. Anyway, I have someone I think you need to meet. Hopefully before the Seeker finds her.”

Damon’s stomach dropped at the reminder that Cass was… thinking things over, but powered through it. “All right… do I need to get some divine intervention for this?”

Varric winced. “As fond of the princess as I am, I think it’s best she stay out of this.” 

That didn’t bode well. He frowned at the rogue. “Why?”

He hesitated. “Princess’ new trick is a bit… scary to some people. Brings back some bad memories.”

Damon pinched the bridge of his nose. “For fucks sake, she ain’t a demon!”

Varric raised his hands. “Easy there, don't get your smalls in a wad. I know there's nothing wrong with Princess… It's just that my friend used to know someone whose eyes glowed like that… turned out he was possessed. Killed a lot of people and she blames herself for it, ok?”

“All right, fine.” Damon said a bit less aggressively. He could understand that. “Who’s this friend and where we meeting her?”

Varric motioned for him to walk with him and they headed towards one of the towers not far from Cullen's office. “She’s crossed paths with Corypheus before and might know more about what he’s doing. She can help.”

The tower Varric led him to was being used for storage, and it didn’t take a genius to see that someone had been camping out there. There was a bedroll in the corner with a travel pack leaned against the wall and a concerning amount of empty alcohol bottles. “You coulda stuck her in my room, I wasn’t usin’ it.” 

“Nah, I think there’s enough people coming in and out of your room as it is.” The dwarf chuckled. “Let’s not add to the rumors, huh?”

Damon tried to stifle a hysterical giggle as he realized what Varric was talking about. Oh shit, Emma was gonna kill him if she heard. “Let’s uh, keep that particular rumor away from Em, kay?” 

“Tiny’s betting that she doesn’t catch on for another month. Somebody better cut him down to size, he’s already won two pools already.” Varric shot him a wink before opening a door that led to another section of the battlements.

“Uh uh, he don’ win the one on me. He set me up.”

Varric chuckled, “Buttercup informed me… but that wasn’t the one I was talking about.”

Before he could ask what he was talking about Varric waved a hand in the direction of a dark haired women who was leaning against one of the parapets with a dark colored bottle in her hands. “Inquisitor, meet Hawke, the Champion of Kirkwall.”

Damon decided to pretend that he knew who that was. It sounded like he was supposed to. “Nice to meet you?” Nope. Failed. He did not sound like he knew who he was talking to. 

Hawke straightened and laughed. “Pleasure to meet somebody who hasn’t read Varric’s book.” She held out her hand to him. “It’s just Hawke… I haven’t gone by the title ‘Champion’ in years.”

“Gotcha. And despite what Varric might tell you, I’m jus’ Damon.” 

Hawke’s lip twitched. “Parents didn’t think through that name, huh?”

He huffed. “Full name’s Damon Theron, demon hunter. But I honestly think it was mom’s way of getting back at me for twelve hours of pushin’.” 

Hawke shook her head with a laugh and took a pull from the bottle in her hand. He didn’t miss the concerned look Varric shot the woman before he spoke. “I figured you might have some friendly advice about Corypheus. You and I did fight him after all.” 

Hawke chuckled mirthlessly. “You’ve already dropped half a mountain on the bastard. I’m sure anything I can tell you pales in comparison.”

Damon shrugged. “That was mostly Em. She saw him comin’ and set it up. I never… actually got to see him. But you’ve fought the fucker before?” 

At the mention of Emma, Hawke turned away from him and took another deep pull from the bottle. It was a long minute before she turned back to answer. “Fought and ‘killed’ the fucker. The Grey Wardens were holding him, using my father’s blood to hold him, and he somehow used his connection to the darkspawn to influence them and tainted Carta dwarves to find me or my brother to use our blood to free him.” She shook her head. “If I never hear the phrase ‘Blood of the Hawk’ it’ll be too soon.”

“Well that’s creepy and ominous and forever outta my vocabulary now.” He grimaced. That sounded like one hell of a recipe for trauma. 

Varric shuddered at the memories that phrase probably brought back. “Corypheus got into their heads. Messed with their minds. Turned them against each other. We had to knock Blondie out when he-”

“If the wardens have disappeared, they could have fallen under his control again.” Hawke cut him off quickly. 

“Shit. That’s heavy. Can we fix ‘em?” He knew Emma was working on curing the ‘taint’ but hadn’t had the chance to ask how it was coming last night. 

Hawke leaned heavily against the parapets and he wasn’t sure if was the alcohol or just exhaustion. Probably a nice mixture of the both. “It’s possible, but we need to know more first. I’ve got a friend in the wardens. He was investigating something unrelated for me. His name is Loghain. The last time we spoke, he was worried about corruption in the warden ranks. Since then, nothing."

Varric ran a hand over his face. “Corypheus would certainly qualify as corruption in the ranks. Did your friend disappear with them?

Hawke took another pull from the bottle, effectively finishing it off, before answering with a shake of her head, “No. He told me he would be hiding in an old smuggler’s cave in crestwood.

Damon exhaled slowly. “I’m guessin’ we gotta go fin’ him then?”

Hawke chuckled. “Such is the life of us hero types. Can't they ever come to us for a change?”

“Right? I had to fuckin’ leg it all the way to the Storm Coast to pick up Bull when he coulda just walked right up to the gates! Sera made me play scavenger hunt.” He laughed and shook his head. “Still, I appreciate any help you can give us.” 

Hawke’s mirth fell away as she stared down at the empty bottle in her hand. “Corypheus is my responsibility.” She said quietly. ”I thought I’d killed him before. This time, I’ll make sure of it.”

“Yeah. Okay. For what it’s worth, you got back up now.” 

Hawke laughed and shook her head. “Had backup last time. Fucker was dead on the floor, full of stab wounds, I even kicked him!”

Huh. Seemed like something he should ask Em about. He was pretty sure he shouldn’t bring her up again in front of Hawke though. He made a wry face. “Rule number two: double tap. Don’ always seem to help much nowadays though.” 

“Double tap?” Hawke raised her eyebrows curiously.

“Oh, no, don’t-”

“Finishin’ shots to make sure a fucker’s dead. One to the heart and one between the eyes.” Damon tapped his chest and forehead in illustration.

Her eyebrows went even higher in surprise. 

Varric sighed. “-ask about the nonsense words. Well, as long as we are on the subject of your terrible vocabulary, Ruffles wants me to ask you what ‘full skyrim’ means.”

Damon shrugged good naturedly. “Means a lot of different things, like, a lot, but in the context she heard it, it means weilding a sword in one hand and magic in the other and being completely badass ‘bout it.”

Hawke chuckled. “I don’t know how you manage it, but you are somehow even more interesting than the stories Varric made up about you.” 

Varric ran a hand over his face and huffed. “I know you won’t believe me, but I actually haven’t exaggerated once about him.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Right. He actually sassed the queen of Fereldon to her face and got away with it.”

Damon made an uncertain noise in his throat and wavered his hand. “I mean, I still don’t know for sure I got away with that. She said she’d talk to my superiors but I still ain’t heard from ‘er.”

“Ate a dragon?”

“Piece o’ one.”

“Have an entire silent language that only three people seem to know?”

“‘S actually four now.”

“Sing lullabies about bribing death to babies?”

“That was one time, Varric!”

Hawke shook her head in amused disbelief. “I’m pretty sure you’re fucking with me now.”

Damon shrugged, he didn’t care if people believed the stories about him or not. The fact they were out there was good enough for the Inquisition. “Shortstack can jus’ make anythin’ sound badass.”

Hawke stared at him for a minute before looking at Varric and pointing back at him. “Is he for real?”

Varric lifted his hands in the air in good humored frustration. “As far as I can tell. Blot’s been breaking our heads since he showed up. He can hold whole conversations and you can’t understand a word of it.” 

Damon huffed in amusement and went to look over the parapets and down into the courtyard. “I ain’t meaning to.”

Hawke shook her head in amusement. “I’m just glad you found someone else to write about. No offense, Varric, but I can’t go anywhere now.”

“Ooh, you really writin’ about me? Can I be on the cover? I wanna be painted like a french girl on it.” Damon grinned with all his teeth. Bantering like this was one of his favorite things to do.

Hawke opened her mouth, no doubt to ask what he meant, but the blood drained from her face when the stables across the courtyard lit up with a newly familiar silver glow shining through the cracks around the doors and windows.

“Shit! Em!” He shoved himself off of the parapets and took off to go find out what had happened to set her off.

  
  
  
  
  


Emma watched Damon go. Despite everything that had happened last night he seemed lighter. Solas wrapped his arms around her and she turned into the embrace, burying her face into his chest.

“Thank you.” She whispered before looking up at him. “For understanding about last night.”

Solas dropped his head and brushed his lips against hers in a quick kiss. “I would have been a fool if I did not. Only a fool would mistake your bond for more than it is.”

She shook her head and stepped away, smiling as wrapped her scarf back around her neck. “You’d be surprised by how many have. The only other time I was in a relationship it didn’t last longer than a week because he got jealous of Damon.”

Solas huffed a laugh and captured her in his arms again, “I find myself glad for his shortsightedness.” He tugged at the scarf, pulling it back so he could run the pad of his thumb over the mark. “It seems a shame to cover it.”

Emma laughed and readjusted the scarf. “You’re just trying to mark your territory.” 

He chuckled, shaking his head at the joke. “Can you fault me?” He pulled her in and kissed her once more before leaning back to study her face. “I have some matters that require my attention. Can I trust you to keep out of trouble until this afternoon?”

“I think I can manage.” She assured him before giving him a sly look. “Inquisition matters or Fen’harel matters?”

“Can it not be both?” He asked before letting her go.  “I may have caused difficulty for one of my agents the other day and I'm trying to rectify it without bringing even more attention to myself.”

She squinted her eyes at him as she sat of the edge of the bed to pull on her boots. “It was the guard, wasn't it? The one you got the sword from?”

He nodded and laughed softly. “You seem to have a knack for making me forget that I'm supposed to be in hiding, Emma’lath.” 

She giggled and stood, walking over to him to press a kiss to his cheek. “Somehow I can’t bring myself to be sorry for that.”

He caught her arm as she went to leave and pulled her back in for a proper, searing kiss before growling in her ear. “Elvar’asha, if I hadn’t just been forbidden from the use of that bed-”

“Nope!” Emma gaped at him and pulled away. This was Damon’s room! Not a chance!

He looked after her with a wicked grin. “He did not mention the couch...”

Emma felt her face flame. “That’s not even funny!” She hurried to escape the room before he got anymore ideas. “See you at lunch!” 

“Ma nuvenin, ma’vhenan.” He called after her with laughter in his voice.  _ As you wish, my heart. _

Emma couldn’t help giggling as she went down the stairs. Solas was not what she had expected. The game painted him so reserved, quiet ,and controlled, but he bantered and teased just as badly as Damon. Well, to be fair it did seem to only be around her and Damon. Was it because he wasn’t hiding from them?

When she reached the door to the main hall she closed her eyes and reined her aura yet again into its cage, Josie said she wouldn’t have to hide but… She just couldn’t deal with another repeat of Hawke right now.

The dining hall wasn’t full yet and she was able to snag a biscuit with some sort of jam before the stampede started. She had planned on finding Dorian and taking him down to the underforge to show him her findings, possibly including Fiona and Felix. 

She was almost to the door that led to the underforge when the messenger, Briggs, called out to her. “Lady Herald, the Nightingale requests your presence at the stables.”

Stables? That was weird. “Thank you, Briggs. I’ll go there immediately.”

Briggs saluted and left her standing there. Well, guess she’d have to wait till after lunch to show Dorian. She was careful to give the people in the main hall a wide berth as she made her way outside and headed for the stables. She had yet to visit them, Blackwall still was nervous around her and she was doing her best to give him his space.

Leliana was standing in front of the stables, waiting for her, when she arrived. “Emma, how are you feeling this morning?”

Emma returned her smile and was proud of herself for keeping her aura in check, even if it made her smile feel fake. “Good.”

Leliana frowned. “Solas has mentioned that suppressing your magic makes you uncomfortable.”

Emma nodded, “I’m getting used to it.”

Leliana hummed and gestured for her to follow as she led her towards the stable doors which were currently closed. “How is Damon? Cassandra reported that he has not been sleeping.”

Emma had to stop and shut her eyes as she struggled with her aura. Damon had looked rough yesterday and with everything going on with Cass… “I was able to get him to sleep last night.” Aura in check, she was able to open her eyes, only to find Leli watching her in concern.

“Hmm, that is good.” Leliana murmured, eyeing her. “I have warned my friend, you should not need to suppress it.” She then gave a fond chuckle as she opened the door to the barn just wide enough for them both to slip through. “I believe it may even fascinate him.” 

Leliana closed the door securely behind them and glanced around the dim barn interior before saying in a normal tone of voice. “I’ve brought her.” 

“So you have. It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Herald.” A very, very familiar voice came from the other side of a covered cart and sure enough, a second later Zevran walked around it and into her line of sight. He was older but the years had definitely been kind to him. There were fine lines around his eyes and mouth but the streaks of gray blended well into his blond hair.

Emma couldn’t help it, she was just too excited to see him for real. He was there! Talking to her! Her eyes lit up bright enough for her to actually see slight shadows around her. She squeezed them shut but kept her happy grin. “Zevran! I’m so happy to see you!”

“Ah, please do not hide your eyes on my account, Stella. I was enjoying seeing that the stars had come to live among us.” 

Emma hesitated and slowly opened her eyes, silently praying he wouldn’t react like Hawke. He was blatantly staring at her and slowly a charming smile crossed his face. “That is better. One should never hide their beauty.”

She laughed and couldn't help a slight blush. It was freaking Zevran! He was such a flirt. “You flatter me.”

“Ah, but a woman such as you should be used to being showered with compliments that would make my humble flattery pale in comparison.” 

Leliana coughed lightly. “As entertaining as this is, I feel we should discuss the reason we are here? Preferably before a certain mage comes looking for you?” Emma blushed even more at the mention of Solas.

Zevran smirked. “Ah, my dear Leliana, what would we do without you to steer us back to business and away from pleasure?”

Leliana crossed her arms and raised a brow at him. “In your case, everybody.” 

Zevran gave a playful smile. “That does sound like a good evening. But, yes. The reason I am here.” All playfulness left Zevran's features as he looked back at the covered cart. “I found him outside of Orzammar drunker than Oghren after the deep roads. The dwarves would not let him enter, so I brought him to you.”

Emma’s heart dropped. If he had tried to get into Orzammar… He had been trying for the Deep Roads. She followed Zevran around to the back of the cart, hugging herself nervously. How bad off was he? The games never gave much detail about what happened to him. When they reached the back of the cart she covered her mouth at the sight of who she knew was Alistair sprawled inside, smelling like beer cans left on the side of the road and looking like one too. 

The years had not been as kind to him as they had to Zevran. She knew he shouldn’t be much older than Cullen but he looked nearly a decade older. Her aura flared at the sight of Alistair, her Alistair, looking like life had scraped every last bit of happiness out of him. She needed to fix this, help him. Her aura slipped from her mental grasp, flinging itself out in a burst of bright light that left her blinking spots from her eyes when she managed to drag it back in and force it under control. 

“Well, that was unexpected.” Zevran’s voice sounded impressed. 

She stepped back anxiously, realizing she’d just had an outburst, the worst one she’d ever had. “I’m sorry! Did I hurt anyone?”

“The opposite, I believe.” Leliana indicated the cart with her chin, where a very confused but sober looking Alistair was sitting up.

“Where the hell am I?” 

“Skyhold, my friend.” Zevran supplied.

Alistair’s eyes darted between Leliana and Zevran before landing on her. He blinked several times before speaking and her stomach clenched in anxiety over his reaction. “Wynne?”

“Oh.” She had forgotten Wynne sometimes glowed. “No, I’m sorry, I’m not Wynne. I-”

“This is Lady Emma, the Herald of Andraste.” Leliana said gently. “She doesn't have a spirit like Wynne did but she has the ability to See things. She saw you.”

Alistair dropped his head into his hands. “Saw me… Saw that I’m dying? Why’d you bring me here? I should be dead… the deep roads... that's where I need to be… for that. Maker, I need a drink.” 

“You’re not dying!” Emma shook her head. Oh, Alistair! If she ever got her hands on Cousland she’d- She... Needed to focus on Alistair right now. “Listen to me, Alistair, what you are hearing isn't real!” 

He gave her a flat look before putting his head back in his hands. “That doesn’t change it.” 

“I'm afraid you will have your hands full trying to convince him, Stella.” Zevran said quietly, casting a glance at Leliana. “He was drunk the whole way here, but in his ramblings it was clear that he still blames himself.”

Emma’s aura flared with anger and pity and- she felt Solas’ aura press against hers with concern. He felt close. “Crap!” 

She looked at the door to the barn a bare second before it opened and he rushed in, eyes flicking over her and then at the others. He relaxed minutely when he recognized Leliana. “Emma’lath?”

“Is this the mage you mentioned would show up?” Zevran asked in a clearly amused tone as he glanced between them.

Leliana smirked. “Solas, this is Zevran, an old friend of mine. Zevran, this is Solas, Arcane Adviser to the Inquisitor and the Herald’s personal… tutor.”

Zevran’s smile widened at that delicate pause and Emma felt her ears burn. Really, Leli?!

Solas inclined his head politely but his eyes flicked back to Emma. “Are you alright? I sensed a powerful outburst.” 

“Yeah, but I think I may have cast something accidentally.” She hugged herself and smiled at him apologetically.

He stepped towards her, frowning when Alistair came into his line of view. “Do you know what it might have been?”

“Well, he was drunk one minute, Stella lit up like the sun, and now he is not drunk.” Zevran gestured towards Alistair, who hadn’t bothered lifting his head up from his hands. 

Solas frowned. “It sounds like you may have cleansed his body of toxins.” He looked at her and she felt his aura brush hers, it felt pleased and impressed. “You seem to naturally excel in healing magics.”

“So I didn’t hurt Alistair?” She hugged herself nervously. What if she had? Alistair didn’t even look up at the sound of his name.

His brow furrowed and his hands moved to sign Alistair’s name. His eyes narrowed and he looked at her before signing Zevran’s name, his spine straightening as the memories surfaced. Oh no. His eyes flicked between the two men and her and he shook his head. “No, you did not harm him.”

He moved towards her and slipped his arm around her waist, tugging her closer to him and away from Zevran. She rolled her eyes but leaned against him. Yes, she’d romanced the pair in the games a few times, but she was more than happy right here with him. She brushed her aura against his with a contented reassurance. 

Zevran smirked at the movement before asking. “What is that you did with your hands?” He waved his hands in illustration.

Solas’ lips twitched and she felt his aura practically radiating smugness. “It is the Inquisitor and Herald’s language of signs. Very few have the knowledge to use it”

Now he was just showing off. She rolled her eyes, it might be best if she got him out of here before they broke out the tape measure, she knew Zevran was not above goading him.

“Grazie per l'aiuto, corvo.” She thanked him, hoping that the theory that Antivan was just Italian was correct. Solas’ aura pressed with frustrated curiosity, tinged with a hint of something that felt like he was impressed.

Zevran’s eyes widened in pleased surprise. “E 'stato un piacere, bella stella.”  _ It was my pleasure, beautiful star. _

Leliana’s eyebrows raised. “You speak Antivan?”

Before she could answer, the barn doors opened again and an out of breath Damon burst in. He looked between them all, visibly sagging in relief when his eyes landed on Solas beside her. “Fuck’s sake, Em. You got my cardio for the month in. What happened? I saw you from the other side of the walls.” 

“I, uh, had an outburst.” She winced, wondering how Damon would react to her out of control magic. It was a bit different than just glowing eyes.

“Shit. You okay?” He walked towards her, freezing when he saw a despondent Alistair still slumped in the back of the cart. His eyes flicked between him, Leliana, and Zevran. He switched to sign language. “Who’s this? You didn’t have Leliana kidnap someone did you?”

She felt relieved he didn’t seem to be upset about the outburst, and slightly amused that he jumped straight to kidnapping. She pulled away from Solas just enough to sign back. “Not… technically? Just collected. He’s bad off, was trying to die...suicide by darkspawn. I couldn’t...”

Damon ran his hand over his face before turning to Zevran. “Am I supposed to know you’re here or do I need to turn around and say I never saw you?”

Leliana’s eyebrows rose in what seemed to be surprised amusement. “This is Zevran Ariania, an old friend. The Commander asked me to find a skilled tutor to train Lady Emma in the use of her daggers.”

Wait! Zev was going to be teaching her? Really?! Her eyes flared and Solas’ grip on her waist tightened. 

Zevran’s eyes ran over Damon and he grinned. “And who might you be? Not that I mind only seeing your face and not knowing your name. Names are not always necessary for a pleasant meeting.” 

Oh, Zev. Emma dropped her head to hide her face against Solas’ shoulder so they couldn’t see her grin.

Damon laughed. “Oh honey, if I hadn’t already given my heart away I’d be all over you. But as it is, I’m Damon Theron, Inquisitor.” 

“Ah, such is life.” Zevran chuckled, clearly happy with Damon’s response to his flirtation.

Leliana rolled her eyes before she gestured to Alistair. “This is Alistair, former Gray Warden.”

At that Alistair gave a bitter laugh that broke Emma's heart to hear, but otherwise he said nothing.

Damon eyed the man thoughtfully before looking at her. “Right… I’ll let Em handle that with you. Jus’... If-” He switched to sign language with a glance at Solas and Emma. “Make sure you put a watch on him so he doesn't find something besides a darkspawn.” 

She nodded before signing back. “Do you think Cullen could help him?”

He winced and wobbled his hand before signing back. “Maybe. Dude’s a bit shook, but maybe having a project could help?”

Solas made a sound in the back of his throat but stayed quiet while Zevran and Leliana watched their hands in interest. 

Damon glanced between all of them before scrubbing his hands over his face and signing wearily. “Yeah, ask him. Take care of Alistair, use my name if you need to railroad someone into helping. I need to- I’m going to go find Gaelathe and then we need to have a talk.” 


	40. Chapter 40

“Fuck, Emma! Army of demons?” Damon scrubbed a hand over his face and tucked a sleeping Gaelathe tighter to his chest. Shit just kept piling up around him. He glanced at Emma, whose hands were twisting nervously in her lap and had her eyes shut. She had explained the deal with Hawke and the Wardens and he felt… stressed. 

“It’s… We’ll be able to stop them before it gets big.”

That was good news at least. “EmTi, open ‘em up. You know they don’t scare me.”

She shook her head but opened her eyes. “It’s getting harder to control it… I- That was my first accidental magic in the barn.”

“You having trouble with your practice spells?” Damon’s mind moved away from the looming army he’d have to deal with later and onto Emma who was here right now and needed help.

Solas spoke up. “She has not been casting. She does not have the control yet needed for that.”

Damon stared at him blankly. “So she hasn’t been using all that? It’s just been building up?”

Solas frowned slightly in confusion but Emma looked at him with her mouth open. “I haven’t been using it… He said I needed to learn to control it first.”

“Shit, you dropped a mento into a diet coke and told her to put the lid back on?”

“I do not know what that means.” Solas rolled his eyes, his hands forming the words but not able to connect them. 

“Uh, basically started an explosion and told her to try and put all that power in a tiny jar and seal it.” He shook his head. “You haven’t let it out at all?”

Emma shook her head. “No. Besides the eyes and the thing in the barn.” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “I can’t risk hurting people! There’s- but it’s like a bonfire and I’m trying to keep it back with a garden hose but someone keeps throwing more branches on it.”

Solas glanced at her in concern, placing a hand on her arm, and Damon grunted. “Remember when that babysitter would put me in time-out for wiggling?”

“Yeah, just made it worse. You had to run for-” Her eyes widened in realization. “Oh, you had to run laps in order to use up enough energy to concentrate.”

Solas was silent for a moment. “That…” He looked at Damon consideringly. “That is an odd but surprisingly likely parallel.” 

“Right, and you’re gettin’ worse you said?”

Emma nodded. “It’s harder and harder to pull it in, feels worse than it did at first.”

“Shit. Okay, I’m gonna give Gaelathe to Orana and we’re gonna go find an empty spot and let you run.” He stood up and bumped her. “You’ll be okay.”

He liked Orana. The blond elf had a shy streak but it was obvious that she had already fallen in love with Gaelathe and eagerly accepted him from Damon with a wide smile.

Solas and Emma tagging along behind him, he made his way to the stables. He had a good idea of where to go and Dennett got their horses ready without argument. He hoisted Emma into Caramel’s saddle and shushed her when she started to ask questions. Solas seemed content to wait and see what he had in mind and mounted Elgar'alas'nir silently.

He took them to an empty field on the far side of the protected valley, well away from people and buildings. He told them to wait there while he made sure there weren't any patrols in the area. Damon finished making sure the area was clear and headed back to where Emma and Solas had dismounted. Emma was hugging herself nervously, her eyes flickering brightly as she glanced around the empty space. He gave the all clear signal as he jumped down from MoFo and moved to stand between her and Solas.

“You sure?” She asked.

Damon nodded and punched her shoulder lightly. “As sure as I can be. Go on. Have fun.” 

Solas muttured under his breath and flicked his hand so that a shimmering blue energy fell over him and Damon. Looked like that protection spell Emma told him about. Emma took a deep breath and walked a few feet away. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply before flinging her arms out with a sharp exhale. Blinding silver light exploded away from her, swirling around her like a cloak of stars before it twisted and shaped itself into a giant lioness.

Solas sucked in a breath, his eyes sparking with green light, as the shining lioness lifted its head and let out a soundless roar that somehow felt like pure joy. Emma spun in a circle with her arms out, her eyes and hands flaring brightly. The lioness began running, bounding around the field and leaving fires everywhere it’s paws touched. Solas cursed and moved his hand, but Damon grabbed his shoulder.

“Let her run.”

The fires didn’t spread, instead fading out and leaving patches of ash that flowers sprang out of the second the smoke was carried off in the breeze. 

Emma let out a bright, blissful laugh and the lioness dove, disappearing into the ground in a flare of magic and fire that let out a shock wave that had Damon bracing himself. She brought her hands up and there was a deep, bone thrumming hum as a green sprout shot up through the ash the lioness had left behind, quickly and impossibly growing into a tree that towered over them.

Damon gasped when pink and white blossoms sprouted from the branches. Almond blossoms. Emma turned to them and laughed. “I did it! I- Oh! Damon, look!” 

Solas tensed under his hand when she pointed at him and he looked down to find that his left hand was glowing with her silver magic, a streak of light cutting across his palm right where their pact scar used to be. There were several strands of her magic trailing from his hand to hers, hundreds of them, twisted and braided into a tight rope that bound them together. Some of the strands looked frayed, but it was still strong. He followed the magic to her, instinctively reaching for her left hand where her scar was also glowing like his, almost drowning out the green of the mark. 

He clasped their hands together and Emma let out a disbelieving laugh. He felt something electric race through his arm and then through him, settling like a second skin. Solas cursed behind them and Damon looked at him curiously, double taking when he saw that the mage was overlaid with an electric green light. Was that his aura? It looked- He followed a line of the green that was wound around a bit of Emma’s silver, twisting together but not quite touching, like someone had started to tie them together but had stopped halfway through.

“Damon, are you alright?” Solas was on the balls of his feet, ready to move, glancing between the two of them uncertainly.

“Yeah!” He felt like he was touching a live wire, but instead of shocking him he just felt like- Impulsively he flung his hand out, imagining the energy singing through him flying out like an avalanche. An arc of ice spun out from his hand, fracturing into snow crystals and melting as it hit the warm grass.

“Emma?” Solas took a step forward, his voice tight.

“That wasn’t me, he did it.” 

“Shit, you loaning?” Damon did it again, laughing as he made it snow again. 

“Yeah, I think I am.” She giggled. “Can you hear it?”

“Kinda, yeah! Like I’ve got my ear to a wall, I think. Like background music.” He looked at their joined hands and the glowing energy binding them together and let her go. Immediately the live wire feeling vanished and Solas lost his green glow. He looked at his hand and back at Emma. “Shit, we- Blood Sisters, huh?”

She laughed and nodded, silver tears running down her face, though they looked like tears of joy.

Solas stepped towards them again. Dude looked anxious as hell. “Your eyes glowed when you touched her.”

“I think she was channeling?” He glanced at Emma in question.

“Yeah, I could feel you borrowing from me. Kinda like I did-” She blushed and glanced at Solas.

“When you took my some of aura.” Solas said thoughtfully, his eyes flicking between the two of them in fascination. “May I-” He lifted his hand and glanced at Damon uncertainly.

“Go ahead.” Damon shrugged. 

Solas reached out and touched his arm. He frowned after a moment. “Do you sense anything?”

Damon shook his head. “No.”

“I heard it though, you were offering a bit of your aura.” Emma said thoughtfully. 

Solas let go of his arm and ran his hands over his hair. “I would have to study the pair of you to be sure, but it appears that Emma has the ability to channel auras and somehow your blood pact allows her to channel her aura into you, despite the fact that you have no magic at all.” He paused and looked at Emma with clear anxiety before turning back to him. “Did you feel as if there was another presence in your head? Something urging you to act, or whispers of thoughts not your own?” He looked concerned again.

“No, was just me and lightning, but soft lightning.” He frowned, unsure how to describe it.

“So you felt you had complete control over yourself?”

“I didn’t- I wasn’t in his head.” Emma said, her eyes flickering out as her face fell. 

The light across his palm faded out as well, though now there was a faint, hair-thin, silver line where his scar used to be. Solas actually paled when he saw it. Damon couldn’t see the magic binding them together anymore.

“He’s the one who decided to let go, I didn’t want him to yet. You don't think I-”

“No, you weren’t puppeting me.” Damon said firmly, trying to head off her impending panic. She hadn’t been in his head at all. “You were just playin’ battery.”

Emma huffed but didn’t look comforted.

“Hey, why do you do the handwavy thing? Like it feels natural and shit, but is it necessary?” Emma and Solas were both nerdy types, they’d latch onto that and stop worrying. Emma and Damon had always had the bond, it was just upgraded now. And honestly, seeing that frayed but strong rope of magic holding them together eased something in his chest. 

“It’s not necessary, it is simply easier to channel intent with the gestures or focused through a staff.” 

“So… what I’m hearing is… it’s possible to channel and focus intent through possibly, say, a shout?”

Solas considered it for a moment. “Unusual… but I would say possible. At least theoretically.” 

Damon turned to Emma and put his hands together in a plea. “Pleasepleaseplease try!”

She put a hand over her face. “Which one?”

“Unrelenting Force, of course!” He grinned, if she could pull this off, it’d be so freakin’ cool.

She blushed but stood straight, tilting her head as she considered it. 

“Try what?” Solas looked concerned again.

“She’s gonna go full Skyrim.”

Solas’ eyes widened and he looked at her uncertainly. “She does not have a sword…”

“No, different part of Skyrim, the best part.”

Emma nodded suddenly and turned away from them. “Force, Balance, Push. Yeah, I think...” She set her feet apart and inhaled deeply.

The hair on the back of Damon’s neck prickled as she shouted the famous words, her magic warping them into a roar as it rushed away from her in a powerful wave that cut through the grass and shattered a small boulder into shards. She laughed giddily and swayed on her feet, her eyes back to their normal blue.

“Zu’u Los Dovahkiin!” She laughed again and stumbled. “Oh boy, I think I’m done…”

Damon laughed and caught her, letting her lean against him as he hugged her. “Holy fucking hell, that was so badass!”

“That was… most impressive. I have never seen magic of the like! Where-” Solas cut himself off and moved to her, his hands glowing and passing over her to check her. His face falling into one of concern instead of curiosity. “You have exhausted yourself.”

“‘S the point. How you feel, Em?” 

Emma smiled up at him, her eyes sparking a faint silver but quickly returning to normal despite her smile remaining real. “Tired, b’ good. Like goin’ for a run after a road trip.” Her eyelids were starting to droop and her accent was slipping.

“I had not thought… The amount of magic it took to do everything you did today is considerable, unheard of since- And yet… you kept it locked in with only the most minor of outbursts.” Solas murmured as he laid a hand on her cheek. “Ir abelas, ma’elvar’asha. I did not realize.”

She smiled sleepily at him and pressed her hand over his. “S’kay. Really.”

Damon glanced away to let them have their moment before asking. “Can’ya ride?” 

Solas stepped back and she nodded. “Yeah, m’just tired.”

He let her lean on him while Solas collected the horses, which hadn't moved from the spot were they had dropped their reins, a big indication of how well Dennet had trained them. Once Solas led them over, he collected Emma from him. Damon chuckled at Emma's surprised squeak as the mage lifted her onto Elgar'alas'nir before hopping up behind her. “I am not willing to take the risk of you falling from your horse in exhaustion, Emma’lath.” Seriously, they were just too cute together.

They rode back at a leisurely pace, the rocking of the horse causing Emma to start to doze. She turned to curl against Solas’ chest, who kept throwing curious glances at him and Emma. Finally he shook his head.

“What is this Skyrim? How does it mean both wielding physical and magical attacks simultaneously as well as… language focused magic?”

“It’s a sort of story where everyone has some level of normal magic, but the main person, they’re related to dragons somehow and can use their language to channel a different kind of power.” Damon grinned. “One of my favorite stories.”

Solas’ eyes widened. “The language of the dragons?”

“Dovahzul. S’one of the languages I learned.” Emma huffed sleepily around a yawn. “Ful nu zu’u fen zaan ol dov. ‘So now I will shout as dragons’.” 

A furrow appeared between Solas’ eyebrows. “So if this ‘Shout’ is a different form of magic from a different world, then how did you think it was possible here? You combined several magical concepts that you-” He glanced apologetically at Damon.

“That I shouldn’t be able to figure out cuz I’m a muggle?” He laughed and Emma giggled.

“Assuming ‘muggle’ means ‘of no magical ability’, yes, that is what I was going to ask before I considered it might be rude.” 

“I dunno, it’s just, I see y’all twirling staffs and waving your hands and then when I was borrowing Em’s magic it was the first thing I did, made sense it was some sort of focus thing instead of like, a set physical action is connected to a specific spell, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to do the same thing twice. You said as much, so....” He shrugged. “Em’s all about hearing stuff, she learns by sounds, so I just wondered if it was possible to focus vocally.”

“I wasn’t really dragon shoutin’, I think I was just chann’lin’ my magic with words that have a specific meaning t’ me. I could prob’ly use any words, or even jus’ scream, but he wanted to see me use Fus Ro Dah.” Emma waved her hand vaguely as she muttered.

Solas gave him a bewildered look before shaking his head. “So you figured all of that from simple observation of mages and maybe thirty heartbeats of being able to channel magic? As well as quickly forming a theory as to the cause of Emma’s difficulties based off of childhood experiences? I will admit, I am curious what the two of you could accomplish if you studied magical theory, Damon.”

Damon grimaced uncomfortably at being noticed and tried to play it off. “Nah, I ain’t much for studyin’. I’ll let you know if I come up with any other harebrained ideas though.” 

Solas hummed thoughtfully. “I think I would appreciate that. You have a… a unique way of thinking.”

  
  
  
  


 

 

Emma woke on her bed, feeling free for the first time since her magic had been awakened. It hummed happily in her chest, content and waiting patiently to be used, instead of fighting her to let it go. She was alone in her room save for a folded note sitting on the pillow beside her.

She opened to note to find elegant script that she could only assume belonged to Solas. “ _ I did not wish to wake you. Damon has called a council meeting to inform the others of our upcoming trip for crestwood. The Nightingale has made the arrangements for your guests. When you wake, reach for me and I will know. _ ”

Emma frowned a bit at the last part. He had mentioned seeking out his aura that day in the underforge if she were to have a problem but she hadn’t had to try it. Excited to test a new bit of her magic, she smiled to herself and closed her eyes, willing her aura to search for his. It only took a few seconds before she felt his press back, pleased along with the inquiry to how she felt. She let the feeling of relaxation and relief tint her aura with the need to do something before trying to send a mental image of the underforge to him. She didn’t know if that was possible but she didn’t want to wait around her room for someone to come get her. She had things to do.

Feelings of shock and disbelief flooded their connection and she immediately sent back a question. After a pause he sent her a promise of answers later. She agreed and withdrew. 

She got out of bed and smiling as she noticed her shoes and socks had been taken off and neatly placed near the foot of her bed. She went to the bathroom to wash her face in the basin and mentally prepared herself to see her eyes in the little hand mirror Josie had had delivered to her room a few days ago. It was always a shock to see them even though she knew about them, it was different from being told your eyes glow to actually seeing them glow.

First, she splashed the water on her face, grabbing a towel to dry it before reaching for the mirror. She gasped when her normal blue eyes met her instead of the shining silver maelstroms she had expected. She covered her mouth, laughing in relief, and her eyes didn’t react. Not even a faint shimmer. Damon was amazing!

She giddily ran a comb through her hair before heading out. The stairs didn't seem quite as cumbersome today. It felt good to be able to allow her emotions free without worrying about being shouted at or attacked for being mistaken for an abomination. 

Solas wasn’t in the Rotunda, so that meant they were probably still in the war room. She had planned to go straight to the underforge but now that her eyes weren’t glowing with every emotion she wanted to hug Damon. She had to keep herself from skipping the whole way, she could smile and wave at people freely. She caught a few relieved glances when she waved to some of the guards she half recognized and wondered if she had been worrying people when she’d had to suppress. 

She opened the door to Josie’s office and slipped in, smiling at the guard by the door. She headed for the War Room but faltered when she saw Varric leaning against the wall with his arms folded. She didn’t know if he was still wary of her. She reflexively reached to pull her aura back in, but it was still curled in her chest contentedly. 

“Hey…” She smiled weakly.

“Hey, Princess.” He unfolded his arms. “Thought you were sleeping?”

“I woke up a little bit ago and wanted to see Damon really quick.” She hugged her waist nervously. 

“Ah.” He grimaced slightly. “If you wouldn’t mind waiting for a bit…” He trailed off and sighed. “Hawke’s in there.”

“Oh. Right, yeah.” She looked down sadly. “I’ll try and find him later when he’s not busy.”

Varric gave her a half smile. “Thanks, Princess. It’s nothing personal, it’s just…” He trailed off and the smile faded as he glanced at the closed War Room door.

“Yeah, I understand. I’ll just-” She indicated the door behind her with her thumb and turned to go. 

She left him and shut the door tightly behind her. Well, guess it was time for plan B. It was late enough for Dorian to be in the library by now, so that was her next stop. Sure enough that’s where he was, in the little cubby he had made for himself.

“Ah, Emma. How are you feeling?” He asked, snapping the book he was reading closed as he noticed her come around the corner.

She smiled at him. “I’m good.”

Dorians brow furrowed, “That is good to hear, you had me and the others concerned when we saw Solas carrying you through the rotunda.”

She blushed. “I’m fine, I was just exhausted from using a lot of magic.” How did she sleep through that?

Dorian’s eyebrows raised. “So it’s true? You did just come into magic… Odd, considering your age.” He immediately went into nerd mode, and cupped his chin in thought. “Could it have been the breach or the mark that triggered it? Perhaps even your direct exposure to the Fade?”

Emma shrugged, “Solas said I've always been a mage but something was blocking my ability to draw from the Fade.”

Dorian’s eyes lit up at that. “Well, that does explain the odd outburst at Redcliffe.”

She nodded. “Solas could probably tell you more about it then I could… but that's not why I'm here.” She glanced around, noting that they were pretty much alone. “I think I've found a way to help Felix but I need to talk to him about it first. Do you think you could bring him down to the underforge for me? I need to get someone else to.”

“Already? It’s barely been two weeks since your ‘lab’ was set up.” He sat up, his fingers digging into the arms of his chair. 

She nodded excitedly. “Meet me there in thirty minutes and I'll explain.” 

“I'll be there in twenty.” Dorian said as he reached for his coat and headed for the stairs.

Emma smiled after him, happy to give him hope for his friend. She didn't see Fiona anywhere in the library so her best bet was probably going to be the mage’s tower. Ugggh the stairs! She really needed to figure out how to get up stairs without all of this climbing. 

Fiona was in the tower and agreed to go back with her to her lab. On the way she mentally debated informing her that her son was here. Not that she’d say it like that… Fiona would likely deny it if she did, but she really would like to see mother and son reunited. It's the least she could do for him. Right?

Dorian and Felix were already there and waiting for them. Felix looked rough, his skin looked even more pale and she could see a little cloudiness in his eyes. God, please let him agree to this. 

Once they w ere all gathered by her lab she nervously set up the microscope and laid out the sample vials of Fiona, Felix’s, and the darkspawn blood. Dagna and Harritt weren’t in the underforge today and she found herself grateful for their absence. This was going to get awkward fast. 

“Okay, so, darkspawn blood is obviously the black one, Fiona’s is regular red, and Felix’s is in between. This,” She touched her microscope. “Allows me to see things smaller than just our eyes can detect. It allows me to see what is inside our blood.”

Dorian’s eyes flicked over it curiously. “It isn’t magical at all. How does it work?”

She huffed. “You’d have to ask Damon, machines are more his area of expertise. I can show you, though.” 

She went to wash her hands at the basin and returned to pull on a pair of gloves. The three watched her with interest as she carefully set up a fresh slide with Fiona’s blood. She focused the microscope and stepped back. “There, take a look.”

Fiona hesitated but put her eye to the lense, making a soft gasp. “All of that is in my blood?”

“It is your blood. Millions and millions of them make up the red part of your blood.”

Dorian was almost vibrating with curiosity, but he waited politely enough until Fiona stepped away from the microscope and he could look. He stared for a long while before helping to steady Felix so he could look. Once they were satisfied, she prepared a slide with darkspawn blood for them. 

“This one, you can see how the blood is… changed. It’s darker and misshapen. It’s tainted. This microscope isn’t powerful enough to see inside the blood itself, but we can see the effects of the taint at least.” She readied a slide with Felix’ blood as they nervously looked over the darkspawn blood. 

“This… this is Felix.” She focused the lense and stepped back. “You can see how… how his blood is changing. If you need, I can switch it back to Fiona’s to show how it should look.”

“No, it is fairly obvious to see.” Dorian sounded upset. “You said you had found something?”

She gave him a sympathetic glance. “Yeah, if… If I take some of Fiona’s blood and mix it with Felix’s… here. I’ll just show you.” 

She mixed a drop of each sample onto a slide and set it up for them. Fiona looked first, her brow furrowed as she stared into the lense. After a long minute she gasped. “Oh! It is changing back!”

Dorian seemed to be physically restraining himself from pushing her out of the way, his hand holding onto the table top tightly until she allowed him to see.

“It is… the dark pieces of blood are changing back to red.” He looked at Emma with a slightly desperate expression. “What does this mean? Is it… is it magic?”

She shook her head. “No magic, just bodies taking care of themselves.” She pointed at the slides. “Every sickness is like that. Tiny things getting in our blood or lungs or mouth and making us sick until our body can fight it off.”

Felix frowned. “Is that why you have the healers washing everything so much? The Inquisitor personally came in and banned blood letting and yelled at a new healer for touching clean bandages without washing his hands.”

“Yeah, washing helps get rid of the tiny things, germs, that make us sick. And bleeding just opens you up to infection, lets the germs into your blood. Once you get sick with something, your body fights it and if you recover, your body remembers how to fight that type of illness and you might never get sick with it again.”

Fiona looked at her with wide eyes. “So my blood learned to fight the blight and remembers how?”

She nodded. “Basically, yeah, and because it remembers how to fight it, it can help teach Felix’s blood to fight it.” 

“Fascinating.” Dorian murmured as he put his eye to the lense again. “What does this mean for him?”

She hesitated. This was where things got tricky. “I… think that if we put some of Fiona’s blood into Felix, it could get rid of the taint.”

All three of them stared at her with various expressions of stunned horror. 

“Blood magic?”

“No. Look-” She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead to try and think. “None of this is magic. Your blood and body does this all day, every day, for a million different germs. If you touch a door handle and then your face, your body fights the germs you picked up. If someone sneezes near you, your body has to fight off the germs that were put in the air. It’s not magic, it’s just how bodies work. Oh!” She opened the slide box and flicked through her slides, pulling out one she had shown the healers. “Here, this is from an infected wound. Look.” 

She set it up and let the three of them look through. “That’s the infection, the germs causing it and the man’s blood and body fighting it off. He had no magic, no magic was used on him.”

She rolled up her sleeve and showed a small scar on her upper arm. “When I was a kid I got a lot of weak germs put in my arm, here.” She pointed out the tiny scar where the needle had cut her when she had fought the nurse during routine vaccinations. “And because they were weak my body learned to fight them off and now the stronger germs of the same type can’t make me sick.”

Fiona sat heavily on her chair. “This is a lot to take in. Wherever did you learn this? However did you learn this?”

“Um… Back home, there were a lot of really smart people. None of whom could use magic. But the point is, your blood is constantly learning and fighting germs, and sometimes sharing blood is a crude but effective way to share the… knowledge your blood has. If we put some of your blood into him, it could possibly change it back like it did on the slide. And then his blood would know how to fight it.” She twisted her hands together nervously and let them mull that over.  

Dorian pinched the bridge of his nose. “What do you think, Felix?”

Felix sighed heavily. “At this point I find myself simply curious. It… is like nothing I’ve heard of before. I’m dying and I find that I should at least like to see if this has anything to it.”

Fiona had her hand over her mouth thoughtfully. “How much of my blood would he need?”

“Probably about a pint? I… I haven’t had the time to figure the proper ratios or even to research a proper treatment, but that should be enough. I’ve been… racing the clock so I don’t have exact measurements.” She glanced at Felix. “There’s… one more thing.”

Dorian laughed sarcastically. “As if treating a magical invisible disease with ‘blood memory’ wasn’t enough? Please tell.”

Emma gave him a flat look. “Blood has it’s memories, but there’s also different types of blood. Some types can be mixed with no problems, other types will attack each other and kill the person.” She hesitated. “Fiona and Felix have different types of blood, types that will attack each other.”

Felix looked at her wearily. “I assume you have figured out a solution.” 

“There’s… a spell that convinces the blood to work together like they’re the same type.”

“So. Blood magic.” Dorian said dryly.

“No. If I saw a puddle of blood on the floor and froze it, would I be performing blood magic?”

“Technically… no, though I would wonder why that would be your first instinct.” Dorian said consideringly. 

“Blood magic is drawing power from blood, this spell is simply magic, normal magic, used on blood.”

“There is still the problem of appearing like blood magic.”

Emma huffed. “At this point I’ve been accused of being an abomination, a heretic, and a hoax. What’s one more?”

Dorian made a ‘point taken’ gesture. Felix inhaled slowly and held his breath for a moment before exhaling. “I am willing to try. If it doesn’t work, at least I’ll have died doing something interesting.”

“It’s your call, Fiona.” Emma said quietly. “I know how it looks, but it’s his best chance. And if I have more time, better equipment, I might eventually be able to figure out how to cure it without blood. But right now this is all we have. I won’t- it’s your blood, it’s your decision.”

Fiona looked thoughtfully at the vials and the microscope as if running through everything she had just been shown in her mind once more before she looked over at Emma. “How would this… blood sharing work?”

Emma gave a relieved breath, it wasn’t a no.


	41. Chapter 41

It was the middle of the night and here he was, awake again. He felt so tired and not just from the lack of sleep. Damon clutched his wrist and stood in the center of the main hall, unsure which way to go. One way led to Emma. He knew she wouldn’t mind, but going to her for two nights in a row would worry her, clue her in that he really wasn’t all right. He didn’t want to do that, was fine pretending that he was fine to her. The other way led to Cass, who he didn't know if she'd even be willing to help anymore. She’d probably sit with him because she was like that, but he… He didn’t know where he stood with her right now. 

He was about to give up and just go back to his room and try to just focus on some work when movement from the path towards Cass caught his eye. He looked over and found a concerned Cass looking at him. She was out of her armor, just wearing a soft tunic and her leggings and he could see the outline of the dragon tooth beneath the fabric of her shirt. It felt comforting that she was wearing it still, even if it was hidden. 

"Bad night?" She asked softly, moving towards him with her hands slightly away from her body. Letting him know she wasn’t armed. 

He nodded and glanced at her then around the hall in question. He still felt guilty about pulling the knife on them on the trip. He knew it wasn’t really his fault, but… still. 

Her ears flushed red. "I was just..." She sighed and looked away. "I find myself concerned for you and I walk through the hall at night to check if you are out. It is… a longer walk than I had become accustomed to."

He touched his fingers to his chin and brought then down in thanks. She gave him a small smile. "Let us go find somewhere to sit."

He nodded and jerked his head towards the underforge. It would be empty this time of night. They walked silently to the underforge, side by side, all the way to the cavern opening where the waterfall thundered past and would cover their words. He settled on the ground, far enough away from the edge that they couldn’t feel the cold mist from the water, and Cass tailor sat next to him, angled so they could see each other sign.

She studied him for a moment before pointing between his head and his wrist in question. Guilt or panic?

He tapped his wrist in answer before signing. "Dreamed I was left behind. Woke up alone."

She studied him with a lost expression. "I had not considered... you lost your whole world, did you not?"

He shrugged and signed, spelling out the words for her when she signalled she didn't know them. "My world is people. My world is here now. Home is where the heart is."

She gave him a weak smile. "Emma?"

"Among others." He looked away from her guiltily. He didn’t want to pressure her.

She sighed softly. "I… Cannot imagine how it must feel to be torn from what you know and dropped into this... chaos. It is hard enough for me to reconsider all I know and I am still surrounded by familiarity.” 

He hesitantly signed. “You doing okay?”

She hesitated before dropping her head to rest on her hand. “No. I find myself… doubting my faith. My place in my world.”

He frowned and forced his voice to cooperate. “You know… Something brought Em and I here. Something brought the two people who… They brought Emma, who memorized your world and can predict things and save lives, and they brought me who wouldn’t waste the effort trying to get back. Something… picked us.”

Cassandra tilted her head towards him and mulled that over. “You believe it was the Maker?”

“I… I can’t say. I’ve got too much and too little faith in too many gods to say that. But… If your faith is shaken, jus’ think about it. Something picked us and brought us here. I know it wasn’t anything from my old world.”

She hummed thoughtfully. “That… does help to think of. Thank you.”

He gently nudged her knee with his in reassurance. They watched the waterfall thunder past together for a while. 

“Would you-” Cassandra frowned. “If you were presented with the opportunity to go back… if Emma could go with you… would you go?”

Damon shook his head, not even having to think on it. “No. I couldn’t- wouldn’t leave this behind. Em an’ I dug in here. This is our home now.” He blew out a slow breath. “I think… I think if we somehow ended up being sent back we’d actually spend most our time trying to get back here.”

She inhaled sharply. “You think you- you think you could be pulled back?”

“I don’t know and it terrifies me. Half the time I wake up and-” He stopped and rubbed a thumb over his wrist. ”I’m so scared I’ll wake up and be back in my apartment.” He glanced at her before dropping his eyes back to his ink. “Alone.”

Her hand dropped to his knee, fingers digging in slightly like she wanted to hold on to him in case he suddenly disappeared. He immediately covered her hand with his.

“How… how do you manage with that fear looming over you?” Her voice sounded shaky.

He let out a laugh so bitter it almost sounded like a sob. “You’ve seen me. I don’t eat. I don’t sleep. Hell, Cass, I took a knife to my wrist once because my head was so fucked up I couldn’t tell if I was awake or dreaming. I-”

She gasped and her fingers tightened on his knee. 

“I… did something… years ago. Fucked with my memory. Left me with a shit ton of guilt, terrified of being alone, and a fear of falling back into it, but there’s some… sometimes I don’t know if shit really happened and…” He turned his wrist to show her. “This helps. Being with my friends helps. Bein’ near you helps. Helping people helps.” He shrugged. “That’s how I manage. I’m digging in and holding on with both hands best I can.”

She was silent for a long time, and if it wasn’t for the tight grip she had on his leg he would have been afraid she was disgusted with him. Finally, slowly, she spoke. “I… believe you are much stronger than you believe yourself to be. I...” She made a frustrated noise in her throat but her grip never lessened. “The Commander spoke to me. Told me what you said to him, how you not only forgave what he thought was unforgivable to you, but also how you offered help. He… told me that you said you understood his struggle.”

It didn’t sound much like a question, but he could still hear it lingering there in her voice. “Not the same stuff, but yeah. Been off it three years now.”

She nodded in understanding. They were quiet again for a long time, long enough that Damon felt that fuzzy feeling you get before you pass out for the night. Cassandra’s voice startled him. “I know I should send you back to sleep, but I find I cannot will myself to let you go. Now- I fear if I let you go you might disappear.”

“I’m sorry.” He’d piled more shit on her on top of everything else.

“Do not be. I suddenly understand your… you touch without thought, like you need to to make sure the person is really there. I understand now.” Her fingers squeezed his knee tighter. “I find this… reluctance to let you go makes things clearer for me.” 

His heart leaped hopefully but he didn’t pursue it. She said she needed time to think. He squeezed her hand in understanding and she made a soft noise that he couldn’t read. 

He was about to ask her about it when she scooted so that their shoulders were pressed together and leaned her head on him. He exhaled softly and rested his chin on her head, letting his eyes close in relief. It wasn’t an answer, but it was definitely not a no. He could wait. 

He felt her move and lifted his head to see her pull the necklace out of her shirt and look at the script. Her thumb smoothed over the scrollwork alongside the verses before she let it drop so it hung outside of her shirt. 

“Thank you.” She murmured. “I know you are not Andrastian, but you… have done much to support my faith despite it not being your own.”

“Faith is important. My mom loved a different god than my dad, but they still made sure the other could still feel strong in their faith.”

“Mm. They must have loved each other very much.”

“Yeah.” He put his chin back on her head and sighed. “Yeah, they did.”

It was easy to lean on each other, sometimes murmuring questions and answers, sometimes just watching the water fall past. It was easy, easy enough that one minute he was sleepily telling Cassandra about the time Emma had nailed his pants to a tree and left him stuck in the woods until nighttime (he had deserved it), and the next he was waking up to footsteps by his head with a warm and solid weight across his chest.

He reached for his knife before his eyes even opened, but his fingers met what felt like a leg instead. And not his leg. He opened his eyes and lifted his head from the floor to try and see who had woken him up, careful not to disturb Cass, who was somehow sprawled across his chest, her fingers curled securely around his inked wrist.

“Oh! You’re awake!” He looked up to find a red headed dwarf bouncing on her heels next to him. “I didn’t mean to wake you up, you look exhausted, but I needed to get my hammer. But you’re awake now, so, are you the one that designed the Scope? They said that the Inquisitor designed it but you were gone so I couldn’t talk to you about it. Can I talk to you about it? It’s an amazing machine.”

He let his head fall back to the floor with a groan as Cassandra transformed from a warm and soft weight on top of him to a flail of sharp elbows and knees. She scrambled off of him and stood, straightening her shirt with a panicked look at the dwarf.

“You’re Dagna, right?” He sighed and covered his face with his hand. Cass was not going to like this. She was the private kind of person.

“Yes! The arcanist. And you’re the Inquisitor, right? We didn’t really have a chance to meet, but I don’t think there are many other people who fit your description. How did you come up with the design for the Scope? Do you have any other designs like that? I’d-”

“I can draw you up a water or wind powered pump that moves water uphill if you don’t breathe a word of this to anyone.” He gestured blindly between the floor and Cass.

“Oh! I wouldn't anyway, I mean, people can fall asleep in odd places all the time. I once fell asleep- nevermind. That was embarrassing. So, no, I wouldn’t say anything but can I still have that deal? I’d love to see that design.”

“Yeah.” He stiffly sat up and twisted to pop his spine before rolling to his feet. “Yeah, I’ll draw it up for you when I’ve got the down time. Farms in the valley could use it.”

“Oh, wonderful!” Dagna bounced again and clasped her hands together.

Cassandra had her arms crossed over her chest defensively and was not looking at either of them. Damon winced and circled his fist over his chest in apology. She huffed and her shoulders dropped. She glanced at Dagna, who was watching them in interest and uncrossed her arms to sign. 

“I am glad you were able to sleep. Next time…” She glanced around and frowned. “Not here next time.” 

Next time. Despite being discovered in an embarrassing position there was still the invitation for next time. His mood skyrocketed and he smiled teasingly at her and laughed over his hand movements. “My place or your place?”

She blushed but set her jaw. “Mine. You will know you need to sit before me.”

He couldn’t help a soft smile as he signed a sincere thank you. He knew going into rooms was a big deal here, and the fact that she was offering to let him sit with her there was the Biggest Deal. 

“That is so fascinating. I’d heard you and the Herald had a silent language. It’s beautiful, like dancing, but you’re just talking. I bet Harritt might talk more if he could stay quiet while he did.” 

Cassandra ducked her head and hurried off with a muttered goodbye to him and Dagna. He ran a hand over his face and looked down at Dagna. She reminded him of a young Emma, oblivious and eager to learn. “Hey, what would I need to do to learn to do what you and Harritt do? Like working with the metals and other stuff?”

Her eyes widened. “Oh, that would be fun! You keep me supplied with interesting drawings and Harritt and I will teach you how to build them!”

He huffed in amusement. Honestly, even though his back was a bit stiff from sleeping on the floor, he felt pretty good. “Sounds like a deal to me.”

It took a while to get out of the underforge. He got caught up in talking with Dagna about the different types of tools and materials she used and before he knew it Harritt coughed and pointed at the door.

“Oh! It must be time for breakfast!” Dagna smiled at him brightly. “I’d love to talk with you more if you’re agreeable, you have a fascinating way of looking at things and I’d love to study your mind. Oh, that sounded ominous.”

“Nah, I’m used to it. Em’s the same way.” He laughed as the dwarf waved goodbye to him and left, chatting with a mute Harritt the whole way up the stairs.

He was about to leave as well when he heard Dagna chirp excitedly. “Yes, he’s in here! He’s really something, isn’t he? He said he’s going to give me more fun drawings!” 

Ah. Found already. Damon gave himself a glance over to make sure he wasn’t completely embarrassing before looking up to see who was looking for him. He relaxed a bit when he saw it was Solas and not one of Leliana’s runners coming down the stairs.

“Hey, man. What’s up?”

Solas’ chin tilted slightly, like he had been about to look up but caught himself. “I had something I needed to speak with you about. Privately.”

Damon looked around. “Here or somewhere else?”

“Here should be sufficient. Emma is in the main hall with Gaelathe and I fear her emotions would cause her magic to flare in an effort to fix it without fully understanding.” He waved his hand like he was casting and moved closer. 

“What was that?” Damon flicked his hand in mimicry.

“Silencing spell, so that we will not be overheard.”

“Handy.”

“Indeed.” Solas fell quiet for a moment, brow furrowed as he thought over something. When he spoke again his voice was tense. “Do you remember, when I offered to recreate your tattoo, what I said about it being used to bind slaves?”

Damon nodded warily. This was not a light thing to bring up, especially when he had the dude’s magic in his wrist already.

“The marks, they are called vallaslin, or blood writing. They allow.... ” He grimaced. “They allow the person who laid the binding to enact their will over the person bound.”

Damon nodded again, slower. He’d gotten the gist of this last time. “And this is coming up again why?”

Solas ran a hand over his hair before gesturing to Damon’s left hand. “Emma laid a mark on you yesterday by accident. The Blood Pact scar that allowed her to channel her magic into you. It… it is by all appearances a vallaslin.”

Damon opened his hand and looked at the thin silver line across his palm. It did have that same kinda shimmer to it that his wrist ink did. “So you really think she was puppeting me out there? Or could?”

Solas exhaled slowly. “I fear it may be possible and… I do not wish that on either of you.” 

Heavy. That was not a pleasant thought. He didn’t think she would, but… He considered his hand for a long moment before looking back at Solas. “We need to test it. See if she can puppet me. Back on earth this pact is something different, it isn’t just a loyalty oath or whatever, it might be different here too.”

“Test it? You find you find you might be bound to someone's will and of course you would wish to test it.” Solas scrubbed his hands over his hair and shook his head, mutturing. “Distressing, impossible people.” 

“We probably shouldn’t do it here though, anyone could walk in.” Damon suggested. He didn’t know when Dagna would show back up and he didn’t want her walking in that.

“You are correct. I…” Solas sighed. “Will collect Emma and meet you in her room.”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Damon felt a flash of amusement at Solas’ casual use of Emma’s room. “Meet you there.” 

They walked out of the underforge together, splitting at the door to the main hall, Solas heading for a corner table and Damon headed for the rotunda. He only got stopped by two runners before he managed to slip down the stairs and hide in Emma’s room. He busied himself by reading through the messages while he waited for Em and Solas to show up. One was just the measurements he needed to draw out Cullen’s skylight, and the other was just a report that didn’t need his immediate attention. He glanced around Emma’s room curiously, wondering if she’d added anything. First off, why was her bed made? In all the years he had known her, she hadn’t made her bed once. Ever. His eyes landed on a familiar staff leaned next to the head of the bed and he laughed out loud.

Oh, wow, they had pretty much moved in together already. Good thing he had gone to Cass instead of her last night! He was still snickering when the door opened and a very nervous Emma followed by a stoic Solas slipped in.

“What’s so funny?” Emma frowned.

Damon gestured towards her bed and the staff with both hands like he was presenting a prize on Wheel of Fortune. Emma’s face turned red and her eyes sparked silver for a brief second. 

“Shut up!”

“Nope.” He grinned at her. “Never gonna let you live it down, miss ‘I don’t see why you’d want to kiss someone you’re not married to’.”

Solas shook his head at them but a smug looking smile played on his face. “We did not come here to discuss our sleeping arrangements or my terrible influence on Emma.”

“Not a terible influence unless you get her started on chewing the furniture.” Damon chuckled at the choking sound Emma made but fell serious. “Em, Solas says this is a vallaslin.” He held out his hand to show her the silver line.

Emma paled and her eyes sparked, Solas moved to stand behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “No, That’s not- but how? It was just our scars…. Oh My God! Damon, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to! I can-”

“Before you panic!” He held up his hands to stop her. “I want to test it, it might be different because it was our scars.”

Emma blinked, breathed deeply, and leaned back against Solas, who switched his hold to cradle her from behind. “Oh. Okay, how?”

“That is all? He gives you a, what did you call it? A ‘harebrained’ idea and you simply ask how?” Solas glanced between the two of them and shook his head slightly like he was giving up on something. Probably on understanding them. 

Emma nodded. “Yeah. So, how do you want to test it?”

“I want you to try and make the glowing thing happen like last time, but when we’re connected or whatever, try your very hardest to make me do something. I mean it, as hard as you can. It’s gotta be a proper try otherwise we won’t know for sure.”

She inhaled shakily but nodded. “Okay. Let’s do it.” 

She held out her hand and frowned. A split second later the scar across her palm began glowing silver and the line across his responded. He reached out and grabbed her hand, putting their scars together and gasping as the livewire feeling raced through him. He glanced at an anxious looking Solas, who was once again overlaid with a green haze, and gave him a reassuring smile. Was funny, but with the two of them standing closer together it was like their auras were all swirled together, but still loose, like an abandoned braid.

“S’all good so far.”

He felt something shift and then there was Emma’s voice.

“Do the macarena.” It sounded kinda echo-y and her lips weren’t moving, so it had to be a mental message.

“No.” 

She said it again, somehow louder in his mind, and it quickly devolved into them shouting at each other mentally. He felt her presence push against him insistently and shoved back. Emma physically stumbled back, breaking their connection. 

Damon glanced at her uncertainly. “Was that it?”

She nodded. “I really was trying as hard as I could.”

“What happened?” Solas steadied Emma and glanced between them anxiously.

“She told me to do somethin’, I said no-”

“You said no?” Solas’ eyes widened before his brows furrowed in thought.

“Yeah, I said no, we argued for a bit, I felt her try to push me, so I pushed back.” He shrugged. “Didn’t feel like she could control me at all.”

“I really was trying too.” Emma chewed on her lip. 

Solas looked between them, clearly stunned. “You were able to argue?”

“Yesss.” Damon said slowly. He’d said that already. “I didn’t want to and told her so.” 

“What did she tell you to do?” He still looked tense.

“A stupid dance that I will never do unless it’s to teach Gaelathe the song to sing at her at the top of his lungs.” He gave Emma a playful glare. He knew Emma wouldn’t puppet him, but it was still a huge relief that it wasn’t actually a possibility.

Solas ran a hand over his head but let out a relieved breath and turned to gather Emma into his arms. “Ir abelas, Emma’lath, but I had to be sure.”

Emma nodded. “I understand, but what is it if it’s not a vallaslin?”

“It looks like some kinda rope.” At Emma’s questioning glance he explained. “When we’re hooked up, or you’re full out magicking, I can see y’all’s auras, and like, a rope of magic runnin’ between our hands.” 

Solas paled slightly but Emma didn’t seem to notice. “So you saw a rope connecting us? Like a bond or a tie? Did it look like magic?”

Damon squinted at Solas, wondering which part of that explanation had set him off. “Like a thousand tiny threads connecting us together. Some of ‘em were frayed, but they all twisted together like a rope. And yeah, magic. Was the color of your aura. Yours is silver and his is green.”

Emma frowned, “I just heard it, it sounded like protection, promise, and love but I didn't see anything besides your hand glowing.” She glanced at Solas then back at him. “You could actually see the auras?” 

“Yeah. Like a glowing cloak sorta deal, ‘cept yours are kinda tangled a little bit. Is it cuz you’re talking with ‘em? Or cuz you’re…” He made an obscene motion with his hands just to see Emma turn bright red and hide her face in her hands. 

Solas shut his eyes briefly and for the first time since he’d found out about their relationship the guy didn't look smug or playful about it. “It is possible that it may be due to our relationship.”

“Huh.” Dude was being shifty about the auras then. “Now that the puppet issue is fixed I gotta get to work, but I’m gonna want to talk to you about the aura thing. Seems interesting.” He kept his words casual but fixed Solas with a direct look while Emma had her face hidden. It would probably be best to figure it out before telling her, what with the reactive magic.

Solas’ chin dipped in the slightest nod. Yeah, he got the message and they’d be talking about whatever that was. Damon stepped forward and punched Emma’s shoulder lightly, getting a slap on the wrist in return. 

“I gotta go, Lil’bit. See y’all later.” He stepped for the door, steadying himself on the frame when he got hit with a bit of lightheadedness. He probably needed some water. 

“Damon? You okay?” Emma's voice sounded worried. He heard her step towards him.

“Yeah. Just need some water.”

“When did you eat last?” She sounded upset now.

“Uh.” He tried to think, but he honestly couldn’t remember except maybe the last night of the trip here. He turned his head to give her a sheepish grin. “I dunno. Shit just kept comin’ up.” 

Solas’ earlier expression of repressed panic faded into one of concern as Emma stepped forward.

“Damon!” He knew that look, she was about to go mother hen on him. He cut whatever she was about to say off as he opened the door.

“Don’ worry, I'll grab something before I g-” He startled when a small loaf of bread with what looked like cheese and meat stuck in between it’s halves was pushed into his hands. He reflexively grabbed it and looked at Cole in surprise. “Oh. Thanks, kiddo. Haven’t seen you in a while.” 

“She worries, heart heavy on her chest. He looked pale, tripped on the stair, leaned on the wall. I should have said something, brought something. He needs to eat, I haven’t seen him eat since the road.” Cole gave him a small smile before he disappeared.

Damon’s chest tightened at his words and he glanced back at Emma and Solas, braced for a bad reaction. Emma was smiling softly at him, while Solas looked pleased. “It seems the Seeker has made up her mind.” He then smiled. “And the Bull has lost by a day.”

Damon rolled his eyes, relieved they weren’t going to make a big deal about it, and bit into the crude sandwich as he slipped out of Emma’s room and off to work. 

  
  
  


 

 Emma leaned back against Solas as she watched Damon close the door behind him. Once the door was closed she let out a happy sigh that made Solas chuckle.

“He and Cassandra are a good match.”

        Emma nodded as she turned in his arms to bury her face in his chest. “I think so… maybe she’ll even calm him down some.”

        Solas snorted. “I find that difficult to believe.” He pulled back and pressed his lips to her forehead making her go all jelly inside. Seriously, it was one of the best feelings in the world. “Forgive me for worrying you, ma’lath.”

         “I understand.” Emma shivered at the thought of accidentally binding Damon to her like the Evanuris… “I’m glad we made sure.”

          He hummed in agreement as he sat on her bed and pulled her into his lap. She went willingly and laid her head on his shoulder. They just stayed that, content to just hold onto each other. At times, Solas seemed to be all passion and heat but in moments like this, these quiet unrushed moments, he was content just to hold he and it made her hope.

         She wasn’t sure how long it was before he spoke but she knew she was close to dozing off. “As much as I loathe to say it, Ma’lath, I have to finish my report for the Nightingale.”

        She nodded glumly and sat up. “I should probably finish setting things up in the underforge.”

         Solas kissed her before standing. “I’ll join you for the noon meal.”

         “Okay.” She smiled as she watched him leave. Her aura hummed in contentment as she let herself fall backwards on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. 

          She had about a little over a year and a half, if her calculations were correct, before the final battle with Corypheus, before the orb was destroyed. Before Solas- she cut off the thought as she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. Nothing was set in stone. Hadn’t she already proved that? Wisdom was safe. She didn’t have to travel time to save the mages. Felix might be cured or at least have a lot more time now. Who's to say what will happen?

        Reluctantly she pushed herself from the the bed and headed for the door. She had things to do, she could worry about things like that later. She ran over her progress mentally as she walked. She really needed a centrifuge if she was going to try and figure out how to make a broad spectrum cure. Emma stepped into the rotunda and closed the door behind her. She needed to just write a note and have a runner give it to Damon. She kept forgetting to ask him about a centrifuge when they were together. 

“Ah! There you are, bella stella.” Zevran said right next to her. 

She startled and whirled to see him leaning against the wall by the door she had just come out of. “Zev! You startled me!” She laughed.

He pushed away from the wall and smirked. “I was told I should find you before you reached the Undercroft and were lost to your research. Come, it is time for your first lesson with daggers.”

“Oh, but I left them… all the way downstairs.” She sighed. She had just gotten up the stairs.

“Non è un problema. I have procured practice daggers for you.” He gestured for her to follow him.” 

“Grazie.” She went with him willingly enough, both excited by the thought of learning from him, and dreading the amount of times she was probably going to end up on her butt. She still hadn’t gotten over the embarrassment of trying to train with Cass.

Zevran gave her a few curious glances as they headed for the training yard. “Dove sono le stelle oggi? Qualcosa non va?”  _ Where are the stars today? Is something wrong? _

“Non c'è niente di sbagliato.” She shook her head. “Apparently I just had too much magic. I used up a lot yesterday, so now my eyes are back to normal.”

“Ah, such a pity, I enjoyed them. Though I find your eyes without magic are just as stunning.” He gave her a charming grin and she felt her face heat up. 

If he kept this up every lesson she was going to combust from embarrassment. Once they reached the training area, he selected a pair of daggers from a box and handed them to her handle first. 

“Have you any experience with daggers?”

She twirled the daggers over her fingers and spun them till the handles hit her palm securely and she was holding them as if ready to stab downwards. He raised an eyebrow but she shrugged. “And… that’s all I know.”

“It tells me that you at least know which end to hold.” He laughed.

He started to have her go through basic movements, correcting and complimenting equally, with enough flirting mixed in to keep her face red the entire time. He was a very hands on kind of teacher. The hundredth time he had her repeat the same move she caught sight of a dark shape out of the corner of her eye. She looked over to find Damon sitting on the fence with a clipboard like Josie’s balanced on his knees that he had a stack of papers pinned to. He was watching her with a grin and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“Must I compete for your attention now, Stella?” Zevran sounded amused.

“She’s not whose attention I was after.” Damon teased, belying his flirtatious words by dropping his eyes back to his papers and drawing a line. 

“Mi dispiace.” She apologized and tried to refocus on the move he was drilling her on. She sighed when she felt Solas’ aura brush against hers curiously. How was she supposed to focus with Damon right there, Solas hovering, and Zevran being… Zevran? She sent a frustrated impression of trying to focus to Solas and tried the move again, slowly so she could get the feel for it and wouldn’t lock her elbow again. 

Zevran nudged her arm up a bit then glanced over her shoulder. He smirked in Damon’s direction and moved behind her. “Imagine it as a dance, la mia Stella.” His hands went to lightly grip and guided her hips into the movement. “You are too crude in your movements, move like a dancer.”

Emma flushed as he guided her hips to match the paths of her daggers and after a moment he hummed approvingly and stepped back. “Again, Stella. I should like you to have learned this before it gets much warmer.” He grinned, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it over the fence.

She froze, wide eyed and most definitely staring at him. Zevran. A shirtless Zevran. In front of her. Shirtless. She noticed several more tattoos curling across his chest than she had seen on him in Origins and felt Solas’ aura suddenly press against hers with a flare of jealousy. She wished she could just combust into flames and disappear. He felt close, like, right behind her close. 

“Woo! Work it, Honey!” 

Damon catcalled playfully and she whirled, her embarrassment flaring into temper, and flung the dagger at him. The jerk didn’t even flinch when it thudded into the fence post inches beneath his feet. He just grinned at her and leaned down to pull it from the wood.

“Really?” She threw her hands up in the air. What about Cass? Solas was standing near the gate to the training yard, hands behind his back and his eyes settled narrowly on Zevran. 

“Attraction ain’t action, EmTi.” He grinned impishly and cut his eyes to Solas.

“That is true.” Zevran sounded positively delighted. “But, la mia Stella, that was a wonderfully lucky throw.” 

She huffed and stomped over to get her dagger back from Damon, who laughed and winked at Zev. “That wasn't luck, Honey. She never misses a punch or a target.” 

“I know how to throw knives. I just can’t fight with them. Dad taught us both to use a bow, throw a knife, and throw a punch.” She sent an apology to Solas with her aura, along with frustrated embarrassment and reassurance. He was slower in responding than usual but when he did, she flushed and fumbled with her daggers as an image of him pinning her in a dark corner and working a new mark higher on her neck formed in her mind. 

“Most impressive.” Zevran hummed as he leaned leisurely against the railing, tattoos stark against his tan skin in the sunlight. She just might kill Leliana for this. “I'll be sure to remember that for future training. I must say, I am surprised a mage would pursue the art of blades.”

“Wasn’t always a mage, and you should always have a backup plan.” She muttered.

“And backup your backups.” Damon snorted and pretended to turn his attention back to his papers. She could see him glancing between her, Zev, and Solas in interest though. “Hey, Honey, what kinda metal is that? Is it heat resistant?”

Emma glanced down at the dull blades… that was an incredible idea. Solas surprised her by vaulting the fence and coming to stand next to her. “You wish to see if they will channel her magic?”

Damon nodded, looking pleased he had caught on that fast. “Sorta, yeah, mix attack types. Hard to block magic and physical without enchanted shields or armor. Most people don’t got that.” 

Zevran glanced between Damon and Emma with interest. “That would be fascinating and useful.” 

He walked over and took the practice daggers from Emma's hands and handed her his own from his belt instead. Emma didn't miss the expression, or lack thereof, on Solas’ face, like he was trying not to let his emotions show while his aura flared and twisted possessively around hers. Seriously, what did she have to do to calm him down? She liked Zev, yeah, and his romance was well written, but come on, she was with him. She had already told him that and she wasn't changing her mind no matter the heartache that might be waiting for her in the end.

Zevran stepped away and went to stand next to where Damon was perched on the fence. She pressed her aura against Solas’ and murmured, “Dahaban'ane ina'lan'ehn fen'emen Ma'vhenan.”  _ The crow is pretty but the wolf holds my heart.  _ Before stepping a bit away and focusing on her magic, imagining it racing through her hands and through the daggers.

The blades burst into white flames and she spun them over her fingers like she had with the practice blades, laughing as they left trails of silver-white flame in the air. They gave off little heat but she wondered if it was just because it was her fire that it didn't burn her. Solas’ aura curled around hers, radiating pleasure, satisfaction, and pride.

“Badass!” Damon laughed. “Imagine one of those fuckers comin’ at your face!”

Zevran clapped, smiling widely. “Bravo, la mia Stella, I know now we can get creative with your training and form a style to fit you uniquely.”

Emma grinned and let the fire fade out of existence, before hugging Solas who hadn't moved as far away from her as Zevran, careful to keep the blades away from him. “What did you think?” 

“That was beautiful, ma’lath!” He smiled and wrapped his arm around her to settle his hand on her hip, pulling her against his side. And…. he was still acting possessive. Emma rolled her eyes.

“If you can do it with fire you can also probably use lightning or-” Damon was cut off by a crash as something smashed through the window at the top of the building beside the training yard, glass shattering and raining down into the yard below. 

Solas’ head cocked to one side as he looked up at the window. “It seems the Seeker has discovered the presence of the Champion.”

Emma felt her stomach drop. Crap! She had completely forgotten to try and soothe things over with her about Hawke. Damon’s head snapped towards Solas at the mention of Cassandra and he jumped off of the fence and headed for the door to the building. Emma tore away from Solas’ hands to chase after him.

Damon was halfway up the stairs when she reached the doors and she mentally cursed her shorter legs as she heard a thump above her head and Cassandra shout.

“You knew where Hawke was all along!”

She took the stairs two at a time, trying to catch up.

“You conniving little shit!”

“Whoah! What the fuck is this?” Damon yelled.

“You kidnapped me! You interrogated me! What did you expect!?” Emma reached the top of the stairs to see Varric had already moved behind the table, keeping it between him and Cass.

Cass moved like she was about to jump over the table to get at him but Damon dropped his clipboard and intercepted her with an arm around her waist. “Jus’ hold up one godsdamned minute and tell me what the fuck is goin’ on?”

‘He knew!” She accused, pulling away and pointing at Varric. “He knew where Hawke was this whole time.”

“Damn right I did!” Varric defended himself, looking at Damon. “You would have done the same if it had been Princess.”

Damon glanced between the two with a bewildered expression. “I’m goin’ to be honest here, I still don’t know what is going on.”

He glanced back at Emma questioningly.

“Long or short?” She asked, hugging herself as Cass glared daggers at Varric.

“Short.”

Well here goes nothing. “Cass was trying to find Hawke, Varric didn’t know why but didn’t think it was anything good because of things that went down in Kirkwall. Cass didn’t explain, just interrogated. Varric wanted to protect Hawke so he lied and said he didn’t know. Cass just found out.”

“Shit, That’s the short version?” Damon shook his head. 

“I was protecting my friend!” Varric just looked exhausted now as he scrubbed at his face. “Can’t you see that?”

“We needed someone to lead the Inquisition, the Hero of Fereldon was missing and the mages and templars respected Hawke.” 

Emma felt anger burn in her chest at the mention of Cousland. “Trust me, Cass, the last thing this world needed was that asshole Cousland in charge of the Inquisition.” 

Damon visibly startled when she swore, his eyes flicking to hers before he got that expression that meant he was making a mental note.

Cassandra glanced at her eyes uncertainly and continued in a quieter tone. “Even after the Conclave he kept her a secret. When we needed her most.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Varric threw his hands into the air before gesturing towards Damon. “The Inquisition has a leader and a damn good one! Besides, she’s with us now. We’re on the same side!”

“We all know whose side you’re on, Varric. It will never be the Inquisition’s.” Cassandra growled back at him.

“Cass! That isn’t fair.” Damon frowned. “I know you were scared, but he was too. Kaiidth! We can’t stay angry at each other for ‘could have beens’.” 

Cassandra sighed and turned her back on Varric, leaning on the railing. “You are right. I must not think of what could have been. We have so much at stake.” She dropped her head, sounding defeated. “Go Varric, just go.”

Varric shook his head but headed for the stairs before pausing and looking back at Cass. “You know what I think? If Hawke had been at the temple, she’d be dead too. You people have done enough to her.” 

Emma winced, but knew the words had to be said. Damon watched Varric leave with a confused but sympathetic expression before moving to Cass’ side and leaning on the railing next to her. Emma let out a soft exhale and followed Varric down the stairs to give them some privacy. Damon had her. 

Solas was waiting at the bottom of the stairs looking annoyed, the reason, she guessed, being the Antivan leaning against the wall not far away. She got to the bottom and sighed. “I should have talked to her sooner.”

‘You had a lot on your mind, Emma’lath.” Solas said to her as he took her by the elbow, “Come, you need to wash before the noon meal."

Zevran pushed off of the wall and followed them outside. “La Mia Stella, you must tell me how you know the Hero was an ‘Asshole’. The stories I have heard paint him to be quite selfless.”

Urrrgh, curse his elven hearing! She shuddered. “I saw what he did…” She trailed off and looked towards the top window of the Rotunda. 

Zevran followed her gaze and she could see a flash of pain in his eyes before he looked back at her and smiled. “So, il mio usignolo was right, you know things others do not. I confess, I had not believed it.”

She leaned on Solas, emotionally exhausted. “Yeah.” She whispered, hoping he’d leave it alone. Could this day just be done now? She was ready for it to be done.

Zevran seemed to read her thoughts because he just gave her a small smile and a bow. “Until tomorrow, la Mia Stella.”

She allowed Solas to lead her inside and to her room. No sooner had the door closed before she was pressed against it, Solas trapping her with his body and capturing both of her hands to pin them above her head. 

“I believe I made you a promise, elvar’asha.” Solas growled against her ear.


	42. Chapter 42

Damon was trying his best to get through some of the shit that had piled up while he was gone. He didn’t know when they’d be heading to Crestwood yet, but he needed to get through as much of this paperwork as he could before they did. Life was so much easier after cell phones were invented. Half of this could be done in five minutes if he could text. 

Gaelathe was propped on his lap and was happily chewing on his fingers as Damon worked. He’d just reached his self allotted break time and had pulled the drawings for the skylight towards himself when he heard footsteps on the stairs. Em must have wanted to talk about something. He glanced up when the footsteps rounded the corner and reflexively reached for where his knife was sitting on his desk when he saw that the figure was too tall and thin to be Em, turning slightly so Gaelathe was covered by his arm. 

He relaxed and let his fingers drop from the handle when he saw it was Solas. “Dude, you’re not Em.” He huffed and leaned back in his chair, trying to keep his breathing even. He was on a hair trigger and that wasn’t a good sign for how tonight was going to run.

Solas’ eyes flicked between him and his knife thoughtfully before he spoke. “No, I am not. She asked me to bring you this while she  showed Dorian her microscope.” He lifted a plate piled high with food in illustration. 

“Lunch already?” Damon frowned. “I mean, thanks.”

Solas’ brow furrowed. “It… it is the evening meal.” He glanced at the open doors that led to the balcony. 

Damon looked out and hummed when he saw the sun was starting to set behind the mountain line. He must have missed lunch somewhere in the day. “Huh. Look at that.” 

“You are frustratingly inconsistent.” The mage shook his head as he walked over to set the plate on his desk. “You are startlingly observant and yet oblivious to a concerning degree.” 

“Speaking of…” Damon grabbed some sort of root vegetable from the plate and popped it in his mouth. “Why’re you all shifty about y’all’s auras?”

Solas’ face settled into a blank mask and his hands went behind his back. Damon could see him settling defensively into his ‘humble apostate’ act. 

“Uh uh, this concerns Emma. I’m not dropping it and you ain’t gonna play dumb.”

“I was simply considering how best to explain it.” Solas’ voice sounded tight. 

Damon gave a conceding nod and waited, eating absently as he watched Solas think. 

“Did Emma tell you how she came into her magic?” He began to pace in front of the desk as he spoke.

Damon shook his head and readjusted Gaelathe in his lap. They hadn’t really had the chance to discuss it with things happening one after the other. 

Solas inhaled slowly. “It was…” he started, then shook his head and began again. “I used my aura to enter her conscious mind and sought out the barrier blocking her magic.” 

That sounded really fascinating but Solas was being vague. “And then?”

“When her magic was unleashed, she…” He shook his head again but this time a small smile played across his face. “Instinctively reciprocated.”

“And then?” Damon twirled his fingers in a ‘get to it’ gesture.

He gave him a brief, frustrated glance. “I was not prepared for it. She should not have been able to… That form of magic had not been used in centuries… not since the last of my people. It takes years of practice and study to be able to perform that magic as well.” He shook his head, looking guilty. “It was my mistake, I was too eager to see her restored that I did not think through what could happen.”

“Hmm. And what kind of magic is it?” So it wasn’t just a mind meld gone wrong. “What was the mistake?”

“The mistake was underestimating her.” Solas actually shifted uncomfortably. “Her magic is instinctive. Where others are clumsy and must train to perfect spells, her magic flows naturally with her will.”

“And the magic y’all did? What kind was it?” Damon narrowed his eyes. Dude was actively avoiding the subject now. 

“It is not simple to explain…” Solas hesitated before swearing in elvhen and scrubbing his hands over his hair. “It was a bonding ritual rarely used even centuries ago when it was remembered. I barely managed to pull away before she completed it.” 

Damon’s eyes widened. Oh shit. “Binding like the vallaslin?” 

He grimaced and shook his head. “No. Not-” He sighed and moved to collapse onto the couch. “Not like vallaslin. It is a ritual, a bond of auras, tied together so one is always aware of the other. Ancient elvhen did not perform it lightly. A bonding ritual where two become one.”

“Holy shit, you almost accidentally magically married her?” Damon gaped at him, suddenly realizing why Solas looked so guilty about the deal. 

Solas closed his eyes and nodded. “In the most basic of senses, yes… it was not meant… If I had expected her to be able to respond I would not have…” He pressed a hand over his eyes. “Due to my mistake we are tied together. We can feel each other’s aura precisely enough to communicate with them. But we are not yet permanently bound to each other.” Solas looked up briefly. “Only she can break the connection between us. I… I have tried but… I can not.”

Well shit. No wonder he had wanted to murder Cullen for cutting her aura off. It must have literally felt like having her ripped away. Damon studied Solas’ posture and expression, how he was slumped in the couch instead of his usual straight spine, his face in his hand. Dude felt guilty and embarrassed, but he didn’t seem like he hated the tie, that ‘yet’ was a rather telling word, but rather how it had happened. Damon would bet he was scared too, but would probably never admit it. 

“Can’t or don’t want to?”

Solas chuckled mirthlessly, “I find myself asking the same question.” He looked down at his hands as if seeing something on them, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “It would be kinder in the long run.”

“Fuck that! Don’t you fuckin’ do her like that!” Damon stopped and took a moment to breathe, to shove his temper down. 

Solas flinched and opened his mouth to respond but Damon beat him to it.

“Don’t you take her choice away from her like that. Talk to her. She can choose for herself. If you don’t want to be connected, man up and tell her so she can let you go. Otherwise, let her fucking decide for herself!” Damon inhaled sharply and closed his eyes as Gaelathe made a quiet fuss. He spoke again in a more level tone. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have shouted that at you.”

“The last thing I want is to cause her pain.” Solas ran his hands through his hair again before looking up. “Damon, you must understand, I am in hiding, an immortal ancient elvhen. Seen as the destroyer of my own people.” He looked down at his hands again before dropping his head into them. “My plans after Corypheus is dealt with? How could I even ask her to live with that?”

“She’s a grown ass woman who can decide what she wants and what she is willing to deal with. I get that you’re ‘complicated’, but you need to make your own choices and not take away hers.  She's got her eyes wide open ‘bout you.”  He ran a hand over his face. He was not cut out to be playing relationship counselor. “So Emma doesn’t know about your auras?” He asked quietly. At Solas’ head shake he frowned. He had guessed as much. “You need to tell her. I get it was an accident, but she has to know. That kinda thing is too big to keep from her.” 

Solas inhaled deeply and sat up, arranging himself back into his proper posture. “I have been meaning to, it is simply… not an easy thing to approach.” 

“Yeah, I can see that. She still needs to know.” He studied Solas before making up his mind. “You got to break it to her or I will. I get it’s rough, so I’ll give you some time, but she’s my sis, I gotta take care of her.” 

Solas clenched his jaw but nodded and stood. “Very well.” 

Damon wanted to offer him some sort of reassurance. Emma would probably handle it better than Solas expected, but he didn’t know what he could say. A magical tie was a bit more of a mistake than accidentally giving someone the equivalent of a wedding ring. He dropped his eyes to Gaelathe and let him grab onto his fingers. “Hey, she’s… Gonna be crude here, but she’s already sleepin’ with you, man. She wouldn’t do that if she didn’t have a shit ton of feelings for you.”

Solas gave him a tight smile and nodded as he turned for the stairs. He paused and glanced over his shoulder. “What does ‘kaiidth’ mean? I heard you shout it at the Seeker.”

He blinked at Solas, confused at the sudden subject change. “‘What is’. It’s… a sorta philosophy from another story. What is, is. Can’t change what is, but you can decide how you will change what will be. What’s done is done sorta thing.” 

Solas inclined his head and murmured the word again under his breath before heading for the stairs. “Good evening, Damon.” 

“Ev’nin’.” Damon watched him leave thoughtfully. He hoped Emma reacted to finding out about that okay. They were both painfully, obviously in love but something… something was stuck between them. Hopefully they figured it out soon. 

He finished eating and fed Gaelathe his evening bottle before gathering up his stuff and heading out to take him back to Orana. As much as he’d love to keep the kid in his room tonight, he was too twitchy lately to feel safe doing it. He pressed a kiss to Gaelathe’s head as he walked. He needed to get his shit together faster so he could be there for him as much as he could be while running the Inquisition without cell service or vehicles that could break twenty miles an hour.

It took him longer than he had expected to return the plate to the kitchens. One of the staff was apparently friends with Orana and fussed over Gaelathe, refreshingly uncaring that he was the Inquisitor. She even chatted with him about food and even surprised him by insulting him playfully. She had actually forced him to take a small bundle of dried fruit with him when he left, muttering about not remembering why she needed to give it to him, but that he had to take it. He had humored her, and by extension most likely Cole. Seemed like most of the time when someone did something nice but couldn’t remember why they did it, it led back to the kid. 

Another stop to hand off papers to Josie’s assistant, another to give Gaelathe to Orana for the night, and then he was back in his room, ignoring the fading light in the sky and working on figuring out how to support the glass enough to withstand a few hundred pounds of snow without messing up the open feeling.  

And then he was waking up, scrambling away from where he had fallen asleep over his papers, away from the line of ghosts waiting for him. He took a shuddering breath and clutched his wrist, looking around his room. He knew he was alone. Knew that it was just a dream, but he could still feel the eyes of his dead. He was alone. Gods, he was alone. He picked up his knife from the floor with shaking hands and slipped it into his belt. He was alone, but he didn’t have to be.

He hesitated at the door to his room, but a single glance back at the dark stairway to his sleeping quarters had him entering the main hall and heading for Cass. He passed a few guards, most of whom pretended to ignore him, but a few grinned and he knew that this was just adding fuel to those wildfire rumors. He couldn’t get himself to care beyond hoping Cass didn’t have to punch too many people. 

He counted doors until he reached the one he remembered Cass marking on the map back when they first got to Skyhold. He knocked softly and started counting to thirty. He had only reached twenty when the door cracked open and a sleep rumpled Cass appeared.

“I was just about to walk through the hall.” She murmured, opening the door for him to come in.

He gave her a grateful look as he slipped into her room. She shut the door safely behind him and nodded towards a couch set up by the wall. 

“No floor tonight?” He signed, already feeling less tense with her in the same room as him.

She huffed. “No, no floor tonight. Sit.”

“As you wish.” It slipped out absently but he didn’t regret it. 

Cassandra made a soft noise in her throat, but it sounded pleased as she went to her desk. ““I was not sure if you would have need tonight but,” she removed a white cloth that covered a plate of cheeses and crackers. “Have you eaten?”

“I…” He frowned as he thought, Solas had brought him something… was that today? “I think I ate dinner, but yeah, I could eat.” He didn’t feel hungry, but he was self aware enough to know that didn’t mean much when he was like this 

“You think?” She sounded more curious than scolding as she brought the plate to him and sat beside him. 

“Time’s weird.” He gestured at his head with one hand and took a piece of cheese with the other. “Hard to keep track.” 

She made a thoughtful noise but didn’t pursue it. “Several people have approached me today to warn me about the Antivan.”

“Oh?” Damon was a bit curious what had been said. “What’d they say?”

She huffed. “Most simply informed me that you were flirting with him, another asked if I minded sharing you. That one has been assigned extra training with the shield.” 

“Isn’t…?” He glanced at her, impressed, as he realized what she’d done.

“Yes. The Iron Bull volunteered to help train our soldiers in the use of the shield. He is quite… aggressive with the task.” A smirk played about her lips.

“Badass.” He shook his head fondly and bit into a cracker. “You don’ mind, do ya? It’s just playin’.”

“Yes, I know.” She scooted closer so that their arms were pressed together. “I noticed that your flirting had become mere amusing words some time ago. I do not mind.” She snorted. “As I was informed our highly esteemed Inquisitor said, ‘attraction ain’t action’.” She attempted to mimic his accent and failed horribly.

He chuckled. “True. If it really did bother you though, I’d try an’ stop.”

She hummed. “You are often crude and not near as amusing as you think yourself to be, but I do not believe you to ever be disloyal.” She gave him a sharp glance when he opened his mouth. “I did not know you then. It took some time to see past the… loud and base mask you present to the world. Our life is often dark and sad. I would not begrudge you a few playful words.”

He smiled down at the near empty plate in his lap. It was funny how fragile that mask seemed to be sometimes. “Thanks. ‘S not so much a mask as just… part of me turned up louder.”

“I find I quite like the man behind the noise.” She said quietly. “But he does need to sleep.”

Damon huffed and bumped her shoulder with his. “As you wish.”

Her ears turned red and she took the plate from his hands and stood to take it back to the desk. She picked up a blanket off of her bed and brought it to him. She frowned and glanced between the couch and her bed uncertainly.

“You don’t gotta stay next to me if it makes you uncomfortable. I can see you from here if I wake up.” He said quietly as he accepted the blanket. “You’re… thank you. Not being alone ‘s enough.”

She made a frustrated noise. “I was simply wondering if you wished me to stay with you but was searching for a way to say it that would not prompt a dirty joke.” 

He chuckled and swung his feet up onto the couch. “Fair.” He laid down with his head on the arm of the couch and smiled at her. “Really is up to you.” 

She shook her head. “There is no room. Just… wake me if…”

At his nod she slipped into her bed and blew out the candle nearby. “Goodnight, Damon.” She whispered.

The fireplace cast a soft glow over the room. It was… calming. The soft light and the steady sounds of gentle breathing eased the panic always lurking in his chest. He wasn't alone. “Goodnight, Cass.”

It was easier to fall asleep, and easier to fall asleep again when he woke with a pounding heart but could glance over and see Cass’ outline in the dim light. His dreams after that were odd. He felt like something was searching for him, trying to track him down, but he wasn’t scared, the thing hunting him felt familiar.

“Damon! Your hand!”

Damon blinked and struggled to sit up at Cassandra’s slightly panicked sounding voice. He looked around for the threat, but she was just staring at him with wide eyes. “Wha’sit?”

“Your hand, it is glowing!”

He looked at his left hand and sure enough, the pact scar was glowing and there was still the faint sense of being searched for. “Shit! Em!” He leaped off of the couch and grabbed the cloth that had been covering the plate last night, wrapping it around his hand to hide the glow. “I gotta go find Em.”

Cassandra’s eyes flicked to his hand in confusion but she nodded and pulled a sweater over her shirt and belted her sword to her waist. “Alright. Let us find her.” 

He paused and glanced at her sword and back to her face, remembering that she and Emma weren’t exactly on good terms right now. Cassandra sighed impatiently. “In case there is trouble. Now go, I will be at your back.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Emma woke with a sleepy grumble when Solas moved his arm that pillowed her head. “Wha’ time s’it? You’re s’pos t’be a somniari, tha’ means sleep.” 

Solas chuckled and kissed her hair, “As tempting as staying in bed with you is, Emma’lath, I am expected to meet with the other advisors this morning.”

Emma scrubbed at her face and sat up in effort to wake herself up more. “Didn't know there was a meeting.”

Solas hummed as he rose from the bed and reached for his shirt. “It is just the advisors. I believe it has to do with some tedious day to day matter that do not actually concern me at all, but I must attend for appearances sake.” She made a pouting face when he pulled the shirt over his head, causing him to chuckle and lean in to kiss her. “You are insatiable!” 

She giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a cheeky grin. “What can I say? You are very easy on the eyes.” 

Solas laughed. “Minx.” He kissed her again before pulling away and freeing himself from her arms. “I must go. I will see you after breakfast.” 

She nodded and watched him run his fingers through his hair, straightening it without much effort at all before he left. That was so not fair. She probably had enough tangles that it would take her at least thirty minutes to do her hair . She should probab ly cut it back to where she preferred it, but there was no way she was going to attempt that herself. 

She slid out of bed and forced a brush through her hair and stuck it in a braid to keep it out of her face. Maybe, if she hurried, she could get a bit of research done before Zevran found her. Oh! Maybe she could catch Damon before he got caught up in work and ask him for a centrifuge draft. He didn’t mind mornings too much. 

She walked up the stairs and through the main hall, smiling at a guard standing near the door to Damon’s room before she slipped in. 

“Damon? Coming in!” She called out as she navigated the steps. He didn’t reply. 

Had she missed him already? His room turned out to be empty, his bed made but his desk cluttered with papers. She sighed as she realized she’d have to run all over Skyhold to find him now. Unless…. She glanced at her hand in thought. Damon had said it was like a rope tying them together. Maybe she could follow it to him? She closed her eyes and tried to focus on her hand, focus past the loudness of the mark and onto the pact. She could hear it, like a song so familiar you could sing it in your sleep. She tried to follow it to where it connected, but it was too vague, too connected to herself. She ended up walking in a circle around his room before she gave up.

At least she knew he was still there. She would just have to find him the old fashioned way though. Curious, she went to his desk to see what he had been drawing yesterday. The scattered papers seemed to be vaguely separated into two halves, one side of the desk with letters and notes and the other with his drawings. She ignored the letters and used the tips of her fingers to tilt a drawing so she could look at it. She frowned as she deciphered Damon’s neatly labeled lines. A skylight? That was an odd thing for him to focus on. He usually preferred things with a lot of moving parts. 

A crumpled piece of paper beneath the drawing caught her eye and she tugged it out to look at it. It was a sketch, abandoned halfway through, or simply unfinished, that looked like it was going to be a portrait. He had finished the eyes first, always did, and they looked familiar, but the rest was still vague enough that she couldn’t figure out who it was going to be. Although, it was probably abandoned so she wouldn’t ever get to see who it was. The paper was slightly wrinkled and there was a small tear on the edge. Damon kept his ongoing projects pristine. 

She heard the door to his room open and footsteps, two sets of footsteps, pounding on the stairs. She guiltily shoved the drawings back into place and looked up to see a worried looking Damon followed by a pale Cassandra headed for her. 

“Emma! What’s goin’ on? You okay?” He sounded concerned, his eyes looking over her as if making sure she was okay. 

“Yeah, I was just looking for you. What happened?” She hugged herself, feeling nervous at the way Cassandra was eyeing her.

“Our s-” He glanced at Cassandra. “My hand was glowing.”

“Oh. I was looking for you.” She wiggled her fingers to indicate magic. 

Damon sighed and his shoulders sagged. “Good, that’s… Maybe save that for emergencies though? Cuz I can’t start glowing randomly.” 

Welcome to the club. But she nodded. “Yeah… sorry. It didn’t work though, I couldn’t find you.”

He ran a hand over his face. “I could find you. Like a magnet.”

Cassandra scowled at her suspiciously. “What is going on? Why were you glowing?”

Damon inhaled slowly and unwrapped his hand, showing her the thin silver line across his palm. “When we was kids we made a promise to always protect the other. We didn’t know she was a mage back then, so we didn’t know we had made like a magically bindin’ promise. Her magic came in and now we got like… I dunno what it is, honestly, but it’s like a link of some sort so now I can apparently find her when she’s looking for me and stuff.”

Cassandra’s b row furrowed and she glanced uneasily between then. Emma could see her mind working, trying to understand what he just said. “So it was… accidental magic? You are bound to each other?”

Emma nodded uncertainly. “As far as we can tell it's just a promise to be there for each other, protect each other.” Probably best not to mention it was a blood pact. “We showed Solas, but he’s never seen anything like it before.” 

Cassandra looked at Damon’s hand again. “You said you could find her?”

He nodded, eyeing Cassandra nervously though he looked like he was trying to hide it. “Yeah. It… I dunno, I could just tell which direction I needed to go.” 

Emma’s stomach twisted in anxiety over how Cass would react. The last thing she wanted was to add more onto her that she’d have to cope with and ultimately drive her away from Damon.

Cass surprised them both by huffing a laugh. “That could be useful. A magical childhood promise explains much about the pair of you.”

Emma saw the tension in Damon’s spine ease as he smiled. “Yeah, guess it does.”

She smiled and gave Damon a hug, “I just wanted to touch base, I'm sorry I scared you.”

His arms tightened around her briefly and she thought she felt the barest of a tremor before he released her. “‘S okay. We won’t know what it does till we test it. Jus’... yeah, save t hat for emergencies.”

She nodded. “Okay. I s hould probably go and try to get some- Oh! I need a centrifuge!”

Damon tossed a two fingered salute. “I’ll get right on it. Speaking of drawings…” He moved to the desk and picked up the skylight design. “Would you mind taking these to Josephine?”

“Sure.” She took the drawings. “I’ll take them to her before Zevran manages to find me for another lesson.”

Cassandra glanced between the two of them thoughtfully before straightening her shoulders. “I will walk with you.”

Emma gaped at her for a second before nodding uncertainly, hoping this wasn’t a ploy to get her away from Damon for easy disposal. “Um. Sure.” 

Damon’s eyes flicked between them and he got a soft expression before putting on a grin directed at her. “Now that we’re sure no one is in trouble, I’m gonna get busy. You got a skeeter bite there, EmTi? Or is someone marking territory?”

Emma flushed bright red and put a hand over her neck. None of her scarves could cover the hickey Solas had put on the side of her throat and she was sure that was the exact reason he had put it there. Not that she really minded but still, “Shut up.” She refused to look at his face as she ducked her head and scurried by him. 

Cassandra made an amused noise and fell into step beside her. “I will see you for breakfast, Damon.” 

“See you, Cass.” Damon called after them, his voice sounded lighter and less strained, happier than it’d been in a while.

Despite the curious and wary glances she kept giving Cassandra, she didn’t say anything until after Emma had given the drawings to Josephine and excused herself to go hide in the underforge until breakfast. Cassandra walked with her until they reached the underforge steps and could see the place was empty. 

“I believe I can now see why you did what you did.”

Emma gave her a wide eyed look, completely thrown by her level tone.

“I still do not think it right, but knowing what I do now, I believe I can see why you thought you must.” Cassandra was not looking directly at her. “Damon… is a hard man to protect.”

“Yeah. Especially from himself.” Emma hugged her waist, feeling hopeful that this meant that Cass would finally forgive her. “I know I went about it the wrong way. I just….” She looked away. “He’s changed… used to drag me away from anything that would be dangerous no matter what I said. I should’ve explained. I was still thinking of him as the headstrong kid I grew up with.”

“Indeed.” Cassandra frowned thoughtfully. “I… have noticed he does not remember to eat. You informed me, but I did not understand the extent of it. It was not as noticable on the trip, but I think that was because Bull and Sera had formed a plan to get him to eat in his distraction.”

Emma winced. “Yeah. Ever since- When… when he’s stressed or sad or… he just forgets. I try to get him food, but it’s hard with him so busy and...” She waved a hand to indicate herself and her surroundings. She always seemed to be in some sort of trouble.

Cassandra nodded. “If- I can ensure he eats in the morning and you can ensure he eats in the evening? At least twice a day is better than none.”

Emma smiled. “Yeah, that could work.”

Cassandra nodded. “It is settled then.” She made to turn away before stopping and looking back at here. “You and Solas have grown close… is he… how does he feel about… your origins?”

Emma  smiled and her hand went to the mark on her neck. “He was shocked at first but he accepts it. I think it was easier for him because of the memory transference though.”

Cass nodded thoughtfully. “I am glad… I-” she looked away. “I am sorry for the way I treated you... after.”

Emma fought the urge to hug her and instead hugged herself. “I understood… I’m… thank you for being there for him when I messed up.”

Cass smiled softly. “He… is not the brute I believed him to be when we first met.”

Emma chuckled. “Well, to be fair, you did throw us in a dungeon, I was hurt, and we had no idea what had just happened. He was a bit… keyed up.”

Cass actually chuckled. “Putting it in that perspective, and knowing what I do now, it makes more sense.” She straightened her shoulders and looked back at Emma. “I must go but I am glad we were able to speak.”

“Me too.” Emma said quietly as she watched Cassandra leave. Her chest felt lighter; Cassandra had forgiven her and it was clear she cared for Damon. He deserved to be happy and she could tell that despite his playful flirting with others he really did care about her as well. 

It didn’t take long at all to prepare the lab area for Felix’s possible transfusion, Fiona hadn’t given her answer yet but she wanted to be prepared to have it done as soon as she did. That done, she decided it was time to check on Alistair, preferably before a certain Antivan Crow dragged her away for more lessons. 

She climbed all the way up to Cullen’s office only to find out that he had gone to the healer’s tower to deal with some trouble. She sighed and thanked the guard, and headed back down all those stairs to go to the clinic. If she missed him she was going to scream. She was slightly out of breath when she reached the clinic but she put on a bright smile for the guard standing outside the door to the tower. 

“Hello! Is the Commander still here?”

The guard saluted. “Yes, my lady.”

“Thanks!” She reached for the door handle and the guard winced. 

“There is a bit of a disturbance, my lady. You might wish to wait until he comes out.”

“I’ll be okay.” Emma shrugged and opened the door to slip inside. 

She could hear a commotion down the hallway and figured that was the way she needed to go. It sounded like shouting at the end of the hallway that became clearer as she walked towards it. She’d probably need to wait in the hall until Cullen was done. 

“The Herald herself requested-” That sounded like Cullen.

“Fuck the Herald!” That sounded like Alistair and was followed by something flying out of an open doorway and crashing against the wall of the hallway close enough by her that a shard of glass landed on her boot.

Oh boy. She took a deep breath and peeked around the corner, rapping lightly on the doorframe. “Sorry, I'm already taken.” She joked weakly.

Cullen turned to look at her, his surprise quickly transforming into concern. “Maker’s breath, Lady Emma, what are you doing here?”

“I came to see how he was doing.” She nodded towards Alistair, who was standing in front of a cot that had been moved into the room, his hands clenched into fists. His skin was pale and his shirt was covered in sweat. “I’m afraid to ask now.”

Alistair glared at her before collapsing onto the bed. “Why won’t you just let me die like I’m supposed to?”

Emma shook her head. “You’re not dying! What you’re hearing isn’t real.” She crossed over to where a pitcher of water was set on a small table, ignoring the noise of protest Cullen made. 

“What would you know of it?” He snorted and looked away. 

“I know you think you’re hearing the Calling. You’re not.” She poured some water into the cleanest looking glass and approached him. She held it out to him with a weak smile. “You’re dehydrated.”

With a feral sounding growl, Alistair’s hand shot out, knocking the glass from her hand to shatter on the floor as he stood so quickly it made her stumble backwards. “I don’t fucking care!”

Cullen was instantly there to shove him back down onto the cot and put himself between her and Alistair. “You will not-”

Emma laid a hand on his arm, making him pause. “It’s alright. He’s under a lot of stress right now.” 

Cullen gave her a look she couldn’t read, but jerked his chin in a nod. Alistair, however, let out a bitter laugh and dropped his head into his hands. “‘Stress’ she says. You should just let me die, it's what I want!” 

She shook her head. “You want to die because of someone else's sins?” She sighed and moved to lean against the table. “You weren't responsible for Cousland’s choices.”

Alistair visibly flinched and when he spoke his voice was shaky. “I want you to leave.” 

It hurt to see him like this. She couldn't leave him like this. She shook her head. “Not until you eat and drink something. You might not see any hope for yourself, might want to give up, but I know who you can be and I won't give up.”

“You think you can save me?” He laughed bitterly. “Is that what this is about? I failed! I failed Duncan. I failed Leliana. I failed Eamon. I couldn't stand up to a man because I was afraid of leading. I was a coward. You want to save that?”

She mov ed to the table and poured another glass of water and brought it back to him. “Yes.” She caught his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. No matter what anyone chose or did, Duncan would have died.” 

“And you Saw that, ‘Herald’?” Alistair spat.

“I’ve seen you die to protect your lover, I’ve seen you king, I’ve seen you have a son, I’ve seen you drunk in a Kirkwall tavern.” She held the glass of water out to him. “I’ve seen a lot of what was and what could have been. It wasn’t your fault. Now drink the damn water and don't even think of breaking this one, because if I have to, I'll have Cullen hold you down while I pour it down your throat.” His expression edged towards skeptical and she glared at him. “I’ve done it to a bigger person than you. Don’t try me.” 

Cullen tensed beside her and Alistair paled and took the glass from her hands. He stared at her eyes for a long moment before taking a drink and she realized her aura was flaring. She pulled it back in as quickly as she could and gave Cullen an apologetic glance. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” She trailed off and gestured at her eyes.

Cullen hesitated before looking at her face. “It’s all right. I… will get used to it.” 

Emma nodded and stepped back, looking at Alistair, who was watching her warily. “If you truly feel like you failed… this is your chance to do better. Don't wallow in self pity… because then you really would fail Duncan.” Alistair looked as if she had just slapped him and Emma sighed. “If you give me your word that you’ll eat and drink without fighting I'll leave you alone.”

He still looked stunned so she gave him a half smile. “I have a little brother. I can be really annoying if I want to be.”

“And this isn’t?” He looked shocked at his own words but continued. “Fine. You have my word.” 

Emma let out a relieved breath. “Thank you.” She gave him a small smile. “Believe it or not I only want to help you.”

He snorted but took another drink. She took that as goodbye and slipped out of his room. Once she was down the hall a ways, she leaned against the wall, allowing her head to fall back to thud against the wall. That could've gone better. 

“Are you alright, Lady Emma?” 

Cullen’s voice startled her and she lifted her head from the wall to see him standing a few paces away. ”Yeah… and it's just Emma.” She blew out a frustrated breath. “It's just hard seeing him like that… he could've been so much more… could've changed the world for the better.”

Cullen looked away, hesitating, before he slowly asked. “Can… you truly See what could have been?”

She hugged her waist. “To a point.” She studied his face for a minute. “You… you can be great too. Your could have beens start here, with the Inquisition.” 

Cullen shut his eyes tightly and nodded. “That-” He cut himself off before he opened his eyes and she thought she saw a new look of determination in their depths. “Thank you.” 

With that he turned and left. Emma watched him go, hoping she had said the right thing. 


	43. Chapter 43

 

It was early, nobody was up yet, it seemed. Solas had woken her when he had tried to sneak out, apparently he had wanted to pai nt. With his new duties as ‘advisor’ he was having difficulty finding the time.  So there Emma was, curled on the couch in the rotunda, with a book on magical theory that Solas had given her to study. She had to resist the urge to giggle when she came to parts that had been scratched out and footnotes of ‘corrections’ added in. 

Solas’ aura brushed against hers in curiosity and she looked over to where he was perched on the scaffolding, sketching out the top part of his design for one of the murals on the wall with charcoal. “What do you find so amusing?”

“Nothing really, just think it's funny that I was right.” When he quirked a brow at her, she waved the book in the air. “You went through them all, didn't you?”

Solas chuckled and tucked his charcoal into a small pouch that he kept several other pieces in. “Perhaps.” He climbed down the ladder and set the pouch in one of the drawers in his desk before walked over to sit with her on the couch. “Are you understanding it?”

Emma bit her lip. “I think so, there's this-” 

Solas cut her off by covering her mouth with his. She was breathless by the time he pulled away and pressed his forehead against hers. He laughed softly and ran a thumb over her lower lip. “It is an irresistible habit of yours.”

She smiled and shook her head. “Well, at least I know how to get your attention now.” She moved to where she could lay down, her head in his lap and her feet over the arm of the couch, as she pointed out the part in the book she was having difficulty with. “It says here that mages have one school of magic that they excel at… but that doesn't sound right. I mean, I've seen you use destruction and creation magic with ease.”

Solas hummed in acknowledgment as he ran his hand through her hair. She had been lazy and left it down. Now though, she was happy she had. “The text is referring to mages of this era. It is rare for them to master more than one school.” 

“Ah.”  She hummed and kicked one of her feet hanging over the couch edge. “I wonder which one I’ll end up with. I haven’t figured out what school the lion was, but that felt awesome. The fire was destruction, but the tree was creation. And I don’t even know what the thing with Damon or channeling auras is.”

Solas’ hands stilled in her hair and she looked up at him.

“You know which it is?”

He frowned slightly. “I... believe it was a form of spirit magic. You might not be constrained as modern mages are. But… Emma, there is something you need to-”

He stopped and looked at the door to the main hall with a grimace a second before it opened. Emma looked over and put the book over her face when she saw it was Zevran.

“Ah, you are awake already!”

“Nope. I’m asleep and you can’t see me.” Her muscles were still sore from the last lesson, and she would bet that Solas would probably follow her out to the training yard, aura blasting jealousy the whole way.

Zevran chuckled, “Ah, la mia Stella. I am wounded, I was under the impression you enjoyed our sessions.”

“I haven't even eaten breakfast yet!” She whined, keeping her face covered by the book. Solas didn’t seem inclined to move her head from his lap so she didn’t even try to move. 

“Come, Stella, it will do wonders for your appetite.” She felt Solas’ aura brush hers; it felt like acceptance.

“My appetite is just fine!” She huffed before closing the book and sitting up.”Fiiine. But only because I know you won’t stop until I do.” 

“Ah, you know me so well for such a short acquaintance.” He chuckled.

Solas stood before her and offered her a hand up. She raised an eyebrow at him suspiciously but accepted his hand and he pulled her up... and right into his arms. 

He pressed a kiss to her lips, not heated but definitely lingering. “I will collect you for the morning meal, Emma’lath.”

Emma nodded, trying not to blush and failing miserably. Solas let her go, his aura flaring in satisfaction and a smile that was bordering on becoming a smirk playing on his lips.

Zevran was definitely smirking as he waved his arm in front of him in a sort of bow to usher her through the door. “Possessive, is he not?” 

“Oh, shut up!” Emma grumbled as more heat rushed to her face. She followed him through the empty main hall, out into the courtyard, and to the training yard. She saw a few guards but they seemed to be the only ones on the training yard this early. 

Zevran picked out and handed her the blunt practice daggers. “Show me what you remember, la mia stella.”

She huffed and took the daggers, spinning them habitually before holding them correctly. ‘Like a dancer’, he had said last time. She knew how to dance, Damon had made sure of that. She moved up onto the balls of her feet, hovering her heels above the ground so she could pivot and twist smoothly while controlling her center of balance. She ran through the moves he had drilled her in, moving her body through them like she was following a song. It _ felt _ like she was following a song, her aura humming and racing through her as she moved. She finished the last move with a fluid pivot she had practiced a hundred times in a different class and took a slight bow. 

“How’s that?” 

He clapped lightly, his face showing honest surprise. “That was beautiful. You were dancing! And, you learn at a stunning pace.” He looked her over thoughtfully. “I believe it may be time to see how you fare against an opponent. I must say, I was not expecting to reach this point so quickly. Not for another month at least.”

Emma huffed, feeling pleased at the praise and a little embarrassed that she was being accidentally weird. “Thanks, I think.” She paused and looked at him with wide eyes. “Wait, no! Sparring already? Oh no.”

“Oh yes. Wait right here. I will be back in a moment.” He grinned at her and sauntered off.

She watched him leave, biting her lip nervously. Who or what was he getting this early? She felt anxious and flipped the daggers in the air, catching them and flinging them into the fence, then walking over to pull them out and do it again. It was taking a while for him to show back up so she started trying to work in a few of the moves Zevran had shown her, running through a drill and finishing it with a dagger throw.

She was actually feeling pretty good with herself, humming under her breath to the song her aura made as she spun through a slashing move and finished with a double dagger throw. She heard clapping again and looked away from the quivering daggers in the fence to see a delighted Zevran with an uncomfortable Blackwall beside him.

“Bravo! Leli said you would be fascinating to teach, but I did not truly expect it to be so entertaining.” He jumped the fence, leaving Blackwall to climb over it awkwardly in his full armor.

Emma flushed and pulled the daggers from the fence. “It’s just like dancing, you said.”

“Indeed. And I have brought you a dance partner.” Zevran gestured to Blackwall with a grin. 

Blackwall shifted on his feet before giving her an awkward bow. “Good morning, Lady Emma.”

“Hi!” She waved and gave him a smile. “I’m sorry he’s dragging you into this. I have exactly two days practice with these things so I’m probably just going to end up embarrassing myself.” She indicated the daggers.

Blackwall’s eyebrows rose and he looked her over in surprise. “Surely not just two days! Some of those moves would take weeks to learn.”

“Yes. I know! She is incredible.” Zevran rubbed his hands together. “So, I wish to see how she fares against an opponent. Just, uh, be gentle, yes? I do not wish a certain pair of people to be upset at you. I can outrun them, but you might not.” 

He smiled teasingly and Emma felt her ears heat up. Blackwall sighed and moved to the box that Zevran indicated and pulled out a blunt practice sword and a shield.

“Very well. Lady Emma?” He readied his shield and sword, face settling into that determined expression she’d seen him wear when he was trying to teach recruits how not to die.

They started off slow, Blackwall pulling his moves and allowing Zevran time to step in and correct her stance, point out weaknesses in Blackwall’s armor, and give advice on how to get around his shield. It didn’t take long before her aura was humming through her and she was stepping up the pace, Blackwall keeping time with her with the ease of a veteran warrior. She  _ liked _ sparring! Her blood was racing in time with her aura, her moves sliding fluidly into each other as she slipped away and around Blackwall’s sword, trying to land a hit past his shield. He was still obviously slowing himself way down for her, but she couldn’t get past it. 

He blocked an overhead strike from her with his sword, and she felt her magic sing in warning that his shield was going to come up, was going to hit her chest and drive her back. Instinctively she sent her aura out through her dagger, making it flare with harmless silver flames right in his face. His shield altered course and moved up to shield his head as he cursed and stepped back, leaving him open for her to spin under his reach and slide the blunt edge of her dagger across the side joint of his armor. 

She stepped back as her aura settled and with the thrumming out of her veins she realized that she probably shouldn’t have done that. “Oh, shoot! I’m sorry! I shouldn’t have done the magic, it just… happened! Are you okay?”

Blackwall laughed and shook his head. “I am well. It was simply unexpected. I would like to practice more with you to try and find a way to defend against it.” He hesitated. “If that is alright with you, Lady Emma.”

Zevran came up beside her and took the practice daggers, tsking when he looked them over. “You fought beautifully, but I fear you ruined these. I will have to procure a pair that can withstand your magic.” He grinned at her and shook his head when she started to apologize.

“No, no! You need to practice with every skill you apparently possess. La mia stella, I must say, once you stopped bothering to blush you glowed. You will be terrifying once you have gained enough skill to not have to think of your moves.”

“Indeed, she will.” Solas’ voice drew her attention to the fence where he leaned against it with a proud looking smile. “It seems you are in your element, Emma’lath.”

Damon was  leaning on the fence next to him with a full out grin. “Gettin’ badass there, lilbit! Halfway in you started sparking and got faster.”

“Her magic was singing through her movements.” Solas said quietly, his aura brushing against hers with pride and a badly hidden bit of lust.

“She learns incredibly fast.” Blackwall said in an impressed tone. “If she keeps that up I might not have to pull back at all in just a few sessions.” 

Zevran tossed the ruined practice daggers beside the box and smiled at Damon. “So, when will you be coming to spar with me? It is not the dance I’d prefer, but still it could be fun, yes?”

Damon huffed. “I might just take you up on that. I get too used to hittin’ bruisers an’ I might get stabbed twenty times by a slip o’ somethin’ like you before I manage to see ‘em comin’. Hit me up some morning and you’re on. But hey, before I forget, I hadda thought.”

Emma looked at him with interest. “Yeah?”

“I saw you walking over for your knives every throw when I went by earlier, and why don’ you jus’ go Jedi on ‘em? I seen Dorian move shit.”

Zevran squinted at him slightly. “I am not sure what you just said, but I wish to see what it means. The fire was inspired.”

Emma frowned and looked at the ruined practice daggers. She held out a hand and imagined her aura reaching out and grabbing them, pulling them to her. They flew towards her with a strong hum and the handles hit her palms hard enough to sting. “Ouch. Too much.”

Solas laughed. “You can learn to moderate the force-” He cut a curious glance at Damon when he snickered. “You use later. For now it is time to eat.” 

Zevran laughed and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively at Solas, “Ah, my friend, I'm sure we can all guess what morsel you wish to devour.”

Damon actually covered his face at that, giggling but shaking his head. “Dude, not in front of me! She’s my sister!”

Solas’ ears tinted pink as he raised an eyebrow at the Antivan, but otherwise didn’t respond. 

Despite her now beet red face, she grinned, feeling pleased with herself and at their praise, and returned the daggers to Zevran. “Thank you, and thank you too, Blackwall!” 

“My pleasure, my lady.” Blackwall actually, genuinely, smiled at her. Maybe this sparring match was just what he needed to stop acting like he was walking on eggshells around her.

Solas and Damon both escorted her to the dining hall where they met up with Cass. One thing Zev was right about was her appetite. She was starving and polished off two biscuits, two bowls of porridge, and an apple Solas had somehow procured for her.

Cass  and Damon sat together, shoulders touching, while Solas held one of her hands under the table. She wanted to laugh as the idea of them at a Thedas double date popped into her head. Solas’ aura brushed hers curiously and she just shook her head.

Damon had just finished his plate when a runner, Corby, she thought his name was, came to the table with a stack of papers. “Inquisitor.” Damon gave him a tight smile and accepted the papers before dismissing him.

He cast her a playful look. “You did this to me.”

Emma raised her hands innocently. “What? I don’t like paperwork.”

Damon chuckled and excused himself to deal with whatever they were throwing at him today. Cass left not long after, saying she had some things to discuss with Cullen. 

Solas finished his meal and helped her clear away the dishes, they had the staff to do it now, but Emma still didn’t feel right about leaving the table cluttered and it was a good opportunity to get to know the people Josie had hired. They had all seemed shocked the first day that the ‘Herald’ would carry her own dishes but now they treated her with happy smiles and ‘good mornings’.

She followed Solas back to the rotunda, where it looked like he was mixing paint with plaster. “What are your plans, Emma’lath?”  He asked as he picked up some pigment power, measuring it out before dumping it into the plaster.

Emma shook her head and dropped onto the little couch. “Nothing, unfortunately. I can’t do anything until Fiona gives me her answer.”

Solas mixed the plaster and hummed thoughtfully before waving his hand to cast the silencing spell over them. She listened to its gentle song, wondering how hard it would be to replicate it. “What do you know of her? Are there any things or people in her past that she cares for that would benefit from her agreeing?” 

Emma straightened in her seat and slapped a hand to her forehead. Alistair! If Fiona knew Alistair was hearing ‘the Calling’... she jumped up and hugged Solas’ neck and kissed his cheek. He almost dropped the plaster he was mixing in surprise. “Have I ever told you that I love you and your sneaky ways?”

Solas stilled suddenly and she realized what she’d said. She pulled back to look at him in concern. “Is that… I…” She didn’t know what to do. She wasn’t going to take it back, it was true, but he seemed to be freaking out and that hurt. 

Suddenly, his aura flared and wrapped tightly around hers as his arms came around her, bowl of plaster dropping to the floor forgotten. His lips captured hers with a fierceness she hadn’t expected, his fingers twisting into her shirt and pulling her close. When he pulled back she could see his eyes shimmering faintly and felt the impression of him trying to restrain himself through his aura. “Ar lath ma, Emma’lath.” He kissed her again and whispered against her lips. “Ma’vhenan.”

She let her relie f flood her aura as she melted into his embrace and gave a breathless laugh. “I should've said that before now, I’m sorry.”

Solas chuckled and pressed his lips to her forehead. “Your aura sings with your love, but to hear those words…” He paused and pulled back just enough to look at her, a sudden seriousness passing over his features. “Emma’lath you must know, when-” he stopped short. His eyes darted to the door and she felt his silencing spell fall.

At that moment, Dorian walked in and made a sound of mock disgust when he saw them. “Do find a room, before I have the urge to pluck out my eyes at such a blatant display of affection.”

Emma stuck her tongue out at him as he made for the stairs and turned back to look up at Solas who was looking towards the stairs thoughtfully. “What were you going to say?”

He glanced back down at her and looked as if he had just made up his mind about something. He smiled softly at her. “I wanted to tell you something, not now, but soon.” He kissed her again, softly. “I promise.” He pulled back and released his hold on her. “I should finish this plaster before it sets and then I need to pack for Crestwood.”

“Alright,” she kissed his cheek again. “I need to go see Fiona. See you later?”

He nodded. “Ma nuvenin.”

She couldn’t help the smile on her face as she headed for the tower the mages were in. She had to ask one of the apprentices, but she found Fiona sitting at a desk in the private study she had been given.

“My Lady Herald.” She greeted as she stood from her seat. “If this is about Felix, I have yet to make my decision on the matter.”

Emma gave her what she hoped was a convincing smile. “Actually, I came to get your opinion on something. I was hoping your background as a former Gray Warden would be helpful.”

Fiona frowned in confusion, “I am unsure what you mean.”

Emma smiled. “If you would walk with me to the clinic, I'll try and explain?”

Fiona gave her a measured once over before nodding. “Very well.” 

Fortunately, the clinic wasn't far from the mages’ tower. Emma had an inkling Damon did it by design, to keep those capable of magical healing as close as possible to those possibly injured or sick. “About three days ago, a Warden was brought here. He hasn't been with the wardens for a long time and is suffering from alcohol abuse.” Emma said as she opened the door to the clinic and held it open for Fiona. “I have hope that he’ll recover from that but there's one other thing.”

Emma waved to one of the healers to get their attention. A young man in robes came up to them. “My lady?”

“How is Warden Alistair today?” She asked, hoping she didn't sound nervous. 

The young man smiled. “Better today. He has eaten and drank everything we’ve given him without much argument. The Commander suggested we give him a task, to keep his hands busy.” He said as he gestured to one of the side rooms

Emma thanked him and moved in that direction,  Fiona follo wing closely. “He’s hearing ‘the Calling’.”

Emma quietly opened the door and looked inside to see Alistair sullenly folding what looked like piles and piles of bandages. He was sitting at a table with his back mostly to the door and didn’t seem to have heard them open it. She stepped aside to let Fiona see him just in time for him to set down the bandages and put his hands to his head as if he was in pain. He grimaced and shook his head before picking up the next pile of loose bandages and begin winding them. 

Emma glanced at Fiona, who had her hand over her mouth and seemed to be struggling to keep her emotions hidden. Fiona stepped back and reached for the door, shutting it gently before turning to her with a carefully composed face. Emma tried to keep a straight face and not let her nervousness show. 

Fiona closed her eyes briefly. “He is hearing the Calling.”

“He said as much.” Damon would be proud of her for that lying truth. 

“You know.” The way Fiona’s eyes darted to the closed door was enough to let Emma know that she was talking about her connection to Alistair.

Emma nodded and took a page from Solas’ book and folded her hands behind her back. Seemed better than twisting them nervously. 

The mage let out a brief, humorless laugh. “I must say, I did not expect you to…” She sighed. “Very well, Lady Herald. I will help you with your cure. I… I hope it proves successful.” Her eyes lingered on the door separating her from her son. “He looks…” she sighed and shook her head. “Like Maric.”

“Thank you.” Emma bit her lip before trying to smile encouragingly. “You know… it's not too late.” 

Fiona looked at the door, “I don't know if it is possible… he was told-”

Emma touched her arm. “I know what he was told… but I also know that all he ever wanted in his life was a family. Duncan was the closest thing he had to a father, the Wardens his brothers and sisters. He lost them all at Ostagar.” Emma breathed deeply to try and calm herself. “Listen, you don't have to tell him. Just… just be there.. help him through this and maybe…  just maybe.” She shrugged. 

Fiona shut her eyes tightly, “I will think on it.” 

“That's all I can ask.” Emma smiled softly and nodded to the door. “Would to like to meet your son?”

Fiona shook her head and wrung her hands in the folds of her robes. “Not… not today… but maybe… tomorrow?”

Emma nodded and they both walked back outside the clinic. Fiona gave her a quiet goodbye and Emma watched her go, hoping she’d get up the courage to see Alistair soon. 

She sighed and headed back for the rotunda. It was nearly lunch time, but now that they had the water pipes figured out, she wanted a bath. Solas wasn't in the rotunda but there was a new coat of colored plaster on the wall. She smiled at the beginnings of the fresco, admiring the design before heading down the stairs for her bedroom. It really was way more impressive up close, even in its unfinished state, than in the games. 

She made her way down to her room and opened the door, pausing in surprise when she saw Solas looking under her bed. 

“Uh, lose something?” She laughed and went the rest of the way in, closing the door behind her.

“Yes. I’m sure I had a book on my desk about the intricacies of the Fade, but it is not where I thought I had left it.” He looked up at her. “Did you move it?”

She shook her head with a grin. “No. I’m going to take a bath, but I’ll help you look afterwards.” She stepped towards the bathroom before stopping and giving him a teasing look. “Want to help me figure out the pipes?”

  
  
  
  
  


Damon had had a busy day and was determined to catch a minute for himself. Josie had sent like three runners with letters he’d had to respond to, he’d caught the tail end of Em’s training, and Cullen had tracked him down to discuss important details of the planned trip to Crestwood all before they’d even stopped serving breakfast in the hall. 

He managed to slip away to the underforge that afternoon. He needed a break, and he thought learning to make cool stuff would be perfect for it. Dagna was a bit distractible, but chattered at length about the properties of different substances and what they were best used for. It was a fun and informative backdrop to Harritt’s quiet but steady instructions about the hands on aspect. He probably wouldn’t remember most of it unless he wrote it down though.

He didn’t know if it counted as ‘cool stuff’, but eventually he was hammering out a shit ton of nails. Was supposed to help him learn technique as well as being a practical thing to make a million of. Heaven knew the Inquisition went through a ton of nails while they were repairing Skyhold, building camps, and helping rebuild villages and farms. After the first dozen or so, Harritt stopped stepping in to correct him and let him just turn them out on his own. He was really getting into the swing of it, enjoying the steady rhythm and physical exertion as well as the act of creating. His head felt great and his shoulder was aching pleasantly when Dagna caught his attention. He set aside his tools and walked over to her with a curious look. 

She grinned up at him, bouncing slightly on her heels. “You’re a fast learner! But Emma came in and told me to make you stop for supper. So, stop for supper?”

“Oh. Yeah, okay.” He started pulling off the leather protective gear Harritt had miraculously had in his size and hung it up before going to the basins to wash up. He actually felt hungry. “Hey, you got a book or something with all that metal stuff you was talkin’ about? I don’t learn real well if I can’t see it.” 

“Oh! Sure!” She went to her own research area littered with tools unfamiliar to him and rummaged underneath a table for a wooden chest. She searched through it for a minute before coming up with a tattered looking book. She brought it to him and held it out carefully. “This was one of my first books and one of the few things I brought to the surface. Be careful with her.”

He accepted it gently. It looked well read and well loved. He glanced at her with concern, this looked like a lifelong treasure. “Are you sure? It’ll take me longer but I can learn without it.”

She waved him off with a smile. “I’m sure. You might be big but you’re careful. I know you won’t hurt her- it. And you have a lot of interesting stuff in that head of yours. I’m impatient for you to know enough to really let me have some fun.” She frowned as she considered her words but shrugged. “So yeah, study away!”

“Thank you. I will be careful with her.” He went to the armor bench and pulled out a scrap of cloth to wrap the book in to keep it safe in his bag while he ate. This was a ‘desk only’ book, not an ‘over supper’ book. He tucked it away and slung his bag over his shoulder. “See you tomorrow if I can run away fast enough.” 

She laughed and waved him off and he headed up the stairs to the main hall. Emma was leaning against the wall by the door, holding Gaelathe, and she grinned at him and then wrinkled her nose. “You smell like fire.”

He grinned, feeling tired and light. “Yeah. I made soooo many nails.”

She smiled softly. “I’m glad you found something interesting.”

He shrugged his shoulders and headed off to the kitchens. He hadn’t caught the name of Orana’s friend and felt a bit guilty about that, but she had offered to let him eat in the kitchens whenever he wanted if he shared some of his mother’s recipes. Apparently word had spread from the scouts that had travelled with him before. “Between Bull wanting to fight all the time, Cass and now Zevran wanting to spar, Harritt, and all these fucking stairs, my six pack’s gonna have a six pack.”

She laughed and followed him curiously. “You’ll be a literal tank. Where are you going? The tables are that way?”

He winked at her. “I’ve got connections.”

She huffed and let him lead the way to the kitchen. He waved at a few of the staff and made a beeline for Orana’s friend. “Hey! I just realized I was horribly rude last time we talked and didn’t get your name.”

The elven woman frowned up at him. “Oh. My name’s Ilaan. You hungry?”

He nodded. “Yes, I am. If you don’t mind, I have this for you.” He rummaged in his bag and held out the recipe for oatcakes that he had written down for just this purpose with a flourish. “This will turn your oat rations into something asked for rather than just boring porridge.” 

Ilaan raised her eyebrows skeptically but plucked the paper from his fingers. “Hmm. We’ll see.” She scanned the recipe and pursed her lips. “Worth a try at least. Go, sit out of the way. I’ll bring you something.”

Damon bowed and Ilaan cracked a smile as she moved off. Damon eyed her thoughtfully before he found an out of the way corner and sat on the floor. Emma hesitated but sat next to him and handed Gaelathe over for him to snuggle. 

“Solas ain’t gonna miss you, is he?” He elbowed her. He liked that he might get a few minutes with her without her shadow, but he didn’t want to keep them apart.

She chuckled. “He’ll be fine for one meal. I’m curious about what sort of shenanigans you managed to get up to in here.”

“No shenanigans. Just a simple exchange of information for kitchen benefits.” He pulled an innocent face

She shook her head fondly. “I don’t know how you find the time to get yourself on the ‘in’ like this.”

“I’m just that pretty.” He grinned up at Ilaan when she walked over to them with two plates piled with food. “Ain’t that right?”

Ilaan rolled her eyes but smiled as she handed the plates to them. “Pretty as the backside of a horse. Now the wee one, he is pretty.” 

“You. Are the best.” Damon laughed and balanced his plate on his knees before shoving half of a roll into his mouth. “Thank you.”

Emma thanked her as well and gave him a pleased smile as he tore into a piece of roast. Ilaan was already moving off to get back to work and he glanced at Emma with a ‘what?’ expression. She looked down at her plate and dipped her roll into the juices from the meat. 

“You seem happy. I’m glad.”

He elbowed her gently and shoved another bite of meat into his mouth to make her grimace at him when he spoke around it. “I know you been worried, but I’ll be okay. Jus’ got a bit haywire there for a while.”

Her eyes darted to his wrist but she nodded. “You-” She paused and seemed to rethink her question. “You know when we are going to leave for Crestwood?”

He groaned. “C’mon, let me have five minutes without bein’ in charge.” He stole her roll out of her hands and shoved it into his mouth, ignoring her indignant noise and holding up three fingers, then four, and then shrugging. Three or four days.

“Am… am I…” She stared down at her plate but he knew what she was trying to ask.

“Yeah. I’m not leaving you behind again if I can help it.” He said quietly. He’d had his space and it hadn’t helped, and he had been too far away to help her when she’d needed it. He wasn’t letting her go again. 

She gave him a relieved smile and finally took a bite of her food. They ate there in the corner of the kitchen, their playful conversation and cooing over Gaelathe mostly covered by the noise and bustle of the kitchens. Emma only ate half of her plate, so Damon finished it off for her as well as finishing his. The smile she gave him was so pleased that her eyes sparked and it made the slightly uncomfortable feeling of having eaten too much worth it. 

A harried looking runner found them when they gave their plates back to the staff to wash and Damon inhaled and handed Gaelathe back to Emma before he accepted the note. Emma gave him a sympathetic smile and hugged him good night before she headed off.  Damon read the note and smiled as he realized that it was Josie reporting that Vivienne was handling the few visiting and difficult nobles with skill and that most left with a favorable impression of the Inquisition. He could read between the lines well enough to know that she was complimenting him on finding her something useful to do within her skill set. 

He turned the thought over in his head for a moment before asking the patiently waiting runner for paper and a pen. He considered his words carefully before writing to ask

Vivienne if they could schedule a time for a chat. If Em was right about her connections, he needed to make sure she didn’t feel irrelevant again and he had an idea of how to go about it. 

The runner accepted the note with a salute and dashed off and Damon headed back to his room for a bath. He did smell like fire. They’d figured out how to get the water running to his room finally and he took a luxurious, if a bit cold, bath, spending a ridiculously long time completely under water. He missed swimming. He’d just gotten dressed and was awkwardly putting a comb through his hair while he glanced through one of the magical theory books he’d nabbed from Solas’ desk (It was nicely annotated. Nerd.) when he heard a knock at his door. He sighed and twisted his hair into a knot at the back of his neck and hoped it didn’t look completely ridiculous as he went to answer. At this point, knocking either meant Cass or a runner. 

It was a runner. A runner with an elegant reply from Vivienne that was inviting him to an after dinner cup of tea, but in a lot more words. He glanced at the runner uncertainly. “How bad is my hair right now?”

The runner looked startled but glanced at his hair. “It looks good to me, ser?”

“‘Good’ as in you don’t want to upset me, or ‘good’ as in I’m not going to embarrass myself if I walk out like this?” He smiled to let the guy know he wasn’t going to go off on him if he gave the wrong answer. 

“Good as in I can see nothing wrong with it, ser.” 

He huffed. “Thanks. You can let Lady Vivienne know I’ll be right- wait, no. Please inform Lady Vivienne that I am happy to accept her invitation.” 

The runner‘s mouth quirked in a suppressed smile and he saluted. “As you say.”

Damon let him head off and made a mental note to ask Josie for a mirror. He felt completely unprepared for meeting with Vivienne. He went back in his room long enough to belt his knife on and then straightened his shoulders and set off for the room Vivienne had requested for meetings such as this one. 

He took a settling breath before knocking politely on the open door. She was elegantly reclined on a couch in front of a low tea table, but rose when she saw him. 

“Ah! I’m so glad you could make it, Dear. I was so pleased to receive your note. I know you are dreadfully busy and I hope that a little chat might give you a moment to relax.”

His fumbling attempts at the Game were not relaxing, but he gave her a polite smile. “Your thoughtfulness is most appreciated, Lady Vivienne.”

She gave him a subtle but apprising look and gestured to the sofa set up across from hers. “Please, sit. I had a fresh pot of tea from my personal stores brewed especially for us.”

He sat, trying to remember to keep his body in the loose but elegant lines as laid out by Josie back in Haven. It was awkward with how big he was, but he managed well enough judging by Vivienne’s small smile. 

“Tea sounds wonderful.” He managed a few minutes of circling small talk before he finally managed to subtly bring the subject around to what he was there for. She asked about how he preferred to pass his leisure time and he pounced on it, but gently.

“I’ve been reading in my spare moments. I acquired a book on magical theory and I recently came across a chapter of great interest.”

Her eyebrows rose. “Oh? You enjoy reading of magical theory?”

“One cannot hope to better understand things if they do not attempt to learn of them.” He inclined his head slightly and was rewarded with a slightly pleased expression from her. 

She sat back on her sofa and gestured elegantly. “I find myself curious as to the subject of this chapter.” 

“Knight Enchanters. The book was terribly vague on the subject, but it told enough to pique my interest.” It was really hard to say ‘vague’ without letting his accent slip through. He made a mental note to avoid the word in formal situations if he could.

“Ah!” She definitely looked pleased now. “As it should, Dear. It is a demanding and difficult school of magic, but one that I am well versed in. I should be able to answer any questions that you may have.”

Gotcha. What followed was a surprisingly pleasant and interesting conversation about Knight Enchanters, if a bit difficult as he had to think over his words and edit them heavily. But he was actually fascinated by the subject, the back of his mind turning over the faintest outline of an idea as they talked. 

Finally she eyed him and smiled. “I may have a book on the subject laying around if you wished to read it. Our talk was pleasant with your understanding pulled from a single chapter, I believe we could have a truly scintillating chat if you read a book devoted to the subject.”

“I would be very grateful if I could impose on you and borrow it.” 

“Of course, Darling. I’ll have it sent to you in the morning.”

“Thank you.” He glanced out the window and made a disappointed face. “I fear the time got away from me.”

Vivienne smiled. “Good company tends to do that.”

“Indeed.” He moved as if to stand but paused as if a thought had just struck him. “If I may ask, I was wondering if you wanted to join us on our impending journey to Crestwood? I know you have the delicate task of presenting the best face of the Inquisition to visiting dignitaries, but if you wished for a change of pace you are welcome to join us.”

“While I appreciate the offer, I find that my dealings with the dignitaries require my full attention and I could not leave them. I must admit, my dear, I had worried that talents might be wasted due to certain recent happenings.”

Damon smiled, hoping this was subtle enough but still completely understandable. “The Herald is very loyal to those she holds close and I fear subtlety is completely lost on her. However,” He stood and inclined his head politely to her. “She is very curious and eager to learn of new things presented to her as just that: new things to learn.”

She glanced at him shrewdly and he hoped he had gotten the message across that Emma would happily let her teach her about magic if she just left Solas alone. He bowed. “I fear I must take my leave, but thank you for a pleasant evening.” 

He left the room and kept his posture straight until he made it around a corner and he could exhale and slump against the wall. Gods, that was exhausting. He was even more tired after that than the hours at the forge. He rubbed his eyes and headed straight for Cass’ room. It was late enough that she’d be there, and he was too tired to even bother trying to sleep on his own right now. 

He felt completely drained by the time he reached her room. He knocked softly and rubbed his eyes. Cass opened the door and frowned at him. 

“You are very early. ” Concerned laced her voice.

“‘M jus’ so fuckin’ tired.” He said softly. “I jus’... need…”

She reached out and touched his wrist and he reflexively stepped forward and rested his head on her shoulder, careful not to catch her in the face with his horns. She hesitated and he wondered if he had overstepped, if he should step back, but her arms came up and she hugged him. He let himself relax against her in relief and she hummed in her throat before stepped backwards, tugging him along with her. He heard the door close behind him but kept his face on her shoulder, needing the contact. 

They stood there for a long minute,  her hands rubbing soothing circles onto his back,  before she touched his arm and pulled away. “You need to sleep.” She said quietly. “Go lay down.”

“As you wish.” He gave her a half smile and moved to the couch, collapsing face first onto it. His whole body ached with exhaustion and he was already half asleep when he felt Cassandra drape a blanket over him. She was so good. He needed to get his act together and do something properly romantic for her. Maybe some poetry. He bet he remembered some Byron...


	44. Chapter 44

The transfusion had gone remarkably smoothly despite the primitive conditions, and mostly due to Solas’ spell. By the time they were ready to mount up to head to Crestwood, Felix had already shown a steady improvement. She hoped it stayed steady while she was gone and had left detailed instructions with Fiona on how to document his symptoms. 

After that, it was a rush to pack up her things, leave some final instructions with Orana about Gaelathe, check on Alistair one more time, and then finally, give Gaelathe one last kiss and get on Caramel. 

Damon had decided that they needed to leave early. Thankfully, this time there was no heavy fog hanging over Skyhold and the sun’s rays could be clearly seen in the sky as it rose over the horizon. 

Solas secured his pack to the back of Elgar'alas'nir’s saddle and moved to help her with her own. Being short had some perks, like not being able to reach the straps on the other side of the saddle so someone else had to help you out.

“You guys about ready?” Damon asked as he lead MoFo out of the stables. He didn't look as thin as he had last time he’d left Skyhold and Emma was glad to see he looked like he was bulking back up and that his smile didn’t look as tired.

“Just about.” She smiled at him and pulled herself into Caramel’s saddle. She really had missed the little peppy mare.

“Ah, just as beautiful on a horse as you are with blades in your hands, Stella.” Emma’s head snapped over at the source of the familiar accent. Zevran was leading a small gray horse in full tack from around the back of the stables. 

Solas emitted something that sounded suspiciously like a low growl from the back of his throat but she was willing to bet she was the only one who heard it.

Damon pulled himself into his saddle and looked Zevran over. “Looks like you’re heading somewhere, Honey.” 

Zevran gave a charming smile as he mounted his horse. “With my pupil, of course. I would hate for her to grow lax in her training after making so much progress, yes?”

Emma groaned, it looked like she wasn’t going to get a break from training like she had hoped. And Damon got a mischievous grin as he glanced between her and Solas so she just knew he was going to be teasing her mercilessly.

“Yeah. Just ride up front so I got something pretty to look at on the trip.” He winced when Cassandra rode up next to him and punched him sharply on the arm. “Hey, you can look too. I’m not hogging the view.”

Cassandra’s ears turned red and she threw her hands in the air. “You are impossible.” 

“I tried to warn you, Cass!” Emma chuckled. Solas mounted Elgar’alas’nir, drawing the horse closer to her side, and she shot him an apologetic smile. “I didn’t know.”

Solas shook his head at her and smiled. “You have no need to apologize, Emma’lath.” He reached over and grasped her hand, pressing it slightly with his fingers.

“Again with the blatant displays of affection,” Dorian's voice grumbled good naturedly. “How shall we be able to travel with the two of you and your unrestrained passions?”

“Would you like me to rub your back, Vint?” Bull asked with a smirk, “Then you won’t feel so left out?”

Emma buried her face in her free hand. She had forgotten about Dorian and Bull, and between them, Damon, and Zevran this trip was going to be full of thinly veiled innuendos.

“Pretty sure it isn’t his back he wants you to rub.” Damon snickered, making Dorian sputter indignantly.

Or… outright innuendo.

“Can we stop talking ‘bout bangy bits and get moving?” Sera grumbled from where she was draped precariously over her mount’s neck. Blackwall chuckled from his mount beside her and caught the slight elf’s arm before she tumbled from the horse. 

“I can see there will be no shortage of entertainment with this group.” Hawke’s voice called out as she and Varric lead their horses from the stable. She cast Emma a wary glance before covering it up with a grin at Varric. “Awww, Varric, it’ll be just like the old days.” She pulled herself onto the graceful black mare she had been given and guided it to the other side of the group from Emma.

Varric shook his head as he mounted Dopey. “Hawke, best not encourage them.”

“That everyone?” Damon called out, looking around before he leaned over and whispered something in Cass’ ear that had her blushing and looking pleased. He looked over the gathered group again and made the ‘move out’ gesture. 

It was a pretty good sized group, Emma doubted they’d have to worry about bandits this trip with everyone looking armed to the teeth like they were. It took a minute to fall into pace as they filed out of the gates of Skyhold. There was a bit of shuffling as they tried to figure out who was riding where. Solas was firmly by her side and Cass by Damon’s, but beyond that there was a bit of milling until Bull gave her a sharp glance and looked at Damon. 

“Hey, Boss. You never did show us a ‘false chord’.” 

Damon laughed and shook his head. “Go ask Emma for a story, I’m not scaring the noobs five minutes outta the gates.” 

Emma tried to hide a smile at the confused expressions at the word ‘noobs’ but it quickly dissolved as everyone’s eyes swung to her. 

“Come on, Princess.” Varric smiled at her, “Regale us with another one of those stories of yours.”

Emma pressed her lips together and gave Damon a ‘really?’ look. “They’re not my stories, Varric.”

Varric waved his hand. “I’m not asking for publishing rights, Princess.” He chuckled.

“It…” Cass looked back at her and she could see a bit of hopefulness in her eyes, “would help pass the time.”

“I don’t-”

Damon suddenly looked at her with a grin. “Oh wow! Guess what I just remembered, Em!”

She looked at him warily. That was not a safe grin. “What?”

“I’m in charge! I can assign watches!” He glanced between her and Solas impishly. “Would be a shame if you got set on watch with the wrong elf.” 

Emma glared at him. “You wouldn’t!”

He pressed a hand to his cheek in mock thoughtfulness. “Hmm… things I wouldn’t do....” He pretended to count on his fingers. “No. No, I would.” 

Emma sighed as the group chuckled at them in amusement and Zevran gave her a mock wounded expression. “Fiiiiine! Which one?”

Damon looked over at Cass and smiled before looking back at her. “Ever After.”

Emma had to hide another smile at his consideration of Cass’ tastes. She took a breath and closed her eyes. “Her name…  was Danielle de Barbarac.” She told of Danielle’s spirited nature, her scrap with Auguste, the arrival of her doting father, and the introduction of her new step mother and step sisters… she heard an intake of shocked breaths as she told of her father's fall from his horse due to his heart and his death. “It would be ten years before another man entered her life… a man who was still a boy in many… many ways.”

Cass had been right, it did help pass the time and everyone seemed to be enjoying it. She got breaks when they stopped to eat or water the horses, and didn’t start back up again until someone asked. Solas would hand her a water skin every so often so her throat didn’t get dry. She had just finished to the part where Danielle gave her mother’s name to Henry after freeing Maurice, when Damon announced they were stopping to set up camp for the night.

She felt exhausted from the effort of not only remembering the movie she had memorized, but also trying to figure out how to change it to story form while she spoke loud enough for everyone to hear. But she felt a little pleased with herself as well since Hawke had actually moved her horse to ride closer so she could hear. Maybe she wouldn’t hate her forever. 

When they stopped, Emma helped the scouts untack and tether the horses while the tents were being set up. She managed Sera’s allbreed and Dopey well enough, but saw at least two of the scouts trying not to laugh when MoFo raised his head and flicked his ears at her when she tried to grab his bridle. She actually had to jump to grab it and definitely heard a snicker. She huffed and started scolding the gelding gently while she switched his bridle and bit for a halter. She moved to his side to get the pack off of him and gave up when she realized she couldn’t even see the top of the saddle. She threw up her hands and stepped back to let an ‘absolutely not’ snickering scout deal with him.  

Damon sauntered up and ruffled her hair as he passed her and grabbed his pack. “S’allright lil’bit. You tried.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him as he easily grabbed her and Solas’ pack off of their horses as well. He chuckled and bumped into her as he walked past with their packs in one hand, giving her a mischievous grin and clicking his tongue at MoFo, who immediately dropped his head for a nose scratch. 

Son of biscuit. 

She made a face at him and followed him into the main area of the camp. He tossed both her and Solas’ packs into a tent and headed for his own, leaving her to flush bright red when pretty much everyone looked at her with delighted expressions.

“Well, there’s one rumor confirmed.” Varric laughed. 

Damon flipped him off as he went by. “As if the giant fucking hickeys weren’t confirmation enough.” 

“And the blatant displays of affection. In. Public.” Dorian said as if it were the most scandalous thing he’d ever said.

“And the hovering like a dog guarding a bone.” Sera cackled. 

“An apt description. I believe he actually growls at me.” Zevran mused. 

“Oh. my. God.” She wanted to kick him. She knew everyone had guessed, but having him just confirm it like that was going to make the teasing so much worse. Solas, for his part, looked positively smug. 

She hid her face in her hands and ducked into the tent to lay out her bedroll. She wasn't hiding. She was being productive. She could hear Bull ask Damon what he planned on cooking tonight.  She didn't catch his answer but given that one of the scouts had brought down a deer earlier that day it would probably be venison steaks or something like that. She bit her lip and glanced at Solas’ pack wondering if he’d mind if she rolled out his things as well. She decided to just lay out the bedroll and move his pack to the corner closest to his side. 

She exited the tent to see everyone gathered around the fire while Damon cooked, Hawke looking on curiously as he was no doubt adding his mixed seasonings to the meat. How he managed to sweet talk things from the kitchen staff she’d never figure out.

“Came out to face the music, huh, Princess?” Varric chuckled when he saw her. She stuck her tongue out at him and took the seat on a log next to Solas. 

Solas smirked and took one of her hands in his and placed a kiss to it. “Embarrassment does not equal shame, Emma’lath.” She gave him a grateful smile; she hadn't even realized that her nervousness was bleeding into her aura. 

Damon chuckled and put the first few finished steaks onto a plate. ”True that. Bull, if your hand goes anywhere near this plate before I say so, I will bite you and not in the fun way.” 

Cass rolled her eyes but gave Bull a smug look when she reached over and snagged a small piece of steak off of the plate without a word from Damon. 

“Playing favorites, Boss?”

“Yup.” 

Emma giggled at Damon’s grin and Cass’ pleased expression. They were kinda cute with each other. Finally, Damon finished cooking and let everyone grab their dinner, though he made sure the scouts got their fair share as well. Emma grabbed one of the smaller steaks and a biscuit before heading back to sit on the ground between Solas’ legs because Bull and Dorian had taken the last log that sat two, leaving a stump for them. She didn't mind, though. They all knew now, so there was no sense in hiding it. Dinner was mostly quiet because they were all too busy chewing to talk. 

Hawke looked pleasantly surprised when she finished her steak. “That’s good. Where’d you learn?”

“M’ ma.” Damon spoke around a mouth full of food as he cleaned his hands off and pulled out a thin wooden case from his bag. He unlatched it and opened it long enough to pull out a sheet of paper and a piece of charcoal. He smoothed the piece of paper on the front of the case and started making short, quick motions with the charcoal over it. Sketching then. Cass leaned towards him to watch over his shoulder.

After she was done eating, Solas took her plate from her hands, setting it aside and pulling her to sit in his lap. She heard Dorian groan but Solas’ aura just flared with satisfaction. He felt pleased at being allowed to be openly affectionate. 

Hawke surprised her by talking to her directly for the first time since the day they had met. “That story you’re telling, where’d you hear it? Sounds Orlesian, but also nothing like it.” 

Emma shrugged. “It’s a story from where I came from. One of my favorites.”

Her eyes narrowed slightly. “Where’d you come from then? Must be an interesting place.”

“Virginia.” Emma let out a short laugh at Hawke’s frustrated look. “I grew up with his family.” She jerked a thumb at Damon, who didn’t look up from his drawing. 

“What was that like? Growing up with Qunari?” She looked slightly mollified at the answer. 

“They didn't follow the Qun, so just like any other childhood you could imagine.” She shrugged again.

Hawke nodded, then squinted at her. “I noticed your eyes don't…” she waved her hand vaguely. 

Emma nodded, looking over to see Varric shift slightly. “I had a buildup of magic. Too much held in at a time. Damon figured it out and I used most of it up.” 

“Still do when she does magic, jus’ so you’re prepared.” Damon said absently.

Hawke hummed and sat back. “So, no… stowaway?”

Solas’ arms tightened around her a fraction but his voice remained even. “She is not possessed, just a mage of rare talent.” 

Damon snickered. “She’s drivin’. Anythin’ tried to take the wheel they’d hit the eject button after the tenth hour of the song that never ends.” Emma groaned as the ditty was suddenly, annoyingly playing in her head.

Solas’ aura felt curious. “Ignorance is bliss.” She whispered shaking her head. Seriously, she’d had to get him back for that one.

Hawke gave him a blank look. “I… don’t know what any of that means.”

Emma rolled her eyes. “He said that I’d annoy anything trying to possess me so quickly they’d leave before a single day.”

“Pretty sure that's not what he said, Princess.” Varric chuckled. He seemed more relaxed now. “They have their own language, Hawke. It’s a bunch of nonsense words they somehow understand.”

“‘Absolute fencepost’ and ‘completely fenceposted’ mean two different things.” Damon grinned as he used his thumb to smudge at the paper, probably shading. 

Zevran made a dubious noise. “That cannot be.” 

Emma rolled her eyes, “First one means ‘you’re stupid’ and the second ‘you’re drunk’.” 

Hawke laughed, “I usually use ‘shitfaced’ but I might try that one next time.” 

Emma looked over at Varric, hoping for a change of subject. “So, I've been telling a story all day, it's only fair our resident writer and author regale us with one.”

Varric gave her a look but obliged with a story about some trouble Isabella had gotten them into. Everyone listened contentedly and Emma leaned back into Solas’ chest, closing her eyes to listen. Varric had just reached the, slightly exaggerated, ending when she heard Damon make a humming noise in his chest that she recognized. She opened her eyes and looked over to see him studying his paper with a furrow between his eyebrows. 

Cassandra bumped him with her shoulder. “It is beautiful.” 

Damon set aside the thin wooden case and shuffled over to her, looking unsure and nervous. He held out the piece of paper to her. 

“Did… did I remember them right? Been workin’ on it a while but ain’t sure.” He asked softly. 

She sat up and took the paper and gasped as she saw that he had drawn his parents. Aunt Gemma was in the center, her teeth bared in that manic grin that Damon had inherited, her eyes flashing and her fists clenched as she took a step forward. He had even carefully recreated her tattoo winding up her forearm, a twist of fire and vine. Uncle Chase was behind her, one hand resting softly on her shoulder and the other over his face as he smiled, the expression pulled crooked by the lip scars left over from his cleft palate surgeries. He stood a full head taller than her, but it looked like she could pull away from him at a moment and he would let her go. 

It looked just like them, she could actually remember the exact day this memory was from. She could remember the picture. Mom had taken it right when Dad had made a dirty joke and Aunt Gemma had threatened to fight him. The only difference was Uncle Chase’s hair was loose, hanging down over his ears instead of braided back intricately, and Aunt Gemma’s hair was longer than she’d actually kept it, also covering her ears. 

She glanced at Damon and realized he was trying to hide the fact that they were human without altering them too much. She smiled, feeling close to tears at having their image again. “It’s perfect. They’re perfect.”

He relaxed. “Thanks. I can… I can try an’ do yours next? If you want.”

She nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that. 

“Who’s that, Boss?” Bull asked from right over her shoulder. She looked up to find him leaning over her shoulder and studying the drawing. He was really quiet for such a big guy.

“My parents.” Damon didn’t reach for the drawing, didn’t try to hide it, so Emma let Bull look.

Bull frowned and glanced between the drawing and Damon. “They didn’t have horns?”

“Nah. Neither of ‘em. I didn’t get mine till late in life. Shoulda seen Em’s face when they showed up.” He chuckled, somehow telling the exact truth but not. He frowned and glanced at Bull. “Wait, I know that tone. What’s it about? What does them bein’ hornless mean to you?”

Emma huffed as she looked at the sketch again, trying to see it through Bull’s eyes. Aunt Gemma looked Tal Vashoth, but passable as a human. Uncle Chase looked… Uncle Chase looked like a saarabas. That probably threw his theory about Aunt Gemma out the window.

“Means they’re blessed. Meant for something special.” Bull frowned at the paper again. “You don’t look much like her.”

Damon snorted. “Nah. People used to ask me if she adopted me. Only ever asked once, she hated that question. Always said that it don’t matter if I was or not, I was her kid. But I’m the spitting image of my father but all my mother’s son.”

“Hmm. Yeah, I can see that. You’ve got her smile.” Varric had leaned over to look at the drawing.

Emma sighed and tilted it so he could see it easier. Pretty much everyone was trying not to look like they were dying to see. “Should I pass it around so you all can see?”

Damon shrugged and sat next to Cass. “Go ahead. Jus’ don’ smudge it.”

‘ _ Don't smudge it’  _ Emma tilted her head and looked down at the drawing. Maybe… like a magical laminate? She glanced at him and wiggled her fingers in question. He hesitated but shrugged again. She bit her lip and imagined a protective layer, similar to a ward… but permanent. Her aura hummed and a clear sheen rippled across the paper. It looked just like laminate. She carefully pressed a finger to one of the lines near the edge and tried to smudge it. Nothing. It had worked. She grinned happily and handed the drawing to Solas, ignoring Varric’s impatient huff. 

Solas’ eyebrows raised as he looked over the paper. “An unusual but well crafted spell. It appears permanent.” He looked down at her and smiled. “Well done.”

“Yeah, yeah, she’s good at the handwaving. Keep it in your pants till you’re in your tent and pass the picture around before they all get impatient.” Damon grinned impishly, baring all of his teeth just like Aunt Gemma, and Emma felt a bit of grief mixed in with horrified embarrassment at what he said.  

Solas’ ears turned a bit red and he gave Damon a flat look before passing the picture to Dorian, who studied it with interest. “She was quite short for a qunari.”

“Yeah. Made up for her height with pure spite.” Damon’s laugh was soft. “Dad used to call her Spark because she was little and firey.”

Sera refused to touch the picture, saying it was all weird and magicy now, but still looked over it as Dorian passed it over to Hawke. Hawke’s fingers brushed over the paper and Emma wondered if it was over the magic or over Uncle Chase’s scars. They could be reminding her of the Saarebas in Kirkwall. 

“Why did you draw him covering his face?” 

Damon looked at the ground, clenching his jaw before inhaling and putting a smile back on his face. “He used to do that when he was happy.”

“Used to-? Oh.” Hawke frowned sympathetically and handed the picture over to Blackwall.

Blackwall got a soft expression as he looked over the drawing. “How did they meet?”

“Dad said she saved his life.” Damon sighed and leaned against Cassandra. “He was... “ He trailed off and looked down.

Emma picked it up so he wouldn’t have to. “He always said that he was in a bad place and she came up and grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him off, yelling at him the whole way. He was instantly smitten. She always said she saw a ‘dumbass’ letting life kick the crap out of him and decided to keep him.”

Damon gave her a grateful glance. Blackwall handed the drawing over to Varric, who muttered ‘finally’ under his breath and whipped out his notebook to scribble out a few lines as he looked over the sketch.

“Why are y’all always so interested in my parents anyway? They’re both dead, it’s not like you’d get to meet them.” The words were a bit harsh, but Damon’s tone sounded honestly curious.

Dorian waved a hand dismissively. “I don’t know about them, but I for one, am curious about what sort of people raised such unusual individuals as you and Emma.”

Zevran plucked the picture away from Varric and hummed. “I too find myself curious about them. The nightingale has many theories and few facts. It frustrates her and fascinates me.”

Damon huffed. “She was a midwife, he was a farmer, they raised me an’ Em in the ass end o’ nowhere. That was it. They was people, flawed, great, simple people. Now gimme my drawin’ back.”

“They cannot be that simple. I have heard of the stories they told you when you were children. Yes?” Zevran asked as he handed the paper over to Damon.

Emma buried her face in her hands when Damon’s eyes widened and his teeth flashed in a grin. Oh no. 

“You wanna hear a song she used to sing to me as a kid?”

Varric and Sera shook their heads, but everyone else agreed enthusiastically, if a bit warily on the part of those who had heard him sing before. 

He leaned forward and dropped his voice to a growl. “ Hush little baby don't say a word, and never mind that noise you heard. It's just the beasts under your bed, in your closet, in your head.” He inhaled to get to the chorus, but choked when Cass elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

“Stop that. That is not a song a mother sings to a baby.”

Emma shook her head ruefully. “No, that is definitely a song she sang to us as kids. That one and the Hanging Tree were her favorites.”

Hawke looked a bit wide eyed. “How did you sleep at night after that?”

“Hawke, I warned you.” Varric huffed wryly. 

Damon laughed and sat back to brush shoulders with Cassandra. “Mom was a spit fire. I tol’ ya. We was used to it.”

Emma leaned against Solas slightly as his aura brushed hers curiously. She must be feeling a bit nostalgic through her aura. “She literally worshipped a chaos god. Just… don’t expect normal from her.”

Bull grunted in amusement. “That makes a lot of sense.”

Zevran nodded. “Indeed. It explains much.”

“What about your father? Did he worship her chaos god as well?” Hawke asked.

Damon shook his head. “Nah, he worshipped a goddess, the goddess of spring and flowers and the wife of the god of death. The goddess of nature with one foot in the grave and the other in springtime.”

Varric huffed a laugh. “No offense, Blot, but it sounds like he was the one with more sense.”

Emma laid her head on Solas’ shoulder as she listened to the others hum in agreement. She wasn't sure how long they had talked before her eyelids started to droop. Solas shifted, bringing her back to semi-wakefulness. 

“It is late.” His voice was soft in her ear but she knew he was addressing the others as well as her. 

“Indeed, our Stella seems ready to fall any moment.” Zevran grinned at her as she rubbed her eyes. “Best take her to bed and I assure you I mean that in the most pleasant of ways.” He finished with a wink.

Damon chuckled and waved them on. “Yeah yeah, Go on before she falls out on you.”

“Goodnight, everyone.” Solas stood and one of his arms went under her legs. She squeaked a little in surprise as he picked her up, but his aura brushed against hers, urging her to relax.

She did but was acutely aware of the round of chuckles from around the fire, and Cass’ question to Damon. “Do you think they will ever-”

“Yeah, sure as the sun sets.” Damon cut her off, making her ears burn, but his voice held a fondness in it. 

Just as Solas ducked into their tent she thought she heard Hawke murmur, “Oh! That’s where ‘princess’ came from.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  


Damon was setting up the fire to get breakfast made before they packed up to head out. They had made good time so far, despite travelling with such a large group. If they kept the pace up, they should reach the Crestwood outpost by the afternoon, if he was reading the maps right. The sun was barely up, he’d woken up early to slip out of Cass’ tent before the others woke, but there Emma was staggering out of her tent, followed by a significantly more alert Solas. He must have woken her up accidentally, judging by Emma’s grumbling. 

She pressed a sleepy kiss to Solas’ cheek before reaching back into their tent to pull out her bow and quiver. She must want to practice a bit before breakfast. She stomped off to a clear area and picked out an arrow, carefully aiming at an ancient tree a ways away. The arrow thunked solidly into the trunk and she held out her hand, grinning triumphantly when the arrow flew back and into her hand. Though, she did shake her hand out a bit so she must still need to practice that handy trick. 

Damon nursed the fire back into life and walked over to where Solas was watching her so he could watch as well while the flames steadied. Emma shot three more arrows, all of them hitting the same spot in the tree before she called them back with her magic.

He decided now was the perfect time to bring up that idea he’d been playing with. “Hey, Em, you got like, energy magic or somethin’?”

She paused mid-draw and let her bowstring relax. “What kind?”

“Like,” He made finger guns. “Pew pew, energy magic.”

Solas raised an eyebrow at him but Emma frowned. “Maybe? I know arcane missiles are a thing here.”

“No, like.” He grimaced, trying to figure out a way to say it without revealing he knew exactly what he was talking about. “Like, a solid sort of energy, something that can move but still, y’know,” He hit his hands together to imitate a crash.

“Yeah, I think so. Why?”

He mimicked drawing a bow and her eyes widened. “Oh!” She replaced her arrow into the quiver and frowned at her bow, tilting her head as she thought. 

Solas watched her curiously, but seemed content to wait and see what she was doing. Emma picked up her empty bow and pulled the string back, her eyes sparking a faint silver as a white line of light appeared in her fingers. She released the string and the light streaked forward, hitting the tree with a small explosion of sparks that peeled some of the bark off. 

Solas made an incredulous laugh. “That was a blade made of Fade energy! How-?” He didn’t finish the question, just shaking his head in disbelief.

“He said solid, but moveable. I know magical blades are a thing here, so I just…” Emma shrugged, trying to play it cool, but Damon could see she was feeling proud. 

She aimed the bow again and shot another bolt before her eyes started glowing in earnest and she started shooting bolt after bolt, some of them hitting their target, some of them being flashed out of existence with a flick of her hand. Damon grinned when Zevran sauntered up with that box of practice daggers and Solas cut an aggravated look at him. Morning just got interesting. 

The Antivan actually startled and blinked several times when he saw exactly what Emma was doing. He glanced at Damon curiously after he had gotten over his initial shock. “Your idea, I presume?”

Damon shrugged and called out to Emma. “EmTi, Honey’s here for you.”

Her eyes faded back to her normal blue as she lowered the bow. “What is it with you and finding me before I get to eat?”

Zevran grinned. “I enjoy helping you work up an appetite.” 

His voice had a purr in it that made Damon snicker and Solas cut a sharp glance at him. Emma narrowed her eyes before smiling sweetly. Uh oh.

“Alright. Hold my bow?” She held out the enchanted weapon with an innocent expression.

Zevran reached for it and yelped when his fingers got zapped the second he touched it.

“Oops.” Emma’s ears were red but she smiled smugly as she leaned the bow against a nearby rock. “I forgot it doesn’t like to be touched.”

Zevran eyed the bow curiously but shook his head. “You are wonderfully devious.” He held out the box with the lid open. “These should be able to withstand your magic, la mia stella.” 

Damon found a rock to sit on. This was going to be entertaining, he could already tell. Emma picked up the practice daggers and stepped back, hovering on the balls of her feet already. Zevran set the box on the ground before pulling out a second set of practice daggers. 

“You have sparred with a warrior, yes? Now let us try you against something different.” Zevran readied his daggers and Emma instantly mirrored him.

They started off slow, Zevran pausing often to nudge her into a different position, or to use his hands to guide her through a different movement. He kept up a steady stream of commentary in Antivan, and Damon would bet a healthy dose of flirting judging by Emma’s red face.

Solas seemed really tense beside him so Damon kicked at his ankle gently, grinning when he gave him an offended look. “Don’ kill the elf.” He murmured playfully.

Solas gave him an unamused look but took a seat on another rock. Emma was starting to warm up, her eyes beginning to shimmer faintly as she concentrated on following Zevran’s moves. Damon could see her starting to flow, her movements becoming more graceful as she fell into the rhythm of the sparring. Suddenly, her eyes flared brightly and she spun under one of Zevran’s sliding strikes and brought her dagger up where it could slide under his ribcage if it was a real blade. The elf grinned delightedly and slipped away before it could land.

“There you are!” He laughed and began to step up the pace.

Emma’s eyes stayed that ethereal silver as she began to dance, flowing around Zevran’s attacks and dancing through her own. She was breathtaking, deadly and graceful and obviously using some sort of magic. Damon glanced at Solas, who was watching with his lips parted.

“Hey, what she doing?” 

“She is…” Solas breathed. “She is drawing on the fade for knowledge. Without… she does not even realize she is performing such a complex magic.”

Damon hummed. “Does that mean she won’t be able to fight if she gets cut off?”

Solas winced at the thought but shook his head. “I believe she will be able to. She appears to remember the skill after she ceases to draw from the Fade. The knowledge is hers once she has found it.” 

Zevran laughed when Emma’s daggers suddenly flared into silver flames as one slashed at his face and the other went to his midsection. He managed to block them both, but with a little more effort than he had been showing. “Come, la mia stella, I know that trick! Find me something new!”

Emma’s lips peeled back from her teeth in a feral grin as she spun away from his counterattack and dropped to swing her legs over the ground to sweep his feet out from under him. He jumped away, but she followed the move all the way around, spinning like she used to in dance class until she had brought the edge of a dagger along the back of his ankle before he regained his balance. She rolled to her feet triumphantly. “Hamstring.”

Zevran smiled at her and shook his head. “So it is. You learn at an astonishing rate.”

There was the sound of applause behind him, and Damon turned to find most of the group had gathered to watch. Emma flushed bright red and her eyes faded out to blue.

Hawke looked a bit pale and Damon hoped she’d be okay. He knew Em’s eyes set her off, but Emma couldn’t exactly help it when she was casting. 

Bull shook his head, chuckling. “Lil’bit’s starting to grow some teeth.” 

Dorian looked like he was positively bursting with questions, one hand covering his mouth as his brow furrowed in thought. “How is she casting without a focus as well as using blades at the same time? She should not have the focus or skill for it at all, especially considering her lack of practice.” His voice sounded absent, like he was talking to himself. 

“Kinda freaky how she goes all glowy and shite.” Sera mumbled, “Fights good though.”

Cassandra moved to sit next to him. “It is a great improvement from when she trained with me.”

Damon snickered at the reminder of Emma getting tossed on her butt over and over again. “She’s too little to take a hit.”

Emma scowled and blushed as she stomped over to the box to return the daggers. “I’m not even the shortest person here!”

Varric looked up from where he was scribbling down something in his little notepad and placed a hand on his chest, giving a look of mock offense. “Now now, let’s not tease the dwarf.”

Emma rolled her eyes and plopped down in front of Solas ungracefully. Solas chuckled, producing a leather tie and began putting a semblance of order to her hair. Damon had to hide a smirk. They were already acting like newlyweds, though Emma didn't seem to notice.

Hawke seemed to pull herself together and jerked her chin towards Emma questioningly. “How long have you been practicing that trick? The fire on the knives?” 

Interesting thing to focus on. 

Emma shrugged, “About a week I think.” She looked over at Zevran for confirmation.

Zevran grinned. “Yes, she had been practicing with daggers and her magic through them for not much more than a week. She would shock the most talented of duelists, I believe.” 

“A week? Andraste’s tits!” Hawke gave her a wide eyed look. Solas smirked as he braided the last portion of Emma's hair and she flushed. 

Blackwall huffed. “That move with your legs, how did you think of it?”

Damon laughed and stood up to go cook, pausing to squeeze Cass’ shoulder gently. “It’s from a dance from back home.”

“Some dance! I wanna see the whole thing!” Sera perked up.

“Nah, we never learned the whole thing, just pieces.” He shrugged and nudged a still deep in thought Dorian out of his way.

“I must say, I did not expect you to take me so literally when I said to move as a dancer.” Zevran mused as he picked up the dagger box. 

Cass followed Damon as he made his way back to the fire, a scout was already setting out some things but eagerly moved aside when Damon came over, giving him a grateful smile. 

He decided to do french toast. They had a shit ton of stale bread and it had been a hit with the smaller group. Cass watched from his side and he smiled when he noticed the tooth was hanging on the outside of her armor today. 

She caught his smile and the direction of his gaze and blushed. “I am not ashamed of it.” She said quietly enough that only he could hear her.

Before he could answer, Sera plopped down on the other side of the fire. “You doing that sweet bread thing?” Damon nodded as he flipped the first piece, suddenly wishing they were in a smaller group. 

After breakfast was finished, they started breaking down camp. He was just finishing rolling his up and was about to move to help Cass finish hers when he noticed Bull walk up to her as she was tying some of the stakes together. 

“See you’re still wearing the necklace.” He said, folding his arms and leaning against the tree they had decided to pitch next to. Uh oh, Damon knew that tone, this wouldn't end well. “You and he ‘ _ done anything’ _ about that yet?” 

Cass’ hands stilled and she looked over at Bull. “If by ‘done anything’ you mean talk about what it means? Yes, we have. However, I don’t see it as your concern.” She began rolling up her canvas but Damon could see her jaw working. Oh no. 

Bull caught his gaze over her shoulder and winked. “So you haven't done th-” Cass stood, swinging the newly rolled canvas directly into Bull’s midsection with enough force to make the qunari to double over. 

“If you want gossip, I suggest you look elsewhere.” She hissed menacingly.

Bull suddenly began laughing, a loud but slightly breathless belly laugh as he straightened and winked at her. “Naw, I was just teasing you two.” He grinned at Damon over her head, and turned to walk away only toss over his shoulder.. “Bet she’s great in the sack!”

Damon picked up a nearby pebble and flung it, making a satisfied face when it clipped off Bull’s horn. Hilarious asshole. Cass’ face was red and her movements now jerky with her frustration. 

He moved closer to her and dropped his voice. “Hey, you don’t gotta wear-”

“I’m not ashamed!” Cass shot at him and then sighed, lowering her voice. “I’m not ashamed of my feelings or what this,” her hand went to the tooth. ”represents. I just… I want to snap his horns!”

He couldn’t help the soft smile at her saying she felt for him, but simply bumped her shoulder affectionately. “That was a badass swing.” 

She actually chuckled and smiled. “Thank you… I wish it had been his head.”

“Nah, too hard. You got the right spot.” 


	45. Chapter 45

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for brief mention of suicide

 

They made good time to Crestwood and with Emma telling Ever After, the road didn’t seem as tedious. Damon had to admit she was doing a great job adapting the movie into a verbal narrative. Cass was beaming by the end and commented how it was refreshing that Danielle had been able to free herself and had such a strong character. Damon knew she would like it. Danielle reminded him of her in a way. 

He had playfully hinted that Pride and Prejudice was next and Emma groaned but he could tell she enjoyed sharing her favorites. Solas’ interest seemed to persuade her further.

Crestwood was… well it reminded him of a post apocalyptic movie set. With the constant downpour and with the mass of corpses walking out of the lake, he felt like he was in a badly directed episode of the Walking Dead. Thankfully these corpses were slow like proper zombies, but a contagious virus wasn’t to blame. Instead it was a rift under the lake. Apparently spirits can possess bodies. Made sense now why they burned their dead. He needed to bug Solas about that ‘Thedas for Dummies’ book. And they needed to figure out how to seal that rift.

They saw several Gray Wardens on the road, but Emma advised him not to talk to them, signing ‘corrupted’. Blackwall didn’t seem too happy about avoiding them, but Damon listened to the ‘prophet’. 

Once they had cleared the ‘walking dead’ from the gates, they were advised to talk to the mayor. Emma excused herself, saying she had a few things to take care of. Solas followed her so Damon didn’t worry if she got herself into trouble. Though, now that she was a magical glowstick she could probably start getting herself out of trouble as well as she got into it. Still, he felt better knowing that Solas had her back.

The mayor, a middle aged man with graying hair, was immediately against draining the lake, saying they had no way of knowing what effects it might have on the town. He was being shifty. Damon kept the suspicion off of his face and promised that the Inquisition would aid Crestwood if things went bad if they drained the lake. He really needed to get into the habit of doing a debriefing with Emma before walking into these situations. The mayor was still shifty, but gave him the information he needed.

And there was a fort full of bandits in their way. Oh goody! More blood for his hands. 

He left the mayor’s hut to see Emma and Solas making their way back to rejoin the group. 

“That guy was acting pretty shifty in there, Boss.” Bull mumbled.

“Yeah. I seen it.” Damon said quietly. ”You know why, Em?”

She nodded hesitantly and signed, catching a look from Hawke as she did. ‘Mass murder during the last blight, he’s afraid we’ll find the evidence.” She looked over at the hut and shivered. “I asked Harding to keep watch on him if he tries to run.”

He ran a hand over his face and swore. Massfuckingmurder. Wow. He hated his job. “Right. That’s… Thanks. Let’s go stop the zombiepocalypse.” 

“Zom-bee-pock-a-lips?” Hawke sounded the word out curiously.

“Hawke!” Varric groaned in exasperation. 

Damon cracked a smile. “Means the end of the world by walkin’ corpses. Let’s go stop it.” 

Hawke grinned, “Sounds like something us hero types would do.”

They made their way to the fort, Emma, Sera, and Varric taking down walkers by range before they could get close. Emma was using her regular arrows despite the fact that she could use the light arrows just as quickly and effectively, and that made Damon nervous. Meant she was conserving magic. Which meant either a big or a long fight ahead, or she was uncertain how something was going to go. 

It was a long, damp, but fairly straightforward walk to the fort despite the zombies along the way. Damon gritted his teeth when he saw the walls and the heavy looking gate. He directed the group behind a large outcropping of rock and looked at Bull with a frown. 

“They shoulda seen us coming a long ways off. We was down hill.”

“They’re sloppy.” Bull grunted. 

Damon glanced at Emma who shrugged and nodded. “There anyway in beside the front door?” He asked her.

She shook her head. “Not that I know of. There’s a tunnel by the lake, but I don’t know if we can really get to it until after the lake is drained.”

“Fuck. I hate the front door. What are we looking at?”

She furrowed her brow in thought. “A few war dogs, archers right at the front area, foot soldiers behind, and… The chief is a big guy.” She rubbed her forehead. “Just, basic bandits I think. Everything is bigger out here than in my head, though, so there might be more than I remember.”

Hawke gave her an uneasy glance and Zevran was watching her with outright fascination. The rest were just listening, mostly used to her Seeing already. Damon mulled it over thoughtfully.

“So we gotta get through the gates, maybe pair up a tank and a rogue with barriers on ‘em once through to take out the ranged guys as well as keepin’ the dogs back?” He glanced at Solas and Dorian in question. “Who wants to play support and who wants to be ready to deal with any mages they might have?”

Solas glanced at Dorian, who shrugged. “I believe I would prefer to ‘play support’. I have practice with maintaining multiple barrier spells.” Solas said.

“I could use the thuum?” Emma suggested. “For the gates?”

Damon shook his head. “Nah, last time you did that it drained you out. We gotta test it again before we do it in a fight. Otherwise we’d be down at least two people, you and whoever had to guard you. I don’ wanna lose your bow, ‘specially if there’s more than you think.”

Bull leaned out to look at the gates consideringly. “Those doors are bad off, half rotted. Me and you could bust them down without too much trouble.” 

Damon sighed and nodded. Bull probably knew what he was talking about. “Gonna trust you on that.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and squeezed his eyes shut in thought. “Me an’ Bull will take the gate, Blackwall and Cass, keep up in case we get staggered on it and can’t get the dogs right off, once us axes are good, we’ll take point and you shields can cover the ranged fighters as we move in. Daggers tag a mage to keep safe, arrows keep up and take out anything that moves, mages keep everyone up front barrierred.” 

“Tag?” Hawke quirked a brow in question.

“Pick one.” He huffed in amusement. “And because Emma is horribly cross classed, we’re gonna count her as a mage today, so someone tag her in case she lights up while shooting and draws attention.” 

Emma rolled her eyes. “I can focus on the archers if someone keeps the dogs away.”

Blackwall nodded. “The Seeker and myself will be focused on them once we’re in. War dogs are tough.” 

Emma nodded, “Yeah, they're Mabari.”

Tactics sorted, they set up and headed for the gates. Bull had been right and it actually didn’t take too much effort to bust through the water rotted wood. Emma had also been right and there were immediately huge ass dogs to fight while Emma, Sera, and Varric shot at archers standing on the roof of a shed. After that, it was the hair raising and bloody task of searching through every room and corridor of the old fort in search for bandits. They found the chief on top of the walls, and he was indeed a big guy, but no match for him and Bull working together. They finished searching out the place and once they were sure it was clear, Damon collapsed onto a fallen wall stone and started cleaning the blood off of his ax, washing it away with the rain water. 

Gods, he hated this. 

Emma came over to sit next to him, watching him thoughtfully as he tried to scrub the blood away. She was clean of blood due to the distance her bow gave her. He wished he could keep her that way, but he also knew he wasn’t going to be able to forever. Suddenly, her eyes shimmered softly, and the blood disappeared from his hands, clothes, and ax, every last drop of it.

He swallowed hard, relieved beyond words. “Thanks.”

She seemed surprised by it as much as pleased and smiled. “I'm glad it worked.” She leaned against him while the others looked through the fort, she didn’t say anything for a while, just giving him silent support. “It’s late, we should probably camp here and wait till morning to try draining the lake.”

“Yeah…” he glanced around, the bandits had set up shelters from the rain they could pitch their tents under. Maybe he could get some of the Inquisition soldiers out here and make it a base for the area. It might help spread influence and help the village get back on their feet. Gods knew these people needed all the help they could get being plagued by bandits and now walking dead. Last thing he wanted was to get so caught up fighting that he forgot to take care of the people wanting to live in peace. 

Cass came over and sat on his other side, pressing her shoulder against his in a solid line of comfort. “The fort is clear. Bull and Blackwall are seeing to…” she hesitated and he could guess why.

“Yeah… best not add to the walking dead.” He scrubbed at his face, suddenly exhausted.

Cass pressed her lips together and glanced at Emma, who seemed to know exactly what she was thinking, judging by the slight nod she returned. “There is a decent kitchen inside, with plenty of supplies… we could cook a stew tonight and send a large portion of supplies to the village.”

She was trying to get his mind off the death and onto work, and he adored her for it. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea. Thanks.” He stood up and slung his cleaned ax onto his back. “Let’s see what we got. If I can find some beer I can make my dad’s favorite stew.”

Emma inhaled slightly and he gave her a wry smile. He hadn’t cooked anything of dad’s since… Anyway. He wanted to have it tonight. He followed Cass to the kitchens. Emma following slightly behind, her eyes glowing every now and then. The floors and walls were remarkably clear of blood, even in the areas there had been fighting and he guessed what she was doing. He gave her a grateful smile when they reached the kitchen area. 

She gave him a half smile and hugged herself. “You need help?”

He shook his head with a short laugh. “Not from you. I actually want to be able to eat tonight.” 

Emma huffed and shook her head. “Once… it was once!” But her smile seemed relieved at his teasing.

“Was way more than once, Lil’bit, but still, ‘once’ is enough.”

Solas entered the kitchen then and cocked his head at Emma. “You cast another cleansing spell?”

“Sev’ral, if her eyes was showin’ right.” Damon started searching through the sacks and crates in the area for what he needed to cook. Cass started helping, pulling out likely ingredients she had seen him use before as she found them.

“First wasn’t intentional,” Emma gave a nervous looking smile. “But it worked so..” she shrugged.

Solas shook his head and smiled. “As it seems with most of your magic.” He looked over at Damon and Cass before smiling and taking Emma's hand. “Come, let us help set up the tents.”

Damon cast him a grateful smile as he pulled Emma away to give him and Cass some space. She’d picked a good one it seemed. 

“Ah! I have found it.” Cass said triumphantly as she held up two bottles of alcohol. “Now, is this for the stew? Or must we drink it in order to make this stew?”

He laughed out loud, something loosening in his chest when he did. “Both.” 

She laughed and pulled out two mugs that didn’t match but looked possibly clean and wiped them out with a wet rag just for good measure. “I did not know your father cooked, you always said your mother taught you.” She said as she poured him a bit into the mug and held it of to him.  

He accepted the mug, hesitating before tossing back the entire drink at once and answering her. “Mom taught me, but dad did his share of the work too. I jus’... I ain’t cooked anything of his since he…” He grimaced and muscled through it. “Killed himself. ‘S been years now, and I loved his cookin’, so...”

Cass’ mug stopped before it reached her lips. “I… I am sorry. That must have been difficult.” She poured him a bit more into his mug before asking. “Was it… after your mother?”

He raised the mug in silent thanks. “Yeah. He waited just long enough to make sure she would be buried right.” He forced on a smile and started stacking root vegetables onto the counter space to slice. “Took me a while to figure out it wasn’t because I wasn’t worth sticking around for.” 

Cass set down her mug and moved to stand behind him, laying her head against his back, wrapping her arms under his in a backwards hug. It was grounding, comforting. “They must have loved each other greatly… to not be able to go on without her.”

“Loved each other to death.” He huffed and put a hand over hers where it rested on his waist. “But. I been workin’ on forgivin’ ‘im, and today that means makin’ a kickass stew.” 

He could feel Cass laugh slightly against his back. “I find myself eager to try it.”

There was a rattle at the door leading to the kitchen, “Who’s the tit that locked the door?” Sera’s voice called out irritably. “I’m starve’n.”

Damon grinned as he realized Solas must have locked it on his way out. Good dude. “This tit says that if you pick that lock I’m gonna throw a turnip at you.” He called out.

There was a sudden silence before the rogue grumbled. “Jus’ long as your cooking and not…. other stuff.”

“No, I got time for the other stuff while food’s cookin’. I’m good at multitasking.” He winced when Cassandra punched him sharply in the kidney.

“That’s it… eww thanks… appetite gone.” Sera’s voice was quickly fading.

“You are terrible.” Cass accused but he could hear the laughter in her voice.

“That is true. But, she also didn’t break in.” He patted her arm and reached for a clean knife hanging on the wall. “Which means I can now quote the poetry I memorized for you.” 

She released him and moved to his side to help peel and slice. “You truly have been memorizing poetry?”

He smiled softly. “Yeah. I been tryin’ to learn some of the ones from here, but the one I know best is from home.” He hesitated, suddenly feeling awkward. “Would you like to hear it?”

Cassandra hummed, her ears turning red as she peeled a carrot. “I believe so.”

“There be none of Beauty's daughters/ With a magic like Thee; /And like music on the waters /Is thy sweet voice to me: /When, as if its sound were causing /The charméd ocean's pausing, /The waves lie still and gleaming, /And the lull'd winds seem dreaming: /And the midnight moon is weaving /Her bright chain o'er the deep, /Whose breast is gently heaving /As an infant's asleep: /So the spirit bows before thee /To listen and adore thee; /With a full but soft emotion, /Like the swell of Summer's ocean.” He hadn’t quoted poetry since eighth grade, but he could still remember this one like he had read it yesterday. It fit.

Cassandra stared at him with her lips parted for a long moment before she smiled beautifully. “I… I think it is wonderful.”

“Jus’ like you.” He smiled and bumped her shoulder and she made a pleased sound in her throat. 

They worked together to get the stew made, Cass curiously asking about why he did things a certain way in between their comfortable silences. He liked that he could be quiet with her. Quiet, loud, soft, or crude, she just seemed to fit. When they finished and brought out the stew, he found everyone was gathered around a fire that was covered by a tarp large enough for all of them to sit under. 

Blackwall and Bull had apparently finished ‘clearing’ the fort as they were both back and sitting by the fire. Sera was trying to balance something on Bull’s horns without him noticing, he was pretending not to notice, while Dorian seemed to be helping by trying to distract him with conversation.

Emma was poking at the fire with a stick from her place at Solas’ side, while he rubbed circles into her lower back. She was definitely looking upset about something. “Chow’s on.” He called out setting the stew pot down on an empty crate. “And before you ask, Sera, nothing funny went on around it.” 

“I dunno if I believe you, but it smells good enough I might not care.” Sera abandoned her attempts at balancing what turned out to be a rock and turned towards the pot. 

Everyone pulled out their travel bowls and moved to the pot to fill them. Damon noticed Solas fill Emma's bowl and bring it to her, but despite knowing that she loved that kind of stew, she just picked at it, only taking bites when Solas prompted her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He waved to catch her eye and signed at her.

Emma sighed and set down the half eaten bowl. Instead of signing she spoke aloud. “Tomorrow, when we close the rift… it… the mayor killed an entire village and refugees by flooding it and blamed it on the darkspawn. He was afraid that they had the taint and will try and justify it.” She shook her head, “That’s…. that's where all the dead are coming from.”

“Should toss him into the lake.” Damon muttered. “So basically we got a horde to deal with tomorrow as well as pinning down the shifty shit?”

Emma swallowed and nodded. “The evidence we need should be in the mayor’s old home… once the lake is finished draining we’ll have to go through old Crestwood.”

“You know what we’re lookin’ at there?” Damon glanced around to see the group had frozen in the middle of their meal and was staring at them.

“Lot’s of undead… some of them… there were children in the village.” Solas’ arm went around Emma to pull her against him as she suddenly dissolved into sobs.

“Fuck.” Damon felt a chill wash down his spine as he realized what that meant. He wanted to reach out and help comfort her, but… shit, he was going to have to...

“Maker…” Cass’ hand went to cover her mouth in shock and horror.

Bull’s eye narrowed. “You set a watch on him?” Emma was still shaking, so Damon nodded. “Good, he had ‘runner’ written all over him.”

Damon noticed Hawke watching Emma with a new look of unease in her eyes. He nudged Emma’s arm with his hand. “You gonna be ok, goin’ in?” He didn’t know what to do if she wasn’t. They needed her to close the rift, but...

She pulled away from Solas’ chest and scrubbed at her face with the back of her hands. “Yeah… I’m just… I knew… but…” she couldn’t finish before another sob broke loose.

Solas stood and pulled her with him. “That’s enough for tonight.” It was said as a statement but he cast Damon a pleading look as he tucked Emma to his side. Poor guy was probably feeling her grief through their tie.

“Yeah. Jus’, Em, I’m sorry, but if there’s anything big I need to know before we head out tomorrow.” He hated having to push her like this, but they couldn’t stumble into something big without a heads up. 

Emma shook her head. “There’s a dragon but we don’t have to fight it… and a spirit…. of command. It won’t attack… we can send it back without harming it.”

Damon reached out and pulled her away from Solas long enough to squeeze her in a tight hug. “Thank you.” He let her go back to Solas and nodded his head back to their tent. 

Solas gave him a grateful glance and led Emma away. Damon dropped back down into his seat and Cass grabbed his hand.

“You said she knew things, Varric.” Hawke’s voice sounded haunted. “How can she carry shit like that around in her head without losing it?”

Damon squeezed Cass’ hand and shook his head. “Hell if I know, Hawke.”

There was a tense minute of silence before Bull spoke up. “We’re gonna fight the dragon, aren’t we, Boss?”

  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

Emma woke to the pounding headache that usually seem to occur when you fell asleep sobbing. Her head was on Solas’ chest as his arms held her, the same way he had last night. He probably hadn’t moved at all. It was full daylight judging from the light spilling into the tent, the others were probably giving her space.

She could tell by Solas’ breathing that he was awake but probably didn’t want to wake her. “Thank you.” She murmured against his chest.

His arms tightened around her and he pressed his lips against her hair. “No need to thank me, ma’lath.” He shifted so he could look at her face and smooth her hair away from her face. “How do you feel?”

“My head hurts,” As soon as the words were out of her mouth, cool healing magic seeped into her skull and soothed away the pounding ache. She smiled at him and kissed his jaw. “Thank you.”

He kissed her back briefly, before he sat up and she realized they had both gone to bed in their armor. She really hadn’t been in a good state last night. “Are you hungry? You did not eat much last night.” He asked, running a hand through his hair to straighten it, it was long enough now he could probably put a ridiculously small tail In the back.

Her stomach growled in answer to his question. “Yeah.” She answered with a wince.

Solas smiled and turned her so her back was facing him and ran a comb through her hair. “Damon and the others found the controls to the dam last night and drained it overnight.” He informed her as he pulled her hair back into one of those intricate braids he seemed fond of. He kissed her cheek when he finished. “There. Come, you need to eat.” He took her hand in his and led her outside the tent. 

It took a second for her eyes to adjust but when it did, she saw the whole group looking at her with various expressions of concern. Damon was the first one to smile at her. 

“Hey, EmTi. I made squash muffins but no one will try them first.” He grinned at her and gestured to a plate piled with the little cakes, a pile of something white on top of each.

“It’s a vegetable! You don’t put vegetables in cakes! You’re as bad as the fancy pants in Orlais!” Sera groaned, seeming to be willing to run with Damon’s attempt at changing the focus from her. 

Emma smiled and picked up her pace, pulling Solas behind her in her eagerness. “Did you manage to-”

“Yup. Made a soft cheese frosting.” He looked proud of himself, as he should be. 

Emma greedily grabbed one of the muffins. It wasn’t as neat as the ones she was used to, but he was working in rather primitive conditions in comparison. She bit into it and closed her eyes blissfully. They were just like she remembered. Solas’ aura brushed against hers with amusement and pretend jealousy. She glanced at Solas and jerked her chin at the plate. “Go on, they’re delicious.”

Solas raised an eyebrow and raised his hand to wipe some frosting from her chin. Oh my god… he wasn’t going to… not in front of every- But he did, making direct eye contact with her as he licked the frosting from his thumb. “You are correct.”

Damon reached out and covered Sera’s eyes with his hand playfully. “Dude! Think of the children!” Emma knew her face was red from the burning in her ears.

“I would argue that… but yeah, that’s just… ew!” Sera turned away, shaking her head with a giggle.

Zevran grinned and leaned forward to snag a muffin. “Well, with that endorsement, I am convinced to try.” 

Bull was chuckling. “Gotta hand it to you, Solas, that was smooth.” 

“Everyone knows she’s yours, my friend.” Zevran laughed as he finished the muffin off. “I, however, do not mind the show.”

“I do!” Dorian said with a sniff as he picked up a muffin and inspected it doubtfully.

Varric shrugged and took one as well. “You already convinced us to try dragon, this can’t be too much worse.” 

Emma grabbed another muffin and went to go find a place to sit while she ate. She had been meaning to offer to help Damon with his hair, but it looked fine today. She leaned against a crate and Solas joined her a moment later with his own cake in his hands. 

“Why’d you do that in front of them?” She tried to sound upset but was failing miserably.

Solas chuckled. “It gave them something else to focus on.” He turned and pulled her to his side with his free arm. “And I enjoyed it.”

She laughed and shook her head. She was going to be permanently red by the end of this trip if he kept this up. 

They finished their breakfast, the muffins quickly being wiped out after being tried, and started to pack up. The playful mood Solas’ move had started died out as they neared the lake’s edge. The water had receded, exposing the outline of rotted houses in the distance and the movement of a few corpses shambling. 

Damon had them arrange themselves in a sort of arrowhead, warriors on the front edge and mages in the center as they moved closer to the walking dead. Emma was glad she was being classed as a mage as that let her shoot at the corpses before they got close and let the warriors deal with the ones that got too close because of their numbers. They took the beeline path to Old Crestwood, which led to them having to cut right through the thick of the shambling bodies. 

As they neared Old Crestwood, Emma could see a line of the scouts they had brought with them as well as some of the villagers up on the cliff line, shooting down any walkers that got too close to the former shoreline. Once they reached the village, they went to work clearing out a way to the old Mayor’s house in order to gather the evidence they needed as well as find the spirit of command so they could send it back. There were so many more bodies than the game had put in, the village actually village sized. At a few points, Solas would suddenly grab her by the back of the neck and pull her face against his shoulder and would not let her go until something had been passed by. 

She knew what he was protecting her from, but it still helped to not have to see. By the time they reached the entrance to the flooded caverns, Damon’s spine was a stiff line of tension and his fingers were clenched tightly around the haft of his ax. He was going to break after this was over. 

When they entered the cavern, Varric made a joke about getting lost underground and Damon gave her a strained smile. “Time to shine, nightlight.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him, but imagined her aura forming a glowing ball of light that would hang above their heads like a mage light in Skyrim. Solas felt pleased and curious as he studied it, but Dorian just pressed a frustrated hand to his head as he looked up at the light.

“What even is that?” Hawke looked frustrated as well, her hands twitching like she wanted to reach up and touch it. 

Damon huffed and gave her a grateful glance, and they were off, fighting the corpses of the murdered villagers and refugees as well as a few demons as they trudged deeper and deeper until they reached the dwarven ruins. They found and killed the rage demon for the spirit of command and then headed even deeper. Emma shivered when Damon pressed a hand to a dripping wall and shook his head.

“Hold my hand, oh baby. It’s a long way down to the bottom of the river.” He sang quietly.

“Blot, please. Being underground already gives me the creeps.” Varric shuddered.

Damon huffed without amusement, his eyes still on the wall. “I can feel how heavy she is, pressing down on top o’ us like guilt on the soul. I don’ like it neither.” 

“Oh shite! I'm gonna have nightmares… worse nightmares.” Sera grumbled and put her hands over her ears.

Finally, they reached cavern with the rift. Emma’s light immediately drew the attention of the demons, but she didn’t really have a choice but to keep it up so the warriors could see. The group fell into the same pattern Damon had laid out at Caer Bronach, warriors leading the attack with the mages casting protection spells, and the archers sniping off what they could with the rogues with daggers protecting their backs. 

It was a fairly short fight despite the terror demons. The group was chock full of people skilled at killing and they were quickly learning how to fight together efficiently. The second the last demon fell, Emma thrust out her hand, gritting her teeth as she tried to close the rift. To her shock, it slammed shut with a loud crack and the barest of twinges in her hand. She looked at the mark in shock. “It didn’t hurt!”

Solas grabbed her hand and sent curious magic into it. He made a relieved sound before pulling her in to kiss her forehead and smiling at her. “It does not seem to be fighting you anymore.”

“That’s-” she looked down at her hand in shock. It had never stopped fighting the Inquisitor’s body in the game. Did that mean-? “Are you sure?”

Solas nodded. “I am sure.” His arua pressed against hers, showing the extent of his confidence in this. 

Damon walked towards them, every line of his body looking tense. He leaned on his ax and looked around with a blank expression. “We done down here, Em?” 

She pointed down towards a wall where she remembered the path out being. “There’s an elvhen relic further down that will strengthen the veil, help prevent rifts from happening again.” 

He nodded and picked up his ax, wearily heading in the direction she had pointed out. Solas gave her an odd look but she hurried after Damon so he’d have light. 

The artifact wasn't hard to find, and it activated with the slightest touch of her hand, recognizing the magic that created it. They made their way to the shaft and Emma stopped when she saw that the nugs had no fear of them, several came over to them and curiously sniffed their boots. She hesitated before crouching down and holding her hand out to the nearest one. It moved towards her curiously and she picked it up. It kicked for a minute before settling down and allowing her to tuck it under her arm. She looked up to find the group staring at her in confusion. Damon just looked amused. 

“Princess, do I even want to ask?” Varric chuckled, as he stared at the hairless pink thing.

Emma gave him a sheepish look. “It’s a present for someone.”

Bull frowned. “It’s a nug.”

“I'm not blind,” Emma rolled her eyes and looked at Damon. “I can leave it with the scouts at camp until we’re done… it won't be much trouble.”

He grinned at her. “Yeah. ‘S fine. You gotta pay me if you wan’ me to knit it a sweater though.” 

She smiled at him. “You’ll have to talk to Leliana about that.”

Dorian startled. “It is for the spymaster? Why would you give her a nug? Have you no sense of self preservation at all?”

Damon laughed. “No, pretty sure she don’. Now let’s get the fuck up to some sky.” 

Emma saw Zevran giving her a considering look and she shrugged at him and scratched the nug’s ears. She knew things about them.

They finished up underground and headed for the surface. It was late afternoon by the time they reached the open air but the rain had finally stopped. There were piles of dead being collected and burned and Emma covered her nose and mouth at the smell while they sent the spirit of command back. Damon made sure the Mayor, who the scouts had collected when he had tried to run, as well as his letter of confession left in his house, was sent back to Skyhold to be dealt with and that the village’s defenses were up to dealing with the last of the horde. 

They used the last of the daylight to press eastward, towards the dragon and Hawke’s contact. They set camp and ate out of their travel rations, Damon too worked up to consider trying to cook. She thought about offering to let Damon sleep in her tent, to help him through whatever nightmares were inevitably coming. He had seen what Solas had been hiding from her. But then Cass moved her hands and told him to stay with her that night. Damon cracked a small smile and signed, “As you wish.” and Emma looked away with a blush, feeling reassured that he would be taken care of. 

Come morning, Damon was already up and cooking oatcakes before the sun had completely risen, but he looked like he had gotten at least a little sleep. They ate and packed up and headed out to find Judith and check on her for one of the villagers. She was fine of course, but Damon wanted to deal with the wyvern causing trouble. 

They found the cave leading to it’s den with Emma’s help and she hugged herself as Damon considered what she’d told them. 

“Chokepoint, three of ‘em.” He looked at her in question. “Can you throw a shield?”

She frowned and shoved her hand out, imagining a solid and protective wall. A silver shimmer of light solidified in front of her, singing of strength and protection. Damon banged his ax against it and looked satisfied when it rebounded like he had hit a wall. 

Solas frowned at her curiously. “Why did you not simply use a barrier?”

Hawke frowned at the shield as she let it flicker out of existence. “Yeah, it’s probably simpler than whatever that is.”

She winced sheepishly. “I don’t know how?”

Dorian looked at her like she had just dumped a bucket of cold water over him. “You have been performing all of these- these- insane magicks and you don’t know how to cast a basic barrier?! Solas, what have you been teaching her?”

Solas leaned on his staff with a grin. “I have taught her nothing, she has not had need of it until now, apparently.”

Dorian threw his hands up in the air at her. “Why must you be so… so you? No focus, no training, impossible visions, impossible magic, I would need at least a century of study to figure it out!”

She shrugged sheepishly. “I can’t help it!”

Damon laughed. “Y’all can nerd out later. For now, we gotta get past that bottle neck.”

He eyed the group thoughtfully before pointing to each person as he spoke. “Dorian with Zevran an’ Sera, Varric with Solas, Emma an’ Hawke. Us tanks’ll hit ‘em hard from the front while you circle ‘round to range it. Daggers keep shit from coming up behind us all, arrows pot shot, mages protect or shoot as needed. If you see one look at you, stop firing and let someone else catch it’s attention ‘case they can spit. Emma, I want you shooting the good stuff.”

Emma nodded and unslung her bow from her back. Damon glanced around before grinning with all of his teeth. “Axes with shields, like before. Try not to die, and remember, this is practice for the big one.” 

Hawke snorted and moved to stand next to her uncomfortably. Emma wondered why Damon had paired them, he had to know she made her uncomfortable. She saw Damon pass Solas something, who gave him a sharp glance before accepting it. She didn’t have a chance to look and see what it was before they were heading into the cave, her mage light hovering over Damon and Blackwall who were leading the way. 

Her stomach flipped nervously when the massive hart statues came into view, but then the wyverns were charging and there was no time to think as she shoved a shield in front of Damon and focused on keeping it up as Hawke grabbed her arm and dragged her away from the cave entrance and to a rock that gave Emma a bit of height for shooting. She let the shield drop now that Damon had a bit of space to swing and pulled the string of her bow. 

Hawke sounded frantic beside her. “Where the fuck are your arrows?”

Emma formed the magic blade, feeling it against her fingers as solidly as wood, and let it loose. It cut through the hide of the wyvern like butter and it’s head swung towards her with a shriek. She put up the shield again just in case it spit, and Varric and Sera started raining bolts and arrows at it till it looked away from her. 

“What the fuck?” 

Emma ignored Hawke and dropped the shield so she could pick up her bow again. This time, when she formed the blade, she imagined it as capable of exploding on impact. She took her time aiming, not letting it loose until a swing from Damon’s ax cut through its front leg and it reared back with a shriek, it’s head holding still for just the second she needed. She loosed the arrow and let out a whoop as it went into the wyvern’s open mouth and exploded. 

The beast toppled to the ground with a gurgle, and Damon turned to help Cass, Blackwall, and Bull, who were tag teaming the two smaller ones to keep them from landing a hit anywhere. 

“Whatthefuck?” Hawke sounded a little faint. 

Damon seemed to have figured out how to take down the other two quickly and managed to maneuver them so they faced her before getting them to shriek so she could do the head shot. The last of the wyverns collapsed to the ground and Emma grinned happily, turning to Hawke in her excitement. 

“It worked!”

Hawke stared at her with her mouth open. “You… didn’t… you’ve never done that before?” She scrubbed her hands over her face before stepping back. “What the fuck even are you?”

Emma’s excitement died instantly. “I’m… I’m not possessed. I’m not like-” She stopped and winced.

Hawke looked at her with a frozen expression for a second. “You- you’ve Seen him.” She let out a desperate exhale when Emma nodded. “I know you’re not possessed. You can’t- none of the shit you do is like-” She looked away and clenched her jaw. 

“I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry about? You’re the fucking prophet, the Herald who can apparently do impossible things without thinking. What are you sorry for?” Hawke looked like she was close to tears and Emma didn’t know how to help.

Emma hugged her bow. “I’m sorry about Anders. I- I’m sorry you lost him. I’m sorry I remind you of him.”

Hawke let out a pained sound. “You don’t-” She closed her eyes sharply. “Just… if you can, could… could I have stopped him?”

“No.” Emma said softly. “He… Vengeance had mostly taken over. There wasn’t… you couldn’t have stopped him.” 

“Oh shit!” Varric's voice said from behind them, making Emma turn to see concern on his face as he looked between them. She could see the rest of the group hanging back behind him.

Hawke took a shuddering breath before opening her eyes, “It’s fine… I'm- I need a moment.” With that she turned and headed for the exit of the cavern, Damon reaching out and putting a hand on Sera’s shoulder to keep her from following as she passed the group. 

Varric sighed and shook his head. “Guess I don't have to ask how you knew about her and Blondie.”

Emma shook her head sadly. “I didn't know for sure until now.” She shut her eyes against the tears forming in her eyes. Hawke had executed the man she loved because she felt she had no other choice. Her heart broke for the woman. 

“Vhenan?” Solas stepped in front of her and held out his arms. She went willingly and sighed into his chest. “You can not change the past.” She heard him whisper into her hair.

“I know.” 


	46. Chapter 46

The scouts had reported that the dragon had begun circling the drained lake near the village. It hadn’t attacked and still returned to its haunt in the mornings, but if Damon knew anything about buzzards or hawks, somebody was about to get eaten. That made taking care of it a priority, in order to bring stability and safety to the area. At least, that’s what he said with a perfectly straight face to Leliana’s runner, who had been sent specifically to warn him about ‘putting their only Herald in danger. Again’. Apparently, the second the dragon had been sighted, word had been sent back to her, and the second word had reached her, she had sent a runner. 

The runner looked longsuffering as she headed back the way she came and Bull clapped him on the shoulder the second she was out of earshot. “That bullshit was so well spun I almost believed it.” 

Fighting the dragon was as exhilaratingly terrifying as the last one, made even more blood racing and dangerous by the fact that they didn’t have the chance to ground it before it spotted them. But Emma was all OP now and managed to keep them all shielded until Varric and Solas managed to cut a wing with Solas’ handy ice glyphs on Varric’s bolts. After that, it was up to him and the other warriors to keep it hurting and keep it distracted so that Emma could drop her shield for a few moments to shoot those handy fade arrows. Solas spent most of the fight putting glyphs on arrows and he looked fairly amused by the whole ordeal. Especially afterwards when Sera was complaining about ‘weird shite arrows’.

Damon’s blood was up when the dragon fell for the final time, his heart singing with adrenaline and his teeth bared in vicious elation. He actually picked Cassandra up and spun her around afterwards, so excited by the rush of the fight that he had pressed an ecstatic kiss to her mouth. Immediately after, he had realized he hadn’t asked, and had tried to step back to apologize, but she had grabbed him by the horns and pulled him back in for an amazingly aggressive kiss that involved a lot of tongue and teeth. They only broke apart when the group (meaning Bull, Zevran, and Hawke) started calling out suggestions. Damon flipped them off with one hand and pressed one more kiss to Cass’ lips before suddenly remembering Emma was going to fall out. 

He shoved aside his excitement and awe over kissing Cass and rushed to her side. He barely reached her in time to catch her when her eyes sparked out and she fainted. He knew that keeping eleven people shielded from a high dragon’s breath and claws, as well as shooting bolts of pure magic, would probably drain her out. He wasn’t too concerned about it now that she wasn’t going to hit her head. She had been sparking up more often the past few days and probably needed a good drain. Also, she regained her magic fast enough that she should be good to go by the time they got near the smuggler’s cave. Enough to use her muggle weapons, if not her handwaving, anyway. 

Solas hovered by his side the whole walk to the horses, trying not to look anxious but failing fairly miserably. He only seemed to level out when he got on his horse and Damon basically put Emma in his lap so she could nap while they moved. He handed Caramel’s reins to Solas so he could lead her horse back and went off to be bossy. It took him a few minutes to give out orders to the scouts, who had stayed back at a safe distance until the dragon was downed. He wanted the hide and bone sent back to Skyhold for Harrit and Dagna to play with. Cassandra had murmured a few words to one of the scouts, who had saluted, but had refused to tell him what she had ordered. 

By the time he had gotten back to the horses, Solas looked annoyed, Hawke looked concerned, and Dorian looked like he wanted to put Emma under her microscope. Hawke turned to him as he approached with a worried tint to her voice. “He won’t give her a lyrium potion. She’s magically exhausted!” 

Solas’ eyes moved like he was trying not to roll them. “She will recover on her own.”

Dorian shook his head. “On the one hand, I believe you. On the other hand, it shouldn’t be possible! That extensive shield must have taken almost all of her magic. It covered all of us against a direct strike from the dragon’s claws!” 

Damon gave Hawke a reassuring smile. “She really will. She’ll sleep for an hour or two and be right as rain. She’s done this before.”

Dorian shook his head again and looked up at where Emma was currently curled in Solas’ lap, his brow furrowed in concern. “She should be taught to conserve her magic. Overspending could be dangerous.” 

Hawke nodded in agreement, lyrium potion still in her hand.

“She don’ tap it out an’ she starts sparking non stop and everyone gets to be sober.” At Hawke and Dorian’s questioning glances, Damon elaborated. “She accident’ly casts cleansing spells when her magic flares up.”

Solas actually chuckled and shook his head. “She will recover and I doubt she would forgive me for subjecting her to lyrium.”

Damon nodded in agreement. Cullen was still trying to get off that shit, he didn’t want Emma on it either. Dorian opened his mouth in what was probably an objection but Damon cut in. “She really is fine. She’ll prob’ly wake up by the time we get back to camp even.”

They didn't seem convinced but nodded and mounted their horses for the ride back, but kept their horses close to Solas’. No doubt to keep an eye on her. The camp had just come into sight when Emma sleepily opened one eye and glared at Dorian. “Stop pokin’ m’ magic. ‘M tryin’ t’ sleep.”

Dorian looked startled but Emma was already back asleep before he could try to defend himself, leaving him to deal with Solas staring at him with both eyebrows raised. 

Damon stifled a chuckle and looked at Dorian with a stony expression. “Were you magically bad touching my sister?” 

The mage’s eyes widened and he opened his mouth, looking like he was slightly panicking, before he narrowed his eyes. “You are teasing me.” 

“So you were!” 

Dorian huffed and looked away uncomfortably. “I was simply trying to track how quickly her aura was regenerating. It should not have been noticeable.” 

Solas gave him a flat look. “Emma is very sensitive to auras. I believe it would be best if you kept yours to yourself.”

Hawke glanced at Emma uneasily and looked away. Damon would bet that Hawke had taken a poke before as well. 

Bull loudly chimed in, “If you are all going to be ‘magic touching’ each other, at least do it in your tents.” 

“Or how ‘bout not at all!” Sera suggested with a grimace.

“Ah, I feel left out! I cannot join in this magical touching.” Zevran grinned and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively as he dismounted his horse to tether it to a rope stretched between two trees by the camp.

Blackwall pulled a mournful expression. “How will we tell the Herald that you were ‘magically touching’ her while she slept?”

Varric laughed hard enough he had to wipe his eyes. “Just more food for rumors, Sparkler.”

Dorian slid off of his horse with his spine straight but his face red. “As if you won’t be the one spreading them.” 

Solas chuckled and smoothed Emma's hair away from her face. “Emma’lath.” She burrowed her face into his shirt and mumbled something unintelligible. Solas laughed and shifted to make her sit up, earning a frown from her as she opened her eyes sleepily. “We are at camp.”

Damon slid off of MoFo and dropped the reins to the ground. He’d come back for him in a minute. For now, he reached up to help Emma down. Solas gave him a grateful nod as he passed her over.

“Why d’ I always get tired? S’not fair, you never get tired.” She grumbled as Damon shifted her to carry her princess style.

“I don’t break the universe, EmTi.” He chuckled wryly as he headed for the fire. He did get tired. He purposely bumped into Dorian when he passed the mage. “Hey, think you wanna make up for the bad touchin’ with some coffee?” 

Dorian gave him a long suffering sigh but when he saw Emma was awake there was obvious relief in his eyes. “I believe I could be persuaded.”

Damon grinned at him and went to set Emma down on a rock by the fire. She listed to the side but stayed upright, if a bit groggy. Cass moved to sit next to her in pretense of needing to sharpen her sword, though she seemed to be acting more as a support for Emma instead of actually sharpening it. Damon left her in Cass’ capable hands and went to see what supplies the scouts had broken out for him to cook lunch with. 

By the time he was serving up a venison hash, Emma was looking more alert, her hands cupped around a mug of coffee as she listened to Dorian’s questions with an amused smile. Solas had taken Cass’ place beside her and looked like he was chewing on his tongue. 

“Why didn't you seek training as soon as your magic manifested?” Dorian looked like he was frustrated but extremely curious.

Emma smirked and gestured at Solas with a ‘ta-da’ hand flick, to which the mage actually rolled his eyes. “We were kinda more worried about people thinking I was an abomination. My eyes glowed non stop for the first few days unless I suppressed my aura to the point of passing as a tranquil.”

Hawke visibly shuddered but there was a small amount of guilt in her expression. Varric had told him of their first encounter and Damon guessed she was blaming herself for Emma’s fear of being accused of being possessed. Cullen’s freak out probably hadn’t helped that either… 

He pushed a plate into Emma’s hands and took her empty mug away. She immediately started shoveling food into her mouth, by all appearances starving. He chuckled and jerked his head towards the fire. “Food’s hot.” 

Dorian was still focused on Emma though. “Have you figured out why your eyes glow? It is… unheard of.”

“Rare,” Solas countered. “Not unheard of. Unfortunately, the most talented mages are accused of possession immediately after their power manifests.”

Emma covered her mouth as she chewed quickly so she could answer. Damon answered for her. “She’s got enough magic it’s like stuffin’ lightnin’ in a bottle. It’s gotta get out somehow.” 

Dorian looked at him with a frown. “How do you know? You cannot sense magic, can you?”

He rolled his eyes. “No, but I got eyes. I seen her light up, I seen her do some pretty impossible shit according to you guys.” He went back to the fire to get himself and Cassandra plates. 

Emma rolled her eyes, “He’s smarter than people give him credit for.” 

He flipped her off before dishing out some hash onto a pair of plates. “That’s what she said.” 

She looked like she was about to argue but Solas cut her off, addressing Dorian. “Emma has a larger well of magic to draw from than the average mage, and it filled instantly upon the awakening of her magic.”

Dorian still looked like he was confused. He stared at the fire and cupped his chin in thought. “What could have triggered it though? Mages are known to manifest their abilities under extreme emotion or stress.”

Damon turned to glance between her and Solas with a grin and Emma flushed bright red. 

Solas actually smirked. “Extreme emotion might be applicable.” 

Dorian glanced between Emma and Solas and coughed. “Ah.” 

Emma elbowed Solas but the mage still wore a grin. “It wasn't like that! We didn't do anything!”

Damon hummed innocently as he headed towards Cassandra. “That sure was one hell of a bite mark on your neck when I got back.” 

Emma groaned and dropped her face in her hands, “That was after… you know what? Shut up!”

Bull laughed and slapped his knee while Varric pulled out his notepad, earning a glare from Emma as he started writing something down. 

“If that's for a romance serial, Varric, I will start quoting your entire life to everyone.” He squinted at her and she set her jaw mulishly. “Yes. Even that.”

Solas covered his mouth with one hand and his shoulders started to shake in laughter. Damon wondered when he planned on explaining to Emma about their ‘tie’. He didn't seem all that worried about their relationship being known so it was pretty unlikely he wanted her to cut it. 

Varric held up his hands in surrender and tucked the notebook away. “Alright, Princess. No romance serials.”

Damon passed Cassandra her plate and settled next to her. “You can make it a side plot in my book, shortstack. Speaking of plot, what’s goin’ down with the warden we’re ‘posed to find tonight?” 

Hawke served herself a portion of hash before taking a seat close to Varric. “He’s in a smuggler’s cave not far from here, the Wardens are hunting him. Didn't get all the details but there’s something bad going on and he thinks it has to do with Corypheus.” Emma made a face, but Hawke continued before he asked her what it was about. “He should be expecting us but I'd still be careful going in.”

“Okay, so a smaller group would be best for a meeting.” He looked around the fire, considering who he’d want with him if shit went sideways. “Cass, Solas, Varric? An’ of course, Em an’ me. Sound good?”

Hawke nodded. “Should be, when do you want to leave?”

Damon looked up at the sky. “If we leave right after we eat we should hit the cave at dusk. You feel up to it yet, Em?”

Emma nodded and set her plate down. “Yeah, I'm be ready to go.” Her brow was drawn in thought and he wondered what exactly was bothering her.

He caught her eye and signed. “Shit gonna go down?”

She shrugged but shook her head. Probably not. Okay. Good enough. He sharpened his ax while he waited for Cass and Varric to finish eating, half listening to the conversations within the group. As soon as they were ready, they mounted up. Solas pulling Emma up in front of him instead of letting her ride on her own. They headed out towards the smuggler’s cave and sun was setting when they reached the entrance, leaving the sky dark enough that he could see light emanating from the cave. Someone was definitely in there and had lit the place up. 

He had Solas and Emma stay at the back of the group so that he and Hawke could make sure the area was safe. They reached a portion of the cave where the ceiling was higher, making it an almost cavern, and the hair on the back of his neck prickled. He whirled towards a whisper of movement in the corner of his eye, unslinging his ax as he did so it was ready to use. He locked eyes with a dark haired man who had his sword pointed at him and waited for the stranger to make the first move. 

Hawke hurried over and raised her hands placatingly. “It’s just us. I brought the Inquisitor and the Herald.”

The man looked Damon over and sheathed his sword. “I believe we-”

He was cut off as Emma entered the small cavern and suddenly lit up like a nuclear power core. A shock wave blasted out away from her, passing harmlessly through everyone except the man, who went flying backwards. His back hit the cave wall and he slid to the ground, looking dazed but uninjured.

“Oh shit.” Damon glanced between him and her, ax still ready. “What did he do?”

She swayed a bit but hugged herself and stepped back. “I’m sorry! It was an accident! I forgot it wouldn’t be Stroud.” Solas moved to stand behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, eyes narrowed at the guy in suspicion.

Hawke stepped forward and helped him up. “I’m glad you drained yourself earlier. That could have been nasty” She said wryly.

“Shit! Easy there, Princess!” Varric cursed and went to stand over by Hawke. 

The guy shook his head and eyed Emma warily. “I am Warden Loghain Mac Tir. Often known as ‘The Traitor Teyrn’, if that answers your question.” 

Damon frowned, he’d read about a guy named Loghain, apparently the queens father, who had left the former king of Fereldon on the battlefield during the last blight. Some of the accounts said they were overwhelmed, others said he had orchestrated it. It was obvious which one Emma believed. 

Emma glared at him. “He’s one of the reasons my Al- my…” She hesitated and glanced back at Solas, who raised a brow at her. “Guest is in the shape he’s in. He’s… Not-” She made a low growling noise and Damon’s eyebrows rose in shock. Oh boy, she hated him. And had painted an interesting connection between the drunk in the barn and a traitor to the Fereldon throne… That spelled trouble. 

“We have to work with him.” She grumbled. “He won’t be a problem, mostly.”

Damon hesitated. He really didn’t want to touch this with a twenty foot pole, but apparently they needed him. He looked back to Loghain, who was watching Emma with skeptical eyes. 

“So you are the supposed Chosen of Andraste?” He asked with a sneer that Damon didn't like at all. “Tell me, was it the pretty trick with your eyes that made them not discredit you as a charlatan? Everyone knows of my ‘mistake’.”

Cassandra scowled but said nothing when Damon made a slight downward motion with his hand. Last thing they needed was for this to escalate too much. 

Emma's eyes flashed and her hands curled into fists. “Just like everyone knows Cailan was going to set Anora aside and was seeking an alliance with Orlais through marriage to Celine? Just like everyone knows you and your daughter sold elves from the Alienage into slavery to Tevinter to fund your rebellion?”

Yikes, okay, it was not a good sign when Emma was the one wanting to swing instead of him. Which, he did want to swing, slaves?! What the fuck!, he just had to be responsible and shit. He subtly signed, “stop her.” to Solas. 

She went to take a step towards him but Solas’ hand tightened on her shoulder and his own eyes shimmered faintly. Emma blinked before taking a deep breath and fixing a hard gaze on Loghain. “I never claimed to be holy or chosen, I hate it! But the truth is, I know what you've done.” 

Loghain visibly paled despite his scowl. “I see.”

“Emma!” Damon ran a hand over his face before switching to sign language. “Take a step back, just jump in and let me know if he’s lying about something. Let’s get over with dealing with him as fast as possible.” 

Emma shut her eyes tightly and made a face, but signed back. “Okay. Just, don’t trust him.”

Loghain frowned at their hands, his own moving back to his sword, but Hawke shook her head. “They’re just talking.” 

Solas glanced at Damon before guiding her back a few steps and placing himself between her and Loghain. He wasn't sure if it was for Emma’s benefit or Loghain’s. Probably both.

Damon looked at the man. “So you’re Hawke’s contact in the wardens?”

Loghain nodded and shifted his gaze away from Emma and towards him. “I’ve been a warden for ten years. But they will never fully consider me theirs. Something I’ve had cause to be grateful for recently.”

“Yeah, I heard the Wardens were having troubles. Any chance they have something to with Corypheus?”

“I believe so. After Hawke killed Corypheus, Weisshaupt was content to forget the whole affair. If an archdeacon can survive seemingly mortal wounds, why not Corypheus? I began to investigate.” Loghain’s voice fell into a familiar cadence as he spoke. He sounded like a politician. “I found evidence, but no proof. And then, soon after, every warden in Orlais began to hear the Calling.”

Hawke frowned at the warden. “You never told me.”

Loghain glanced at her with a slight scowl. “I didn’t believe it concerned you.”

“Emma said the Calling you guys are hearing isn’t real, but if every Warden thinks it is, they think they’re dying, don’t they?”

Loghain sent an odd look over at where Solas was currently holding Emma by her shoulders and murmuring something too low for them to hear in her ear. Whatever it was it seemed to be calming her. ”Yes, thanks to Corypheus, I believe. If the Wardens fall, who will stop the next blight? That is what’s panicked my brethren.”

Hawke scrubbed at her face in frustration. “So, thanks to the calling, Corypheus has them scared… and they’re playing right into his hands.”

“So Corypheus really is mimicking it somehow?”

Loghain shook his head, “I don’t know. Even as a senior warden, I knew little about him. The Wardens believe it to be real, despite my warnings about Corypheus. That is all that matters at the moment.”

What about Blackwall? He was a warden. Damon made a mental note to check in with him. “You have an idea of how Corypheus can make all these Wardens hear the Calling?” Damon asked, frowning.

“I don’t know. It is likely part of his nature. Corypheus is, or was once, a mortal man. The blight owns him, but it did not create him. Wardens are tied to the blight through the darkspawn. That is how Corypheus influences Warden minds. Somehow, he is using that power to mimic the calling.” Loghain glanced over at Emma. “Perhaps she may know more of it, if she knows what she claims.”

Emma glared at him, her eyes flashing silver. “After the blight in Fereldon, they’re worried a blight without Wardens could destroy the world. Warden Commander Clarel proposed a blood magic ritual to try and stop any further blights. He protested the plan and they tried to arrest him. Grey Wardens are gathering in the Western Approach in an ancient Tevinter ritual tower. He wants us to meet him there to find further answers.” 

Loghain narrowed his eyes at her and worked his jaw, “That-”

“Was exactly what you were about to say.” Emma forced a tight smile. “I know.” She looked over at Damon, “The ritual requires… sacrifices.”

Damon ran a hand over his face. Sacrifices. He’d bet she wasn’t talking nugs either. You don’t get demon armies from sacrificing nugs.  “Right. Nice. Okay. Definitely stopping that.”

Loghain growled as he turned and slammed a fist down on the small table close by before turning a glare on Emma. “If you knew all this why have you not acted?”

She paled slightly and glanced at Hawke before answering him. “I can't change the past. The Wardens were already under Corypheus’ influence before I…” she stopped and shook her head. “I may not like you but you are needed.” 

Damon slung his ax onto his back. Lovely. They had to work with the slaver. “So we need to head there.” 

Emma nodded, “We should have enough time to circle back to the Fallowmire first.” She looked down a little sheepishly. “I read the message Cullen sent you about sending scouts to the Fallowmire… they’re going to be captured by Avvar, we need to get them out.”

Cassandra’s eyes widened and she glanced at Damon in obvious question. 

Damon gave Emma a flat look. “Em. Stay out of my stuff.”

“It was open on the stump!” She said, folding her arms defensively.

Varric let out a short chuckle at that.

He gave her a conceding nod. He needed to police his notes better. “We’ll get them and then head right to the Western Approach. Sound good, warden?”

Loghain gave a sharp dip of his chin, “I’ll set up camp next to one of the Inquisition camps. Your Spymaster will know where to find me.” He moved like he was about to leave before turning to frown at Emma. “I believed I was doing the right thing for Ferelden. Whether you choose to believe that or not.”

With that, he grabbed a pack from near the door and left them standing in the cavern. Emma slumped against Solas and buried her face into his chest. “Why couldn't it have been Stroud!”

Damon sighed and rolled his shoulders to loosen the tension creeping in. “Why couldn’t it have been follow the butterflies?”

  
  


 

 

 

 

Emma felt completely exhausted on the ride back to camp. Solas held her tightly against him while they rode, his aura brushing against hers soothingly and she was glad he had insisted they ride together. Loghain. Why’d it have to be Loghain? Of all the people she never wanted to talk to... And she had lost control… again. 

The others had moved the camp closer so it wasn't near as long a ride back. Tents were already sent up and several scouts met them to take their mount’s reins. Solas let her slide off Elgar'alas'nir by herself but his aura stayed pressed against hers as he dismounted. Probably knowing that the constant contact was helping her not to freak out even more.

She smiled at him as he took her hand and led her towards the fire. Damon started getting things out to cook and quickly had the others laughing and joking. No one who had been there mentioned her outburst and for that she was grateful. 

They had just finished eating when Solas squeezed her hand. “I’ll be a moment.” He smiled and got up to duck into their tent. 

Emma took their plates and she carried them towards the area the scouts had set up for washing. Damon fell into step beside her, speaking quietly once she had set the plates down. “Hey. Why didn’t you tell us all that about him sooner?”

She looked down, feeling miserable. “I forgot it would be him. And we… really do have to have him. I… I might be able to change something, but if I can’t... We need him.” She glanced up at him. “I’m sorry. About… forgetting to mention that. And the magic.”

Damon sighed softly. “I get there’s a lot of shit up there.” He tapped her forehead gently. “An’ it might be hard to keep track of. Jus’... try and let us know when you can. And don’ worry about the magic. You’re still learnin’.” 

Emma nodded, relieved he wasn’t angry at her for her accidental omission, she really had forgotten, and that he wasn’t… upset about her outburst. She wrapped her arms around his waist. “Thank you!”

Damon squeezed her tightly, picking her up far enough that her feet went off the ground before setting her back down. “Love you too, EmTi. Now I think Akela wants to talk to you.” 

Akela? The wolf from the Jungle Book? Emma turned to see Solas watching them with a small smile and shook her head at Damon. “Every chance, huh?” 

He grinned and punched her shoulder lightly as he moved back towards the fire. “Gotta turn in a circle three times, Em.” 

Solas watched him go before quirking an eyebrow at her. “Do I even want to ask?”

She chuckled. “Probably not.”

Solas hummed as he moved to take her hand in his. “Walk with me?”

She smiled and nodded. Damon’s words had helped drive away some of her melancholy? Fears? She wasn’t sure exactly what she had been feeling but she felt better now. She squeezed his hand which earned her a soft smile from him.

They walked hand in hand for a while. They weren’t too far from the camp that they’d get lost, but definitely far enough away for privacy. Solas was quiet, his aura radiating nervousness and determination, and he refused to answer her questions, simply telling her that he would tell her when they were there. The night was beautiful so she was mostly content to walk in silence. Mostly. She brushed her aura against his with impatient curiosity and his responded with amusement. 

“Just a little further.” He squeezed her hand.

She rolled her eyes fondly as they walked around a large outcropping of rock that lead to a cave entrance. Her smile faded as she realized where he was taking her. 

The wyvern cavern.

She pulled her hand away from his as she stared at the cave entrance in horror.

“Emma’lath?” She could hear the concern in his voice and it made her heart hurt.

It was too soon. She was supposed to have another year. She was supposed to have more time. She couldn’t- He was going to leave her already. She felt his aura brush against hers in question and concern as he tried to pick up her hands. Tears welled up and she shook her head and took a step backwards. “No, nonono.” She pulled away from him, coiling her aura tightly in her chest away from his, and turned and ran. 

It was hard to see the path back through her tears but she could feel the link between her and Damon and she grabbed onto it desperately, following it. Her lungs burned, she couldn’t breathe. It was too soon. She was supposed to have more time with him. Why was he doing this so soon? She thought- She stumbled and sobbed as she started to fall, but strong arms caught her before she hit the ground.

“Emma? What’s wrong?” It was Damon. She clung to him, sobbing too hard to answer him.

“Damon, is she-?” Cass’s voice called out worriedly.

“I got her.” He called back. “Take the others back to camp.” He hugged her close, hooking an arm under her legs to pick her up and carry her a little ways back the way she’d come running.

“Emma, Emma sweetie, what happened? Where’s Solas?”

“He- He’s-  It’s t-too early! I don’ wanna lose my eyebrows!” She buried her face in his chest, vaguely aware she was hysterical but too upset to care. Why? She knew, she knew everything, he didn’t have to- Why would he- a fresh round of sobs tore through her chest. “I'm s-so stupid!” He leaves. He always leaves, why'd she think she could change that?

“What’s too early?” He asked gently, patiently.

She heard footsteps running towards them and Solas’ aura brush against hers in outright fear. She pulled away from it and felt a stab of hurt grief from him. 

“What did you do?” Damon’s voice was tense and angry.

“I did nothing. She took a look at our surroundings and ran off in tears.” Solas’ voice sounded scared and confused.

“EmTi, sweetie, what’s going on?” Damon set her down on her feet and put his hands on her shoulders so he could see her face. 

“I’m s-s’posed to have ano-nother year!” Her chest hurt, it felt like she was slowly being ripped apart. She should have never let herself get close to him. She knew, damnit, and she did it anyway.

“Another year of what?” He asked patiently. 

She couldn’t answer, her tears closing up her throat, and sobs tearing through her chest, so she just pointed shakily at Solas, unable to look directly at him. 

“Me? Another year of me? What do you mean?” Solas sounded near frantic. She heard him take another step towards her but Damon held out an arm in a silent command to stop. 

“You’re not-” She swiped at her eyes and tried to talk through her crying. It just hurt so much! God, why’d she do this to herself? “You’re not s-s’posed t’ take m-me there for ‘nother year.”

“Emma, what-” She heard Damon inhale sharply. “Oh shit, tha’s what he did? He leaves in the game?”

She nodded and felt Solas’ aura press against hers desperately. She pushed it away and he stepped back and pressed a hand to his chest as if in pain.

“E-every time.” She shook her head and fell against Damon. “But ’s too soon!”

“You thought… You believe I would leave you? In a year?” Solas ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Pala!”

“Emma, short sentences. What happens?” Damon made her step back and put a hand on her face to make her look at him. 

“After- He’d take me- the- to the wyvern cavern. He’d say I was beautiful and then-” Her aura clenched tightly and she hugged herself. “And then he’d break up with me.” She shut her eyes against the hot tears. “Six more months before- before he left for good.”

Damon looked at Solas sharply but his voice stayed gentle. “Was that what you were doing?”

Solas shook his head, his aura still trying to reach hers and feeling confused. “I was trying…” he paused, his hand going to clench something in his pocket before continuing. “I was trying to take her to a place of beauty to tell her of… of the truth.”

“I already know the truth about you!” Her voice cracked at the too familiar words. He knew she knew of him! There was no need for him to leave.

“Emma’lath,” Solas reached out and touched her shoulder. Damon didn't stop him. “The truth of what I did to you!” 

“Oh, my gods. The pair of you are so fucking dramatic.” Damon suddenly let his head drop backwards in exasperation and Emma looked up at him in shock. 

“Emma, when Solas unlocked your magic he kinda used a magical marriage ritual he didn’t expect you to be able to do, and now you two are accidentally half married.”

“That-” Solas sighed but he still sounded tense. “Was not how I was going to say it.”

Emma blinked, her mind not fully able to process that. “W-what?” Married?

Damon turned her around by her shoulders so she had to face Solas and nudged her forwards. “Congrats, you’re magically engaged. Talk with real words for fuck’s sake.” 

What? Engaged?

Solas closed his eyes and shook his head. “Eloquent as ever.” 

What?! 

Damon snorted and shoved her forwards again. “You gonna figure this out, or do I need to mediate some more?”

Solas looked at her, his eyes and aura pleading, but he was leaving it up to her. Emma looked between them, still in shock. This didn't make any sense.

“Well?” Damon asked her. “If you need, I can make my voice squeaky and pretend to be you.” 

“I-” she swallowed. Her voice sounded hoarse. “We n-need to talk?” Was that a question? 

“With words? Arranged into sentences?” He eyed her sternly before nodding at Solas and letting her go. He walked off towards the camp, leaving her alone with Solas. 

Solas moved to take both of her hands in his. She didn't try and fight him. Her mind still struggling to process what had just happened. He kept his aura back, not reaching, but it was still present.

“Emma.” Solas’ voice was soft as he rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles. “I wasn't trying to leave you.” He pulled her a little ways to the side to make her sit on a nearby rock. 

“W-what?” Emma felt her heart shudder with hope. He wasn't?

“Did you truly think that I would leave you after a mere year?” At her nod he inhaled shakily. “Then why would you…?” He trailed off and looked at their hands.

“I’d get a year. It… a year is better than nothing.” She whispered. 

Solas shook his head and moved to sit next to her, still holding tightly to her hands as if he was afraid she’d run again. “I tried to tell you, several times, but people or things interrupted.” He dropped his head and closed his eyes briefly before looking back up at her. “Our auras… when I helped you break the block on your magic, I used a spell. It would have been harmless if…” he sighed, shaking his head. “It… tied our auras together.”

Emma stared at him, wide eyed. “But every mage has an aura… I can feel them.”

Solas released one of her hands and brought his hand to her cheek, stroking it softly. “Yes, but they can not communicate through them as we do. We are constantly aware of each other. Your magic is instinctual. The spell I used was one my people used when they found their sa’lath, their one love.”

Emma exhaled shakily, was he saying-?

“I believed the desire and love I had for you would not be returned, but when your magic broke free, it tried to complete the spell.” He smiled softly, “It took all of my resolve to pull away… but it had already begun to bind our aura’s together.”

She had- Oh God! “I'm sorry! I didn't-”

“Hush, Emma’lath!” Solas’ hands tightened on hers and he chuckled at her shocked expression. “I know. I did not ask you here to break that bind.” He smiled at her gently. “I wanted to complete it… if you are willing?”

She couldn't breathe. He wasn't going to leave her. He wanted to-to marry her? “Are you-?”

Solas moved and covered her mouth with his, his aura moving to tentatively press against where hers was curled away, radiating with sincerity, love, and longing, and… and pleading for her to accept. He pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. “I want you.” His voice came in a whisper of breath against her face. 

Emma felt her aura reach for his as she let it unfurl itself from her chest, it felt right, natural. His responded and eagerly wrapped itself around hers. His shoulders relaxed and he breathed a relieved breath as if the separation of it had nearly broken him. 

“But I'm-” Human? Mortal? An idiot? All could be applied.

“You are perfect.” His hand at her cheek moved to the back of her neck to gently pull her lips to his again. “Ma’lath. Ma’vhenan. Ma’asha. Ma’sa’lath.” He punctuated every endearment with a kiss before sliding down to kneel on the ground in front of her. “Dirtha’ma ane’ma? Vas i’em?”  _ Say you are mine? Bond with me?    _

Solas was right there. In front of her. Kneeling. Asking. Her heart pounded in her chest as he reached into his pocket and pulled out two rings that looked like twisting silver vines. They shimmered and sang with magic, promise, protection, and completion. “Solas.” His name came out in a whisper, her voice not seeming able to respond.

“Our worlds have similar customs.” He said with a small smile, his aura vibrating nervously. 

Emma closed her eyes. He wasn't going to leave her. He wanted her. He wanted to marry, to bond with her. And she wanted, “Vin!” She opened her eyes to see him staring at her, his mouth parted in a silent question. “Vin, Solas. Vas i’em.”  _ Yes, Solas. Bond with me.   _

It was as if a dam had burst. Solas stood and pulled her up into his arms, his breaths coming raggedly and his aura flooding in relief and joy, as he captured her lips, exploring and claiming them like a man starved. When he pulled back she was left breathless. “Are you certain? You know of my plans… this world… I cannot-” He asked, his fingers twisting into her hair desperately even as his voice sounded unsure.

She nodded and let her aura curl around his in a caress, making him tremble slightly and close his eyes as he pressed his forehead to hers. Her mind flashed to the first time they were in the woods alone together. The fear she had felt then was completely absent. “Fen’heral, Ar eolasa ma. Ar ame’nadas.” _I know you, Fen’Harel. I am certain._

His breath shuddered at her words. “Mah ma’en.”  _ So you do.  _ He lifted her left hand and slid the smaller of the rings onto her finger, before pulling it up to press his lips to it. It was a perfect fit and the magic within hummed against her skin.

He offered the other ring to her, holding it for her to see with subtly shaking hands. It was slightly larger than the one on her hand, but similar in design. She took it from his fingers, trying not to let it fall as her own hands shook. The ring slid against his skin and flared brightly once it was settled on his finger. Her ring flared as well, singing of promise and longing for completion.

Solas pulled her against him gently and claimed her mouth in a slow kiss. She felt him press against her consciousness and willingly opened to let him in. Solas’ magic rushed through her and hers through him and then they were them, a bright, ecstatic tangle of magic and bodies so closely wound together they could not tell where one began and they ended. 

It was beautiful, perfect, a song that was theirs and theirs alone, rising and dancing until it flared in a blissful crescendo. Emma came back to herself on the ground with Solas still over her, holding her close with his face buried in the crook of her neck. She could feel his aura returning to himself and hers to herself, but there was no feeling of absence this time. She could still feel  _ him _ , the cool song of his magic, resting in her chest amidst her own aura. She brushed against it curiously and Solas shuddered against her. 

“Ma’lan, Ar'an ane gaelathe.”  _ My Bonded, we are complete. _

She let out a giddy, ecstatic laugh and kissed him. She could feel their connection now, bright and strong and as if a piece of themselves lived in the other. 

He chuckled and rolled so that she was resting on his bare chest. She laid there and listened to his heart, contentment radiating through their bond, as he ran his fingers through her hair. “This was not the place I had intended but I can not find it in myself to lament it.”

“I'm sorry. I ruined whatever you had planned.” Emma looked up at him. “I should have trusted you.” 

She felt him stroke her aura, sending a rush of pleasure down her spine. She moaned and dropped her forehead to his chest. Solas smiled at her reaction. “If you did not trust me, this…” he stroked her aura again and she shivered against him. “would not be possible.” 

That wasn't fair. She felt for his aura in her chest and tried to replicate what he was doing, gently at first. His arms tightened their hold on her slightly and she knew she was close. “Emma’lath...” His voice held a note of warning. She smiled up at him innocently, than slid her aura along his, stroking until he was shaking and his fingers dug desperately into her arms as he arched slightly beneath her. “Emma.” He moaned her name and shut his eyes tightly. “Enough... Please.”

She relented and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “Alright, but I will be having fun with that later.”

He laughed, a bit breathlessly, and sat up, moving her with him. “Ma’elvar’asha.” He glanced at their surroundings and made a wry face. “We should dress and return to camp before they come looking for us again.” 

“Oh shoot!” She scrambled to find her clothes in the darkness. If she had been searching for Damon, that meant his hand had started glowing, probably right in front of everyone.

“What is it?” Solas handed her shirt to her.

“I forgot to tell you, but if I try to find Damon through our pact, his hand starts glowing and he can follow it to me.”

He paused in the middle of pulling his pants on and blinked at her. “That… would explain how he found you so unerringly.”

“Yeah, but he started glowing.” She pulled on her shirt and frowned when some grass fell out of her sleeve and then realization hit her. “Oh my god, they’re gonna know. They’re never going to shut up!” 

Solas chuckled and pulled her against him. “Let them.” He kissed her before tugging his shirt on over his head. He picked up his jaw bone necklace from where it had been dropped and slipped it over her head with a smirk.

Emma flushed. He wanted them to know exactly what happened. “You're a bit of an ass, you know that?”

“It has been pointed out to me.” He grinned as his aura wrapped around hers with satisfied humor. It was stronger now, emotions clearer, sharper, and easier to read. “Come, they will worry.” He took up her hand and began leading her back in the direction of the camp. 

When they neared it, Emma could see most of the group gathered around one person, who turned out to be Damon as they got closer. He was sitting with a longsuffering expression as Dorian held his left hand and poked at it with a curious expression. She hoped that maybe she and Solas could sneak by to their tent without being noticed, but Bull looked up and grinned before calling out.

“Nice walk?”

Damon looked up and glanced over them, eyes dropping to both of their hands, before he jumped up and rushed to them. They didn’t have a chance to react before he had grabbed both of them in a rib crushing hug. She felt Solas’ aura flare in equal parts amusement and shock as Damon laughed. “Holy fuck guys! I’m so fuckin’ happy for you!” 

He let them go and Emma flushed as she realized that everyone was staring at them. Dorian glanced between them. “As entertaining as Emma’s overtly public love life is, congratulations by the way, Is anyone else curious why our dear Inquisitor started glowing and took off like a nug with its tail on fire?”

Emma winced. “Yeah... sorry about that.”

Damon grimaced. “I had to let Dorian play with my hand so he didn’t run after you two to see what you were doin’ that had y’all glowing bright enough to see from here.” 

“I don’t know why he got to ‘play’ with your hand and I just got threatened with a knife up my ass.” Bull grumbled. 

Oh. My. God!

“I was not ‘playing’!” Dorian sniffed indignantly. 

“Do not feel bad, The Iron Bull, I too was offered a knife in certain places if I went searching.” Zevran grinned wickedly at them. “Whatever it was the pair of you were doing, it seems to have left grass in your hair, la mia stella.” 

She flushed and resisted the urge to brush out her hair. Solas, however, chuckled and pulled the blade from her hair and tucked it into his pocket as if it was a trophy, the ass.

Cass’ eyes danced between her and Solas’ hands excitedly. Emma would bet she was internally screaming over it but didn’t want to show the romantic side of her in front of the others. “They are… beautiful.” She said quietly but earnestly.

“Yeah yeah, they bumped bits, why’d he get all glowy? I thought that was Weirdy’s stick?” Sera rolled her eyes and pointed at Damon. “It was creepy.”

Damon sighed and glanced at her questioningly before shrugging. It was up to her what to tell them. 

Emma looked around to see everyone looking at her expectantly. Solas’ moved to stand behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his chin on her shoulder as his aura sent her an encouraging impression. Well, here goes nothing. “When we were kids, Damon and I made a promise to always be there for each other. We didn't know I was a mage… so when my magic came in, it just…” she shrugged. “I kind of… panicked for a minute and reached for help?” 

Dorian blinked at her. “That… explains nothing.” 

Damon huffed in amusement. “I thought you were a quick learner?”

“It is a bond.” Solas supplied, saving her from trying to explain more. “A bond as unique as the pair of them, born of friendship and love and enhanced by her magic.”

Hawke elbowed Varric when he whipped out his notebook. “Not the time.” She hissed, then smiled at Emma. “You two feel different.”

Damon’s eyebrows flew up and he made a slight fist pump. “I knew it.” He gave Bull a smug look and held out his hand. “Pay up!”

Bull grimaced but dug out a silver and tossed it at Damon, who caught it with a triumphant expression. Blackwall glanced at them curiously. “Knew what?” 

Emma giggled and Solas shook his head in amusement. “Hawke’s secretly a mage.”

Hawke rolled her eyes. “A little louder, they didn't hear you in Orlais. How’d you guess anyway, Damon?”

“Thin slicing.” 

Varric put up both hands pleadingly. “Please don’t ask what that is, Hawke. I don’t want to know.” 


	47. Chapter 47

That impulsive kiss after they had defeated the dragon had changed things between him and Cass. When he had snuck into her tent as he did pretty much every night now, she had hesitated for a brief second before greeting him with a soft kiss. He had eagerly returned it, reaching out to pull her closer, and it had quickly evolved into a wonderfully heated make out session. He was breathless by the time she pulled away to look at him, her hands still resting on either side of his neck.

“As wonderful as this is, you need to sleep while you can.” She whispered. 

He made a face and she laughed quietly. “I dunno, I think this is better than sleep.” He pressed another kiss to the corner of her mouth.

She smiled and shook her head, pushing his head gently. “Sleep.”

He followed the pressure of her hand easily and she made a quiet noise in her throat. He smiled at her fondly as he laid down. “As you wish.” 

She studied him curiously for a moment before shaking her head and laying down next to him, allowing him to curl around her with an arm over her waist. “You are an odd man.”

“Hmm?” 

“I have seen you face down dragons, demons, and even monarchs without thought of giving in, but yet you move at the lightest of my touches.” She paused and laid her arm across his. “You command as naturally as you breathe, but I need to simply say a word and you bend to my will. It is… odd. Flattering, but odd.” 

He huffed and pressed his face to her hair to hide his slightly embarrassed but amused smile. “A strong man ain’t strong if he can’t bend. He’s jus’ brittle.” 

She made a thoughtful noise and patted his arm. “Good night, Damon.”

“Night, Cass.” He closed his eyes and let himself relax into the comfort of having her right next to him. 

He was awake before the sun, as he had been since they had started out on this trip, but he felt rested and happy. He pressed a kiss to Cass’ forehead and slipped out of her tent and back to his own. He knew that Bull knew and a few of the scouts had seen him several times already, but as long as he stayed discreet they kept the rumors discreet. Ish. 

He dug through his pack and found the ball of pink wool he had traded a lesson in how to throw a punch for with a young girl in New Crestwood. He hadn’t really wanted the wool at the time, but had seen the kid was too proud to let him teach her for free. Now though, he was glad he had it. He had teased Emma about paying him for a nug sweater, but really, he wanted to see Leliana’s face when she gave her a nug in a pink sweater. He bet her skillful mask slipped for a minute. Anyway, the spymaster had the air of someone who had been dragged through hell and back and if she liked nugs, then she should get a nug in a soft pink sweater. Pink and maybe with a flower on it. He had a bit of white wool too.

He knitted and let the sun rise all the way before he left his tent to start cooking, staying quiet so the others could sleep late. It had been an eventful night last night and he wanted them to get some rest before they headed for the Fallowmire. Fallowmire. Blech, he bet it was either a swamp or bog and that meant chronically damp boots. He roped one of the scouts into helping him prepare breakfast and was listening to the man talk about his home when Varric stumbled out of his tent. He made his way towards the fire and the scout, Jacobs, abruptly saluted and left. Damon grimaced and shoved the tea kettle towards Varric. 

“You chased off my help.”

“I’ll make it up to you.” Varric chuckled and poured himself a mug of tea. He glanced around and seemed to notice they were alone. “Hey, Blot. I had a question.” 

“Yeah?” Damon didn’t look up from where he was mixing pancake batter until Varric had been silent for a moment too long. He looked up to find Varric frowning at him thoughtfully. “What?”

“I know you-” He sighed. “Why’d you pair Emma and Hawke back when we fought the wyverns?”

Damon stopped mixing long enough to give Varric his full attention. “Emma has the strongest shield.”

Varric looked slightly startled. “Really? That’s why?”

“Yeah. She had the strongest shield and I knew she would make sure nothing got near Hawke.”

“So you were protecting her.” He frowned skeptically. “Why?”

“Hawke’s important to you, but not as close to the other mages. They might drop a shield to save their aura or whatever, but Emma wouldn’t.” He hesitated. “I didn’t think they’d have a chance to talk after. I’m sorry.” 

“Why?” Varric looked more confused than skeptical now.

“Cuz you obviously care about her if you’re willing to stand up to Cassandra about ‘er, an’ she’s got the look of someone who ain’t had much experience getting a shield between her an’ shit.”

Varric sighed ruefully. “No, she doesn’t. I guess, thank you then. For looking out for her. You might be downright creepy at times, but you’re a good guy.” 

“No problem, man. Now, you get to help me make enough pancakes for two dozen people since you chased away my help.”

Varric laughed good naturedly. “Fair enough.” 

The smell of pancakes drew the rest of the group out of their tents, Cassandra coming over to press a kiss to the side of his face. He flipped off Zevran when he cat called them and Cass’ face turned red, but he kept grinning at how awesome she was. Emma and Solas were last to make their way out and they walked hand in hand, seemingly lost in their mental conversations. Cute. 

The breakfast conversation was full of playful banter and pointed teasing at the way Emma and Solas were now impossibly more affectionate than before. They ate and packed up the camp and set out on the road to the Fallowmire. Hawke elected to keep travelling with them instead of heading straight to the Western Approach after Loghain, saying the company was more interesting this way. Emma gave him the basic rundown of what to expect when they got there and he grimaced at the thought of dealing with yet more walking corpses. 

He kept his hands busy by knitting as he rode, smirking when Emma raised her eyebrows at him. The nug was currently in a cage that hung from the side of Caramel’s saddle, happily munching on the stale biscuits Emma had slipped it.

“What’s its name?” Sera asked as she pulled her all breed, which she had named ‘Lady Knickers’, closer to peer at the bald pink thing. 

“Don't know, Leliana's gonna have to name him.” 

Varric shook his head. “You’re really going to give that thing to the Nightingale?” 

Damon laughed. “C’mon, shortstack. You should know by now that people like odd things. Can’t judge a book by it’s cover.” 

Varric grinned at Cassandra. “Yes, there’s no accounting for some people’s taste.” 

Damon narrowed his eyes at the dwarf before realizing he was insulting him and not her. “I’m a downright catch!” He said in playful offense. 

“A catch best thrown back as soon as it was out of the water.” Varric chuckled.

Emma snorted, “This coming from the man who thinks chest hair is an attractive trait.”

“I think it's because he can't grow a beard.” Blackwall huffed.

Damon grinned at her. “Sounds about right. But not everyone is into scrawny hipsters, EmTi.” 

“He’s not scrawny.” Emma mumbled defensively, flushing pink. 

Solas chuckled from his horse. “I do not know whether I should be appreciative that you do not favor me, or insulted that I am somehow less appealing to you than the other ‘scrawny hipster’ in our company.” He said with a pointed glance at Zevran, who was listening in with a delighted expression. 

Emma groaned and dropped her head into her hands. “Please don't!”

“Oh no, Honey ain’t a hipster, he’s lean sex on a stick.” Damon cackled when Cassandra punched him sharply but playfully. 

“Well, that is delightful to hear.” Zevran practically purred, earning another groan from Emma.

"So, lady Herald. It seems you have a ‘type’. If I may ask, have you seen if your elves will learn to play nice with each other so you all can... play nice together?" Dorian asked with a smirk. 

Solas made an indignant noise but Zevran laughed, "Yes! I also wish to know if we will all get to play nice! That sounds like a very pleasant event."

Emma gaped at Dorian, her face turning bright red as she apparently realized what he was implying. Her eyes flashed slightly as she hissed. "Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family!” She pointed at him then at Bull. “Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!"

Dorian stared at her with wide eyes, only relaxing when Damon burst into hysterical giggles at her angry quoting Mulan. “He is not my-”

Bull suddenly burst into loud laughter. “Have to say it, Lil’bit, Solas is good for you.”

"Oh my gods, Emma!" Damon couldn’t catch his breath from laughing. “Mulan? Really?”

Dorian smirked. "Is that a yes then?"

"No!" Emma folded her arms and glared at Damon. “Shut up! Mu’shu is awesome and that was perfect!”

“Moo-shoe?” Sera sounded out. “What kinda name it that?”

“The name of a great and powerful dragon! Who… happens to be about the size of your arm.” Damon snickered. 

“Lizard.” Emma chuckled.

“Dragon… dra-gon! Not lizard.” Damon scowled playfully. 

“Ah, this is from one of your stories, is it not?” Cassandra said suddenly. 

“Actually one o’ mine. I actually know this one better than she does.” Damon shrugged. “Catch me after a few drinks an’ I’ll tell it, complete with the dragon voice and singin’.” 

“I’ll be holding you to that.” Blackwall said.

They stopped the horses for lunch near a stream so the horses could be watered and rest while they ate. They didn't have time to build a fire to cook so it was just jerky, hardtack, and apples.

Damon glanced up from his knitting when he noticed Solas stand and take Emma’s hand, pulling her over to a clear area nearby. “I believe we should teach you how to use barriers, Emma’lath. It should not drain you as much as your ‘shields’.”

Damon kept an ear open, interested but pretending to focus on his stitching. He listened as Solas gave a detailed explanation of what the barrier spell was, with added comments from Dorian that seemed to irritate the dude, and Emma seemed to be following along, asking questions and frowning thoughtfully. But when it came to actually casting it, she just… couldn’t. 

“No, Emma’lath, that is your shield spell simply in a different shape.” Solas sounded amused. 

“Monkey see, monkey do.” Damon said loud enough for Emma to hear. Solas glanced at him curiously and Emma brightened. 

“Oh! Yeah, could you cast a barrier and let me study it?” Emma turned hopeful eyes onto Solas. “You too, Dorian, so I have a comparison sample?”

Damon thought he saw Varric give him a considering glance but it was too quick to be sure. Solas and Dorian humored Emma and cast their barrier spells on themselves. Emma tilted her head and stared at them for a long moment before she closed her eyes and made a quiet humming noise as if trying to find the right pitch. She nodded, “Yeah, I think…” She flicked her hand and the familiar blue shimmer rippled over her, and then immediately disappeared when she gasped. “Nope, can’t breathe.”

Solas chuckled. “Yes, that is a common mistake. The barrier must be breathable, you must allow air through.”

“But if air can get through other things can get through! Magical energy is a bit less definable than oxygen!” Emma stomped her foot slightly in frustration.

Solas and her went around the technical debate table again but Damon could see she just wasn’t getting it. Sometimes her brain got stuck on a certain idea of how something had to work. From what he was understanding though...

“Eggshells, Emma.” He reconsidered when he remembered she’d need to be able to move as well. “Eggshells in vinegar.” 

Her face abruptly blanked as she processed that and then brightened. “Oh!” 

Her brow furrowed in thought and then she was covered in a solid blue shimmer again. She moved her arms and inhaled and looked at Solas. “Did I do it right this time?”

Solas looked over at him with an odd expression before he nodded. “Yes, it is perfect.”

Dorian reached out and tapped Emma with the end of his staff. There was a light spark and he hummed. “It is very strong.”

Solas frowned and signed at Damon. “How did you condense all of that theory into three words?” 

He shrugged and held up his knitting to indicate he couldn’t answer, his hands were full. Emma rolled her eyes at him and continued casting. She had a barrier simultaneously cast over everyone in their group before Solas called the lesson to a end. “That is sufficient.” He pulled her towards him to place a kiss to her forehead. “Well done.” Emma beamed up at him, her eyes shimmering slightly. 

Cass moved to sit next to him holding a waterskin, a soft smile on her lips as she watched them. “They are happy together.”

“Yeah. Happiest I seen her in a long time.” He leaned over slightly and bumped her shoulder with his. Zevran was watching, obviously waiting for a chance to make a dirty joke and he wasn’t going to give it to him. 

Cass offered the waterskin to Emma as Solas lead her back toward the group. “You are learning quickly.”

Emma took the waterskin gratefully. “Thank you!” She smiled before taking several swallows from it. “It's easier than I remembered in the Hinterlands.” 

Cass laughed then glanced at Emma’s hand, suddenly looking shy. “May I?” Damon saw Emma's eyes soften slightly as she nodded and held out her hand so Cassandra could see the ring. “It is beautiful.” She sighed quietly.

Damon studied the ring too. It really was pretty, right up Emma’s style too. He glanced up at a subtly proud looking Solas. “You did good.” 

Solas dipped his head in thanks as he moved behind Emma and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Silver is easy to shape through the use on magic but finding the right design to fit the person requires more... effort.” He ended the sentence by dropping a kiss to Emma’s shoulder, smirking slightly when she shivered.

“Holy shit, man! You actually made them yourself.” Damon grinned at Emma’s wide eyed look at Solas. She didn’t know he had made them. He was gonna have to step up his game with Cass.

“You?” Emma whispered, causing Solas to chuckle.

“Yes.” He kissed her temple. “I hope it is to your liking.” By his wide smile, Damon knew he was already aware of her answer.

They were on the road twenty minutes later. Emma had commandeered a sheet of paper and Varric's writing charcoal and was scribbling things down as they rode. Damon would bet it was things that need to be done in the mire. Caramel was following the horse in front so she didn't have to pay attention to leading the mare.

“So, Solas.” Blackwall said as he moved his horse closer to the mage, who raised an eyebrow at him in question. “Sera and I were just talking about you. We need you to settle a question for us.”

Emma’s head shot up and she looked over at Blackwall with an expression equal parts delight and mortification. Damon listened with interest. This should be fun if Emma was already looking like that.

Solas, for his part, just sighed. “Sera’s involved? So this question will be offensive.”

“Yes. Probably. Sorry.” Blackwall absolutely did not look sorry. “You make friends with spirits in the Fade. So... um, are there any that are more than just friends? If you know what I mean?” He actually wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oh, for… really!?” Solas gave him an incredulous look before glancing narrowly at a red-faced and snickering Emma.

Damon himself was trying to hide his own laughter, as was the rest of the group. Bless Sera and Blackwall for being themselves. This was great. 

**“** Look, it's a natural thing to be curious about!”

“For a twelve-year-old!” Solas actually looked embarrassed by the question and that made the whole conversation so much better.

“It's a simple yes or no question!”

“Nothing about the Fade or spirits is simple, especially not that.” Solas was trying to pull back into his unaffected, scholarly persona, but he wasn’t quite managing it. 

“Aha! So you do  _ have _ experience in these matters!” Blackwall said delightedly. 

Emma let out a wheeze of a laugh and Solas actually glared at her a little. “I did not say that.”

“How does Lady Emma feel about your  _ experience _ ?”

Emma somehow managed to pull her badly suppressed laughter under control long enough to make a joke Damon never thought she’d make in his lifetime. “I have met one of his ‘friends’. I found her excellent company.”

Solas gaped at her before faintly exclaiming. “Ass!” 

Blackwall shook his head, laughing. “Now who’s twelve?” 

Sera started cackling madly from behind them. Damon grinned wickedly as an idea hit him. “Hey, Solas, everyone's mind touches the Fade when they’re sleepin’ to some extent, right?”

Solas cocked his head before a slow smile pulled at his lips as he guessed where Damon was going with it. “To an extent, only mages are aware of it, however.”

“Soooo…” He drew the word out as if deep in thought. “What if you're havin’ a good dream, like a ‘gooood’ dream? That could be a spirit right?”

Solas chuckled. “Spirits of desire have been known to be drawn to and act out some of our most primal desires, yes.” Emma started giggling.

Damon glanced between Blackwall and Sera, who both looked a bit pale. “So, it’s not too far off to assume everyone here has ‘tangled’ with a desire spirit?”

Sera covered her ears and started humming really loudly and off tune. Half the group looked disturbed and the other half looked like they might explode from trying not to laugh out loud.

“C’mon, guys! I was jus’ helpin’ you get answers to your question.” He laughed. 

Emma started laughing harder and clutched her side before pulling on Caramel’s reins. “I need to stop, guys. You’re makin’ me laugh too hard, I gotta stop.”

Damon chuckled as she jumped down and headed for the nearest bush. It had definitely been an interesting conversation. 

  
  
  


Emma hated the fallowmire. It was a grim and frustrating map in the game, but here, in real life, it was wet and cold and smelled bad. Oh! And while stepping directly into the water would indeed summon corpses, so would sneezing or any other loud noise. Such as letting out a short scream when your boot gets stuck in the mud and you trip and start to fall. Fun. The mud was so thick that they had to leave the horses back a mile or so with some scouts and head on foot the rest of the way.

Damon was looking completely grumpy ten minutes in, and she bet it had to do with the fact that he sunk further into the mud than she did due to his bulk. He and Bull had to do a ridiculously high kneed walk to pull their feet out of the mud everytime they had to leave the path. It would be funny if it didn’t mean that they basically were confined in a fight. They worked with it well enough, but the rogues and mages had to do more of the work. Emma got a lot of practice in with her barrier spells. She hadn’t quite learned to do two spells at the same time though, so she was stuck as support with her regular arrows. 

She ended up just keeping her bow in her hand as they travelled to save that split second it took for her to unsling it, and she was wearing the daggers that Cullen had given to her. With the dim, stormy light, and the corpses rising practically under their feet at times, she wanted to be prepared to fight close quarters.

They reached Scout Harding’s camp and Emma saw Hawke give her a sympathetic glance when the Scout briefed them on the missing people. Hawke still winced when her eyes lit up, but she was actually friendly and… protective? Emma wasn’t sure why, but she was relieved Hawke didn’t seem to hate her anymore. 

They had a brief rest to put their stuff under something dry-ish and to eat, and then they were off, following the remnants of the trail towards the fortress. It smelled. Everything was damp and cold. And her boots had mud in them.

At least she didn't have to collect flesh samples from the dead to determine the what exactly the plague was. Harding already had some scouts take care of that and they were already on their way back to Skyhold. Emma had her suspicions that is was a strain of cholera and directed the scouts to boil any water they used and wash their hands thoroughly before eating anything. 

As they walked towards the first trail marker, she noticed that Damon’s steps were weird. She frowned as she looked at him. Stomp. Stomp. And then he’d drag his foot. Stomp. Stomp. Drag. 

She let out an abrupt but subdued laugh and shook her head as she realized what he was doing. “Queen? Here?” 

He grinned and did the pattern again before singing, quietly so they didn’t draw too much attention. “Buddy, you’re a boy, make a big noise, playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday.” 

She rolled her eyes but finished the verse. It was Queen, you had to. “You got mud on your face, you big disgrace, kickin’ your can all over the place, singing,”

She did the step pattern with him, feeling her face heat up as the others turned to look at them in amusement as they quietly did the chorus. “We will, we will rock you.” 

Damon looked less miserable though, so she didn’t mind, especially since he seemed content with just the one verse, though every few steps he’d do the pattern again.

“What was that? Some sort of marching song?” Blackwall asked.

Damon grinned. “It’s a battle song from a god.”

“Queen was not a god!” Emma glared at him. He was not going to start a cult!

“Queen is the god of music! I will fight you on this!”

She opened her mouth to argue but he started ticking points off on his fingers.

“You can instantly recognize his songs no matter in what form,” He did the step pattern again, “Nobody can stop playing his rhapsody once it’s been started, everyone loves him when they’ve heard him, and all of his songs are epic. God. Of. Music.” 

She threw her hands up in the air, enjoying their age old argument. “He was a very talented man, but not a god.”

“God.” 

Hawke laughed. “I want to hear the whole song for this god Queen.” 

“The songs were given to us by Queen himself.” Damon laughed. “And I might teach We Will Rock You to the soldiers. It’s great for getting your blood going.”

Emma turned to walk backwards and glare at him. “You wouldn’t.”

He bared his teeth in a grin and she knew, he absolutely would. She turned her eyes heavenward in exasperation and turned back to face the path. Maybe Cullen would talk him out of it. Quiet banter sprang up as they walked and she realized that she hadn’t noticed how silent and grim the group had been before. 

When they reached the first trail marker and Solas lit the veil fire torch, Emma almost stumbled at the song of it. It sounded sad, like a half complete melody. But she didn’t have the chance to listen before a terror and it’s army of corpses came lurching out of the water. The warriors and ‘daggers’ formed a loose ring around the center, trying to beat back any of the corpses that made it to the solid ground they had to stay on, while the mages and ‘arrows’ picked off the terror from a distance. Damon and Bull looked horribly frustrated about having to stay back instead of wading into the middle of the fray like they prefered. 

The demon was defeated, Emma memorized the veilfire rune, earning her a pleased look from Solas, and then they were off again, trudging down the badly defined path. By the time they found and dealt with the second trail marker, it was dark and they were all feeling frustrated and very, very wet. Damon glanced at the sky before rolling his shoulders and shaking his head. 

“Shit. We gotta break for the night. Ain’t none o’ us gonna have our heads straight for fightin’ like this.” 

Bull looked like he wanted to argue but knew Damon was right. 

Emma glanced around, trying to remember the layout of the map, and pointed south east. “There’s enough stable ground that way to make a camp. Two more markers and two rifts before we reach the Avaar. We’ll meet the Skywatcher at the first rift and can possibly recruit him after we find our scouts.” 

“Still creepy how you do that, but useful. Beats searching though this shite tryin’ to find a place to sleep.” Sera sighed. 

They found the place to camp, nicely ringed by stones for a bit of defensibility, and set up. It was raining too hard for a fire so they were back on travel rations and Emma went to her tent damp and cold. She hadn’t pulled watch tonight so she curled up around Solas for a bit of warmth and tried to focus on the fact that they should be out of here in just a couple days at most. He did a good job of making her forget. 

When morning came, which was just as miserable as last night had been, Solas had her empty out her pack so he could go through and magically dry her items before they were permanently damaged. After the third thing, she’d figured out how to do it herself and he moved to dry his own items. Suddenly, his aura flared with surprise and confusion and she looked over to find him holding a book on the fade.

“How did this get in here? I could not find it to pack.”

“That the one you were under the bed looking for at Skyhold?” She asked curiously. 

He nodded and his brow furrowed. “It was on my desk and now it is here.” He shook his head and tucked the dried book into his pack, seemingly losing interest in the subject, but she could feel his determination to solve the mystery through his aura. She finished drying her things and dressed. She could feel the cold through the tent canvas and had to take a bracing breath before she exited. 

She gritted her teeth as she buckled on her daggers and stomped towards where Damon was talking quietly with a scout. She wanted to get this over with. Damon suddenly looked at her and his eyes widened at the same time she felt a barest sense of movement behind her. Her aura flared and she instinctively spun around and lashed out with her bow, drawing a dagger in her off hand as she moved. 

Her bow hit a hand that had flashed upwards to protect the attacker’s face, and a dagger dropped from the stung limb. She followed her spin through with a flaming dagger strike towards their center of mass, and it was barely deflected by their other dagger. She realized it was Zevran and scowled at him, bringing her dagger up defensively and keeping a loose grip on her bow so she could swing it again if she needed to. 

“What was that for?!” She let the flames die from her dagger. 

He grinned at her and shook out the hand her bow had connected with. “Training, la mia stella. One must be prepared for the unexpected.” 

She sighed. “Zev, please don’t do that when I have my bow. Last time I hit something with it like that, it exploded. It could’ve killed you.” 

His eyes dropped to her bow for a brief instant and she stepped forward and touched his neck with the point of her dagger in one quick movement. He laughed and stepped back to give her a bow. “You are a marvel.”

She cracked a smile at his praise. “Thank you. But seriously, not when I’m holding the bow. I would be upset if you exploded.” 

“Ah, a terrible way to die, but not to end the evening.” He smirked at the last bit and Emma gave up on trying to avoid giving him opportunities for innuendo. 

Suddenly Solas was there, his arms curling around her waist from behind as he scowled at the Antivan over her shoulder. “Whereas being turned to stone is a terrible either way.” 

Emma gaped at him. He just… 

Zevran smiled widely and raised his hands, “There is no danger, my friend. Her heart is taken, she would not consider me.” 

“If y’all are done planning your threesome, we gotta get on the road.” Damon called over, just loud enough to be heard and hopefully not loud enough to draw up the dead. 

Emma glared at him, at least she wasn't blushing anymore,.and marched over. “What’s for breakfast?”

Damon tossed her a small bag with something that looked vaguely like a granola bar and some jerky. “Got a lot of ground to cover, I wanna get out of this swamp as soon as possible.”

Emma nodded, a bit disappointed it wasn't going to be a hot meal, but it was understandable. She was tempted to burn her clothes after all this was over, Josie wouldn't be too upset with her would she?

The rift was directly on their path to the next marker and Emma pointed out the hulking man guarding it to Damon. Damon talked to him, she opened the rift, they all fought the bloody demons, and then she closed the rift. Sounded so easy like that in her head. She managed to show off that handy new skill of separating demons from the fade to injure them though, and could feel Solas’ magic mapping out the trick curiously. She still found herself surprised when the mark didn’t hurt when she closed the rift. She had gotten so used to it being painful it felt weird that it wasn’t now.  

They found the next marker easily, but this one had two terrors instead of one. Once again her bow saved her from a nasty blow when the last one of them tore through the ground and knocked her feet out from under her when she was too slow to move out of the way. She had desperately swung her bow at the thing, making it curl into itself in agony as the bow sparked viciously on impact and blasted a hole into its abdomen. Damon took that opportunity to behead it and kick it to one side so it didn’t collapse on her.

Solas pulled her to her feet, his aura running over her to subtly check for injuries. Zevran shook his head at the terror’s corpse, “I had hoped you were joking, Stella.”

“She never exaggerates the capabilities of her weapon.” Damon smirked as he went back to his spot in the line to wait for any straggler corpses.

Emma glared at him before focusing on that cleansing spell to get rid of the demon blood. “No, I wasn’t joking. I’ve really made a wraith explode with it.” 

Zevran nodded and glanced around. “Seems that is the last of them.”

Emma nodded and shouldered her bow before examining the next veilfire rune. It wasn't that difficult to memorize, so it didn't take long before she was ready. Hopefully Dagna or Harritt would be able to use it when they got back. 

If her memory was correct there would be one more rift right about…. “That way, there’s another tear that way.” 

“You heard her.” Damon said as he rolled his shoulders. “Let’s go play seamstress.”

‘Seamstress’ Emma rolled the word around in her mind as they walked. Solas referred to the rifts as tears in the Veil, all terms used when talking about fabric. Solas’ aura pressed against hers in curiosity. If it was like a fabric… could the threads be pulled out slowly giving the world the time it needed to adjust? Was it possible? All of these questions she'd have to ask him about when they were alone.

She was still turning it over in her head, compiling a mental list of questions when the mark crackled and sputtered to life with the sensation of static shock. She focused on the here and now. They had demons to fight. So many demons. She was getting downright tired of the bastards. 

The last rift snapped closed, and she leaned down with both hands on her knees. It was strangely refreshing to be worn out from physical exertion then magical exhaustion. Damon came up and eyed her in concern. “You alright?”

She nodded and stood straight. “Yeah. Just… out of shape.” 

He snorted in amusement. “EmTi, sweetie, you’ve never been in better shape.”

She glared at him. “Then why aren’t you out of breath?”

“Because I’m three hundred pounds of tits to the wind muscle.” He grinned and offered her his arm to lean on. 

She shoved him playfully and gave him an unimpressed look when he didn’t budge.

“Now there’s a colorful phrase.” Hawke huffed. “I think I almost understood it too.”

“Means wild and carefree.” Emma rolled her eyes as she started back to trudging towards the next and last marker. This time she kept her eyes open just in case any terrors popped up underneath them. Fight. Walk. Fight. Walk. God, she hated the Fallowmire. At least everywhere else she had Caramel.

They just got to the path that led to the fort when she touched Damon’s arm. “There's going to be a mass of walkers between us and the gates. We need to just run through as fast as we can… we can't fight them all or we’ll get overwhelmed.”

He closed his eyes for a long second before nodding. “Alright. Shields up, mages. We’re gonna charge through. Don’t stop unless it’s to get one off your ass.” 

They formed the arrowhead formation they had used in Crestwood and Emma threw up her barriers over everyone. She’d much rather her shield, but it was rather draining. They had been lucky they hadn't had to fight any Avvar so far. She was panting slightly by the time they reached the gates and made their way through. Oddly enough, none of the Avaar inside attacked once they were inside and had closed the gates against the horde. 

She frowned and kept the barrier up as she looked around at the lines of silent warriors. What was going on? Damon rolled his shoulders slightly and looked around for a long moment before asking in one handed sign language, “They fantasy vikings?”

She nodded and he frowned but straightened his shoulders. “They’re not gonna be willing to let me fight him instead of you.”

“Yeah. Hand of Korth. Thinks I’m a challenge to his gods and wants to make a name for himself.”

“Shit.” His face fell into a pleasant smile though and he propped his ax onto his shoulder as he murmured. “Get up here by me then.”

He was planning something. She felt nervous as they passed the silent Avvar. In the games they had all attacked on sight, but here, they looked like they were witnesses. They reached the main hall of the fortress and the Hand of Korth stood to his full height and boomed out his challenge to her. 

Damon stepped forward. “I am the Hand of the Herald, she will accept your challenge and use me as her weapon.”

The Avvar leader sneered and shook his head. “I will only fight with the one supposedly chosen by your gods.”

Damon held out his left hand and murmured. “Light me up, Em.”

She was about to argue when Solas’ aura pressed hers, urging her to listen. She shook her head but took Damon’s left hand in hers and felt their connection shimmer into place. She heard their companions gasp and looked up to find Damon’s eyes glowing her silver as he bared his teeth and boomed out.

“I am the Hand of the Herald, she accepts your challenge and will use  _ me  _  as her weapon.” He paused and said quieter but just as viciously. “Unless you are just wanting to fight the smaller one.”

There was a wave of murmurs through the watching Avvar and the Hand of Korth looked at them uncomfortably before squaring his shoulders. “I will prove that you are nothing! Face the Hand of Korth, if you dare.”

Emma felt Damon draw from her aura and his ax blade burst into silver flames. He squeezed her hand before letting her go and stepping forward, his flaming ax still propped on his shoulder casually. Emma watched with her heart in her throat as the two circled each other, sizing each other up as they moved. Damon must have seen something because he suddenly grinned and stepped left. The Avvar swung at him and Damon stepped left again.

She felt Solas’ aura flare in approval the same moment Bull let out an approving grunt. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from Damon to ask what they had seen though. Damon stepped left one more time before he even took his ax off of his shoulder and started to fight. Even as they blocked and traded blows with their heavy axes, Damon kept moving left, circling and dodging always to his left. It was predictable. The Hand of Korth raised his ax for a swing, and Damon moved as if to take a step, but just as the Avvar’s blade swung into the space where Damon should be as he stepped left, Damon stepped right and brought his ax up into the man’s ribcage in a half swing, lighting him on fire, then stepped right again as he stumbled and beheaded him. 

Damon stared down at the man’s corpse for a long moment before addressing the Avvar. “He is defeated by the Hand of the Herald. Go home in peace and worship your gods.” His voice sounded hollow but it was obvious he meant the words. 

Emma put out the flames on Damon’s ax and walked towards him, reaching out for him. She cast her cleansing spell to rid him of the blood as she neared him and he shuddered just as she laid her palm on his forearm. “You don't have to keep protecting me.” Her voice was quiet. He did this for her. 

“Yeah. I do.” He patted her hand and straightened his shoulders to watch the Avvar file out of the hall. 

Bull came up and slapped him on the back. “Guy was too gullible, nice job leading him.”

“Thanks.” Damon grinned but Emma could see it was strained. 

Emma looked down at the ‘Hand of Korth’s’ body, it was a gruesome sight, and she wondered if there was anything she could do. The last thing she wanted was confrontation with more Avvar, they honored their dead that fell in battle, right?

Damon followed her gaze before nudging her towards the hall doors, subtly moving between her and the body. “C’mon. If they’s viking, they might want him back. Le’s get outta the way.” 

She nodded, giving up on the idea. His father should come to Skyhold soon… depending if the game was true to the story, he wasn't all that offended over losing his son. It was sad, really.

They neared the group to find a pale Hawke, a practically vibrating Dorian, and various looks of unease among the rest. Emma knew that connecting in front of them was a bad idea. 

Varric ran a hand over his face, sighing, “Just when I think you two can't get any weirder you go and do something like that!” 

“What… what  _ was _ that?” Hawke’s voice was strained. 

“I used our bond to borrow her magic.” Damon said quietly, wiggling his left hand in half hearted illustration. 

Dorian threw up his hands in frustration. “You're not a mage. That isn't possible.”

Cassandra looked over Damon in concern before her face set. “But yet it happened. Come, let us find our missing scouts and discuss this later.” 

She reached out uncertainly and clasped Damon’s shoulder gently. He gave her a half smile and put his hand over hers before nodding in agreement and heading to to check the fort for their missing scouts.

They were all there and accounted for in the side room that Emma pointed out. Some had minor injuries that Solas was able to heal fairly easily. He took the opportunity to allow Emma to watch and hopefully pick up on it. Since the scouts assured them they would be able to make it to Hardings camp on their own, they headed for the doors.  

“Your gods look after you, Otherworlder.” Amund The Skywatcher was waiting for them at the doorway. 

She saw Damon try to hide a flinch at the title, but it was too pronounced not to notice, and there was a collective gasp from the group. 

Amend ignored their reaction. “There lies the brat. His father, chief of our holding, would duel me for the loss if he cared enough.” 

Emma caught Damon’s eye and signed, “Recruit him.” Solas and Cassandra gave her incredulous glances but she just shrugged. 

Damon inclined his head slightly. “The Inquisition has a purpose your chief does not. Join us, help us stop the breach.”

“Is this why the Lady of the Sky led me here? To help heal the wounds in her skin? Aye, I’ll join ya. Let me find peace with my kin and I’ll find where ya set your flag.” The Skywatcher set his maul down and did an awkward mimicry of a salute.

Damon returned it. “Well met and walk in strength.”

Amond slung his hammer to his shoulder before looking down at Emma. “Such a small thing.” He said quietly, as if to himself. Then louder. “The gods have spoken of you ‘bright one’. You give them hope.”

Emma gawked at him as he turned and left. Wisdom had called her that but… Solas arms went around her, pulling her back against his chest as he watched the Skywatcher leave, his aura flooded with protectiveness, curiosity, and wariness.

Damon sighed and Cass took his hand, pressing it. He gave her a small smile before looking over at the others. “C’mon, let’s get outta here.”

Emma didn’t like the quiet and unsure way they followed him.


	48. Chapter 48

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Celtic_Lass just had their baby so updates might be fewer and farther between for a while! Fear not though, we will not abandon Virtually Faded!

The trip back was tense to say the least. Everyone had heard what Amond had said but nobody seemed to have the balls to ask… even Bull. Cass and Solas knew already and attempted to smooth things over in their own way, but while it helped a little, it didn’t fix the wary glances Damon kept catching. His mental conversation was a running litany of “fuck”. They probably thought he pulled a Cole. After the ‘bond’, the glowing eyes, and then being called ‘Otherworlder’, it would be the first thing they assumed. Especially on top of his ‘general air of creepiness’ and all around oddness.

Judging by the way Sera wasn’t looking directly at him, she definitely thought that. He didn’t know how to fix things without lying though. And lying would catch Bull and Varric’s attention right away. Damon wasn’t very good at outright lying. Should he even lie?

It wasn’t until they were two days from Skyhold that it came up. They had just eaten supper and Damon had struck up a quiet conversation with Solas, one of the few people who’d make eye contact with him now, and was listening to Solas explain about spirits being sentient.

“So, the fade is kinda like another dimension? With a different kind of people?” He asked as he ran his whetstone over his ax blade.

“One could argue that point.” Solas nodded, obviously pleased.

“Is that why you and Cole get along so well?” Dorian suddenly asked from his place on the other side of the fire. “Otherworlder?”

Well, there it was. He glanced at Emma, who had her mouth open like she had been shocked. “You think he’s a spirit?!”

The group’s suspicions hadn’t occurred to her. That was kinda funny actually. “I get along with Cole because we both like to help people and I teach him how to help better.” 

“That was one of your non answers, Blot.” Varric said evenly. “But I don’t see why this matters. Get your smalls out of a wad. Blot is the same creepy, helpful guy he’s been since we all met him.” 

Damon let out a short laugh and tossed a grateful look at Varric. He really didn’t know how to explain this and was still considering just running with the spirit thing, but the fact it didn’t matter to Varric meant something. 

Bull looked between Emma and him as if he was trying to sort something out in his head. “You don’t act like the kid, that for sure.”

“That’s because he’s not a spirit.” Emma huffed, folding her arms. Solas grabbed her hand and she relaxed slightly but still looked annoyed.

“I’m not Cole. Cole ain’t me.” Damon said with a shrug. Non answers. He could do non answers. If they didn’t believe Emma, then they wouldn’t believe him. He’d let them figure out how to prove to themselves he wasn’t one, and in the meantime, he’d take the time to figure out how to explain what Amund had called him. If they wouldn’t believe this… they wouldn’t believe the truth.

“Damon! Stop encouraging them! You’re not a spirit!” Emma glared at him. 

Sera suddenly stood up and stomped towards her tent before stopping. “Shite!” She turned and looked at Damon before shaking her head and stomping back over and waving her hands about erratically as she shouted. “He’s People. He helps People. Stop it with the ‘spirity’ shite!” With that she turned away and stomped to her tent.

That was as good of an endorsement as you could get from her. Damon allowed himself a half smile as she went to hide. No one else said anything, apparently feeling put in their place by the archer. 

The talk relieved some of the tension but he could tell Bull and Dorian were still chewing on their tongues. If Zevran had an opinion he didn’t voice it. Hawke had been eyeing him warily for days now, but the second Emma yelled he wasn’t a spirit, she had relaxed so heavily her head almost dropped to her knees. At least one person listened to Emma. 

Skyhold was a relief to see, but the relief hadn't lasted long. Cullen met them at the gate with a fidgeting Cole standing off to the side.

“Welcome back.” Cullen greeted them with a salute. “Reports from Harding say the Fallowmire is stable. All our soldiers are accounted for.”

Damon returned the salute, oddly grateful to be able to get back to work after a long trip of evading questions and Solas’ and Emma’s frustration with him refusing to outright say he wasn’t a spirit. “That’s good to hear.” 

Some stable hands came to get their horses as soon as they were in the courtyard. Damon saw Emma slide from Caramel’s back and head straight for Cole, who was looking distressed about something.

“War room, twenty minutes?” Damon asked Cullen, who nodded and left to gather the other advisers. He walked over to catch what Cole was going on about.

“-like me. Not real. Glowing eyes that see too much. Knows things he shouldn’t. How did he know? He used magic, her magic, is it hers or his? Half truths and non answers, he won’t lie. He never lies. Why won’t he lie? Damon or demon?” 

Oh. Him. “Sorry, kid.” 

Cole turned to look at him, pale blue eyes seeming to look through him. “Otherworlder. Don’t fit, ain’t never fit. Let them follow their own tail. What’s real anyway? Ain’t always sure I’m real myself.” 

Damon winced and reached out to grip Cole’s shoulder. Touch grounded the kid, made him feel solid. Just like him. “Let’s not put my head out loud? They’re already freaking out.” 

Emma crossed her arms, making a frustrated sound in her throat, and frowned at him. “They wouldn’t if you would just tell them you’re not.” 

Damon rolled his eyes, not willing to rehash the argument again. “Let’s go give Leliana her gift before we have to get to the meeting.”

“Soft, wiggly nose. I don’t know why they’re so cute, but I love them.” Cole smiled. “That helps her not feel so sharp.” 

Emma nodded but he could tell by the way her nose scrunched up she wasn't happy and he’d probably hear about it again. Probably with Solas hovering over her shoulder with a general air of disapproval directed at him. She went over to where Solas was unlatching her pack from Caramel’s saddle.

“I hate it. He’s smart, sharp, always solving. I know. Why act like he’s not? She doesn’t understand, lost, bitter, confused.” Cole whispered as they watched Solas hand her her pack before taking her hand and leading her through towards the keep.

Damon squeezed the kid’s shoulder once more and let him go. He didn’t answer out loud, but focused on a mental answer of hiding until it was loud enough for Cole to hear. The kid frowned but nodded and walked off, muttering something about turnips and home. 

He collected his pack from MoFo and headed for his rooms to drop it off. They wouldn’t be able to stay long, but he’d at least get a night or two on a couch instead of the ground. And a real bath.  

Emma met him in the rotunda with the nug tucked under her arm. The thing was starting to remind him of one of those miniature pigs with the way it sat there contentedly. He gestured for her to hold out the nug and slipped the sweater he had made over its head, tugging it into place so the white flower on the back was perfectly visible. Emma made a soft noise in her throat when she saw it and smiled. 

They walked up the stairs together, passed by a stream of scouts and runners who looked like they had been sent scurrying away. Uh oh. They reached the rookery and immediately saw Leliana sitting at her usual table with a stack of papers beside her. She met their eyes and rested a hand on the thick stack. 

“Well, someone had an  _ interesting _ trip. I find the report on the Herald fighting a dragon the most interesting. Especially after we specifically asked-”

Damon shoved Emma forward. “She got you something.” Emma shot him a glare before smiling sheepishly at the Spymaster.

Leliana’s eyes widened when Emma held out the nug to her. “What is this?”

Emma shifted her feet shyly but didn’t back down. “It’s a gift. For you. I… you like them, so I got one for you, and Damon made it a sweater because he thinks it’s cute.” 

Leliana sat back in her seat like the wind had been knocked out of her. “Oh.” She glanced between the two of them for a long moment before shaking her head with a soft laugh. “And you are completely sincere. Very well, let me have the thing.”

Emma moved forward to hand over the nug and Damon stepped a bit closer to see her face. Leliana’s lips parted in surprise as she noticed the sweater, fingers moving to brush over the patterned flower. “Andraste’s Grace. I assume you told him it was my favorite flower?”

“No. I… saw it in a book and thought you’d like it, cuz it’s…” He trailed off, unsure how to finish that sentence without sounding like he was flirting. “It looks like somethin’ you’d like.” He shrugged. 

Leliana looked down at the nug with a soft smile and petted its ears, it made a little squeaking noise. “I… thank you. This was very thoughtful.” 

Emma was beaming. “What are you going to name it?”

Leliana looked down at the thing in her lap. “I will have to think on it.”

Emma was about to say something when there was a sudden sound of hurried but soft footfalls and Damon and Leliana looked towards the stairway. A very irate Josephine came into view and threw her hands into the air when she spotted them. She started ranting in Antivan, pacing and gesturing as she near shouted, pointing sharply at Damon and Emma every few sentences. Emma’s face very steadily grew redder and redder until she covered her mouth with both hands and just stared at the raging ambassador in shock. Finally, Josie inhaled and smoothed down her skirt, turning elegantly on her heel and heading down the stairway as a perfect picture of unaffected grace. 

Damon glanced at Emma. “Um. Do I want to ask?”

Emma shook her head, her face still flushed. “I’m not repeating any of that.” 

Leliana smirked as she moved to put the nug into a large raven cage sitting on the floor. “I’m sure it will come up in a more subdued manner in our meeting. Shall we?” She gestured to the stairs.

Damon shrugged and led the way down the stairs and towards the war room. That was a lot of frustration for such a competent person. He bet it had something to do with the thick stack of papers that Leliana had tucked under her arm. Which meant… it had something to do with him. If the first question they asked was if he was a spirit, he was going to bust out laughing right there at the war table. 

When they reached the war room, Cullen and Josephine were there and looking at Solas, who actually had his face in his hand as if he were so, so very done with something. Leliana moved to her place at the table and set down her papers, arranging them neatly as Damon moved to stand next to Solas. 

Emma moved to Solas’ other side and touched his arm. He responded with a small head shake, making her frown. She looked up at Cullen and Josie, who both suddenly looked uncomfortable.

“Alright, what’s first?” Damon subtly straightened his spine to get himself into ‘bossy mode’. 

Josephine hesitated before looking up from her clipboard. “Word of the Herald’s…” She glanced at Solas before fixing her eyes onto her clipboard again. “The Herald has received many offers of marriage and I was wondering how we should handle them.”

Oh, for the love of- Damon reached over and grabbed Solas’ wrist, ignoring the dude’s indignant protest and holding up his hand so that the ring was clearly visible. “She’s taken.”

Solas pulled his wrist out of his hand and stepped a few inches away as if that would prevent him from doing it again. 

Josephine’s face lit up in excitement. “That is wonderful! Congratulations!” Her face fell a second later. “However, the nobles in question would… not consider an… elven bonding to…” She shifted uncomfortably. “To an elven apostate as legitimate.” 

“What-” Emma’s eyes flashed but Solas grabbed her shoulder, pulling her back and shaking his head, despite his own rather stormy expression.

Damon stared at her for a long moment as he turned that racist assfuckery over in his head. Fuck this. “Okay. I’m sorry, Em, but you’re gonna have to have another wedding. Like… probably this afternoon.” 

Emma gaped at him. “But I-”

“You want every third son of every backwater noble panting after you and calling your husband names while they’re at it?”

She shut her mouth and her eyes tightly as they flashed even brighter at his words but shook her head. 

“Then you’re gonna have an ‘official’ wedding. Get a chantry person to attend or officiate, whatever it takes.” He glanced at Josephine. “Think you can make that happen? Small and quick, but ‘legitimate’.”  

Josephine frowned. “It might be difficult to find a chantry official willing to…”

“Roderick.” Damon snapped his fingers. “Dude’s already out of tradition, he might be willing to do it. Close enough to the chantry to be ‘legitimate’, far enough away that he’ll actually do it.” 

Emma groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Roderick is an ass!” Solas chuckled and she shot him a glare. “Does it have to be him? He hates me!”

“Actually,” Leliana spoke up. “Since your Seeing saved the inhabitants of Haven from a blighted dragon, and your closing of the breach, Roderick has become a devout believer and supporter of the Herald of Andraste. I believe he would be quite willing.” 

Josie nodded enthusiastically. “I'll send for him, he's been holding services in the village since our arrival in Skyhold.”

“Awesome. You’re getting hitched again.” Damon sighed, he was getting pretty tired of both the chantry and the racism. “Before we go handle that, what else?” 

Josie shifted her weight. “There are… Dorian has assured me that he would not mind moving to different quarters… if you would like to make use of his room. It would be more... discreet.”

Damon couldn’t help the snicker that escaped his throat. Oh boy, the rumors had gotten bad. He pulled himself back under control. “Seeing as my office is also in my room, I think moving closer would prove to be worse for discretion? Might be seen as confirmation.”

Emma gave him a blank look but Solas was struggling to hide a laugh. She gave them both a confused look before Solas shook his head and took her hand. “Don't worry about it.” He kissed her forehead, the gesture causing Leliana to slightly smile and Josie to make a quiet squealing noise but Cullen to look away quickly. “Go get cleaned up, we will finish up here.”

Emma made a face, definitely knowing she was missing something but still unsure what. She nodded and bid everybody goodbye before slipping out the door.

Immediately, Solas’ shoulders started shaking as he leaned against the war table. Damon let himself have a short laugh. “I dread the day when she figures that out.” 

Leliana shook her head. “For one who knows so much, she is incredibly… innocent and unobservant.” 

“Indeed.” Solas chuckled and straightened his shoulders. “Now to the matters at hand?”

“While on the subject of rumors… there is another one of note we should address.” Leliana pressed her lips together before continuing. “It’s a bit outlandish, and I’m sorting through my scouts to find the source, but… there are rumors that the Inquisitor is actually…”

“He’s not a spirit,” Solas sighed, all previous amusement disappearing. “If you doubt mine and Emma’s word on that, you could try to bind him.”

Damon raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that considered blood magic?”

Solas gave him a flat look. “Ridiculous questions deserve equally ridiculous answers.”

Damon grinned. “Exactly.” He knew it was frustrating Solas to no end that he wouldn’t come out and say he wasn’t a spirit and honestly, he was enjoying ruffling his feathers. 

Leliana hummed and picked up a piece of paper. “I was more concerned with how we will handle the rumors, rather than if they were true.” 

Solas nodded. “May I suggest the same way you handled the rumors of the Divine’s murderer and her pet demon?”

“Holy shit, I missed that one!” Damon let out a short laugh. “How did you handle that though?”

Josie shifted. “You were both unconscious at the time.”

Leliana gave him a look. “A few well placed words and suggestions.”

Ah. Threats. “Sounds effective. But, I was thinking maybe like we handled the Herald’s ‘demon eyes’? Give them a better, more interesting thing to focus on that won’t have to be re-dealt with every time it happens.” He shrugged. He might need to glow up again and he didn’t want to have to run another whisper campaign when he did. 

Josie tapped her pen to her clipboard in thought. “You carried the Herald of Andraste from the Fade and with her supporting you, became Inquisitor. One could say you are…her Champion.”

Damon nodded. “Yeah, that would work and I can live with that. It’s just about right too. Just… make sure it’s the ‘Herald’s’ champion and not… Andraste or the Maker?” 

Josie nodded and began scribbling again before looking up at Solas. “Would late afternoon be enough time for you and Emma to meet us all in the gardens? With the council and inner circle as witnesses, it should be enough that no one can dispute your marriage.”

Solas pressed his lips together and nodded sharply. “I believe so.” 

Dude didn't like it but wasn't going to fight them. Hell, Damon didn’t like this. But Emma needed that stupid layer of protection so she’d be left alone. 

“Anything else?”

Leliana tidied her pile of papers again before giving him a smile that raised his hackles. “Yes. Much.”

There were rumors to discuss and handle. So, so many rumors. Like. So many rumors. He was pretty sure that Leliana was making him handle rumors that normally she would have dealt with herself to punish him for sparking so many rumors. And he quickly figured out which rumor had Josephine yelling at them. It was hilarious, but word was that everyone in his inner circle was sleeping with him. He actually had to take a moment to wheeze when they told him. 

After that, apparently he had a few marriage proposals himself, mostly from minor ladies at risk of losing their noble status, that he worked with Josephine to politely fend off. Some diplomatic things, some administrative things, updates on the school and new irrigation systems in the valley, and then they dumped a metaphorical bucket of ice water over him. 

He had to sentence Alexius and the former mayor of Crestwood. And yes, he could sentence them to death if he so chose. Leliana was kind enough to allow him a few moments to lean on the table and breathe through that revelation. He knew… Emma had said he’d be dealing with them. But he hadn’t thought it out, hadn’t followed it to the conclusion. Gods… this was too much power for him to have. 

But he straightened his spine and gave himself a midnight appointment for a freak out and got back to work. He was extremely grateful when he finally heard a knock at the door. 

Leliana glanced at the door and gathered up her stack of papers. “I will have the rest of the reports delivered to your… office.” 

“Thank you. I’ll deal with them after the...” He made a face. “Wedding.” 

He gave a salute and headed for the door, eager to escape. He heard Josephine sigh wistfully. “I wish I had a bit more time to prepare for a proper wedding.” 

He gave her a smile as he reached for the door. “‘S okay, Josie, you can plan mine when it comes ‘round.”

She gaped at him as he opened the door and came face to top of head with Cassandra.

“Speaking of my favorite person.” He grinned at her and her ears flushed red as she gave him a pleased look.

“I came to collect you for lunch.” She folded her hands behind her back and Damon took the opportunity to kiss her cheek while he had the extra second to dodge a punch. 

Josephine made another excited noise and Damon stepped away just in time to avoid Cassandra’s jab. Cass shook her head but she was smiling. “Must you in public?”

“Yes.” He laughed and closed the War Room door behind him. “Where to?”

“Your office. I had lunch sent there for us so we could have a moment’s peace before this afternoon’s…” She paused and frowned uncertainly. “Wedding.” Damon looked at her in surprise, Josie hadn’t even sent for Roderick yet. Cassandra caught his look. “Emma is… not pleased.” 

Ahhh, that explained it. 

She fell silent and they didn’t speak again until the door to his room was closed behind them securely. 

“This wedding is for appearances only, is it not?” 

He nodded. “Yeah. They had their real one already, this is just to keep nobles off her back.” 

Cassandra relaxed. “Good. I had feared she was being rushed into a wedding for…”

He smiled fondly at her as he moved to the small table where there were two plates of food. “I wouldn’t do that to her. She’s not a political piece. Solas ain’t either.” 

Cass followed him and took the seat he pulled out for her. Josephine had finished furnishing his room while they’d been gone and he now had a whole wall of bookshelves. She picked at her food while he started eating, a furrow between her eyebrows.

“What’s up, Cass?”

She looked at him and studied his face for a moment before sighing. “Why will you not simply tell everyone you are not a spirit? I know you are protecting your secret, but… surely you don’t have to let them fear you?”

He twisted his mouth wryly. “Emma told them I wasn’t. Solas told them I wasn’t. You told them I wasn’t. If they aren’t going to believe two mages and a Seeker, why would they believe me?”

“But you could still tell them. Maybe hearing it from you would convince them.” She set her jaw stubbornly. 

He shrugged. “Sometimes people don’ believe shit until they figure it out on their own terms. They’ll figure out what proof they need, and then I can give it to them.” 

Cassandra’s face softened. “Oh. You are waiting for them to test you.” 

He nodded. “Yeah. And until they do, I got time to figure out how to explain away that godsdamned title without straight out lying.”

“You would not lie, even to keep that… incredible secret?” She tilted her head slightly.

“Not to my friends.” 

“You still count them friends? You are not angry at them for assuming?” She sounded honestly curious instead of upset. 

“‘Course they’re still my friends. You can have fights and shit without ending a friendship. And anyway, people here are terrified of spirits and magic. Emma and I break all the rules, it would make sense to them. I don’t fault them for it.” He shrugged. “I’m realistic about people.”

She made an odd noise in her throat and frowned. “Why have you not told your reasoning to Emma and Solas? They grow… frustrated with you.” 

He laughed wryly. “They haven’t asked.” 

  
  
  
  
  


Emma was exhausted. After all that travelling and trying to convince people Damon wasn’t a spirit when he was ACTIVELY making it difficult, she had to go through a farce of a wedding. Roderick had indeed changed his tune about her at least, and she was happy that he hadn’t had to die for it to happen, but ugh. The ceremony was stiff and as formal as it could be with everyone standing in their normal clothes in the garden. Well, except for her. Josie made sure a simple yet somewhat elegant looking pale blue gown was delivered to her room. Under any other circumstances she would have been thrilled over the dress, she loved dresses, but as it was, it was just another thing forced onto her because of some stupid racist nobles. 

Vivienne looked absolutely appalled at the state of her ‘wedding’ but had blessedly remained quiet on the subject, simply giving stilted congratulations and an invitation to tea sometime. It felt like eternity until Emma was allowed to grab Solas’ hand and escape.

When they were safely in their room, Solas sat down on the bed and pulled her into his lap, feeling her frustration with it all. “Emma’lath, it was a necessary ploy.”

She sighed and nodded. “I know… but it just…” she didn’t have to finish for him to understand. Marriage was marriage no matter the culture but the Chantry needed ‘validation’. For the love of all that was holy she hoped Damon picked Leliana as the next Divine.

“I know,” Solas kissed her forehead before smiling at her. “I have something I think you might enjoy.” She gave him a quizzical look as he stood, leaving her on the bed while he went to her dresser. “I had one of my agents deliver them.”

He pulled out two strips of wound up blue cloth lined with silver. Emma covered her mouth as a giggle escaped when she realized what they were. “Footwraps?”

Solas chuckled. “A statement.” That. That was one of the many reasons she loved him. He was giving her a subtle chance to stick it to them through something so simple. He knelt down in front of her and removed one of her boots, unwinding the blue-silver cloth. Enchantments hummed against her skin as he wrapped her foot. Warmth and protection.

When he had finished he helped her stand. It felt a little weird for her toes to be free, but they were warm against the otherwise cold stone, and they were beautiful, the silver trim was sure to catch the eye. She laughed as the memory of her and Damon running barefoot in the woods flashed in her mind. 

“You like them?”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him before pulling back and smiling. “I love them.”

Solas smiled, pleased. He wrapped his arms around her and was leaning down to kiss her when there was a knock on their door. He groaned and Emma could feel his arua flare in annoyance. He brushed his lips lightly over hers before whispering ‘later’ and walking to the door.

A runner, this one new, was nervously shifting on his feet when he answered the door. “Th-the Inquisitor requests yours and the Herald’s presence, Ser.”

“Requests our presence where?” Solas seemed amused as well as annoyed. 

“His... office, Ser.” The runner shifted again, obviously uncomfortable. 

Solas nodded. “We will be there shortly. Thank you.” He closed the door and leaned against it, chuckling as his aura flooded in amusement. “I swear he does this on purpose.” 

“Does what?” She walked over but he just shook his head, still smiling.

“It is nothing.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her before running a hand through his hair and opening the door. “Shall we?”

They left their room, Orana meeting them in the hall with a smiling Gaelathe. He reached for her as soon as he saw her, making adorable cooing noises that melted her heart. How did he grow so much while they were gone?

He was holding his head up and reaching already. It didn’t seem like they had been gone that long. Emma took him gratefully from Orana, Damon would probably love to see him. She doubted he had had the time yet.

She tucked Gaelathe against her shoulder and headed up the stairs, Solas walking beside her and smirking slightly. His aura felt a bit smug. She sent him a flash of curiosity but he just linked his arm through her free arm and shook his head. She was missing something big and it was bugging her. 

They caught several odd looks as they passed through the hall, but Emma ignored most of them, only returning smiles to the guards and staff she recognized. When they reached Damon’s door, Solas didn’t bother knocking, just opened the door and let themselves in. 

Damon was leaning over his desk reading what looked like reports when they reached the top of the stairs. He glanced up and grinned widely when he saw Gaelathe in her arms. He looked over the three of them and shook his head with a smile as he moved towards them. “That’s one hell of a statement right there.” 

Emma frowned slightly. It was just a pair of footwraps? But Damon was focused on Gaelathe as he picked the baby up and she didn’t want to interrupt and ask what she was missing. Again.

“Look at you.” He lightly bopped Gaelathe’s nose with his finger, getting a giggle from the baby. Baby’s laughter was the best and Emma smiled as Damon did it again. After about the third round of giggles,Gaelathe started chewing on his hand, making Emma wonder if it he had started teething yet. She made a mental note to check his gums later.

Damon put Gaelathe on his shoulder and pressed his face to his head in a hug before looking at them both with an apologetic smile. “Hey, m’sorry for that shit show out there guys. I know it was bullshit an’ I’m sorry y’all had to do it.”

Emma sighed and nodded, leaning back against Solas. “I know… I’m just kinda fed up with the chantry and it’s blatant racism, that it doesn’t even seem to see.” 

Damon shook his head and sat down on the bed, moving Gaelathe to sit in his lap. “Trust me, Emti. They see it, they just don’t give a fuck.” He then winced and looked down at Gaelathe. “Gonna have to watch the language. Sorry bud, but Emti will kill me if your first word is fuck.” 

Emma hummed in agreement to both statements and sat down on the couch, while Solas moved to look out the glass doors that led to the balcony. “What did you want to talk about?”

Damon wiped a bit of drool away from Gaelathes chin before looking at her.  “Bull told me the Qun wants to meet and talk about an alliance.” Solas made a disgusted sound from where he stood and Damon nodded. “Yeah, I know but I need to know what's going on before I make a decision.”

Emma scrubbed at her face before answering. She had always hated the ‘Demands of the Qun’ questline. “It’s a farce. They aren't interested in an alliance. It’s a ‘test’ for Bull, to see if he’s still loyal.” Damon gestured for her to continue, probably guessing there was more to it than just that. “They set up a fight, between the Qunari and the Venatori that are still out there with the Chargers playing support.” She took a breath before continuing, “Bull will be expected to sacrifice his men for their dreadnoughts to escape. Without his men the Qun is all Bull has left… and in about three years the Qun will order him to turn against us…”

Damon was quiet for a moment before asking. “And with the Chargers?”

Emma smiled softly. “He’s declared Tal-Vashoth… it scares him at first but with the Chargers to ground him, he and Dorian start a life together.” 

Damon frowned thoughtfully. “So he’d be free.”

“Yeah.”

Damon set his jaw and nodded. “Right. I guess I can head to the Storm Coast with the Chargers. Y’all can head towards the Western Approach and we’ll catch up when we’re done.”

“You’re…” Emma hugged herself and felt Solas’ aura curl around hers comfortingly. “Splitting us up again?”

He ran a hand over his face. “Just for a little bit. If we can get Bull out of the Qun, we gotta try, but we still gotta deal with the demon army.”

“Even though he is currently half convinced you are something he fears and hates?” Solas had started pacing, but it was a slow walk and his eyes ran over his surroundings thoughtfully as he moved. 

“Yeah. If I’ve got a chance to free even one person from that bullshit, I’ll take it.” Damon said with a surprising amount of venom. Emma hadn’t realized he had strong feelings on the Qun.

Solas felt approving as he moved to the desk and glanced over it, reaching out to lay a finger on a book with a flare of satisfaction. "Ah. Mystery solved."

Emma looked over curiously as Damon's head snapped up with a slightly panicked expression "Shit."

Solas gestured to a stack of books with a small smile. "Not much for studying, I believe you said?"

Emma could see a book on magical theory, a book on knight enchanters, a book on metallurgy, a book on architecture, one on Fereldon nobility, a book on the philosophy of the Qun, and one on dwarven history. She huffed in amusement at Damon being caught at being just as nerdy as her. And that book on magical theory looked suspiciously like Solas’ most recent missing book.

"Why were you even looking for it? There were still three books to go before you got to it." Damon asked defensively.  
  
Solas gave him a questioning look and Damon elaborated.   
  
"You stack 'em in the order you're gonna use 'em. I got that one off the bottom and you still had three on top of where it was s'posed t'be."  
  
Solas narrowed his eyes but still looked amused. "I take it this isn't the first you've taken?"  
  
"Third." Damon shrugged, most likely trying to play off the fact that he had watched Solas' habits long enough to learn his system before taking them. 

Solas tapped the book on knight enchanters. “‘A solid sort of energy, something that can move but still, you know’,” He quoted Damon and clapped his hands together with a small smile. “I believe this also explains how my book mysteriously appeared in my bag during our trip.

That was where he had gotten the idea for the light arrows! Emma snickered. "Cat's out of the bag, Damon."

Damon gave her a look she couldn't read before glancing at Solas. "'S only easy to read cuz of all your notes."  
  
Solas hummed, his aura giving off annoyance, and pulled a sheet of paper covered in Damon's handwriting out of the knight enchanter book. "Yet I did not annotate this book and the handwriting here is your own."  
  
"Dude, that was my bookmark!"   
  
Emma felt the frustration she felt at the fact he was still trying to play dumb echoed in Solas’ aura. It was her for the love of God! Why did he think he needed to act dumb in front of her?

Solas frowned at her and glanced at Damon's desk. "You have made two drawings of complicated machines, a... frighteningly accurate analysis of Lady Vivienne’s magical weaknesses, a complicated diagram sorting various metals by properties, an entire page written in another language, and your 'bookmark' is... a complex and unique combination of magical theories leading to an interesting conclusion." 

Emma gave Damon a confused look. "Why are you still trying to play dumb? Especially with me? You could-"  
  
"For fucks sake, Emma! Just drop it! I can't go back anyway, so it doesn't even fucking matter!" Damon shouted, then immediately focused on shushing Gaelathe, who had started fussing at the noise.   
  
Emma snapped her mouth shut and frowned at him. Why did he always do this? She took a deep breath trying to stay calm, grateful she wasn’t so full of magic today that she’d have an outburst. "If it doesn't matter why do you still do it?"  
  
Solas glanced between them and Damon took a deep breath before speaking in a quiet but still angry tone.   
  
"Em. It still matters because I'm big and scary. Talk in the ranks is how I literally ripped a man's arm off. I can hold my own against Bull now. How do you think he'd feel if he knew I not only knew how to make that powder the qunari are so fucking proud of but also an explosive ten times as powerful? How do you think Vivienne would feel if she knew that she had basically given a book on how to take her out to a smart guy who don't trust her instead of a dumb muggle hick playin’ at the Game? You think Solas isn’t worried about what’s on that page he can’t read now that he found it next to my notes on Vivienne? It’s even got his fuckin’ name on it." Damon shook his head. "Even the little people. You think Ilaan would be okay with me hiding out in the kitchens if she knew I could tell she don't really work for me?"  
  
He glanced at Solas, whose aura flared in surprise and must have reacted in some way outwardly because Damon laughed wryly. "Ah. Mystery solved."  
  
Emma hugged herself, torn between wanting him to stop pretending he wasn't just as smart as her and understanding he was worried about people.  
  
Solas hummed and picked up his book. "Spirit magic."  
  
Damon blinked at him. "What?"  
  
"The missing variable in your notes. I have a book on spirit magic that might have the answer you were looking for."  
Damon sighed and gave a forced smile. “Thanks. And Em, just drop it. Please. It don’t matter anymore.”

“I think it does.” Solas said evenly as he flipped through the book, pulling out scraps of paper from the pages and studying them before laying them on the desk. “You are in a position of power and influence and you insist on passing yourself off as less than you are.” He made a frustrated face. “Or as something you are not. I can see some advantages to that, but you are overdoing it.”

Damon growled in his chest and his lip curled in a snarl, but he closed his eyes and turned his head away from Emma. “Keep those in order, please.” 

He was angry. Furious even. She didn’t understand. He used to be so different. Loud and in your face about what he thought, aggressively smart, and stubborn enough to go toe to toe with her. He seemed so… muted now. Used to be that being this angry would have him up and screaming, maybe punching things. She didn’t miss the rage, but he seemed so much less now than the fiery kid she grew up with. She hated it, hated that he kept shoving himself into a small box. She crossed her arms and gritted her teeth. She’d been trying to get him to stop playing dumb for years now.

Solas gazed at Damon for a long moment before reaching over and casually shuffling the scraps of paper. 

“Asshole.” Damon scowled, but didn’t yell like Emma half expected. “‘S gonna take me forever to sort those back out.”

“It won’t. Because you can remember the order you had them in.” Solas gave him a flat look. “You think Iron Bull has not guessed that your ideas are not just lucky hunches? You think the Spymaster hasn’t realized you could stand toe to toe with her in what they call the ‘Great Game’? Even Varric-” 

“For gods’ sake, I get it. You’re all onto me. Surprise, I’m a fucking genius. Doesn’t matter. I do my fucking job, let me be underestimated.” He exhaled sharply. “Just… Let me be.” When it looked like Solas might say something more he glared at him. “There’s more than one reason to pass yourself as less than you are,  _ Solas _ .” 

“Damon!” Emma snapped at him, shocked. That wasn’t the same thing at all. Solas stood there just looking at Damon, outwardly unaffected but his aura pulsed with regret, hurt, and a small bit of understanding underneath. She knew he hated to wear the masks and personas but here, with them he didn’t have to. He had showed them more of his true self than he had anyone else in a very long time.

Damon eyed Solas for a long moment before sighing, his shoulders slumping like they did when his temper had passed and he was regretting something. “That wasn’t fair of me. I apologize. I should never have-” He ran a hand over his face and hugged Gaelathe. “I’m sorry.”

Solas’ chin dipped. “It was true. I do pass myself off as less.” Emma was about to argue with him when he held up a hand, his aura asking her to wait. “I do not, however, hide the truth of myself from you. People who have become dear to me.” His voice was quiet as he finished.

Damon shut his eyes like he was in pain and gave a bitter half smile. “Fuck.” He shook his head and forced on a grin, and Emma thought for a second he was about to make a joke, but then he let it die and shrugged. “Don’t know where to go from there.”

Solas’ aura felt understanding and urged her to go comfort him. She went over and sat on the bed next to him. “I love you, Damon.” 

He bumped her shoulder with his arm. “I know. Love you too, Konstantina.” He glanced over at Solas then back at her. “You got a good one.” 

And just like that she knew that it would be okay. He might never stop hiding his smarts from everyone, but at least he knew the people in this room knew him and cared. “I know.” She smiled and leaned her head against his shoulder.

“Oh, an’ Solas, don’ worry about Ilaan. She ain’t hurtin’ nothing and I only noticed her cuz it was me an’ Em in at the same time.” Damon said quietly. “Her cover’s still good. And she makes awesome biscuits.” 

Solas chuckled and shook his head. Emma grinned and looked at them all. This was her family. Thedas, even with all of its flaws and harshness, had given her and Damon chances they would have never dreamed. They weren’t alone. They had a family here. 


	49. Chapter 49

Emma burrowed deeper into the covers when she felt Solas shift, earning a soft chuckle from him. Urggg, Why was he such a morning person?

“M’not ready,” she mumbled, turning over to pull the covers over her head. She was in a bed after a two weeks in a bedroll, she wasn’t getting up until she had to.

Solas pulled the covers away from her face long enough to kiss her forehead. “Do not spend all day in bed, Emma’lath.” He chuckled before replacing the covers.  

She heard him moving about the room, getting ready for his day, and groaned inwardly. Who was she kidding? She was already wide awake and chances were she wouldn’t be able to fall back to sleep.

She sat up just as he was reaching for the door. He stopped and smiled at her, probably already guessing she wouldn’t be able to stay in bed long. “Plans for today?”

She scrubbed at her eyes and flung the covers off before answering. “I have to check on Felix’s progress. There was too much going on yesterday. Then check on Alistair. Meet you for lunch?”

He nodded and opened the door. “I suggest you speak to Damon before lunch.” At her confusion he gave her a sad kind of smile. “He must sit in judgment after and I believe he is having difficulty with it.”

Oh. Oh no. She hadn’t thought about that. Damon would hate having that kind of power, he would be completely freaking out. Her concern must have been radiating pretty badly through her aura because he came back to press another kiss to her forehead.

“He will manage, and you can help.” He said softly. 

She nodded. “Thank you for telling me… I… didn’t even think about it.”

Solas rubbed her shoulder, his aura curling around her. “He hides his emotions well enough that you would not have known.” He smiled then. “I will collect you for ‘lunch’.” 

She laughed and swatted at him but he fade stepped to the door. “Cheater!” 

It didn’t take her long to get dressed. She was feeling lazy so she pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail. Josie had somehow gotten her a whole new wardrobe while they were gone and a mirror. A full sized mirror. And Oh My God, She had abs! Honest to goodness abs!? How had that happened?!

Damon probably would have laughed at her as she turned and twisted in front of the mirror. Every bit of flab she used to have was replaced with slim muscle and her skin was more tanned than she had ever been. Huh. Apparently she was in the best shape she had ever been. The realization put a bit of bounce in her step as she dressed and figured out how to put the footwraps on by herself. They were a lot more comfortable than the boots and actually let her walk on her toes like she used to.

She decided to go find Damon while it was still early. It was hard to track him down when they were at Skyhold, he always seemed to be busy. Today she was in luck, both him and Cass were in the dining hall eating breakfast, Gaelathe propped up in Damon’s lap. 

She snuck up behind him and snagged the toast he had just buttered out of his hand. “Morning!” 

He made an odd flinching movement and Cass grabbed his arm, but he relaxed when he looked at her and grinned. “Thief!” 

She grinned as she plopped down next to him. “Whatcha got planned today?” She asked as she bit into the toast.

His grin died immediately and his jaw tightened as he looked at his plate. “Bossy stuff. You know, I think mom woulda stabbed me herself if she knew my ass would get stuck in a throne.” 

Emma nodded, Solas’ words about how he seemed uneasy about judging Alexius and the Mayor fresh in her mind. “You want to tag along with me this morning?” She fiddled with the toast, suddenly not very hungry. “I was going to check on some people today… it might help?”

“That…” He turned and pressed a kiss to her forehead before sitting back to accept a subtle punch in the side from Cass. “Sounds amazing.” 

Emma shook her head at him and grinned. “First up is Alistair.”

He nodded, but with a slightly odd look, “Sounds good. You gonna tag, Cass?”

Cassandra shook her head. “No, I have other things I must tend to before we leave.” 

Emma winced at the sudden reminder they had to leave to meet up with Loghain. “Yeah… Best not mention Loghain or Wardens to Alistair right now. He’s got a… complicated history.”

“Noted.” His eyes dropped to her uneaten piece of toast. “You done? I ate.”

She dropped the toast to the plate and nodded as she started gathering them together. “Yup.” 

He gave Cass a kiss on the cheek, which made her blush and punch him again, and handed Gaelathe to her so he could help her gather up the plates and return them to the kitchens. He actually had Emma wait outside the kitchen when he went in, no doubt to talk to Ilaan and whoever else he had charmed. She was feeling huffy that he made her wait outside when he reappeared, but he just bowed and motioned for her to lead on and it was so ridiculous she couldn’t stay irritated. 

They headed for the clinic, Damon tagging along with a thoughtful expression as she opened the door. The young healer that had helped her last time greeted them with a nervous glance at Damon and a slight bow. “Inquisitor, Lady Herald, how can I be of assistance?”

“Hello,” she smiled at him. “I was wondering how Warden Alistair is doing today?”

The healer smiled. “He is not here I'm afraid, the Commander had him moved to a private room off of the gardens.”

Well, that was… really great news actually. She smiled and thanked him before heading back out the door for the gardens. 

“Soooo... what's his story?” Damon asked, his voice quiet but holding some curiosity. 

Emma sighed. “Not great. You read about the Hero of Fereldon?”

“Yeah. Sounds like propaganda. All hail the fearless hero who absolutely didn’t have his own reasons for saving the world.” He snorted.  

Emma winced, “Yeah… well Alistair… he's the one referred to as ‘The bastard’.” 

Damon stopped and his eyes got really wide for a moment before he ran a hand over his face. “I’m gonna need you to stop telling me anything about him, Em. He’s just your guest, that’s all I know.” Emma gave him a confused look and he sighed before glancing around and leaning in to say very quietly, “As the leader of a very powerful organization, I do not know anything about the possibility of a contender to the Fereldon throne being harbored under my roof.” 

“Oh,” Emma frowned, then her eyes widened. “OH!” If she could-

He reached out and grabbed her shoulder urgently. “He’s just your guest.” He switched to sign language. “Get help from Solas or Leliana with that idea you just had, I can’t help you.”  

She nodded, Leliana would probably help her instantly if she believed there was a chance and Solas used to outplay evanuris on a daily basis. It could work. “I understand.” She signed back and gave him a smile. “You're amazing!”

He ran a hand over his face, but he was smiling. “Yeah. So some nerds keep telling me. Let’s go meet this guy that makes Solas almost as possessive as Honey does.” 

Emma blushed. “It's not… I knew him from the first game, ok!?” Uggg she was happy with Solas… more importantly: married. Twice.

“Ah.” Damon wiggled his eyebrows. “ _ Knew _ him. I know someone gets a hit of memories with the hands, so what he catch?”

“Goofy awkwardness!” Emma sighed and shook her head.

“Your greatest weakness, second only to hipsters.” He shook his head playfully and nudged her to lead on.

She threw her hands in the air in defeat. She couldn't deny she had a soft spot for Alistair, always would. But Solas knew that, he also knew that she loved him. He knew why she wanted to help him and he seemed okay with it.

The gardens were coming along beautifully, several arches had been repaired, along with a few gazebos and benches. Plants of all kinds, mostly medicinal ones she recognized from one of Solas’ books on flora, but there were others that looked like they might be used in toxins or poisons. Courtesy of Leliana she was guessing. Damon made an approving noise as they passed the planters, then made a disapproving noise when they walked past a Chantry sister leading a group of kids through a section of the Chant.

“S’posed to be learning how to read and write.” He muttered. 

Emma patted his arm in understanding as they headed for the door with a guard standing outside it. She didn’t recognize this one, but gave him a friendly smile when he saluted to Damon. “Hi! We’re here to visit Alistair.” 

The guard nodded. “Commander said you might come by to check on him.”

Emma nodded her thanks and knocked lightly on the door before cracking it open. She was surprised to see Alistair was sitting on the edge of a bed with Cole tailor sitting on the floor with strings of bright blue yarn stretched between them. 

Cole suddenly looked up. “They saw you, made you be real. It hurt. Like a scar cut open to heal.” 

Damon wrinkled his nose. “Is that finger knitting? I love that shit.”

“So I’m told.” Alistair looked up from his hands and frowned when he saw Emma. His eyes narrowed as they shifted to Damon and back to her. “Come to make sure I’ve been behaving myself?” There was thinly veiled venom in his voice as he spoke but at least he wasn’t throwing things yet… so: improvement?

Damon huffed and went over to sit next to Cole on the floor, pickup up an end of string and winding it around his fingers. “Just here for the string, myself.” 

Emma gave him a small smile. “Just a visit to see how you were feeling.”

Alistair just looked down at his hands and clenched his jaw as he made another loop with the yarn. Cole looked over at her. “He hurts, the ale made it quieter.” 

Alistair cast him a glare. “Thought we agreed you could stay if you didn't talk?”

Damon grimaced and murmured. “Quiet until the hurt becomes silence and you can’t find the threads.” 

He really did get along with Cole pretty well. Sometimes it seemed they had their own language too. 

“You talk nonsense like him.” Alistair turned his glare off of Cole and onto Damon.

“‘S not nonsense. He just sees things differently. Not everyone has the same perspective.” 

Alistair dropped the yarn into his lap and rubbed his hands over his face. “I could do without it, honestly.”

Emma pulled a chair out from the small desk that had been set up in the room and sat down. “He’s a spirit of compassion, he feels hurts and wants to help.”

Alistair dropped his hands and stared at her as if she had just stated the most obvious thing. “I know that.”

“I don’t know anything, never did know anything. Now I know that I don’t know anything.” Damon grinned and held his hand up to admire his loops. 

Cole tilted his head. “The spirits made him kinder by showing him his old hurts. They made him remember instead of forget.”

Alistair looked down at him and shook his head before trying to pick up the yarn again, slipping them onto the correct fingers. “I was trained as a Templar and despite popular belief, I did retain what I learned.”

Emma blinked. “Aren’t all spirits viewed as demons by the Chantry and Templars?”

Alistair rolled his eyes. “Not all bought into the whole ‘mages are evil, spirits are bad’ speil they’re fed. It's the lyrium that messes Templars up to where they can't think straight enough to stand by their convictions.” He huffed, “I was just lucky enough to be recruited before I took my first drought.”

“Good deal.”  Damon hummed and reached over to help Cole untangle his foot from some yarn.

He was talking to her, not yelling. She was going to call that a definite improvement. She smiled at him. “They said you’ve been eating better.”

Alistair made a noise in his throat she didn't know how to take. “Like I had a choice?”

Damon laughed. “She get scary on you?”

Alistair actually cracked a smile at Damon. “She threatened to hold me down and shove it down my throat… and her eyes glowed.” 

“Oof. It’s scary enough without the eyes.” Damon shuddered playfully. 

Emma rolled her eyes at them. “I'm like one-twenty sopping wet.

Damon rolled  _ his _ eyes. “Em. You’ve done it before.”

Alistair chuckled, it was good to see him actually smiling. Then he sobered suddenly. “I… I should probably apologize for…” he glanced at Damon before continuing. “My actions?”

“He was stressed.” Cole murmured. “Stressed, strained, straying. She already forgave.” 

Emma smiled softly and was about to respond when she heard a shrill voice scolding a kid outside for stumbling over their recitation. Alistair’s eyes flew to the door with a wince. Damon looked at him with a slight head tilt before Emma heard the sharp sound of someone getting hit and a child's muffled whimper. Damon jumped from his seat with a snarl, shaking the yarn off his fingers angrily. "Hell no!" 

He charged out the door. Alistair looked at Emma in surprise before they both scrambled to follow him. They made it outside in time to see Damon wrench a cane out of the sister's hand, snapping it in two in one hand while gently shoving a whimpering kid behind him with the other. The kid couldn’t be older than six and was clutching their hand to their chest as they hid behind Damon’s leg. 

"Get out." His voice was deadly calm. "If you are seen near a kid again I will personally see you put out of Skyhold." 

The sister looked like she was going to protest and Damon took a step forward to loom over her. "I do not tolerate those who harm children. Get. Out."

She paled and scurried off. Emma moved to the kid, who was clutching the leg of Damon's pants like a lifeline. "Hey, you okay?"

She knelt and held out her arms. The kid hesitated but moved to her for a hug. Damon looked over the rest of the wide eyed kids with a frown. "Where are the elf kids?"

Alistair surprised her by speaking up, warily, but with a surprising amount of venom. "They were 'excused' from classes to work." He stopped to wave at the little boy who was casting him shy looks over Emma shoulder. “Elven children are expected to work as pages and runners for the Chantry.” 

"Fu-" Damon glanced at the kids and stopped mid curse. "I'll be fixing that." 

Emma was really getting fed up with the Chantry. She knew rationally that things were worse outside of Skyhold but she had honestly hoped that at least here elves wouldn't be treated as less. These were kids for God’s sake. She wiped the kid’s face with the hem of her shirt and gave them a smile. "Can I see your hand?"

The boy slowly nodded and held out his hand. There were two red welts as wide as her finger and several older bruises that looked like they ranged from a day old to weeks. Her aura flared angrily and she recognized the song of it as healing so she let it out. The kid sucked in a shocked breath but beamed at her when they wiggled their healed hand happily and ran back to show a friend that 'the Herald fixed my hand'.

Solas’ aura immediately curled around hers in concern. She mentally shook her head and sent the impression of explaining later and that she was safe. She stood up and glanced at Damon. He pointed at the oldest looking kid, probably close to eleven. “What’s your name?”

“Danielle.” Her voice held a small touch of an Orlesian accent.

“Danielle, do you think you can herd all of these kids to the kitchens? Ask for Ilaan, tell her that the Inquisitor asked her to provide you all with cookies. Password is ‘he looks like a horse’s butt’.” There was a round of giggles and Damon grinned. “After, bring them all back?”

Danielle straightened her shoulders and held out a hand to the smallest kid. “Yes, ser. I will take care of it.”

Damon to the rescue. She didn’t know how he managed to take charge and just…  _ fix _ things like that. Emma watched them leave and worried her lip. She’d have to find another teacher. She had forgotten about the kind of place they were in, hadn’t thought to make a rule against hitting kids, hadn’t thought to specify that elves were to be taught. She looked at Damon, wanting help but not sure if she should add yet another thing to his plate. 

Damon glanced at her and reached out to pull her into a half hug before looking at Alistair. "You knew that was coming. It’s happened before.”

Alistair grimaced but nodded. “Yes. I had first hand experience with the Chantry’s… methods when I was a boy.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I tried to stop it when it first happened, but I am not allowed to leave my room without permission.” He glanced back at the guard pretending not to watch them. “And it was ‘suggested’ that I’d be locked back in the clinic if I kept trying to escape. That Commander was very… clear.”

Damon hummed thoughtfully. “Can you read?"  
Alistair startled but actually looked offended. "Of course."

"Math? Like, addition, subtraction?"  
Alistair straightened his spine and scowled. "I am educated."  
Damon glanced down at Emma and she nodded. He was well educated.

"Good. Want to become the new teacher?"

Alistair blinked in surprise. "What?" 

“Would you be willing to take over teaching the kids?” He asked as he jerked his head in the direction the children had headed off in.

That… was a great idea. 

“Maker! You want-” Alistair closed his eyes and ran a hand over his face. “I’m dying and ‘unstable’ and you want me to take charge of several dozen children’s education?”

Damon’s eyes narrowed. “You gonna off yourself in front of the kids?”

“Maker! No!” He looked horrified at the thought.

“Then you’re not dying.” 

“He can help them and they can help him, future for future.” Cole said from beside them, making Alister, who didn’t seem quite used to the kid’s habit of just popping up out of nowhere, startle slightly. Cole tilted his head and looked at Damon.”Maybe you’re Hope.” With that the spirit started walking away. 

Damon shook his head and let go of Emma, fishing in his pocket for a piece of paper and a charcoal. He always had those in his pockets now. He used a nearby bench to scribble on the paper before handing it to Alistair. “Here. Permission to get anything you need or want for the kids to help them learn. As well as permission to leave your room at any time,” He glanced at the guard narrowly. “With an escort that will follow you _whenever_ you want to leave.” 

Alistair followed his gaze and he winced. “If I’m going to have to do this, is it possible get another... ‘escort’? I'm sure the man is charming under all the scowls, and grunts, but really?”

Damon huffed. “Yeah, sure. I’m sure Em knows someone with great personality.”  

Emma nodded and smiled as an idea hit her, indeed she did. “I'm sure grand enchanter Fiona wouldn't mind helping out with lessons. She taught in the circles.” Was it sneaky? Yes. Maybe Solas was rubbing off on her.

Damon gave her a look but nodded. “I'll ask her if she’s willing.”

Alistair grudgingly agreed to temporarily teach the kids and wait for them to return to the gardens so he could watch over them until their parents collected them. They left in search of Emma’s other project. Dorian wasn’t in his little nook in the library, Fiona, however, was speaking to Mineave about something so Emma took the opportunity that presented itself.

“Grand Enchanter, Minaeve.” She greeted with a friendly wave as she walked over to the desk. “How is your research going?” She asked Minaeve, trying to be sociable to the younger mage. Fiona was the reason she stopped but the work Minaeve did was important as well. 

“Lady Herald, Inquisitor.” Minaeve curtseyed. “I have stepped down from my position as Head Creature Researcher. Helisma now performs that task.”

Oh, yeah. She had forgotten. 

“Is that so?” Damon hummed and bowed slightly. “If you would point them out I’d like to talk to them.” 

Minaeve pointed out the tranquil woman and Damon moved towards her, leaving Emma to talk to Fiona by herself. 

After a few polite exchanges, Minaeve excused herself, and Fiona turned her full attention to Emma. “How may I help you, Herald?” 

Emma bit her lip, trying to think of how to word everything. “I need a favor with something and also came to invite you to join us this evening in the underforge? I'd like to document Felix's progress and I think you might like to see the results.”

Fiona nodded, “I have noted his improvement of health. I am interested to see if the effects are permanent.”

Emma smiled excitedly. “So am I.” If this worked there were so many possibilities.

“And the favor?” Fiona's voice took on a cautious tone.

Emma looked down at their hands. “You have experience… teaching? In the circles, I mean?”

“I do.” Fiona tilted her head questioningly. 

Emma gave a small sigh of relief, this hare brained plan might actually work. “The ‘sister’ that was teaching the children here in the keep was… let go. I was wondering if you might help out until we can find someone permanent?” Fiona’s brow furrowed in thought. “You’d have help, he just doesn't have a lot of experience teaching and might need someone who's used to handling kids.” She assured her.

Fiona nodded in agreement. “I don't see why I can't do this.” She then looked at Emma with an unreadable expression. “If I may ask, why was the ‘sister let go’?”

Emma didn't try to hide the anger in her voice. “Apparently the Chantry didn't take Damon and I seriously when we said that ‘all children’ were to be educated. And she seemed to think caneing a six year old boy for missing a word in the Chant was acceptable as punishment.” 

Fiona's face softened and Emma knew she made the right decision. “I will gladly help with your school until you find a suitable replacement.”

Emma gave her a wide smile and impulsively hugged her, shocking a laugh from the older mage. “Thank you!”

Damon suddenly came up and touched her elbow. “Emma, I need to talk to you about something.”

She looked up at him and frowned when she saw the tense line of his jaw and his blank eyes. He was furious and scared. “What is it?”

He looked at Fiona and bowed his head slightly. “I’m sorry for interrupting, I have need of the Herald.” 

“No trouble, we were just finished.” Fiona assured him giving them both a soft smile. “Good day.”

They said their farewells to the first enchanter as she moved to speak with Minaeve once more. Damon’s fingers had wrapped around the crook of her elbow and he was gently but insistently tugging her towards the stairs. She barely had time to wave goodbye before he was practically dragging her down the stairs. They passed through the Rotunda and Solas looked up from his desk, concern creasing his brow and flooding his aura. Damon jerked his head but didn’t pause on his way towards the stairs leading towards Emma’s room. Solas actually scrambled a little bit to stand from his desk and follow them. 

Damon didn’t speak until all three of them were in Emma’s room with the door shut behind them. Solas put his silencing spell into place and Damon started pacing. Pacing. What?

“Damon-” she started but he cut her off suddenly.

“What is a tranquil?” He had his arms crossed across his chest but it looked more like a self hug than anger. 

Emma winced. She had forgotten to tell him what all that entailed when they had saved the tranquil in Redcliffe. He hadn’t had a chance to actually talk to one of them back then. “They were mages that had their magic stripped away and are permanently cut of from their connection to the Fade.” Emma shuddered and felt Solas’ arms wrap around her in a backwards hug.

Damon stopped mid pace, looking horrified. “But doesn't that…”

“They lose their ability to dream, their emotions, their desires.” Solas’ voice was bitter and his arms and aura tightened around her protectively as he spoke. “They are barely even living.” 

“Fuck.” Damon’s hands fell to his sides. “They’ve been lobotomized.” 

Emma nodded, and explained in response to Solas’ curious aura flare. “Part of their brain or mind removed to make them docile.”

“Mutilated.” Damon swore and scrubbed his hands over his face, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes for a long moment. “Why?” 

“It’s…” Emma grimaced as she remembered as much from the books as she could. “It’s supposed to protect ‘weak willed’ mages from being possessed, but in the last age it’s just become a threat, a way to keep ‘unruly’ mages in line. Punishment and control.”

Damon’s chest stilled as he stopped breathing for a long moment. He slowly lifted his head from his hands and stared at her. When he spoke his voice was cold. “Sometimes I feel like freeing Fenrir myself, Em. Ashes and ashes.”

Solas tensed behind her, his aura flaring in both understanding and regret. He knew all too well those feelings. 

“For the oaks?” She took a half step forward, scared and wanting to touch. He had the power to burn the world down now if he really wanted to. Solas moved with her.

He hesitated, and that hesitation made her heart hurt, but sighed with a slight nod. “Ashes for the oaks.” 

Solas must have understood the meaning through their bond, because he dropped his forehead to the back of her head and breathed deeply, resolve and regret faintly tinged his aura as if he were trying to hide its flow to her but not quite succeeding.

Damon suddenly shook himself. “Can it be fixed? Reversed?”

She nodded and wavered her hand. “I know the theory, but it… would require a spirit medium. And… there are no studies on the long term effects. The only one I know of had extreme and uncontrollable mood swings and was murdered before anyone could find out if it would pass.” 

Solas sucked in a breath behind her, hope and surprise wiping away the earlier emotions she had felt from him. She should have reread Asunder, but who could’ve predicted she’d actually be here to try and cure tranquility. “First the blight, now tranquility?” His arms tightened and he let out a small chuckle. “‘No power in the ‘verse’ indeed.”

Damon snorted and gave Solas a half grin over her shoulder. “Indeed.” He sobered and looked at Emma. “Study it. Figure it out.” That was Damon’s ‘bossy’ tone. “I don’t… I want to give any Tranquil the choice to be whole again. I want them to have that possibility.” His voice softened. “Don’ worry, Em. I’m gonna try an’ fix it before I try an’ burn it down for the seeds.” 

Emma nodded. “I know.” She leaned back against Solas; she hoped she could help them both find a way to change things before it got that bad. “Don't suppose you still wanna tag along to meet with Felix?”

Damon ran a hand over his face but chuckled. “Yeah .  Ma da’elvarathe’venast’udh .  I’m goin’ with ya.” He stumbled over the elvhen phrase a little but his pronunciation was still good. 

Solas snorted and she blinked at Damon in surprise. “Did… you just call me a cute little trouble finder in elvhen?!” 

“Yup.” He sounded proud of himself. “Learned it just for you.” 

Solas laughed, shaking his head, and kissed the top of her head. “Is sul’amem ma on’melin.”

“He something you something good name.” Damon wrinkled his nose as he thought. 

Emma felt a burst of pride that not only was he trying to learn, but he wasn’t hiding it from her. But also she felt a bit offended. “He said that you gave me a good name. Which is not true! I am not a trouble finder!” 

“Perhaps it would be more accurate to say you are trouble incarnate?” Solas chuckled as he dodged her elbow.

“How did you learn to say that anyway?” Emma scowled at Damon, but she was happy to see that he looked less tense. 

“I’ve got connections.” He grinned. “Now, freak out over, let’s finish running around before I have to sit down.” 

After a quick early lunch with Solas, courtesy of Damon’s kitchen ‘connections’, they went on their hunt for Felix. Since Dorian was nowhere to be found and Bull was in the training yard, Emma’s best bet was that he and Felix were visiting with Alexius. Today being the day Damon was expected to judge him, it made sense.

They had actually fixed the dungeons while they had been away, so no gaping hole in the floor. And also a lot more dreary than she had hoped. Damon’s shoulders tensed slightly as they walked down the stairs. She really hoped they wouldn’t have to see the Mayor. Luckily, Alexius’ cell was the first they came too, the door open. Dorian and Felix sat in the cell with him while a guard stood close by.

The guard was the first to notice them and saluted. “Inquisitor, Lady Herald.”

Dorian looked over in surprise and stood. “Damon, Emma, I hadn’t expected-” he cut himself off and gave them a sad smile. “We were just visiting before ‘Judgment’.”

Damon was very still next to her but had a pleasant smile on his face. He looked perfectly calm. He was pretending. She gave Dorian and Felix a wan smile, purposefully ignoring Alexius. His hostility toward her last time still rubbed her raw. “I was just trying to find you, Felix. See how you were doing?”

Felix stood and gave her a small smile and she could tell he had more color and didn’t wobble like he had the last time she had seen him. “I am surprisingly stronger, thank you.” His voice was subdued but she could understand, the fate of his father would be decided today.

Emma gave him what she hoped was an understanding and encouraging smile. “Would you feel up to meeting me later in the underforge? I’d like to compare your blood now to the old sample and see if there is any physical change. I… wouldn’t ask today but I’m leaving in the morning.”

Felix sighed softly but nodded. “Very well, Lady Herald. I will meet you after…” He glanced back at his father uncertainly.

Alexius surprised her by giving him a comforting smile. “Whatever my fate, seeing you gaining back your health is worth whatever punishment is decided.” He turned his gaze from Felix to look at her, pure gratitude in his eyes. “I don’t know how you accomplished what every healer in Tevinter assured me was impossible, but you have my gratitude.” His eyes softened as he looked at his son. “You didn’t have to… I nearly destroyed everything you sought to build and yet you still helped my son.” He looked back and her and bowed his head. “I thank you. Whatever punishment is dealt, I am at peace.”

Emma was stunned, she looked at Dorian, who was smiling fondly down at his old mentor, maybe this was a reflection of the man he used to admire. Damon suddenly turned on his heel and left without a word. 

Dorian’s smile faltered. “Well… that doesn’t bode well.” 

Emma watched Damon until he disappeared up the stairs. She knew the options in the game for judging Alexius, and after everything that happened that morning she knew tranquility would be off the table. She hadn't a clue what he would choose… Alexius allied with a darkspawn magister. True, it was only because of the promise to save his son but still. He was still guilty.

Solas’ aura curled around hers, comforting and questioning. All she could send back was that she was okay, and wasn't sure.

  
  
  


Cassandra found him, as she always seemed to do when his head was a mess. He was hunched over his desk with his head in his hands, Josephine’s words echoing in his head. “-and of course, execution by your own hand.” She had said it like it was some sort of honor, like he should be pleased one of his duties was killing even more people. Why was Thedas so… violent? 

He had gone to her to ask about the laws, the rules he needed to abide by in judgement. He wanted to know what was reasonable, what was expected, what rights he needed to be aware of. He had been horrified when she said that he basically could do whatever he wanted. She had mistaken his horror for confusion and had laid out some of his options: execution, imprisonment for life, tranquility, indenturement. It… had shaken him. 

The man in the cells, a father willing to do whatever it took to save his son. Willing to do horrible things to save him. The cold angry part of himself that he took so much care to cut down said that the man capable of the horrors Emma had told him of should be killed without hesitation. But… if Emma… Damon didn’t know how far he would go to try and save Emma, or Gaelathe. He… understood. 

Cassandra’s hand gripped his shoulder, fingers digging into his muscle tight enough to hurt a little. He hadn’t heard her come in, hadn’t noticed her. He leaned into her grip, grateful for the touch holding him together. 

“Are you all right?” 

“No.” He sighed and pulled his face out of his hands. “Yes. I will be.” 

“What is troubling you?”

“Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” He ran a thumb over his wrist absently. “I’m afraid.”

Cassandra hummed and gently pushed a spot clear on his desk so she could lean against it and take his hands in her own. “Those are wise words. And that you are afraid of abusing that power speaks of the person you are.” She gave him a gentle smile. 

He closed his eyes for a moment, a knot of tension in his chest unravelling in relief at her words. “Thank you. I’m… I’m gonna do my best to do what’s right. I just… don’t want to become a monster.” 

Cassandra nodded and looked at their hands thoughtfully. “I believe that we are all monsters in the other side’s story. We must trust our hearts to guide us down the right path.”

“True.” He huffed. “I’m… really glad I’ve got you, Kadan.” 

Cassandra blushed but leaned down to press a kiss to his lips, softly laying a hand on his cheek before pulling back to look at him. “I have faith that you will do what is right… you are a rare man.”

He laid his hand over hers and inhaled slowly. “Your belief will keep it so.” He pulled her hand from his face and pressed a kiss to her knuckles before sitting straight. “Is it time?” 

Cassandra pressed his hand and nodded. “I was sent to find you.”

“Right.” He rose from his seat and pulled her into his arms, breathing her in for a moment before stepping back and squaring his shoulders. “Let’s get this done.” 

She fell into step beside him as he made his way to the door. He kept his head up and his spine straight, his face impassive. The Inquisition needed to look strong. He felt her hand brush his elbow gently when they reached the door, and then she melted into the crowd (oh gods, there was a crowd) and he had to walk to the throne by himself. 

Solas, Leliana, and Cullen stood off to the side of the throne, far enough away to make it clear the decisions made were his, and close enough to make their positions within the Inquisition known. Solas gave him a small nod as he passed them. 

He hesitated for a split second before sitting down. This was wrong. He didn’t belong here. But he must. He sat back in the exact open legged pose that Josephine had coached him in, saying it made him look regal and composed. He could see Emma near the front of the crowd, looking a bit pale even though she gave him a small smile when his eyes fell on her. Dorian was standing near Felix and the two of them were also pale and tense. 

Josephine stepped forward with her clipboard and began speaking. “You recall Gereon Alexius of Tevinter. Fereldon has given him to us as acknowledgement of your aid. The formal charges are apostasy, attempted enslavement, and attempted assassination- on your own life no less.” 

A pair of guards led Alexius towards the throne, shoving him into place. Damon would have to have a word with Cullen about treatment of prisoners. 

“Tevinter has disowned and stripped him of his rank. You may judge the former magister as you see fit.” Josephine stepped back gracefully.

“These are grave charges.” Damon saw Emma cover her mouth with her hand out of the corner of his eye. “Have you anything to say in your defense?” 

Alexius shook his head. “No. Render your judgement, Inquisitor.”

Damon took a slow breath to try and calm his heart rate. “You swore to the mages that you would help them. I will have you uphold that promise. Fiona will take charge of you. Any knowledge, favor, or coin you own will go to the mages’ future.”

He could see the flare of pride in the man’s eyes, knew that the indignanty of servitude would gall him, but Alexius glanced at Felix and his shoulders relaxed. He still had his son. “Thank you, Inquisitor.”

Damon inclined his head and the guards led Alexius away, a bit gentler. He had guessed right then. Alexius loved his son more than anything. They would get more time together, Alexius was defanged, and the Inquisition would profit from the man’s magical genius. He could see Felix’s stunned look of relief and held onto it as Josephine stepped forward again. 

“Mayor Gregory Dedrick of Crestwood is present for betraying his own constituents. He confesses that ten years ago, he flooded Old Crestwood to kill refugees and villagers touched by the blight. The mayor claims it was to spare the rest of Crestwood, but we only have his word.” Josephine once again stepped back as the former mayor was pushed into place. 

He looked defeated, his head bowed. Damon took another slow breath. 

“If the mayor has anything to say in his defense, let him speak.”

The man looked up, his face twisted in desperation. “There’s no cure for the blight, but I couldn’t convince anyone to leave a sick child or husband behind!” 

Damon glanced at Felix again before training his attention back on the matter at hand. Josephine spoke up, her normally carefully modulated voice full of disbelieving anger. 

“So you herded the infected into one place and flooded Old Crestwood? Were no innocents caught in the waters?” 

The man stepped back and shook his head, looking terrified. “Nearly everyone in the village had the blight! I swear it! Have mercy, I couldn’t tell the survivors I’d drowned their own families to save them. I- I couldn’t!”

Damon kept his voice controlled. “Nearly. ‘Nearly everyone’ you say. You lied for ten years, and then fled after confessing your guilt.” He took a breath. He knew… he should execute the man. He had dealt with the possessed bodies of his victims firsthand. But when it came down to it… he couldn’t. He just couldn’t kill him in cold blood like that. “For your crimes, you are exiled from Fereldon. I doubt the crown will disagree.” 

“I knew your coming meant the end, one way or another.”

Damon watched the guards lead him away. He didn’t dare look over at Emma right now, didn’t dare see what she thought of what he had done written all over her face. He felt like he was going to be sick. He kept his face on while Josephine said something official sounding, and then he was very carefully moving through the crowd, politely brushing off conversation and angling away from Emma. He couldn’t deal with her right now. She’d either be all understanding and he’d end up crying, or upset and he’d end up vomiting. Right now he needed to punch something. Or be punched. Being punched sounded better. 

He made it out of the main hall and came to a halt on the steps. He… wasn’t actually sure where to find Bull. He headed down the stairs slowly, wondering if the guy was back in the hall. Bull would definitely be up to punching him, but he wasn’t sure if he felt up to braving the crowd to search him out in there. He heard footsteps behind him and glanced back to find Bull himself headed for him. The qunari fell into step beside him, silent and watching him from the corner of his eye.

They reached the ground and Bull finally spoke. “Wanna spar?”

“Fuck yes.” Damon let out a relieved breath, for once really grateful for the man’s ability to read people. 

He faintly heard his name being called and looked up instinctively to see Emma at the top of the stairs, her face twisted in concern. She took a step towards the stairs before Solas caught her arm. He couldn’t hear what the dude said to her but it was enough to make her pause and glance at him before looking back and giving him a small, sad looking smile and allowing Solas to lead her back inside.

Bull grabbed his shoulder and shook him slightly. “C’mon, Boss. Let’s beat the shit out of each other.”


	50. Chapter 50

It was hard to let Emma go. He wanted to keep her in a tight hug and not let her go. Last time they’d been apart things had gone to shit and he had the irrational fear that it would again. But there was nothing for it. He had to help Bull, and they had to deal with the Wardens. He let her go, kissed Cassandra thoroughly, and then he got his group together and headed out of the gates. It was him, Bull, Dorian, and Sera. The Chargers would be meeting up with them on the Storm Coast. The rest of their normal travel companions (plus Hawke and Zevran) went with Emma towards the Western Approach. Smaller groups could travel faster, so Damon should be able to catch back up with them before they reached the ruin.

Leliana had sent some scouts ahead to clear the way for them, so it turned out to be a quick and easy trip. A little tense, but not overly so. Bull was alternating between being his normal brutally playful self and watching him with curious wariness. Dorian kept asking baited questions and Damon actually had a bit of fun answering in circles. It kept his mind off of his nights. Without Cass there, he alternated between waking up with shaking hands and blood soaked dreams and sitting up as the hours dragged by, unable to sleep.

They reached the Storm Coast early evening and met up with the Chargers, who had already set up camp, saving them time. They planned to meet the Qunari contact in the morning, so far everything was right on schedule. The next morning, Damon wandered off into the woods to answer nature’s call, getting distracted for a minute or two by a weird mushroom. When he finally made his way back to camp, Dorian and Bull were sitting by the fire and Dorian was looking oddly expectant as he approached them. 

A slight disturbance in the sand caught his eye, a trace of a pattern that had him pausing midstep. He looked down at the ground and followed the impression left by a finger or the end of a staff, tracing out a complex pattern. A ward. A harmless ward that simply prevented spirits from crossing.  He'd memorized this one from that first book he'd taken from Solas. 

He looked up to see Dorian and Bull watching him warily. He focused back on the ward lines. Dorian should learn to not actually touch the sand when he cast. Guess now was when he finally gave them the answer they wanted from him.

"It'd make sense, wouldn't it. Be nice to believe. Maybe I'm a spirit of protection. An ancient guardian spirit that Emma accidentally bound to her in the fade. Maybe that's why I don't fit, why she has impossible magic and why I know things never heard of before. Maybe I was sent to protect the Herald. Would be nice to believe. Would give me a place in your world."

He looked up at Bull. "Maybe there's no Virginia, no hornless Tal Vashoth saarebas. No settlement out there with strange machines, strange ideas, strange languages. Maybe that's why Emma and I talk in nonsense. Maybe I gave Emma false memories to protect myself and her."

"It would make me fit. Would make me make sense to you, give me a place in the order of things. It would mean that everything and everybody would fall into line with what you think should be. It would mean that you can keep defining people by what they are instead of who they are. It would be easier if I was a spirit of protection."

He shook his head and stepped over the line. Dorian exhaled hard but he couldn't tell if it was relief or frustration. “If you’re not a spirit, how did you know the ward was there? You should not be able to sense it at all.”

"You shouldn't touch the sand when you cast. Makes it easy for someone to notice."

Bull laughed and shook his head, relief in the line of his shoulders. “Gotta hand it to you, Boss, you know how to play people.”

“You were too worried about the fact that you might have fucked a desire demon to think it through.” Damon huffed and kicked a foot through Dorian’s lines in the sand. It wouldn’t break the ward, but it was further visual evidence that he wasn’t a spirit. 

Bull was quiet for a long moment before he pressed his lips together and grunted. “Huh. I was.”

“Why didn’t you simply tell us?” Dorian frowned. “Surely it would have been easier than being the subject of everyone’s… curiosity.” 

“I could say I wasn’t, or I could let y’all figure out how to prove it to yourselves. You two apparently didn’t believe Solas, Cass, and Emma when they told you, why would you believe me?” And it gave him time to figure out how to play off the Otherworlder title the spirits had given him. Though right now, he would bet they’d feel too embarrassed to bring it up for a while. 

Dorian looked sheepish. “You were waiting for us to test you.”

Damon laughed and sprawled out on the sand. “Yeah. Took you long enough. Honestly, I thought you’d get this over with before we even reached Skyhold.”

“Told’em it was stupid.” Sera called from where she was brushing out Lady Knickers.

Damon chuckled and shook his head. Who'd have thought Sera would be the voice of reason in all this?

They were just putting out their camp fire when Bull stretched and popped his back with a grunt. “Alright, our qunari contact should be here to meet us.”

“He is.” An elf stepped out silently from behind a tree, causing Damon's hand to reflexively reach for his axe, and crossed his arms over his chest grinning at Bull. “Good to see you again, Hissrad.”

“Gat!” Bull exclaimed, returning the grin enthusiastically. “Last I heard, you were still in Seheron.”

The elf, Gat, relaxed even more and stepped forward confidently. “They finally decided I’d calmed down enough to go back out in the world.”

Bull grunted in acknowledgment before turning to Damon. “Boss, this is Gat. We worked together in Seheron.”

Gat gave Damon a onceover before smiling and dipping his head slightly. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Inquisitor. Hissrad’s reports say you’re doing good work.”

“Just doing what we can to save a world bent on destroying itself.” He chuckled and held out a hand. “Well met, Gat.”

Gat laughed and took the offered hand. “Hopefully this will help both our peoples.” He said as he shook firmly. The guy was good at his job, Damon had to give him that. “Tevinter is dangerous enough without the influence of this Venatori cult. If this new form of lyrium helps them seize power in Tevinter, the war with Qunandar could get worse.” 

Bull grunted again. “With this stuff, the Vints could make their slaves into an army of magical freaks. We could lose Seheron… and see a giant Tevinter army come marching back down here.”

Gat nodded and looked at Damon. “The Ben-Hassrath agree. That’s why we’re here. Our Dreadnought is safely out of view, and out of range of any Venatori mages on shore. We’ll need to eliminate the Venatori, then signal the Dreadnought so it can come in and take out the smuggler ship.”

Damon nodded thoughtfully. This was supposed to be a test for Bull, so Bull should be the one to decide. “What do you think, Bull?”

Bull grimaced and scratched his chin in thought. “Don’t know. I’ve never liked covering a Dreadnought run. Too many ways for crap to go wrong. If our scouts underestimate enemy numbers, we’re dead. If we can’t lock down the Venatori mages, the ship is dead.” He sighed and shook his head. “It’s risky.”

Gat snorted. “Riskier than letting red lyrium into Minrathous?” 

Damon rolled his shoulder and sighed before looking over and Bull and then back down at Gat. “Let’s go hold up our end of this bargain.”

Gat nodded and pulled out a small map from a pouch at his waist. “My agents suggested two possible locations the Venatori may be camped to guard the shore. There.” He tapped on the map and moved to point at another area. ”and there. We’ll need to split up and hit both at once.”

Bull nodded and stepped back slightly. “I’ll come with you, Boss. Krem can lead the Chargers. Let me fill him in. Come by when you’re ready to move.” He turned and walked back towards his men, leaving Damon to look down at Gat.

He studied the smaller man and was studied in return. He knew this was a test, and he knew Gat knew it was a test. Finally he shrugged, not able to resist letting him know he knew. “We’ll see.” 

Gat narrowed his eyes at him but didn't respond before moving off to wait for Bull to brief the Chargers. Damon groaned and scrubbed at his face with his hands. No matter what the decision was, people were going to die. Still. He hoped Bull chose to leave the Qun. 

“You know something we don't, don’t you?” Dorian’s voice sounded behind him.

Damon glanced at him and smiled wryly. “Side effect of having a know it all for a sister.” 

Dorian glanced over to where Bull stood with the Chargers. “That was not a comforting answer.”

“I’ve never pretended to be comforting, Sparkles. As far as I know, we’ll see.” He straightened his shoulders and headed to where Bull was earnestly talking to the Chargers, who were listening with amused but tolerant expressions.

“...once they’re down, send up your signal. That’ll let the Dreadnought know it’s safe to come in.” 

Krem nodded briskly. “Understood, Chief.”

If Damon had to guess, Bull was practically fretting under that stern tone. “Remember, you’re gonna want a volley to start, but don’t get suckered into fighting at range. They’ve got mages.”

Krem smirked. “It’s alright. We got a mage of our own.” 

Dalish straightened indignantly. “I’m not a mage!” A few of the other Chargers chuckled good naturedly.

Bull let the corner of his mouth quirk in a smile, but kept up with the commanding tone. “Get in close and take their enchanter down before he takes over the battlefield.”

One of the chargers, an elf woman that he knew he’d met before but it had been after too many drinks so he couldn’t remember her name, spoke up viciously.  “He’ll be dead before he knows it.” 

Bull grimaced slightly. “Just… pay attention, all right? The Vints want this red lyrium shipment bad.” 

Krem crossed his arms but his face looked playfull. “Yes, I know. Thanks, mother.” 

Bull’s spine relaxed a fraction and Damon felt like he was intruding. “Qunari don’t have mothers, remember?”

“We’ll be fine, Chief.”

Bull jerked his head in an abrupt nod. “All right, Chargers, horns up!”

“Horns up!” Krem responded and gathered up the Chargers behind him in a ready formation.

Bull turned to him grimly. “Ready whenever you are, Boss.” 

Damon nodded. “Let’s get this done.”

Bull couldn’t seem to help giving one last piece of advice to his men. “Right. Chargers! Hit ‘em hard and hit ‘em fast! When this is over, drinks are on me!”

Krem smiled. ”You got it, chief! Chargers! Double time! Let’s move!” 

The Chargers moved off towards the lower coast Gat had pointed out and Damon set off for the higher point. Dorian fell into step behind him pensively and Bull walked beside him. Gat subtly took point and Damon let him lead the way.

You gave your chargers the easier target.” Gat said as if it were just an observation.

Bull grunted, his eye narrowing slightly. “You think?”

Gat nodded, his tone still casual. “Lower and farther from the smuggler’s ship? It’s much less likely to be heavily defended.” 

“Suppose we’ll do the heavy lifting. Just like old times.”

Despite his good humored tone, Damon could tell he was feeling a little defensive. Gat laughed shortly before drawing his knives. Damon took the hint and unslung his ax. They must be nearing the Venatori camp. They fanned out a bit, Dorian casting at a distance with Sera providing cover fire. They worked seamlessly together as they fought, Bull and him timing blows perfectly together to draw a target’s attention so the other could cut them down. It didn't take them long to secure the area, Damon took a moment to breath and purposefully didn't look at the bodies strewn around the ground. This was not the time... he could berate himself for their deaths later… Bull. This was about Bull.

Bull kicked a corpse aside and grunted. “We’re clear, Gat.”  

Gat jerked his head in a nod and pulled out a flint, taking only a few seconds before the fire lit. “Right. Signalling the dreadnought.”

A streak of red light flared in the sky and Bull smiled in relieved pride. “Chargers already sent theirs up. See ‘em down there?” 

Gat smiled but Damon could see the tightness behind it. “I knew you gave them the easier job.”

“There’s the dreadnought.” Bull ignored the slightly pointed comment and sighed nostalgically. “That brings back memories.” 

Damon kept half an eye on the elf as they watched a massive, menacing ship draw into view on the ocean below. It was a matter of minutes for it to crush the smuggler ship in a barrage of cannon fire. At least the lyrium shipment was actually dealt with. 

“Nice one!” Bull laughed once before his face fell. “Crap.”

Damon followed his line of view and felt his stomach drop at the sight of a large group of Venatori advancing on the Charger’s position down the coast line. They were too far away to help, and there were too many for the Chargers to handle on their own. This was the test Emma had mentioned then.... 

“That’s a lot of ‘em…” He said quietly, mentally praying to any god around that Bull would save his men. He… he couldn’t take this choice away from him. Lives were lost either way. 

Bull sounded distressed. “Yeah…”

Gat pointed at Bull emphatically. “Your men need to hold that position, Bull.”

Bull snarled soundlessly. “They do that, they’re dead.” 

“And if they don’t, the Venatori retake it and the Dreadnought is dead. You’d be throwing away an alliance between the Inquisition and the Qunari! You’d be declaring yourself Tal Vashoth!” Gat’s voice had a note of pleading in it and Bull glared at him “With all that you’ve given the Inquisition, half the Ben-Hassrath think you’ve betrayed us already! I stood up for you, Hissrad. I told them you would  _ never _ become Tal Vashoth!”

“They’re _ my  _ men!” He looked down at the advancing Venatori and Damon could see his mental struggle. 

“I know. But you need to do what’s right, Hissrad… for this alliance, and for the Qun.” Gat said, his tone smooth and urging. 

Bull looked at Damon helplessly and Damon felt his stomach clench at the silent plea. He wanted to tell him to save his men, wanted to help him make this decision, but it had to be Bull’s choice. Fully his choice. “You know what I would choose, what I think is right. But this is your choice. I won’t tell you what to do. Just… you looked at me and I think that in itself should tell you what you want to choose.” 

Bull stared at him for a long moment before growling and raising the signal horn to his mouth and sounding the call to retreat. His shoulders dropped in relief as the Chargers slipped away from the coast line. “They’re falling back.”

Damon’s stomach lurched at the conflicting emotions that caused. He was so, so relieved that Bull had chosen them, that he was leaving the Qun. That was amazing, but everyone on that ship was going to die now. The Venatori reached the position the Chargers had held moments before and the mages turned their magic onto the Dreadnought. Bull said something to Sera about Dreadnoughts not ‘sinking’ and Damon didn’t have a chance to figure out what he meant before the massive ship exploded in a mess of shrapnel and fire. 

Gat threw his hands in the air and began pacing angrily: “All these years, Hissrad, you throw away all that you are for what? For this? For them?”

Damon stepped forward protectively. “His name is The Iron Bull.”

Bull gave him a grateful glance and Gat stepped back, his face a mask of disappointment. “So it is.” He gave Bull a scornful glance and shook his head. “I’ll bring word to Skyhold.” He started to go then stopped and looked back at Damon. “I guess we did see after all.” 

Damon gave him a curt nod. “Indeed.” 

“It was a test. You knew.” Bull’s voice was quiet as he watched Gat leave. 

“Yeah, Emma told me.”

“‘Course she did.” Sera muttered, but she seemed to be having one of her rare moments of situational awareness and didn’t crack a joke.

Bull turned that over for a moment. “What… what would you have done if I saved the dreadnought instead, Boss?”

He hesitated but answered honestly. “Sent you away.” He sighed, “If I didn't I'd have had to kill you later. I’d… rather not.” 

Dorian made a shocked sound and his knuckles paled as his grip on his staff tightened. He glanced between Damon and Bull uncertainly. 

Bull let out a soft exhale. “Feeling’s mutual. Come on. Let’s get back to my boys.” He turned and started walking before pausing and looking over his shoulder. “Thanks, Boss.”

  
  
  


Emma hissed in pain as another padded bolt from Bianca struck her back. Zevran ‘tsked’ at her and drove her backwards with a well timed kick to her stomach. She rolled with the blow, like he had taught her to do, taking away from the kick’s power.

“You aren't focused, Stella.” Zevran chided as he made a few slashes with his daggers, driving her back even more.

Her foot slipped on the loose sand on the small dune he had chosen for their session. She barely had enough time to right herself and catch his blade on hers as he struck again. Pain blossomed in her thigh as another bolt from Bianca hit its mark.

This was Zevran's new idea for her training. The bolts were ‘padded’ but that didn't take away the fact that there was over a hundred pound draw behind it, and they left huge welts and bruises that Solas had to heal for her after every session.

She tried to spin away from another slash from Zevran, but the sand shifted under her feet gain and she went down on one knee, barely blocking his dagger. Her aura flared in frustration and she shoved herself upwards under his reach. She heard the familiar cocking sound of Bianca being readied to fire and used her forward momentum to swing around Zevran. He stepped back and moved to bring the edge of his dagger along her shoulder, but stepped in the patch of shifting sand she had gone down in. He managed to keep his feet under him, but the split second of uncertain footing was enough for her to grab his arm still extended and use it to force him around and directly into the path of a padded bolt. 

It struck him directly between the shoulder blades and he grunted. “Finally! I was worried I would have to explain it to you.”

Emma stomped her foot in frustration as she released him. “Why didn’t you?! I could have avoided all of those bruises!”

He smiled and sheathed his daggers. “Stella, if I explain things to you, you practice and practice, and eventually you learn them. But if you glow and perform the feat yourself, it is then a part of you as natural as breathing.”

Emma felt her indignation drop. “Oh.”

Varric chuckled as he swung Bianca back into its holster. “Not too bad, Princess. It only took you two days to figure it out.”

Emma rolled her eyes and sheathed her daggers, before wiping the sweat from her face with her sleeve. The desert was brutally hot and training was difficult, by the time they usually finished she had completed soaked through her clothes, causing her armor to rub certain places raw. “ _ Only _ two days.”

Cassandra smirked from where she had been watching. “You do remember that most people take months to years to learn skills like that?” 

Solas hummed in affirmative, not even raising his head from the book he was currently sketching in. He sat in the shade, his back against a large rock that offered it. “I have to agree, two days to learn that technique is quite impressive, Emma’lath.” 

Cassandra made a face as she approached and held out a flask of water. “It makes one envious of your abilities at times. I know I would have prefered to magically acquire the knowledge of shield work rather than hours of drills.”

Emma stifled a laugh as she accepted the water. “I don’t think you would know what to do with your hands if you didn’t have to do drills.”

Cassandra opened her mouth to protest, but then gave a conceding head tilt. Emma smiled fondly at her and drank the blessedly cool water. Thanks to the cooling rune Solas had placed on the flask, it was actually refreshing instead of like drinking thick desert air.

They'd been there nearly a week and a half waiting on Damon to join them, hopefully with the Chargers in tow. 

After confirming that Felix’s blood was indeed returning to its previously healthy state they had left the next morning before the sun had risen. They had travelled together until they had had to split at the fork leading to the coast. Neither her nor Cass had been thrilled to separate from Damon but at least she had Solas. Cass not so much. The warrior kept casting long looks back the way they came when she thought no one was looking. It was kind of cute how she was pining. 

While they waited on Damon, they had managed to take Griffen Wing Keep without too much difficulty. She discovered she could make her light arrows explode with enough force to blow up a barricaded door. Damon was going to be sad he missed that tidbit. And after much argument, Blackwall stayed behind to help the Inquisition troops get settled… and to keep him away for Loghain, but she didn't tell him that.

She handed Cassandra back the flask once she finished and walked over to where he sat in the shade. He immediately scooted to the side a bit to allow her room and she gratefully sank down next to him, laying her head on his shoulder. “You could’ve given me a hint, you know.”

Solas chuckled and his aura wrapped around her simultaneously with his free arm. “And rob you of the satisfaction of figuring it out yourself?” He dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “I think not.”

She huffed playfully at him and looked down at the book in his lap and her breath caught at the image he had rendered. It was her with her daggers raised defensively. Her hair done in a braid with loose, flyaway strands sticking to her sweaty face, determination etched into her features and he had somehow gotten her eyes to look like they glowed even with the charcoal he had used. It was… somehow, even in her sweat covered and filthy state he  had made her look… breathtakingly fierce. She flushed, knowing she didn't look anywhere near as beautiful as the picture portrayed but evidently he was taking creative license.

Solas arm immediately tightened around her as the thought crossed her mind. “Do not think of yourself less then you are.” His other hand came around to the chin to tilt her head up to look at him. “ _ Ma ane emma, i ma ane ina'lan'ehn.” You are mine and you are beautiful. _ He whispered before he covered her lips with his. 

She nearly melted against him when Zevran’s catcall made her pull away and send an icy glare at the assassin, who merely smirked, completely unashamed. She just barely stopped herself from flipping him the finger, much to her surprise. Solas chuckled at her in amusement and she shoved his shoulder lightly.

_ I'm turning into Damon.  _ She groaned inwardly as she stood to her feet, and stretched. God she missed him. She wiped some dust from her cheek and looked back at the way they had travelled from. The scouts had said that Damon should be catching up with them either today or tonight and she kept finding her eyes searching out the horizon for them.

At this point it was more impulse than actual hope, so when she saw a line of dark figures against the glare of the sand her stomach flipped anxiously. “People incoming.”

She didn’t shout, but everyone heard her and grabbed their weapons, coming to stand by her and wait for the figures to grow close enough for them to see if they were hostile or not. The sun was hot on her head and her chest was tight with nerves by the time the figures were close enough for her to see the pair in front were much larger than the rest. Qunari, one with a distinctive set of horns and one the distinctive color of night.

Damon had kept Bull with him! That meant-! She squealed happily and took off at a run towards them, sand flinging out behind her heels as she sprinted across the desert. She was out of breath by the time she reached them, by the time she was close enough to see Damon’s grin and Krem and the rest of the Chargers following behind Bull. Damon made a playfully indignant noise when she raced past him and tackled Bull in a flying hug. He caught her and squeezed her hard enough for her to wheeze before he set her down with a laugh.

“What was that for, Lil’Bit?”

“You get to be okay!” Was she tearing up? She attacked him in another hug and this time his hands settled on her shoulders gently.

“I take it I picked the good branch?” He asked quietly. She nodded against his stomach and he let out a soul deep sigh before forcing a bit of levity into his voice. “Creepy.”

She punched his side and pulled away with a laugh. “I can’t help it.”

His eye raked over her sharply before the side of his mouth quirked up in a smile. “Thanks, Lil’Bit. Now go hug your brother before he gets jealous for real and pounds me into the dirt.”

“That’s what she said.” She said automatically, then turned red as Sera fell into the sand, cackling.

Damon let out a high pitched noise and scooped her up in a hug that had her feet dangling over the ground. “That’s the best welcome back gift I’ve ever gotten. We’ll get you joking properly in no time!” He set her down suddenly and she had to catch her balance in the shifting sand as he took off towards the rest of the group who were approaching at a more reasonable pace than an outright sprint.

She grinned as he swept Cassandra up into a spinning hug and kiss, murmuring something against her lips that had her smiling and blushing. Dorian sighed dramatically. “And I thought our resident hipster and prophet were overtly affectionate in public.”

“Just you wait, Sparkles. You’ll be putting us to shame.” 

Dorian’s head whipped towards her. “Wait. Me? What do you mean?”

Emma just grinned at him and started walking backwards towards the group. Dorian stepped after her urgently and Bull eye flicked between her and him thoughtfully.

“You can’t just say something like that and leave. What do you know? What did you see?”

Bull laughed and something loosened in his shoulders as he glanced over his Chargers and the Inner Circle of the Inquisition. His friends. 

Emma laughed and smiled at Bull over Dorian’s shoulder. “Welcome to the family, Bull.” 

  
  
  
  


Damon was relieved to finally be back with the rest of the group, mainly Cass and Emma. He hated splitting the group up like that. He knew it was necessary, blah blah blah, but the ‘inner circle’ had become a sort of found family and he didn’t like being apart too long. Life was too short for distance. But Bull was part of the family for real now, and if Emma’s joke meant anything, he and Dorian might have a happy future together. That was worth being apart for a few days. 

After his exuberant greeting of Cassandra (she pretended that she didn’t like public displays of affection, but he could see how delighted she was to act out the reunion scene from Swords and Shields.) he had caught up on the little bit of action that he had missed. There wasn’t much, the Chargers moved fast, but Emma and the others had already cleared out and claimed Griffon Wing Keep which had been full of Venetori.  He w as a little disappointed that Emma had decided to leave Blackwall at the Keep to ‘help out the troops’ as well as whatever other reason she had decided that he needed to stay behind. It was a good idea, but he didn’t really get much time to get to know the guy and now he was missing out on more. ?? 

They decided to keep moving while they had daylight and try to get as close to the Ritual Tower as they could before night fall. They needed to deal with the mage guy as soon as possible. He knew that they were going to lose some lives to the blood magic ritual, but maybe they could save as many as they could. 

He was pretty tired though, what with the double time march, Bull’s personal crisis (lots of the feelings stick), and his own head keeping him from sleeping. He tried to keep a good face on, but Cass must have noticed him listing in the saddle or something because she called a halt before the sun had even touched the horizon. 

He started to argue with her that they needed to keep moving, but she just pinned him with a fierce glare.

“We will continue in the morning, Inquisitor.” She put a weird inflection on the title that had him holding up his hands in surrender.

He couldn’t let his exhaustion cloud his thinking with so many depending on him. She was right. He tried to help set up camp, but she reached up and grabbed his shoulder and pushed downwards. He instinctively followed the pressure of her palm and found himself sitting in the sand. He blinked up at her, confused, and she smiled. “Stay. We will take care of it. If you absolutely must do something, save us from Sera’s attempts at your oatcakes.” 

The elf in question blew a raspberry as she dropped a supply pack onto his legs, “Wasn't that bad.”

Varric shook his head. “Buttercup, it really was. Never again, please.”

Bull laughed quietly and elbowed Dorian hard enough to make the mage stagger a half step. “He cooked for us the whole trip. Krem won’t shut up about these little egg things inside toast.” 

Dorian huffed and straightened his clothes, trying to pretend to be aggravated despite the slight blush on his cheeks. “Must you punctuate your sentences with your brute strength?” ??

Cassandra patted Damon’s shoulder and he reached up to squeeze her fingers gently before he moved to set up the cooking supplies by the magical fire Solas had conjured. Sera didn’t look happy about the magical flame, but there wasn’t much wood in a desert to burn and they weren’t too keen on cooking over dried gurn dung. 

Of course, Damon didn’t cook eggs in a hole because eggs spoiled too quickly in the heat. Instead he went with the standard fried meat and potatoes, liberally seasoned with salt and some of the spices that Skinner had pickpocketed off of Gatt before they had split ways. 

The group fell on the food like a murder of ravenous crows and Damon felt a contented smile resting on his face as he watched them. Cass was sitting next to him, her thigh pressed against his in a solid line of comfort as they ate. 

They had just finished eating when he noticed Emma near the horses. She pulled a raven from its cage and attached a tiny scroll to its leg. She petted its head gently before encouraging it to take flight. She watched if fly away with a furrowed brow before slipping off to her and Solas’ tent.

“Another one of her secrets, no doubt.” Cass whispered next to him. She had apparently noticed Emma as well. Her voice held no anger or suspicion, just observation and acceptance. “I do not envy her.”

“Me neither. Stuff’s heavy enough without knowing everything ahead of time.” He glanced at Bull again, reassuring himself that he really was okay. He was. Everyone was okay right now.  

Cassandra bu mped his shoulder with hers. “We are all well. Stop fretting and enjoy the evening.” 

“I am not fretting.” Damon wrinkled his nose in denial.

“I fell from my horse yesterday.” She said nonchalantly.

A sharp spike of concern lanced through his gut and his eyes ran over her as if he could see an injury through her armor. She laughed and flicked her hand in a ‘there you go’ gesture she had picked up from him. “Varric says he will cherish the memory forever.”

He exhaled and rolled his eyes at her proving her point. “Okay, yes, I fret over y’all. I just…”

“Care deeply. And we care for you as well. So do us a favor and relax while we can? Or I will ask Sera for that powder of hers that makes a person lose their balance and giggle like a maniac.”

“Ma’am, yes, ma’am.”  Damon chuck led and pulled Cassandra closer to his side. She went willingly and laid her head on his shoulder with a contented sigh. He kissed the top of her head gently. Somehow she always knew what to say to him. He was pretty damn lucky that even though she saw his messed up head first hand she still wanted to stick by him. It was good to be back with her.

“Do you th-” he was cut off by a loud high pitched squeaky scream that came from Emma and Solas’ tent. Suddenly, Emma was no longer in the tent but standing at the far side of camp, brushing frantically at her legs and missing her tunic. 

Damon grabbed the saddleblanket that had been left nearby and rushed over to drape it over her shoulders. He hadn't seen her run out of the tent, it was more like she just appeared there in front of them with some sort of fuzziness that made his eyes itch. “EmTi, you ok? What happened?”

Emma turned around, absently clutching the blanket over her chest, and blinked at the tent with a confused expression, “I… uh… that…” she looked completely stunned and was unable to explain.

Solas calmly exited the tent in a similar state of undress, albeit with a amused smile, dragging his bedroll behind him. 

“Dude, what happened?” Damon’s question was answered when Solas shook out the bedroll and nearly a dozen lizards tumbled out from between the layers. Sera.

“Sera.” Emma groaned, evidently coming the the same confusion.

The elf in question immediately started cackling, “Sh’not my fault, they was in his roll, not yours.”

Damon snickered and Emma’s face flushed bright red. “So all that was obvious, I meant how’d you end up out here with fuzzy air?” 

Solas chuckled, looking not at all bothered by the fact he was standing there in nothing but knee length pants. It was the first time Damon had actually seen the elf without a shirt. Dude was actually really built under all those layers he wore. No wonder Em got so upset when he called him scrawny. “It seems we have Sera’s lizards to thank for Emma’s sudden discovery of Fade step.”

Damon felt his eyebrows shoot up. As far as he’d read, that was a pretty advanced magical skill. “Huh. Cool. Hey, Lil’bit, you might wanna go back inside. I’m sure the lizards are gone now.” 

Emma looked at him questioningly and at his pointed look at the blanket over her shoulders she immediately flushed red and pulled it tighter to her chest. “Son of a motherless goat!” She exclaimed as she rushed back toward the tent. “Sera… this means war!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates will still be a bit long in between due to adult life, but here's another chapter!


	51. Chapter 51

Damon had taken strips of salt pork and fried them in lard in a sort of mock bacon. There were camp biscuits baking on a stone by the fire, a pot of Dorian’s coffee was bubbling, and the ‘bacon’ was sizzling as the sun came up over the wavy horizon. The party gathered quickly, except for Solas and Emma. They were the last to stumble out of their tent, even later than Sera.

“Bull, if you eat all the bacon before I have a chance to have any, I'm shaving your eyebrow off!” Emma growled at him playfully as she made her way to the fire. 

Bull was mid bite on a strip of bacon but he froze and pulled it from his mouth guiltily. “You want mine?” He held the piece of meat out to her and she wrinkled her nose.

Before any threats could be enacted, Damon pulled two flat biscuits shoved full of fried pork from the napkin he had been hiding next to him and held them out to Emma and Solas. “Saved you some. Bull can rest easy another day.”

“You’re lucky.” Emma narrowed her eyes and accepted the breakfast sandwich.

“Mm. Boss has all the luck.” Krem sprawled into Hawke’s lap as he spoke. Hawke froze, her hands hovering awkwardly like she didn’t know whether to push the mercenary off of her lap or not. 

“Would’a ‘erved ya right tho’.” Sera said around a mouthful of her food. “Sleepin’ stead’a eatin’.”

Solas arched a brow at her. “Who says I wasn't ‘eating’?” Emma promptly choked and flushed bright red and Solas gave a satisfied smirk.

Zevran draped himself across Damon’s back and rested his chin between his horns. “It seems The Iron Bull is not the only one with all of the luck!” 

Cassandra casually pushed the elf off of him and began finger combing Damon’s hair out of yesterday’s braid. Damon huffed a laugh as Zevran pouted up at her from the sandy ground.  Damon let his eyes half close in pleasure as Cassandra deftly braided his hair back up and his friends bantered and wrestled like Mabari puppies. Zevran had somehow managed to lay on top of Krem, thereby pinning both Hawke and him to the ground while Sera cackled and painted their boots with a vial of blue paint she had produced from nowhere. Damon could see Bull’s face go soft with a fond expression as the Chargers playfully swept in to ‘rescue’ Krem from Zevran and Sera.

Cassandra patted his shoulder in the signal that she was done, but bent down and whispered close enough to his ear that her breath tickled. “They are like a pack of puppies, are they not?”

He couldn’t turn his head without clipping her face with a horn so he just smiled and shrugged a shoulder to lightly bump her chin. “Yeah. We probably need to stop adopting so many.”

She laughed and stood straight. “You say that now, but the next time we come across a deadly person with a strange backstory you will be asking me if we can keep them.”

“True.” He grinned and stood up with a stretch. “Alright, puppers, time to pack up and march out!” 

Emma groaned from her spot on Solas’ lap. “Can we just… not today? That would be great.” She laughed half heartedly as what they were fixing to face came back to her mind. Then she sighed, rubbing her hand down her face. “I'm convinced something up there hates me.” 

“Maybe, but we have to even. We’re big damn heroes, Electra, we gotta do the thing and save the galaxy because we’re some of the idiots living in it.” Damon snorted and moved aside so a scout could gather up the cooking supplies. 

Solas signed a few of the words but threw up his hands in exasperation when he couldn’t string them together. Hawke opened her mouth, no doubt to ask what he was talking about, but Skinner reached up and put a single finger over her lips.

“No.” 

“But-”

“No!” Several voices around the camp rang out.

Despite the playfulness, the camp was broken down efficiently and it wasn’t long before the very armed and very dangerous group of misfits was marching off to meet up with Loghain at the ritual tower. They grew steadily quieter and more serious as the minutes passed, and by the time the silhouette of the tower appeared they were silent and battle ready. Emma had warned them that there would be fighting so everyone was on alert as they quietly trudged through the hot sand.  

They approached the Ritual tower and Hawke pointed at a shadow against a ruined wall. They angled their course to head straight for it and as they got closer it became obvious that it was a distressed but composed Loghain. Damon felt the hair on the back of his neck bristle as they got closer. The air had the electric feeling that he got when he linked up with Emma or when Cole did spirity things close by him. 

Loghain greeted them with a wary glance at Emma. “I’ve heard a lot of activity, but haven’t dared approach by myself if what the Herald says is true.”

Hawke set her mouth into a grim line. “Unfortunately, it usually is. Well, shall we go interrupt them?”

Damon gave a sharp nod and they arranged into their normal defensive arrangement with the warriors protecting the rogues and mages. Emma was close behind him and after a quick and slightly approving glance from Loghain, the Warden fell into step beside him with Hawke close behind. They could hear some voices and the sibilant growls of demons as they climbed the steps. 

When they were near the top of the steps, they heard a man say something in a panicked tone, and then an exasperated response from a mage in Venatori robes. One of the Warden mages, one not standing next to an actual demon, pulled a dagger suddenly, and just as suddenly one of Emma’s light arrows punched through his skull.

Everyone froze for a split second in shock as the Warden mage crumpled to the ground, the Venatori’s mouth was hanging open, and that was enough time for another light arrow to drop a mage standing next to a demon. Damon shook off his shock at Emma’s unexpected and unannounced slaying of the mages and charged one of the demons.

With the whole group working together it was short work to clear out the demons and bound mages. Unfortunately, the Venetori had somehow managed to slip away while they were cutting down the rage demons.

Emma kicked the ground and sent up a spray of sand. “Son of a biscuit! He got away!” The venomous tone in her voice caused some to throw her concerned looks.

“We’ll find him, Princess.” Varric said as he shouldered Bianca and patted her arm.

“I hoped…” Emma shook her head taking a deep breath and looked over at Damon. “Adamant. He's going to Adamant.” 

“Ah. That’s what the raven was about.” Cassandra hummed.

“Yeah. I had Cullen start moving troops to Adamant.” Emma slung her bow onto her back and glanced at the only remaining Warden, who looked a bit shell shocked. “At least we saved one.” She said quietly.

Damon glanced at the man, who had dropped down to sit on one of the crumbling steps with his head in his hands, and nodded. He would have been sacrificed then. Bull leaned over from the wall he had cleared and gave the all clear signal. Instantly, the alert tension drained out of his spine. He walked away from the group and around the corner to breathe, to process. The image of the light arrow punching through that mage’s skull without warning kept replaying in his mind. He knew it was necessary, that it had saved that warden, but… it was Emma. Emma had shot him without hesitation. 

He leaned against the heated stones of the wall and closed his eyes. He never wanted this for her. He wanted to protect her. She was so… Emma. She was compassion and caring and impish love, not… ruthless protection. That was his job. He was supposed to be the sharp to her soft. The shield to her instant caring. He needed to do better, to protect her from the bloody harshness of Thedas and keep her from losing her softness. He had to do better.

A crunch of sand had Damon shaking his head. “I’m fine, Cass. Just need a minute to get my head straight.” 

There was silence after his words, but no sound of footsteps leaving. He opened his eyes and looked over to see Loghain eyeing him sharply. Instantly the alertness shot back through his spine and he pushed away from the wall.

“You need something?” He kept his tone even despite feeling wary and disgusted at having to deal with a slaver. 

Loghain studied him for a moment before leaning against the wall closest to him. “I'm not blind. You and the others in your company didn't expect the… Herald’s actions.” 

A strained laugh escaped Damon’s chest. “No, sure as shit didn’t. But did you need something? You didn’t say.” 

Loghain looked out over the sand dunes. “I have questions that only beget more questions.” 

“I feel ya, but probably better to ask the prophet than the guy who swings an ax, yeah?” Damon quirked an eyebrow. Really, most people figured that out by themselves. 

Loghain tapped the wall he was leaning against with the hilt of his sword. “There are far too many walls about for me to do that.” 

Damon snickered at the reminder of Emma blasting him into a wall. Guy had a sense of humor, but- “Look, I get you have questions but I don’t really like havin’ to deal with slavers and shit, so, if it’s mission important spit it out already.” 

Loghain’s brow furrowed. “Ahh… that.”

“Yeah. ‘That’.” Damon said flatly, wishing he knew the whole story, all the ins and outs and details that made up this whole fucked up situation. 

Loghain straightened his shoulders and took a breath. “I am many things, boy, but ‘slaver’ is not one of them.”

Damon eyed him suspiciously, his mind racing to connect the information he had collected, had gotten from Emma. and what the guy was saying. His brain settled on an answer and his eyes widened in surprise. He’d dealt with Anora enough to believe this. “Oh. Daughter dearest took daddy’s seal, didn’t she?” 

Loghain’s flinch was minuscule but it was enough for him to tell he had guessed right.  “What my daughter did-” he stopped himself and shook his head, unable or unwilling to continue.

“I met her, you know. Your daughter. Ended up yelling at her.” Damon leaned back against the wall and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Didn’t know she was a queen at the time, but once I did I kinda threatened her with a peasant revolt. That was after she called me an ox man and tried to take EmTi away from me an’ Solas.” Damon watched Loghain closely but casually for his reaction. 

Loghain studied the ground in front of him as he listened to Damon, only to take a deep breath and look out over the dunes of the desert once more. “I regret many things in my life, Inquisitor. My daughter’s actions make it clear that I have failed her as much, if not more, than I have failed my own country.” He gave a bitter laugh at the end. “Your Herald was correct in part, the fault for what happened ultimately lay with me.”

Damon eyed him for a long moment before sighing and leaning his head back against the wall. Guy was sincere. Not even Leliana had managed to pull off that bitter note in a laugh. And Damon could definitely understand seeing that even if the road to hell was paved with good intentions it still led to hell.  “Fair ‘nuff. Question for a question, Loghain?”

Loghain pondered it for a moment before he nodded, his shoulders seemed to relax just a fraction. “When we first met, when I accused her of not stopping the Wardens… she said, ‘The Wardens were already under Corypheus’ influence before I…-’ she did not finish.” The guy was sharp, he’d give him that. “How long has she been able to ‘see’ what is to come?”

Damon exhaled sharply. “About a decade or so. But it’s… complicated.” That was around the time she had first started gushing over the franchise to him.

Loghain grunted. “As everything seems to be in this age.”

“Damn fucking right.” Damon rubbed his eyes in sympathetic exhaustion. “Were you and Maric ‘together’?” It would explain a lot of what he had heard about the pair, maybe turn up some motivations and connections.

The man choked on his own air and coughed roughly before casting Damon a glare. “No… Maric was a friend… nothing more.” Loghain paused before looking down, his expression falling from anger to sadness. “I, however, was not always the most deserving of his friendship.” 

Damon hummed and tucked that comment away for later. “Your turn.”

Loghain tapped his hand against the wall in thought. “What were you, before? You fight well but neither of you hold yourselves as seasoned warriors.”

Damon flashed his teeth in a smile. “We was raised on a farm. When we grew up Em became a researcher an’ I became a bookkeeper.” He shrugged at Loghain’s incredulous look. “S’true. I ain’t never picked up an ax before the hole in the sky there. Least a fightin’ ax. I can chop a stack o’ firewood in ten minutes flat.” 

Loghain shook his head and sighed. “I had forgotten your spymaster was once a bard.” He waved his hand in a ‘proceed’ motion.

Damon laughed. “She’s got that same frustration ‘bout me. Should see her eye twitch when she asks me shit.” He sobered and quietly asked. “But my question is, is it true you tried to get Cailen to leave the battle?” 

Loghain’s eyes dropped to the ground and Damon saw the flash of remorse flit over his features before it was replaced with cold acceptance. “Yes.” His answer was sharp and cutting.

“One moment, I see heroic Grey Wardens lighting the fire and a power-mad villain sneering as he lets King Cailan fall. The next, I see an army overwhelmed and a veteran commander refusing to let more soldiers die in a lost cause." Damon murmured, remembering one of Solas’ stories about the quirks of the Fade . 

Loghain’s hands balled into fists and he seemed to be struggling to keep his composure.

Damon winced, realizing this was probably painful for the guy. He could see why Emma hated him, but he was finding it a little harder to. “Sorry. I’ll give you two questions for that.” 

But Loghain no longer seemed interested in swapping questions as he turned suddenly and punched the wall behind him with a feral growl. Afterwards he leaned against it with both palms flat against the hot stone as he tried to calm his breathing. “Do you think I wanted to see my daughter husbandless? Rowan’s son march off to his death? The boy would be alive if he had but listened, but he did not see the danger, did not see the foolhardiness of his actions. ‘Glory in battle’.” Loghain spat at nobody in particular. “He was a boy who knew nothing of battle, nothing of its horror. He wouldn't let me protect him from it.” His eyes suddenly widened as if realizing he had just spoken aloud. His gaze snapped to Damon’s with barely veiled panic.

Damon didn’t know what to say. ‘Trying to live up to his father’s legacy’ ‘trying to prove he’s a good king’ ‘trying to get his name in history’ ‘youth realizes not their own mortality’ ’Rowan’s son instead of Maric’s son’. None of what he was thinking was probably good to say out loud, especially when it looked like he was freaking out about accidentally oversharing. Instead he fished in his pockets for the little tub of elfroot salve one of the servants had given him when he had scraped his arm helping her catch her kitten. “Here.” He offered it to Loghain. Guy had messed up his knuckles pretty bad. 

Loghain was slow to focus on the object, but when he did he scowled at the tub in puzzled anger. “What is that?”

Damon popped the cork lid out and dabbed a bit on his wrist to show it was safe before holding it back out to the warden. “Reward for getting a kitten out of a tree. It’ll help those most likely fractures you gave yourself heal faster.” 

Loghain looked down at his knuckles and made a noise in the back of his throat as if the damage had just registered in his mind. Damon popped the cork back in and set the salve onto a rock jutting from the ruined wall before stepping back to give the guy his space. 

  
  


Emma felt sick. She wasn't able to stop it. She had thought long and hard. Adamant was bloody and terrible, but if she could somehow bypass it… if she could've taken out Erimond she might have been able to talk Clarel down without bloodshed. But no, Erimond had gotten away. Now Adamant, the Fade, Fear, Loghain… it was all unavoidable.

They made camp not far from the ritual tower, the fires from Adamant could be seen from the opening of her tent flap. Ever since the tower, everyone had been acting strangely. They didn't joke and banter back and forth like they usually did, instead she kept catching them watching her with furrowed brows then glancing away. She didn't know if it was the thought of a battle soon to be fought or simply the addition of Loghain.

Loghain gave her a wide berth the rest of the day, for which she was grateful. Solas and Damon, however, had been hovering… almost suffocatingly so. Damon was now, thankfully, cooking while Solas, sensing her need to have a few moments alone, had moved off somewhere out of sight. Although she held no illusions that he wasn’t still close by and could appear at the slightest indication that she needed him.

She found a corner between two tents that kept her mostly out of sight but still had enough light from the setting sun that she could read for a little bit. She needed a break. She had just settled into her little nook when she heard Hawke make a gruff noise in her throat from around the corner of the tent.

“What happened to your hand?”

“Walls and I seem to be having a falling out of late.” Loghain’s voice answered back, his tone light but with an underlying hint of exhaustion.

“I thought you and the Herald were doing well at avoiding each other?” Hawke sounded concerned under her humorous tone. Why did she like that traitor? 

“This was self inflicted, I'm afraid.” After a second he sighed. “Stop staring at me like that. The Inquisitor hit a chord.”

Emma’s eyebrows rose as she let her book drop into her lap as well as her pretense that she wasn’t eavesdropping. Damon had yelled at Loghain? How had she not noticed that? 

“He get you talking about shit you didn't mean to ever speak of in your lifetime?” Silence followed the question, but Hawke must have taken that as an answer. “Yeah. It happens with him. You need something for that hand? Looks broken a bit.” 

“He gave me something for it.” There was another stretch of silence before Loghain sighed and spoke again. “What do you make of him, if I may ask?” 

Hawke hummed in thought before answering. “He’s different but sincere, very protective of the Herald, kind, a killer sense of humor, fiercely loyal to his friends, and overall great guy. Very… persuasive in a way that leaves you not realizing you went along with him until later.”

Emma smiled fondly as she nodded in agreement from her reading nook. Hawke had a pretty good idea of what Damon was like then. 

There was silence for a moment before Loghain finally spoke. “He said things that he should not know of, but it sounded as if he… I am not certain.”

Hawke hummed again. “Emma probably told him some things, they're pretty thick. But yeah, he's got a way of getting people to talk... He’s just… I dunno. You just don’t think about it until you’re telling him your deepest darkest secret and then he gives you a hug or some shit.” 

Loghain snorted in amusement. “A tub of elfroot salve in my case.” 

Emma rolled her eyes. Damon was always helping everyone. 

“Damon is as unique as the Herald.” Wait? What was Solas doing? Loghain didn't need to know anything about them! She felt a wave of his calming aura though their bond and she flushed slightly in embarrassment that she had been caught eavesdropping. “His strength of will nearly surpasses Emma's own. Unlike the Herald, he is not a mage so his will manifests itself differently.”

“I dunno, Solas. Sounds an awful lot like magic to me.” Varric’s baritone piped up. “Last time you said someone didn’t have magic, they cast a spell with no magic and then turned into a freakishly powerful mage through your-” He hesitated, probably getting a sharp look from Solas. “Tutoring.”

“Well. it would seem that our dear Inquisitor will not be turning into a mage then, as he is apparently not overly fond of ‘scrawny tutoring’.” Zevran purred. 

Emma blinked. Seriously, how was she not hearing these guys approach? Both of them are rogues, sure, but come on.

“Mages use their will to direct the energy of the Fade, Templars use their will to enforce reality. Damon uses his will in his ability to connect with people, his charisma, you might say, to bring about what he believes is important.” 

Emma felt her mouth drop open at that. She knew people loved him, that he could just sweep in, figure out what was going on, and fix it, that people talked to him, but she hadn’t realized that he had some sort of actual ability. 

Loghain grunted. “So digging up secrets is important to him?”

“Trust is important to him. Healing is important. Understanding and empathy are important to him.” Solas’ voice was low and with a hint of fondness creeping in as he spoke.

Hawke laughed. “Damn. He get you too?” 

Solas chuckled. “I doubt there is a one of us here that he did not ‘get to’.”

“Only one that knows more secrets than Boss is that spirit he likes so much. Maybe the Nightingale.” Bull chimed in. Emma startled at his voice. She hadn’t heard his footsteps either. 

“Emma is not on your list?” Solas asked, his voice amused.

“Nah. Lil’bit doesn’t know secrets, she knows what happens and the people who make it happen.” There was a pause then a little louder. “Isn't that right, Lil’bit?”

Dagnabbit! Emma poked her head around the corner and glared at Bull. “I was not eavesdropping…” at his arched brow she frowned. “I mean... I was, but it wasn't intentional… I was here first.”

“Ah, Emma dear, you understand the rules of eavesdropping perfectly well.” Emma blinked at Dorian. How? Really? She was concerned that she had sand in her ears or something now. How was Dorian standing right next to Bull?

”Well, Feathers, I think I know what your next training session should entail.” Varric laughed. 

Zevran nodded with a mischievous light in his eyes. “So it would seem.”

Loghain was standing rigidly with a blank expression. He bowed stiffly. “Lady Herald. I will take my leave.” 

“No… no.” She stood quickly and picked up her book. “I'm just leaving. Not enough light to read anymore.” She then glared at Bull and wiggled the book in the air. “See the book? I was reading. It wasn't my fault!” 

Solas chuckled. “Of course not, Emma’lath.”

Bull shook his head, grinning. “Whatever you need to tell yourself, Lil’bit.”

Emma stuck out her tongue at them causing them all to chuckle as she turned on heel and retreated to her tent. From by the fire she faintly heard Cassandra laugh at something Damon must have said. “Another puppy?”


	52. Chapter 52

They packed up camp the next morning to start out for the Silent Temple Emma had marked out for them. They had plenty of time to reach it and take care of the Venetori and ‘creepy stuff’ before Cullen’s troops reached Adamant from Skyhold. They had split from the Chargers. The Chargers were headed to Adamant to keep an eye on the place and make sure the path was clear for the Inquisition troops, while the “Inner Circle” headed to the Temple. Emma had laid out a basic explanation for what they would find in the temple, her face scrunched up in concentration as she told them all what she could remember. Damon noticed that Loghain had an odd expression the whole time that looked like a mixture of skepticism and wariness. The rest just listened intently and maybe asked a question or two as they travelled. 

Damon noticed Loghain kept a watchful eye on Emma from his chosen place in the back. The guy seemed to enforce a self imposed distance from the rest of the group; only Hawke and Solas seemed to try and include him in the banter with the rest. The rest varied from Dorian and Bull’s polite small talk, to Sera simply ignoring him, to Emma giving him ‘subtle’ glares and moving away if he happened to accidentally venture into her line of sight. 

He felt uneasy about the warden still, but it wasn’t the mistrustful disgust that it had been before the ‘talk’. He still didn’t completely trust the guy, but he didn’t hate him. He needed more information to be honest, but Loghain was slipping away from him as well. 

He sighed and looked at the sky. The sun was on it’s downward path, but still pretty high in the sky. However, MoFo was huffing as he pulled his hooves from the sand and the other mounts were looking pretty heated. They had been walking to spare the horses, but it was still hard work to pull their legs from the shifting sand. None of them were desert ponies and it showed. He looked around for a good place to camp and rest the horses. There was a large boulder nearby that would protect them from the afternoon sun and provide miles of clear view to whoever was on watch. “Alright. Put on the brakes and break out the margaritas.” 

He grinned as several blank looks were directed his way and Emma rolled her eyes with a smile. “He said let’s make camp and relax.”

Loghain scowled, but it was a puzzled sort of scowl instead of an angry sort of scowl. Damon got the feeling the guy’s face was just like that. 

“What's a margarita?” Hawke piped up.

“Hawke!” Varric groaned. “When will you lear-”

“It’s a hard liquor with lime and salt.”

“Oh. That wasn’t actually that bad.” Varric said with mock shock. 

“Speechless, I know, right?” Emma chuckled as she pulled her pack from Caramel’s saddle and started to head for where Solas was laying out their tent. Her face fell when she was intercepted by a grinning Crow. 

“Tsk tsk, not so fast, Stella.” Zevran took her pack from her hand and tossed it in Solas’ direction. Surprisingly, the mage caught it without missing a beat. He seemed to be slipping out of his Hobo apostate persona a little more, slowly enough that it seemed to be a natural personality change brought about by ‘the end of the world’. Dude was smart. 

Damon grinned and finished untacking MoFo quickly so he could settle in to watch. Emma’s training with Zevran was always interesting. By the time he had brushed the warhorse down and passed him off to a scout with ice magic to get watered and tethered, (they had been melting magically conjured ice down for water during the trip, an idea of his that had blown some minds but had really cut down on their load weight), Emma was currently sparring with both Zevran and Bull, mixing up tactics to deal with both rogue and warrior. Her eyes were faintly shimmering as she sparred, but she was relying less and less on pulling knowledge from the fade and the shimmer was nowhere near the all out glow he’d seen when she’d first started training. 

Damon settled on the sand and leaned his back against the large boulder. She was getting good, he could see fewer and fewer openings left when she moved, and more and more openings in her opponent's’ defenses exploited. Maybe soon he’d offer to spar with her. He bet that would be fun. 

“She does not watch her left side and puts too much weight on her back leg when she feints.”

Damon hid his surprise at Loghain willingly coming back to talk to him and just hummed, seeing what the man had pointed out. “Yeah. She’s too used to dancing by a wall.” He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled. “Hey, You gonna go Skywalker, Davy Jones?” 

Emma’s eyes shot over to him before her form quickly corrected itself, as she spun away from Zevran’s attack against her left side. 

“Do not help her,” Zevran scolded, casting him a light scowl. “Let her learn for herself.”

Damon rolled his eyes but raised his hands in surrender. He wasn’t gonna argue with her teacher. “Everyone knows I’m full of nonsense, Honey.” He said playfully.

Bull roared, knocking Emma onto her back, but before he brought his axe close she used her magic to throw a spray of sand into his eyes. She used the distraction to somersault to her feet and get behind him, running the blunt side of her daggers along the back of his knees.

“Fwoosh, you’re also on fire!” She panted happily as she fade stepped away from Zevran’s sneak attack. 

“Heh. Pocket sand.” Damon rummaged in his pack and pulled out his knitting to work on while he had the time. 

They watched them spar for a good twenty minutes before Zevran finally called an end to it and Solas met Emma with a waterskin and a kiss before leading her towards where Cass had set up a fire. Loghain had remained silent throughout the rest, though Damon could practically hear the guy’s mind running. 

“I still have two questions, if I recall correctly.” He said after a few moments.

“Sure do. Shoot.” Damon glanced up from his knitting but kept stitching as he watched Loghain. 

Loghain pulled a confused scowl before shaking his head and jerking his chin in the direction of Emma and Solas. The pair had settled down together next to the fire, Emma sprawled between his legs and leaning back against the mage. “How does the Chantry feel about their ‘holy figure, Andraste’s Herald’ with an elven Apostate? By the matching rings I gather they are married.”

“Inwardly frothing at the mouth, but outwardly either ignoring it or proclaiming Andraste is trying to remind us that elves were part of the Exalted March. There was also that deal of the ‘Herald being carried physically from the fade by a qunari and then coming back from the dead while holding an elven baby and led by an elf after defeating a would be god’, so you know: promotions and assassinations all around.” Damon chuckled then cocked his head, “And yeah, tied the knot a few weeks back.”

Loghain hummed thoughtfully but it came off sorta like a growl. “And you are not concerned?”

“She’s got so many dangerous people willing to protect her that I’m not too worried about chantry assassins. Plus, as you saw, she can also take care of herself. “ Damon shrugged. She was as safe as she could be. 

Loghain huffed a wry laugh, “Of that I have no doubt.” Then he sobered. “I meant marriage to an elven Apostate.” Damon’s head snapped towards him with a narrow glare, but Loghain immediately raised his hands. “Peace, I only meant, could he not be reaching for power through her?”

Damon had to take a moment to stifle some giggles and keep his face straight. That was too funny. Finally he shook his head. “No, no, I’m not worried about that. He’s a good dude. I trust him. Also, the influence he’s got he earned himself.” He tilted his head. “That was two.” 

Loghain nodded and leaned against the boulder, seeming to relax, but Damon noticed the tension that still clung to him as he mentally prepared for anything Damon might ask. Damon decided to toss him an easy question simply because the guy seemed like he had more, but Damon didn’t want to push him right now and Ilaan would love to have confirmation from the source about something. “Were the Night Elves really a thing?” 

Loghain surprisingly chuckled, “After the war, noone wanted to believe that one of the key reasons we won our freedom was due to the cunning of elves.”

“Yeah. Seems to be a theme. Wonder if we win if they’ll paint over my horns next age.”

Loghain nodded, “Not even the next age, I'm afraid.”

He snorted in agreement and gestured to Loghain to indicate it was his turn.

The man looked around like he was taking in the scenery but Damon could tell he was checking to see if anybody was in earshot. “Inquisitor, I've sacrificed much for my daughters… actions.” He said slowly. “Will those sacrifices be for nought?”

Damon turned that question over in his head, trying to figure out exactly what he meant. Elves… Daughter… Sacrifices… oh! He was wondering if he was going to tell anyone about Anora using his seal? Emma might use that later if she knew, but Damon had no intention of saying anything. He was staying out of that. “I’ve got no plans to say anything.” 

Loghain nodded grimly as he pushed himself from the boulder. “I'll take my leave then. My thanks, Inquisitor.”

“Yeah. Save the thanks till supper, I think Sera is gonna try and get me to make french toast with those eggs she dug out of that bandit camp a ways back.” 

Loghain paused and glanced at him curiously. Damon grinned lopsidedly. “It’s a thing I cook that people ‘round here seem to love. You’ll see. She’s good at talking me into cooking.” 

“Hey, Quizzie! You gonna make that fried bread shite?” Sera called out as if on cue. “I found eggs!”

“Sure!” He called back, then shrugged at Loghain. “See?”

Loghain snorted in amusement before shaking his head and walking away. Damon leaned back against the boulder and focused on his stitching. He found it interesting that the guy had been worried about him exposing Anora. That was… relatable to be honest. 

  
  


Emma tried not to let her emotions get the best of her, she really did try. Hawke stuck by Loghain until they reached camp. Solas called back several times to gain his opinion on whatever they had been speaking of and while she had been training Loghain had spoken with Damon, and they had kept talking until after she had finished. 

Supper had been difficult for her, everyone joked and laughed at Varric's stories. Sera and him had asked for another story from her but the thought of telling a story with Loghain present turned her stomach. Her sharp ‘no’ gained her a few looks of concern.

The last straw was when Cassandra asked Loghain to share some of his experiences fighting alongside Maric liberating Fereldon from the Orlesian occupation. 

Emma swiftly rose to her feet. “Goodnight.” The last thing she wanted to hear from the man was his so called ‘heroism’. She ducked into her and Solas’ tent and yanked off her boots huffing in frustration before falling onto her bedroll. 

She hadn't been there long before Solas opened the flap and stepped in. “Emma’lath.” His voice was soothing as it always was but at that moment Emma wished it wasn't. When she didn't answer him he sighed and sat down to remove his footwraps. His sweater and overshirt soon followed, and were folded and neatly set aside before he joined her on the bedroll.

She allowed him to pull her to his chest. “Your emotions are like a whirlwind, Emma’lath.” 

“Are they?” She tried to keep the bitterness from her voice but failed drastically. She didn't even know why she tried, their bond ensured Solas knew exactly what she was feeling. 

Solas bent his head and kissed her shoulder. “Do you want to tell me why your anger flowed more today than all the time I have known you combined?”

Emma tried to pull away but he held on, not allowing her to escape. “I just…” she didn't know how to answer the question without sounding childish.

“Ahh… this is about the Warden.” Emma groaned, of course he’d figure it out first guess. Solas chuckled, evidently reading her aura. “It isn't hard, your anger has only been this sharp in his presence.”

Emma shook her head. “You've seen my memories,” she sighed. “you know what he did, the Wardens, Cailan, the elves, to… Alistair.” She said the last part in a near whisper. “I just… why are they even speaking with him? Why are you? He’s a traitor… Fereldon is in the shape it's in now because of him.”

Solas hummed. “Many would say this world is in the shape it is in because of my actions, Emma’lath.”

Emma felt herself stiffen and she shook her head. “No Solas, it's different.”

“Is it though?” His voice was low against her ear. “I caused the death of many of my people because of my short sightedness.”

Emma shook her head again and tried to turn to look at him but his arms held her firmly. “It wasn't just shortsightedness, Solas. I saw him abandoned Cailan. I saw him blame the Wardens. I saw-”

“You saw one side, Emma’lath.” He cut her off, “What you saw him as was the ultimate antagonist because that is what the game wished you to see. You saw the world through the eyes of the protagonist.”

She shook her head angrily, she didn't want to hear this. “But everyone that suffered because of him. Alistair-”

Solas sighed, “A whole race suffered for my actions, yet you can still see good in me, something worthy of your love. And as for Alistair, his choices are his own. Loghain did not place the drink in his hands”

“Solas-” she wanted to argue, to tell him he was wrong but she couldn't get the words out of her mouth. 

“Perhaps, the reason you can not forgive Loghain is because you knew and cared so much for the people he wronged.” His voice dropped low and his arms tightened slightly around her as he spoke his next words. “I wonder, how much would you have hated me if you knew personally the people I wronged?” 

Emma struggled to turn and he finally let her. She placed both of her hands on the sides of his face. “Solas-” he cut off her words of comfort with an affectionate kiss.

When he pulled away he pressed his forehead to hers. “Just think about it differently if you can.” She didn't trust her voice so she nodded and he kissed her temple again before pulling the blankets over them. “Sleep, we have much to do in the morning.”

  
  
  


The air in the Silent Temple was hot enough to make her lungs feel tight with every breath. Dodge a demon strike. Whirl and shoot at the figure approaching Damon’s back. Duck and slash at a demon’s legs. Fade step and shoot the rogue sneaking up on Dorian. Roll and strike. Sweat was pouring into her eyes and her hair was escaping her braid and sticking to her face as she fought. There were so many. Draw, aim, release. One less. 

Shoot. Dodge. Barrier. Shoot. Fade step. Shoot. 

Suddenly something slammed into her left side, sending her to the ground. She rolled with the impact and heard a pained grunt and then the scream of a dying demon. She came up with her daggers at the ready but only saw Loghain slowly crumpling under the weight of a dead terror. His sword was through the terror’s chest and the terror’s claws were through his shoulder. All the way through. 

He had taken a hit for her. The claws dripped with his blood from where they protruded under his collarbone and through his armor. His knees gave out under him but he managed to push the demon’s body aside so it didn’t land on top of him as the claws pulled him down. 

The sound of another demon shriek shook her from her shocked stillness and she instinctively threw up a shield around her and Loghain. She moved to his side and used her dagger to cut at the curved claws protruding from his flesh. This wound was bad. Probably deadly. But if he died now, if he never made it to the fade with the rest of them… She didn’t know what would happen if he didn’t go to the fade like he was supposed to. She had to save him.

He grunted in pain but his gaze was oddly searching as he focused on her face. “Is this my purpose, Herald?”

Her hands felt shaky as she shook her head and gripped the dead demon’s limb. “No… Not yet.” He had to make it to Adamant. She felt her aura flare up and she took a deep breath and let it gather in her palm. He couldn’t die now. With a sudden movement she yanked the demon’s claws from his shoulder and immediately slammed her hand to the wound, flooding his chest with healing magic. 

He screamed and arched as her power tore through him, forcibly mending his flesh and bone back into its proper place. He fell back against the ground, panting and pale when Emma pulled her hand back as the spell ended. She suddenly realized that she was drained from the battle and extreme healing.

“Oh no. I’m-” Her words felt slurred and Loghain and the floor tilted oddly. The last thing she saw was Loghain struggling to sit up and reach for his sword as she felt her shield flicker out and her head hit the ground. 

  
  


Damon was mentally c ursing Emma’s new ability as he deflected a bolt of magic with the blade of his ax. She kept flitting around the battlefield, fade stepping away before anyone could get close enough to watch her back. He hated it. He kept catching near misses as he split his attention between fighting and trying to keep an eye on where Emma was at any given minute. 

He had just caught sight of her again and was trying to carve his way to her through the fray when he saw a terror pop up behind her and on her left, the spot that she tended to leave open. The spot where he normally had a rogue guarding her. He tried to shout, to warn her as he locked blades with an opponent, but there were too many shrieking demons to be heard that far away. He couldn’t get there in time.

His heart felt like it was frozen as he saw the terror raise it’s arm to strike and Emma didn’t even look at it. She was going to be hit. Solas couldn’t see her. He was too far away. No one else was close- Loghain. Loghain was charging directly towards her. The demon was swinging it’s claws towards Emma’s undefended back when Loghain managed to knock her aside with his body. His face contorted with pain as the Terror’s claws pierced his chest but he still managed to thrust his sword through the demon’s torso. 

Damon managed to dispatch his foe and headed for them. He could see Emma staring at the man and had a brief flash of terror that she was freezing up before a shield suddenly shimmered to life around the pair. He let out a relieved  breath and refocused on taking out another demon. Solas was heading for them as well. 

He spun his ax out and dispatched an enemy mage. There were only a few enemies left. Suddenly Loghain let out a bloodcurdling scream and he whirled to see Emma glowing bright enough to cast shadows and Loghain arched in agony under her hand. Solas was cursing up a storm with his hand pressed to Emma’s shield like he was trying to get in. 

Cass shield bashed a demon and yelled to him. “We have the rest, help the Herald!”

Damon nodded and disengaged from the fight and headed straight for where Loghain had finally stopped screaming and had collapsed against the ground. Emma’s glow faded out and she toppled sideways. Her shield flickered out just as her head hit the ground. Solas leaped forward and gathered her up as Loghain struggled to his feet and raised his sword defensively, if a bit shakily. 

Damon glanced around and saw that Sera and Varric were sniping out the last of the danger so he let himself unfocus on them. “Is she alright?”

Solas nodded grimly. “Yes. She is drained, she expended much healing the Warden.” 

Damon glanced at Loghain. Guy was pale and sweating, blood streaked the front of his ruined armor, but he was standing guard over them, the skin revealed under the tears in the metal unmarked. “You good?”

Loghain let out a strained and bitter laugh. “I am healed.”

Judging by his white knuckled grip on his sword hilt and wide eyes, he was not good. He glanced around and saw the group was headed for them. The last of the danger was dealt with. Solas gathered Emma up into his arms, resting her head against his chest to free one hand and run his glowing palm over her head and chest. He audibly sighed in relief at finding nothing amiss and cast a nod in Damon’s direction.

Damon reached out and gripped Loghain’s untouched shoulder, feeling a terrible mixture of giddy relief that Emma was unharmed and sinking guilt and fear at having been unable to protect her. “Thank you.” 

“She is-”

“I don’t care why you saved her. I’m just-” Damon shuddered. “Just, thank you. Is your shoulder okay?”

Loghain looked pained for a second but shook his head. “I- I’ve been magically healed before, but it never… never felt like that.” 

“Like pure power.” Dorian said as he reached out and poked at Loghain’s shoulder through his ripped armor. “That’s basically what it was. Any sane mage would have just stopped the bleeding and healed you in increments over several weeks. She just… healed bone, tendon, and flesh in a matter of seconds.”

“Thus the screaming.” Hawke piped up. 

Loghain flinched minutely but set his face into a scowl. Damon let him go and glanced at the group. “Everyone alright?”

“All limbs are accounted for.” Zevran assured him before kneeling down next to Solas and handing the mage a wetted cloth. “And, this, my dear Inquisitor, is why you must let Stella learn on her own. She does not remember if she doesn’t glow.” 

Damon pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling abruptly drained now that he knew everyone was unhurt. This was really his fault. Cass’s fingers rested on his arm comfortingly. “Yeah. I… Okay.” He inhaled slowly before opening his eyes. “Honey, would you and Dorian ward out a campsite outside of the temple? I think we need to dig in till Em wakes up.” 

He didn't know how long he stood there watching Solas carefully clean demon gunk from Emma face and neck but when he looked up everyone had already gone about getting things ready for camp. Cass stood at the far entrance as if trying to give them space but still keeping an eye on him.

Loghain too stood vigil with him as he watched Solas care for Emma. Everything in him wanted to step up and take over but… she wasn't just his anymore. Solas need to do this to reassure himself as well, Damon could see it in the way he held her. He could hug her till she punched him later. Solas had her, she would be fine. Even though he hadn’t been able to protect her, she would be fine. If he hadn’t interfered…. This was his fault. 

He took a breath and turned to look at Loghain, the guy had a death grip on the hilt of his sword. The way Cullen did when he was trying to ground himself. His face was drawn and pale, though set in the thoughtful scowl that seemed to be his resting face. If he couldn't help Em, the least he could do was check on the guy that kept her with them.

Bull came in and quietly told Solas they had a bedroll set up for Emma and helped him carry her out of the temple. Loghain started to follow them, but Damon gestured for him to wait with him. Cass gave him a long look from the doorway and he gave her a lopsided smile. Her face softened in understanding and she ducked outside to join the others. Damon waited until they were alone before turning his full attention onto Loghain. “Really, though, are you alright?” 

A visible shiver ran down Loghain’s spine and he inhaled sharply. “That was not a pleasant experience. I do not know if I wish to avoid claws through my chest or the Herald’s impressive healing skills more.”

Damon snorted. “One seems to cause the other. But… I kinda meant up here.” He tapped his head. “You look kinda… shaken.” 

Loghain nodded slowly and looked towards the door where the others had exited. “I am simply… coming to terms with something. All will be well.” 

Damon eyed him uncertainly. “Coming to terms with what?” 

Loghain grimaced. “Is that your question?”

Damon shrugged. “It can be if it helps.”

The guy sighed. “I… had a question of my future answered. Suspecting something is one thing, having it confirmed… it is another.”

“Oh. Heavy.” Damon shifted uncertainly. He didn’t know how it would feel to find out one’s fate. “If it helps… different choices can change things. Some things always seem to end up a certain way, but some things change.” 

“I do not fear it… I am merely…” he paused and shook his head. “I do not even think I would change it if I could.” 

“Alright. Lemme… lemme know if I can help or whatever.”

The guy snorted. “You are peculiar, inquisitor.” 

“I hear that a lot. Offer’s genuine. Next question’s yours.” Damon clapped the guy on the shoulder and headed for the temple entrance. He’d bet Loghain would need a minute or two of quiet to himself. 

“Inquisitor.” Damon stopped and looked back at Loghain, who had a pensive scowl. “Is it not dangerous for a mage to drain themselves so?”

He shrugged. “So I hear, but Em’s kinda different. She’ll be groggy and won’t flare up as much for a while, but it isn’t dangerous for her as far as we can tell.” He winced. “Well, it is kinda dangerous to use up her magic like that in the middle of an active battlefield, but it was kinda an emergency.”

Loghain set his jaw and looked away. “I see.” 

“What do you see?” That tone sounded weird. He hesitated and ran his hand over his face. “Look, I dunno what she said, and I dunno what’s all goin’ on with you, but… let’s go get cleaned up and I’ll help you fix that armor best I can.”

Loghain stared at him for a long moment before sighing. “You remind me of Maric sometimes.”  

Damon grimaced, hating being compared to a king. He didn’t want the power they’d given him. “Thanks, I think.”

“Reckless, too quick to trust, absurd, and somehow able to inspire great loyalty.”

Damon blinked. That really was a compliment. “Huh. Sounds like my kinda dude. C’mon.”

They left the temple and joined the others at the camp. Damon grabbed Cass in a tight hug and held on to her until he felt some of the guilt eating at his spine fade out. She leaned up to kiss his chin. “She is fine. She is sleeping and Solas is keeping an eye on her.”

He gave her a grateful kiss and took her hand to lead her over to where Loghain was struggling out of his dented and torn armor. They helped him get the chest plate off and put their heads together along with the repair supplies the scouts had packed with them. It was pretty far gone and Damon took a quick break to send off a raven to request a new set of armor for him before going back to the task of trying to hammer steel back into shape. By the time they heard the shuffling feet of someone approaching, they had managed to put some level of functionality back into the armor.

Damon glanced up to see Emma leaning heavily against Solas as she slowly approached. “Hey.” She tried to smile at him but it came out as a grimace.

Damon straightened and walked over enveloped her in a gentle hug. “Never do that again.” He squeezed her a little tighter. “In fact, never do that again. If you fade step in a battle, you will fade step  _ to someone. _ No more of that flickering around the field with no one to guard your six. You got it, Em?” He mumbled the last bit into the top of her head. 

Emma punched him lightly in the kidney and he let her go. “Yeah. I got it. No fade stepping unless I am going to someone.” She stepped back but let him support her weight. She turned to Loghain and made a sour face before putting on a weak smile. “Hey, I just wanted to thank you for… for rescuing me.” 

For a moment the warrior just looked at her as if he wasn't sure how to respond before he bobbed his head awkwardly. “Well... we're… both still needed.” He mumbled before turning and grabbing his shoulder plate and walking away.

Emma's smile fell and she suddenly had a profound look of sadness in her eyes as she gazed at the Wardens back. Before he could ask her if she was okay she called after Loghain. “I’m sorry.”

Loghain’s steps faltered and he looked as if he was fighting to keep from turning around.

“I… let my prejudices get the best of me.” Emma’s words were quiet and Damon could see a small, proud smile from Solas behind her.

Loghain tilted his head but still refused to turn around. “You were not wrong about me.” He said flatly. 

Emma nodded, but her reply was soft. “To often the world remembers us for the one thing we got wrong and forgets the dozens of things we did right. You… you used to keep cheese in your pockets. The rind was her favorite part. I… I forgot that.”

Loghain went utterly still, almost like he stopped breathing. Finally he gave a bone weary sigh and turned around to look at Emma. “Sometimes the dogs were better company.” He bowed his head before turning around and walking in the direction of where his tent was set up on the far side of camp. 

Emma closed her eyes and leaned heavily on Solas who had moved to stand behind her. “How come I still don't feel any better?”

Damon reached over and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’m proud of you, EmTi, but yeah, sucks to swallow.”

Emma gave a weak smile but she still looked troubled about something as her eyes fell on the tent Loghain disappeared into. “Yeah… everything about this sucks.” 

“But ladies don’t spit.” Damon took her punch to the kidneys and her horrified smile as a victory. Heaven knew everyone around here needed to smile more. 


	53. Chapter 53

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings: panic attacks, drug use and mention, temporary character death, suicide mention, graphic violence...

Cullen met them with the army in tow right at eleven days after Emma's missive reached him. He brought the ‘Sappers’ too, Josephine had pulled some strings and several sappers had been lended to them by surrounding nobles.  

Now they were all, and by that he really meant all of them, inner circle and advisers, currently in a large tent Cullen had set up with a table and a vague drawing of Adamant’s layout stretched across it. Emma was explaining what everything would need to be done to take the fortress with as few casualties as possible. Some of it was rather vague as she explained that Cullen was responsible for most of the tactical choices but they should be successful. After reassuring the guy, she went on to the individual things that affected the ones gathered in the tent.

“Depending on the choices Damon makes, we’ll either have to fight the Wardens, or some of them will leave the battle.”

“What choices, you gotta spell it out for me.” 

“If you try to make the unpossessed wardens surrender, they will panic and fight you. If you tell them to run away, later we won’t have to fight all of the Wardens.”

“Right, so that’s an obvious choice.” Damon rolled his eyes and then rolled his hand in a gesture to continue.

“Um. Clarel will be about to sacrifice someone when we get there and I don’t know if we can stop that, but…” Emma twisted her hands. “Erimond will try to summon a demon through a rift and if we try to stop him, will call Corypheus’ dragon. We… Some of us will end up in the fade. Physically.”

There was a mass intake of breath around the tent. 

Damon rubbed his temples. “Okay. Right. That’s why you said everyone needed to be here. Who’s critical and who can choose?”

“Hawke, Loghain, me, and you. Those are…” Her eyes flicked to the pair. “Necessary. Everyone going into the fade will have to stay real close to me when the dragon comes or they’ll be left behind.”

Hawke looked pale but Loghain looked resigned. He frowned. “Okay. Everyone else, if you aren’t willing to go into the Fade, let me know now and we’ll make sure you are fighting well away from the Herald.”

Emma pointed at Sera and Cole. “They shouldn’t go. Bull… that’s up to him. He knows what he can handle.” 

Sera wrinkled her nose. “Like shit yeah? I don’t want to go all freaky. Lemme shoot arrows at stuff, I like arrows in stuff.”

“I’m stuck, I can’t- Why can’t I? This place is wrong! I made myself forget. No, stop, don’t hurt, don’t look, stay out.” Cole tilted his head and frowned at Emma. “You want to keep me safe, but I want to help.”

“You can help by fighting for Cullen. Keep as many of his men alive as you can, kid. Can you do that?” Damon reached out and gripped the spirit’s shoulder. 

The kid bowed his head before nodding. “A drop in the bucket weighed against your soul. Save every drop. I can help.”

“Right, show of hands, who’s willing to walk in the fade and who wants to fight out here?”

Zevran glanced at Leliana, who subtly arched an eyebrow, before he shrugged apologetically. “I will be fighting with the commander.”

Bull scowled. “I’ll go with you, Boss.”

All in all, everyone in the inner circle except Cole, Sera, Zevran, and Blackwall (who was still at the Keep) were going into the fade with them. They hashed out details, Emma nervously explained what they would find in the fade, and they planned the best they could for it. She was leaving something out, but when he asked about it, she just gave him a watery smile and shook her head. 

“There’s one more thing.” She hugged herself and glanced at Solas. “After… after we get back, you’ll have the choice to either banish the Wardens from Orlais or conscript them to the Inquisition.”

Heavy silence followed her words and Loghain paled. Damon felt the weight of it sink into his stomach and he sighed till there was no air left in his lungs. He straightened his spine on his inhale. “Pros and Cons, everyone. Go.”

“The Wardens are susceptible to Corypheus’ influence and have proven to be willing to stoop to sacrificing their brothers in arms.” Solas said.

Loghain scowled. “The Wardens are loyal and will fight for whoever leads them. They are necessary for a blight to end.”

Everyone opened their mouths and Damon saw a huge argument brewing. He held up his hands to forestall it. “Em, consequences?”

She chewed her lip. “If you banish them, they start fighting among themselves and all of the Wardens disappear suddenly. If you recruit them, all of the ones in Weisshaupt disappear but the ones that follow you are loyal.”

Damon tapped the makeshift war table thoughtfully. “If we kept them, we can keep an eye on them, weed out the ones showing signs of his influence. Also-” He held up his hand again when Solas looked like he was going to argue. “You need bodies for your experiments.” 

Loghain’s eyes widened in horror. "Bodies? Experiments? Please, Inquisitor, I know what I must do, I will carry out my part, but spare the other wardens."

There was a heavy silence as Damon stared at the man, wondering both what his 'part' was and why he was so desperate. The warden’s knees dipped threateningly and he realized with horror the man was prepared to beg. For what?

“She’s curing the blight!” Hawke blurted out. “On live, willing people! Bodies is just how he says a lot of people.”

Abruptly he realized what that would sound like to someone not in the know about Emma's efforts. Loghain thought he was going to experiment and dissect unwilling wardens.  

“It’s true. She has cured one already. He had the clouded eyes and black veins one day, and then the next time I saw him, they were gone. All without a drop of blood magic. Shocking, I know.” Dorian reassured in a flippant tone.

“Blot and Princess aren’t like that, Sunshine. If they take your wardens, they’ll be in good hands.” Varric didn’t even look up from polishing Bianca.

Loghain cursed and sat heavily. “You’re curing the blight itself.”

Emma gave him a half smile. “I’m trying. I… I don’t have enough people to figure out if I just got lucky or if I really found the cure. But…”

Loghain ran a hand over his face. “Wardens have the taint. You… you want to try and remove the taint. Maker’s breath… you think you can actually cure the taint?”

Emma nodded. “Yeah, I think… I think I can. I just need… to research more, figure out how to make it so everyone has safe access to it.” 

Loghain turned beseeching eyes onto Damon, but said nothing. Damon could read the plea though: save them. He glanced at Solas, who looked thoughtful for a long moment before lifting a shoulder in a shrug of acquiescence. 

“The Wardens would help bolster our ranks.” Cullen said quietly. 

“The wardens are a well respected group, and if we are… merciful it would send a powerful message about the intentions of the Inquisition.” Josephine added tapping on her clipboard with her quill thoughtfully.

Damon nodded. “I think… I think I’ll end up conscripting them unless other information comes up later that makes it a bad idea.”

Emma sighed and crossed her arms. “This is one thing I don't know the consequences for in the long run.” She looked and Damon. “I honestly don't know which is the best decision.”

Cullen ran a hand through his hair and sighed heavily. “Then there's not much else to discuss. The siege will cost us troops but they all know what they signed on for and are willing. I'll guide the battle to the best of my abilities. Once we've created an opening the rest will be up to you.”

Emma closed her eyes as if trying to remember something. “I might be able to shield some of the ladders?”

Damon shook his head. “No, hun. If things get as hairy as you say you gotta be full up, take a quiver in fact. They’ll… they’ll do their best and we’ll do our best.” He ran a hand over his face. “What I wouldn’t do for some kevlar though.” 

“Kev-lar?” Hawke furrowed her brow.

“It’s a kind of armor,” Emma supplied. “And yeah, me too.”

Damon suddenly turned to Cullen. “Hey, can I look over the siege equipment? I might-” He hesitated, unsure if advancing siege equipment was actually a good idea, but decided he’d never forgive himself if he didn’t. “I might be able to modify some of it to better protect our men.” 

  
  


Damon felt a grim satisfaction as arrows and boulders rained onto the roof of the battering ram that he had the men build. Each thud felt like a life saved as the ram splintered through the gates, allowing the Inquisition forces to swarm through and clear a path for him and his group. They fell into position, Loghain and him both protecting Emma, and went through the ruined gates. It was chaos and Damon felt his pulse race with the sounds of battle. 

They were immediately swarmed by demons and Damon bared his teeth as they tried to cut through them. They had to get to their goal. He heard a Warden call to fall back and Cullen found him, let him know that they were through and their forces were clearing the way. 

“We’ll be fine. Keep our men safe.” He took a swig of water in the brief moment he had.

“We’ll do what we have to, Inquisitor.” Cullen said grimly, then gave him a brief rundown of what was going on as well as a request to help the men trying to go over the walls. 

Damon nodded and gestured for everyone to form up. They found and sent the wardens back to safety, fought through the fortress, cleared up the battlements and helped their men. Damon was panting lightly by the time they helped the last of the ladders raise and Solas held a potion vial out to him.

He flinched away before he could stop himself and Solas’ face fell but was quickly replaced with a look of understanding. He shook his head and growled. “It’s fine. I’m fine.” He forced himself to take the potion from Solas and uncork it. He glanced at Solas, who gave him a wry smile, before downing it. It was as nasty as he remembered, and he felt the rush of energy rippling through him. Restorative potion. He was fine. It wasn’t a drug. He was fine. 

He gripped the handle of his ax and forced a grin on for Emma’s sake. She looked like he had punched her. “Let’s go people. Got a world to save.” He was fine. It was fine. 

That was the mantra that kept him moving through a pride demon, a despair demon, another demon and another and another. I’m fine. It’s fine. I’m fine. I’m fine. Somebody talked to him and he told them to protect his troops. He was fine. Another swinging his axe. Another flinch, another potion. He was fine. 

Fingers dug into his arm and he bared his teeth, ready to fight the newest threat until he saw Cass’ worried brown eyes. She pushed him and he backed up, letting her push him till his back hit a wall, the stones grating against his skin.

“Where are you?” She asked, her voice clipped.

He looked around, eyes skimming over the worried or understanding faces of his friends. “Adamant fortress. The… The battlements?” He had the sudden realization that he didn’t know how he got here. 

Cass’ face was understanding as she squeezed his shoulder. “Who do you want handing you potions?”

He stilled and glanced at Solas, who looked strained but understanding. The dude gave him a nod and Damon sighed. “You. If that’s-”

“Hand them over, Solas. Tell me when it’s time for another one.” Cass held a hand out to Solas, who detached a pouch from his belt and gave it to Cass. She put it on her own belt and then placed her palm flat over his chest. “Have you returned?”

Damon shook his head and growled, angry at himself for freaking out like that. “Yeah. I- Thanks. I’m back.” He sighed and leaned down to press his forehead to hers. They were too blood covered for a kiss. “I’m back. Let’s do this.”

They formed up again, but this time Damon was aware of the screech of demons and the thunder of trebuchet stones hitting the walls. There was blood and dust in the air and Emma was clutching her bow with white knuckles. He gave the group one last glance over to reassure himself that they were okay before he readjusted his grip on his ax and headed for the stairway that Emma pointed out. 

He heard some sort of speech about betrayal and protection and then they burst into some sort of courtyard in time to see a woman slit another Warden’s throat. The mage from the ritual tower ordered the Wardens in the courtyard to stop him, but although they drew their swords, they did not attack. 

Emma jumped forward and yelled. “Clarel! If you complete the ritual, you are doing exactly what Corypheus wants!”

“Corypheus? He’s dead!” The woman, Clarel apparently, looked horrified. 

“These people will do anything to shake your confidence, Clarel.” The mage, Erimond Emma had called him, said. 

“But… She’s the Herald!” One of the wardens cried out.

Clarel ran a shaky hand over her face before setting her jaw in determination. “Bring it through!”

The Warden mages hesitated, but obeyed. A rift started forming and Emma made a wordless sound of frustration, her fear and anger radiating so strongly that Damon could feel them through their usually dormant bond. He stepped forward and raised his voice, remembering that Emma had said he might be able to avoid fighting them if he saved the ones from earlier. 

“Please, we’re not here to kill Wardens. We let everyone that did not attack leave in peace!”

Clarel hesitated again and Erimond snarled at him. “You have been a thorn in my master’s foot for too long.” 

He banged his staff against the stones and Emma yelled as she threw herself at Solas and tumbled them both behind a pillar. “Dragon incoming! Get to cover!” 

Damon grabbed Cass around the waist and flung himself under a stone doorway. Some of the Wardens did the same but some looked at Clarel instead and were caught in the red fire of Corypheus’ dragon. The dragon circled once before it landed on a tower and faced Erimond. 

It didn’t take long for the Warden Commander to add blood magic and archdemon together and realize that added up to Corypheus. She blasted Erimond in the back with a bolt of lightning as he began some attempt to command the dragon. She hit the dragon and yelled for her wardens to help him as she chased after Erimond. 

The dragon spat another swath of fire into the courtyard and flew heavily off towards another tower, leaving everyone else to deal with the wave of demons that suddenly manifested from the rift the mages had half opened, including a pride demon.

“Pride spits in pride’s face.” Damon quoted to himself as Solas shot an ice spike into the demon’s face. He let himself have a smile at it as he flung himself into the fight, focusing to make sure his head stayed in the moment. 

They fought in the courtyard, they fought through open pathways and Damon even got to whack a blighted dragon on the nose with his ax while Emma shielded him. Emma pointed up some stairs. “Up that way! It’s close now!”

They dodged dragon attacks as they rushed up the way Emma had pointed, Hawke and Loghain flanking her like medieval bodyguards. Damon kept himself squarely in front of the trio as they came upon Clarel fighting Erimond like a badass. He said something that had her flinging him across the ledge with a blast of electricity and she stalked towards him with an angry shout, only to be snatched up from behind by the dragon’s jaws. 

Damon raised his ax, but there was nothing he could do as she was carried up and then flung back to the stone like a toy. The dragon stalked towards them like a hunting lion and all the hair on Damon’s neck prickled in terror as he backed slowly away from it. 

“In war, victory. In peace, vigilance. In death, sacrifice.” Emma whispered just as the dragon prowled over Clarel’s bleeding body. Damon turned and grabbed onto her, curling around her protectively as Clarel sent up a massive blast of magic that knocked the dragon into the ledge, cracking the stone under it’s bulk. It clawed at the ancient stone before falling away and Damon hauled Emma to her feet.

“Go, go, go!” They ran towards the fort, but the ledge was crumbling under their feet. Loghain stumbled as stone fell out from under his feet and Damon shoved Emma towards Hawke so he could haul the man up before he fell. The second’s delay cost them, and even though he knew what was about to happen, he felt his heart pounding through his stomach as the shriek of breaking stone surrounded them and they plummeted towards the abyss.

He felt Emma grab onto his wrist with enough force to break skin, and then she was baring her teeth in frantic determination as she held out her left hand and green magic flared bright enough to blind him. 

  
  


Emma found herself curled up in Damon’s arms, shielded from anything by his body. She squirmed around in his arms, feeling weightless and a little nauseous.  

“Let me go, I gotta, I gotta-” she grunted and managed to extract an arm, reaching out and touching a surface. 

She had the sudden disorienting feeling that gravity had just changed direction and then they were thumping against the surface she had touched. He grunted when Emma elbowed him and squirmed away, patting herself down to make sure all her weapons were accounted for. She could feel Solas’ excitement radiating like a sun not far away. She could feel the fade around her like a vibrant hum that left her feeling giddy and jittery, like she had chugged too many energy drinks. Her magic felt like it was overflowing, swirling through her like swimming in the ocean. The others were turning slow circles as they looked around, slowly backing towards her and Damon.

Loghain was standing sideways on a pillar, looking around with barely concealed dismay. “What happened? Did she truly…” 

“Well. Glad this isn’t the afterlife, otherwise the Chantry would owe me an apology.” Hawke walked down off of another pillar and joined them. 

“I never thought I’d find myself here physically. Look, the Black City! Almost close enough to touch.” Solas was flaring anticipation and excitement. 

Damon huffed in wry amusement. “Yeah, let’s not.”

Varric shook his head. “You like it here, Chuckles. Course you do.”

“Well, it is not the area I would have chosen, of course.” Solas actually looked a little sheepish at that. 

Emma laughed, earning her a quizzical look from him, before she patted his arm. “Next time I’ll choose somewhere not controlled by a fear demon.”

He suddenly chuckled and caught her hand, pressing it lightly. “ _ I will hold you to that promise, Emma’lath.” _ He whispered in elvhen. 

Bull grunted. “Let’s go deal with that and get out of here. My ankles are wet.”

Damon shook himself like a dog and gripped his ax. “Lead on, oh prophet.”

Emma grimaced and shot him a glare, but began trudging towards the path. “Stay focused and we’ll end up where we need, it’s a fear demon, so, like I said, be prepared to have your fears thrown in your face and made public.”

Damon’s knuckles paled on his ax handle but he said nothing. She cast him a worried glance but tried to focus on the path. She felt slimy and wanted out of here. 

The Fade felt just as wrong as it looked. Emma wondered if that was purely the demon’s influence or if the fade itself was somehow ‘sick’, she couldn't think of a better word for it. Maybe this was something to ask Solas about… later… much later… after demon later.

Thankfully, the path in the fade didn't divert from the game version too much, and she was able to lead them to where the spirit imitating Justinia stood waiting for them. There were several sharp intakes of breath and Emma heard Cassandra whisper Justinia’s name.

“I greet you, Inquisitor, Warden, and Champion.” The spirit said with the slight tilt of her head before setting her eyes on Emma with a gentle smile. “I am here to help you, Bright One. You do not remember- oh. You know the paths you must take.”

“I would still appreciate your help.” Emma said quietly. “I know the Nightmare is what caused the false Calling, and that we cannot get past it without…”She glanced at Loghain. ”Help.”

Loghain’s eyes darted between Emma and the spirit before understanding flickered through his eyes and his face fell. He nodded grimly “Ah. I see now.” 

Damon’s head jerked towards him and he frowned, but said nothing. Emma's stomach lurched but she forced her eyes away. This was supposed to happen, she tried to remind herself, it didn’t matter what she wanted.

The spirit looked at Loghain with an almost tender expression. “Brave Warden, you have already repaid that debt.”

Emma swallowed hard at hearing those words and turned quickly to the path they needed to take. “Sooo…memories… fun.” She mumbled and avoided Damon’s eyes.

The spirit led them down a slimy green path and pointed out the wraiths gathering. “You know what you must do, Bright One.” 

Emma nodded grimly, pushing her growing guilt aside to deal with the matter at hand. This was how it went. She pulled the string back on her bow, shooting a magic arrow into one of the wraiths as the warriors charged forward. The wraiths fell easily, small potatoes compared to some of what they had battled before, and Emma grimaced in distaste before holding her marked hand out to gather up the memory fragments. 

A flash of pain seared through her temples, and then she was viewing the vision of Corypheus using the Wardens to try to sacrifice Justinia. Just as he was doing whatever magic it was, she and Damon, in his newly acquired qunari body, popped into existence, bursting out of thin air and landing on the floor in a tangled heap. Justinia knocked the orb from Corypheus hand, and Damon reached for it automatically. Emma screamed no and knocked his arm aside, grabbing the orb and shuddering as its power crackled through her. 

Damon inhaled sharply. “Em… Why? I could have- You didn’t have to do that! That’s not your- I’m-” He ran a hand over his face and cursed. “Why’d you do that, EmTi?”

Emma remembered the fear that had spiked in her chest when she had seen Damon reaching for the orb. He didn't know what it was. He didn't know the pain it would cause, the price. “I just couldn't… you didn't know.” She found her arms wrapped around herself and forced them back down to her sides. “I knew the price.”

“Price.” Damon said flatly before exhaling slowly. “Fuck.”

Solas was suddenly there, taking her roughly by the shoulder and twisting her round to face him. “ _What price must you pay?”_  He spoke in elvhen, his voice and aura tinged with panic. Emma swallowed and shook her head but he shook her shoulders desperately. “ _Tell me… please.”_ His voice fell to barely a whisper over the plea.

Emma looked away. “My arm.” She spoke in Common so everyone could understand. “That's the Price.”

Damon let out a relieved breath. “Okay. That’s not- I can draw up- I mean, that sucks, but that’s not like, death sucks.” 

Solas closed his eyes tightly and bowed his head. She could tell he was trying to rein in his emotions that were flaring across their bond. Dread, relief, fear, confusion, guilt. When he finally looked up, his face was set in determination. “We will discuss this later, at the moment let us move on.”

Loghain suddenly spoke and Emma turned to find his intense gaze on her. “So Andraste didn’t bestow her mark on you, it came from the orb Corypheus used in his ritual.”

Emma nodded. “I never claimed to be ‘holy’, everyone decided that themselves.” 

“Sure, what I want to know is how did you and Damon just… appear in the room like that? You just… popped in out of nowhere.” Dorian piped up, eyes darting between the two.

Damon opened his mouth to answer when Cass cut in. “Questions to be answered at another time.”

Hawke was shaking her head, a furious expression on her face. “Is no one going to say anything about the Wardens holding the Divine in that vision? Their actions led to her death.” 

Emma groaned inwardly, as Loghain stepped forward in the Warden’s defense. She had completely forgotten about this conversation. “Corypheus had clearly taken the warden’s minds. You yourself have seen him do this. In any case, you can deal with that after you escape.” 

“Oh, I intend to.” Hawke seethed.

Damon held up his hands in a placating manner, drawing the two warrior’s attention. “Wow, hold up. Let’s find the rest of the memories and facts before we start a debate team, yeah?”

Emma nodded. “We should get moving, time runs differently in the fade… we just let that thing know I'm here, so I'd rather not stay here any longer than necessary.” She then turned and gave Solas an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Wait! We just-” Hawke barely got three words out before a booming voice echoed out, cutting her off with it’s deep rumble.

"Ah, we have a visitor. Some silly little girl comes to steal the fear I so kindly lifted from her shoulders. You should have thanked me and left your fear where it lay, forgotten. You cannot change anything for the better, you are just a child, stumbling around as you pretend that the accident in your hand will keep him with you. But you are a guest here in my home, so by all means. Let me return what you have forgotten.”

Emma sucked in a breath. He changed… that wasn't what he said before… he- Solas’ hand squeezed her shoulder breaking her train of thought. She felt a wave of reassurance from him and made herself relax. It was a fear demon, of course it would do what it needed to freak her out. She gave him a grateful smile.

Damon huffed. “So that’s what you meant by ‘laying out your fears’. That ain’t so bad.”

Emma cringed internally. He probably shouldn’t have said that. “Uh-”

“Nope! You’re going to let us keep that happy thought for as long as it lasts, Princess.” Varric cocked Bianca and waved a hand around. “Where to?”

“Perhaps I should be afraid, facing the most powerful members of the inquisition.”

Damon grinned and shouted in the general direction of the voice. “We are mighty! Hear us roar! Meow.”

Emma rolled her eyes as everyone chuckled, She looked around and set off to the path she recognized. The group stayed clustered close behind her, Dorian humming under his breath as the demon pretended to mistake him for his father. “Rather uncalled for.”

“The thing must be blind, anyone could see your mustache is better.” 

“The Qunari will make a lovely host for my minions,. Or perhaps I will ride his body myself.”

“That was needlessly sexual, y’know? Just makes it cringey instead of creepy.” Damon shook his head in mock disappointment and Emma rolled her eyes.

“Are you going to do that every time?” Loghain muttered.

“Yup.”

“Once again, Hawke is in danger because of you, Varric. You found the red lyrium, you brought Hawke here.”  

“Just keep talking, Smiley.”

“Wait, when did you steal Emma’s hand, Varric? Emma! Did the dwarf steal your hand? Solas! Did you know Varric took Emma’s hand! I thought you hitched her first!”

Emma threw up her hands. “I give up at this point.”

“Did you think you mattered, Hawke? Did you think anything you ever did really mattered? You couldn’t save your city, how do you expect to strike down a god? You’re a failure and your family died knowing it. As did Anders.”

“I’m going to enjoy killing this thing.”

“You an’ me both, Hawke. Though, I was wondering, Bull, have you ever thrown someone into battle? Like, someone real small and just, y’know, pitch them over the front lines?”

Bull grinned. “Mayhem!”

Emma looked around and then shook her head. Without Sera there, she was the smallest one. “Uh uh, not happening! I ain’t getting pitched!”

“But think of the mayhem!” Damon and Bull said at the same time.

Hawke snickered.

“How do you know your precious Inquisitor will stay with you, Cassandra? He is yet more evidence that there is no Maker and your ‘Faith’ cannot bind him to this world.”

Emma’s step faltered, she barely heard Cassandra’s growl. “Die in the Void, Demon.”

Damon snorted, “Any ‘binding’ she does on me won’t involve faith.” he glanced back at Cass, wiggling his eyebrows.

Emma wrinkled her nose, then froze as she turned a corner and came face to face with Solas, a Solas shambling towards her with glowing red lyrium eyes.

No, no, no, no no, she had stopped that! That didn’t happen! The corrupted Solas reached for her, and then fell with Damon’s ax in his neck.

“Fuckin’ spiders.”

“Spiders? I wish they were spiders!”

Oh. The fearlings. It wasn’t really Solas. He was fine. She looked beside her and reassured herself that Solas was there and his eyes were normal. His mouth was set in a grim line but she gave him a weak smile. “You-”

“They are not what you think you are seeing, Emma’lath.” He punctuated the sentence with an ice spike through the chest of a red eyed illusion of Zevran.

She shook herself and readied her bow. She could do this. She drew the string back and gathered energy, aiming at a Varric with glowing red eyes. She braced herself and let it loose, feeling her gut clench as the storyteller fell and dissipated into a puff of energy. It wasn’t really him. He wasn’t corrupted. He was fine. They were all fine.

Her hands were shaking by the time the last fearling fell. Damon had a white knuckled grip on his ax, but he leaned against her, letting the warmth of him comfort her for a few seconds before they straightened up to forge ahead.

The nightmare boomed out again, this time directed at Loghain. “Teryn Loghain Mac Tir, the brilliant commander. Pity the one time you tried to rule you failed so miserably. You had to be beaten, humiliated, lest you destroy your own country. You even doomed the wardens by bringing the Inquisitor down on them. You destroy everything you touch.”

Loghain set his jaw. “Nothing I did not already know.”

“The fuck? I ain’t doin’ shit to wardens. You ever hear of fact checking or journalistic integrity?” Damon shouted at the sky.

Loghain blinked at him before shaking his head with a slight smile. Varric and Bull actually chuckled.

The demon sounded a bit peeved when it spoke again. “And you, Otherworlder. Your corruption will inevitably consume you. They will see what you are, and she will turn away from you. You will be alone again.”

“Oh, c’mon! Not this again! I just finished jumping through all the hoops to get them to believe I wasn’t pullin’ a Cole!” Damon rolled his eyes, and even though Emma tried to see if he was faking, his shoulders weren’t as tense. It didn’t seem to be getting to him. What did it mean by corruption? Was it just something to make the others think he was a demon?

The demon laughed menacingly, “Ah, Of course what is the saying? ‘Sticks and stones?’ or if you’d rather: ‘seeing is believing’?”

It laughed again and Emma gritted her teeth and picked up the pace. She wanted out of this place and away from that cactus leaf.

“Hey, Herald? What’s wrong with the Inquisitor?” Hawke asked in a worried tone.

She stopped and turned back to find Damon standing frozen on the path, staring with wide, terrified eyes at nothing. “Damon?” She walked back to him and touched his arm when he didn’t respond. “Damon!”

He didn’t’ move. Emma could see his chest hitching with rapid breaths, his pupils dilated to almost pinpricks in fear. She frowned and extended her aura, willing the Fade to show her what he was seeing, to show what was frightening him so badly.

And image flickered into being on the ground. It was Damon, human Damon, before all of his ink and piercings. He was leaning against an invisible object, a phone and an empty syringe on the ground beside him. He looked like he had been crying, but was now just staring vacantly into the distance.

What was this? Why was it frightening Damon so badly? “Damon, what is this?”

Suddenly, the image of the past Damon lurched as he vomited, the liquid trickling down his chin as his body began jerking violently, spasming as he toppled sideways onto the floor. An image of a younger Emma flickered into view. She watched herself look at the seizing image of Damon, then shake her head and walk away. Her Damon made a wounded noise in his throat and his grip on his ax slipped.

“Damon! This isn’t real!” She tried to will the nightmare away, to take it away from him so it couldn’t hurt him, but Solas caught her arm urgently.

“Emma! Do not! That is his memory! You will damage it.”

She shook her head frantically. “It can’t be! Damon, that can’t have happened? What’s going on?”

“I called you. Begged you to come home. Begged you to let me go to you. Anything. You said no.” His voice was hoarse and terrified.

She remembered that call. He had been crying and slurring as he pleaded for her to let him go to her. She had thought he was drunk, had gotten angry with him and told him to wait for summer break and focus on his classes. She hadn’t heard from him again, hadn’t seen him till she went home for summer break.

The image of Damon writhed and shook like a puppet being shaken by its strings. He spasmed one final time against the ground and fell still, eyes open but sightless.

She grabbed her Damon’s face and felt tears under her fingers. “Damon, that can’t have happened. You’re right here and you’re not dead!”

“A minute and a half.” He shuddered violently under her hands, but his voice was a hollow monotone. “My heart stopped, Em. I was dead for a minute and a half. I’m dead. You left me and I’m dead.”

That couldn’t be true, he was here under her fingers. She tried to pull his face down so he would look at her and not the terrifyingly still image of himself. “I came back, Damon!”

After that phone call, after the semester, she had been shocked when she’d seen him again. He’d been frighteningly thin, his eyes sunken and bruised, and his eyes so sad. He’d had his first ink on his wrist, still red and raw with how new it was, and had frozen at the sight of her before breaking into gut wrenching sobs and crushing her in a hug. He hadn’t let her go for a long time. His first tattoo…

Emma grabbed his wrist and forced it in front of his face. “What is this?” She demanded.

“My-” his eyes finally moved away from the image of his dead body and focused on his tattoo. “I got it when I had been clean thirty days.”

Thirty days, god. He had been clean only a month when she’d seen him again. He used to sit up at night and stare at his wrist. She had thought… had thought it was just grief for his parents. Had tried to cheer him up, had tried to get him to go back to college when she’d discovered he’d dropped out. He’d always clutch his wrist and give her a haggard smile and say that he just didn’t have the head for it. His accent had shown back up after so long of careful practice.

Oh god, she had drugged him. Had drugged him and left him behind, after this! How could he not hate her?

“Look at it.” Her voice broke. “You survived, Damon. You’re alive and I’m here. I’m right here with you and I’m not leaving you again.” She dug her nails into his wrist and was rewarded with his eyes flicking to her face. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, and I’m so sorry. I’m not gonna leave you again, I promise!”

“You don’t hate me?” His voice was small and broken. “You don’t hate me now that you know?”

She sobbed and hugged him, clutching him tightly, reassuring herself that he was really there and not laying overdosed on the ground at her feet. “No! No, I don’t hate you! Could never!” She felt Solas’ aura nudge her urgently and she inhaled shakily and grabbed his face again. “Damon, I love you, but we need to get moving.”

“I love you too, Em.” He shivered and the image of himself disappeared. “’m’sorry.”

“well… shit!” Varric exclaimed.

Emma turned around slowly and saw everyone staring at her and Damon. Damon shuddered beside her before pasting a smile onto his face. “So, uh, saw all that I’m guessin’?”

Dorian was clutching his temples with both hands, a strained expression about his eyes and he let out a quiet noise that was almost a whimper. “I don’t even know where to start with that. That was truly your memory?”

“Yup.”

“Grew your horns late, huh?” Bull raised an eyebrow and Emma couldn’t decipher his tone.

“Yup.” Damon hefted his ax and gestured at the path ahead. “Shall we?”

Emma nodded eagerly and took a step, but Varric raised his hands. “Wait, wait, wait, I get that was very emotional and shit, but, uh, are we just going to ignore Blot’s… apparent growth spurt?”  

“Yup.”

“Let us focus on the matter at hand, which is getting out of the Fade and back to Adamant.” Cass spoke up and Emma shot her a grateful look.

“Don’t think I didn’t see that you and Solas didn’t bat an eye at that little revelation, Seeker.” The Iron Bull muttered.

“Bull.” Damon grinned with all of his teeth. “Shut up.”

Bull studied him sharply for a second before twisting his mouth into a half smile. “You got it, Boss.”

Cassandra moved to Damon’s side with a mulish set to her jaw, glaring darkly at anyone who looked like they were going to ask Damon anything. Emma pretended she didn't see her angle her shield so she could brush the backs of her knuckles against his arm. They walked on a little longer before Bull started talking in a higher voice. “Hey, Chief! Let’s join the Inquisition! Good fights for a good cause!” He dropped his voice back to normal. “I don’t know, Krem, I hear there are demons.” He pitched his voice up. “Ah, don’t worry about the demons, I think that’s just the leader’s name!” He grumbled under his breath in Qunlat. “Asshole.”

“Well, I mean, he was mostly right.” Emma pointed out. 

Damon gave a half hearted laugh. “Yeah.” He closed his eyes briefly and shook his horns. Cass rested her fingers on his arm and he gave her a soft smile. “Thanks, Cass. And Bull, you have a blind spot and a bad knee. I know how to get you down if you get a hitch hiker.”

Bull smiled as if he had been given some sort of apology. “Thanks, Boss.” 

Emma smiled as she sidestepped a dark puddle. This was what would see them through all of this. Friends supporting each other, helping each other brush their fears off and get through it. Things didn’t seem as terrible with someone else cracking a joke and letting you know they had your back. Everyone was stronger with someone to help them up and forward. And… maybe she was learning she didn’t need to be alone when she was hurting. And that she shouldn’t leave others alone when they were hurting. 

The demon’s voice rumbled out again and there was no mistaking who he was speaking to. “Ar dirtha ma, harel, mar’lath ju’dala, ma’ju’ea banal. Banal mar’solas. U.” 

Emma felt a sudden wave of fury from Solas, “Fen'Harel ma halam.” He growled. 

Emma’s eyes widened at Solas’ loss of control. The demon never rattled him in the game. What did it mean his love would-- oh. Emma winced as it finally dawned on her. 

Damon whistled and spoke in spanish. “Oooh, boy! Alguien hizo el huevo loco!” 

Emma actually snorted at that. “Hey, he's got hair now! He’s not an egg anymore.”

Despite the fury still simmering beneath the surface Solas actually felt curious, “Do I wish to know?”

Emma chuckled, “Probably not but I'll tell you later.”

“El lobo loco.” Damon singsonged. She could tell he was still shaken and hurt, but was trying to make himself feel better by making people laugh. 

She looked up to see the spirit ‘Faith’ walk around the corner and steeled herself for the next round of memory gathering.

“The nightmare knows you are close, Leal'sa, he is furious.” Faith spoke calmly and looked at Damon with a fond smile. “You have shown you are stronger than he anticipated. Keep the ones you love close, Guardian.” 

Damon startled and frowned when she called him Guardian, but it seemed confused rather than upset. “I will do my best.” 

Emma gave Faith a grateful smile before turning to the wraiths and wisps that started to materialize in front of them. She drew back an arrow and let in sink into the closest wraith’s misshapen head. A fearling in the form of a corrupted Dorian rushed her left side, only to meet with a dagger thrown underhanded. 

“You are improving.” Solas commented as he cast. She noticed he had now dropped all pretense of needing his staff to cast as it remained secured to his back.

Emma smiled as she retrieved her dagger with magic. Fearlings had initially thrown her at first but now it was easy to remind herself they weren't actually her friends. Plus, Solas’ calming aura helped her keep track of what was real. He would nudge her with it in the right direction, calming for friend, grim for foe. It was easy to follow his aura’s lead.

Demons dispatched, Emma looked at the glowing orb that was left by the last one to fall and looked back at Damon. “You ready?”

He adjusted his grip on his ax and gave a sharp nod and Emma reached out her hand to gather the orb in her hand. 

The same flash of pain from before lanced through her temples, and then the vision of their memories started. Damon was clutching her to his chest with one hand as he climbed up an almost vertical pillar of stairs. She could see his teeth bared in strain as he hauled himself and her practically limp form up the sheer rock. Fearlings were close behind and gaining on them as they neared the top. Damon kicked at one and tried to shove her onto the top of the pillar where the spirit of Faith was reaching for them. Emma grabbed onto his wrist, blood welling up under her nails as she dragged him along behind her. 

He kicked at another fearling and hauled himself up after her, then pushed her towards the rift. The spirit rushed past them to face the fearlings just as he shoved Emma through the rift, and then was dragged through as well by her grip on his wrist. 

Emma blinked the vision away and saw Damon looking at his right wrist where several faint half moon scars dotted it. He grunted in realization at where they had come from. 

Emma gave Damon a smile even though her chest ached. "You're always protecting me but never want to let me help you."

Damon gave her a steady look before quietly speaking. "You're important to me, Em. I ain't letting you go without a fight."

"To the moon." She felt tears welling up at his earnestness. Even after leaving him, twice, and drugging him, he still loved her.

"To the moon and back, Em." He wiped his eyes with the back of his wrist and pressed his face into Cass' hair. "To the moon and back to you both."

"I don't know what you both just said, but I'm guessing it's some extravagant declaration of devotion?" Dorian piped up.

"Yeah, Sparkler." Damon laughed and straightened up after leaving a kiss on the top of Cass' head.

Loghain scowled at the green overcast mockery of a sky. “That memory told us nothing besides that we are following a spirit, which we already knew.”

Hawke snorted. “What we do know is the mortal divine perished at the temple thanks to the grey wardens.”

Emma rubbed her temples as the familiar argument started. She was beginning to get a headache. She knew the argument backwards and forwards so imagine her shock when Loghain simply made a little grunting sound but otherwise didn't respond to Hawke’s words.

Emma gave Solas a flat look and an exasperated poke with her aura when he, predictably, chimed in. “The Wardens may have once served a greater good, but they are far too dangerous as they are now.” 

Cassandra unexpectedly deviated from the lines Emma remembered. “While the wardens are a risk, I believe the Herald and the Inquisitor can help them. It is better to keep danger where you can keep a watchful eye on it.

Varric shrugged, but was eyeing Loghain sharply. “I don’t know what to tell you, there are a few good ones, but an awful lot of the wardens I’ve known went crazy.”

Damon raised a hand straight into the air and held it there. Hawke halted in whatever reply she had been about to form and looked at him in confusion. “What are you doing?” 

Damon dropped his hand and grinned, his sharp canine teeth bared in a deceptively friendly expression. “So, like, Emma’s researching the Blight and related, so that’s kinda under control. But I was wondering, can we please bicker after we kill the big bad?” 

Hawke shot a glare at Loghain, who was now ignoring her, and nodded. “Very well. Let's finish this.”

Emma sighed and shook her head as they once again started walking leading them on their path she knew to take to avoid the pride demons. The Nightmare’s voice boomed out unexpectedly. “Ah, little Emma. Don't think I have forgotten you.” It chuckled darkly. “I wonder, how would your precious friends think of you if they knew… let's find out shall we?”

The air was suddenly filled with smoke and Emma coughed harshly as she staggered through the snow. She had to get away, she had to find the mine shaft. It felt like she was watching herself as she fled towards safety, only pausing when she saw someone in the snow. What were they doing here? It was dangerous! She rushed towards them, screaming at them to run, but dropped to her knees at the sound of a familiar baby’s cry. She shoved Frya over and grabbed Gaelathe before running to the mineshaft. 

“You left me.” Frya’s voice echoed around her as she curled tightly around Gaelathe. “I was there for you and you didn’t even stop to see if you could help me. You just took my child and left me.” 

“I had…no, I…” she tried desperately to deny it.

A hand jerked her, spinning her around and she stared up into Frya’s pain contorted face as her skin bubbled from heat, melting and turning black before her eyes. “You could've saved me.” The accusation came from the burning form of her friend.

Oh God! I left her. I let her die! She tried to curl around Gaelathe protectively as a hand grabbed her shoulder and forced her to stand straight.

“Emma! You couldn’t have saved her, you did what you could!” Damon’s large hands cupped her face comfortingly but insistently. “She was too heavy for you and you had to save Gaelathe. It was him or nobody and you saved him!” 

Emma blinked and realized where she was. It was the Fade, she was in the Fade. Solas’ arms were tightly wrapped around her waist from behind keeping her upright and held her face in his hands talking to her as tears and sobs that tore through her chest.

“Ra tel’vindhru, Emma’lath. Ea’soun.” It is not true, be strong. Solas whispered into her hair.

She felt their hands guiding her a little ways only to set her down on a rock or something. “I could've-”

“No you couldn't have.” Damon said firmly giving her shoulders a firm yet gentle shake. “You didn't have your magic then. There was no way, Em.” 

“Emma’lath. Ma’vhenan, he is right.” Solas’ soothing voice came next to her ear. “She could not have survived such wounds. Your magic had not yet been freed. You did the best you could for her and her son lives because of you.”

She nodded, even though her mind was screaming at her that she could've done something, anything.

“Let’s go,” Damon said as he rubbed her shoulders. “There's a demon that just signed his own death certificate.”

She started to raise her head, but her eyes caught on a smooth stone in front of her that had the words: Dying Alone carved into it under Solas’ name. Oh. For. The. Love. Of. God! Of all the places to sit her down! 

Dorian was making a distasteful face at the stone with his name on it but wasn’t saying anything. Loghain frowned at the headstones. “What are these supposed to be?”

“Our greatest fears.” Emma whispered. She just felt drained, she already knew what their headstones would say so she didn't bother examining them as the others were.

“Yeah, Boss. You can count me in.” Bull growled after smashing his headstone with his axe.

Cassandra touched a stone wider than the rest curiously. “Ours is-” She frowned and pulled her hand back before pointedly moving to stand beside Damon. Out of curiosity, Emma glanced over at the stone and saw Cass’ and Damon’s names on the same stone with the words ‘Helplessness’ and ‘Abandonment’ carved underneath. She looked back at Solas’ and frowned when she realized that only his name was on it. She looked around and found her headstone proclaiming her fear of change. Why did Cass and Damon share a headstone, but not she and Solas- she shook her head at the thought. No, the fear demon was playing with her insecurities, with Solas’ fears.

She gritted her teeth and stood up. This demon was trying to hurt her friends. She needed to get them out of here. She wiped her eyes with the back of her arm and began stomping towards the path they needed to take. 

Faith met them at the top of the hill towards the end of the path… at this point Emma just nodded to everything, her inner struggle drowning out most of what was said and barely realized when Faith transformed. They were getting closer to the end… to when Damon had to choose. She tried to ignore how Loghain had placed himself to guard her left side as they fought the last wave of fearlings before entering the tunnel.

As if sensing her eyes on him, Loghain met her gaze and seemed to see the guilt that was tugging at her chest because he surprised her by placing a hand on her shoulder and giving it a slight squeeze before nodding. It was okay.

She gave him a weak smile before inhaling and stepping out of the tunnel. The nightmare screeched and chittered above them and she felt a chill race down her spine as she looked up, and up, and up at it. Faith began glowing and floating forward with an air of determination. 

“You know what to tell her.” 

The Spirit charged at the Nightmare and it screamed as it backed away from it, leaving the Aspect of Fear and some fearlings for them to mop up. She drew back her bow string and shot a shambling Hawke through the head, trying to keep the fact that Hawke was charging the Aspect with Cassandra covering her, uncorrupted. 

The fight felt short, the frantic pace of fighting the demons bending her perception of time so that it seemed like a matter of seconds before Varric put a bolt through the Aspect and it dissipated into a swirl of energy. The warriors were panting though, and Damon had a gash on his shoulder that was bleeding freely. Cassandra took a sip of a potion before passing the vial to him and he didn’t flinch or hesitate before taking it. Solas startled and looked at her like he couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought to do the same. 

Dorian wrinkled his nose. “Shall we head to the exit? I believe my robe might stain if we stay here longer.”

“That’s… what she said...” Damon chuckled breathlessly.

Dorian rolled his eyes. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Emma huffed and passed her last healing potion to Loghain. He had a nasty looking bruise on the side of his face. He gave her an odd look but she just shrugged. She didn’t need it. The set off towards the rift, half jogging in their eagerness to escape the fade. She felt a vibration through the ground and groaned. “It’s coming back!”

Emma swallowed hard as the Nightmare loomed over them. She could see Solas and Damon’s eyes darting between the demon and the path to the rift, trying to calculate if they could make a run for it. She met Loghain’s gaze and he set his jaw. 

“Go. I will hold it off.”

Damon’s head whipped towards him and then towards her. “Emma… no… That’s why we needed him? That’s why you said we had to bring him?” He looked at her in horrified realization. She nodded shakily, feeling guilt gnawing at her belly.

“It is my part, Inquisitor. I accept it. Go, and please save the wardens.” The man drew his sword and turned to the demon, his knuckles white.

“No.” Damon practically snarled. “I ain’t doin’ that way.” He gripped his ax and bared his teeth at Bull in a grin. “Hey, would you say that thing is about as big as a dragon?”

Bull hesitated, but gave a grim smile. “Smaller, I think.”

Emma felt her stomach clench in fear… “Damon, no, we can’t! It's-”

Damon cut her off with a pained laugh. “Well, we’re gonna try, Em. No man left behind. So I suggest you light up and help us torch a motherfucker. Otherwise, everyone who wants out head for the rift.”

“Damon, it’s- it’s too powerful.” Everything in the game had hinted at it being a Forgotten One. They couldn’t hope to defeat what was practically an old god.

He snorted and set his feet, squaring up for a charge. She could see the others following his lead, following him. They were going to try and fight it because he had asked.

“Emma. Do you know why the gods fear Ragnarok?”

She closed her eyes before sucking in a deep breath as she began to draw on her magic; she wasn't going to be able to talk him out of this. He wasn’t going to run. “Because even the gods must die.” 

Solas’ aura flared in a confusing mix of emotions, regret and acceptance foremost.  

“Nobody hold back.” He said sharply and dug his feet into the soggy ground, launching himself towards the Nightmare. Loghain was a hair behind him, and then Bull and Cass. She looked at Solas who gave her a slight smile before summoning magic into his palms and facing the Nightmare. 

No holding back. Damon was in danger. Solas was in danger. Her friends were in danger. She pulled deep on her magic, focusing on the brightness of it, of the loud song that begged to protect. Her mind flew to that afternoon in the field when she had let it flow from her without restraint. Her lioness. What better to protect her people than a lion?

She could feel a feral grin spread across her lips as she drew as much magic as she could find in a handful of seconds and formed it into a glowing lioness close to the size of the Nightmare. She felt a stretching sensation in her mind as she tried to control it and then she could see through its eyes, could see the small forms of her friends dodging and hacking at the thing’s legs. She could see Solas as a bright sun of magic beside her body. It was… amazing and terrifying. Solas’ aura flared in surprise, awe, and pride.

She saw one of the Nightmare’s legs lash out and send Damon tumbling across the stone ground and she roared, channeling her anger and energy into the sound until the Nightmare flinched away from where it had been attempting to bite down on Hawke. How DARE it hurt her brother! Her friend!

It turned its attention to her and shrieked and she bared her teeth at it, gathering her paws under herself and pouncing, her claws outstretched to slash at several of its eyes. It raised a leg to bat her away, but she simply bit down on it, hanging on as it shrieked and tried to shake her off. 

It was a blur of demon blood, shrieking, and movement after that. It lashed out at Dorian and she bit it. That was HER Dorian! It tried to step on Bull and she crushed it’s leg in her jaws. That was HER Bull! It spat bile at Varric and she whirled and kicked it sideways. HERS! She pounced and slashed and bit and tried not to step on her friends below as they took advantage of any openings she created. It was attacking HER people and she would NOT  _ allow _ it.

The Nightmare was limping, two of its legs curled up under its body as it spewed black ichor from the gashes the Warriors had inflicted. She saw Solas send a shard of magic tearing through its abdomen and it reared up, exposing it’s softer underbelly of eyes. She gathered her paws under herself and threw herself forward. Her front claws sunk into the demon’s flesh and she hung on as she began kicking with her back legs, her hind claws tearing deep gashes open with each slash. 

The Nightmare shrieked and staggered, throwing itself against the ground and surrounding rocks in an effort to dislodge her. It smashed her against a pillar and she felt something break in her spine and then she was violently thrown back into herself again. She staggered as she readjusted to her smaller body, a hollow ache in her chest where her magic stirred faintly. She clutched at Solas’ shirt when he caught her as she felt her knees give out under her. 

“No-” She felt her words slurring. Oh no, she had… too much... “Still gotta ‘lose ‘a rif’...”

She stubbornly clung to consciousness long enough to see the Nightmare dragging its body pitifully away from an advancing Damon, who swung his glowing ax into the gashes she had opened with a brutal finality. The Nightmare let out one last terrible scream before dissipating into green mist.  She vaguely felt something shift but she focus on that now. She had to..

“Da… Damon!” She held out her left hand towards him, hoping he’d realize what she was thinking and link up. He might be able to close the rift. Solas arms hooked under her legs and her head lolled as he picked her up. Her eyes started closing and the last thing she was aware of was warm fingers closing around hers and Damon’s quiet voice echoing in her head.

“I got you, EmTi. I got you.” 


	54. Chapter 54

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning for drug mention

Damon felt like a someone had cut away a vice from around his stomach when he drove his ax into the demon’s body one last time and it disappeared into a swirl of green energy. He didn’t have time to feel upset at the lack of body to reassure himself that it really was dead before his hand lit up and he felt Emma tugging at him urgently. He turned towards where he had last seen her and saw her slumped against Solas with her hand outstretched to him. 

He rushed over to her as Solas kept her from collapsing and grabbed her left hand with his, feeling the connection flicker into place as her eyes closed. “I got you, EmTi. I got you.” There was an urgent impression of a rift closing before she fell silent and still beside his mind. He inhaled and picked her up with his other arm. 

He needed to get her out of here. He glanced around and saw his friends loosely scattered around the area, looking a little stunned as they stared at the area the Nightmare had been. He felt a little stunned himself, not only at the fact that they really had managed to kill that massive fucker, but that things felt different. Felt… safer. 

He took a moment to look around, clutching Emma to his chest as he watched the fade flicker and warp around him, the threads of it bending to mirror… home. He could see ma’s house in the valley, the garden waving about it as the wind bowed through the forest, carrying the scent of pollen and fallen leaves. Emma’s tree stood tall by the stream, towering above everything else until it seemed like it could touch the sky. Tears started forming as he looked over the lost vision of the farm he had grown up on.

“Wh-what just-- What is this place?” Hawke was gawking and spinning in a slow circle. 

Damon felt his chest constrict with sharp and conflicted emotions. “Home… it’s...  home.”

Solas gave a small laugh. “The demon controlling this area is no more… and it seems another has claimed ownership.” 

“Sooooo…” Varric raised an eyebrow and then started to chuckle. “We traded a demon for a Damon?”

“Well, this is an unexpected turn of events…” Dorian said thoughtfully as he leaned on his staff and cast Damon a calculating look. “This is not helping your ‘not a spirit’ argument.”

Really?  He was too tired for this again. He needed to get them all out of here.

“C’mon, y’all. Time to get out of here.” He didn’t know how much he had left in him.

Bull grunted and jerked his chin towards Emma. “Lil’Bit okay? That was some crazy shit she pulled.”

He glanced uncertainly at Solas, startling slightly at the way his aura seemed lit from within by the same silver as Emma’s. They weren't simply tangled anymore, but interwoven. Solas nodded and leaned against his staff as if he was exhausted. Pretending. He could see his aura still glowing brightly, unlike Emma’s dim flicker. “She is drained, but unharmed.” 

Damon looked at Loghain, who had something like an aura, but darker and… sick. Guy was staring at his sword blade with a lost expression. “Loghain.” The warden startled and looked at him blankly. It had to be world shattering to spend weeks believing you were fated to sacrifice yourself, to accept it as your part in saving the world. “You did good. You got rid of the false calling. Lead the way home?” 

The man straightened his shoulders and headed for the rift. Damon frowned at it as he followed closely, Solas by his side. It looked frayed, like something was pressing against it so harshly threads were breaking under the slightest pressure. But it wasn’t just around the tear, the whole place was like that, threadbare with bad patches and snarls. 

He forced his mind away from the scintillating threads of the veil and focused on keeping Emma’s fingers in his own as he carried her towards the rift behind Loghain. Solas was at his left and Cassandra was at his right, and the rest followed behind them as they stepped through the rift. 

It felt like being forced through a funnel and when they emerged into Adamant, Damon felt like his skin had shrunk. Like walking out of a rainy forest and into a silent room. He shuddered at the sudden absence of energy but kept his shoulders and spine straight as everyone filed out of the Fade and into the ancient fortress. His eyes roamed over the gaping faces of the Inquisition forces and remaining Wardens as he waited for everyone to reenter reality. As soon as Hawke and Varric made it through, he lifted his hand entwined with Emma’s and pressed it to the rift. He felt a tug through their connection and then a searing pain through his chest as the anchor in her hand flared to life and patched the fabric of the veil back together into a rough seam. 

He forced his breathing to stay even as the pain wrenched through him until with a final, sudden, bright stab of pain through his chest, the rift was closed. Gods… was that what it felt like every time for her? He turned to the watching people and they suddenly broke into loud cheers. Loghain drifted closer to him. 

“Corypheus has lost both his demon army and the Warden mages now that the Nightmare is dead. But the soldiers will no doubt spread stories of how you and the Herald broke the spell with the power of the Maker.” 

Damon hid a grimace. “They’ll say what they need to get through the night.” 

“Indeed.” 

A scout raced up, pushing past Dorian and Varric. “Inquisitor, the archdemon flew off as soon as you and the Herald disappeared. We have captured the Venatori magister, Commander Rutherford thought you might want to deal with him yourself.”

Damon felt a weariness at the fact that people still kept putting more and more lives under his control. 

“As for the Wardens, those who weren’t corrupted helped us fight the demons.” 

A warden stepped forward and saluted. “We stand ready to help make up for Clarel’s… tragic mistake.” He hesitated before turning to Loghain. “Loghain… you are the senior surviving Grey Warden. What do we do now?” 

Loghain set his jaw and looked at Damon. Damon inhaled subtly through the nose. Poise. Calm. Authority. “You stay with the Inquisition and do whatever you can to help. Loghain believes that the Wardens are worth saving, and I trust him. The Wardens are still vulnerable to Corypheus and possibly his Venetori, but there are plenty of demons that need killing, and the Herald has hope for you.”

Loghain straightened and faced him. “While they do, I will report to the Wardens at Weishaupt-”

“No.” Damon cut him off, Emma’s warning nagging at his head. “We can send ravens to them, it’s faster. The Wardens are susceptible to corruption and I don’t think it is wise that you go off into a distant den of them yet.”

Loghain looked away for a second before setting his mouth into a grim line. “What would you have me do then, ser?”

Damon forced himself not to flinch at the address. “Stay with the Inquisition, return with us to Skyhold. Help where you can, let us help you how we can.” 

The Warden that had spoken up first saluted. “Thank you, your worship. We will not fail you.” He strode off and began relaying orders to the other Wardens, while the scout rushed off to find Cullen. 

Loghain looked at the clustering Wardens with a scowl. “You have the makings of a great army, Inquisitor. Use it well.” 

Damon snorted. Why did people keep giving him armies and power? He wanted… he wanted a future, that was all. “ And He shall judge among the nations, and shall rebuke many people: and they shall beat their swords into ploughshares, and their spears into pruning hooks: nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more.” 

Loghain stilled. “That… sounds quite like a prophecy, Inquisitor.”

Damon shook his head, realizing how that would sound to the people here. “No. Maybe? I dunno. It’s something from… from Emma’s mom.” He glanced down at Emma’s unconscious form. “I need to get her somewhere to lay down.”

He managed to keep himself together as they led him to a cot to lay her down on while he met with Leliana and Cullen. He kept himself together as they talked over official things, as they laid out the details of what was to happen in the next few days. He kept himself together as he left Emma in Solas’ care and slipped through the ranks of soldiers and Wardens. He kept himself together until he slipped out from the main camp and to where the sounds of people were faint. Where there were no eyes on him.

Damon dropped onto the ground and buried his face in his hand, letting the tears go. Shit. They all knew. Emma knew. How she didn't hate him now he didn't understand. Unless she did but had just been saying what she needed to snap him out of it. They all knew. Would they leave now? Would they think less of him? Not be willing to be friends? 

He heard quiet footsteps but didn't look up. He didn't have the energy to drive anyone away. Especially with the gnawing uncertainty that anyone would be willing to stay with him.

"So. You look good for a dead guy." It was Varric. 

"I don't have enough left in me to play coy. You want an answer spit out a question." He sighed and wiped at his eyes. Varric was tenacious and wouldn't leave till he had what he wanted, but he was too drained for their usual dance. 

"How'd you survive?" 

“My boyfriend didn't know I used, I hid it pretty good, but I didn’t know he had left work early for my birthday. He was training to be a doctor, found me on the floor and got my heart going again before he took me to a- a healer."

"Shit. So you really used to be human? How'd that work out?"

Damon let out a strangled laugh. "Hell if I know."

Varric was quiet for a long moment. "It feels wrong to talk to you without dancing in circles."

"Yeah. Sorry." He didn't look up from his hand even when there was a long silence where he could feel Varric's eyes on him.

"That really has you all torn up, doesn't it?"

Damon let out a slightly hysterical laugh and lifted his head to look at him. "My parents were dead, my sister was gone, I was completely alone and I DIED, then when he found out I didn't quit using my boyfriend dropped me off at a rehab center, told me not to call, and changed the locks to his apartment. My friends stopped talking to me after they found out. I was left alone and with the knowledge that people who found out about my weakness would leave me. Now y'all know and I'm just waiting for the inevitable."

“Shit, we’re not gonna leave you just because we found out you’re creepy and weird. We already knew that, Blot.” Varric blinked at him.

Damon grunted noncommittally and dropped his head back into his hand. “Sure. Gotta deal with Corypheus and shit.”

“I’m feeling offended at your faith in us.”

“Emma didn’t know. I never told her. Pretended to believe I was dumb so she wouldn’t find out why I dropped out of school.”

“Oh. I feel a little better now. And that explains a lot about… you.” Varric hummed. “I knew that ‘aw shucks’ farm boy act was an act.”

“I am a farm boy.” Damon muttered. He hesitated before letting the confession spill out. “She wouldn’t… she wouldn’t stop pestering me to go back to school. But I fried my heart, usin’. Healer said I could drop dead anytime, would need a new heart but probably wouldn't get one cuz of the ‘history of substance abuse’. Wasn't any point getting student loans when I wouldn't ever live long enough to use the degree."

Varric was silent for a moment and when he spoke his voice was rough. "And now?"

"New body. New heart." Damon scrubbed his face with his hand. "Jokes on me. Took out a fancy life insurance policy on myself with Em as beneficiary and used my savings to pay off the family farm to leave to her, and now I’ve got a brand new fucking heart and no school to go back to."

 Varric inhaled slowly. “I’m… not going to touch any of that. But… Princess is awake now and asking after you. I think… I think you should go be with your friends. You shouldn’t be alone right now. You don’t have to be alone.”

Damon shuddered at the words, feeling them peel open barely healed scabs in his chest, but nodded. “Alright. Yeah.”

He slowly hefted himself to his feet, feeling every ache and strain of the day in his muscles. Varric eyed him with concern but stayed silent as he led the way to where Emma was. They had set up a little camp right outside of Adamant for the Main Circle, and Varric led him to the central fire where Emma was sitting on a makeshift chair next to Solas. The others were blatantly staring at her, but Solas was giving them a sharp look if they opened their mouths to speak.

Her eyes lit up when she saw him and she held out her hands to him. The gesture of acceptance felt like a breath of air to someone drowning, painful but full of utter relief. Damon went straight to her and dropped to his knees and put his head in Emma’s lap like he hadn’t since they were kids. Her hands immediately went to his hair, petting it comfortingly. 

“Sing for me?” His voice felt so small. He felt small. It… it wasn’t easy having your worst fear and secret play out in front of your best friend and sister. He needed her to remind him of better days, before secrets and fears worse than the dark. He needed her to let him know that they were still Blood Sisters, could still go back to those nights in the woods when it was just the two of them against the falling stars and huffing coyotes. 

“Yeah, okay. “She said quietly.

The relief was painful, but he had to be sure. “I mean… for real. Sing for real for me.”

She hesitated, but nudged his shoulder to make him get up. “Okay. Where?”

He stood up and took her hand. He could see Solas beside her, watching with unreadable eyes. As he led her to the spot he had found… before, Emma looked at their friends gathered around the fireplace and motioned for them to follow.

“You didn’t have to do that.” He said quietly. Her singing for real had always been just the two of them alone in the woods.

Solas fell into step beside Emma, who shook her head. “I don’t sing often and nobody should be alone right now.”

He squeezed her fingers and pointed to the boulder jutting out of the sand. She bit her lip but nodded, allowing him to lift her up and set her on it. The group formed a curious semicircle behind him as he passed her a water flask from his belt. She drank and gave it back down to him before standing and looking up at the moons overhead.

Damon fell back into the vague line of the group and looked up at her standing against the night sky, lit up in moonlight. 

She closed her eyes and started singing, her voice soft but still clear. “ It started out as a feeling, Which then grew into a hope, Which then turned into a quiet thought, Which then turned into a quiet word. And then that word grew louder and louder, 'Til it was a battle cry: I'll come back, When you call me, No need to say goodbye.”

Damon felt his heart twist at her choice of song before he let the familiar sound of her voice settle over him like a well loved blanket. She was singing for him. They would be okay. The group fell completely still and silent as her half open eyes began glowing a faint silver and her voice rose, her magic strengthening it until it filled the air around them and notes of music began floating in the air

“Just because everything's changing, Doesn't mean it's never been this way before. All you can do is try to know who your friends are, As you head off to the war. Pick a star on the dark horizon, And follow the light .”

Solas’ lips parted as he stared up at her in what looked to be awe. Damon glanced to his other side and saw Cass. He held out his hand and she took it, holding it gently as they listened to Emma sing.

“ You'll come back when it's over, No need to say goodbye. You'll come back when it's over, No need to say goodbye.”

Emma’s eyes were glowing as bright as her voice and Damon felt a familiar chill up his spine as her voice gained power amidst the familiar song.

“Now we're back to the beginning, It's just a feeling and no one knows yet, But just because they can't feel it too, Doesn't mean that you have to forget.”

Emma’s eyes opened fully and the light of her magic cast her face in sharp shadows. Her voice rose in a timbre of pure power, plaintive and clear, and Damon felt a rush of energy spark through his veins. He saw Solas’ eyes spark green out of the corner of his eye and looked over at him and subtly pointing at his own eye with his free hand to warn him. Solas startled and paled before he pressed a hand over his own eyes.

“Let your memories grow stronger and stronger, 'Til they're before your eyes. You'll come back. When they call you. No need to say goodbye

“You’ll come back, when they call you. No need to say goodbye.”

As the final notes faded away, Damon looked around at the group in time to see a faint purple sheen fade from Dorian’ eyes and Solas with his eyes still squeezed shut over his vivid green power. Emma’s magic slowly faded and she held out a hand to Damon. He let go of Cass and helped her back down to even ground.

Dorian looked disturbed. “What was that? I felt…” He looked at his hands in confusion.

Solas still had his eyes shut. “Her magic called to ours as she sang, and it responded.”

Dorian ran a hand carefully over his hair before shaking his head in disbelief. “Emma my dear, never go to Tevinter. I fear they’d dissect you in a vain attempt to learn how your magic works.” 

Emma looked exhausted. She always did after she truly sang. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

“That song… it was… you were beautiful.” Cass said quietly. “I have not felt something like that since…” She trailed off wistfully. 

Solas seemed to regain some control and opened his eyes, which now held no more signs of his power. “Her magic is instinctual. Damon’s emotions and soul needed calming, so that is what she did. It was essentially a calming spell wrapped into a song. It had more effect on us because it had an aura to reach out to.” Solas ran his hands over Emma's shoulder as he moved to stand behind her, taking some of her weight by allowing her to lean back into him. “I would suspect the entire camp just felt the effect of the spell.”

Varric nodded. “I'd say after the night we just had, that's exactly what some of these poor sods needed.”

Damon felt an incredible surge of fondness for his little sister. You couldn’t get much more honest about how you felt about someone than accidental magic. “Yeah. Thank you, Konstantina. Really.” 

Emma pulled away from Solas to wrap her arms around his middle and bury her face. “Love you.”

He squeezed her as tightly as he squeezed his eyes shut to prevent himself from crying. Things just might be okay… “Love you too, hun.”

  
  
  
  


They were watching her, they were trying not to be creepy about it but still they were watching her. She could practically hear the unspoken questions in their minds. 

Solas had escorted her back to sit by the fire and placed a plate of food into her hands. She hadn't felt like eating but he insisted she at least try. Dorian was the worst. He didn't mean to be but he seemed to be bubbling over with barely restrained questions. She didn't know how to say it but she wished they'd just come out with it. She felt like a bug under glass.

Damon was her hero as always. He glanced around before rolling his eyes and sighing. “C’mon, y’all, I thought we was past this. If you got questions, spit ‘em out!”

“We were simply waiting until she had recovered.” Dorian sniffed, a spot of a blush on his face. 

“Right, and everyone starin’ at her like she grew two heads is helpin’ her rest.” Damon rolled his hand in a ‘get to it’ gesture. 

Varric chuckled before pulling out a piece of paper from his pocket. Seriously!? He wrote his questions down? “So…” he started out drawing out the word. “That big cat thing… that's not normal magic is it?”

Damon snorted. “In all the time Emma's had magic, when has ‘normal magic’ ever been in the same sentence with her name?”

Solas, as always, saved her from having to try and explain it to them by a quick summary of what had happened. “It was a complicated form of spirit magic.”

Dorian rolled his eyes. “Yes I am aware, but how was she able to maintain it? I've never seen magic on that's scale and only heard of it with the use of blood magic.”

Solas rubbed small circles into her back as he spoke. She was glad that he had access to her memories of Dorian, they were much more civil to each other then they ever were in game. “We were in the very Fade itself. The source of a mage’s magic. She simply tapped into it instinctively.”

Emma nodded along as she listened, it made sense. She had felt… energetic…kinda full during their stint in the fade.

“You're bright.” Emma jumped slightly as Cole appeared next to her holding out a roll to her. “Brighter now. Lights combined, you need to eat.” 

Emma gave him a small smile and took the roll, “Thanks.” Cole nodded and disappeared again before anyone could ask him what that was all about. 

“Gotta say, as creepy as that is, it was pretty impressive, Lil’bit.” Bull said from across the fire. “But, uh, Boss? How’d you-?” He scrunched up his face in confusion and gestured to the whole of Damon. 

Emma glanced at Damon, who was staring at his hands with a sad expression. “I don’t know, Bull. I honestly don’t know. I just… woke up in the fade like this.”

“Regardless of how, I think we’d do best to focus on the present.” Cass said, her voice was calm but her eyes were glaring at Bull in clear challenge. 

Bull raised his hands in surrender and sat back. 

“Ah, It seems I missed something spectacular.” Zevran said as he materialized behind Hawke to settle on the ground next to the fire. “I find myself sorry to have stayed behind.”

“Not me.” Sera said with a visible shudder. “Sitting through you guys talking about it was enough Fade shite for me.” Everyone nodded in agreement to her statement.

Varric made two check marks on the paper before looking up. “So… that word that had you hauling ass back to Princess, you said it in the Fade too. Ragnarok. It means something big, doesn’t it?” 

“ Now I shall tell you of the days to come. I shall tell you how it will end, and then how it will begin once more. These are dark days I will tell you of, dark days and hidden things, concerning the ends of the earth and the death of the gods. Listen, and you will learn. This is how we will know that the end times are upon us. It will be far from the age of the gods, in the time of men. It will happen when the gods all sleep.” Emma quietly quoted Neil Gaiman. She saw Solas’ jaw tighten as he stared determinedly at the flames of the fire.

Damon closed his eyes and tilted his head back, inhaling shakily before beginning to recite the poem he had memorized for Winter Solstice for his mom. She remembered sitting with a worn piece of paper and listening to him practice, correcting him when he stumbled over a word. 

“ HO! Heimdal sounds the Gjallar-horn: 

The hosts of Hel rush forth 

And Fenris rages redly 

From his shackles in the North 

Unleashed is Garm, and Lok is loosed, 

And freed is Giant Rime; 

The Rainbow-bridge is broken 

By the hordes of Muspelheim. 

The wild Valkyries ride the wind 

With spear and clanging shield 

Where all the Hates embattled 

Are met on Vigrid-field;” His voice cracked and he stopped, his throat working like he was having trouble swallowing. She picked up where he had left off. He had practiced aloud so often that she had accidentally memorized it too.

“For there shall fall the Mighty Ones 

By valiant men adored--

Great Odin, Tyr the fearless, 

And Frey that sold his sword. .

And Thor shall slay the dragon 

Whose breath shall be his bane. 

The gods themselves shall perish: 

The sons of the gods shall reign!” Emma finished the stanza, her hand slipping into his as tears welled up in the corners of his eyes. 

“Old Time shall sound the boding horn 

Again and yet again, rouse the warring passions 

That swell the hearts of men. 

Revolt shall wake, and Anarchy, 

With all their horrid throng--

Revenge, Destruction Rapine,

The spawn of ancient Wrong,

With all the hosts of slaughter 

That our own sins must breed-

Cold Hate, Oppression's daughter, 

And Rage, the child of Greed. ” His voice caught again and he squeezed Emma’s fingers. 

“Then, though we stand to battle 

As men have ever stood, 

Down, down shall crash our temples, 

The Evil and the Good; 

Yea, all that now we cherish 

Must pass--but not in vain. 

The gods we love shall perish; 

The sons of the gods shall reign!” Emma’s voice was quiet as she continued. She missed Aunt Gemma and Uncle Chase. She missed her family.

“So, strong in faith, or weak in doubt, 

Or berserk-mad, we range 

Our spears in that long battle 

Which means not Death, but Change. 

Our highest with our lowest 

Must own the grim behest, 

And Good shall yield for Better--

Else how should come the Best?” He stopped there. Aunt Gemma had never liked the part about raising new gods, and neither did he. While the poem was beautiful, she knew it wasn’t what Ragnarok truly was. 

There was a long silence as everyone stared at them with pale, horrified faces. She didn’t know what to do.

Loghain stood suddenly and walked away, his shoulders tense.

Bull looked away. “Shit, Boss.”

Dorian pulled himself together and gave a little sniff. “Are all the authors from your homeland quite so dramatic?”

 Damon opened his eyes as Cass slipped her hand into his and shrugged a shoulder apologetically. “Ragnarok is the beginning of the end of the beginning.”

“That all sounds like a load of shite, yeah? All circles and blegh, I’m dangerous and grim.” Sera wrinkled her nose and kicked her feet up by the fire. 

Zevran shrugged. “Ah, but it makes for an excellent story, does it not?”

Damon snorted with a quirk of a smile. “Birds of a feather.”

Zevran laughed, looking slightly surprised. “Quite so, my friend, quite so.”

Hawke looked pale and a little nauseous as she caught Emma's eye. “Fenris?”

Emma shook her head before resting it on Damon’s shoulder. Her other hand gripped Solas’ fingers tightly. “Not your Fenris. The Great Wolf, Fen, Fenrir, Fenris,  Fenrisúlfr, Hróðvitnir, Vánagandr. He’s the son of the god that Aunt Gemma worshipped.” She gave a little huff at the end and smiled fondly. “Though Fenris is a force of nature himself.”

Solas looked over at her and arched an eyebrow. Phantom fingers stroked her aura causing her to shiver. “Stop.” She tried to whisper but it came out more husky than she’d intended.

“Please don’t magically bad touch each other next to me?” Damon winced.

“Apologies.” Solas chuckled, earning him a light elbow from Emma who felt a hot blush spread over her face. He chuckled more and stood before she could assault his ribs again. “I will go make sure our tent is set up.”

Varric rubbed his face with one hand, crumpling the paper up with the other. “Still so many questions, but after that display, I’m not willing to ask them anymore. You two are… a lot to process.” He laughed wryly. “You know, Princess? I almost decided to call you Kitten. Kind of glad I didn’t. You’re a bit scarier than a kitten.”

Everyone chuckled at that, but silence soon fell over the group as they ate. Emma was able to take a few bites of the roll but the last thing she wanted was food. What if the Nightmare had been correct? S he could’ve done something for Frya. Anything.

Solas soon returned, dragging her out of her thoughts by taking her hand and insisting they turn in for the night, which was easier said than done. 

Solas wouldn’t admit it but she could tell what the nightmare said was tormenting him. His aura was troubled as he undressed and his shoulders were tense. 

Emma sighed and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind, he relaxed with a small sigh and rested his hand over hers clasped at his chest. “I am alright, Emma’lath.” His voice was light but there was a strained quality to it.

She stayed silent for a moment before asking. “Wanna talk about it?” She pressed a light kiss to his back, hoping he’d relax some more.

“No.” His voice held a note of finality as he turned and gathered her in his arms. “Time is fleeting, ma’lath and I will not waste a second of it.” He punctuated it with a searing kiss. This time his touch wasn’t gentle or languid, but urgent and possessive like it hadn’t been since their first kiss. He needed the reassurance and she did too. She was here with him right now and she was his for as long as they had. Whatever time they had left they’d face, but for now it was just them together in the dark.

Solas finally fell asleep some time later but she couldn't find a comfortable position and when she did she just laid there with her eyes closed. After a good two hours of doing nothing but staring at the canvas above her, she eased from the bedroll so not to wake Solas, who was no doubt deep in the fade exploring every inch of the area Damon had created, and slipped out the tent, not even bothering with her boots. 

There was a slight chill in the air despite the fact it had been unbearably hot during the day. Seems all deserts are the same no matter what universe you’re from. She wrapped her arms around herself and rubbed her hands on her upper arms to warm them as she walked through the silent sand. She startled when she heard footsteps behind her and whirled with a dagger drawn in case it was… was what? She let the dagger lower before she even registered that it was Loghain.

The warden eyed the dagger still in her hand before stepping closer. “You shouldn't be alone. Even within your own camp you could be targeted.”

Emma shook her head and put her dagger back into its sheath. “I've survived this long I think I'll be okay.” She said a little irritably. She was tired but couldn't sleep.

Loghain frowned down at her and she could practically see his disapproval. “Like it or not, you are an important person. It would serve Corypheus greatly if you should be killed or captured.” 

“Fine!” Emma huffed then rubbed her forehead. “I just- I can't sleep.”

Loghain looked around the camp. “I doubt you are the only one having difficulty finding sleep.”

Emma took in his slightly haggard appearance and whispered quietly “Like you?”

He scowled and looked away. “If you wish, I shall follow behind so you can walk in safety.” His tone brokered no argument.

His offer shocked her. “You don't have to. I-”

“If you insist on putting yourself at risk then, yes, I do.” He cut her off with a sharp look.

She frowned, ready to argue, but realized she was too tired to fight with him. He had almost died for her twice now, she doubted she’d convince him to stop trying. She shrugged and turned away to continue her walk. Immediately, his footsteps fell in time behind her. 

There wasn't a whole lot of activity in the camp, a few passing guards on patrol and watch duty, but otherwise it was pretty calm. She would say peaceful if weren’t for the fires from the battle at Adamant still burning in the background. She was glad Cullen had decided to set up camp outside the fortress so they wouldn’t have to breathe the smoke and dust.

Speaking of their commander, apparently he was another victim of restlessness tonight, because she turned a corner to find him sitting outside his tent with his head tipped back to study the impeccably clear sky.

He turned his head towards her as she approached, Loghain trailing not two steps behind. “Lady Emma.” He said in mild surprise as he went to stand but she waved him down.

“Don't bother.” She said as she dropped to sit on the ground close by. “I can't sleep.”

He looked at her in concern. “Does something trouble you?”

She looked back at Adamant and he sighed. “Ah.”

“That… was my first actual battle. I’ve fought in the villages, I’ve fought bandits, I’ve faced Corypheus. But…” She trailed off, uncertain.

He nodded in understanding and looked back up at the sky. “It is… different.” 

Loghain settled in as a silent shadow behind them and Emma wondered how they had gone from spitting hurtful words at each other to him volunteering to protect her. “How- What do you do?”

“Pray, sometimes. Keep busy, mostly.” He glanced back at Loghain and his mouth settled into a grimly pleased line. “I’m glad you are not out alone.” 

Emma grimaced. “He insisted. I don’t need to be babysat.”

Cullen chuckled and looked back at Loghain, whose lips quirked up slightly. “Thank you for that. She rarely sees the danger about her.”

Emma groaned and fell backward dramatically. “Not you too!?” 

“It would make me feel easier if you allowed him. Not to mention your brother and husband.” He said as he looked down at where she was sprawled on the ground.

“Pack of mother hens.” She sighed but waved her hand in the air. “It’s not like I can outrun all of y’all.” 

Loghain huffed and mumbled something about ‘childish behavior’ earning him a mock glare from her. Yeah, she was acting kinda childish but he didn't have to say it. No one would like having someone to follow them around all the time. The thought made her wonder how Alistair was doing. She’d have to check on them when they got back- oh crap!

Her eyes snapped up to Loghain, who was looking in the direction of Adamant. “Are you- what are you going to do now?”

Loghain’s jaw tightened. “The Inquisitor ‘suggested’ I return to Skyhold with you until we have a better understanding of the remaining Wardens’ condition.” 

That meant… well crap! She chewed on her lip, somehow she'd have to keep them separate. 

“How-” Cullen hesitated. “How is the Inquisitor?” 

Emma sat up and fiddled with the hem of her shirt. “Shaken… that wasn't easy for any of us.”

Cullen nodded but she thought he looked momentarily frustrated. “I would suspect not. His… friends are helping?” 

Emma nodded. “Cass hasn't left his side,” she smiled at that. “She's good for him.”

“I’m… glad.”

“The pair of you are as awkward as a pair of newling colts.” Loghain snorted.

Emma gave him a flat look and Cullen bristled but blushed. “We’re not-!” He paused and shook his head. “Maker’s breath, we are, aren’t we?”

Emma looked at him for moment before she grinned stuck her hand out for a handshake. “Emma Konstantina, impossible mage and improbably childish. Pleasure to re-meet you.”

Cullen startled before laughing and shaking her hand awkwardly from where he sat. “Cullen Rutherford, ex templar and, as I’ve been told, bashful commander. Pleasure to re-meet you as well.” 

They laughed and sat in companionable silence, for exactly how long she wasn’t sure. But the sky was starting to lighten when she finally stood and bid Cullen goodbye. She felt slightly bad for keeping both men up but neither of them complained so they must not have minded. Cullen even thanked her for the company.

She was wandering back in the general direction of her and Solas’ tent when she had turned back to ask Loghain something and walked straight into a wall of armor. She started to stutter out an apology, then froze when she realized that it was a sheepish looking Blackwall. 

“What are you doing here!?” 

‘My lady, I-” Blackwall started but Loghain cut him off sharply.

“Watch where you are going, Soldier.” It came out as a commanding growl.

Emma rolled her eyes at him. ”I ran into him, chill.” Then looked back to Blackwall who was studying Loghain’s Warden armor and then realized the man was wearing regular Inquisition issue armor. “Did you seriously sneak back here instead of staying at the Keep?” 

Blackwall bristled and looked down at her with a frown. “The Wardens were in danger.” He defended. “You didn’t expect me to stay behind while my-”

“There was a reason you were left behind, Thom.” Emma rushed to cut him off before he claimed to be a Warden in front of Loghain.

Blackwall paled at his true name. “H-how?”

Emma sighed, this was not how she planned on telling him she knew. She turned to face Loghain,  “Could you, um, give us a second?” When Loghain frowned she gave an exasperated huff and pointed behind her. “My tent is right there and this is one of Damon’s trusted inner circle. I’ll be perfectly safe. Thank you.” 

Loghain eyed Blackwall doubtfully but gave her a slight bow. A bow? Really? “Very well. I will leave her safet y in your hands, Ser Thom.” 

Blackwall flinched but nodded gravely. “I will keep her safe.”

Loghain’s eyes narrowed but he walked away, leaving Emma with the shaken looking Blackwall. She held up her hand when he opened his mouth, rushing to say her piece first. “I know who you are, it’s kinda my thing to know things, but I knew before I told Damon we needed to recruit you.”

“Does he…?”

“He doesn’t know, but if you feel you must, you can talk to him privately.” She frowned. “And Wardens can sense when another person is a Warden, it’s part of their abilities. So… if you claimed to be Blackwall, a well known Warden, in front of him he’d call you out immediately.” 

Blackwall or Thom sobered at that new information. “So you left me at the keep to… protect my…”

She nodded. “Yeah…”

“Why? Why would you, of all people, you try to protect me from my crimes?” The question was asked quietly in a near whisper. It felt so strange seeing this bear of a man looking so vulnerable. 

Emma sighed. “Because I believe in second chances. Everybody in the inner circle has secrets, some worse than others. You’ve done a lot of good things as Blackwall. But it might be time for Thom to come back?” When he didn’t answer she reached out and touched his arm lightly. “Just talk to Damon, okay?”

“I… will take that into consideration, Lady Herald.” He said as he straightened his shoulders and turned on his heel before walking away stiffly.

Emma sighed and looked up at the sky, which was considerably lighter now. Everyone would be waking up soon, she had better head back. 

She slipped back into her tent and had just sat down on her side of the bedroll when Solas began to stir.  She was somewhat surprised he hadn't missed her absence throughout the night.

She smiled when his eyes opened and he blinked blearily up at her. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, Emma’lath.” He said as he raised up on his elbows. He stared at her and raised an eyebrow. “You did not sleep.”

She shook her head and chuckled. “Dare I ask how you know?”

“Quite easily, ma’lath.” He cocked his head to the side. “You never wake before me and must be dragged from bed.”

Emma shrugged. “Yeah, I just couldn’t sleep.”

Understanding lit his features.“Ah, the battle weighs on your mind.” When she nodded he sat completely up and pulled her into a hug. “You did everything you could do. Do not allow guilt to gain a foothold. Such things as this are beyond even your control.”

They stayed like that until they heard the noises of the camp waking up and Emma pulled away and wiped away tears she hadn’t realized she had shed.. “We should probably get up, I don't think I could sleep even if I tried.” 

Solas nodded and hurried to dress as she slipped back out of the tent. Damon was already up sitting next to the fire preparing a skillet, Cass sitting next to him and giving him silent support.

“Morning.” She said, trying to sound cheerful but it fell pretty flat.

Damon gave her a wan smile. “Mornin’ Lil’Bit.” He hesitated before focusing back on the skillet. “Breakfast will be ready soonish.”

She frowned and looked at Cass who gave her a ‘talk to him’ look before standing up and squeezing Damon’s shoulder. “I need to go take care of something, I will be back in a few minutes.”

Damon looked up at her and there was no missing the slight panic in his eyes before he quickly refocused of the food. Emma felt at a loss at what to say or do. She’d never seen him awkward like this before. At least not since he was twelve and still unsure about himself. 

Emma sat down and stared at the fire, her stomach rolling at the smell of frying meat. She felt exhausted and emotionally drained. Adamant, the Fade, the Demon, Loghain and Alistair, and Blackwall… Damon… Was he was so scared that she would hate him now that she knew how he’d fallen apart after his parents? But she didn’t! She-

She yelped when Bull startled her from her thoughts by poking her in the ribs. “Don’t do that! I’m ticklish!”

She realized that was exactly the wrong thing to say when his eyebrow flew up and he grinned. She tried to scramble away, but he moved too quickly and had her trapped against the ground with one hand and began mercilessly tickling her ribs with the other. She shrieked for him to stop and tried to wiggle away but couldn’t manage anything over her laughter. She was hiccuping with tears in her eyes by the time she managed to screech out, “Katoh!”

Immediately Bull’s hands left her and he stepped back. She giggled and hiccuped on the ground for a few moments before shakily sitting up, still breaking into laughter from the unexpected tickle attack. 

“You good?” Bull sounded more amused than concerned. 

“I’m,” She hiccuped. “I’m good.”

Emma startled when Damon dropped onto the ground in front of her, an honest smile on his face. “Emma Gloria Konstantina, how did you know about Katoh?”

She turned bright red when she realized that he would know it was Bull’s safeword. “Um… it means stop? In Qunlat?”

Damon’s eyes narrowed. “Uh huh…” His eyes widened suddenly and he grinned wickedly in delight. “Holy shit! You know what it is! That means-” his eyebrows shot upward.  “How many of them?!”

She frowned and started counting the romanceable characters on her fingers. Solas, Dorian, Leliana- 

Solas’ hand appeared suddenly to close over her fingers. “We are not having that discussion.”

She nodded eagerly, happy to avoid the subject. Damon clasped her face in his hands and leaned very closely. “I. Will. Find. Out.”

Emma panicked slightly before she got an idea and gave him an impish grin. She kissed his cheek before mock whispering in his ear. “I had Cass before you.”

His hands fell away from her face in shock and his jaw dropped open.

“What does that mean?” Cassandra asked in a tone that sounded like she wasn’t sure if she should be offended or not. “Emma, what do you mean?”

Emma looked at Damon, who still looked stunned but amused, all awkwardness between them disappeared and she gave Bull a grateful look. 

 


	55. Chapter 55

Damon slept fitfully, slipping  between lonely, green tinted dreams and the cold darkness of reality. Cass was a line of warm comfort against him, her arms tight around his waist every time he flailed awake and her lips pressed against his shoulder as she murmured reassurances that she was there, that she had him. He found himself tangling his fingers into her tunic, holding on lest she slip away. So she couldn’t leave him alone.

The sun was barely giving the air a silver tint before he gave up trying to rest further. He pressed a kiss to Cassandra’s forehead in grateful apology. He felt guilty for keeping her awake, but so, so grateful that she had not left him alone. “Thank you.”

She pressed her hand to the side of his face and searched his eyes intently before nodding. “I have you.”

He exhaled softly and pressed his forehead against hers. “I’ve got you.”

She squeezed his forearm. “Come, let us find something to feed our pack of puppies before they begin chewing on the boots.”

He smiled at the joke. He felt nervous about facing them again in the light of day, but cooking always helped. Would Emma even talk to him now? Would any of them? Cass punched his shoulder gently and he shoved his anxiety down and took her hand. They left her tent together and went to the firepit. Cass had an Inquisition mage light the magic fire and Damon rifled through the supply crates to find something to cook. He found some venison steaks in their rations bags and began setting up the skillet to fry it up. 

Cassandra settled in next to him, humming under her breath as she began slicing the meat for him. He glanced up when he heard footsteps and saw Solas and Emma exit their tent and head for the fire. Emma had dark circles under her eyes and looked queasy. 

She gave him a wan smile and gave an obvious effort to sound cheerful, but it sounded tired. “Morning.”

He tried to return her smile, feeling uncertain and wrong footed. “Good morning, Lil’Bit.” He paused, realizing he didn’t know what else to say, and focused back on the skillet with a harsh tightness in his chest. “Breakfast will be ready soonish.” 

After a moment of silence, Cassandra squeezed his shoulder and stood to leave. “I need to go take care of something, I will be back in a few minutes.”

Damon looked up at her, feeling panicked at her leaving him, but realized he was being ridiculous. He focused on his cooking and tried to swallow down his pulse. The silence dragged on and Damon felt his stomach twisting with every awkward second. Suddenly Emma yelped and he looked up to see her jumping away from Bull. 

“Don’t do that! I’m ticklish!”

Bull grinned and Damon couldn’t help a chuckle when Emma tried to escape and Bull just leaped forward and pinned her to the ground with one hand. He began tickling her and Emma shrieked with laughter, crying out between giggles for him to stop as she struggled to get away. Damon smiled in amusement and thought about going to help her when she screeched. “Katoh!”

Bull let her go and asked if she was all right but Damon’s brain was stuck on her knowing that word. He moved to where she could see him from where she was sprawled on the ground and grinned at her in shocked delight. “Emma Gloria Konstantina, how did you know about Katoh?”

“Um… it means stop? In Qunlat?” She blushed, letting him know that she knew exactly what it was. 

He grinned at her. “Holy shit! You know what it is! That means-” Then he realized that if she had romanced Solas, and Alistair, and Zevran… and Bull… “How many of them?!”

She blinked and frowned and started counting on her fingers before Solas ruined it by appearing and closing his hand over her fingers. “We are not having that discussion.”

Emma nodded eagerly. No way, she wasn't getting away that easily. Damon grinned and clasped her face in his hands, leaning in very closely. “I. Will. Find. Out.”

He saw her panicking slightly before her features melted into an impish grin and she stretched up to kiss his cheek before mock whispering in his ear. “I had Cass before you.”

She. Did. Not. Just.... But she did. His hands fell away from her face in shock and felt his jaw drop open.

“What does that mean?”  Cass’ voice snapped him out of his shook, she sounded like she wasn’t sure if she should be offended or not. “Emma, what do you mean?”

Emma locked eyes with him and grinned before letting Solas pull her away.

Holy shit, this was the best thing ever. He was definitely going to find out how many of them she had romanced in the games though. His newly found good mood lasted until they were cleaning up from breakfast. Emma had only taken about a few mouthfuls and a runner approached him with a note from Cullen. He felt his face fall when he took the note but straightened his spine and thanked the runner before opening the note. 

He needed to help organize the chaos after the battle. He let Bull take over cleaning out the skillet and looked at Cass. She shook her head and pointed at Emma. He felt the flutter of panic at being refused, but obeyed. 

“Hey, Em… Would you… would you help me with my hair?”

Emma paused before a bright smile spread across her face. “Oh! Yes! Yeah, I can help!”

Her honest excitement over being asked was such a soothing reassurance. He felt grateful for Cassandra suggesting it. He smiled and moved over to the rock she had been sitting on earlier so she could reach his hair. 

She hummed quietly while she finger combed out the old braid and he didn't miss how the group moved closer to discreetly listen. He doubted anyone would be leaving her alone now that they knew that not only did she have stories, but she had songs. He let his eyes close as she combed through his hair with her fingers and hummed the tune to May It Be. This felt like home. 

All too soon Emma was done braiding and patted his shoulder. He reached up and pressed his hand over her fingers in thanks before standing and shaking out his arms. To work. 

Cass gave him a bracing smile and he gave her a slight bow, grinning at the disgusted noise she made in her throat at the gesture. He found Cullen quickly near the gates of Adamant. The man was hunched over a makeshift table covered in papers, his face grim as a runner slid another piece of paper onto its surface. 

He looked up when he noticed Damon's approach and waved at the table. “This is the worst part of any battle. Discovering what it truly cost to secure our victory.”

Damon’s heart sank along with the words. “How many?”

Cullen picked up a piece of paper and passed it to him silently. Damon looked over the figure and the beginning of a list of names. Too many. Too many had died so he could get Emma to the Fade. Too many had died because of a madman seeking power.

“What-” his throat constricted but he pressed on. “What's being done for the… families?”

Cullen shook his head. “I fear… I set aside the month’s wages for each and send it to them, but further than that you would have to speak with the Lady Josephine.” He hesitated before adding. “We are to hold a mass funeral pyre for the fallen. The men- it would do them good to hear from the Inquisitor if you are up to it?”

He nodded. “I’ll do what I can. Is… What do they need to hear from me?”

Cullen shook his head before running a hand through his hair. “Maker’s breath. I don't know.”

“You honor the fallen and promise that their sacrifice won't be forgotten.” Damon jerked his head in the direction of the sound of a new voice to find Loghain leaning with his back against the wall. “You make sure they don't lose sight of the victory here despite the losses.”

Damon pointed at him emphatically. “Thank you. That helps.” He ran his hand over his face uncertainty. “So, uh, quick question, what… what are funerals like here?”

Loghain blinked then shook his head, sighing. “A Chantry mother will be asked to perform rites, afterwards you will be expected, as the highest ranking individual here, to say a few words, then you will be asked to light the pyre.”

“Right. Cremation. Thanks again.”

Cullen hesitated before rubbing the back of his neck. “So… it’s true then? You… came into existence at the Conclave?” 

Damon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “As far as I know, I’m not a spirit.” 

“This… is a common question?” He could practically feel Loghain’s raised eyebrows.

“I’ll… figure out what to say at the funeral. For now, what needs to be tended to?”

Cullen nodded sharply. “Right…”

Damon threw himself into the work, talking with the advisers, making decisions on gods knew how many matters, and trying to wrack his brain for what to say at the funeral as well as figure out how to care for the families left behind by the fallen people. He needed to find Josephine to talk about what was possible- He felt a hand settle on his arm and shook his head. “I’ll be with you in just a moment.”

“Damon. Delegate.” He glanced over to find Solas holding a bowl of what looked like soup. Solas took a small sip from it before handing it to him.

Damon laughed. He couldn’t help it. It felt so ridiculous to still be freaking out over that, but then his friends went and did silly things to make him feel better and shit, he was crying. He choked back a wet laugh and accepted the soup. He drained it in a few swallows before setting it aside. “Thank you. Where’s Emma?”

“I took her through the wounded. We healed who we could and she spoke to others. They… are comforted by her.” He paused. “She is still there, reading and writing letters, but asked me to make sure you ate.” 

“Good. That’s good. And thanks, I had forgotten and Cass is helping organize the efforts to collect the… the bodies.” He felt his stomach turn at the thought of the dead. They had fallen for his sake. Their blood was on his head. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Cassandra, Bull, Loghain, and Hawke are helping collect bodies for the funeral. Sera, Varric, and Zevran are finding the children and servants hidden in the fortress and are coaxing them out to safety. Emma and Cole are tending to the wounded in the courtyard. I believe the Nightingale and the Ambassador are by the gates and the Commander is inside the fortress.”

“Right. Thanks. Here.” He pressed a few papers into Solas’ hands and started walking away.

“Wait, what is-”

“Delegation!” He called back as he hurried off to find Josephine before she changed locations again. 

The funeral had been … solemn. With the suggestions Loghain had given and the help of Solas, he had been able to get through it without looking totally inept. The speech had been ‘comforting and heartening’ according to Leliana and he had the sinking suspicion she had had it transcribed and spread as propaganda the second he turned his back. He’d had the shields of the fallen from each side gathered into stacks side by side beside the pyre and as it burned, Solas had used his skill with convincing metal to transform them into a monument of a pair of trees wound together. Braided trees of Silverite and Steel for protection and shelter so that the sacrifice and purpose of the fallen would not be forgotten. 

After the fallen had been honored and cremated, Cullen had wasted no time organizing their departure, something Damon was eternally grateful for. The sooner they got away from this place the easier he’d breathe. While the army was travelling back, he was heading back to Skyhold with the Council, the ‘Inner Circle’, Loghain and Hawke, and enough servants, soldiers, and scouts to handle the Ambassador, Commander, and Spymaster needs. The Chargers had also joined back up with them for the journey back, and that large a group meant slow going. Which meant that there was plenty of time to pull Solas aside for a private chat while Emma was distracted by Josephine. 

“Hey, so you know how I can sorta… ‘see’ magic when me an’ Em are linked up?”

Solas gave him a wary look, which was totally unfair. “Yes, I am aware.”

“So when we linked up in the Fade, I kinda got a quick look at the Veil. Or at least I think it was the veil. It looked like how I’d imagine the Veil would look, kinda like threads of energy although that kinda brings theoretical physics to mind and I think string theory might be applicable like hell here, but I was more an engineer major rather than a physicist, but it-”

“Damon. Please.” Solas rolled his eyes his tone light and teasing. “I think Emma would be upset if you took the trait of rambling from her.” 

Damon paused and gave a strained laugh when he realized he was rambling. “Yeah. Sorry, I’m feeling kinda… anxious lately.”

Solas sobered and spoke quietly. “I do not think less of you for knowing of your past.”

Damon sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth. “Thanks. But yeah. The Veil. I think I saw it, and it looks… like it’s in rough shape. Is it… Did Corypheus do that?”

Solas’ grip on the reins tightened. “No. It… is an inevitable decay.”

“Entropy.” At Solas’ curious look he expounded with a grin. “The natural tendency of any isolated system to degenerate into a more disordered state.”

Solas blinked before nodding. “Quite so. How-”

“Thermodynamics. I…” Damon wrinkled his nose, feeling uncomfortable about letting his head show. “I used to be a huge physics nerd. Thermodynamics wasn’t really my major, but I enjoyed them.” 

Solas’ fingers twitched before he sighed. “I fear I do not have the vocabulary required to discuss that… fascinating theory, but yes. The veil is decaying.” 

“So those artifacts…?” Damon’s brain raced to connect dots.

“Were used to fix the veil in place. They… ‘buy us some time’.”

Damon chewed on his lower lip in thought. “S’gonna be bad if it just flat out drops. Like, cataclysmic bad, ain’t it?”

“Yes. I… I fear what would happen if it were allowed to simply… fall.” He looked up sharply and Damon followed his line of sight to see a rider pulling closer to them with a pensive expression. Damon frowned when he recognized Blackwall in Inquisition armor instead of his warden armor.

“Hey. Weren’t you at Griffon Keep? We were gonna swing by to pick you back up.” Damon put a smile on, pleased to see the guy despite the weird circumstances. 

Blackwall nodded and shifted in his saddle uncomfortably. His shoulders were tense. “Yes, um…” his eyes drifted towards Solas who was studying him curiously. “May I speak with you privately, Inquisitor?”

Damon glanced at Solas, who narrowed his eyes at the man before understanding crossed his features and he met Damon's eyes. “We can continue at another time. I find myself interested in your opinions on the subject.” Though his words said one thing, his expression was sorrowful as if he was wishing he could spare Damon what was coming. Blackwall was wanting to ‘Talk’ then, and Emma and therefore Solas knew what about already.  

. Damon gave a slight tilt of his head and a crooked smile to show he’d got the message and Solas inclined his head to Blackwall in farewell and guided his horse to rejoin Emma. 

“Sure. What’s up?”

Blackwall glanced up before snorting. “I always forget.” He sobered and worried the reins between his fingers before speaking. “The Herald advised me to… be honest with you.”

Damon squinted at him for a moment before hazarding a guess, keeping his tone light. “Blackwall’s not your real name, you’re not actually a warden, you’re on the run for murder, or some combination of the three?” 

Blackwall paled and he shut his eyes tightly before giving a curt nod. “Thom Rainier.” He confirmed quietly. “Warden Blackwall has been dead for many years. I assumed his identity to hide.”

“Hoo boy.” Damon slumped forward and pressed his forehead to the back of MoFo’s neck. He hated being right. Murder? Shit.  He couldn’t… he couldn’t just let that go, keep it hidden like Solas’ secret. He would have to… Emma was going to be so mad at him. “You want to talk to me or the Inquisitor right now?” 

Blac-Thom, gods that was going to be a difficult shift, shifted again in his saddle. “Whoever you believe would have the best judgement.” His face was resigned as if he had already prepared himself for the worst possible outcome.

“Right. Better judgment. Okay. Damon says, ‘holy shit I hate being right. You’re obviously not a psychopath so that’s great’. Inquisitor…” Damon sat up straight and studied Bl- Rainier. “Inquisitor wants to know how this coming out could affect the Inquisition and how to best deal with it. I think we should talk with Leliana and Emma to see how to best handle this.” 

Rainier nodded sharply. “Very well, I'll surrender my sword to the Commander immediately.”

Damon gave him a flat look. “That’s not what I said. We’re gonna go talk, figure out the best way to move forward before we do anything.” Damon took in Bl-Rainer’s shocked expression before tilting his head toward the sky and allowing himself a soft sigh. Oh, Emma. This was going to be messy. Why hadn’t she told him? He could have already put plans into place. But now… now she was going to be upset because of what he was going to have to do to her friend. What would she think? What would they all think of him?

“C’mon.” Damon twitched his knees to direct MoFo to the back of the group where Leliana rode with her birds and signed for Emma to join him, alone. Maybe Leliana would have some ideas on how to handle this. 

Rainier hesitated but followed, pressing his fist to his heart in salute when Emma fell in beside them. She worried her lip and her eyes darted between him and Thom. He was Inquisitor right now though, so he didn’t flash her a reassuring smile or anything. He just kept his spine straight and kept his breathing even as he rode towards Leliana. Inhale, one two three, Exhale, one two three. The spymaster pulled her horse back so that by the time they reached her they were a respectable distance away from the group, as much privacy as you could expect on the road. 

“Inquisitor. Herald. Ser Blackwall. What is it?” Leliana glanced between the three with a calculating expression.

“His name is Thom Rainier, he’s not actually a warden, and he’s apparently wanted for murder.” Damon said flatly, ignoring Bl- Rainier’s flinch and Emma’s wince in order to keep his breathing even. Saying it out loud like that made his throat hurt. 

Leliana blinked, but seemed to accept it in stride. “Lady Emma? You have… insight about this?”

“He’s been trying to make up for his past by doing good.” Emma fiddled with Caramel’s reins. “This… isn’t how he’s usually discovered? Um. In what… I’ve ‘seen’ he keeps his secret until he finds out someone is going to be hung in his stead. He reveals himself to save them.”

Damon ran a hand over his face. Trying to make up for past wrongs was good and all but right now he had to think like the Inquisitor and that meant… “Causing all sorts of problems for the Inquisition when it’s revealed a murderer had managed to infiltrate the Inner Circle of the Herald and Inquisitor.”

Thom and Emma opened their mouths but Damon held up a hand to cut them off. He studied Leliana, who was eyeing him intently, trying to see any indication of another way. 

“I’m assuming you two are going to want to save the guy?” He kept watching Leliana as he asked the question. 

“Yes. He’ll-” Emma started to explain but fell silent when he glanced sharply at her.

Thom nodded. “I do not want another to die for my crimes.”

“So in order to clear him in an above board manner, Thom Rainier would have to be public knowledge?” Damon caught Leliana’s subtle nod. “If he is out like that- in order for-”

Leliana shrugged a single shoulder, indicating that he was right, and Damon let out a sharp breath. “I have to formally judge him.” 

“I will accept whatever judgement, Inquisitor.” Rainier was sitting stiffly in his saddle, reins wrapped tightly around his fingers. Despite his pale face, he looked determined. 

“I know.” Damon felt the pit of unease in his stomach knot tighter. Another life in his hands, a friend this time. This was too much power. Too much responsibility. He inhaled and kept his face impassive to hide the underlying panic. “Unfortunately, as you have been discovered to be a criminal, you can no longer walk free. You will surrender your sword and armor to Commander Cullen and will then report to Ambassador Josephine and Spymaster Leliana to confess the details of your-” His ‘official’ voice failed him and he inhaled shakily as he forced himself to look Rainier in the eyes. “Crimes.”

Emma gasped softly but he held up a hand to keep her from talking. He would cry if she said anything right now and he… he had to be Inquisitor. 

Thom nodded curtly. “As you wish, Inquisitor.”  

“Emma. If there’s anything else this big in the Inquisition, I need to know.” Damon glanced at her and forced a half smile for her. “Not mad, just frustrated.”

Emma looked down at her saddle horn sheepishly. “I…  I'm sorry… it …. I wasn't my secret to tell.” 

Damon let his face soften just a bit for her. “Em, I get it. You care for everyone here, but we have to think of more than just us. His ‘secret’ could have severely damaged the Inquisition, could still if not dealt with properly. We have thousands of people depending on the Inquisition and we can’t risk failing them.” 

“I believe you are right, Inquisitor.” Leliana eyed Rainier sharply. “This is a volatile revelation and I believe your plan of action is the best way to prevent Josephine from having to call in favors to preserve our alliances.”

Well. That decided it. He looked back at Rainier. “Come with me. We’ll go speak to the Commander.” 

“Yes, ser.” Rainier glanced at Emma and bowed his head slightly before he nudged his horse to follow Damon. “Thank you.”

As they rode towards Cullen, the commander looked over them with a furrowed brow and straightened in his saddle. “Inquisitor?”

“Commander, this man is to be arrested for murder and transported back to Skyhold for trial.” 

Cullen startled and looked at Thom in confusion. “Blackwall? But-”

Damon kept his face neutral. “Is actually Thom Rainier. The real Warden Blackwall is dead.”

“I didn’t kill him. I just took his name.” Rainier said quietly.

Cullen paled but set his jaw. “Maker’s breath…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Thom Rainier who led the raid on the Callier family? That Rainier?”

Thom shut his eyes tightly as if he were in pain and gave Cullen a quick jerk of his chin in affirmation. “The same, Commander.”

Cullen's jaw worked as he studied the man. “She knew…” Cullen paused. “The Herald…”

Damon let himself run a hand over his face. “Since before she had me recruit him.” 

Cullen gave a bone weary sigh and straightened his shoulders. “What would you have me do, Inquisitor?”

“Treat him as any other higher ranking prisoner.” Like it or not, Rainier’s position in his ‘inner circle’ made him someone of note so he had to find the fine balance between treating him properly without making it seem like favoritism. 

Cullen gave a sharp dip of his chin and turned to regard Rainier. “On the journey to Skyhold you are to stay with the group and if you must take a moment away, you are to have a soldier accompany you. Once at Skyhold you will be contained until a formal judgement can be passed.”

Damon watched grimly as Bl-Rainier dismounted and formally surrendered his sword to Cullen, then began the lengthy process of stripping out of his armor. The caravan came to a halt, many eyes watching curiously as Rainier removed piece after piece of his false identity and surrendered them to a confused soldier. At the end of it, he looked vulnerable and small in a way that made Damon’s stomach hurt. But… it was necessary. 

Varric rode up slowly as a soldier led Rainier’s horse away. “Hey… Blot? What’s going on?” 

Damon stiffly turned his head to see his friends gathering close with uncertain expressions. He opened his mouth to answer, but words failed him. This… this hurt to be honest. 

Emma was the one who answered them, her voice quiet. “Blackwall’s real name is Thom Rainier. He has surrendered himself to the Inquisition for judgement.” She looked down quickly as she tried to hide the tears that threatened to spill. “I hoped-” she didn't finish, only pulled Caramel’s reins and dug her heels into the horse’s side to urge it forward. 

Damon watched her go, this hurt her, he knew but what else could he do? Would she forgive him?

Everyone else was silent, he guessed Bl-Rainier’s crimes were well known enough that no one needed clarification as to what he was charged with.

Cassandra’s face flushed with anger and she glared at the stoic Rainier. “You-” 

Damon felt himself tense as she lifted herself up in her saddle, but then she deflated and looked at Emma’s retreating back. “She knew. The whole time.” She shook her head. “I… I must go.” She wheeled Prince and followed after Emma. Damon knew that Cass probably would never forgive Rainier, but he hoped that Emma and Cass’ newborn friendship wouldn’t be damaged by… this. He wanted to follow after them but Bull jerked his chin at Rainier.

“You got that potential political shitstorm tied up?”

“Yeah.” Damon ran a hand over his face. “Getting that handled. Speaking of-” He forced himself to look at Rainier. “You need to report to the Ambassador and Spymaster.”

At the mention of Josephine, Thom paled even more and a different kind of pain shone in his eyes. “As you say, Inquisitor.”

 


	56. Chapter 56

Emma felt sick. Physically. Emotionally sick . Nobody spoke, it seemed the revelations of the day made everyone contemplative or just not in the mood for the banter they usually engaged in to pass the time. She understood, she did. Damon really didn't have much a choice… but seeing Thom... She shut her eyes tightly against the tears that threatened. She had hoped all of it could be avoided but no, Thom was shamed in the face of his friends and she could do nothing. He would now be looked upon with suspicion from now on, all because she failed him.

“‘Trusted inner circle’ I believe were your words.” Loghain's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she turned her head to find him riding at her side and glower of annoyance on his face.

“He wouldn't have harmed me.” Emma didn't want to have this conversation. She wasn't ready for this conversation.

“Just like he wouldn't ‘harm’ the Lady Callier and her children?” Loghain pressed, obviously annoyed.

Emma ground her teeth to keep from snapping and had to take a few calming breaths before looking at the man who, until recently, she had despised. Yet here she was riding alongside the exact same man. “We are too often remembered for what we got wrong, Loghain. And everything we did right is forgotten.”

His jaw clenched. “I never killed a child, Herald.”

She sighed. “A doll was laying on the floor next to a pool of blood. I’ve seen the alienage in Denerim. I know what happened there.” 

He paled and a vaguely nauseous expression filtered through his scowl. He opened his mouth to reply, but Damon rode up and gently nudged her arm. “Hey… Let him be. He’s just worried about you.”

“But-”

“Sometimes when we look back at the ‘could have beens’, some of us see what didn’t happen and what it means, and some of us see what could have happened and get scared.” Damon gave Loghain a one shouldered shrug. 

Emma closed her eyes and nodded, “Yeah, sorry… I'm just…” she lifted a shoulder not really trusting herself to speak. 

“Yeah I know.” Damon reached over and hesitantly pressed her hand before giving her a small and kind of nervous smile and riding on to speak with Cassandra. Now that he wasn’t dealing with Cullen and Thom he seemed so uncertain. 

Loghain sighed irritably and followed after him. “I will not be leaving you alone next time, Lady Herald.”

She grimaced at his back, but didn’t feel up to calling out a retort. She didn’t need to be babysat. Speaking of, she side eyed Zevran, who was nonchalantly easing his horse towards her. Probably with a question from Leliana. “No.” 

He pulled an offended expression. “Why, Stella, you didn’t know-”

“If she wants questions answered, tell her to ask them herself.” 

He hummed with a slight smile. “Not quite as oblivious then. But it is not a question, rather a message. She would ask that you remember that although he thinks further than you, he still cares.” 

She frowned as she turned that over. “I’m not angry at Damon. I know… I know he’s doing what he thinks he has to. I’m just… upset.”

“Perhaps you should let him know then, Stella.” He tipped his head at her and rode off. 

It felt like forever before Damon and Cullen called a halt for the day and they set up camp. Cole appeared briefly to press a partially carved wooden wolf into her hands as she brushed down Caramel. “He is scared, searching, seeking, secrets bared to sunlight, searing with solace. Keep it safe for him.”

With that he poofed away, leaving her to tuck the unfinished carving into her pack and try to figure out who it belonged to. She tried to help set up camp, but there were so many people that she felt like she was just in the way and she ended up just hovering at the fringes, watching the activity and catching herself wondering where Thom was now that he wasn’t with them.

Cassandra was avoiding her. Again. Everyone but Solas and Damon seemed to be chewing on their tongue. Damon was throwing uncertain and lost looks between her and Cass but was just stirring the potatoes quietly. She had seen him talking to her earlier and Cass wasn’t glaring at her, but still seemed a bit… stiff. She hesitated, unsure if Cassandra would let her near, but went over to sit by Damon anyway. 

“Hey… We’re good? Right?” She touched his wrist gently.

His shoulders relaxed abruptly and he leaned over to press his arm against hers. “I’m sorry. I wish… I wish I could just fix it, but-”

“I know. I’m… upset but I’m not mad at you.” She rested her head on his shoulder as he cooked. “I wish… I don’t know. I wish you could have figured out something without… exposing him.”

Damon’s jaw tightened and his stirring paused. “Sometimes… it’s better for a secret to come out than to let a guy fester with it.”

“You don’t know that.” Emma snapped. Then immediately realized that was the wrong thing to say. “No, I’m sorry.” 

“I was dying, Em.” He whispered. 

She sat up in shock. “What?”

“Back on earth.” He was focused on the potatoes intently as his voice cracked. “I… I- My heart. Any day.”

She didn’t want to believe it, but if he really had… if he had… “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Wanted to enjoy the time we had left without ruining your future.” He shrugged and still didn’t look at her. “Didn’t want you to… be disgusted with me.”

“But…” she stared at him, wide eyed. “I could never… Damon, I’m not and never was disgusted or disappointed in you. I could never be.”

He shuddered and closed his eyes. “I... “ He huffed. “I’ve got a lot of… shit I haven’t told you. Fucked me up bad. But never doubt I love you, Em.” 

She smiled and wrapped her arm as far around him as she could manage. “There’s never been a doubt in my mind. I love you too.”

“They say the two of you are not lovers, but I find it hard to believe.” Loghain grunted as he sat opposite the fire.

Emma chuckled but made a gagging noise. “Please, he’s my brother.”

Loghain’s eyes flicked between the two of them. “Your mother was very brave.” He said dryly. 

Damon abruptly burst into giggles and turned to press his face into her hair. “Oh my gods… Ma would kick your ass and laugh the whole time if she heard you say that.” 

Loghain smirked, actually smirked, at that. 

“Alright, if you two are done feeding rumors, how about a story, Princess?” Varric laughed and poked the fire with a stick.

Damon handed Emma the spatula and grabbed Varric in a hug that lifted his feet off of the ground. “Not done feeding the rumors yet.” He pressed a loud fake kiss to the top of Varric’s head and then grunted when Varric kicked him in the knee. 

“Put me down you overgrown ink stain!” Varric growled without any venom.

Damon let him go and bent to rub his knee. “Damn, shortstack, you got some oomph there.” 

“Just be grateful it wasn’t Bianca.” Varric huffed while straightening his duster.

“Bianca is a gorgeous lady and I would never do anything to upset her and she knows it.” Damon sniffed and bowed to the crossbow. 

Cassandra seemed to be drawn in by the banter and left off staring at Emma long enough to tease Damon. “Do I have cause to be jealous?”

Damon smiled softly. “Though I am surrounded by the most beautiful of beings, you outshine them all, m’lady.” 

“Flattery, Boss?” Bull laughed.

“Honesty. A lie I cannot speak, the lady’s eyes make my heart twicely beat.” Damon took the few steps to Cass and kissed her flushed cheek before taking her hand and leading her to the fire.

Emma smiled at her nervously when Damon sat beside her and pulled Cass down on his other side.

“See, that, that right there, that’s what makes things so confusing.” Hawke said from where she was perched on Krem’s back as he pretended he wasn’t preening under her attention. “And any second the hipster will show up and join the cuddle pile, leaving the rest of us to figure out logistics.” 

“I see nothing wrong with ‘cuddling’, Champion.” Solas said seriously as he made his way from their tent to sit between Damon and Emma and pull her into his lap. As he spoke he let his arm brush Damon’s. “And I'm sure Cassandra would agree that Emma and Damon are quite fond of it.”

Damon made a choking noise before bursting into cackling laughter, and Hawke waved her hand in a ‘there you go’ manner. 

Emma laughed and shook her head at their teasing. She knew she was more affectionate than most people were used to but they’d just have to live with it.

“So it’s true you all share quarters?” Zevran wiggled his eyebrows as he sauntered over and sprawled across all of their laps . 

Emma felt a spike of irritation from Solas but his face remained bland as the Crow laid his head on her legs and grinned up at her. Cassandra made a disgusted noise and looked like she wanted to shove him off of her, but Damon simply shrugged and poked the elf in the ribs. “Define ‘share’, Honey?” 

Leliana stalked into the circle and quirked an eyebrow. “Let’s not.” Her eyes roamed over the five of them before she smiled in a way that made the hairs on the back of Emma’s neck prickle and she sauntered over to them and gracefully collapsed next to Emma close enough that she could feel a dagger up the woman’s sleeve. Zevran wiggled up a bit so his head was on her lap and Cassandra could shove his feet off of her legs. 

Damon’s expression was beyond delighted as he asked Varric to move the potatoes off the fire as he was ‘currently occupied’. Josephine ambled up with a furrow between her brows and her eyes on a piece of parchment. 

“Leliana, have you-” She looked up and her words died off, her mouth a perfect ‘o’ as she looked over the six of them squeezed together.

“Josie! Come join the ‘cuddle pile’. It is quite pleasant.” Leliana had a quirk to her mouth as she braided a section of Zevran’s hair.

“You are deliberately-” Josephine raised a finger as if she was about to scold them before sighing. “Very well.” She folded the paper and tucked it into her pocket before coming over and perching behind Cass and beginning to undo her french braid crown. 

This… was a fangirl’s dream come true. Emma turned a pleading grin towards a frozen Dorian and grinning Bull. Bull shrugged. “Yeah, why not.” He grabbed Dorian by the collar and dragged them over, situating them so their backs were pressed against Solas and her. 

Dorian sputtered but Damon just leaned his head back so his horns lightly bumped the mage’s head. “Shush and start braiding.”

Dorian made an exasperated noise in his throat but turned so he could start finger combing Emma’s hair out of her braid. Varric shrugged and glanced at Hawke. “Why not?”

Krem was absolutely beaming as he sat behind Leliana with Hawke on his lap and Varric in front of them so Hawke could braid his hair. Emma grinned at Loghain, who looked like he was watching Andraste herself moon him. “Wanna join the braid train?”

He blinked and shook his head. “Uh, no. Thank you?” 

“Suit yourself, Scruffy!” Sera crowed and wormed her way into the pile so she was laying across Bull and Dorian’s legs. She kicked Damon in the back, but it was more a love tap than actual anger. “You better not waste not-Blackwall.” 

“I won’t.” Damon smiled weakly and leaned into Cass. He looked up and bared his teeth in a grin. “Cullen!”

“Maker’s breath… I-” Cullen’s face was beet red and his hand went to the back of his neck. “I was just- I-”

“Come join us, Commander.” Leliana purred.

Emma squeaked. This was almost everyone! If only Morrigan, Thom, Nathaniel, and Alistair, and… everyone were here… “Please?”

Cullen took half a step backwards with his hands raised as if to ward them off, but Cole appeared by his side and began whispering into his ear urgently. The commander recoiled and frowned. “What-”

Cole murmured something else and moved to sit by Leliana and handed her a strand of grass to braid into Zevran’s hair. Where did he get grass in a desert?

Cullen sighed. “Truly?”

Cole nodded. “Desperately.” 

Damon rolled his eyes as he handed something back to Josephine that made her make a slight squeaking noise. “C’mon. I ain’t gettin’ my hair braided and I’m feeling left out.” 

“The Commander makes exquisite braids.” Cassandra smirked and reached over to squeeze Damon’s forearm. Emma caught a glimpse of Josephine braiding some dried flowers into her hair. “Besides, I believe the Inquisitor has had a trying few days and should have his hair braided if he wishes.”

Cullen sighed in defeat and slowly inched towards them, awkwardly wedging in beside Bull so he could reach Damon’s hair. “This is very… unprofessional…” 

“It’s good for you.” Damon’s eyes were half closed. “Physical contact encourages your brain to release anti stress hormones that lower your blood pressure and ease pain.”

Cullen frowned. “That doesn’t sound-”

“It’s true.” Emma hummed and intertwined her fingers with Solas’. She didn’t know if it was the fact that she was a massive fangirl or if it was because they all really were becoming fast friends, but she felt an almost aura like sense of peace. “People need people.”

“Feel free to join in, Loghain.” Damon’s eyes were closed but she could see how relaxed he was, how much better he felt now than he had before. He almost glowed with contentment. She was glad Loghain had teased them about being affectionate and triggered the impromptu cuddle pile. 

“I… Andraste’s tits.” Loghain ran a hand over his face and laughed quietly. “You do realize that everyone from the Wilds to Tevinter will have heard of this in a matter of days?”

Damon snorted. “They’re already whispering it. But, now that we’re all here, how about that story, Em?”

Emma sighed and leaned back into Dorian’s fingers. He had stopped braiding and was instead giving some sort of scalp massage that made her want to dissolve into a puddle and sleep. “Fine. But it’s gonna be Les Miserables.”

“Really?” 

She could almost feel Damon’s flat amusement. She knew he would get the point almost instantly. “I like it.”

He sighed and rolled his hand in a gesture to carry on. She thought she heard him murmur to Cullen that he could stop if his hands started hurting before she launched into a much abbreviated version of Les Miserables. 

Loghain seemed drawn in despite himself and she flashed him a smile when he grumbled about ‘ridiculous people’ as he served up the potatoes Damon had cooked to everyone in the cuddle pile and then sat a little closer so he could hear better while they ate. Emma managed to eat about half of her serving before her stomach flipped and she set it aside, sipping on the cider in Solas’ flask instead as she told the story of Jean ValJean. 

She laid her head on Solas’ shoulder as she talked, Dorian’s hands still on her shoulders and Zevran warm and heavy across her legs. Damon was leaning against Cassandra with his eyes closed as Cullen intently braided his hair into tiny, intricately looping braids with a focused but relaxed expression. 

She must have trailed off in the middle of a sentence or something because Varric spoke up gently. “I think the Princess needs to go back to her tent, Chuckles.”

“Noooo.” She frowned and realized her eyes were closed. “I don’ wanna move. This ‘s nice. I gots ‘most ev’ryone here. Wait’d so long...”

“You need help moving her?” Krem asked.

Cassandra spoke quietly. “The Inquisitor is asleep. I do not think we should disturb them. Neither of them have rested well since the Fade.” 

“You said he was doing better?” Cullen murmured. 

“He is- was. Things he had… put aside in his mind- No. He is not resting well since the Fade, but he is asleep now and I will not disturb him.” Cassandra somehow managed to sound stubborn despite whispering 

Emma hummed, feeling sleep pulling her under. “Don’ draw on m’ face, kay?”

A kiss was pressed to the top of her head. “I will watch over you.” Solas.

“So man’ eyes.” She yawned. “All watchin’ me.”

“Her accent changed.” Hawke said softly.

“She suppresses her childhood accent.” Leliana murmured. “They still have many secrets.” 

“Gonna protec’ y’all. Don’ wan’ nothin’ bad to happ’n to y’all.” She sighed and nuzzled further into Solas’ shoulder. “Mine.”

  
  
  


Damon woke up to the sound of a scout stuttering. “Ser- I- The Inquisitor?”

“He’s asleep.” Cassandra growled quietly. 

“No, I ain’t.” Damon sat up and rubbed his eyes, glancing around in confusion. He was still by the fire, on the ground in fact. He’d been using Cassandra’s legs as a pillow again, but apparently Solas was using his legs as a pillow and Emma was using Solas as a mattress. Someone had draped blankets across them all and Cassandra’s hair was braided into a crown of dried flowers, but mussed like she had been sleeping on it. “Did we all honestly fall asleep out here?” 

Solas hummed and reached up to smooth a hand down Emma’s back, his eyes still closed. “She was quite adamant we not leave you and you are a bit too heavy to move without waking.” 

Damon gave Cassandra an apologetic glance. “Sorry.” He really did feel rested though. And… loved. 

She squeezed his shoulder and jerked her chin at the beet red scout. The scout fidgeted nervously. “Pardon me, Ser, but… The- Commander Cullen wishes to know if we still plan on stopping by the Keep.”

Cassandra arched a brow. “The Commander told you to wake the Inquisitor?”

“No, ser! He-” The scout paled and fidgeted again.

Damon chuckled and shook his head. His hair scattered across his shoulders in what felt like a hundred tiny braids. “Stop scaring the noobs, Cass. That’s my job.” He looked over at Emma thoughtfully, a faint thought bouncing in the back of his mind, and then back at the scout. “Tell him we should head straight back to Skyhold.” 

“Yes, ser!” The scout saluted and scurried off. 

Cassandra sighed. “You almost slept past sunrise.”

Damon smiled fondly at her. “You’re too good for me.” He tried to slip his legs out from under Solas without jostling him too much. 

Solas mouth quirked into a smile but he didn’t help or open his eyes. Instead, he made sure Emma wasn't disturbed as Damon pulled his legs away. “I believe you would have enjoyed the commander’s expression when you growled at him when he tried to stop braiding your hair.”

Damon chuckled. “Oh, shit. I’ll have to apologize to him later.”

“Your hair does look nice.” Cassandra said as she stood up and stretched out her legs. They were probably numb from him laying on them all night. 

He reached back to touch the tiny braids but she caught his hand. “Don’t muss them. I’ll find you a looking glass.” 

He smiled and kissed her, enjoying how she still blushed. “Thank you, Kadan. I’m gonna go speak to Cullen, but I’ll eat with you if you’ll allow it.”

Her eyes softened and she pressed a hand to his cheek. “I insist.”

“As you wish.” He kissed her again and left with a slight spring in his step. He felt rested and content and he may have startled a few people when he grinned at them as he passed by with a chipper ‘good morning’. 

He hesitated when he passed by a grim and slightly forlorn looking Thom sitting by a supply cart with a scowling guard nearby. He weighed the appearance of favoritism against speaking to a friend for a moment before walking over. “Morning, Thom.” 

Rainier winced but nodded. “Good morning, Inquisitor.”

“Emma’s telling one of her stories again.” 

Thom’s face fell. “I’ll be sad to miss it.” 

“She’s moralizing to me.” At Rainier’s curious look, Damon shrugged. “She’s doing her best to make sure you get a second chance.”

Rainier shook his head. “I’m a monster, Inquisitor. I’ve used up my second chance in a lie.”

Damon hummed noncommittally. “Way I see it, you used your second chance to help people. Or was that a different man I saw using Grey Warden loopholes to help villagers?”

Thom looked away. “I accept my fate. It is right.”

“Which is more useful to a village under attack by demons: a murderer’s corpse, or the same murderer trying to make up for past wrongs by trying to help them?”

Rainier shook his head again but Damon just held up his hand. “Just think about it. And don’t get sharp with Em when she gets the chance to see you. She’s upset about this and I don’t want you lashin’ out and hurting her. She cares about you. Be worth it”

Thom frowned thoughtfully. “I… will think on it.” 

Damon nodded and walked off towards a snarl of activity. He’d bet that was where he could find Cullen, and sure enough, the Commander was there, barking out orders and trying to get everyone into a semblance of order. The second Damon caught his eye, he blushed scarlet and rubbed the back of his neck. Damon raised an eyebrow as he approached. 

“Morning, Commander.”

Cullen muttered something under his breath before bellowing at the gawking scouts and soldiers to scatter. They obeyed but Damon caught a few smirks. “Everythin’ all right?”

Cullen ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know why I let you talk me into that… unfortunate display last night. Someone approached me and  _ apologized _ for allowing so many marriage proposals through to me as they didn’t realize I was ‘entangled’. They stressed that word.”

Damon snorted in amusement. “How’d you sleep last night?”

“Well. Better than-” He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Normal.”

“Cuddle piles, man. They’re great.” Damon leaned against a wagon casually. Dude was freaking out. 

“You…” Cullen sighed and looked at the sky before shaking his head. “Let us change the subject? My runner said that you didn’t want to go by the Keep?”

“Nah. We were just stopping by to pick up… Rainier and we have him now. I think we need to get back to Skyhold as quickly as possible without making the journey too strenuous.” 

Cullen straightened and concern washed out the embarrassment. “Is something wrong? Has Lady Emma Seen something?”

Damon shook his head. “No. I just… gonna sound silly, but I have a feeling that we need to get Emma back to Skyhold as quickly as we can without stressing her out.”

Concern marred Cullen's features as he asked in a low voice so as not to draw attention. “Is she all right?” 

“Yeah, far as I can tell. Like I said, it’s just a feeling.” Damon shrugged with a wince. 

Cullen frowned but nodded. “All right. I will make sure we get there in a timely manner.”

“Thanks, man. Let me know if you need me for anything.” Damon clapped him on the shoulder and grinned when his neck turned red again. 

He made his way back towards the fire to see about rustling up some breakfast for their group. Army rations weren't the most appetizing and it was only made worse by cooks who really had no business cooking. He knew for certain there was a sack of flour and a small pouch of sugar that was begging to be made into pancakes. He’d have to make sure a plate was delivered to Cullen.

He returned to find Cass sitting next to a freshly stoked fire with a soft smile on her face as she watched Emma and Solas. Emma was now clearly awake but seemed reluctant to get off of Solas who was propped up on his elbows and wore a long suffering expression as Emma played with his jaw bone necklace, her eyes still closed.

“EmTi, let Solas up.” Damon laughed as he sat down and pressed another kiss to Cass’s forehead before digging through their food stuffs. Emma grumbled incoherently and reluctantly shifted so Solas could sit up but remanded firmly in his lap, head leaned back against his shoulder.

Cole suddenly appeared at his side, holding out a jar and a long black bean pod that looked suspiciously like vanilla. Before he could ask where he’d gotten it, Cole spoke up with a smile. “Not taken, given freely. The beans make her hair smell good. She was happy to give one."

Damon grinned approvingly as he took them. “Good deal.”

Cole tilted his head as if thinking. “You like to cook for them. It means you care. Food is love.”

Damon paused, a sweet kind of pain in his chest at his mother’s words. He shook his head when Cole looked concerned. “It’s a good hurt, don’ worry. But yeah. Food is love.”

“Hurts that heal.” Cole nodded in understanding. “You deserve food too.” He said quietly before moving to sit next to Emma and Solas and uncharacteristically laying his head on Emma's lap, who only hesitated for a second before she began finger combing his pale hair.

Damon stared at the jar of honey in his hand with a slightly lost feeling before laughing quietly. “All right kid. You’re getting sneakier. I approve. I’ll… try to remember that.” He directed the thought at Cole, knowing he would get it.

Slowly their companions made their appearances. Dorian and Bull were the first two to join them at her fire, Dorian shifting uncertainly as he sat on the other side of the fire, but Bull took in the sight of Emma, Solas, and Cole and chuckled as he sat down next to the mage. “You didn’t get enough of that last night, lil’bit?” 

Damon grinned and opened his mouth to say something, but Cole growled out an exact match of his accent. “Ain’t never ‘nuff lovin’, big guy.” 

Emma startled slightly before looking at Damon with a raised brow. “I’m not sure if your influence is good or bad 

“Good. Can’t be anythin’ else.” Damon smiled fondly at them before pointing his mixing spoon at Bull. “Don’ touch the batter.” 

“Kid, stay out of his head.” Varric grumbled as he plopped down next to the fire, blinking blearily.

“But he’s fine with me there as long as I don’t say the private stuff out loud.” 

Made him feel a little less alone in his own skull. Damon frowned when the pancake he tried to flip crumbled. 

Cole opened his mouth, then stopped. “Like that.”

Damon smiled fondly at the spirit for figuring out on his own what he wouldn’t want said aloud. “Good job, kid.”

“It’s getting easier.” Cole said quietly before sitting up and looking at Solas. “Cider?” Solas nodded and the spirit was gone before anyone could blink.

Damon shoved the first ruined pancake into his mouth and gently flipped the next one just as Dorian cleared his throat. “About last night-”

“Sparkler,” Varric groaned running a hand over his face. “We don't talk about last night. Ever.”

Damon looked up with a frow n. “Something happen last night after I fell out?”

Hawke yawned as she stomped over to the fire, a smug but sleepy Krem a bare step behind her. “I think they’re having morning after regrets about joining the cuddle pile.” 

“Oh.” Damon felt a strange sense of disappointment that they regretted it. 

Cole sat up and actually glared at Varric. Glared. What? Varric blinked and raised both hands. “I’m not saying we’re upset, I’m saying it was… unusual.”

Sera blew a raspberry and managed to steal a pancake from the pan before he could smack her hand away. “Speak for yourself. I liked it.” She tossed the pancake from hand to hand to try and avoid the heat. “We should have them every night.”

Cole perked up. “I’d like that!”

“I’m afraid that most of us hold our dignity too dearly to ‘pile’ every night.” Leliana hummed as she subtly herded Josephine to the fire with Zevran trailing behind her like a puppy. “At Skyhold, however, I believe I could be persuaded occasionally. Provided that Lady Emma continues to tell her stories.”

“I-” Emma blinked and sat up straight. She glanced at Damon and her face softened. “Yeah. I think I have enough stories for us at Skyhold.” 

Damon smiled wistfully at the pan. That… would be pretty awesome if they could do that again. He hadn’t felt so safe in a long time. 

“No… don’t do the face, Blot. Please don’t do the face.” Varric groaned, a hint of playfulness in his tone. 

Damon blinked up at him. “What face?”

“The one that says that you really want something but you don’t feel like you can ask for it.” Bull spoke up.

“Yes. And then it settles into something that says you feel like you won’t get it but you don’t want to bother anybody or make them feel bad.” Leliana finished as she settled gracefully by the fire. Zevran moved to sit by Solas and Emma, but Solas gave him a sharp glare and he wheeled about and sat by Dorian instead. 

Damon served up a plate and handed it to Josephine with a frown. “Do I really have a face?”

She smiled, a bit petulantly. “Yes, only around those you consider friends. I must admit, I find myself envious that you were not aware of it. I had to practice in front of a mirror for weeks before I managed to perfect mine.” 

Emma accepted her plate with a smirk. “If you think his puppydog face is good, wait till you see his Expression of Immovability.” 

“Expression of Immovability?” Hawke said around a mouthful of stolen pancake. 

Damon pointed his spatula threateningly at her and she raised her hands and leaned away from the plate he was putting together for Cullen. Emma nodded eagerly. “Yeah. When someone wants him to say or do something he really doesn’t want to, he just gets this… I don’t know, stone faced expression and he’ll stare at you without blinking or moving until you give up. It’s super creepy.” 

Damon smirked as he felt several pairs of eyes land on him consideringly and flipped the last pancake out of the pan. “All right. Foods ready.” He flagged down a nearby scout. “Hey, take this to the Commander?”

The scout took the plate with a badly stifled smirk. “Yes, ser.” But saluted and headed off for where Damon had left Cullen. 

A soft chuckle sounded and Damon turned to find Loghain walking in their direction. “I did warn you.” He looked at the platter of pancakes but hung back from the playful scramble to grab some. “I am fairly certain I heard a pair of soldiers trying to figure out how to fit all of your names into a song.” 

Damon laughed and snagged a few pancakes onto a plate for the guy. “Lemme know if they manage it. I wanna hear it.” 

Camp was packed less than an hour after everyone had eaten. He had to hand it to Cullen, he worked miracles getting the army to move so efficiently despite its numbers. Their first day of travel was uneventful, save for an incident with some people’s armor being filled with gurn dung that he strongly suspected Sera was behind. 

The next night at the campfire was filled with light teasing and jokes. The advisers even came back, Josie commenting that it was the only way they were guaranteed consumable food. Varric seemed determined to get another song out of Emma, who groaned every time it was hinted at. It ended in a slightly smaller pile consisting of him, Cass, Emma, Solas, Cole, Zevran, and Sera. This time however the only one to fall asleep had been Emma, who Solas promptly carried to their tent.  

This went on for the first several days of travel as the desert began fading into grasslands and Damon was grateful not to have to worry over watches or handling any grunt work. Well, he’d tried to worry about it, but either Cullen had handled it first or the people he’d try to help would give him such incredulous expressions that he’d end up slinking back to Cass. 

He was riding alongside her, listening to her complain about Swords and Shields not being continued, when Cullen rode up with a grim expression. “Inquisitor,” 

Oh boy, here we go. Damon squared his shoulders at the title. “Commander?”

“The scouts have found signs of red templars in the area ahead.” Cullen shifted in the saddle slightly. “I'm about to lead a squad to ensure the path ahead is clear.”

Damon sucked in a sharp breath through his teeth and glanced back at Emma, who was watching them with a concerned expression. He couldn’t let her near red templars right now. “I will go with you. Cass, would you keep an eye on Emma till we get back?” Before she could answer him Emma spoke up from her place behind them.

“I'm fine, Damon.” She rolled her eyes and made to unstrap her bow. “I’ll hang back in support.”

“Uh uh. You’ve been falling asleep randomly, feeling nauseous, and you haven’t lit up since the fade. You’re staying with the group.” Oh. Oh shit. Damon felt the blood drain from his face as realization hit him. “Em, I’ll be right back, I promise I’m not trying to leave you behind, but please. Please stay with the main group.” 

Emma frowned but his pleading expression must have won her over because she grumbled something about ‘overprotective brothers’ as she put her bow away. Cassandra gave him an understanding nod, seeming to realize right away that he trusted her not to let Emma hare off after him, and guided Prince to Emma’s side. 

“Thank you. I’ll be back with s ouvenirs before you know it, Em.” He turned back to Cullen and unhook his axe from the side of his saddle. “Ready when you are, Commander.” 

Cullen bowed his head at Emma before raising his arm in signal for a closely clustered group of soldiers to join them as they rode out ahead of the main group. It didn’t take long for Damon to feel a faint sense of unease that he associated with red lyrium being nearby. He gripped his ax in readiness and kept his head on a swivel as a scout darted towards them. 

“Sers, I… I found the red templars. But they’re dead.” 

Damon frowned and swung off of MoFo. That could either be really good or really bad. “Show me.”

He followed the scout into some underbrush, Cullen close behind. He came up short when he found the red templars just as the scout had said. They were laid out on the ground in bloody shreds, but around them were the remains of a pack of wolves. The wolves had fought them dearly. A wheezing breath caught his attention and he followed the sound to find a struggling she wolf, slowly dragging herself away from the templar that she had killed. She was wounded badly and Damon crouched a few feet away, wishing he had brought Solas with them so he could try to heal her. Cole appeared by his side.

“She’s desperate to return. But she’s tainted. Dying.”

Damon felt tears coming up and wiped at his face. He stood and started to heft up his ax, but Cole put a hand on his arm. “No. I’ll do it. It won’t hurt me to.”

Damon allowed himself to look away as Cole put the she wolf out of her suffering. All of these wolves, destroyed while trying to protect their family from evil. It was tragic.

Cullen approached. “There are no tracks leading away. The wolves and templars seemed to have wiped each other out.” He looked at Cole, who was gently petting the she wolf’s corpse. “Well. Mostly. That one looks like she’d just started weaning.” 

Damon felt a sudden buzz of hope and terror fly down his spine. Maybe they weren’t all destroyed. He turned to Cole pleadingly. “Can you find them? Small and thinking of milk scent and mother warmth, waiting for their meat.”

Cole tilted his head back and forth before standing and wheeling in a slow circle. He pointed in a direction and began walking. Damon followed closely, keeping an eye out for danger as he followed the spirit. Cole stopped and crouched by a hollow in the earth. “Here. They’re hungry.”

Damon knelt by the hollow and wishes, hoped, even prayed to any nearby gods that the pups would come out to him. He dug in his pockets and found some dried meat that Leliana had given him that morning. He held it out in the flat of his hand to the opening of the hollow as he spoke soothingly. “I’m sorry pups, but your mother died. I was too late to save her, but she died trying to protect you. She’s gone now, but if you’ll allow me, I’ll take care of you from now on. I have food and shelter. I know you won’t want to trust me, but I just want to save you. I’ll take care of you, I promise.”

A tiny nose stuck out of the hollow and sniffed, then was followed by a black furred muzzle and tiny pup body. Damon smiled, careful to hide his teeth. “Hello, da’fen. If you’d come closer you could have some food.”

The wolf wiggled and sidled up to him, carefully taking a piece of jerky from his hand and swallowing it whole. It made a yipping sound and two other noses appeared from the hollow. Damon felt elated but made himself hold still as they crept closer to him. Cole was smiling brightly next to him. “You’re like me.”

Damon didn’t ask him what he meant, instead focusing on the wolf cubs eating out of his hand. “All right, I know you might not like this, but I’m going to pick you up and take you home.” He followed the warning with a gentle but quick movement that scooped up all three pups. They squealed and struggled, but Cole pressed a finger to each of their heads and they calmed down.

Cullen walked up with a perturbed expression. “How did you get them out so quickly? Surely they couldn’t have been that hungry. They look healthy.”

“He talked to them and they believed him.” Cole said, then disappeared. 

One of the pups was quietly eyeing him with mismatched eyes while the other two fought over a strip of jerky. There seemed to be a dark grey female cub with one yellow and one green eye, a black furred male with green eyes, and a black furred female with brown eyes. The two black cubs were playfully tugging at the meat while the grey one studied him.

“Ser? I can take care of them for you if you want. Wolves are bad luck.” An elven scout spoke up nervously. Judging by the tattoos spreading over their forehead and chin they were from a Dalish clan.

Damon squinted at them. “What do you mean by ‘take care of’?”

The elf swallowed. “Um. Dispose? Of them?” They shifted their feet and eyed the pups uneasily. “Wolves, they… Fen’harel-”

Damon hugged the pups to his chest defensively. “Listen. My gods… aren’t yours. Wolves are… wolves are as close to sacred to me as anything can be. And anyway, ‘ _ I would call Fen’Harel friend if he spoke to me’ .“ _ he said in careful elvhen. 

The elf stared in shock at having elvhen spoken to him but frowned as he obviously worked through the translation. “I don't think you understand, Inquisitor. Fen'harel is the betrayer of our people. Bringer of nightmares. You would never want to call such a being friend.” He then looked at the pups in disgust. “Wolves are his creatures.”

“Wolves are my creatures and the creatures of the Trickster, god of my mother.” He shrugged and said one of the dramatic phrases he’d badgered Solas into teaching him. “ _ Wolves speak many truths if you listen.”  _

The elf paled slightly before frowning in disapproval. “How could you trust in such a god?”

Damon grinned as he began trudging back to the horses. “I don’t trust any gods. I just respect them.” 

The elf sp oke once more. “If I may ask, Inquisitor, where did you learn elvish?”

“Fenan falon’saota.” The Wolf’s Wife. He heard a distressed noise behind him but kept walking. Cullen fell into step beside him.

“I believe I may have missed half of that conversation.” Cullen gave an amused huff. He hesitated before continuing. “Cassandra has told me you were not Andrastian, that neither were your parents. If… if I may, Why do you hold such respect for the god of liars?”

Damon glanced at him, but the guy looked sincere instead of goading or mocking. “You can’t be a good liar if you don’ speak the truth more often. And… I’ve found that the biggest liars are jus’ the people sayin’ truths people don’ like.” 

Cullen considered that for a moment. “I believe I see. It’s not so much that he is the god of liars, but that he is the god of those disbelieved.”

Damon grinned at him in delight and bumped his shoulder into him. “Yeah! Exactly!”

Cullen’s neck reddened and he reached out tentatively and allowed one of the pups to sniff at his knuckles. “Are you really going to keep them?” 

“I’ve already named them, Commander.” Damon smiled down at the cubs.

“Of course you have.” Cullen sighed in an unreasonably longsuffering way. 

Damon managed to jury rig a pack into a sort of sling so he could contain the puppies against his chest as he rode back to the main group. He found the Inner Circle standing next to their horses, all of them watching Emma and Josephine talk. Emma’s eyes flashed when she saw him and she raced towards him, Solas close behind her with an exasperated expression. 

“Damon!”

“Emma! I brought you home some step kids!” Damon slid off of MoFo and let the pups peek their heads out of the pack. “Meet Hel, Jormudgandr, and Fenrir.” 

Solas came up short at the sight of the cubs and gave him a flat look. “Hilarious.” 

Emma facepalmed and sighed. “I am not yelling Jormudgandr across Skyhold every time they pee on the floor.” 

“We can call her Yormuh for short.” Damon grinned and pointed to the black she-cub with brown eyes. “This is Jormudgandr.” He bopped the black he-cub with green eyes on the head. “This is Fenrir. And this one-” The grey cub with odd colored eyes cocked her head and yipped at Solas. “This is Hel.” 

Solas raised an eyebrow at the curious pup, who yipped again before doing its best imitation of a growl

Damon shushed the pup. “Be polite, Hel. That’s your uncle. He’s going to be the one patching you up if you get into trouble.”

Oddly, the pup settled down with a huffing noise.

Cullen rode up next to them. “I still don’t know how you manage to do that. The Red Templars are dead. It is safe to continue. I’ll inform the rest.” Cullen rode off towards the soldiers and scouts waiting beyond. 

“People listen when he talks.” Cole muttered as he appeared and pressed a pouch into Damon’s hand. He slowly brushed his fingers over Hel’s ear before walking away. Damon opened the pouch to find little cubes of meat. Thanks, kid. 

Emma was quick to get one of the pups in her arms, Fenrir playfully biting at the hair she let fall over her shoulder as he settled into the crook of her elbow.

“Their pack wiped out the red templars.” Damon said quietly as he held a piece of meat out to Fenrir. “But the templars got their pack as well.”

Emma gasped before pulling Fenrir tighter to her chest and burrowing her nose in the pup’s neck fur. “Oh, you poor babies.”

“Their mother was a fighter.” Damon rubbed under Jormugandr’s chin. “But, uh, I may have terrified a Dalish scout a bit. Or made them mad. I don’ know yet.” 

Solas actually snorted. “Evils of wolves, I presume.”

“Yeah. I may have also told them I speak to wolves and would call Fen’Harel friend.” Damon quirked a smile.

Solas chuckled. “Yes, that would likely terrify or infuriate a Dalish. Little do they know some of the most prestigious warriors in elvhenan kept wolves as companions.”

“The emerald knights.” Emma grinned as she stroked Fenrir’s fur.

Damon lit up in interest at the hint of a possible story from Solas, then groaned when he saw the main caravan was moving again. “I’m gonna want to hear about them, but we gotta get movin’ now.” 

Emma nodded and started walking towards Caramel with Fenrir still clutched in her arms before Solas caught her elbow and redirected her to Elgar'alas'nir. Emma rolled her eyes but allowed him to hoist her up onto the horse’s back before climbing up behind her.

Damon grinned and looked over at Cassandra, who was obviously trying not to coo over the cubs in public. He raised his eyebrows with a significant glance at Emma and Solas and she shook her head firmly before urging Prince on, without him behind her. “No.” 


	57. Chapter 57

Travelling didn’t seem quite as boring now that he had the pups to care for. They were a squirming bundle of energy and curiosity and he often had to stop MoFo for a minute so that they could tumble on the ground and sniff around before they reluctantly waddled back into the travel pack and let him catch up with the others. Emma would take a puppy to hold, and once she picked up Fenrir and placed him directly in Solas’ arms with an impish grin. 

Solas looked wholly unamused at his wife but Damon caught him absently stroking the pup’s fur and sneaking it small cuts of jerky when he thought no one was looking.

That evening when they stopped to camp, Damon let the pups out and was pleased that they dogged his heels, following closely as he moved around. Once, he passed by the Dalish scout and Hel raised her tiny tail up and yipped at him, tongue lolling out in a wolfish grin. Damon laughed. “Be nice, Hel.”

The scout paled when Hel’s tail drooped obediently and she looked away. He scurried off and Damon led the cubs to the main caravan in search of Cullen. Instead he managed to stumble across the prisoner cart with that slimy mage, Erimond. He frowned at the odd numbing feeling he got when he looked directly at the runes in the bars and looked around for Cullen, fully intending to get away from the guy as quickly as possible.  

“Inquisitor, come to pass the time of day?” The man said with a suspicious levity to his tone.

Damon rolled his eyes but ignored him, instead standing on tip toe and trying to catch a glimpse of Cullen’s distinctive red furred cloak over the bustle of the caravan grinding to a halt. The cubs growled at his feet, their tiny hackles bristling and their stubby tails straight up as they bared their milk teeth at the mage. 

Erimond looked at the cubs with interest before breaking into a smile that made Damon’s teeth set on edge. “Did that Herald of yours finally have a litter? Or did she simply bind them for you?” 

Damon inhaled slowly through his nose for the count of four before exhaling. No prisoner abuse. “They’re not bound.” He caught sight of a soldier he recognized and took a few steps towards her to ask after Cullen. 

“Damon, I can't find-” Emma’s voice caused Damon to turn, dread curling in his gut. He needed to get her away from here.

“Ah, just the ‘Lady’ we were speaking of.” Erimond purred, shifting to give Emma a smile. “Tell me, is it true you took a rattus as a lover? You seem to have quite a fondness for the vermin.”

Emma turned a glare onto the mage, her mouth open to no doubt spit out an amazing insult, but just then a runner hurried by with an open vial of something blue and smelling of ozone and all of the blood drained from her face. She suddenly bent and retched, clutching her stomach as she vomited onto the ground. Damon immediately stepped forward and wet his handkerchief with his water flask and handed it to her, steadying her with one hand. “Hey, s’okay.” 

Erimond sounded practically gleeful. “Oh, how  _ fascinating _ ! That would probably greatly  _ interest _ my master.” 

Damon felt a rush of cold rage through his veins at the subtle threat and he had to take a second to keep himself reined in. Everything in him wanted to slam the slimeball’s face into the bars of the cage. But Emma was pale and shaky beneath his palm, so he forced himself to ignore the man and gently guide her away. “Hey, c’mon, EmTi. Let’s get you sat down.”

“Everyone… everyone knows I don’t like lyrium.” Emma said faintly.

Oh, Emma. He’d have to spell it out for her once they were safely away from eavesdroppers. How someone so smart was so oblivious, he would never know. He led her back to the front of the caravan and to where he could see Solas lighting the magical fire for supper. He sat her down and handed her the water flask. “Hey, stay away from the prisoners, yeah?” 

She nodded, her hand pressed over her mouth. “I jus’ was lookin’ for Thom.”

“Don’t.” He squeezed her shoulder when she bristled. “You can talk to him at Skyhold, but not now. We have too much to handle. Jus’... take care of yourself, kay?”

Cassandra walked up and glanced at Emma with concern. She hesitated, but reached out and squeezed Emma’s shoulder with a slight smile. Emma looked up at her in obvious relief as she moved to sit by the fire.

Fenrir immediately pawed at Emma's legs until she relented and placed him in her lap where he curled up contentedly. Jormungandr toddled over to Cass and very politely sat and stared up at her with moist brown eyes until Cass gave in and allowed her onto her lap.

Hel stayed by his feet and watched the group with bright eyes as he cooked supper. Cullen walked up with a beleaguered expression, but cracked a smile when Damon joked that he was a hard man to find and handed a plate of oatcakes to him. 

After they had all eaten, Damon glanced around the fire to make sure there were no ears in hearing distance. It looked to be just the Inner Circle and Councilors, so he focused on Emma. “Okay, I know… I know you won’t like this, but I- character quests? Am I right?” At Emma’s hesitant nod he sighed and put his face in his hands, ignoring Hel’s sudden interest in nibbling at his fingers. “I need to know everyone’s quest or secret. I mean it, Em.”

“Um. Well, you already know Bl-Thom’s. Um, I took care of Solas’ and Bull’s was at the Storm Coast…”

He rolled his free hand to get her to keep going.

“Um. Zevran, Loghain, Al- my guest, and Hawke aren’t supposed to be here so I don’t know if they-. Sten becomes Arishok, Wynne died,  Morrigan will show up later ,  And- uh, Justice died. Sigrun, Velanna, Oghren, Shale, Fenris, Isabelle unknown, Sebastion, Aveline, Merril, I either don’t know or they shouldn’t show up. Oh, and Nathaniel Howe. I don’t know… if the Hero killed him or not, but he also shouldn’t show up as far as I know. That’s… that’s everyone, all of the companions.” 

Loghain tensed and glanced at Damon with an unreadable look, but said nothing.

“Um. Dorian’s is his father will try to trick him into meeting with him.”

“What?” Dorian startled. 

“I already handled that.” Damon waved him off. 

“What?” Dorian now sounded indignant. 

“I got his letter asking me to trick you into going to Redcliffe to meet a retainer. I sent scouts to make sure it wasn’t a trap. They found your father so I sent him an invitation to Skyhold if he wishes to see you.” Damon shrugged. “If he really wants to reconcile, he’ll meet you on your turf.” 

“Oh. I… Thank you.”

“Next?”

“Um. Cullen…”

“I know his.” Damon cut in. He could guess what Cullen’s big secret was and Cullen’s relieved breath confirmed it. 

“Cole… will need your help avoiding ever being bound. Sera will need you as back up to meet with a friend, but it will go south. If you grab the guy who tries to out you and make him duck you might be able to save him from being shot.”

“Shite.” Sera wrinkled her nose. “I know who that is! Pissy arsefaced noble bastard.”

“Um. Leliana will get a letter from the Divine. Vivienne will want a white wyvern heart for a potion. It won’t work.” Emma screwed up her face in thought. “Varric's is… Bianca.”

“Shit.” Varric ran a hand over his face.

Damon blinked for a second and tapped Hel on the nose when she yipped. “Bianca Bianca? Or crossbow Bianca?” When Varric groaned Damon chuckled. “Sorry, man. But It's pretty obvious.”

“She’ll show up with a lead to the source of the red lyrium-” she gave Varric an apologetic look before continuing. “She inadvertently gave the red lyrium location to the Corypheus.” 

“Well that’s just… shit.” Varric ran his hands over his face and stood up. “Excuse me.” 

With that he walked off and Damon closed his eyes. “I’m assuming I’m going to have to go underground to deal with that?” Emma nodded and he sighed. “Fuck.”

After a moment Emma continued. “Josephine will try to reopen trade routes to Orlais and will find out that the  Du Paraquettes have a hundred year old contract with the House of Repose, uh, assassins, on her.”

“Fuck, Emma! That is the exact kind of thing I needed to know months ago!” He looked at Josephine, who was covering her mouth in shock. “We’ll figure out more about that and handle it. Don’t send anyone anywhere yet.”

Zevran cleared his throat. “I might be of assistance in that area.”

“You can get the Du Paraquettes re-elevated to nobility and annul the contract. You don’t have to go the bloody way.” Emma glanced at Leliana uncertainly. 

Before Damon could reply, Emma’s eyes widened and she pointed at Cassandra. “The Seekers are at Caer Oswin! The real Lucius is giving them over to the Order of Fiery Promise! I forgot!” 

Cassandra stared at her in shock before her jaw clenched. “Then they-” she cut herself off by looking over at him. “As soon as they can spare me I must look into this.”

Damon shook his head and looked at Emma. “Bad guys?”

“Um. Mostly the Order of Fiery Promise, one rift?”

He rolled that over in his head and looked at Cullen. “I need you to send people to Caer Oswin. Enough to hold off demons until we can get the Herald there.” 

“There… might be a few Seekers still alive there.” Emma hugged herself. 

“Have them bring any Seekers they find to Skyhold.” He looked at Cass. “I’ll get you there as soon as we can.” 

Cass gave him a grateful nod but after that everyone was quiet for a few moments. Zevran was the first to break the silence. “I find it fascinating, Stella, that I wasn't ‘supposed to be here’.”

“Or me.” Hawke said with a pensive frown. “What does that mean?” 

Emma chewed on her lip and glanced at Damon before looking down in her lap and fussing with Fenrir’s fur. “Well, things changed… I mean, we were able to change things for the better.”

“Apparently I can throw a wrench in the plans of both gods and men.” Damon snorted wryly.

“That doesn't exactly answer the question, but I have the feeling it's the most we’re going to get out of you two.” Leliana hummed.

Damon snorted again, feeling amused. “Round and round we go, what we’ll say, no one knows.”

After a while, Emma leaned her head back against Solas’ shoulder and Damon could tell her eyes were starting to get heavy. Fenrir gave a yip of protest when she stopped stroking his fur.

“Fenrir. Come.” Damon said quietly, holding out a scrap of meat to entice him. He didn’t want him disturbing her. The cub flattened his ears but wiggled out of her lap and walked towards him. 

Cullen frowned at him. “They do not act like wolf cubs.” 

“He talked to them.” Cole said as he handed a flask of cider to Solas. “Safe, protected. A new pack. Everyone listens when he talks. It’s when he doesn’t talk that they don’t listen.”

“Dude.” Damon blinked at Cole in surprise. He knew he needed to get better at talking about his… issues. “That… was really subtle but I got the point.”

“No. You didn’t.” Cole actually gave him a smile before disappearing from sight again.

Solas looked between where the spirit had been standing to Damon before shaking his head and lifting a groggy Emma up as he stood, “As interesting of a conversation as that promises, we must say goodnight.”

“Night. Have fun in the fade.” Damon ruffled Fenrir’s ears as the pup looked mournfully after Emma. The cub had definitely taken a shine to her. 

Solas taking Emma to bed seemed to be an unspoken signal and the group dispersed quickly. Damon stood up, carefully shedding wolves onto the ground.

“Inquisitor, if I may have a word?” Leliana stood and folded her hands behind her back, her face a picture of bland interest. 

Cassandra studied his face and when he nodded at her, she squeezed his shoulder and then signed, “Afterwards, come to my tent. Bring the…” She hesitated and spelled out, “wolves.”

He gave her the correct sign and a bright smile. “As you wish.” 

She blushed and hurried off to her tent, leaving him alone with Leliana beside the flickering fire. Well, mostly alone. The cubs curled up on top of his boots with tiny yawns. Leliana smiled down at them before looking at him sharply. 

“Since you appreciate bluntness: something happened in the Fade and I wish to know what.”

“We all gave you our reports.” Damon felt his spine tense and the cubs’ heads all popped up in alertness. He knew he had left his… memories out of his report, but he couldn’t imagine what she wanted to know that the others hadn’t said. 

“Yes. But… there is obviously something being left out. Even Cassandra, who besides Warden Loghain gave the most detailed report, was obviously avoiding mentioning something. When I asked her, she told me it was not hers to say. With everyone’s reluctance to reveal what transpired, I can only assume it had something to do with you or Lady Emma.” 

Her eyes were studying his face as she spoke and he took care to keep his expression fixed even though his mind was reeling with the discovery that everyone had kept his past secret. Why had they done that? Even Loghain, who barely knew him, had apparently left all of that out of his report. Why? 

“I’m sorry, Leliana, but I told you everything I was willing to in my report.” He gave her a rueful smile. “I… what the others know about me now, I didn’t want them to either.” 

“Will it affect the Inquisition?”

Damon hesitated, considering that very valid concern. “I… no more than it already has.”

She cocked her head in obvious question.

“People are a sum of their experiences. Mine shaped who I am today, and who I am affects the decisions I make.” 

“So it  _ is _ something about you and not the Herald.” She sounded slightly pleased with herself.

“Yeah. If it was something with Emma I woulda stonewalled you. But you’re my friend, Leliana, and even though I have some… issues, I wanna be as honest as I can with you.” He reached down and rubbed Hel’s ears when she whimpered. “I’ll just say that they all saw me at my lowest.”

Something like understanding crossed her face before she put on a flippant expression. “I regret not sending Zevran with you after all. He at least would tell me.”

“Don’t.” Damon shook his head. “Don’t regret trying to keep the ones you care about safe. Good night, Leliana.”

Her lips parted in shock but he just turned away and clicked his tongue so the pups would follow him. He didn’t bother trying to sneak in tonight, instead ducking directly through the front flap of Cassandra’s tent. 

He pulled his boots off and set them by the entrance. Jormungandr looked at them with interest and Damon shook his head. “No chewing on my boots. I’ll find y’all some bones tomorrow.” 

Cassandra laughed quietly and flipped back her blanket in invitation. “You talk to them as if they were children.” 

“They pretty much are.” He said quietly and slipped in beside her, gathering her up and pressing a kiss to her mouth. “Thank you.” 

She kissed him and pulled the blanket over them both. “Rest.” 

The cubs toddled onto the foot of the bedroll and curled up in a pile of fur, Jormungandr resting her head on Cass’ calf. Damon closed his eyes and squeezed her slightly. “As you wish.” 

  
  
  
  
  


Emma could have leapt for joy at the very sight of Skyhold. The trip had been long and dusty and she wanted a bath. She’d been sick the whole trip and she blamed the few templars that smelled so strongly of lyrium that she couldn’t walk near one without throwing up. But they were finally home and she could have a nice, long, hot soak in the tub and sleep in a real bed. 

They arrived at Skyhold and the mayhem of unpacking a large group of people began. She tried to help, but Damon picked her up bodily and set her on the steps to the main castle. “No. Go rest before you get stepped on.” 

She stuck her tongue out at him, but slowly climbed the stairs, feeling every mile of the trip in her lower back. She tossed her pack onto her bed without even bothering to open it up and started stripping out of her dusty travel clothes as she headed for the bathroom. Two hours later the water finally ran cold and she dried off and dressed in one of the soft, cream colored dresses that Jospehine had apparently had made for her. It felt a bit loose but still tight around the chest and she made a mental note to give Josephine her actual measurements so she wouldn’t have to guess. Clean, dressed, and for once without the smell of lyrium in her nose, she stepped out of her room and headed straight for the gardens where she was most likely to find Orana and Gaelathe.

The castle was hectic with shouting servants and runners and she slipped around the edge of the main hall to get to the entrance to the garden. She blinked against the brightness of the setting sun as she closed the door behind her, and then blinked in surprise when she saw Orana sitting on the ground with Alistair beside her. Alistair was holding Gaelathe’s hands and talking to him quite seriously about the advantages of learning to sit by oneself. Alistair looked better, healthier, and not as sad, his eyes bright as he played with Gaelathe. 

Emma suppressed a fangirl squeal at Alistair playing with a baby by pressing both hands over her mouth. Gaelathe suddenly looked up and gave a happy shriek, letting go of Alistair’s fingers and reaching out for her with a gummy grin. A feather light feeling of excited joy brushed against Emma's aura. 

“Hello, Gaelathe!” She smiled and rushed for him, scooping him up and hugging him tightly. “I’ve missed you so much! You’re getting so big!” 

“Do you often make a habit of swooping in and grabbing random children?” Alistair stood and his tone sounded surprisingly good humored if a bit wary.

“Not a random child.” Emma pressed numerous kisses to Gaelathe’s head, making him giggle. “This is… this is my son. And anyway, swooping is bad.” 

“Um. Yeah, swooping is very bad. But… son?” He gave a confused glance at Gaelathe’s ears and then Orana.

Orana twisted her hands together nervously. “The spymaster said that I shouldn’t let too many people know that he was yours, M’lady, I wasn’t trying to pass him off as my own, she just said that it would keep him a little safer.” 

“That was a very good idea!” Emma smiled at her. “Thank you for taking such good care of him. But Alistair is safe. I trust him.” 

Orana looked incredibly relieved but Alistair startled. “Why? I mean... “ He ran a hand over his face. “Okay, I’m still stuck on the fact that he’s apparently your kid.” 

Emma laughed and sat down on the grass, Gaelathe happily playing with her hair and making gurgling humming noises. “Surely adoption isn’t that uncommon?”

Alistair processed that for a second before shrugging and stiffly sitting back down. “Farmers sometimes ‘adopt’ kids but it’s more of an apprenticeship. Elven children are usually passed over in the assumption that they are weaker. Nobles… I’ve never heard of a noble adopting before. Blood lines are too important to them.”

Emma sighed and wiped some drool from Gaelathe’s chin with the hem of her dress. “I hate that. Family is what you make, not what you’re born with. And anyway, people really need to get over their shi-, uh, horrible racism.” Dang it, Damon.

Orana smiled down at the ground as she shook out a blanket and pretended she wasn’t listening. Alistair studied her with interest. “You’re… nothing like what I expected when I was first ‘brought’ here.”

Emma winced, “Yeah, about that. Sorry about how… you know… but I really did just want to help you.”

He reached out and let Gaelathe grab onto his fingers again. He twisted his mouth in a rueful smile. “I… am glad? I think.” He looked at her suddenly with an intense look. “The Calling stopped.”

She smiled gently. “Yeah. We took care of it. Told you it wasn’t real.” 

He snorted, but his expression looked relieved. “That you did. Loudly and often.” 

Orana smothered a giggle with her hand and Emma rolled her eyes. “Well, to be fair you were a little ‘difficult’.”

“You kidnapped me.” He said flatly, but with an amused glint in his eyes.

“Acquired.” Emma mimicked Leliana’s accent. 

“Forcefully acquired.” He raised an eyebrow in mock challenge. 

“Collected.” This time she mimicked Zevran’s accent. 

“Forcefully collected.” 

“No fair, if I have to find new words than so do you.” She grinned at him, enjoying the fact that she could joke with him.

He rolled his eyes. “Fine. Unwillingly collected.”

“Picked up fr’m th’ sida th’ road an’ toted home w’thout so much as a ‘ma, ken ah keep ‘im? I promise to keep ‘im fed and clean up aft’r ‘im’.” She drawled heavily in Damon’s and her own native accent.

Alistair cocked his head, “That is… Different.”

“Wha’? Ain’t never heared a good ol’ fashion’ southern accent afore?” She grinned.

“That.. is not a Fereldon accent or even a Wilds accent.”

“Diff’rent south.” She giggled at his obvious confusion and Gaelathe flapped his arms in responding happiness.

“Do not try to figure it out. I fear not even our esteemed spymaster has managed to pry the secret of their origins from them.” Zevran called out from the entrance to the gardens.

Alistair looked up and nodded at the assassin. “Zev.”

“Hello, my friend, you look better.” Zevran dropped to the ground and sprawled out on his stomach and tickled Gaelathe’s foot, making him squirm and giggle. Emma couldn't contain her grin, this was just too much.

Zevran smirked at her. “I believe our Inquisitor would say, ‘you look like you’re about to squee’. He still hasn’t explained what that means.” 

Emma blushed, “I just… you are both playing with a baby… it's just so… domestic.”

Zevran narrowed his eyes impishly. “So, you enjoy seeing us both playing family? I haven’t seen you this near ‘squee’ since the cuddle pile.” 

Alistair coughed. “Um. The- the what?” 

Before she could an swer Damon popped his head into the mix. “Hey Em, gotta sec? Ooh! Baby and blondes! You’re hogging all of the good stuff!” He rushed over and scooped up Gaelathe, blowing a raspberry onto his stomach to make him giggle as the wolf cubs tumbled after him. “Hey there, kiddo! How’s my favorite kid!” He snuggled Gaelathe close and smiled down at Zevran and Alistair. “Hey, Honey. Hey, Sugar. How’re ya feeling?” 

“I- what- better?” Alistair’s eyes flickered between her, Zevran, Damon, and Gaelathe in absolute bewilderment as he stood to his feet quickly. “Sugar?” He frowned and looked down to where Jormungandr was tugging at his pant leg. “Wolves?”

“Good. Good. Well, as pretty as this picture is, I really do need to talk to you, Em.” Damon grinned and glanced at Orana. “Would you mind taking Gaelathe to Solas? I need to talk to Emma and Gaelathe should get some time with his babae. He’s in the rotunda.” 

Emma quirked a brow at him at the use of elvhen, but the term somehow felt right, even if it did make her wonder about Solas’ opinion on it.

Orana curtseyed and gathered up Gaelathe’s things into a bag and then picked up a teary Gaelathe before slipping away. Zevran pouted up at Damon and pushed a sniffing Fenrir away from his face. “Sugar? I might be feeling jealous, Inquisitor.”

Damon snorted and snapped his fingers. The cubs all trotted over to him and looked up attentively until he dropped a few bits of jerky to them. “Honey, I don’ feel like getting my eyes pecked out. I’m hands off as always.”

Emma glanced between them in fond confusion but stood up. 

“Good to see you, Sugar. I’ll come by to talk about the school later.”

Alistair blanched suddenly. “Yes… I um… they are with Fiona at the moment. Herbology… or something like that.”

Damon nodded. “Good deal. Don’t follow, Honey.” Damon motioned for her to exit the garden. She rolled her eyes and waved at Alistair and Zevran as she headed for the garden door. “See you later.”

Damon grabbed her arm gently and began tugging her along behind him all the way to his room. She followed with amusement. “What’s going on?”

He waited until the door was safely closed behind them before putting his hands on her shoulders. “Em, you’re pregnant.”

Her brain screeched to a halt. “What?”

“You haven’t needed your period stuff for two months now and I know Solas isn’t helping you remember them. Your, uh, shirts are tighter up there, but you’ve lost weight, probably because you keep puking. You’ve got the skin glow, the smell of lyrium suddenly makes you sick, and you turned up your nose at coffee this morning.”

“I-” What? “But-” She looked at Damon with wide eyes. She couldn’t be! Could she? “Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, might need a mage to confirm, but yeah.”

“Oh.” How would Solas react? Damon was looking at her with a serious but unreadable expression. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Cuz I’m waiting to see if I need to help you take care of it, or if I’m an excited uncle to be.”

OH! A barrier flashed into place around her and she instinctively hugged her stomach protectively as she realized he was asking if she wanted to keep it or not. He abruptly grinned and dropped into a crouch and pressed his face to her stomach. 

“Oh my god! Hello, Puppy!”

She smacked him on the head and laughed as she tried to step away. “No! You’re not calling it that!” Oh merciful heavens! She was pregnant. A whole slew of emotions ran through her as the realization hit her. Excitement, Fear. Confusion. Anxiety. Uncertainty. Hope. How was she supposed to raise children while fighting a war? How was she supposed to do it pregnant for that matter? 

He patted her stomach and stood up. “You can’t stop me. Now, how or when do you want to tell babae’fen?”

Emma barely had the clarity of mind to laugh. How was she going to tell Solas? Did he already know? He never said anything. Cole’s actions lately now made more sense. His constant hovering, making sure there was bland food available for her, and distracting the templars so they didn't walk near her. She’d even once found him talking to Caramel, about ‘fragile lights need gentle walks’.

“ Nooo… Please, please don’t call him daddy wolf.” Emma buried her face in her hands, momentarily distracted from her freak out by the realization that Damon was going to be absolutely impossible with the jokes. As if the cubs weren’t prompt enough. She sighed. “I… now? I- I’ll tell him now.”

Damon chuckled and took her hand. “Alright. I gotcha. Let’s go tell him the good news somehow.” 

They made their way through the main hall, attracting quite a few looks as they headed for the Rotunda hand in hand and with three wolf cubs bouncing along behind them. Emma slowly eased through the door of the Rotunda, Damon not far behind. The sight of Solas at his desk with Gaelathe resting against his chest and playing with his jaw bone necklace as he read made her stomach flip nervously. How would he react? Would he be happy? Upset? They had never talked about kids or even the possibility. She was a grown woman, dang it, why hadn't she thought about it? There were teas or things she could have taken right?

Solas looked up from his book and furrowed his brow, his aura brushing against her curiously. “Emma’lath?”

Damon gave her a moment extra to think by smiling and moved forward to gently pick Gaelathe up. “Hey there, lil’bud.” Gaelathe squealed in delight at the sight of Damon and immediately latched onto his hair to play with. 

Solas looked a bit hurt that Gaelathe so readily left him for Damon, not that he’d ever admit it, but still it made her hopeful of his reaction. She felt his curiosity and slight concern as she was sure her emotions were a big jumble and difficult for him to decipher. His eyes followed her hands as she tugged at her sleeve. “ _ Emma’lath, Ane ma son?” Are you well? _

Damon gave her an encouraging little ‘go on’ gesture and she swallowed nervously. “Um… Solas, do-do I feel any different to you?”

Solas’ frown deepened as her studied her. “Your well of magic has grown considerably but otherwise you have not changed.” He tilted his head at her in thought and stood up. “Is this about the Fade?”

Emma shook her head wondering how best to tell him. Maybe… “Can you… check me for anything… physically I mean?”

“Of course.” Solas still looked confused but took her hand and led her to stand in the center of the room, in front of his desk. “You have lost some weight, most likely due to your reaction to lyrium and your exertion in the fade. Is that what worries you?” His voice was thoughtful. 

“Partly.” She answered quietly.

Solas nodded and closed his eyes, his hands came up to hover on each side of her head as his familiar cooling healing magic flooded her. He slowly moved his hands downward, thoroughly checking her shoulders, heart and lungs. She held her breath as she felt his attention shift lower and she studied his features looking for any sign of recognition or realization.

At first there was nothing as his hand hovered over her abdomen, then suddenly his breath caught. His eyes snapped open but he didn't look up. He just stood there, frozen, staring at her abdomen. His aura strangely quiet and still.

Emma wrung her hands nervously. That wasn't good, was it? “I know… it's probably not the best time, withCoryphaseandtheVeilandgodknowswhatelsetryingtokillusbut-” she bit her lip to stop herself from rambling any more, it definitely wasn’t helping.

Damon waved his hand in front of Solas’ face, making him blink almost robotically. “Dude. React before you make her cry. Is she actually havin’ a litter and if so, how do you feel about it?” 

Solas paled slightly, before licking his lip nervously. “It… should not be possible.”

“It’s Emma.” Damon sounded almost gentle as he put his hand on her shoulder. Emma distantly had the impression that if Solas didn’t react positively soon that Damon would be whisking her away. Fenrir licked her ankle. 

“ _ Elgar tel’din’ema da’lin,” spirits are not able to have children.  _ Solas whispered as he pressed a trembling hand against her belly and a stunned smile pulled at his lips and Emma was suddenly hit with a tidal wave of emotions. Joy, Fear, Longing, Awe, Hope, and fierce protectiveness. He wanted this. He was happy. “ _ Ar tel’sil-” I didn't think-   _ his eyes snapped up to hers and her breath caught as they flashed electric green. “ _ Ma’elvar’asha _ .”  _ My impossible woman.  _

“Good.” Damon said softly and she felt his hand leave her shoulder and then the sound of the door closing behind her.

Solas’ hand immediately went to the nape of her neck to pull her forward, to claim her lips and kiss her deeply before breaking off and pressing their foreheads together, his breathing erratic. His thumb stroked her jaw while his other hand was still caressing her belly, in what she guessed was an attempt to calm himself. “How-” he didn't get the question out before his voice cracked and he shook his head in frustration. “I feel like a bumbling fool. How did I not even notice, not realize?”

“Well,” She laughed and felt tears of joy well up. “I’m the one with a baby apparently in my body and my brother is the one who had to let me know.” 

He suddenly barked a laugh and buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Babies, Emma’lath. There are two.”

It was her turn to freeze. Two? Twins? She let out a slightly hysterical laugh. “Oh my god, he’s never going to stop with the litter jokes.” 

“Hell yes!” Damon's voice sounded from behind the door accompanied by the high pitched howling of a wolf pup. Solas sighed heavily before glaring at the door. “Oh shit sorry.”


	58. Chapter 58

Damon had tried to give them some privacy but had hung out by the door to make sure no one walked in on them. (And so he could hear Emma if things went sour.) Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your sense of humor, while listening for sounds of distress he managed to overhear the amazing, incredible, terrifying news that Emma was having twins. An actual litter! He couldn’t help the fist pump and exclamation. “Hell yes!” Hel threw back her head and howled and he leaned against the door to laugh, feeling pretty dizzy with the emotions the past few minutes had brought. He heard Solas sigh and winced. “Oh, shit. Sorry!”

Varric eyed him from across the hall. “So… what’s that all about?”

“I’m a father!” He called out, scooping up Hel and presenting her when all eyes in the hall turned on him. There was a heavy thump as something rebounded against the other side of the door he was leaning against and he laughed again. Gaelathe made a cooing noise and reached over to clumsily pat Hel’s fur.

Varric rolled his eyes. “They’re only your kids if you put them in the will, Blot.”

Damon looked down at the cubs contemplatively and Varric groaned.

“You did not get that idea from me!” Varric rubbed a hand across his face and chuckled. “Anyway, wicked grace, tonight at the Rest. I reserved the top floor for it tonight.”

Damon laughed and set Hel down so he could snap his fingers, hand feeding the pups another bit of dried meat when they fell into position beside him. He glanced up when he heard the sounds of hushed, childish whispers and the sounds of feet marching mostly in time. He saw a troop of younger kids filing through the main hall from the direction of the mage’s tower, Fiona leading them towards the gardens. They must be done with Herbology or whatever. 

He grinned and waved at the kids before holding his hand flat by his side in command for the pups to stay. They wiggled in place, noses and ears twitching curiously, but obeyed, and he rewarded them with another treat when the doors closed behind the last of the kids.

Damon tossed a two fingered salute to Varric. “I’ll be there and I’ll be dragging most everyone I can snag there with me.”

A runner dashed through the main doors and looked around, expression relieved when she spotted Damon right nearby. “Inquisitor! Ser Cullen wishes to speak with you in the courtyard.”

Damon nodded and hefted Gaelathe into a more secure position. “Thank you. I’ll be right there. Follow.” 

The runner hesitated, then seemed to realize he was talking to the cubs instead of her. She saluted and they moved past each other. Suddenly, Damon realized what was on the other side of the door and turned to warn her, but she was already closing the door with a bright red face. She glanced at him and grimaced. “I believe I’ll take the long way.” 

Damon laughed and shook his head as he headed for the main doors. “Tell Solas to stop traumatizing the runners, will you?” He called out to Varric as he passed by. “He’s got a room for a reason.” 

“I'm not touching that, Blot!” 

Damon snickered again and slowly made his way down the stairs, having to pause every few steps so the cubs could keep up and Gaelathe could coo and look around. Eventually, they all made it to the courtyard where Cullen was rubbing the bridge of his nose and talking with Loghain and another warden.

He walked up and dropped another bit of meat when the pups immediately sat next to him with their ears up. “You needed me, Commander?”

Cullen looked up with obvious relief. “Yes, Inquisitor. We were discussing where to station the Wardens. This is the newly appointed Warden Commander, Nathaniel Howe.”

Damon looked him over, noting his tired but determined expression and the way his eyes softened when they ran over Gaelathe, before saluting. “Pleasure to meet you, Warden Commander.” He frowned as the name rang a distant bell in his memory. “Howe?” 

The dark haired Warden tensed but nodded. “Indeed.” His voice was soft and Damon distinctly remembered Emma mentioning that once upon a time.

“Oh! Nathaniel Howe! You should talk to Em- The Herald when you have the chance! She’ll be quite pleased.” 

Loghain chuckled quietly, but had his scowl fixed firmly back in place when Nathaniel gave him a side glance. “Speaking of the Herald, I wished to request to be placed on her personal guard.”

Damon blinked at Loghain, feeling momentarily shocked at the request, and then amused. “I’m fine with that. I wanna be there when Emma finds out though. Her face will be priceless.” 

“You think she’ll disapprove?”

“Just of having a personal guard, not against you personally anymore, I don’t think.” Damon shrugged. “She’s ah…”

“Wild?” Loghain suggested dryly. 

Damon laughed. “Yeah. But, back to business. Has the southwest tower been cleared yet?”

Cullen nodded. “Yes, but it is quite close to the mage’s tower and some people are uneasy having them so close to the children.” 

“It’s also between the Templars and the Mage’s tower. Spin it like you’re providing a buffer.” Damon shrugged.

Cullen opened his mouth but then nodded thoughtfully. “Yes, I believe that would work.”

Damon smiled at the Warden Commander and bounced Gaelathe gently to make him gurgle in delight. “You can check out the southwest tower and see if it will fit your needs?”

Cullen waved over a runner who was standing by the door. “Show the Warden Commander to the southwest tower and take stock of whatever may be needed to get them settled.”

The runner saluted and Nathaniel followed suit with a quiet. ‘Sers’ and left to follow his appointed guide with only one curious glance back at Gaelathe and the wolf cubs.  Damon waited until he was out of earshot before looking at Loghain. “I thought you were the senior warden? Shouldn’t you be the new Warden Commander?”

Loghian scowled. “I… retired. I plan to volunteer for the Herald’s experiments and should they fail or prove successful, either way I am no longer fit to lead the Wardens.” 

Damon studied at him thoughtfully and pulled some of his hair out of Gaelathe’s fist. “This... isn’t because of what Emma said, is it? Cause, that’s not your fate anymore. You don’t have to throw yourself on every wire you see.”

Loghain shook his head. “I have spent many a year regretting my choices. I will do so no longer.” 

Damon tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Kay.” He glanced at Cullen, who was very intently pretending to read a piece of paper. “You need me for anythin’ else while I’m here?”

“No, ser. You resolved the most pressing matter. The rest can be delivered to your desk to be dealt with… later.” He glanced between Loghain and him uncertainly. “Shall I make it official? The Herald’s personal guard?”

“Yeah. Also, you’re coming to the Herald’s Rest tonight.” 

Cullen opened his mouth to protest but Damon reached out and gripped his shoulder, baring his teeth in a bright grin. “Nope! You’re coming to the Rest if I have to drag you there by your cape.”

Cullen grimaced but nodded. “Very well. Just please do not send Zevran to fetch me.”

Damon laughed. “Sure thing, Blondie. See you tonight.” He waved goodbye with Gaelathe’s arm and to be nice pretended he didn’t hear Cullen’s quiet coo. “If you’re gonna be trying to guard Emma I should probably show you around and give you some tips.” 

Loghian bowed his head slightly. “Very well.”

“Right. First thing: if you can’t find her, look up.”

Loghain scowled like he was being mocked and Damon huffed as he scooped up a puppy into each pocket of his pants so they could sit with just their heads poking out and put Hel in the crook of free arm. He pointed up at the ramparts as he headed for the stables. “She likes to climb on things, if you can’t find her near sunrise or sunset, check up there. Don't startle her, she’ll be sitting on the parapets.”

Loghian sighed. “You seem to think I will be losing track of her often.”

Damon smirked and pointed to the little shaded area beneath the steps to the castle. “She’ll sometimes go low too, though not as often. Under the stairs, behind the merchant stalls, just keep in mind most everyone likes her and will cover for her. She makes rounds to visit people.” 

He walked into the stables and pointed up at the rafters. “If she runs off because she’s upset, try looking up there or in the tallest tree you can find in a five minute run.” He went through the stables and to the stairs through the kitchens. He grinned when Ilaan brandished a spoon at him.

“Get your pets out of the kitchen!” She cooed at Hel when she yipped, but then popped Damon on the elbow with her spoon. “Out!”

Loghain’s scowl looked a bit amused as Damon hurried out of the kitchen. Damon shrugged and readjusted Gaelathe on his hip. “Em probably won’t hide in there, but it’s a shortcut. She’s not likely to hide in the main hall either, but check the scaffolding in the Rotunda, the top shelves in the library, and behind the crates in the Rookery. Just, uh, if you can’t see Solas or Emma, there’s a good chance you’ll walk in on them in a compromising situation in the Rotunda.”

Loghain startled as they walked into the main hall. “In public?”

Damon snorted. “As you may have guessed, Em and I ain’t exactly traditional. Yes, in public. Just knock before you go in if you don’t have eyes on one or the other.” He pointed to his chambers. “That’s my room, don’t go in there even if you’re one hundred percent sure she’s there unless you are also as certain she is in immediate danger.”

“Of course.” Loghain came as close to rolling his eyes as he’d ever seen the guy. 

Damon headed for the garden entrance and pushed open the heavy wooden door, speaking quietly as he nodded for Loghain to go ahead of him. “This is the gardens and where we have the beginnings of our school for kids. Also, another good bet for where to find a hiding Emma.”

They entered quietly and stayed in the shadowed area to watch the children’s lesson. Damon could see Alistair standing in the center of the garden with his back to them and a tiny elven kid on his shoulders. The school age kids were in a ragged line in front of him. He called out an addition problem and most of the kid’s hands shot up. He picked one and they yelled the answer, and when he said it was correct they hopped forward. 

Loghain huffed quietly in amusement as they watched the arithmetic lesson. Finally, one of the elven kids reached Alistair and immediately began climbing up his leg. That seemed to be some sort of signal because the kids swarmed forward and he fell to the ground, playfully wrestling the kids as he congratulated them on learning their facts. Finally, he jokingly called for help and Damon stepped out and cleared his throat with a grin.

Alistair’s eyes widened and he scrambled to extract himself from the swarm of kids. “Inquisitor! We were just… doing arithmetic?” He brushed some grass off of his knees and straightened awkwardly. 

Loghain sucked in a sharp breath beside him, taking a half step back before folding his arms and scowling. Alistair squinted at him before matching his scowl. “Why the f-” He cut himself off with a glance at the kids. 

Loghain continued the question in a child appropriate manner. “How did you end up here of all places?”

Alistair grimaced. “Fetched by crows.” At Damon’s bemused look he continued. “The Herald was insistent that I not die. How did you end up here?” 

Loghain made a gruff noise in his throat. “Ah. The Herald was rather insistent that I do die.”

Alistair raised an eyebrow. “What went wrong?”

Loghain set his jaw. “The Inquisitor disagreed.”

Damn right he did. One of the kids tugged on Loghain’s tunic. It was a younger kid with his thumb in his mouth. It took a second, but Damon recognized him as the kid that the sister had caned before Alistair became teacher. He mumbled something around the digit and Loghain stilled, casting Alistair a dark look before crouching and gently tugging the boy’s hand away from his mouth. 

“If you suck on your thumb like that, your teeth will grow in crooked. But I could not hear what you said. Would you repeat yourself?”

The kid nodded and folded his hands behind his back. “I said if th’ sisters cane you, the ‘quisitor will stop them and the Herald ‘ill fix your hand. You should know.”

Loghain and Alistair both blinked at the kid in surprise. Loghain frowned. “Why should I know that?”

“You’re all frowny like you got a caned.” The kid reached out and poked his face. 

Loghain reared back but the kids had crowded close and another one was by his face. “You can’t poke him! He’s a grown up!”

“Teacher is a grown up and we can poke his face!”

“Only if we get a question right!”

“Hey, are you a Warden too? You look like one!”

Damon stepped backwards to leave Loghain to his fate. Alistair looked torn between snatching the kids away from him and also leaving him to torture by childish questions. Damon gave him a serious look, or as serious as one could look with a baby in your arm and puppies in your pockets. “So. How are lessons coming along?”

Alistair tore his eyes away from the man and blushed slightly. “Uh, Well. They’re coming along well. I- despite appearances- I mean-”

The orlesian kid, Danielle, rolled her eyes and propped the tiny elven kid onto her hip. “Enchantress Fiona says that despite his unorthodox teaching methods, we are all advancing quickly and admirably. Teacher is nervous because he wanted us to put on our best face when you came by, but he didn’t expect you to come by the gardens twice in a day and you caught us by surprise in the middle of review day, and despite how much he grumbled at first, he doesn’t want you to take away his teaching job.”

Damon grinned at her. “You spend a lot of time with Leliana?”

The girl gave a coy smile. “The Ambassador, Monsieur. She says she will sponsor me once I have finished learning my letters and sums.” 

Damon was elated that already the school was providing futures for kids, but before he could say anything, the door to the garden flung open and a glowing Emma burst in.

“Damon! What was the one thing I told you? I said: keep them apart! And what do you do? Lead them right to each other!” She faltered when she saw the kids swarming over a resigned Loghain. “Wh- How-? Oh my god, I need a camera.” She said faintly. 

He hadn’t intended to lead them straight to each other, but honestly it was a lot better for them to find out about the other in front of a bunch of kids they would be unwilling to make a scene in front of instead of accidentally running into each other somewhere on the grounds. Now they could mutually avoid each other because the initial shock of seeing the other was passed.

Loghain extricated himself from the questioning children and Damon looked at Danielle. “Kitchen password is: “secret recipe for tacos’.”

The kids let up a loud cheer and scrambled to form two even lines behind Danielle. She lifted her chin proudly and led them out of the gardens and to the kitchens. Damon waited until the door closed behind him before turning his attention back to Emma. Her eyes were flicking between Alistair and Loghain, who were glaring at each other, and suddenly her eyes widened like something had just clicked in her head.

“Oh no, please tell me that Cousland isn’t the father!” She suddenly blurted out and then clapped her hands over her mouth.

Alistair frowned at her in confusion but Loghain paled. Oh boy.

Loghain colle cted himself and shook his head. “If you are referring to what I fear you are, then no, my lady. He is not.” 

Emma sagged in relief and reached out to take Gaelathe. “Oh, good. He’s an as- uh, jerk.”  

Damon passed Gaelathe over to her and let the puppies out of his pockets. “Emma.” He sighed and looked at the sky, fondly frustrated at her habit of blurting out secrets in front of people. “Emma.”

“Oh. Sorry.” She hugged Gaelathe sheepishly. 

Loghain glanced at her and then Alistair. “Ah. I wondered why you had been avoiding mentioning your ‘guest’s’ name around me.” 

Damon rolled his eyes and gestured grandly to Loghain. “Emma, meet your new personal guard. Try not to make his job too hard. He’s gonna be following you around to keep you safe.” 

Emma’s mouth fell open as she gaped at him, her eyes bouncing from one to the other as if trying to determine if he was serious. When he nodded and gave her the ‘I'm dead serious’ look she closed her eyes and pinched her nose. ‘Well… that's… crap!”

“You’re having the Traitor Teryn as the Herald’s guard?” Alistair scowled. “I thought you were fond of her.”

Damon rolled his eyes as Loghain bristled. He saw Solas enter the garden out of the corner of his eye as he pointed at Loghain. “You are going to be polite to Alistair because the Herald is fond of him.” He pointed at Alistair. “You are going to be polite to Loghain because he’s literally taken a demon claw through the chest to save her and was willing to face down a Nightmare demon to get her to safety, so at this point I’m feeling pretty fond of him.” 

Loghain smothered a startled expression but Alistair made a face. “Isn’t he…” He trailed off and blushed.

“A little older than the rest of his collection? Yes.” Loghain said dryly. 

“The Inquisitor does love variety.” Solas smirked as he fell into place beside Damon, who was having a hard time not choking on his own laughter. The rumor that he was sleeping with everyone in the inner circle was hilarious and he was going to enjoy it as long as he could. 

Emma looked between them all with a furrow between her eyebrows, but shrugged when the joke went over her head. 

Damon grinned and clapped his hand on Solas’ shoulder, effectively trapping him without him resorting to a scuffle. “Now that ya’ll are playing nice, now we celebrate!”

Emma laughed and a shifty glint showed up in her eyes as Damon started pushing Solas towards the garden exit, the cubs bouncing around his feet excitedly. He would bet his britches that Loghain was about to get his first taste of his new job as her guard. She smiled and fell into step behind Loghain, who had automatically fallen a step behind Damon and to the right. He probably didn't even realize he had done it, that he had fallen into his usual position behind a king.

Solas had a slightly amused but longsuffering expression as he allowed Damon to guide him out of the garden and through the main hall. “Must we?”

“Yup! Not everyday you get that kind of news!”

Loghain glanced at him sharply and then slightly turned to look at Emma. The man came to a complete halt and turned around. “Where did she go?”


	59. Chapter 59

Emma waited until they were in the Main Hall before she slipped away from the others and headed for mage’s tower. It was easy enough to just… walk away into the bustle of people without being noticed. She wanted to check on Felix and she doubted that having a glowering Loghain over her shoulder would make that any easier. Why did Damon think she needed a babysitter anyway? She was perfectly capable of taking care of herself!

She huffed irritably as she climbed the stairs and Gaelathe patted her face with a slobbery hand. She kissed the top of his head and wiped her cheek on her shoulder as she knocked on the door to the main room of the mage’s tower before slipping in. She smiled at a nearby mage, who was gaping at her. 

“Hi! Do you know where Felix Alexius is?”

The mage closed his mouth and pointed to an open doorway further down. “In the library, my lady. I mean, your worship, I mean- ser?” He looked incredibly flustered. 

“Thanks!” She waved him off before he could start apologizing and headed to the library. She’d never get used to people treating her as somebody important. She rapped lightly on the doorframe to the library and walked in, smiling when she saw Felix and Fiona. 

“Hello! How are you feeling?”

“Better, Lady Herald. I haven’t felt this strong in months.” Felix bowed slightly.

“That’s great!” Her smile faltered when Alexius stepped out from behind a bookshelf with his arms full of books and his eyes on a rather long list in his hand. A very bored guard followed him.

“I know you claim that the Inquisitor will approve my request for more research material, but as lacking as your library is, I find myself doubtful he would be willing to spend a small fortune on books of theoretical magics.” He looked up and faltered at the sight of her. “Oh. Lady Herald, forgive me, I did not know you were visiting today.” 

She shifted Gaelathe on her hip nervously. She didn’t really want to be around him, didn’t want Gaelathe around him. “I, uh, just dropped by to check on how Felix was doing. I can- I’ll be going.” 

She turned and groaned when a glowering Loghain appeared through the doorway.  He crossed his arms and moved towards her. “Are you going to do that often?”

“Do what often?” She tried to give him her best innocent look. This was going to get annoying fast.

“Sneak away like some errant child.” Loghain growled, stepping closer to her to glare down at her. “Need I remind you of the dangers someone-”

“I’m in Skyhold! I’m fine!” She cut him off and let her head fall back in exasperation. “I don’t need a guard to visit Felix!”

Loghain shot a narrow glance at Fiona before focusing back on her. “Felix?”

“Oh, right. Polite stuff.” She gestured at each person as she named them. “This is Grand Enchantress Fiona, Gereon Alexius, and Felix Alexius. Everyone, this is Loghain Mac Tir, apparently my new guard.”

“Gereon Alexius.” Loghain said flatly. “The man who tried to assassinate you and bring about the end of the world. You ran away from your personal guard to visit-” He ran his hand over his face. 

Alexius glanced between the two of them with barely hidden amusement. “Ah. Well, while I have you here, I was wondering if I might be devious and pass a request to the Inquisitor through you?”

Emma narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. “What kind of request?”

He offered her the paper with a flourish, but Loghain took it from him before she could. He looked at the paper as if it could possibly hold a trap before handing it over to her. 

“Oh look a piece of paper, soooo dangerous.” She grumbled under her breath and shifted Gaelathe’s weight on her hip. Annoying. Fast. The paper was a list of book titles and subject matters, a lot of which she didn't recognize. She frowned up at him. “Why do you need me to ask him for books?”

“There are quite a few, quite expensive.” 

“They’re books.” Emma shrugged and handed the paper back to him. “Damon’s going to approve books without even thinking twice about it. Education and knowledge are important.”

Alexius gave a slight twist of his mouth that made her think he didn’t believe her.

“Look, he’s going to approve that, but if you’re wanting brownie points, set up a free adult literacy class or something.” She shrugged. 

“Brownie points?” Felix laughed

Loghain sighed. “It means a general sense of approval.”

Emma’s felt her eyebrows ride up at that as she looked at Loghain, who shrugged slightly. “I apparently have collected ‘all of the brownie points’.” 

Emma shook her head, “I didn’t realize you spent that much time around Damon.” She mumbled before looking back at Felix. “So, no more cold sweats, or fevers? Dizzy spells?”

Felix grinned and shook his head. “Not for a couple of weeks now. Enchanter Fiona compared my blood to the last sample and it looks… healthy again.”

Emma was so excited at this news she barely contained a little dance but settled for a large grin. “Did you test the new sample against the Darkspawn blood to see if your immunity carried over to Felix?” She asked turning to Fiona excitedly.

Fiona’s eyes grew wide. “I… I confess that had not occurred to me.”

She couldn’t help a slight bounce on her heels. “Would you mind meeting up with me in the Underforge, not today because I think Damon has plans, but maybe tomorrow or something, so we can test that? I’d love to figure out if the immunity is transferable and also maybe begin working on a cure that doesn’t require transfusions?” 

“Yes, of course.” Felix smiled and reached over to tickle Gaelathe’s feet, earning him slobbery grin. He gave his father a sly glance. “And I think that a free adult literacy class would be an excellent idea.”

Alexius gave a sneer, but it looked fake even to her. Fiona gave Emma a level look. “Speaking of classes, I believe you knew exactly what you were doing when you asked me for that favor.”

Emma bit her lip and smiled hopefully. “But you’re glad I did, right?”

Fiona hesitated. “It… The classes are pleasant, if unorthodox. I find myself enjoying them.”

Emma’s grin widened at the softness in her tone. “I’m glad.” She turned around to find Loghain looking a bit pale as he stared at Felix, who was still playing with Gaelathe’s feet and making faces at the baby. “You ok?”

Loghain looked at her and narrowed his eyes. “I thought perhaps they were exaggerating… You seemed incapable getting dressed without help.”

Emma glared at him. “Well if the fashion designers didn’t make women’s shirts with laces in the back I wouldn’t need help!” She huffed. “Seriously, why is it so hard for you to believe that I might actually know what I'm doing?” She held up her hand when Loghain held up his fingers as if to start counting on them. “Don’t answer that.” 

Alexius looked almost gleeful as he glanced between her and him. “Ah, trying to prove they can succeed on their own. I never had a daughter but I believe the same principle applies as with sons.”

Emma frowned at him but Loghain abruptly took a step back. “She is not my daughter.”

Wait, what?! She gaped, “I…. you thought…? No… nope. Absolutely no!” She glared up at Loghain pointed at him. “Your fault.”

Loghain looked down at the finger nearly poking his chest as if it were an offense. “Pray tell, what is ‘my fault?”

“You and your, overprotective, disapproving, hovering.” She whispered. “Ten minutes and someone already thought you were my father. Why aren’t you shadowing Damon? He’s the one who brought you home!”

Loghain scowled, or rather hadn’t stopped scowling, so it only intensified. “The Inquisitor is ‘shadowed’ by a Seeker already.”

Alexius’ eyebrow raised but he smiled as if he hadn’t been this entertained in weeks. “The Inquisitor brought you home? You’re a bit…”

“Older than the rest, I know.” Loghain sighed and closed his eyes, tilting his face up at the ceiling as if he had heard the comment a dozen times already. 

She took advantage of his eyes being off of her for a moment by slipping behind a bookshelf and walking silently along the wall to the corner. She heard Loghain curse softly. “Where did she go?”

For a moment, she thought the others would simply point her out and pretended to look at the book titles to look casual, but then she heard the sound of his boots heading out the door. 

She poked her head around the corner to find them all grinning at her. Alexius actually chuckled and shook his head. “I believe, your worship, you and your ‘bodyguard’ shall be very entertaining.”

She rolled her eyes but laughed lightly. “Glad you all enjoyed that.” Then gave them each a smile. “Thanks for not ratting me out.”

“The entertainment value is too high to ‘rat you out’.” Felix laughed. “Go, before he circles back.”

She signed thank you to them and headed for the exit. She walked down the back stairs and across the battlements before heading down into the main castle. She dropped Gaelathe off with Orana. The next person she wanted to visit wasn’t in a spot that she was comfortable taking a baby. She waved at several servants and soldiers that she recognized as she headed down towards the dungeons. With Damon and Solas distracted, she might actually get to talk to Thom now. 

The guard at the door that led down to the dungeons, Matthias, smiled brightly when she approached. “Lady Herald! It’s good to see you. I was afraid I wouldn’t get to say hello when I was assigned down here.”

“Hey, Matthias. Is it okay if I go in? I wanted to visit Rainier.” 

Matthias hesitated, glancing up the hallway guiltily before nodding. “Yeah. Just don’t tell the Commander I did.”

“Of course not.” She grinned at him and slipped through the doorway, coming to an abrupt halt when she found Loghain leaning against the wall with his arms crossed and a dark scowl on his face. “Dang it, how’d you know where I’d be?”

He uncrossed his arms and rested a hand on the hilt of his sword. “You visited your ‘guest’, you visited the Grand Enchantress, and you visited Ser Felix. I guessed that Rainier might be next on your list. Now, will you  _ please _ stop running off?”

 She stomped down the stairs. “I don’t need a babysitter! I can fight, I have magic, I’m in freaking Skyhold!”

He fell into step behind her on her left side. “My duty is to protect you and I cannot do that if you keep disappearing the second I take my eyes off of you.” 

“There will be words.” She muttered. Damon let this happen. 

“Ahh! The grand Herald herself! Tell me, how is that stomach of yours?” Erimond leaned against the bars of his cell with a leer. 

Emma ignored him, feeling grateful despite herself when Loghain moved between her and Erimond. She had forgotten he would be down here. Fortunately, Thom’s cell was far enough down the hallway that Erimond was out of sight and out of earshot unless one of them started shouting. Thom was sitting on the floor with his back to the stone wall in the same position she remembered from the game. 

He startled when she came into view and clumsily stood to his feet. “Lady Herald! I did not think to see you here.”

“Are we really back to titles? I had barely gotten you to downgrade to ‘Lady Emma’.” Emma put on a smile for him, though it made her chest hurt to see him like this.

“I fear I never had that right, Lady Herald.” Thom couldn’t seem to meet her eyes, instead looking over her shoulder at Loghain. 

She frowned and stepped forward, shaking Loghain’s hand off impatiently when he tried to hold her back. “Thom. I knew when I told you to just call me Emma.”

Rainier finally looked at her, studying her with weary eyes before sighing. “Lady Herald… I have seen you perform miracles and your prophecies come true. You and the Inquisitor have walked in the Fade not once, but twice. I… I am having difficulty weighing my own guilt and desire for justice against your belief that I can do better. Who am I to decide that my own feelings hold more weight than your declarations that I can do better? Please, tell me-” He looked away. “Tell me what I am.”

Emma reached out and touched his arm through the bars, ignoring Loghain’s frustrated grunt. “I’m not a chosen one or anything holy, but I believe you’re a man who’s made mistakes, but will spend the rest of his life trying to atone for them. I believe that makes you a man worth saving.”

Thom closed his eyes and let out a long breath. “But ultimately, it is not your choice.”

Emma bit her lip and pulled her hand back. “No, but I’ve done what I could.” She blinked tears away and suddenly realized who the wolf belonged to. She dug through her pockets and found the half carved wolf, turning it over in her hands before pushing it through the bars. 

Thom took it and huffed. “I was… I was making a toy for Gaelathe. I know the Inquisitor and you are fond of wolves.”

“Thank you. I… I hope you get to finish it.” She started to reach for him again but Loghain grabbed her shoulder this time and pulled her back.

 “Enough. You risk yourself too much.” 

Rainier looked at Loghain before giving her the smallest of smiles. “Try not to make his job too hard. It’s good you have people to keep you safe.” 

She grinned, though it felt a bit wavery. “I’ve already lost him twice.” 

Thom chuckled and she felt pleased she had managed to bring him a little brightness. Brightness. She glanced around the dismal dungeon area and gathered up a bit of her magic into a mage light. She turned to the wall opposite Thom’s cell door and stretched up on tiptoe, trying to reach up on the wall high enough that it wouldn’t cast weird shadows. She tapped it onto the stone and was pleased when it stuck there, casting soft silver light into Thom’s cell and down the hallway. 

“There. A bit of light so you’re not alone in the dark while we wait.” 

“Thank you, my lady.” Thom said quietly.

Loghain practically dragged her out of the dungeons and she waved cheerily at Matthias, who looked like he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or go help her. Loghain let go of her arm once they were back in the main hall. She sighed and looked around. Varric wasn’t in his usual spot. She needed to get to Sera’s room. Alone and while she knew Sera was in the underforge. She chewed her lip while she thought up a plan. She smiled when one occurred to her. “Come on. I want to visit the stables.”

Loghain eyed her suspiciously. “Am I supposed to believe you are suddenly going to be reasonable?”

“Nope. Keep up.” She grinned and began skipping towards the entrance. 

He followed her down the stairs, through the courtyard, and to the stables. She went in and let her hand trail over Thom’s wood carving space as she looked around. She came to an abrupt halt when she saw a pure black drasolisk standing in a stall. “Uh. Master Dennet? What’s that doing here? I know we didn’t order one.”

The man eyed it uneasily. “It’s a gift from Arl Teagan, as a thank you for saving his land or some such nonsense.” Dennet grumbled. “They thought the Inquisitor would ‘appreciate’ it.” 

“Oh no.” She put her hands on her face in preemptive horror. “He’s going to love it.”

“If that means it’s out being ridden instead of sitting here spooking my horses, I’m glad of it.” 

The drasolisk uttered a trilling growl and chewed on the stall post with needle sharp teeth. 

Dennet sighed. “I can’t get it to stop doing that.”

Emma shuddered, this had to be the one thing besides darkspawn that actually gave her the creeps in the whole of the Dragon Age universe . “Give it some cow bones?”

The man blinked and then shrugged. “Worth a try. Thank you. I’m not… real well versed in carnivore keeping.” 

Emma looked at the Drasolisk and shivered again when it turned coal black eyes onto her. “Nope.” She started climbing up the ladder to the loft. “Keep up if you must, Loghain.” She heard the creak of the wood beneath her and grinned when it was much slower than hers. That heavy armor on top of the fact that he was almost twice her size would slow him down. She made it to the loft and began climbing up the hay bales, and then to the hatch in the roof. She opened it and climbed onto the roof, enjoying Loghain’s sudden curse as she closed it behind her.

After that, it was a simple matter of scaling up the jagged stones along the wall being repaired and up to the battlements. She broke into a giddy run along the top of the wall, racing through Cullen’s office and waving when he looked up from his desk in shock, and then to the tavern attic. She slowed to a sneaky pace and slipped past Cole with a grin. 

He must have read her intent because he grabbed her wrists with his surprisingly strong hands and helped her climb over the bannister and then swing her onto the floor in front of Sera’s room with nobody the wiser. 

  
  


Damon was having a blast celebrating with Solas. Zevran, Bull, and Hawke had joined him and had helped him convince Solas to actually down some of the Qunari liquor with them, enjoying how his face twisted up in disgust. They had just reached the pleasant fuzzy stage of drinking when Damon looked up to see Emma strolling into the drinking area with a smug look on her face and a dark blanket under her arm. “EmTi! You giving Loghain the run for his money already?” 

She rolled her eyes and set the blanket down in the empty chair next to Solas before she huffed and crossed her arms, “People think he's my father.”

Damon burst into giggles and pointed at Solas, who was staring into the bottom of his cup with distaste. “I mean, you do like them a bit older than you.”

Something that sounded suspiciously like a giggle came from Solas, shocking Emma out of whatever she was going to say. She squinted and looked at them with a curious look. “Are you… drunk?”

“I’m not drunk.” Solas said very seriously, but with a  slight slu rring lisp. 

“You giggled.” 

Solas frowned at her. “I did not ‘giggle’.”

Emma blinked at him for a second before waving a hand in front of his face and peering closely at his eye movements. “OMG! You are drunk.” She giggled, covering her mouth.

Solas frowned before snatching her hand and tugging her down into his lap, somehow still making it look graceful in his inebriated state. “And if I am? Are we not supposed to be celebrating?” One hand come around to lay against her belly as he nuzzled his face into her neck, Emma’s face turning a bright shade of crimson.

Damon grinned at the cute picture they made a nd looked up at the tavern attic. “Hey, Cole, will you go fetch the Commander? Tell him I’ll send Zevran after him if he don’t show. And then get down here. I wanna teach you cards.” 

He felt a faint bit of static that made the hair on his arms raise up and figured that meant Cole had popped over to get Cullen. Bull shook his head. “You still haven’t told us what we’re celebrating!”

“We will wait for everyone… everyone to get here.” Solas mumbled into Emma’s neck. 

“Aw, Blot! Did you start without us?” Varric asked as he sauntered up the stairs with Josephine, Leliana, and Cassandra in tow.

“Just warming up. Had to learn how to play real quick!” Damon laughed and leaned back in his chair.

Zevran gathered up the cards on the table with a smirk and Cassandra moved to sit beside Damon. Damon kissed her and pretended to lose his balance when she shoved him away with a smile. Hawke narrowed her eyes. “If you’ve never played before, how are you winning all of my money?”

“He’s pretty good at picking games like this up.” Emma mumbled, squirming in Solas’ hold and trying to slip into the seat beside him. “Never play Blackjack with him.”

“Stay.” Solas growled, pulling her back down firmly in his lap. Damon couldn’t help but laugh at Emma's shocked face and indignant huff before Solas cut off whatever she was about to say. He said something in elvhen that Damon couldn’t translate.

Emma squinted at him and then rolled her eyes in exasperation, “That’s not even a thing.”

Oh boy. Damon chuckled shaking his head. Solas was going to be driving her crazy for the next nine months. He leaned back in his chair and wrapped an arm around Cassandra's shoulder, smiling contently when she leaned into it.

Dorian sauntered in, followed by a constipated looking Cullen. The mage moved to take the seat next to Emma and Solas, but before he could sit, Emma snatched the blanket she had brought away so he wouldn’t sit on it.

Dorian quirked an eyebrow at her questioningly. “Why, pray tell, did you bring a blanket?”

Emma shrugged her shoulders but there was a grin on her face. “I believe in coming prepared.”

“Prepared for what, Princess?” Varric asked with an amused tone as he shuffled the cards.

Emma didn’t answer but judging by her large grin and Solas’ non-giggle giggle, this promised to be an interesting night. Things only got better when a scowling Loghain entered with straw sticking out of his left chin guard. His eyes landed on Emma, who bit her lip to keep from laughing, before he turned to Damon. “You did warn me.” 

Damon laughed and shook his head. “How many times did she lose you?”

Loghain clenched his jaw and glared at her while Emma smirked. “Three times.” 

To everyone's surprise, Vivianne showed up too, although she declined being dealt a hand, instead favoring watching while sipping a glass of red wine. Finally, Sera appeared, being the last one they needed, Damon almost choked on his drink at the sight of her hair. It was nearly a bright neon green with small streaks of blonde. So that’s what Emma had been doing!

Cole popped into the space beside Loghain and pulled the straw from his armor, startling the man. “She plays with you because she feels safe.” 

Dorian pursed his lips at Sera. “Did you do something different with your hair?”

Bull snickered when Sera ran a hand through her hair with a frown. “Wot? Did I leave an arrow innit or somethin?”

“It’s very… unique, dear.” Vivienne said over the brim of her wine glass. 

Hawke laughed brightly. “It’s green!”

Sera tried to drag a piece of her cropped hair in front of her face, but it was too short. With an exasperated look she stomped over to Loghain and peered at his chest plate, turning her head to catch sight of her hair in the carefully polished surface. He scowled at her but she whirled away before he could shove her away. 

“It’s green! Why’s it green?!”

Emma smirked and leaned back against Solas’ chest. “Lizards.”

“You sneaky shite! Good on you!” Sera cackled. 

Damon looked around and smiled to see most everyone there. He glanced at Emma and quirked an eyebrow, asking her if she wanted to announce it or not. Emma shrugged and nodded, so he stood up and grinned. “So, while I have you all here, Emma and I have an announcement to make. We’re gonna be parents.” 

A cup bounced off of his horn and he gave a mock affronted look to Solas, who was glaring at him. “Do not lay claim to my children!”

He held up his hands in surrender. “All right, the twins are yours but the triplets are mine.” He gestured at the cubs curled up asleep in the corner. 

Josephine made a pained noise, but Lelieana had an amused smile as she studied them.

Solas opened his mouth, no doubt to argue but Bull’s eye widened. “Wait! Lil’Bit’s knocked up?”

Emma nodded, smiling widely. “Apparently with twins.” 

Sera slumped and banged her head against the table and Cole winced. “That is not nice.”

Cassandra sat up straight with her eyes sparkling. “You are with child! I will be an aunt, then?” 

Damon grinned and kissed the side of her head. “Yup! They’re gonna have the most badass Aunt Cass ever.” 

Loghain paled and turned his horrified gaze on Emma. “You jumped from the stable roof in your condition?”

Damon saw Solas tense and his arms tighten around her. “Nobody likes a tattle tale, Loghain, and I didn’t jump from the roof.” She defended herself, scowling back at Loghain. “I climbed the wall next to it. There were plenty of hand and footholds. There was no jumping involved.”

“So you climbed the stable roof and then the walls, while carrying two buns in the oven?” Varric chuckled. “Oh, Princess, you’re going to give us all grey hair.” 

“The ladder, the loft, the hay bales, up across the roof, up the wall, and then I had to run across the battlements, through Cullen’s office, and down into the tavern.” Emma stuck her tongue out at Loghain. “Because someone wouldn’t leave me alone. But it’s nothing I haven’t done before. The walls are sturdier than the vines in the garden.” 

“Did you just… stick your tongue out at me?” Loghain raised an unimpressed eyebrow at her.

Solas gave a pained noise and leaned his head back to look at the ceiling. “Must I keep you locked away for the duration of your pregnancy, Emma’lath?”

Emma twisted to glare at him. “Don’t even think about it! Anyway, exercise is important for pregnant women. It helps the labor go easier.”

Loghain put his face in his hand and directed a resigned mutter at Damon. “You did tell me to look up. I thought she had slid down to the ground because I did not figure her foolish enough to climb so high.” 

Zevran glanced between Emma and Solas. “I believe I must start thinking creatively for your future training, Stella.” Solas glared at him and Zevran chuckled. “Exercise is good for both mother and children, my friend.”

Hawke looked a little queasy, but she leaned forward and looked Emma in the eyes. “If you need help, let me know.” She gave a significant glance towards Vivienne and Damon immediately realized she was offering to protect the kids from the circles.

He nodded at her sharply. “Thank you.” 

“Both of you are…” Vivianne paused, eyeing the two carefully before continuing delicately. “Gifted mages. Have you given thought to the… possibility of them inheriting your… gifts?”

Damon snorted and poured another drink for Solas and a glass of water for Emma. “If both of them don’ pop out with magic in their toes I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.” 

Solas frowned at the enchanter. “You need not be concerned, Madame De Fer. I will ensure my children's education, should that be the case.”

Vivienne sniffed but glanced at Damon and subsided. “I would be happy to assist with training them in their abilities if they manifest.”

Damon laid his hand flat on the table in a signal to settle down when Emma bristled, and she let out a breath and put on a smile. “Thank you for your offer, Vivienne. Now. Who’s dealing?” 

Damon gestured at Zevran, who began shuffling the cards, before looking over at Loghain. “You gonna join in?”

“No.” He stood and moved to lean against the wall behind Emma with his arms crossed.

Zevran dealt and the games began, along with copious amounts of alcohol. Sera hadn’t lasted three hands before she passed out under the table. Even Vivienne seemed to relax after a while, reclining in her chair and watching them with amused eyes as they shared embarrassing stories and Damon and Josephine cleared out everyone of their cash, sans Solas, who despite being ‘notdrunk’ seemed to break even most hands. Damon guessed he could easily clean them all out but was still trying to lay low. He also figured pretty quickly to just not take a bet with the Ambassador. Her tells were… invisible even after a bottle of wine. 

Hawke was growing more and more agitated as her coin pile grew smaller and smaller, and Damon would put money on it being frustration on her not being able to win against him even though Varric was passing her cards under the table. Cole would look at them indignantly when they did though, so Damon always knew when to bow out. 

After a few hands had gone by, Josephine won yet another pot, which he thankfully hadn’t bet too much on. Cullen, who had finally relaxed, chuckled. “Deal again, I’ve finally figured out your tells, Ambassador.”

“A lady has no tells.” Josephine purred sweetly at the commander.

Oh boy. Damon hid a grin behind his cards as he saw Emma whisper something into Solas’ ear, causing the mage to smirk and fold his cards. The Commander was about to get owned. Damon took a drink and pushed part of his winnings forward to match her bet. He was gonna lose it, but he wanted to see what was about to happen. The rest of the group must have seen Emma whispering because they all folded, leaving a nervous but determined Cullen to match the bet. 

Josephine won. 

Josephine won and quite smugly said she would allow him to try and win back his coin, but only on one condition. He had to bet his clothing. Damon watched delightedly and held up his hands. “Deal me out till next round.” He suddenly knew why Emma had brought the blanket and he wanted to enjoy this fully. 

“Don’t do it, Curly.” Varric muttered under his breath, but Cullen seemed determined.

Predictably, Josie won again, completely crushing Cullen's hand, and held out her hand with the most innocently sweet smile. 

Cullen’s face paled and then flushed bright red. Had to hand it to the dude though, he stuck to his deals. He stood up and began stripping out of his armor and woah the blush went down much further than his neck. Damon politely looked away before he found out just how far though, but turned his head back with a wolfish grin when he heard Cullen sit down and curse under his breath. 

“Woof.” 

Cullen looked away and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Never bet against an Antivan.”

Cullen glared at Varric, who was failing to hold in his laughter. “Not a word, Dwarf.”

“I tried to warn you, Curly.”

“Shut up.” 

“Ow.” Emma jumped slightly, her hand going to rub her arm as she cast a glare over her shoulder at Solas.

Damon wiggled his eyebrows at Solas. “Attraction ain’t action, dearie. Let her look while she can.”

“She’s looked often enough.” Solas said petulantly.  

Damon widened his eyes in delight before cackling. “Him too?!”

Cullen’s face and neck and chest got impossibly redder and he covered his face with his hand. “Maker help me.” 

“It’s okay. She may have seen your bits, but Dorian’s touched her magically.” Bull rumbled. 

Dorian slapped the table indignantly. “It was a diagnostic… thing!” 

“Oh! That’s how you knew he was straight!” Damon narrowed his eyes at her. “How many at this table have you seen au natural?” 

Cullen choked. “What?” 

“Easier to ask who she has not.” Solas grumbled before taking a large pull from his tankard. 

Loghain stifled a laugh and shared an amused glance with Leliana. 

Varric looked around the table thoughtfully. “Interesting…”

Vivienne arched an eyebrow. “Exactly how detailed are your… visions?”

Emma opened her mouth but jumped with another yelp and glared at Solas. “Stop that. Deal another hand before he bruises me.”

“As you wish, la mia- ow!” Zevran looked at Solas with offense as the tankard that had bounced off his shoulder rolled on the table. “You are an unpleasant drunk.”

He dealt and immediately half the table bowed out, leaving Damon and Hawke glaring playfully at each other over their cards. Finally, Hawke gave a devious smile and leaned forward over her cards. “Alright, ‘quisitor. I bet a dare.”

Damon considered that, alcohol sloshing pleasantly through his brain. Cole hadn’t given her a look, so no card passing this round and he had an excellent hand. “I’ll take it.” He showed his cards with a triumphant smile that quickly faded when Hawke played the Death card. “Ah, shit.” 

Hawke cackled. “Okay, okay, I dare you- I dare you to kiss Zevran!”

Zevran sat up in interest. “I like the sound of this!”

Damon blinked and glanced at Cassandra, who shrugged with a drunken smirk. “A dare is a dare!”

He laughed and looked over at Leliana for the second half of the permission needed. “S’okay if I do?”

“Wait, why are you asking her?” Dorian lifted his head out of his hand with the sparkle in his eyes that good gossip brought out. 

Damon searched his slightly sloshy brain for a good excuse because… reasons? Secret reasons. “Secrets. She’s gotta, y’know, handle the rumors and shit.”

Dorian accepted that with a disappointed nod and Leliana smirked. “For that, I’ll allow it.” 

Damon grinned and reached over the table and grabbed Zevran by the front of his shirt and hauled him over and into his lap. Zevran somehow managed to straddle him gracefully despite the amount of mutually consumed alcohol and grabbed his face with a delighted grin. “You should lose more often!”

Damon opened his mouth to retort, but the elf took the opportunity to press his tongue into his mouth in one hell of a kiss that Damon wasted no time in returning with enthusiasm. He could hear Bull and a few others catcalling and as he twisted his fingers into Zevran’s hair to guide him to a better angle he would have sworn he heard Leliana cheering. He gave himself ten more seconds of fantastic making out with the blonde before he grabbed him by the ass and hefted him off of his lap and onto the table, breaking off the kiss and leaving Zevran breathless and a bit glassy eyed. 

“Well! That-” Zevran licked his kiss swollen lips and sprawled back onto the table like he was swooning. Josephine was fanning herself with her cards, a blush creeping up her neck and face even though she did not look away once. Cullen was staring at the ceiling, also a fascinating shade of red.

“Yeah, you too, Honey.” Damon laughed and turned to pull a very flushed Cassandra onto his lap, making her emit a squealing noise she would deny making to the fade and back. He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his mouth to hers, again to cheers and catcalls. 

Cassandra pulled away and pressed her forehead to him so she could giggle when Emma loudly proclaimed, “Oh my goodness! Birds of a feather! Crows and Nightingales! That’s why you asked her!”

Zevran placed his hand over his face and laid flat on the table. “Observant as always, la mia stella.” 

Damon shook his head fondly. “With that, I think we should all head to bed before it turns en ess eff double-u.”

Emma snickered as people stood up and began collecting their winnings. She grabbed the blanket she had brought and set it on the table in front of Cullen.

“Thank you, Lady-” His relieved look turned to utter betrayal. “You knew! You knew and you did not warn me!”

Emma winked and then flinched when Solas pinched her again. “Ow!”


	60. Chapter 60

Damon. Damon did not want to be awake right now. His head was pounding, his mouth tasted worse than ass, and his stomach was considering vacating through his esophagus. He groaned and rolled over, trying to get away from the doggy breath of the pups licking his face, grimacing when he realized he had managed to fall asleep on the floor instead of on the bed. Cass’ legs were hanging off of the bed so at least she made it that far. 

He poured himself a glass of water from the pitcher by his bed and forced himself to drain it, then refilled it and set it by the bed where Cass could find it when she woke up. He set another bowl of water on the floor for the cubs. His stomach lurched at the introduction of non alcoholic fluids and he staggered towards his balcony. Hopefully the fresh air would help his stomach, and if not, it was better to hurl over the railing than on the floor. 

He leaned against the railing and groaned when the dim sunlight made his head protest violently. He had been feeling off since that stint in the fade and the hangover was just making it worse. He stayed there for a minute, breathing evenly, until the weirdest sound made him pick his head up. It almost sounded… like a sheep? He heard it again and looked around for the source of the sound. The sheep sounded distressed and then suddenly did not. 

There was a knock at the door and he turned away from the puzzle to go answer it. He dragged himself to the door and grimaced when a bouncing Emma greeted him and pushed her way past him. “You’re gonna love this!”

He winced at the chipper volume of her voice and closed the door. “First… Can you hit me with that…” He wiggled his fingers in front of his forehead.

“I should let you suffer,” She snickered before her eyes lit silver and she stood on tiptoe to press a hand to his forehead. There was a cold, electric buzz through his body and suddenly he felt much, much better. If a bit hungry.

“Thank you. If I could bottle that up we’d be rich.” He smiled at her. 

She snorted and rolled her eyes. “Now, c’mon! You’ll think this is hilarious!”

“Does it have anything to do with the distressed sheep noises?” 

“Yup!” She giggled

“Lead on, oh morning person.” Damon bowed extravagantly. “To the hilarious source of distressed sheep noises.”

Emma snorted, “It’s past nine, Damon.” 

He grimaced. “Ah shoot. I was supposed to meet with Josephine about something this morning.” 

Emma laughed. “I wouldn’t worry about it… Josie hasn’t even been out of bed yet. Nobody has yet.”

“Not even Cullen?” Damon raised his eyebrows and then looked down to see Hel tumble into place beside his feet. “How’d you get down here so fast?” 

The cub sneezed and looked back to where Fenrir and Jormungandr were slowly taking each step one at a time. He shrugged and looked back at Emma. “If nobody is up yet, wanna get breakfast before I get pulled into work?” 

Emma nodded as she reached for the door and pulled it open, only to walk into an armored chest. “Seriously!?”

“You were supposed to wait for me to accompany you.” Loghan glared down at her.

Emma turned to march back into Damon’s room but he caught her by the waist and turned her back around. “You are not scaling the scaffolding before breakfast.” Damon grinned at Loghain. “You might want to get some lighter armor.” 

“I’ve already put in the request with your smith.”

Emma wrinkled her nose but let Damon guide her towards the main hall. “Wanna join us for breakfast? I got an in with the kitchen staff.” 

“If she will stay still enough for us to eat, then yes.” Loghain said dryly.

Damon laughed and looped his arm over Emma’s shoulder. “I got her. Let’s go see if Ilaan figured out how to make those breakfast burritos I taught her.” 

“Traitor.” Emma muttered. 

Loghain stiffened, but Damon laughed. “I’m just tryin’ to keep you safe, EmTi.”

Emma stuck her tongue out at him and Damon saw Loghain relax when he realized she wasn’t talking to him. Ilaan had not figured out the breakfast burritos and they chatted about the process of making tortillas while they ate pancakes with strawberries and honey. She even didn’t make a fuss about the pups sitting on his legs and eating the scraps of bacon he handed them. Damon caught sight of a runner looking around the kitchens and winced, shoving a pancake into his mouth and scooting back under the table. Emma gave him an evil smile before waving the runner over. “He’s over here!”

“What did I do to you?”

Emma gestured at Loghain with both hands and the man gave her a flat look. Damon sighed and scooted out from under the table as the runner made his way over. He poured a glass of milk and pressed it into Emma’s hands. She had only picked at her breakfast and he wanted at least a few calories in her. 

“Ser, the Ambassador asks if you would join her in the war room.” 

And so it begins. “I’ll be right there. “ He sighed and stuck his tongue out at Emma before following the very amused runner out of the kitchens, cubs bouncing around his feet. 

“You better make good on those tacos, horsebutt!” Ilaan called after him.

“I’ll send a messenger.” He tossed back. Emma giggled and fell into step beside him. 

“You allow the servants to address you so?” Loghain scowled. 

“Jus’ Ilaan.” D amon shrugged. “An’ if you say anything about me deservin’ respect or whatever I’ll probably laugh at you.” 

Loghain grunted disapprovingly but fell silent as they made their way through the main hall and to the war room. The guy hesitated at the door but followed them in when Damon made no indication he expected him to stay outside. Inside, Damon looked over the Councilors with amusement. Leliana looked as put together as ever, no sign at all of a hangover. In fact, Damon couldn’t remember if she actually had drank anything last night. Josephine was trying to look put together, but she had dark circles under her eyes and had a pale, sweaty cast to her skin. Solas looked pretty much the same as ever, slightly smug. Cullen… Cullen was just sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. He groaned when Loghain closed the door a touch too loudly.

“Morning, everyone! What’s on the calendar today?” Damon put as much enthusiasm into his voice as he could as he directed the puppies to wait by the door.

“Maker’s breath, how are you so…. Alive?” Cullen near whimpered.

“I got a dose of magic.”

“Oh! I can fix your hangovers!” Emma piped up. “If you want?”

“Yes! Please!” Josephine gasped, setting her clipboard down on the table and advancing on Emma with terrifying intensity. 

Emma laughed and pressed her hands to the Ambassador’s head, lighting up silver. Cullen and Loghain flinched, but Josephine sagged in relief before straightening her skirts and resuming her place at the table. “Thank you, Lady Emma. That is wonderful.” 

“Cullen? I know it makes you uncomfortable, but I can help if you’re okay with it?” Emma asked quietly.

Damon pretended not to watch as she moved to Cullen’s side. He looked up at her in near panic before setting his jaw and nodding sharply. “If you would, Lady Herald.”

“Stop calling me that.” She muttered gently and put a hand on the side of his head. He closed his eyes as she lit up, then relaxed as she magicked away his hangover.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” She smiled and patted his shoulder before moving to Solas’ side and wiggling her fingers in silent command to lean down a bit. He complied and she stood on tiptoe to press a kiss to his forehead.

He smiled and kissed the top of her head when she pulled back. “Emma’lath.” 

Loghain moved to stand against the wall behind Emma, crossing his arms and looking perfectly intimidating. Cullen took his place at the war table and Damon looked around. “Right. Consequences of revelry erased, what’s up?”

Josephine gave him a sympathetic glance and his stomach sank. “I believe it would be best if you… sat in judgment today.”

Damon shuddered and leaned on the table for a second. Not again. And… this time Thom would… he inhaled shakily and stood up straight. “When?”

“We… were going to suggest before lunch, but...” Cullen offered.

“But we all slept late.” Leliana finished.

Damon closed his eyes. “So you want me to do it now.” 

“We can move it to the afternoon.” 

He shook his head. “No. Let’s… get this over with.”  

Emma reached over and rubbed his arm, giving him a small smile. He patted her arm and then gently removed it. He had to be Inquisitor and not Damon for a bit. Cullen gave him a grim smile. “I’ll go get the prisoners prepared.” 

Everything in between was a blur of him breathing and keeping his posture in check while things were put into place around him. He asked Emma to watch the puppies and left them squirming in her arms as he allowed a grumpy Cass to fix his hair for a public appearance. Agonizing minutes later, he was on that cursed throne again and Josephine was stepping forward with her ever present clipboard. “This was a surprise. Shortly after you returned to Skyhold we discovered this man attacking… the building…” Josephine paused to look at him uncertainly before continuing, “with a… goat. Chief Movran the Under. He feels slighted by the killing of his Avvar tribesman. Who attacked you first. What should we do with him. Where should he go?”

“You… answered the death of your son… with a goat?” Damon couldn’t help but be amused despite the pain in his stomach. And judging by the familiar giggle from the crowd, This must have been what Emma had been referring to this morning.

“A courtroom? Unnecessary. You killed my idiot son and I answered, as is my custom, by smacking your holdings with goat’s blood.” The giant man laughed and shrugged.

Damon paused. That sounded pretty cut and dried. “So in your eyes we’re good now?”

“Indeed. I am satisfied.”

He shrugged. “Fair enough for me. He’s free to go.” He paused as an idea struck him, some of the political chatter from Josephine tugging at his memory. “If you wish, Chief Movran, the Inquisition would be happy to call someone with your creativity an ally. I know we would be more than happy to supply weapons and help you and your warriors go north.” 

The Avvar laughed as the guards unchained him. “Indeed! I believe this would benefit the both of us! A wise decision, Inquisitor.” 

“Make it so, Rutheford.” Cullen nodded and Damon stood out of the throne and moved to the chief, holding his arm out like Amond Skywatcher had shown him. They clasped forearms in agreement and Damon reluctantly moved back to the throne as the chief walked off to pick out the promised weapons.

Josephine cleared her throat as the next prisoner was lead in and Damon felt his stomach clench painfully at the sight of Thom being led forward in manacles. “For judgement this day, Inquisitor, I must present Captain Thom Rainier, formerly known to us as Warden Blackwall. His crimes…” Josephine swallowed and took a breath. “Well, you are aware of his crimes. Orlais wished to lay claim to him, but as we discovered and arrested him, they have acknowledged his fate is solely in your hands.”

“I hate to see you like this.” Damon had to struggle to keep his voice from breaking.

Thom looked miserable but also resigned to his fate. “Another regret then. I accept my punishment. I am ready for the lie to end. What becomes of me now?”

Damon had thought long and hard about this on the journey back to Skyhold, and now… He sat up and looked Thom in the eye. “For your crimes, I sentence you to a lifetime of atonement. You will protect and serve the innocent people of Thedas until you have saved a hundred lives for every one you have taken.” 

There was a murmur among the crowd at his words, and Thom looked up at him in shock. “This, for all my transgressions, is your judgement?”

Damon leaned forward, his face set in a stone expression. “I believe you said you accept your punishment. And I say, your punishment is to leave Thedas a better place than you found it. Good luck.” He leaned back in his throne and gestured for the guards to unchain him. The guards barely had the manacles off his wrists before he was nearly bowled over by Emma, with an exasperated Loghain struggling out of the edge of the crowd and heading towards her. Thom raised his arms awkwardly while Emma hugged him and he murmured something that Damon couldn’t catch over the amused whispering of the crowd. 

Loghain glanced at the crowd and slightly shook his head before prying Emma off of Thom and leading them both away from the dias. Josephine smothered a relieved smile before falling serious again. “Adamant’s influence continues, Inquisitor. I submit Lord Livius Erimond of Vyrantium, who remains loyal to Corypheus. We found him alive, offering extreme resistance, likely because the Order will ask for his head. In more... Colorful terms. To say nothing of the personal justice you might personally require for what was suffered in the fade.” 

“I recognize none of this proceeding. You have no authority to judge me. You or your bastard bitch of a Herald.” Erimond sneered in Emma’s direction.

“On the contrary. Many officials have communicated that they will defer to the Inquisition on this matter. “Josepine sounded practically smug.

Erimond snorted in disgust. “Because they fear. Not just Corypheus, but Tevinter, rightful ruler of every piece of ground you’ve trod in your pathetic life. I served a living god with power greater than you or your  _ enfeebled _ Herald can imagine. Bring down your blades and free me from the physical. Glory awaits me.”

Damon felt something inside him break as he said the only words he could see, the only outcome he could figure would keep people safe, keep Emma safe. The man was a fanatic, there would be no reforming him. “So be it. I sentence you to death.” 

Emma turned away from Rainier with a gasp and looked at him with a pale face. Damon turned his head away from her and tried not to wonder if that would be the thing that finally make her realize how pathetic he was.

“Petty actions. Truth lies in the next world.” 

Damon looked at Josephine, who indicated that was everything. He stood and walked off of the dias, signalling the end of judgement. He went to retrieve his cubs before the… before the… he went to find his cubs but realized that Emma hadn’t had them with her moments before. He frowned and tried to calm down the sudden lurch of fear in his chest. Look. Where would she have... Oh. An irritated looking Solas appeared in front of him with three squirming puppies in his arms, Hel trying to grab the jawbone in her teeth. 

“I believe these are yours, Inquisitor.” 

“Yes. Thank you.” He took the puppies and petted each one before setting them on the floor and straightening his spine again. “I have to…” He felt bile rise in his throat and swallowed heavily. “I have to finish… my judgement.” 

“You can have another do it. There is such a thing as an executioner.” Solas suggested quietly.

Damon shook his head, a faint ringing in his ears. “No. If... if I'm to have the power to take lives, I can’t let it become just words.” 

Solas nodded, his voice dropping lower so there was no chance of another overhearing. “Do not tarry long or drag it out. End it swiftly and do not look at the crowd.” He paused before pressing something into his hand, a dried leaf. “Embrium, it is bitter and will help divert your senses.”

Damon instinctively balked at the thought of taking something, but made himself accept it anyway. Solas was trying to help, and knowing he had that support made his throat feel a little less tight. “Thank you. Keep Emma out of the courtyard if you can?”

  
  
  
  


Solas had  whispered something to Loghain and then had squeezed her arm when he kissed her and had left for the courtyard. She had tried to follow him, wanting to be there for Damon, but Loghain had quickly placed himself between her and the door. Apparently he was supposed to keep her out of the courtyard for the execution. But Damon was going to need her. So she had huffed and gone to the rotunda and picked up a book. She had climbed up on Solas’ scaffolding, claiming she was going to read, but then had slid down the other side when he leaned against the ladder and dashed out towards the courtyard. 

She headed for the crowd milling around and cursed the sudden surge of nausea she felt. Not now! She saw Damon bolt away from the execution platform and realized the nausea was through their bond. It was his. She heard Loghains’ armored footsteps behind her and tried to turn a sharp corner to throw him off, trying to reach Damon, but tripped over a boot. She screeched as she started to fall, but strong arms caught her and set her back onto her feet. 

“Oh, thank you, I-” she paused when she saw a familiar lyrium pattern on the hands helping her up. She knew those lines. “Fenris?”

The arms suddenly pushed her away and she looked up to see Fenris familiar hook nose and scowl. “Oh my god! Fenris! You’re here! If you weren’t so spiky I’d hug you!”

“Don’t” His scowl grew darker as he glared at her. “How do you know-”

“No time! I have to catch Damon, I’ll find you later!” She turned to run again, but an armored hand grabbed her upper arm. 

“Let me go!” She stomped her foot at Loghain, who was panting and looked absolutely livid. 

“You heard the lady, let her go.” Fenris growled and reached for his sword.

“Wait! He’s my bodyguard.” She waved her free hand at Fenris before things got bloody and then glared at Loghain. “Seriously though, let me go.” 

“So you can run off again? No. And who are you?”

“This is Fenrir. Wait, no, that’s the puppy. Fenris. This is Fenris.” She glanced in the direction that Damon had run. “Look, I’m really happy you’re here, Fenris, but I gotta go find Damon.” 

“The Inquisitor asked we keep you away, Lady Emma.” Loghian didn’t release her.

Emma felt her temper rising. “Because he didn’t want me to see the blood. But my brother is hurting and you  _ will _ release me so I can go to him. NOW.”

Loghain paled and let go of her arm as if she had burned him and Fenris drew his sword halfway from its scabbard. She must be glowing, but she didn’t care. Damon’s nausea and pain were still bleeding through their bond and he needed her. She turned on her heel and then suddenly she was next to the door he had gone through, the hum of the veil letting her know she had fade stepped. Cassandra gave her a relieved look from her position beside the door and she jerked her head to indicate that she go in. 

“He’s inside. I am trying to make sure the crowd does not follow him, or I would go myself.”

Emma nodded and gave Cassandra a quick hug. She opened the door and slipped inside to find herself in a dark stairway. She focused on their link and a light flared up from the corner before suddenly disappearing. She walked over and found Damon curled up in the corner, covered in blood and crying. The evidence of him being sick was nearby and she quickly cast a cleansing spell, removing the vomit and blood as she knelt by him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. 

“Shh. It’s okay. It’s okay.” She murmured as she held him tightly. He was shaking and she felt her own tears rising at how much pain he was in. He tried so hard to protect everyone, protect her, but he was hurting himself doing it.

 “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” He sobbed. 

“Shh. It’s okay.” She pressed a kiss to his head and murmured into his hair. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”

“He- He couldn’t even- couldn’t even fight back.” Damon’s breath was coming faster and he was trembling violently. “I killed him- murdered him.” 

“Shh.” She sat down against the wall and pulled him with her so she could hold him close. “You had no choice. It’s okay.” She remembered what Solas had said about her song after Adamant and started to hum, hoping for the same result.

His shoulders slowly relaxed enough for her to guide his head into her lap. Once he was settled she began to softly sing the lyrics. “Buachaill ón Éirne mé 's bhréagfainn cailín deas óg, Ní iarrfainn bó spré léi tá mé fhéin saibhir go leor 'S liom Corcaigh da mhéid é, dhá thaobh a' ghleanna 's Tír Eoghain 'S mura n-athraí mé béasaí 's mé n' t-oidhr' ar Chontae Mhaigh Eo.” The Gaelic flowed easily. How many times had she sung this song for him in their tree, those cool nights with just the soft breeze and crickets to accompany the song? 

“Come by the hills to the land where fancy is free, And stand where the peaks meet the sky and the loughs meet the sea.” 

Damon’s fingers twisted into the hem of her skirt as he took in a deep, shuddering breath that eased the nausea she felt through their link.

“Where the rivers run clear and the bracken is gold in the sun. And the cares of tomorrow can wait till this day is done.” She slowly undid his braid and finger combed his hair. The trembling is his shoulders had slowed but she could still hear his sobs muffled in her skirt.

“Come by the hills to the land where life is a song. And stand where the birds fill the air with their joy all day long. Where the trees sway in time and even the wind sings in tune. And the cares of tomorrow can wait till this day is done. Come by the hills to the land where legend remains. The stories of old fill our hearts and may yet come again. Where the past has been lost and the future is still to be won. And the cares of tomorrow can wait till this day is done.” She let her voice fall to barely a whisper as she sang the last  few words. “And the cares of tomorrow can wait till this day is done.”

She started petting his hair softly and kept humming until his fingers tightened on her hem and he spoke quietly. “How long until I’m just another monster? I don’t know… I don’t know how much more... “

He shuddered and she shushed him again. “Damon. You will never be just another monster because I will Gibbs slap you the second you started heading that way.”

He gave a choked off laugh and she smiled. His head raised up out of her lap and he looked at the door before dropping his forehead back against her legs. “Cass is arguing with someone. Very quietly.” 

Emma strained to listen, and sure enough, she could hear Cass talking sharply to someone who replied in a deep baritone. “Oh no.”

Damon sighed and sniffled. “Drama?”

“I uh… might have not only run away from Loghain again, but met someone I knew during my escape and may have freaked them out.” 

“More the usual?”

Emma bit her lip, “He may have been a slave in Tevinter… and so has seen the worst mages have to offer?” She didn't mean for it to come out as a question but it did.

Damon let out another weak chuckle. “You lit up, didn’t you? Also, do we need to- to keep Dorian away from them?”

“I may have, and yeah, that would probably be best. Fenris wasn't the typical slave and was actually quite well known in Tevinter so I'm guessing their paths had crossed at least once.”

Damon let out a low whistle. “Oooh boi.” He sniffled again before sitting up and scrubbing at his eyes. “How bad’s my face?” 

Emma looked at him, his dark skin helped hide some of the redness, but his eyes looked a little bloodshot and swollen. “Not as bad as you would expect.”

He inhaled shakily and gave her a wan smile. “Let’s go meet your new wolf boy and interrupt before Cass pulls a sword.” He hesitated before grabbing her in a tight hug. “Thank you, Emma. For… for coming after me.” 

She hugged back as tightly as she could. “Always.” 

He let out a pained noise and stood up, pulling her to her feet along with him. “I’ll hold you to that, Konstantina.” 

Cassandra’s voice suddenly rose enough for them to hear her through the door and down the hall. “He cannot be disturbed right now, so you will have to wait!” 

“You left him alone with a MAGE!?” The growling baritone that could only belong to Fenris rose to match hers.

Damon gasped out a laugh before shaking his head at her as he started walking towards the door. “You have strange tastes, Em. Is he another murderpuppy?”

Emma slapped his arm lightly. “He's not- okay, he is but he's got a heart of gold under all the… spikes.”

There was a long silence on the other side of the door before Solas spoke up loudly. “You do realize some of us have better hearing than you?”

Damon grinned and Emma was glad to see he felt well enough to joke. “I remember, babae’fen. Making sure the fen’lin isn’t a total grinch.” 

“I’m not a child.” Fenris grumbled at the same time Emma groaned. “Please don't call him that.” 

Emma opened the door and, at first, smirked to see Solas and Fenris standing near each other with the cubs arrayed behind Solas’ feet, then winced when she saw a glowering Loghain looking directly at her. “Um… hi!

Solas stepped forward and lightly grabbed her arm. “Emma. Your guard is for your and-” he closed his eyes for a brief second before continuing. “your protection. You must stop leaving him behind.” 

“He was keeping me from Damon!” She felt like stomping her foot but was proud when she resisted that urge. She saw Fenris’ eyes darting between her and Damon warily. “Calm down, he's my brother and he needed a hug, okay.”

“You… fade stepped across Skyhold because he needed a... hug?” Loghain looked caught between angry and impressed.

“Emma’lath! You cannot fade step in your-” Solas ran a hand over his face before he stepped forward and ran a glowing hand from her forehead to her hip. “You cannot fade step.” 

Emma knew she was gaping at him. “Why?”

Damon bumped her shoulder with his fist hard enough to make her stagger sideways. “Cuz it’s probably dangerous. Like goin’ on a roller coaster. Now.” He made a slight bow. “I’m Damon Theron, this…” He put a hand on top of her head and she slapped his arm away. “Is my sister Emma Konstantina. That’s Solas, her husband, this is Cassandra Pentaghaust, my girlfriend, and these are Hel, Fenrir, and Jormungandr, my cubs. That’s Loghain Mac Tir, Emma’s overworked bodyguard. And I’m assuming you’re Fenris the spiky murderpuppy.” 

Fenris glowered at him for that last part. “Inquisitor.” He forced the name out between his teeth. Goodness, he was a lot more intimidating in person.

“Unfortunately.” Damon sighed. “What brings you to Skyhold, Spikes?”

Emma punched him solidly in the kidneys for that. He didn't react outwardly but he stepped around to put Cass between them.

Fenris watched this exchange with narrowed eyes. “I am checking on a friend.”

Damon squinted at him. “The blonde, t he sexy blonde, or the brunette with the perpetually dirty face?”

Fenris actually looked taken aback and Emma hid a giggle behind her hand as he blinked. “Uh… the brunette with the- Hawke. I’m looking for Hawke.”

She felt a flare of jealousy from Solas and looked over to see him putting his hands down from a sign. “Him too?”

She blushed and opened her mouth to defend herself, but Damon interrupted. “She’s in the tavern, probably in the storage room. You, uh, might want to knock and wait for an answer before you go in. She’s most likely got… company.” 

Fenris turned his suspicious glare off of her and turned an angry glare on Damon. “You’d just give her location to any stranger that comes into Skyhold?!”

“No, just the ones that Emma knows or have their names connected to Solas’ hands, which amounts to the same thing.”

Fenris was looking pretty frustrated as he rounded on her. “And how in the hell do you know of me, anyway?”

Cassandra bristled. “She is the Herald of Andraste.”

“Cass…” Emma sighed, prepared to argue with her over it, but Damon held his hand flat towards the ground to ask her to back off. Cass’ faith was important to her. “I've seen things.” 

Fenris studied her for a second before crossing his arms, “You don't look Revini.”

“That’s because I’m not div-” Emma stopped and blinked when what he had said caught up to her brain. “Huh. That’s the first time I’ve gotten that one. I’m not a seer.” 

Damon chuckled. “That is the first time someone other than Bull hasn't jumped on the ‘holy figure’ train.”

Cass made a disgusted noise but said nothing. Emma shrugged. She wasn’t holy or whatever.

“She's a mage.” Fenris said as if that answered everything. She mentally sighed, obviously being with Hawke hadn't helped his opinion of mages.

“Excellent observation. I am not sure any of us realized.” Solas said flatly. She felt annoyance through his aura. 

Fenris glared at Solas then looked back at Damon. “I am assuming you have a ‘watch’ on her, in case she decides to blow up any buildings?”

“Oh. You’re one of  _ those.”  _ Damon grimaced.

Fenris shrugged, “I have seen a single mage slaughter hundreds without batting an eye. All for the ‘cause of freedom’.” Fenris then turned his eyes on Emma. “His eyes glowed too.”

“And Annulments are any different? It may just take longer, but the effect is the same. Hundreds dead, many children.” Solas stepped forward, putting himself between her and Fenris. 

The action was not lost on Fenris, who chuckled darkly and, whoa, it really did give him a creepy effect. “Relax, mage. I'm not going to attack her.” 

“You wouldn't get the chance.” Solas’ voice had dropped dangerously low, and Emma saw Damon tense, his hand raising like he did when he was prepared to grab his ax. Loghain tensed as well, hand going to the hilt of his sword and his eyes never wavering from Fenris’ back.

Fenris’ gaze swept over Solas and looked seemingly unimpressed. “I've made killing your kind my specialty, mage. If you thin-”

“I don't need magic, Da’lin.” Solas’ gave a threatening, feral smile. This was a part of Solas she'd never seen before, sure she knew it existed but to see it… to feel it. His aura was flashing dangerously with more anger and protectiveness than she’d never felt before. 

Emma laid a hand on his shoulder in an effort to calm him down.  Damon seemed to  realize he didn’t have his ax with him and abruptly relaxed. “Damn. You sure put the murder in murderpuppy. What is it with you and murder puppies, Em? What is this, four? Five?”

Fenris turned his glare off of Solas and onto Damon, but before he could spit something out, the cubs placed themselves between Damon and him, their fur bristling and their chests vibrating with tiny growls. Fenris blinked down at them, and then back up at Damon. “That is… vaguely adorable.” 

Damon grinned, “Ain't they though?” He scooped all three up. “Fenris, meet Hel, Jormungandr, and Fenrir.” He lifted each pup as he said their name.

Fenris suddenly relaxed and a small smile pulled at his lips. “You needn't have worried, I wouldn't attack unless provoked and he-” he gestured at Solas, who was still glaring at him. “He cares too much for his wife to place her in danger by acting first.”

Damon nodded. “Yeah. But, puppies are great for breaking tension.” 

Loghain suddenly frowned. “You are not counting me as one of her ‘murderpuppies’, are you?” 

Emma dropped her head into her hands and groaned as loud as she could. “Sooo, the whole loudly saying you don't like mages, knowing full well Damon supports them as Inquisitor, was a test?”

Damon laughed and set the puppies down. Jormungandr puffed right back up at Fenris, but Fenrir cautiously inched forward to sniff at Fenris’ boot. “Of course it was. Gotta make sure my money’s where my mouth is.” 

Fenris nodded, gently nudging Fenrir away with his foot. “Qunari are known to have short tempers.”

Cassandra snorted abruptly and then immediately turned red and covered her mouth with her hand. “Forgive me.” 

Damon shrugged. “Yup. That’s me, the brute of a qunari fucking and killing my way across Thedas.” His voice was bright but Emma could see the pain still in his eyes. 

She looked over her shoulder at Cass. “Tell the others that I’ll continue my story tonight if they’re willing to pile.” She thought that Damon would need that tonight.

Emma squeezed Solas’ shoulder. “Ma’lath, calm down. He’s not gonna hurt me. I’m safe.” Solas’ shoulders relaxed slightly but his aura was still tense.

Damon suddenly looked at her and narrowed his eyes. “When’s the last time you’ve had a drink?” 

She blinked at him. “Um… breakfast.”

He clapped his hands together. “Right. Glass of water or other fluids an hour. Let’s go get you a drink.” 

Fenris squinted his eyes at them and you could tell his mind was working some things out. “Ah, his reaction makes more sense now.” 

“Puppies, man.” 

Emma stuck her tongue out at Damon, but was glad when Solas turned his glare off of Fenris to give Damon a long suffering look. “Must you?”

**Author's Note:**

> Drop a kudos if you like this story. Updates are random we are both parents with busy schedules. Hope you enjoy it as much as we do :)


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